Shiraz Grill, I Drive - Closed

I finally found this Iranian restaurant on Westwood Blvd on Sunday. That's the road on I Drive after the convention center. You make a right and pass by that decrepit first strip mall and then look for a little office complex after a Best Western. It serves mainly skewered meat (chicken, lamb, beef). I had a stew called Khoresht-e Qoreh Sabzi for $15. It was made of sirloin steak, kidney beans, spinach, parsley, onions, fenugreek and dried lime. I ordered it to go. It was very black and bitter. The steak was tender. They give you a S load of basmati rice. I ate all the steak out the first night. And then I dumped some hot sauce I had left over from Nar last week and some chicken from my chicken quesadillas from Taco Bell and ate the rest on Monday (with the rice). That helped a little. I still don't have that Middle Eastern love of those bitter desert herbs. I haven't looked up fenugreek yet. I wonder if it is mache? This was only my second Iranian meal, so, I probably still dig the novelty and pull my punches. This is the only Iranian restaurant in town, so, I am afraid you will have to get your ass over here if you want to sample what they do. The place is big. It seats over 100. Lots of big tables. I would guess Iranians eat as a group. The guy at the Orlando Weekly is full chub over it.

*A place with the same name is now open near UCF on Alafaya. Not sure if it the same owner.

Magic Wok, Universal

I finally found my initial objective on Sunday. I drove right past it. It's not as hard to find as I made it. It is in that first strip mall after you cross the turnpike after Kirkman on Conroy. They have been there since 2002. It is supposed to have some of the most authentic Shanghai food in town. I was already full-ish and the menu seemed about 50% too high, so, I just settled on some Steamed Shrimp dumplings for $6 and Sticky Wrap Rice with Fried Dough and Pork Sung Filling for $6. I love the first and the second was on the "authentic" side of the menu. The dumplings were disappointing. I've had this exact mixture of shrimp paste and tiny pieces of whole shrimp before. So often that I think it is mass produced. The wrappers were also a little chewy. The (2) rice wraps were good. The pork is dried and shredded. The place seats about forty. It's your typical Chinese sit down. They aren't trying to wow you with ambiance. It has a fish tank with those weird fish that look more like eatables than pets. The owners (seemed to be the staff) were very nice. My main complaint is that the food better be 50% better if they are going to charge like they do. Obviously, they haven't priced themselves out of the market. I'm just speaking as how the world should work if it were just. Hey, It might very well be worth the premium. I will have to check back.

Bistro Clo Clo, Sand Lake Rd - Closed

This place in that strip mall on SL and Dr Phillips replaced Press 101. It's a modern bistro, I settled on a vegetable omlette for $10. That was about the median price of things and I wanted to see (as best I could) if they could cook. The rest of the Sunday menu was more "plating" pre-prepared items. It was a good omlette. I would guess two eggs. It was long, but, very thin. Franco-philes would say it was a little dry, but, Americans probably prefer it that way. The spinach was extremely pristine. The goat cheese was good. The mushrooms (3 or 4 types) were excellent and plentiful. Some on top. Most inside. It came with some great potato cubes. I would say they were fried (because crisp), but, they were also so non-oily that I would guess - baked. Maybe a combo. Half a plate full. They also offered up some respectable bread and butter. Sodas were a bit steep at $3. The menu is predictable - escargot, pate, burgers, sandwiches, etc. The place looks inauthentic. Like a Disney-fied reproduction. Most bistros (hearken back to Jack's Bistro on Three's Company) are depressing, ill furnished relics anyway, so, that isn't a problem. It's just that a shiny new euro (would have loved to type franc) like this let's you know that you aren't really in the French countryside. It seats about 100. There is a patio still. Unfortunately, they had a trio with a singer there while I ate. It was pretty empty inside (it was getting near 2pm though). It's fine, but, not worth a huge effort. I would like to compliment them (and this isn't snark) for not doing a whole tear down. The place was perfectly acceptable when it was Press and I hate these idiots that tear down a perfectly nice interior only to put in another equally nice interior. If the space doesn't fit your vision find another (preferably one in need of a face lift) location. Civilization will never evolve (and your industry will have less choice) if we keep tearing down and rebuilding the same structures. This goes for you idiots re-developers too.

Club Crawl - Downtown: Hansen's Shoe Repair, Hen House and Patio

I went to these bars on Saturday night.

10-11pm: Hansen's Shoe Repair - I finally nagged my way in after a year. It's the private, room deck over NV that you are supposed to call ahead for a reservation. It was fun. It has a little "library" and a little outdoor deck. The best part was watching them try and keep people from taking photos. They really take themselves very seriously. That's probably a good thing, but, my inner puck always rolls his eyes at authoritarianism. They were very quick to acknowledge your existence and order. They have a lot of artisanal elixirs and they practically jizz on you if you want a crafted cocktail. Got to love the passion if you don't understand it. The crowd was full of swells (most from the Gatsby party). People were friendly and the close environs (and stiff drinks) forced people to acknowledge your presence.

11pm-12am: The Hen House - I walked around the now cover free Wall St area and only liked the vibe at the former Sauced BBQ locale. it's now made up to look like a whore house. I mean brothel. The main attraction (other than by omission - undesirables) was the bartender. A little pixie-ish blond that looked like a pretty Kristen Chenowith.

12am-2am: I settled in at the Patio (old Eye Spy). It was such a freak show that I ended up bird watching all night. The bartender here was pretty nice too. *by alerted that this was supposed to be called Spy Bar.

FHSAA Finals, Citrus Bowl

I went to the final between Apopka and Miami Columbus. I wanted to see the "improvements", what the folks from that school looked like and I had nothing to do before the clubs filled up. It was fun. The Columbus fans were laughing at a little sophomore (like 5' 2") on Apopka during the introductions. He shredded them. Apopka won. Their "great" OT didn't seem so dominant to me. Maybe the opponents were to small to lock up. Columbus' part of Miami (south) may be the last area that still has actual white people. I don't know how they made it to the final. Their first in thirty years.

The stadium is better. It was, of course, still an operational mishit. They didn't tell you only one ticket window was open (the opposite of the usual window), they didn't cross sell bowl tickets, they charged more for the good (reserved now) seats, they roped off alot of areas. it seemed like only one speaker was working, no shuttle buses, people were taunting cops, etc. They do now take credit cards and the food was better (very expensive),

Grub Crawl - OBT: Taste of Peru, Tu Casa and Rossi's (Closed)

I stopped at these places on South OBT on Saturday afternoon.

Taste of Peru - They have been open for a few months. They are located near Taft Vineland Rd. It seats about 40. There were three tables of 14 people eating while I was. I had Cau Cau Mariscos for $15. It was an Incan recipe for seafood "stew" with potatoes, red peppers and rice. The party list included; two bay scallops, baby squid (tails and bodies), two mussels (New Zealand), and two types of shrimp (tiny and mediums). They were in a yellowish sauce that was probably a reduction of some stock and some regional plant matter. It was silky and good. The seafood was mostly not overcooked. It was a good choice on my part. The menu is fairly large and divided into starters, chicken, beef and seafood. The starters are about three quarters the price of entrees. I prefer that ratio to be 1 to 2. The place is a hole. They self-re-modeled. You can see the spray can squirts where they tried to paint the light covers. The ceiling and curtains are black. The walls and tablecloths are red. However, the food and the service were good. I find Peruvian food a little pricey for the merit it deserves. But, hey, at least it's not Italian American garbage at that price. I also didn't love paying $2 for a can of soda.

Tu Casa - This place is closer to the Florida Mall (and near the Turnpike - I think). It has been open for nine years. A plaque on the wall from Trip Advisor gave it 5 stars. The place seats around fifty and every seat was full and there were forty people in line and the line didn't die while I was there. It's just Dominican food, but, I'm starting to really respect the exchange they offer their customers. They are either one of the most generous cultures or one of the most efficient operators or really bad business people. I mean as a people. After every Dominican place I go to, I say to myself - "Is every other place ripping me off?". I had a plain Pernil (roasted pork) sandwich for $4. I was huge and loaded. I ate it for dinner. The meat was perfect. It most have been twice the width of Subway sandwich and as long. It was pressed. Loved the bread. Sandwiches top out at around $5. Breakfasts at $4. They have ambitious specials every day. Platters (of everything from fish to to beef to pork to chicken) are around $9. It would be worth eating here even if the food sucked. The people in line with me said they eat there two or three times a week and have been doing so for years. Go see what all the fuss is about. The place has puke green walls and isn't going to win any awards, but, it was clean. The line moved pretty fast.

Rossi's - I stopped at this place near Oakridge because the fat lady at the Sentinel put it on some list of stupid places you should eat at while X-mas shopping. I have no idea why. It's 50 years old and looks it. It looks like a sports bar. It smelled like my flip flop. I love history, but, c'mon. I had a terrible, conveyor belt pizza they said was 12 inches. If it was, so am I. Just awful. Hard as a plate. Well that does sound like me. A tooth breaker. It cost $7. The menu is value Italian. I doubt any of the dishes satisfy anyone who doesn't represent what I suspect was the clientele in Orlando 50 years ago. If you're Italian, you might see that it has an "electrical fire". Hard pass.

Grub Crawl - Winter Park: New Orleans Cajun Seafood and Jandaia's (Closed)

I ate at this two restaurants on Aloma (east of 436) yesterday.

New Orleans Cajun Seafood - This is their second location (original on E. Colonial). It took over a spot called Cheddar Jack's. I just bought a pound of crawfish because they had no bread in which to make Po Boys. It cost $6. They were fine. It looks like they just hang up different pictures and posters. Not even a paint job. See original post for more info. Not worth my time repeating that.

Jandaia's - I have to start off by opining that I think Brazilian's are a little delusional about market pricing and the tier on which the culinary world places their cuisine. I find it overpriced and unremarkable. It's just grilled chattel. Here you get an extensive "buffet" of rotisserie chicken (mostly thighs and sticks) in two sauces, flavorless black beans with "sausage" (it's a needle in a haystack situation), plain white rice and some massacred stewed vegetables. They even charge extra for the salad bar or soup (probably the chicken leftovers). It cost $7. That's not highway robbery, but, I can go to a Latin/Asian buffet and get thirty dishes (including sushi) for that. The chicken was also spongy. the texture of the tenderloin part of the chicken if you know what I am talking about. The space itself hasn't changed a lick since they took over for Rooster's. The owner said she makes most of her money off catering and parties. It looks it. I'd save this place for when you have to have an overdose of chicken. $7 worth. Like in the price of a whole chicken. Chicken is a profit center for restaurants. They also make no exception to the tipping policy on their POS system. It STARTS at 18% (to be given a glass of water). They also choose not to supply you with a printed receipt. Finally, it's in the middle of a sad area of town in a sadder (mostly deserted) strip mall. I wouldn't make the effort to find it.

