Tang's, Sand Lake

On Saturday I had dinner at Tang's restaurant on Dr. Phillips. I had the Red Curry Chicken for $14. It was unlike any Thai dish I've had before. An uncut, grilled chicken breast was placed atop length-wise sections of carrot, squash and zucchini in a pool of red curry. It was decorated with strings of carrot and an orchid. The waiter came by with jasmine and curry rice and portioned out contents in a separate ritual. The meal was excellent. Extremely tasty! The service was great. Every member of the staff (including owners) aided in the task. They showed great care in my satisfaction. They were stylishly dressed and reverent. The waiter even went as far as to replace the orchid on my plate before serving because it had moved slightly on its way from the kitchen. The restaurant itself had the requisite Thai decollatage. But, they added elements that made it thoroughly modern. They even had booths (which struck me as funy because I just saw a Chris Rock special in which he observed that girls always want a booth. They were indeed peopled with women). The wine list was great. Not the usual best sellers and distributor influenced dreck. Someone has taken this upon themselves. The place was immaculate. I was given a good seat. Everyone dining (aside from one table of yokels) was dressed well. The place was about half full, but getting fuller as the night went on. They had alot of courses that you won't find on a traditional Thai menu. All improvements in conception. Parking was easily found across from the entrance. An unbelievable surprise. I can't understand how anyone wastes their time with greasy Chinese take-out when you can do Thai or Vietnamese. It's so cheap. I order you to realign your sensibilities. Thai is the new (always was) Chinese.

Spice Modern Steakhouse, Downtown (Closed)

On Wednesday I had lunch at Spice Steakhouse Downtown on Lake Eola. I had the cheddar burger with fries for $9. The burger was plump and pefectly cooked at medium rare. The chef even refrained from leaning on the spatula in the false hope that it would cook faster, therefore, it was moist. Good job. The burger came on a rectangular piece of with china in what is referred to as a deconstructed state. It was appointed with a fresh slice of tomato, onions and lettuce. Catsup and mustard were provided in steel tins. The bun was large, artisinal and fresh. The cheese was well melted. The french fries were mostly crispy (I still don't get how some fries can fry limply). The service was excellent. Even the hostess didn't ruin the experience with an insulting table placement. The place is styled in a modern deco motif. Very clean and enervating (in a pleasant way). The space is broken up by booths, etc so that most have a private area. They have an outdoor patio that overlooks the lake and two bars. The space was very clean. I can suggest no improvements. You can even find free parking on the street.

Tuscany's, Winter Springs

On Saturday night I went to this Italian eatery on Winter Springs Rd. I had the special for $14.95. The special was four cutlets of chicken covered in ham, mushrooms, provolone, goat cheese and a sherry reduction (I thought the waitress said Cherry. Now that would have been creative). It came with a generous bowl of angel hair on the side. It was not overcooked. The main dish was enormous. I walked out like a pregnant Buddha. It's hard to complain when they serve you so much that you wonder what their margins are, however, I must disclose that it was a bit rich at these levels. I must have received two ice cream scoops of goat cheese. That said, it's better than the alternative and I could have pushed away the plate at any time. The entree came with a Caesar Salad (a little pasty) and warm bread. Did I mention that I think I ordered the most expensive dish? The prices here are great. Most pasta entrees were under 10$. I saw mammoth sandwiches coming out of the kitchen. The owner was gregarious and seemed to have a lot of regulars. They had 4 or 5 waitresses for about 15 tables. The service was prompt and communicative (although another victim of the correct pronounciation of the dish - chicken francese). The decor is bad. Plastic vines, grapes and plants. The place was a little loud. A drunken party with kids and low ceilings combined to assault my temples. The owner was overhead discussing expansion plans. I'm not sure if that will close them down so call before you go. The one negative was the small selection of appetizers and their cost. They are almost as much as the entrees. But, who needs two courses when one is more than enough here. Don't ever think Carrabba's or Macaroni Grill if you live anywhere near here. I curse you if you do. But if you do, you are probably already cursed with a small brain. You know how I feel about most mid-level Italian restaurants. This place is the antithesis. Even the liquor was below the usual mark up.

