Grub Crawl - East Colonial: Unigirl, Kai Kai and Pho Bar

I tried these spots on East Colonial near Mills today at lunch. Everything to go. I came here after plan a was scuttled by PF Kitchen on Conroy having (apparently) already shit the bed. Then I didn't want to wait through the traffic at Mall at Milenia for the second half of that plan (Rosetta Bakery). The first two of these places are in the Mills Market. It was (still half way is) a grubby little grocery store that Banh Mi Boy (still there) semi-classed up. Now it has these two stalls, plus a $10 small or $15 medium snow cone stall (Saigon Snow) and Cowboy Curry (not yet present). The last spot in the new build aside that. On the corner closer to I-4. All were disappointing to downright bad.

UniGirl - Opened six months ago (per them). Onigiri (sushi triangles). I had a shrimp and wasabi for $5.50. Other than annoying me because I'm going to have unlimited sushi, etc tomorrow for $12, it was almost ok. Rice, shrimp and seaweed were ok. Fresh. But, it seemed like the maker had dug their hands into a pile of rotten fish before they molded this giri. They had around eight flavors. Pre-made. Just the shared seating. 

Kai Kai BBQ & Dumplings - Open for a year (these times seem inaccurate). Hanging ducks behind glass. I had the cheapest thing because they were taking way too long. 1/4 chicken in soy sauce (because they didn't have the honey bbq). Bland, boiled, mushy chicken. Getting this after I ordered also took way too long. They have a dim sum (dumplings, bai, etc) section that starts at $7. Rice boxes ($10-$17). Entrees ($12-$16) like fried rice and lo mein. And pork, duck, chicken by the pound. I still value steamed dumplings at $5 max. Not $8. They also charge an extra $5! to switch from white rice to fried rice on a platter. Why? Is rancid oil that costly? Shared seating. Disorganized.

Pho Bar - Saving the worst for last. Opened last week. I really think I'm over Vietnamese food. I used to think the French angle gave it a bit of lustre. It's just so boring/rustic. Consumme and a pate sandwich are really all it's good for or at. Disgusting noodles of rice. Sinewy carcasses. Rubber balls. Blech. Stupidly, I ordered the most expensive option. The Bun Cha Ha Noi. Some platter of meatballs and pork pieces that Obambi had with Anthony Bourdain on some trip to Ha Noi in 2016. My love for AB and the fact that they called this a Northern Vietnamese dish (rarer) were the only reasons I chose this. And that the rest of the menu is basically pho ($14-$20) and I'm sick of paying for gross noodles, offal and boullion. The (2) meatballs were large (raquetball size) and bland. Probably wouldn't bounce. The pork was ok for the grizzle you sometimes get. Sweet, soy based glaze. Pathetic bed of lettuce and sticky vermicelli that I saw some guy tearing with his dirty hands. There was a sour (unsatisfying) carrot and (unripe) papaya "dressing" that I doesn't really pair well with pork. And certainly not glazed pork. They also tossed in two probably store bought, frozen, liver tasting egg rolls that I'll bet were nuked. It was pretty full. 75% Asian. Around sixteen tables of between 2 and  seats. Mural on the left side wall. Glass on the front and right. Open kitchen in the rear. Graish brown color scheme. One big, communal table in front. Modern. Uniformed staff. I'm not sure IF this platter can be made good. By any Vietnamese. Their recipes and ingredients are just bad. I've had enough exposure. This whole cuisine needs a savior. Maybe one will be born unto us on Wednesday if we are lucky. Parking in the rear. Now excuse me. I, literally, have to get this bad taste out of my mouth. Although, I literally didn't need to say literally if that was the case.

*I think Chuan Lu across the street has shuttered.