Grub Crawl - UCF: Nar and Ice & Bites

I ate at these two places in a strip mall across from Knight Library on University on Sunday

Nar Mediterranean Grill - I had a beef doner kabob sandwich to go for $8. The meat (I think it's beef and lamb) was very good. The owner says he makes it in house. The pita was more like a flat kaiser roll than the flimsier pita you usually get. The lettuce were ok. They offer a hot and a traditional sauce on the side. I thought the white sauce would already be on it, so, I asked for hot. It was pretty plain as it was, so, I just ate the meat and then used the rest to make myself a fish sandwich. The place used to be a pizzeria. They still offer that. It didn't look that good. They have a pretty small selection. You can get the five-ish types of fare on rice or in a platter too. It's a small, non-descript place. The owner was nice. He's from Istanbul. The name means pomegranate. Not a destination spot.

Ice & Bites - This place was called Sno Tea. It's a Taiwanese boba, shaved ice, tea, etc place. It's hip inside. I had one of the two hot items (fried wontons or french fries) they serve. I had wontons for $3. They were fine. proably store bought. At least they didn't nuke them. Not a destination spot.

Boca, Winter Park

I was going to pick up dinner in the area, so I chose what must be the tenth and latest iteration in ten years of the space at the end of Park Ave. It's now called Boca. The prices were too high and the selection too perishable to risk getting it home and waiting until dinner. I sat at the bar and ponied up the $17 for coriander crusted ahi tuna. I busied myself by composing in my mind how I would tear apart the shoddy contracting (stained ceiling, sloppy outlets, etc), the over priced ($20-$40) dinner menu, the quasi-gastro-bore dishes, the lethargic staff and a host of other things and then I received the tuna. The tuna itself was tiny (like a Milky Way bar) and the coriander was a bit overpowering, but, the wilted spinach and fresh green beans and sweet beets around some heavy cream drops and a shower of dry aged cheese was fantastic. It almost became a "fisherman's" borscht (beets and cream). There is a hunter's borscht. Maybe we have something new here. I suspect it wasn't what they were going for and I don't like borscht, but, it just popped into my mind. The prices still are ridiculous. Burgers were near $20 for dinner. They had a ribeye above $40. If you go here just go for brunch. Prices are almost two thirds lower. The interior looks like they hired the same guy that did Prato. Very faux-rustic. The main room is almost all bar and hightop seating. The back has some fabric covered booths (not most of the space) and they seem to have a retail area back there. I think upstairs may still be a club, though I think they halved the space. They have a wood burning oven that they unfortunately dedicate to flat breads. They source conscientiously and locally (except I suspect the things in the exposed refrigerator). The place was packed. A post thirties crowd. I recommend it if you have money to burn and your curiosity isn't too adventurous. Or just use it as a bar.

Extract, Hannibal Square - Closed

I had brunch at this little round tower in Hannibal Square on Sunday. They sell smoothies and pizzas (really open faced sandwiches on pita), etc during the week and brunch on the weekends. I was just going to grab a tapa and knock this off the list before I saw the creativity of the brunch menu. It's just as well because the are transitioning (dropped) the tapas. It's a three course brunch for $18. Look for the menu in the dismantled gas pump. I had an eggs (egg) benedict over pulled pork with a blueberry and barbeque hollandaise sauce over arugula. The egg was over cooked, but, the sauce was a revelation. Plump blueberries. A real treat. Like nothing I've had before on a benedict. A sauce that should be patented. Put it on a bumper and I'd eat it like Emeril says. The second course was a chicken and waffle (wait for it) pot pie. They made the waffle with corn meal and although I like the creativity, it was a little "mealy' in the mouth. It combined with mushiness of the peas. Too much soft texture in the mouth feel. I'd pull back on the peas or add something to the batter to give it resiliency. The creamed chicken topping (home of the peas) also had corn nibblets and a dollop of a spicy cream sauce. Course three was an excellent fruit crumble with fresh whipped cream. A beverage came along with the meal. Each course had three options. They had what looked to be an excellent peanut chocolate pie and ahi tuna for examples. The seating is all outdoor. Little round tables with some kind of drink level that stuck right in your face. That and the insipid bean bag in the hole game were the only annoyances. Two idiots were playing the game and the thumping of the bags became bothersome. The owners were very cordial. They have opened a second branch downtown in the arcade that holds Hamburger Mary's. Recommended.

Bar Crawl - Winter Park: The Porch and Frank & Stein's (Closed)

I went to these bars in Winter Park on Saturday night.

The Porch - This place is diagonally across from Fiddler's Green. It has been open for 10 months (I think). I could swear there was something with name on I Drive a few years back, but, couldn't find a reference in my blog. It's nice. It has an outdoor area you see from the street and a much bigger inside. The inside is divided into two sections. It reminds me of the old O-Boys. The FSU game was on, so, it had that crowd. Mostly thirty and over. It was packed. The menu was funky. They have things like Grown Up TV Dinner. Alcohol prices were good and they actually listed them. They have $5 Jack all night. I didn't stay because I had to try the newest place in town (next paragraph) and the noise from the maxed out TV speakers was ear splitting.

Frank & Stein's - They did a bang up jump retro-fitting the old Shipyard space on Fairbanks. The bar area cascades against all of the far wall. They have a lot of tables. TVs everywhere. The noise from the foozball games wasn't as prevalent as at Porch. You could hear yourself think. The staff was polite and knowledgeable. They have huge beer label murals on the ceiling/ They have a great selection of craft beer (with prices and lists on a menu). They have food. The pizzas are probably bad (those conveyor belt "ovens"), I would stick to a hot dog. Good job. Better than the downtown location. The clientele was even older than Porch (if you can believe that). This was their first official week open.

The Alpine, Antiques District - Closed

I had an Americano ($2) at this spot on N Orange (across from The Imperial) on Saturday. It was (until very recently) Caffe Divina. Apparently the poor retired guy who bankrolled that place for a daughter who found out that owning a business requires work couldn't shoulder the load anymore once she ran and hid. I smell an engagement party in the works. A kindly customer took it off his hands. He wants to make the place an educational environment for coffee die hards. He's an engineer by day. He is bringing his experience from his time in coffee obsessed San Francisco to O-Town. The space open now is small with a tiny counter. He has decorated the place with minimalist shelves stocked with books that you should be ashamed to never have read. He has a space next door that may evolve as a retail/educational area. He makes each cup fresh. The sandwich selection (6ish) was above the humdrum. I wish him luck. He said he is waiting on a freshly milled sign for the front of the shop. That should make it easier to spot as you are driving through the neighborhood.

Mamak, 50

The winning streak continued at dinner on Saturday night. I tried the new (three weeks) Asian Street Food place in Vietnam town on 50 (off Mills). I had a Kari Wonton Mee dish that was wonton noodles in a curry "gravy" with shrimp, roasted pork, some kind of leafy green, steamed wontons and a dusting of dried, fried onions or something. It was beautifully plated and tasted even better. A perfect serving size. It cost $8.50. The wontons were so good that I ordered an app portion of them (shrimp and chicken) in a peanut hot sauce for "dessert". They (6) cost $5.50. They serve a mostly Malaysian and Indonesian menu with nods to Thailand, China and Vietnam. Rice dishes, noddle dishes, soups and a plethora of "bites". The name translates into street food stalls. I was just expecting another urbanized Vietnamese place, but, received a gift of a mostly unrepresented geographical food experience. The place looks great. it must seat over 100. It's the most sophisticated looking spot in the area. The interior designer has a lot of talent. They line the walls with stands of rope from ceiling to floor. The tables and chairs are IKEA chic. They have two common tables (in addition to the numerous four seaters) that seat twenty a piece. They have a bar counter. They also offer wine and craft beer. Most dishes are around $8. They had plenty off well uniformed (black from head to toe) wait staff. It would be a destination play if only for the idiosyncratic menu, but, the execution was top notch too. In a simple comparison, I found the food superior to Hawker's and with none of the wait and parking problems. Get to it!

Pig Floyd's Urban Barbakoa, Mills Ave

The king is dead. Long live the king. I never thought I'd speak those words, but, 4 Rivers has been dethroned. This new restaurant on Mills is not only the best barbeque et al spot in CF, I think it would do well in a national competition. It's the brainchild of the Treehouse Food Truck (never tried it) ownership. It blends traditional barbeque with Asian and Latin influences. I tried it out Saturday afternoon. I had a Big Floyd for $9.49. It was a sandwich with smoked brisket, pulled pork, sausage, citrus peanut slaw, bbq sauce on a Hawaiian roll. It came with fries. The brisket (3 pieces) was perfect (moist, tender, flavorful). The pork was moist. The sausage (often a dried out, caustic thing) was juicy and crumbly. The roll was the best of the type I have ever had. It was more croissant than roll. The slaw and sauce were great complements. The thing was so good I ate most of the meat with my fingers and then put the fat back in the sandwich and ate that with the remaining pieces of meat. And I'm a reluctant fat eater. Ask your wife. The fries could have been crunchier. There were some in my sandwich and I'm not sure if that was on purpose or not. They also have a cheese steak, and a bahn mi, and a brisket with egg, and plain pork and brisket sandwich. They also have four tacos. I had a great shrimp and sausage taco for $3.79. It was three medium sized shrimp (it would be better which chopped up large shrimp) and some chorizo like sausage out of the casing with a Mandarin Orange Sambal, Greek yogurt, mint and toasted almonds. It was delicious. They also have a butter chicken (tikka), an chicken al pastor and a pork belly taco. They also had daily specials like chili and a brisket taco. They add ribs and chicken to the combo plates. The sides are scant and Latin leaning, but, I don't go to a barbeque place for them any way. They have rice and beans, fried plantains, fried yuca, grilled corn on the cob, apple fennel slaw and grilled veggies. They have three desserts (interesting) and Mexican and regular sodas. The place looks great. There's alot of wood. The inside table tops are black and the seats are pewter. The outside patio tables are wood. The place was packed and was a Noah's ark of people. I saw hippies, hipsters, uniformed military, golden oldies, nuclear families and even a dog. You order at a counter and a wait person brings the food out. The most expensive thing is 3 lb rack of ribs for $23. However that is an outlier. The highest priced platter (brisket) is $14. Most stuff is under $10. It is a definite destination restaurant. I can't wait to go back.

Pub Crawl - Sanford: Wop's Hops and The Purple Grape

I had drinks at these two new comers on South Sanford Ave on Friday night.

Wop's Hops - The first good (non watery) locally brewed beer I've had. I had a Sweet Potato Ale (I think) for $6. It was flavorful and had body. They serve around eight home brews and several other brands. The place is cute and the have a very large fenced in outdoor area. It was pretty full. They are the head of the class. Actual females even patronized this place.