Takeyama, Oveido

On Tuesday I stopped by this little sushi restaurant at the end of Red Bug Lake Rd and Lockwood. I had the sushi lunch for $8.95. It was a tempura roll and 4 pieces of sushi (Red Snapper, Tuna, Salmon, White Tuna). The roll was penuriously filled with CC and tuna. Fried kind of defeats the purpose of raw food. The other sushi was adequate. The place seats about 40 in a narrow setting. There is one big mural. The rest of the place is sparsely decorated. There were two other customers dining at the time. The service was prompt (it would have to be wouldn't it) from the solitary server. They didn't take AMEX.

Numero Uno, Orlando

Today I had lunch at Numero Uno on S. Orange (south of the city and before Kaley). It's a 30 year old Cuban restaurant. I had the Asopado de Camarones for $12. It was a stew like dish with rice, shrimp in a tomato/beef stock broth. It reminded me of a wet risotto. It came with fried plantains and a garlic/vinegar dipping sauce on the side. The asopado was tasty. The shrimp were fresh 24's. There were six of them. The portion was large. It came in a cute wooden bowl. It could have used a little more chopped fresh onion for texture and taste (in the summer fresh vegetables would probably give it more life). It was very savory. The plantains (4) were not too oily and weren't essential to the dish.

The place seats about 40 and was packed. Nevertheless, I was energetically ushered into a table for 4 in the middle of the restaurant without complaint or flippancy. The food did take a little longer to come out than the waitresses seemed to care for. I thought it was fast, but, they must really keep the kitchen on its toes. All the waitresses were friendly and had each others back. The ball was not going to dropped at this service (at any table). They were constantly delivering updates or inquiring as to my well being. An additional bonus. You have to go to see a true vision of the feminine form. It seemed like many of the men were there to do just that. The Ford Modeling Agency should send a scout. The place is lacking in decor and parking, but, the experience was great. They had many cheap sandwiches and lunch specials. The bread was a little boring and the silverware a little worn, but, it deserves its fine reputation. They were quick, timely and proactive with refills and accepted Amex. The place drew all kinds. No one should feel as though they wouldn't be accepted.

Paxia, College Park - Closed

I had lunch at this Mexican restaurant in College Park on Wednesday. I had the Chicken Soup and the Enchiladas Lunch. The soup was a tomato based broth with vegetables and shredded chicken. It came in a tiny cup (the same one they use for salsa) but was mostly chicken. It was only $3. The enchiladas (2) were full of chicken and covered in melted cheese. It came with beans (black or refried) and rice. It was $7. They seem to be trying for a nuevo-Mexican feel. The place is hipsterish and the prices reflect that sensibility. I ordered off the lunch menu. Most of their entrees are in the mid-teens. Appetizers can reach near double digits. I wouldn't flinch at those prices if the experience was vastly superior. However, the place looks hastily constructed (bad caulking and paint). It's not terribly clean for a new place (the ceiling already looks worn and the floors were dirty). There is a bar and a lounge on the right. The place is done in burnt oranges and muted reds. The floor is black. There are walls that break up the dining area into two sections. The service (2) was good. The chips were not greasy and plentiful. They were served in a funky cone. The salsa was mild. Still don't get how you are ok giving what is basically an appetizer away for free yet go on to expect one to order say a $9 tostada. Why would one do that? But, I'm not complaining.

I would advise them to sweat the details. It's so easy to go from upscale to average if you aren't meticulous. The food was good. The outside was good. But, if you want to charge big boy prices for peasant food, make sure I'm eating it in a fastidious setting. Get a toothbrush and start scrubbing. You want to be better than Don Pablo's, right? The place has to be the draw if you serve this food at those prices. It's tortillas and cheap cuts chicken and beef for christ sake.

Oh Que Bueno, Orlando

I had lunch at this Columbian restaurant past 50 on 435 last Monday on my way to the airport. I had Carne Asada y Arepa con Queso for $9.95. The flank steak was not overcooked, tough or dry. The arepa was crunchy. Eating it all together was the way to go. It actually felt like more of a breakfast than a lunch. The place must be a reconfigured bar. They still retain an enclosed bar up front and an open patio out back. The decor is sparse. It was about half full (30). The service was quick and polite. The place was clean. They took AMEX.