The Grape Room - A few folks at Wop's said this place would have a darker clientele and they were partially right. The main group was composed of middle aged Latinas, but, some white devils came in while I was there. The wine selection is lower end. I had a blase Carmenere for $8. The owner was nice and seemed happy to be doing what he is doing. The place looks inviting.

Vayda's Gypsy Rib Ranch, Sanford - Closed

I grabbed dinner to go at this spot on 17-92 near 46a on Friday. It has seen a lot of ownership in the past. Now it is a barbeque place again. This time it has a Latin influence. I had a crazy chicken sandwich with fries for $7. It was head and shoulders better than Southern Moon. The chicken wasn't pulled like I think the menu said but chopped. It was very good and the portion was large. The right amount of smoke. Even the sauce (probably bottled) was better than Southern Moon. They fries could have used a minute or two in the fryer, but, it was a to go order and they may have been rushing to please me. They get a pass. They have done nothing to the interior. It still has all the bric a brac that the previous owners put in. The two embellishments I noticed were a Bahamian mask and a mini flag of Columbia. The menu has more than basic barbeque and seemed to have daily specials. Prices were in line. It had some traffic at 2pm. It's been open for three months. It probably has the best BBQ in the area other than 4 Rivers.

Southern Moon, Curry Ford Rd

I had lunch at this barbeque joint next to Rogue Pub on Crystal Lake and Curry Ford Rd on Friday. It is run by the guys that had the Fork In The Road food truck. I wrote about them that they earned a 9 out of ten for creativity and 7 out of 10 for execution. That score hasn't improved. I had three other barbeque items this weekend. All were better than them. I would put them in the bottom half of their cohort. I had quarter pound servings of pulled pork ($2.59), brisket ($3.59) and pork belly ($3.59). The fat lady at The Sentinel said the brisket was juicy and tender. It was dry and way to smoky. The pulled pork tasted like it was over brined. The "juice" tasted like salt water, It was dry too. The pork belly seemed 100% smoked. Like a cold smoked salmon. You couldn't eat the skin. It was like a rind. The sauces were even worse. They have 5 and I tried 3. The Texas one tasted like gazpacho. The Carolina one was pure vinegar. The Memphis (I think) was red vinegar. Sodas also cost $3.50. They won't be brewing their own beer. The outside looks like an abandoned building. One sad sign that says BBQ. The place was empty and I just sensed desperation in air. The place looks nice inside and they have a bar. They just need to run down to Pig Floyd (review coming) and take a master class. Avoid.

Grub Crawl - SoDo: Sugar Divas Cakery and Smoothie Room

I grabbed some uselessness at these two spots in that condo complex on S Orange yesterday.

Sugar Divas - I bought a brownie for $3 at this cupcake, wine and specialty cake place. I haven't tried the brownie yet. The cupcakes were tiny and around $3. The selection was small. I think their raison d'etre is expensive, custom made cakes. The place a spick and span. They have opened recently. They won't take AMEX.

Smoothie Room - This pointless smoothie, tea, nonsense bar has somehow stayed in existence for three years. I though I lampooned it the last time I was down here, but, I guess I was more sensible back then. I suffered through a Yerba Matte tea for $3 for you people. All they did was put a tea bag in a cup. And the tea bag must have leaked because I was imbibing some kind of dust from the beginning. And no I didn't leave it in there to long. They are so pointlessly green (cheap) that they wouldn't give me a receipt. Can someone check with the licensing commission and see if that is legal?

Le Gourmet Break, Downtown

I just grabbed a pumpkin tart from this French breakfast, lunch and snack spot on Magnolia near Church on Friday. Since it closes at 2pm everyday, I find it hard to get to it. It was to be part of a trifecta that included another pastry shop and coffee bar near by. I screwed up the coffee address (in a different area and the bakery closed down, so, I decided to just grab a to go item here and go to plan b (you'll see plan b in proceeding posts). The tart cost $4. It was good. There were some sand like particles in it. They have sandwiches, pastries, quiches, salads, soups, omelets, crepes, coffee, etc. It looks clean. I think the owner may be French Canadian or Flemish French by look. The accent didn't sound Canadian though. In any event, the food seemed authentically French (good quality). It seats around fifty. It was pretty full. Sandwiches were around $7 (for reference).

Cavallari Gourmet, Lake Mary - Closed

I had a turkey sandwich at this meat/gourmet market on 46A and Int'l Parkway (in the shopping plaza across from the one with the Amstar) on Thursday. It cost $8. It was the closest thing I've had to a basic NY deli sandwich since I've been down here. It had about six times the meat and cheese as a Jersey Mike's sandwich (like a proper sandwich should). Plus, their large is as big or bigger than a JM's and therefore cheaper. I had the cheaper turkey (a buck or two less) and the quality still surpassed JM's (and I think they are the best fast food sandwich chain). The roll was good. You could choose from around seven cheeses ( I chose havarti). Greens were included (a little wilted). As were condiments. I was full after half a sandwich, but, powered through because it was so good. They have around twenty sandwich varieties. They make their own roast beef (and I think - turkey). You can get half sandwiches. I also bought a rice ball for $2.69. It was decent. They have prepared meals, a ton of meats, delicacies and a variety of pantry items. They also have beer and wine. It 's a pretty decent specialty market (Italian oriented). It's a little more expensive than a major supermarket,so, I'd buy the stuff they duplicate there and then supplement your stores with these guys. And drop all chain sandwich places from your rotation and go here. They also have a place in Oviedo.

Small Cakes, Lake Mary

I bought a Chocolate Cream cupcake at this bakery on Lake Mary Blvd (next to Chopsticks Chinese) on Wednesday. It was ok. It cost almost $4 with tax. The cake was moist (sugar). The icing was a fudge that tasted like molasses or artificial sweetener.It was the icing equivalent of water based frozen yogurt to ice cream. It was a large cupcake. I still don't get the appeal. They have a pretty wide range of cupcakes that they say are baked daily. If they don't get more customers that will be a lot a waste. They also have cakes, cookies brownies, etc. It's a couple of weeks old. It's spit polished. I would half the portion size and prices, But like those infernal fro-yo and ice cream shops, the goal seems to be to make the third ugliest city in America the ugliest (or at least the fattest). It's a national chain.

Thailicious, Longwood

I had lunch at this new (3 weeks) Thai restaurant in the old Bites Hot Dog location on 434 (near the hospital and Ronald Reagan) on Monday. I had some steamed pork and shrimp dumplings for $7 and Bangkok Chicken for $8. Both were very good. The dumplings (4) were "open faced", fairly large and seemed home made. The plating was nice. The Bangkok Chicken was fried (unbreaded) ala Orange Chicken. Not salty though. It came with a nice inverted bowl of decently cooked white rice. They also started me off with a simple salad. The place looks nice. It's bones are bad, but, they dressed the corpse. It's minimalist and modern. It seats about thirty, There were four other parties there at 2pm. The menu has lunch specials all around $8. You can still get apps and the dinner menu (more ambitious) at lunch. I think the menu topped out in the seventeens. It's a good representation of Thai cuisine. There are two other Thai places within half a mile, so, I hope the community can support them. If I remember correctly this may be the "fanciest" one of the bunch. It's run by a Thai family giving it their first try. I didn't see any rookie mistakes. Service was good (fast and polite). I recommend it if you live close by.

Duffy's Sports Grill, Lake Mary

I've been to this sports bar three times since they opened a few weeks ago. The first time I had a few drinks. The second time I had a mediocre (overcooked) tuna burger with a small portion of good fries for $12. The third time I had some very uninspired seared tuna for $15. I can confidently say that they are not a quality food option. I would stay away from anything more complicated or sophisticated than a burger. The prices are also around 20%to 50% too high. The tuna burger was like dry cat food. The seared tuna was small (6oz for the large). It came with a bad attempt at cucumber salad and cold soba noodles. The place looks great. It's about the sixth time someone has poured mucho dinero into this location in the center off 46a that has the Amstar theaters. The service is good now, but, I wonder what will happen when the Hunger Games like auditioning process subsides. I expect that only the most masochistic entrants will remain and the carnival like vibe will die. The place is decorated in sports memorabilia, football helmets and televisions. It is run like a corporation. Heavy sales and marketing emphasis. They will exploit every opportunity to turn a profit. As an MBA holder, I appreciate the professionalism. As a customer, I kind of resent the imposition. Also on the down side, they won't publish most of their drink prices (I can see why when they charge $9 for a glass of cheap wine that you can buy for $7 a bottle at retail) and they close at 1pm. I don't see how they thrive once college football season ends. Shula's across the street is better and cheaper.

Nikki's, Parramore District

I went to this Soul Food spot on West Carter (below the 408 on the Citrus Bowl side) after the Rainbow debacle. I wanted fried chicken, but, they only do that on Sundays (closed Tuesday). So, I audibled for something I had never tried before - pork necks. They were $7 and came with two sides and cornbread. I took mashed potatoes and mac and cheese. The necks (6 pieces) were salty. I assume they were vertebrae. Not a ton of meat. I could swear the potatoes were a mix, but, there were some small chunks in there. The gravy was ok. The mac had tons of punchless Parmesan (is that even possible) and ricotta (I think). The pasta was way overcooked. The place seats about thirty. There were five others there. It has been open a while and is in now in the hands of the son of the original owner. Since it is not breaking any new ground and the execution doesn't impress and the neighborhood is sketchy, I would pass on it.

Rainbow Cafe, Parramore District

I had lunch at this coffee shop inside the Parliament House (motel/club) on OBT a week ago. It answers the question - why are gay guys so fit. It's not the party drugs that are depressing their appetites. It's the menu at the Rainbow Cafe. These guys had the nerve to advertise in My City Eats. It's not in that class of establishments. It's a sad coffee shop for a sad area of town. A double negative that doesn't equate to a positive. I had the safest thing on the banal menu - a cheeseburger. It cost $8. It was an obvious frozen hockey puck that was overcooked. The cook/owner was a black woman, so, the bun had to be buttered. Who (except Southerners) thinks that this is necessary or a value add? It's a pointless health hazard. The fries were coated with that junk that Burger King admitted they put on to please black customers. The accoutrements were not fresh. Service (1) was friendly, but, no refill. The place is ugly and smells of smoke. I couldn't wait to leave. Only one other person was there. I thought I might feel a little uneasy because of the location. The food was all I had to worry about.

Outrigger's Tiki Bar, New Smyrna Beach

I was on my way home on Sunday and I decided to try this other suggestion by The Sentinel. It's near the boat ramp/marina when you go over the drawbridge heading out of town. I thought the location meant it would be some salty dog dump frequented by the lower middle classes. It wasn't. It was a brand new edifice (last December) surrounded by brand new Key West inspired condos. A valet parking type of place. It's right on a tributary of the intercoastal. The outside has a bar area and a table area. There are tables inside too. It was packed. What The Grille must be the past of New Smyrna, this place is to the present. Don't get me wrong. Both places are worth going to. This place just seemed to be the new girl in town. It attracted a younger crowd. Now, it was a little disjointed (even at 4pm), but, my food came out fast once I could get it taken down. I had a yellow fin ceviche for $12. It was a little much for a martini glass that was mostly corn. However, they always job you on this item and I was ready for it. The fish was pretty good. We used to quote some movie where some guy said "Hey Coolidge, shave with an axe?". I could ask the same question on how they cut the tuna. That said, it was a big surprise and I recommend it. I lucked out on what I assumed were going to be two missions of pity in a sleepy beach town. I liked them both for different reasons. One was classic and one was hip. Choose your poison.

The Grille at Riverview, New Smyrna Beach

I went to this restaurant on Flagler and the intercoastal (behind the hotel) Sunday afternoon. It's under the drawbridge. I liked it alot. It's a big place (100 inside and out). I was told (Sentinel) to try the cheeseburger. It was good. I wanted it medium rare, but, it was well done. It was a nice size and the cheese was melted properly. The veg and bun were fresh. It came with fries or potato salad. I chose potato salad and it was good. I think they had slivers of sweet potato in it. The meal cost $10. They also had a nice brunch menu and I checked the dinner menu and it was extensive. This is old school dining, but, not ossified. The place looks similarly. It has the bones of an older restaurant with some flourishes. It has alot of brick. The deck is nice. The view is great. The service was polite. I would do without the live "warbler", but, I guess the manager has to have someone to sleep with. Prices reflect its probable positioning as the town's most enduring fine dining alternative. Don't worry about a dress code for brunch (at least) though.

Club Crawl - Downtown: Sideshow, Aero and Olde 64

These places are all new and replaced One Eyed Jack's, Sky Bar, Bar-B-Q and Eye Spy. I went on Saturday night.

9-9:30pm: Sideshow - They did a great job here. It has freak show art. The bar is huge and in the middle. It was totally full of FSU fans. I could have stayed here, but, it was so packed and I had to try the other.

9:30pm-12am: Aero - It looks almost the same as Sky. They redid the "cabanas". They connected the old Eye Spy and Bar-B-Q to here, so, I bounced between the three. It started getting a mixed crowd at 11pm. The free cover seems to brought in a different crowd.

Olde 64 - This replaces Bar-B-Q. It was almost identical in look and crowd. It collected the "whitey" hipster crowd. The smoking policy ruined it for me. I'm not sure if the Eye Spy part has a different name. The layout is the same. The back rooms have some interesting decor. One has old fashioned TV's and one is all big TV's. The music mash ups were kind of poorly chosen.

*It seems like most of the clubs have discontinued covers and raised drink prices.

Chicago's Stuffed Pizza, Downtown - Closed

I tried this new (2 months) Italian restaurant on the train tracks at Church St on Saturday night. Of the two prospective restaurants I wanted to go to, one (Red Cafe or something) was out of business and a new one on N. Magnolia wasn't open yet or couldn't be found. This place is in that space in the back of Hamburger Mary's. It's a plastic menu kind of place. I had a pan pizza despite the 30 minute wait time. They softened the blow with free cheesy breadsticks. They were fine. However, I was full by the time the pizza arrived. It was just as well because the pizza was like a cheese pot pie. I have to acknowledge that I don't count this as pizza to begin with and have never had one that made me happy. Pizza must be done Neopolitan style. Flat. I know I just lost the Mid West. This one had a very cracker like "shell". It was an "individual" size with sausage. It costs $9, but, they added $1 for the sausage. They didn't state that when ordering and the menu is likewise silent on the topic. That said, it was a pretty hospitable place. In addition to the free app, the beer was also being sold at happy hour prices ($2). They had enough wait staff. Three for the outdoor patio. The place has an unfortunate layout. It's a serpentined dining room that can't accommodate alot of indoor seating. It also causes them to put tables in odd places. It fills a niche, but, I doubt I would return. I don't love the main attraction and I'd doubt the regular Italian dishes are world class. Plus it just killed my night. Those globs of cheese and bread just sapped all my energy. I'd leave it to the great pale masses from the Big Ten. However, a woman from Ohio told another table that she didn't consider this real deep dish pizza.

Public House, UCF Area

This (Friday night) was supposed to be a pub crawl consisting of the aforementioned, Knight's Pub and the Mad Hatter. The Mad Hatter (and the place next to it) is shuttered. Knight's Pub wanted $10 for that dump. KP is near the intersection of University and Alafaya if you are interested. It's been there forever. There is a new Bar Louie across the street now. Culpepper's is now something called B&B something or other.

Public House wasn't bad. It's a craft beer spot. The selection was good. They had a band playing. It had a brand new interior. It was about half packed. The crowd was a little more seasoned than in the college bars. It's at the end of that strip mall on the right of the end of University. You have to watch out for the west entrance that says Collegiate Way because it comes up fast. You must drive through a housing development that looks like a motel.

100 Montaditos, UCF Area - Closed

I had dinner at this Spanish restaurant in that big outdoor mall on Alafaya Trail in Waterford Lakes on Friday. It's in the back by the movie theater. I thought "montaditos" would be something like rebel fighters, but, it is a sub-section of Spanish gastronomy that seems to relate to tiny sandwiches and/or little snacks. I was in Spain last spring and I don't recall that word being thrown around. Who knows? Anyway, they really have 100 montaditos. Actually that is a lie. They have more. They have 100 mini sandwiches. They also have 2 platters (of 9 options), 5 appetizers, 4 salads, and beer, wine, sangria and a drink called "clara".  They also have sodas, coffee and water. Refills are free. And get this. The most expensive sandwich is $3. Five are $1. Fifteen are $1.50. Twenty are $2. Forty are $2.50. They call their rolls "chapata". They are around five inches long. They are like a mini-baguette. Almost REALLY good. I can't even get into what comes on them. I had the whole $1 section. That was - serrano ham, chorizo, salchichon (cured sausage), lomo (dry cured pork loin), and chistorra (basque style sausage) with piparra (peppers). They say the source from Spain. I also had a shrimp one for $1.50. It was way too much. I "boxed" three of them. The fillings (minus the shrimp) were all more than respectable. If I lived near here, I would go maybe every other day. I think it's a chain. I want one. In my house! The wine and some of the beer is all Spanish. The place is counter ordering, but, it looks like a real Spanish tapas bar. You'd swear it wasn't manufactured. It seats around sixty. It was pretty full. This is a real find. It rocks the scales on value and is still kind of novel with respect to the cultural experience. They just put all fast food places on notice. I hope they make all of them pick up their game. Extinguishing a few of them in the process wouldn't bother me either. It is a joke that a place like Subway is a dynamo and this place is barely a whisper. Subway is just the most egregious example. This place crushes any sandwich chain in existence.

Pammie's Sammies, Universal Area

I grabbed a chicken salad sandwich to go from this spot on Turkey Lake almost across from Dr. Phillips High School on Friday. You can't see the place from the road. It is at the back of the mostly untenanted office building near the Universal administration entrances (look for the Hess station). The sandwich cost $8. It was very good. It came on good wheat bread. It consisted of chunks of fresh chicken breast. It also had walnuts. The field greens were a little wilted. It came with really good potato salad and a pickle. The sandwich may be better if served on a baguette. The chicken falls out. It is a cute place that seats around twenty. They have two rooms. They also offer barbeque, burgers, salads, soups and flat bread pizzas. They also have breakfast, coffee and smoothies. Most things are under $9. It seems like alot is made from scratch. They have been open for three years. It would be in my weekly rotation if I lived near here.

A-Aki Sushi and Steakhouse, Florida Mall Area

I grabbed a roll lunch special to go from this new Hibachi/Sushi spot on Sand Lake near the mall on Friday. I got talked into it because it was before 3pm and they offered a 15% discount. That was nice, but, I later saw a sign for $1 sushi after 3pm. The rolls stunk. I had a salmon roll and an Alaskan roll (salmon, avocado and cucumber). The salmon may have been the worst I've ever had. It had no flavor. None. It looked like smoked salmon. It was cut so haphazardly that it looked like they used their hands. It came with a miso soup and a salad for $8. The place (an old Smokey Bones) is large. It must seat over 100+. One side is a bar area with seats, one is a hibachi room and the middle is a dining room with the small sushi bar at the back. It's a modern black motif. It looks like they spent a lot of money poorly. It looks nice at first glance, but, you see the bad contracting the longer you stare. I was there at an odd hour, so, it was pretty empty. I just sensed a hint of desperation in the management already. A space that big can't come cheap. I would be surprised if they get a reputation for quality, but, can't we say that about most sushi places that do hibachi. It may find a home with the non-discerning segment of the population.

Froots, Florida Mall

I had a caffe americano for $2 at this smoothie stand in the mall near OBT and Sand Lake on Friday. I wasn't about to join the legions of imbeciles that pay $6 for a smoothie. I just saw a comedian on Fallon do a set on how you need to take out a loan for a smoothie habit. He is dead on. An even stupider addiction than coffee. Avoid.

Khasiyat, OBT

I had the lunch buffet at this south Indian restaurant on W. Lancaster off OBT on Friday. It cost $8. I'm not a huge fan of vegetarian menus, but, the flavors here were outrageous. I sampled all their dishes - a curry with paneer and spinach, a curry with cauliflower, peas and peppers, a spicy potato dish, a cabbage dish, two types of fried balls, a fried donut that you cover with broth, basmati rice, really thick raita, papadam, a fried bread and roti. A soda (can) was a bit overpriced at $2. The trays are styrofoam. The place seats about 60. There were two others there while I ate. They have been open since 1998. The aesthetics of the place are a little unassuming. The hospitality was impressive. They have a fairly extensive menu. Parking is a bit limited. The name means "specialty" or specialties". It is a really good value.

The Crepevine, Altamonte Springs

I had two crepes to go at this new (three months) creperie in The Village Shops off 436 (near I4) on Saturday. I had a Cupid (nutella) for $3.50 and a lemon and sugar for $3. They were ok. A little chewy. I think that means they overworked the batter. They have savory (meats) and breakfast crepes too. They also have salads. The place is nice and modern and clean. It can seat alot of people. It's an order at the counter place. They are out of Tallahassee. They have beer (craft) and wine. It's near Amigo's or Ker's or Kohinoor. Most things are in between $6 and $8. They are open from breakfast through dinner.