Wilfredo's, Orlando - Closed

I had lunch at this sh-Italian restaurant on N. Orange on Monday. It was one step forward two steps back the whole meal. $9.95 for anything off the dinner menu - forward. Dingy little place and waiter who tried to seat me in between a bar and a storage closet - two back. Waiter who was perceptive enough to gauge my unhappiness with his evaluation of my seat worthiness by non-verbal cues - forward. Bringing me chicken instead of veal and boring salad - two back. Nice portion of cutlets - forward. Taste of egg wash and limp and congealed sauce - two back. Free (I think. I didn't have it.) garlic or regular bread - forward. $2.50 soda and not refilled - two back. You get the drift. The place is cramped. Everyone is sitting on top of each other in what looks like a Italian grand mother's tea room. The veal (chicken) francese was three pieces. I think the generosity was based on it's expiration date rather than largesse. I smelled funk on the ends of some of the pieces. The egg wash was misapplied so I experienced the pleasure of fried egg on some of the pieces. The sauce was cold. It reminded me of an association dinner. I wouldn't be surprised if the cutlets were cooked the night before. I can tell because the capers didn't have enough time to soften in the sauce. I almost forgot. It came with limp rigatoni in a tomato sauce. Mmmm. Just what compliments Francese - tomato sauce. It was just thrown in because they didn't want to prepare another dish to go with it. I think some of the problem stems from the owner. She isn't Italian (not that that usually matters anyway). She is Asian. And as such has the Asian penchant for thrift (see who waits for the choicest cuts to be purchased before weighing in at a meat or seafood market). This translates into poor ingredients, assembly line production and poor understanding of the types of cuisine they are trying to recreate. It's like Mexican Chinese food. They just don't get it right. I can't imagine how infuriated I would have been if I had paid full fare. And get some damn field greens or arugula for that salad. It comes in packages in the supermarket! Iceberg lettuce is for pets.

Club Crawl - Winter Park - Eden, Red Fox, Wine Room

9-9:30pm: Eden. I had a beer at Eden. It's an outdoor bar next to the Enzian theater where the restaurant (burned down - who knew) used to be. It's now owned by some Austrian royal couple. They should show up. It would have doubled the occupancy. They have some cool beers and really old and expensive bottles of liquor and wine ($125 a shot). I just can't imagine it being tolerable past this time of year. Too hot.

9:30-9:35pm: Red Fox Lounge. Horrid singing. Tiny venue. Weird collection of geezers and hypsters. Served some well whisky in a Maker's Mark bottle. Had too see it for myself. Now I know what the here after holds for me. I'll be in the front row next to Hitler!

9:35pm-1am: Wine Room. Full. Rollins students and their parents. How many times can you play Lady GaGa and Flo rida? Double check those tabs. 1 drink will become 2. 3oz will become 5oz.

Seoul Gardens, Winter Park

I had dinner at this Korean restaurant across from where Melting Pot used to be on Friday night. I had a stew/soup with beef broth, rice cakes, clear noodles, egg and beef dumplings for $11.99. It came with 8 of those appetizer cups (fish cake, bean sprouts, kim chi, potatoes, dried beans, etc). I found it tasty. And I think I finally accepted the cavalcade of flavors argument. These things really work against each other. However, I think if your stomach is strong enough to jump from spicy to sour to sweet to whatever and back it can give you quite a satiating ride. It's like a game. Oh, that tastes like crap. What should I do to cover the taste? The place is in what must have been a French restaurant a one time because the decor remains. The place is large (60 people). However only 5 others were dining with me. They also only had one waitress. It was clean. The tableware was clean (had to mess up chopsticks and a spoon). There was no language barrier.