Ms. Pat's Fish and Wings, Sanford

I achieved the seemingly impossible Friday night. I found a time when this fish and wing place was open for business. I had tried no fewer than five times before then (different days and times) to eat here. They don't have their hours listed on the door (or anywhere). The locals were always wrong (or disingenuous) with their information. It turns out that they work a nail grinding four nights a week (W-Sa). They had a sign that said they were starting lunch last Monday. Good thing I didn't believe them because when I asked they said that didn't happen. They had to have some indescribable cuisine to get a recommendation. They didn't. I had 8 wings with fries for $8. The wings were tiny. They did add two wings to even things out. They were fine. The fries were under cooked. It took twenty minutes to get the order out. I know wings take a while, but, I think they'd take that long on a sandwich. It seems like the slightest rush could overwhelm the single preparer (Pat). They also serve fried fish. I presumed the fish would be frozen so I avoided it. I saw a plate come out and it looked ok. Don't ask me why the have don't have fried chicken if they have fried fish. They must have at least two fryers if they have wings. The place has four tables that looked alot like the ones at Shantell's. I wonder if they have a relationship. The place is fairly new and clean. Four other groups came in after me. One ordered a burger and they didn't have any. One person had a huge to go order that could have gummed up the in house dining (I think it came in early enough that it didn't). They also have shrimp fried rice, shrimp, pork chops and a cheesesteak. They have six sides. It's on 4th St near Buster's. It has been open for a year. That is really more pub than they deserve. It's just too quixotic (in the sense that they are more in love with the dream of having a restaurant than operating one) for me. It's not a place an A type personality can appreciate.

Kathleen's Klozet, Sanford

I had a pot of tea and two little chicken salad sandwiches on a croissant at this replacement for Twisted Vine on 1st St this Sunday. It was $8 in total, I'm not sure of the breakdown. They have a daily selection of pastries and snacks. It seems to only have two tables of four to six and a counter. The owner said it is usually be reservation only. Both tables were full of women playing dress up for some one's birthday. The store also sells antiques. It's not (I won't say my cup of tea) exactly my sort of thing, but, I'm sure there of plenty of people who think otherwise. It totally fits in in the area and fills a need. It is mostly a day time experience at this point (still pretty new). They may extend hours if there is demand.

Pete's Eats, Longwood

I had a small Big Pete (Ham, Salami, Bacon) to go from this deli near the Longwood Rail Station on Friday. It cost $4. It was a salt bomb. Too many cured meats at once. Even the american cheese was salty. It was a good value though. The ham was of good quality. The salami was "brittle". They have around ten of your typical lunch sandwiches and breakfast sandwiches. They also may be the only ones who offer apple sauce and cottage cheese at this date and time. It's fine place to grab something for the commute, but, not a destination play. It has recently opened.

Vinzo's, Casselberry

I had a dinner to go at this very new Italian restaurant near Colorado Fondue Company off 436 on Friday. It's a replacement for a little pizzeria that was next door (same owner). I had a $3 slice that was huge. I was going to bitch about the price, but, it was the size of a slice and a half. It was ok. Not too much sauce (they say just Roma tomatoes) and a small crust. I thought it had too much cheese. I also had a 8" Chicken Parmigiana hero for $ 6. It was ok. Too little cheese. Both things came out in under three minutes, so, I guess it was pre-prepared and just assembled. That's the vibe I got from the place. They redid the interior very nicely, but, I fear that the food won't match up. They have a large menu and a few ambitious dishes. It's like they couldn't abandon the old "pizzeria" mindset. I hope they haven't "middled" their way out of a customer base or spent all this money just to keep their old clientele. There is a brewery opening up next door. Hopefully, that will pull people into this unfortunate location. It's right by the new overpass. That can't help an already floundering strip mall. It is also impossible to get back on 436 from the parking lot. They do have a competitive pricing strategy. The most expensive thing is $17 (shrimp dish). They have quite a few non-Italian options. To me that is a bad sign.

Royal Indian Cuisine, Casselberry

I had the buffet lunch at this new Indian restaurant on 436 on Friday. It has been open for ten days and replaced Brick and Fire. The inside has been decorated with light brick walls and the rear is cordoned off into a private area now. The buffet cost $10. I tried to try almost everything for you people. They had four chicken dishes - tandoori, butter, masalandar and one other (I think - Rogan). The tandoori was not undercooked like it can be in alot of places. The butter was a little salty and I think they shred the old tandoori for it. The other two were good and consisted of big chunks of breast meat. Both were in a red sauce. They had a light green daal and a mushroom dish for the vegetarians. They had basmati rice and a briyani with potatoes and other vegetables in it. They had a home made paneer dish. They had a dessert made of semolina and sugar that was pink. They had padam (I always see it called papadam) and naan. They also had a salad and condiment area that I didn't sample. They had one un-Indian dish which was a corn fritter/nugget. The service (2) was good. They gave me 3 refills. The owner is from Nepal. Maybe that means less frugality. The place seats about 60. It has representative art and photos from the region. The tables and seat are wood. It's not embarrassing itself. I wish them luck.

Tortilleria La Mexicana #2, Orlando

I had lunch at this Mexican restaurant on W. Oakridge Rd in between OBT and John Young on Tuesday. I had the Platillo a la Mexicano so I could report back on as many things as possible. It cost $10. It consisted of a quesadilla, tamale, two enchilladas and two flautas. I asked for the flautas to be chicken and got beef. They correctly served the enchilladas as one of each and the rest as beef. I was hoping for shredded beef, but, it was pieces. They were tender in the enchilladas, but, overcooked in the others. I suspect they use the same pile of meat for all and the dishes that required extra cooking/frying ruined the meat. The chicken was very tasty (a little dry). I think the used coriander. The enchilladas were not enchillada-ed (rubbed with chilis). They also did not come with a red sauce. They and the flautas and tamale were smothered in a crema that was very thick (over kill). I must have ingested 5000 calories. The quesadilla tortilla was fried and looked like a taco. The tamale was dense and they filled it with a cheese that had a different color than the quesadilla cheese. Everything was loaded with queso fresco. They also had amazing chips (thick) and salsa (green). I ate way too many because I was starving because I wiffed on two other places on my list before I landed here. Soda came in a bottle, The place and area may leave something to be desired. I forget how I found out about this place. When I first rolled up, I thought it was closed down. It's behind opaque black windows with no entrance sign. It's also attached to a market. They try and gussy the place up with flags and streamers, but, it just makes it look messier. Like someone didn't take down party decorations. They have these crazy heavy wood tables with wood seats that have grapes, horses and a guy making out with a cactus on them. This place is full on Mexico Mexican. I was the only gringo there.  I think it's central Mexican (huaraches, chilaquiles) cooking, but, I think the waitress was just agreeing with whatever I said. I think it might scare some of you and it is difficult to get to (no exit to Oakridge from I-4). The food is authentic and the portions are generous (I forgot that they also served beans and rice) to a fault. However, that may not be what you want. It will really add to your waistline to eat here. Yet, you are probably all getting from your car to your seat via motorized Hover-round, so warp your way into becoming those people in Wall-E. They end the restaurants title with #2. I wonder if there is another?

Sea Dog Brewing Co., Disney

I ate at this seafood restaurant on Monday night. It's down off the Downtown Disney exit (535)  in the area that has a Hooter's and Kitty O'Shea's (Palm Parkway). It replace the Crab Shack. I was expecting a working brewery, but, it's just a restaurant that serves their beer. The place has potential that it is not reaching. I blame management. It's a loosely run ship. There was no host at the door to begin with. I had to chase down a waiter who chased down someone else. The place seemed rudderless. The entree (chipotle shrimp and grits) was ridiculously over salted and sloppily plated. There is no Gordon Ramsey tasting this stuff before it goes out. It was a weird concoction to begin with. It cost $15. They slathered barbeque sauce (salty) on grits (salty and dense) and topped it with some avocado salsa and bacon topping (salty). It would be over kill (and odd) even if executed properly. I only ordered it because I was apprehensive of how they would treat a lobster or the other sea creatures. The swordfish dish I saw going to another table seemed small and drab. It may have been wiser to stick with an less challenging recipe even if it was twice as expensive. I also ordered some shrimp to try out the raw bar/freshness. They sell them separately at $1. They and the ones in the entree were adequately sized and not overcooked. I think I'd still rather pay around $7 for a half pound of peel and eat. I learned you tell fresh by whether they still have the front feelers attached. They didn't, but, I wasn't expecting non-frozen.  I also tried a flight (4) of their beers for $7. They were all good. A pint runs $5.50. I lucked out with my waiter. He was patient and knowledgeable and even talked his manager into a ten percent discount (food only) because of multiple complaints (not just mine) about the grits salt flats. The experience was different from what I imagined because I imagined this place was a lone building that served as a working brewery and had some snacks. It's really just a large chain restaurant. However, I think that there needs to be more control if they want to be more than a Chili's/Olive Garden. They have really good, branded beer. They have fresh sea food. They have a nice atmosphere. They have talented servers. They just need a guy or girl in charge who will conduct this orchestra. I'd start with the kitchen. Better than I expected, but, I expected a tasting room. They had a place in Winter Park that failed. I don't recall them having seafood. Maybe they should try again with this strategy?

Yum-mi, Mills Ave

I went to this Banh Mi (mostly) restaurant on Mills last Wednesday. It's across from that gay bar (St Matthew's) I wote about a few weeks ago. I had an original Bahn Mi and ate it on Thursday. It had a small amount of pate, pork roll, head cheese and sliced roasted pork. It was fine. I didn't love the baquette. It was more of a hero roll. They overdid the cilantro. The veggies were fresh. It cost $4. They have around twenty Banh Mi's. They range from $4 to $8. They also have spring rolls, noodle salads, soup, sno (ice creamish), fruit freezers (smoothies), boba and coffee. There was another less professional bahn mi place here a few years ago. They replaced them and redid the inside and outside and expanded the menu a few years ago. I just always forget they are there. It's not the best or cheapest bahn mi place in town (that may be a small place on 50 that I forget the name of - near a travel agency), but, they are acceptable.

That One Spot, Ocoee

I went to this specialty burger place on Wednesday night. It's on Maguire Road and 50 in a strip mall. I had a BBQ Burger for $7.50 so I could report back on as many components as possible. I was kind of disappointed. They are supposed to be experts in the field. I found the burger patty itself to be the weak spot. They brag that it is composed of brisket, rib and chuck and made every week. Every week doesn't impress me and the blend was bland. It's also pressed like McDonald's patty. I don't like house burgers, but, how about something formed by hand? I think it's also around a quarter pound of meat. They don't say, so, I'd guess it's something they'd rather you not concentrate on. The temperature wasn't where I asked for it. Although, on a patty that thin it is usually doesn't make a difference to the texture. They seem to want you to concentrate on the toppings. That's a warning sign to me. My burger had cheddar cheese on it. It got lost and was otherwise unremarkable. The fried onion rings were perfect. The bacon was excellent. The bun was gourmet with a nice gloss (fresh and large too). The spiced pickle slices were good even if they were mass produced. The barbeque sauce tasted familiar (as in mass produced). They added some brisket to it as a gift, but, it wasn't what they think it is. It was tough. So, the sad part is that main component (and the next top meat) drags down the experience. They also have turkey, salmon, veggie and chicken burgers. Maybe these are better. Maybe it's secretly run by Hindus or the Chick Fil-a cows. It's an order at the counter place. It's clean and hip. It seats around thirty. I wouldn't seek it out if you have a competitor in this category in your town.

Hagan O'Reilly's, Winter Garden

I went to this pub/bar way off the beaten path near some development called Stoneybrook on Wednesday. I tried some places around here a few years ago. They were all still there and there was a new strip mall across from this one that had a Cajun place. I went because it keeps showing up on "best of" lists. I just had a reasonably priced beer, so, I can't speak for the food. As a bar play, it just seems like another stupid Irish theme bar whose outside bar is probably unusable half the year. The most memorable thing that happened to me there that night was that I got some 'tude from an old guy next to me when I tried to ask him a question. I'll never understand why surly people go to a bar if they want to be alone. If you don't like people why do you surround yourself with them? You realize that the liquor is more expensive here, right? Please don't tell me that you think he thought he had a shot with the bartender or any other ladies. I think I'd have to live close by or be promised guaranteed sexual gratification (and a designated driver) to go back.

Grub Crawl - Antiques District: Elliott's (Closed) and Backhaus

I ate at these places in an area also known as Ivanhoe Village on Wednesday. They have both replaced other establishments pretty recently.

Elliott's Public House - I just had the two eggs any style because it was $5 less than the Country Fried Chicken and Eggs (and I was underwhelmed by the options). It came with sausage, so, you basically pay that much more for a cluck. It cost $6.50. It came with a basic circular patty, mushy home fries and toast. It was fine. The real disappointment was the menu. It's rather limited in the entree area and not exactly unique. There are already two or three restaurants of this type just in that tiny area. I don't think another was necessary. Especially one that would probably be rated below those places. They serve mostly breakfast fare and some burgers and a few sandwiches during the day. All are over or near $10. They shoe horn in their dinner "tapas" stuff at the same price levels. They have six entrees that are all derivative and over $14. There is alot of pressure on the chef to deliver on this menu. There will be no points garnered for originality. The place is in what I think was a greasy spoon called Brian's. They tried to gussy it up (and did an ok job), but, the layout is poor and there is no flow. The center room is really a transition area between the door and the bathrooms/kitchen. The real dining room is to the right of it. It feels hidden (no view). It's small. I just don't see this place finding a niche. It's too flawed to cater to the high end customer and too expensive and pretentious for the middle to low end. They alienated themselves from the whole market by trying to thread a very thin needle. They need a draw if they want to stick to this strategy. It's tough to find one nowadays, but, that is challenge. You don't have too rush out and find this place unless you start hearing that the chef is a magician. I forgot to add that they gave me a glass of water that tasted like poison.

Backhaus - They replaced someplace called something like Yalaha Bakery. It serves a similar niche. They serve German baked goods and other eatables. I had a Cherry Streusel for $4. It was good. They have a larger selection than their predecessors. It's a block towards downtown from Elliott's. The staff was pleasant.

El Gran Palacio, Lake Mary - Closed

I went to this Latin/Asian buffet today for lunch. It replaces a buffet in the Target complex on Lake Mary Blvd that I believe was called Golden Buffet or something or other. It's an improvement. I don't know if this (Latin for Asian) is officially a trend yet, but, I hope it is. You get another type of food. You don't have to worry about the penny pinching games and ignorance of hygiene that the Asians are guilty of. It's cheaper. The waitresses look like they were born after Vietnam not like they fought in it. This place is now run by Dominicanos. The price is only $6.69. They even allow coupons ($1 off) at that price. If you are going to overload my mailbox with them then I am going to use them against you. They have acceptable sushi (actual fish slices) and the best part is that the Latin customer base doesn't seem to like it. They have all the "gross" latin stuff. I've never seen a more authentic spread. I had pork tripe, beef tripe, goat, chicken gizzards, pig feet, pernil and some tasty desserts I have never seen before. They had soups, rice, beans and chicken if you are one. The Asian side had a cooked salmon and the usual Chinese gruel. It's amazing how unhealthy that stuff looks like when you compare it to the "unhealthy" Latin stuff. The Latin stuff looks low-cal in comparison. It looks like it was made in a kitchen. The Asian stuff looks like it was made in a lab. They also have a hibachi area and ice cream. They have pizza and some "American" items. A soda was $2. The place looks exactly the same inside. I can't wait for every buffet to be in Latin hands. They are way more clean, generous and personable. They aren't out to squeeze their customer. They are there to make them happy. A odd concept/priority now that we have so many "efficiently" run businesses.

* I went back on 9/29/2014 and it seemed like they were pulling back already. There was an Asian lady running the room. Let's hope they didn't hire her to run it the "Asian" way.

* I went back on 11/25/14. They ditched the dragon lady and everything was back to normal.

Camp House, Sanford

I ate lunch at this remake in the Scruffy Duffer's spot on 46 on Saturday. They also do not list their liquor/beer prices. It's definitely not because they are so proud of them. I had a Lodge Cheeseburger for $9. It's nice that they actually include the cheese in the price. It's not nice that they charge $9 for something that BurgerFi does better at half the price. They; burned the top, over cooked the rest, seasoned it with some crap spice mix, salted it, served it on a stale pretzel bun, topped it with limp vegetables and paired it off with under cooked fries. And that was and probably will always be the problem with this place. They think they know what they are doing. I wager they do not. It's fixable. But, it doubt they realize something is off. They are like one of those places that argue with Gordon Ramsey as he is critiquing their failing business. My guess is that they just don't know what good is. I would bet your life that it is run by a bunch of forty-something, white hillbillies (we need a similar word for people who live in the swamps) who have wanted to own their own place since they traded their futures for a steady paycheck. The place smells of a Home Depot commercial. The color they chose (some kind of grey) for the majority of the walls is all dude. No woman would ever have chosen this color let alone matched it with the stain the have on the wainscoting or tables (both different). Then again this is CF, so, maybe I can't say that about no woman. They have decorated the place with taxidermist overstock. They use picnic tables for seating. They have alot of flatscreens. It's all dude inspired. However, what makes it really depressing is that it reminds you of your buddy with a kid's first house (that he tried to do the work on). It was kind of crappy to begin with and he just hamfisted the renovations because it was the first time his dad wasn't there to do it for him. There's crap and clutter all over. Things that should be put away aren't. Things that should be hung properly, aren't. This place is just an ugly "dudes" hideaway with food that is about as good as the decor. It's sad because you can see they want to get in on this whole gastro pub trend (even if it's ten years too late). They know about it. They know things can be better than what is around them. They just don't have the vocabulary down yet and they are speaking. Look it's basically the same as it was before. Maybe it will turn out to be an improvement. I can't go back for a reason that has nothing to do with what I've written about so far. I can't go back because they let a bunch of meth heads smoke at the patio bar. The problem - it's connected (via a common opening) to the inside bar and all the smoke blows into the restaurant from outside. That right there would be enough to disqualify you from any social climbing aspirations. Cigarettes = poor white trash. If you don't believe me, do a quick informal poll the next time you go out. The smoker will at least one of those things.

Grub Crawl - Sanford: Celery City and Scoops and Spokes

I ate at these places on Thursday. One is on Palmetto and one is on Sanford.

Celery City - I was prepared to overlook the fact that they are among the growing faction of thieves that refuse to list the prices of their wares (especially craft beer narcissists) when I looked at my bill and saw a charge for using my credit card. That's two cases of anti-transparency and that's two too many. Congratulations. You just lost what would have been a detailed and positive review of your business (and a repeat customer) by acting like a group that you probably stereotype and lampoon. They said all beers are around $5. How (or why) should we trust you? You are cheap enough to collect a credit card charge and sinister enough not to inform the customer about it. I was your only customer. It wasn't an oversight. I had a roast beef and cheddar sandwich with grilled onions and horseradish for $5. It was surprisingly good. But, now I don't want you to succeed and won't come back. Customers want to be in partnership with those whom they choose to do business with. That's more important than the good or service offered. Don't treat them as disposable or they will be.

Scoops and Spokes - Say that five times fast. It's a bike rental and ice cream shop on Sanford. They said they have been open for two months. I had a banana split cone for $1.25. That's around half or a third of what most place charge, right? It's a simple business that addresses two needs. I think the bike rental prices were very reasonable too. They didn't have change so the real price became $1. I'll remember that. In exactly the opposite way I remember Celery.

I have to say that something I had at one of these places made me feel woozy.

Grub Crawl - Sanford: Rabbitfoot Records, Moon's Subs and Donuts 2 Go

I went to these places on Tuesday afternoon. The first is on the main street through town. The second is a block and a half up after you turn right. The last is near the hospital on 46 on the way out of town. None of these were on the original agenda.

Rabbitfoot Records - I had an iced tea for under $2. It was fine. They mainly serve liquid refreshment and some pastries. They sell records. At least they were open. They branched out here from Titusville.

Moon's Subs - I ordered a two piece (breast/wing) fried chicken platter to go from this decrepit deli. It cost $6.59. It took a while to cook. That is either good if you don't want warmed up chicken that has been sitting in a 85 degree store all day or bad if you don't want to sit in a 85 degree store all day. It was overcooked. Judging by the look of the place, I was glad that they killed off as much bacteria as possible. Also glad it didn't taste like fish (they have it on the menu and sometimes people don't segregate the fryers). It came with fries. They were about half crisp and half underdone. They also tossed in some lettuce and tomato and white bread for some reason. I guess their customers make sandwiches. The place is familiar to anyone who has lived in a major city. A Korean grocery store cum greasy spoon. The owners here have suffered in this neighborhood for 22 years (place has existed for 32). They (couple) serve up fried items and burgers and sandwiches to the lowest rung of society. I'm sure it's a thankless ordeal that makes one wonder how bad their circumstances were before they arrived here. They have to have a sign that says "no food stamps". I would have normally told you to avoid this place. It's not a place that you recommend. However, I feel sorry for this couple and the food wasn't awful. And once again, at least they were open when most of the competition was not. I have passed by here numerous times and couldn't do it to myself. The new street improvements made it a tad less scary. And did I mention that almost everything else was closed?

Donuts 2 Go - I had a square, glazed donut and a maple bacon "log shaped" donut. Both were under $1. They were both excellent. The square one was huge. Both were fresh. They also serve breakfast and lunch items at reasonable prices. They have tables. It's in a strip mall. They have been open for three years. I may have been here before. I'll go back again.

Grub Crawl - West Colonial: Taipei Kitchen and Brazilian Village Pizza

I had lunch at these two restaurants on West Colonial in Chinatown on Monday.