Punjab Palace, Winter Springs

I had lunch at this Northern Indian restaurant in Winter Springs on Friday (a slovenly strip mall on 434). I had the lunch special for $6.99! Again. I curse you - assembly line fast food enterprises and you mid-quality slop dispensers. It came with a green lentil, butter soup, rice, naan, rice pudding and choice of about 10 entrees. I had the butter chicken. It was like a tikka masala except extra creamy. It was very good, It had about seven sqaures of chicken breast. You can have it mild, medium or spicy. The soup was very rich. It came in a cup. Very nice. The naan was a little more crisp on the bottom than I've had before. But as I am not an Indian cuisine expert, I will just leave it at that. The rice was fine (maybe a tad over cooked and stirred - shredded skins). The rice pudding (I usually refuse dessert) was sweet and a little more cottage cheesy than a european rice pudding. The one criticism of the food would probably be the penurious serving of unrefilled soda at $2. The place is small (probably 20 seats). It has a strange orangeish colored interior and just a few Indian posters and some faux silk vines. It was clean. The service (1) was conscentious. They have a large dinner menu. On the downside I think I gained 5 pounds (there's a reason you don't see many skinny Indian women). The best secret about this place is that it is owned by the family that runs Punjab on I-Drive. Please try and find this place as the door knobs on the town's council has forbidden them from erected signage that would ultimately attract business. It must be because it's in such a great part of town that said signage would offend the aesthetic sensibilities of the inhabitants.

Mi Cafetal, Altamonte Springs

I had lunch at this Dominican restaurant in Altamonte Springs (436 and 434 near Pilin Thai) on Thursday. I had the house special for a ridiculously low $4.99 (now granted it's probably undeclared but how is it Subway, etc that you can't do a lunch for under $8?). Thursday's special was either Ropa Vieja (shredded beef) or Chicken Stew with rice, salad and a soup! Did I say it was $4.99? The soup was a chicken stock with beans (lots). It was savory. The beef was not overcooked. The rice did have a metallic taste that I've experienced in a few Latin kitchens (not sure of the cause). The salad was a little unimaginative (part of a head of Iceberg cut in large juliannes and topped with a tomato. I'm not sure if it was dressed but if it was it was light. It wasn't like I had room for it anyway because I had to go sampling an empanada for $2.50 that I thought came with salt cod and crab, but that I am now thinking was cod or crab. I had the cod. It was fresh, non greasy and ok. The service was attentive (not much of a language barrier). Although it was service singular not plural. It may get backed up if there is more than the 3 that were there on Thursday. The only criticism (other than not taking Amex) was the loud island music. It's a little much when you have to shout your order to the waitress. This is a restaurant not a nightclub (especially at noon). The place is small (probably seats 25). It is aethetically challenged. But, if your looking for variety and value this is a great place. They do ambitious and varied specials every day (I'm talking pigs feet people)! The regular menu is quite large (I don't know how the poor cook keeps up with the demands). And how often do you do Dominican. I mean "come on". You know you want to.

Patio Grill, Sanford

I had lunch at this American eatery today. It's just past 417 on 17-92. I had a "corned beef" sandwich for $7. I inserted the quotation marks because this wasn't corned beef. It didn't even look or taste as good as the meat you get in those 33 cent packets from the supermarket. It looked like ham. It tasted like nothing. It came on the poorest excuse for rye bread that I have ever seen. It must have been white bread that they jammed rye seed into. The swiss cheese was as flacid as it was extraneous. The worst "corned beef" sandwich I have ever had. If they asked the most non-jewish person in the world to recreate a corned beef sandwich this would be it. I'm suprised it didn't come with mayo. Take this off the menu. It came with a large bowl of Shrimp Bisque. This was both a blessing and a curse. A blessing because the bisque was quite good. A curse because they put those little canned shrimp in it. Little shrimp? You couldn't even buy and expiring shrimp cocktail tray from Publix? Talk about cheap. And that's the problem with this place. They have no respect for the building blocks of acceptable cuisine - ingredients. It's a shame because I think they could have received a good review if they didn't dig themselves such a hole to begin with. I feel for that chef (unless of course he is buying the food). Aside from that, this place is a little cleaner than their 434 location. Although, it was decorated from the Buy Direct or Home Depot collection. The service was ok. Although, she did forget to run a couple of errands for me. The tableware was clean. It was fairly crowded with a Sanford crowd. I'm sure they love this place and eat here every day. I need a little more.

Rivership Romance, Sanford

On Wednesday I had lunch aboard this cruise ship for a little over $40 (with $7 coupon that basically negated the tax and port fee). They served some cheese, crudite and sweet rolls as appetizers (all you can stomach). We then had some time on deck. Then there was a typical salad with some sort of Italian vinagrette and rolls. The main course was cornflake and panko dusted Celery City Tilapia with roasted potatos and a medley of vegetables (yellow carrots again - is it a conspiracy?). All in all it was better than I expected (I'm rating it as a 20 dollar cruise with a 20 dollar meal). The fish was large and well cooked. Unfortunately, it was covered with too much of an unecessary mayonaise based sauce. The potatos were a little over buttered. The vegetable were ok for unsteamed. The served a brownie for dessert. The service was good. Although, I still don't know why they call everyone down from the upper decks if they're going to make you wait as they serve stewardess style. I hope they have more than two servers on the other cruises (we only had about a half full tour). Ice tea, coffee, or water are complementary. They have alcohol, beer and soda for a charge. You are offered a chicken or beef or vegetable or fish or pork entree. The two specials were fish and beef on the day I sailed.

The boat is a little seasoned. It has gold trim, red pleather booths, fake Tiffany lamps and a plentitude of mirrors. I would guess it seats 100. It's air conditioned and mostly enclosed. It was bigger and more enclosed than I thought (so don't worry about sailing in the heat or rain). The silverware and glasses were a little worn . The table mats and napkins were paper. Ask for the right side of the boat. It had the better view.

All in all this was a fun experience. I did the shortest tour (3 hours). You had to be at the dock by 10:30. We left at 11 and returned at 2. It's a cheap getaway and the food will be better than expected. It's not the Queen Mary but I think it's exactly what their demographic clamors for . It was mostly an older crowd and their young relations who boarded with me. Most were celebrating some kind of anniversary or birthday. They had an MC who furnished some good info (who new the St John's is black because of tannins from Cypress trees). We probably could have done without his karoake on the ride back. We saw alligators, snakes, manatees, birds and other flora and fauna on our ride. It may not live up to the expectations of some snobs, but, I found it a decent value and I ask the snobs of Central Florida to slum it for an afternoon or evening and I think they will be secretively satisfied. Where else can you get this experience locally? Unique(ness) is hard too find.

Club Crawl - Longwood : Liquid Scrips

Don't ask me how I wound up there. It's a psuedo-biker bar with go-go dancers and shot girls. There weren't many girls there, but, the drinks were cheap. It's in the spot on 17-92 where McGinty's used to be. I decided to leave early before I ended up in an apartment complex trying to keep it down so the baby wouldn't wake up.

Hugo Joe's, Oviedo

I had lunch at this restaurant on West Broadway on Friday. I had the French Dip because I didn't feel like carbs or grease. It was the special and it was $6.99. I was astounded by how much I liked it. All the ingredients were fresh. I was a little suprised to see melted cheese on top of the beef. But, it didn't ruin the sandwich. It came with mixed vegetables (my choice of side). Only the brocolli was over cooked. It had yellow carrots! Pretty atypical for such a place. The service was prompt (and cute). The decor was a little bar roomish. They had some interesting Swiss entrees and some seafood (oyster po boys!). I believe the spot used to be Frankies and more recently - Victorio's (that what the receipts still say). The crowd was very local.

Club Crawl - Brix (Closed) and Sky 60

9pm-12pm: Brix. Nothing new. OK crowd. They all left before 12. *They are no longer on Rewards Network.