Taipei Kitchen - I had to ask for the Taiwan menu. They handed me a generic Chinese lunch special flyer. I had Spiced Dried Bean Curd for $6 and Mustard Greens and Pork Noodle Soup for $8. The curd was a first and was a square of dried soy cut into thin slices. It came in some kind of mirin/soy dressing. Of course the soy had no flavor, but, it wasn't a huge miss either. The soup was good. The noodles were very buttery. The pork was not gristly. The place was clean. I believe the just opened a month or so ago. The have a fort on the left that seems to be where they keep the daily special stuff. It seats about forty. It was almost full. I was the only non-Asian. I think there were a few actual Taiwanese there. It's getting harder to tell with every generation that passes. Definitely Chinese if not Taiwanese. It may have fewer Taiwanese dishes than Taipei 101, but, they may just have more specials or I can't remember accurately. Communication was a slight barrier so service became a little timid/evasive. They didn't know if the take AMEX or not (it's only one of three). I also suggest you order a soda by the can ($1) or they will take liberties and give you the twice as expensive fountain and not refill. Still it's in the top three for this genre (only three in Orlando).

Brazilian Village Pizza - This place is a few doors down. I had one slice for $2. If this is a Brazilian style pizza place, then Brazilian pizza is foccaccia like. The dough seemed to have butter in it. The slice was about twice as thick as you want it to be. It also had a lot of air pockets (didn't pound out the CO2 after it rose) and was over floured (maybe when stretching). The sauce was spicy. The cheese was gluey. They have 44 styles of pizza. They have subs, past and wraps. The prices are low. I just read the menu and they say they serve NY Style. That must be the bad NY Style and not the good. It was better when I thought it was a Brazilian quirk.

Grub Crawl - DeLand: Shady Oak and Fresh Off The Hook

I had dinner at these two restaurants (that are technically in DeLand, but, are almost in Lake County) on Sunday on my way home from The Carolinas. You have to drive out on 46 (4-5 miles) until you hit the St John's River. They are on either side of the bridge on the eastern side. There is a sign that you can see for Fresh Off The Hook. I'd take 1-4 to 44 if I was coming from Orlando.

Shady Oak - I found out about this place from an expose they did in the Sentinel a month ago. They called it a Fish Camp. It's a tiny shack on the river with an exposed patio. I tried to eat out there and the mosquitoes became intolerable once the sun went down. I had a fish called Ponga grilled with what supposed to be one side of potato salad, but, became french fries, cole slaw and hush puppies. It cost $7. The fish seemed more sauteed than grilled. It was tasty nevertheless. I googled the fish and it seems to be an acceptable breed. The fries were coated in a batter. It was thin enough not be an issue. The fries were crisp. The hush puppies were fresh and good. The cole slaw was sweet. The place seats about forty. Service (1) was fine. It's the sort of crowd where women wear ball caps and jeans and tube tops. I think that is called the nineties. The guy at the table next to me took OFF his shirt to try and frustrate the mosquitoes. There is a great view of the river from there. Better than the the Hook's. It's not a bad way to enjoy an early evening watching the boats pass by.

Fresh Off The Hook - This place is pricier than Shady. It has a greater variety of plate options. I had some fried clams ($8) because of the price inflation and the fact that they ran out of catfish fillets (still had whole ones). They were fine. It was dark when I went there (closes at 9 pm) so I'm not sure exactly what the view is like. It's in a marina and maybe the less attractive side of the bridge, so, I speculate that the view is worse. I could be way wrong. It seats around fifty in a wood enclosure. It's a little larger and more enclosed than the competition. Service was good. There were less people here than at Shady.

There was also a place before these two called CJ's (I think) Lobster Pot.

Red Roof Cafe, Orange City

I had lunch at this restaurant inside the Heritage Inn on 17-92 on Tuesday. I had chicken fried steak with two sides (potato salad and mac and cheese) for $9.  It was good. The steak was well fried and tender. It came with a white gravy. The potato salad was good. The mac and cheese was a little bland (needed more cheese). The service was good. The place seats about forty. There were around ten people there at lunch. The place is a little drab. They have historically relevant photos and prints on the wall that depict the changes that have occurred locally and to the structure in particular. It's a nice change of pace. It's a bit of a learning experience mixed in with a meal. They have alot of daily changes and specials. The inn has a bar and a museum and rents rooms. They even have a website - www.1876heritageinn.com if you want to scout it out before hand.

Grub Crawl - Lake Mary: Chez Jacqueline and Lighthouse Seafood

I went to these spots on Friday afternoon. They are in an ancient strip mall across from City Hall (Country Club Dr and Lake Mary Blvd).

Chez Jacqueline - They have been open for four years and I've even driven past a few times. Their signage is so absent that I thought it was closed every time. I had a croissant with Swiss and ham for $4 and an apple crepe for $5. A soda was $1. The croissant was perfect and although the cheese could have stood a little more time in the reheater, it and the ham were fine. Not a very pungent Swiss. The crepe was large and bursting with fresh apple pieces. They laced it with a little cinnamon (asked first if I wanted it) and powdered sugar. The place serves mainly pastries and crepes. Some items may be out of stock. I think that is called being "seasonal" now. It's authentic. It seats ten on five two seaters. It's decorated like an old lady's sitting room. It was full (all ten) of ladies. Service was polite if a little slow. The owner seem to be the main employee. She is French (or speaks it). I'd certainly go back again.

Lighthouse Seafood - They are right next door to Jacqueline. I think they opened around the same time. I wasn't impressed on my first visit, but, I think their selection and curb appeal has increased since then. They also have poor signage. I think it just said "seafood". I wasn't really looking to get something, but, I felt intoxicated because the girl who served me at Chez Jacqueline knew (or pretended to know) who Jean Jacque Rousseau was. I had a choice really of poke or soup. I chose the poke although I feel about this like I feel about ceviche. Just give me the raw fish. You kind of always ruin it your way. This, however, was good. Sesame oil, scallions, white onion, sesame seeds, something with a kick and 25 dice sized chucks of fresh ahi. It made my thumb and little finger stick out, Howley. It cost $12. But, let's compare. A pound of their sushi grade (this stuff) ahi was $24. I think they said this was half a pound. so, you get the veg and oil and prep for free (if you don't discount that weight). It came with that seaweed salad you get at sushi bars. They called it limu (I think). Your average sushi at a supermarket would cost $7 for the rolls with a tenth of the fish and $10+ for a quarter. I'd go here if you want a sashimii-like experience. They didn't even try and pass off the tail (dental floss) pieces on me. I was pleasantly surprised and would go back again. I think they change up the specials, so, don't kill me if they don't have this dish when you go.

Grub Crawl - Winter Park: Pi Hole (Closed), B Cupcakes, Rome's Flavour's and Frenchy's (Closed)

I sampled these restaurants on Sunday afternoon.

Pi Hole - They took over a previous pizzeria location across from Keke's. This is a transplant of an operation that I ate in in Plymouth Mass. Their gimmick is a pre-grilled pie dough with a hole in the middle. If you buy pie, you get a bowl of "bites" in the middle. I'm sorry, but, $20 for a plain cheese pie is ridiculous even if it comes with junk. It's not particularly good pizza either. I had their lunch special - a soda and one slice for $4. That was reasonable. Usually it is two slices and a soda for $5 or $6, so this is good for bargain shoppers. The slice was almost two slices in size anyway. The dough was a little dry and flourish. I think they didn't add enough water when they mixed it. The cheese was a low quality blend of what I would guess would be non-traditional pizza cheeses. They have non-Italian fare like wings, waffle fries, mac and cheese bites, etc. They have Italian dishes like arancini (balls made out of day old rice) and meatballs. The place is small. It may seat 15. It's very red with a big mirror on one wall. Service was friendly.

B Cupcakes - They are across from Pita Pit near the 7-11. It seemed like every cupcake had the same white cream topping. I had a strawberry because strawberry shortcake is one of the only things I like a frosting like this on. It was ok. The cupcake seemed like a brown sugar/molasses type cake that you associate with carrot cake or zucchini bread. It seemed to be the cake for alot of the other cakes. I think they just add a piece of fruit or other topping to a generic cake and call that by the topping. It cost $3. It was a very moist (lots of sugar) cake. The other branch is in Apopka.

Rome's Flavour's - They just (1 month) opened next to the Qwa Qwa Shop (that's what my brother calls croissants) on E Morse (off Park). I had a cup of three balls of gelato. I had pineapple, mixed berry and strawberry for $5. All were top notch. The pine and mixed were really good. Real, big pieces of actual fruit. The scoops are smallish, but, pack alot of flavor. They also gave me a taste of a good gorgonzola and honey gelato. I originally thought I'd just walk out when I saw that read their menu and saw that a glass of gelato started at $8 and a pizza "paddle" was $9. However, they have a part of the paddle special and I think the gelato was as low as $3-ish for a small. They should clarify that printed menu. They also have bruschetta, panzanella and alot of "assortment" plates. I lived around the corner from the original Sant Ambroeus in NYC and I may like this gelato better. The place is chic and the owners are Roman, so with that and the quality of the gelato and the transitive property, I would extrapolate that the rest of the menu won't suck or be inauthentic. Give it a go.

Frenchy's - Sweet Traditions moved here (near Briarpatch) from Winter Garden and opened a bakery. They closed that down a few month ago and now have a fully functioning French bistro. I just had a Cinnamon Roll/Swirl ($2) that was a bit dry for something that looked like it was repurposed from the croissant dough, but, the menu seemed intriguing and reasonably priced. They do B,L,D. The chef is French. He uses at least one master chef's recipe (I won't out him). Kudos for being aware of him. They still have part of a pastry window. They seemed to have spent a little money on the redo. The most unfortunate thing is their name. It sounds like something a Florida born person might think that other people would think is funny. It's just low brow. Maybe that plays in WG, but, Park Ave expects panache. They will probably just think it's not an authentic or serious French experience. I have it on the "retry" list.

Yamas, I Drive - Closed

I just had a bowl of chicken soup at this Greek restaurant on Saturday night. It cost $5. It was a bit bland, but, ok. I believe the spot used to be a high end seafood place. However, the exterior looked Japanese. They really didn't do much to the inside. It hardly screams Greece. The inside is huge. The outside patio (on the strip) was the only area open. The played bad reggae and people smoked hookahs and there was a belly dancer. The bartender was friendly. The menu was largish. The prices were reasonable. It's in the right area for what they are putting out.

I forgot to add that I was at Downtown Disney before this and those liars would have you believe that Pleasure island is finished. It isn't. I think it has been ten years since they began. I think it has been two years since I last saw it and they only added one cheese ball restaurant in the mean time. They still have a horrible temporary walkway between the La Nouba part and the Rain Forest cafe part. And of course they can't resist trying to narrow those labyrinths by installing kiosks, etc to sell you crap. I don't know who is in charge of this project, but, they won't be getting any employee of the month awards. Traffic was also outrageous with other uncompleted projects dotting the property. Stay away.