12pm-1:30am: Sky 60. Pretty empty until 1am. I only stayed because while walking around Orange I saw that this night was a lost cause. I chose this spot because it had been a while and it's outside. I didn't want to waste one of the last cool nights we have left. The place reached it's usual quota of beaners early on. They love that Miami Beach linen cabana exterior. It became more mixed later on. I think there was a high school reunion of girls from Lakeland or Winter Haven going on. You can always spot the trailer park hair and clothes. It was uncomfortable to see the needy prom queen running around taking photos with everyone (even the dweebs who seemed uncomfortable to finally get an audience with the mean girls). Not that the girls were pretty. Just "Winter Haven pretty" I guess. The (1!) bar was a complete joke. It took over 20 minutes to get a drink when there were only about 20 people there. I didn't dare try once it went past 21. It's a sin that they can charge a cover for this place. But, I think it's the only incentive you have to stay so they must need it. My favorite patron was the aging Latina in knee high boots (have they been out so long that they're back in?) doing a tranced out, waving her arm behind her back like she was dispersing fart odor dance. She was doing the requisite left right dance that seems to be the only sanctioned move that her race allows. Tune into Univision or imagine some shitty trumpets playing a polka if you want to experience what I'm talking about. It makes the white man's overbite seem inventive in comparison.

Gargi's, Orlando

I had dinner at this Italian restaurant on Saturday. I had the Strachiatelle (sp) for $6. It's Italian Matzo Ball soup. It's chicken broth with noodles and lots of egg whites. It was very satisfying. I had Lasagna for $14 as an entree. While visually appealing (not cut from a pan), the pasta was way overcooked. It was pastey. I think it may have been re-warmed because it was overcooked without arriving hot on my plate. It was also bland. I don't think they spiced the dish at all. The meat was grey so I originally thought it was veal but, it might have been beef that had the blood boiled out of it from it's own juices during baking. The cheese was flavorless too. The service was polite. Although, it was subject to an unfortunate criticism that I'm having to assign more and more of these days - understaffing. There were only two waiters for the dinner service.

The place is on a lake and it was a beautiful setting for this time of year. It's on that lake in between Princeton and 50 on the good side of town (N.Orange). It serves about 30 tables. The place was about 1/2 full. The crowd was eclectic. Yokels, bourgeosie, gays, women who booze, and a some kind of youth church group were there on Saturday. The best story I overheard was a yokel lionizing the comedy and intelligence of Jeff Foxworthy. The gay couple next to him were forced to put down their cancer sticks for a second in order to savor the moment. The place is clean. The silverware is clean. The decor is an afterthought. I would recommend it for the view and hope that your muse just ordered the wrong thing on the wrong night.

That Deli, Lake Mary - Closed

I had lunch at this sandwich shop on Monday. I had a curried chicken salad sandwich on wheat with a side of mac and cheese and a DC for $9. The place has a hippie dippy feel. Lots of autographed photos of soft rock artists. The sandwich was fine. It came with alfalfa sprouts, onions, cucumbers and tomatos. They all were fresh. The mac and cheese needed salt. It's in the spot that was Nick's Pizza then some other sandwich shop. It has a counter that seats about 8 running perpendicular to the entrance and about 4 tables to the front of the shop. The staff is a bit cloying (but at least it's not a false enthusiasm like a "welcome to moe's). It is very clean. It's self serve.

Stone's Throw Bistro, Sanford - Closed

I had lunch at this restaurant where Da Vinci used to stand on Wednesday. I had a cheeseburger with home made chips and a beverage for $9. The burger was well cooked and came with field greens, gouda cheese and fried onions. The meat was sort of meat loafy (which we agreed was caused by the Worceister marinade). It wasn't bad or good - just different. It came in a large, fresh roll. The place has obviously not been washed since the days of the Pony Express (which is what one imagines when one enters this saloonish environ). The only decorative change is the local art pimped out on the walls. There is no underlying message with the decor. It's dark and eery. The service though extremely polite and working at full capacity, needs some attention. One person can not handle 30+ patrons. I waited almost an hour. Other tables had to ask for their meals to be wrapped up because their lunch hour had come and gone while waiting. Hopefully, they can add people as business picks up. It feels like friends and family now.

All in all this is a foodie place. The chef/owner obviously cares for nothing except the food. I would try his impromptu wild game nights if you can stomach the $60 entrance fee. They are probably good. They also have a nice selection of obscure micro brews. Let's hope they get enough patient devotees.