Shake Shack, Winter Park

I just got some cheese fries at this gourmet fast food burger place from NYC on Saturday. They cost $4. I've been to three of their locations in NYC (years ago), so, I knew what I was in for. The fries were perfect crinkle cuts. The cheese dip was great. I had never tried anything other than their burgers before (similar to Burger Fi). That and a Subway BLT (I think) that I left in my car too long the day before that turned my insides into toxic waste that morning made me settle on the starch. They did a great job with the place. It overlooks a lake. It's not that much more than you pay for similar things at Wendy's. It was jammed, but, my stuff came out quick (another tip - non-burger stuff comes out quicker). Parking is next to impossible since it's in the same strip mall as Trader Joe's (17-92 near Hillstone). I know they have alot of franchises now, but, this is your only choice around here. Our local boys are just as good though. How much can you really do to a burger? We didn't really need them (or any gourmet burger play), but, I'm sure the NY connection will make them popular for a while.

Club Crawl - Downtown: Aku Aku, Vanity and Falcon Bar

I went to these place in Thornton Park and Downtown on Friday night.


9pm-10pm: Aku Aku - This Tiki Bar above Stardust (same owners) was in the Stardust in Vegas. Now they're both here. It looks good. It opened earlier this year. They serve tons of rums and all those cheezy drinks in those cheezy glasses. I had a Mai Tai for $9. It's a small spot and was mostly full. the staff was personnable.

10pm-12:30am: Vanity - This club across from the cigar bar is on the second level. It always had a line down the street earlier this year, so, I skipped it. No line tonight. It's a hip spot. the bartenders were hot. The club reminded me of a club in Hong Kong. It had a few white faces and alot of international ones. If I wasn't exhausted by a trip to the Keys, I would have had a great time. Drinks were $8.

12:30-1am: Falcon Bar - This place is diagonal from Grafitti Junction on East Washington in Thornton. It's a gallery that serves beer. It wasn't very crowded at that time of night.

*I also drove by a place called Brink that the bald guy from the Sentinel suggested. He forgot to mention that  it is a gay bar. It was on Amelia near the courthouse.

An Tobar, Maitland

I had dinner at this Irish Pub in the Sheraton on Friday. I'll start off by reminding you that I don't like hotel associated spots, Irish Pubs or $4 sodas. That said, it was ok. It's large. It has so many nooks that I have to guess it seats 100+. It looks like a pub knockoff. It's clean. The menu is barely Irish. Four things could be considered typical and two of those are English in origin. I settled on the only thing that was novel. It was a roasted chicken breast on a baguette with Swiss and creamed spinach inside. It cost $11. The chicken was perfectly cooked and large. The creamed spinach is inspired. I've never seen it before. It seems so obvious now, but, kudos for the creativity. It came with a salad or fries. The salad had what you would expect in a salad. It seemed to have been prepped earlier on and suffered because of that. Service was pretty good. They did do that thing where they bring you a refill after you have eaten your meal. The menu is priced to exploit it's hotel connection. It's a hodge podge. I'm not sure if they got lucky on my chicken, so, I can't comment on if they make the banal delicious. It doesn't seem like a "hot spot". I'd wager that it's geezers at happy hour. I went from hating it because of the menu to liking it because of the chicken to being aggravated with it for making my last memory a $4 soda. The wine list can be found at Winn Dixie. The beer list had like three Irish beers. Not a destination spot.

Smokey Joe's, Sanford - Closed

I had a brisket sandwich to go at this barbeque restaurant on Rinehart Rd (across from the Mercedes dealership) today. It cost $9. The meat was dry, tough and flavorless. There was no bark. I think they pre-cut (not on the diagonal) the meat and keep it in a broth bath. This "short cut" ends up giving the beef the characteristics of boiled beef. They said they smoke it all night long. Let's hope that this (bath) is the reason for the sub-standard product and they discontinue the process. It's not like there was a lunch rush. I also think they use the lean side of the brisket. My cuts were very lean. Just some nodules and spines of hard fat on the exterior. It came with a sweet barbeque sauce that seemed store bought. I didn't eat the buttered bun, but, it looked ok. They offer pork, chicken and burgers. They couldn't identify which region their barbeque represents. They have fried tenders and wings and potatoes. The side selection is basic. They opened up a few days ago. They did hardly anything to the interior (Boston Fish House). They added some collages of found art/junk. It's a self service sort of place. They seem nice enough, but, I just smell failure in the air. Maybe it's the fact that it took them months to open their doors and they didn't really have to do anything. Forget to get some permits/inspections? I just smell first time, non-experienced owners that will not have prepared properly for the challenges of owning a restaurant. The food will also have to improve. Right now it's as bad as Woody's and nowhere close to 4 Rivers. As I recommended in my review of the aforementioned, drive the extra exit to 4 Rivers. These pretenders aren't even cheaper.

B & B Caribbean Restaurant, Altamonte Springs

I had a few appetizers to go from this Caribbean restaurant on 436 in between Ronald Reagan and 17-92 on Wednesday. They were cheap, mostly good and came out quick. I had a Jamaican Beef Patty that could have been frozen packaged. It was $1.75. I had Phoulori (10) for $1.25. They were fritters made out of a fine corn meal. They were fresh and not greasy. I think they call this Festival in Jamaica. I don't remember having it in Trinidad. I also had a Doubles for $1.79. It was a chick pea pancake "sandwich" with a curried chick pea puree inside. It was a bit greasy and over spiced, but, it was good. I didn't have this in Trinidad either. The owners are Trinidadian and Dominican (not DR). The menu seem a little more West Indian (Indian) as a result. That's fine by me. Give me your roti, curries, King Fish (Mackerel family) and other fish dishes. I was looking for a Bake 'n' Shark. They also have jerks, stews and other sister island dishes (no ackee). They have Caribbean sodas and a daily lunch special for $4. It was stew red beans which I think is a stew with red beans in it nor just red bean stew. The place was a little bare. I can't recall seeing alot of tables. It's closed on Monday. It was clean. There was one waitress (the daughter) and the mother was cooking the food. It's where an old Jewish restaurant was. There are not many West Indian (if any) on this side of CF. This may be your go to if you want to try it. They have been there for a while.

El Balicon Latino Buffet, Winter Park

I had lunch at this Latin (Puerto Rican) buffet on 436 on Wednesday. It's where an Asian buffet used to be. It's near a Hertz car dealership. The buffet cost $10. They have been open for a month. They had: one station of rices, one station of meat - mostly roasted chicken and some beef (maybe ribs), one station of raw vegetables/salad, one station of desserts, one station of fried junk/sides and one station of soups/menudos and other things. I didn't think there would be enough variety to support a buffet, but, the more I think of it the more it makes sense. Although not healthy, it's not much worse for you than Chinese food. They appeal to the same type of customer (I did see more white working men with what I guess is their staff). The Latin market segment is growing. It's cheap to make. In fact, I'm going to go out on a limb and predict that years in the future Latin buffets will be what brings the communities together. I'm not joking. I'm not sure that they will get the credit, but, they will replace Asian buffets and soften up America's under belly by infusing Latin culture right into the arteries of modern America. You know a way to a man's (woman's) heart? The food quality was ok. The roasted chicken was really the only thing done well (here and generally). I had some bad meatballs and some dinosaur shaped chicken fingers. I had a fish stick that I thought was a mozzarella stick. I had a maduro, a fried yucca stick, a fried calm and some dry pound cake. If I had anything else it was that forgettable. Like most Latin food, the desserts were terrible, the vegetables were an after thought and the beef was a low quality cut and overcooked. I would stick to the things they can't ruin or you can't tell if they are ruined like the yucca, maduro, menudo and the chicken is always good. The inside is the same except that they have some rustic murals now. They moved the two big billboard frames to the front in what appears to be a stage. It's not as bad as I was expecting and I wouldn't mind if all Asian buffets changed into Latin buffets. It's basically oily rice and chicken either way.

Tuk Tuk Food Truck

They were having some food truck event down the street from Wekiva Island when I left on Saturday. I had an order of samosa looking puffs for $6 (for two). It's a Thai truck. I have never seen a Thai puff. They said it was authentic. They were ok.

Wekiva Island, Longwood

I went to this bar/park on Saturday afternoon based on an article by the bald guy at the Sentinel. He wrote it a couple of weeks back. I thought it would be the usual let down. It wasn't. It was pretty great. Now you have to lower your expectations to a point where you expect to have to deal with the great unwashed at one of their alligator farms. There is some of that, but, it's better. You have to take (I think it's Wekiva Springs Rd) the road that connects 434 to 436. The one with Wekiva Springs Park on it. It's right near there. It's on Miami Springs Rd (near the shopping center). You drive a couple of hundred yards down at you hit a dead end. If there is room in the parking lot (they had a sign that said the lot was full, but, it wasn't) you make a right.

They charge a whole dollar to enter (zero for parking). You get a spot on the river where they; rent canoes, paddle boards and kayaks, offer "cabanas" (tented area), free chairs, volleyball, fishing, a food truck and three bars. I had a pulled pork and brisket sandwich from the truck for $9. The brisket was bad. The rest was ok. They had some covered picnic tables to eat your food at.

My first order at the bar (had a hangover and don't usually like to drink in the afternoon) was a Diet Coke. They only charged $1! Same for bottled water. I drank that and then looked around. It was a very representative crowd. I think that women were required to have tattoos. Still, not unexpected for Florida. I didn't bring sunscreen and I had underwear on under my swim suit, so, I decided I would have one drink and leave. I had an artisan beer that was only $3.50. I drank that. I engaged in some chit chat and decided that my party night was now going to be a party day. Subdued party day. There were cops around.

I went back the car and got my towel and changed in the bathroom (they need a changing room) and had one more beer and watched some TV. I then jumped in and out of the muddy river whenever I got hot. It wasn't French Polynesia, but, it was water. For a non-native, the river flora is still charming. The weather was perfect. Canoes, etc glided down the river in a perpetual people parade. The attendees were mostly well behaved and friendly. It was a great afternoon. Like a day at summer camp. I would have liked some lockers so I didn't have to watch my bag. When I felt my non-lotioned skin purpling, I grabbed another beer or two at the bar and made some more chit chat. They gave me one free because of a mis-communication. It was less crowded at six-ish. The crowd became a little older around then. Then night started to fall so I quit while I was ahead.

I heard that they just rebuilt the structures after a fire. They have a building that was closed for a private event that I think they said was the nicest area. The area I was in was really nice. It's all brand new. It has that "bric a brac on the walls" decor. The structures are wood. It's open, but, they have serious fans. You won't feel the heat. They had more than enough bar tenders. They were always attentive and friendly. They have a really nice, enclosed wine bar connected to the "tiki" bar.

I know you are skeptical, but, I'm telling you that it's nice. They told me that they get a crowd around 10pm although they close at 11pm. They are open every day. I'm going back at night and probably anytime I don't feel like driving to the beach. I suggest you do so too. It's easy breezy. You can bring your own gear too. You can even drop a boat in the water. Canoes, etc were only $10 for the whole day.