Grub Crawl - Winter Park and East Colonial: Joe & The Juice, Pop Up Bagels and Meng's Kitchen

I tried these spots on Tuesday at lunch. The first is in the Whole Foods strip mall at Lee Rd and N Orlando. The second is in the old Juice Co spot almost at the intersection of N Orlando and Fairbanks. The last is in an Asian market at the intersection of East Colonial and Bumby.

Joe & The Juice: I believe it is a British chain. Oops...Danish. I have ignored every trip there. Open a week. I enjoyed a Joe's Club Sandwich (chicken, avocado, tomato) for $13. The chicken was bag quality. The avocado probably not Haas. However, I loved the "bread". Almost like a thick cracker. They panini'd it. Tomato was very fresh. Some kind of spread. If it cost half as much then this place would be a Fav. The place was full of EWWs (Entitled White Women). I guess it is in their orbit (Whole Foods). It took a bit of time to get out of there. More casual than fast. They sell $11 juices amd $14 smoothies. Coffee starts that category at $4 for a small. They had "shots". Shakes starting around $10. Two sandwiches at $15 and four more at $13. Beachy decor. Gray. Seating. Order at a counter. Young demo. Plenty of parking.

Pop Up Bagels - Lack of parking and the traffic make it an ordeal. They START with a three bagel minimum. That comes with one shmear for $14. When I rolled me eyes, the kind hostess offered to comp a single bagel. I accepted. The outside was very good. Crisp with a ton of sesame seeds. Fresh out of the oven. Now I can't remember my 7th Grade Home Ec bagel experience, but, I don't think the inside should pull away from the outside so easily. I suspect that is a faux pas. Regardless, I submit that it is a good bagel. Better than H&H at a minimum. They said that they thought this is a NY enterprise. I don't think they had anything but bagels and cc. Some people there. Open for two weeks. I can't Fav a place that has a minimum buy in AND inconvenient location.

Meng's Kitchen - One sign denoted Thai. Another East Asian. I had a dish that I associate with Singapore (via China) - Hainese Chicken with rice and a broth. It cost $14. I'm not sure why (in general) it is so popular. It is basically boiled chicken. This was blander and tougher than others I've had. The rice and broth were good. They only had one curry and some soups that felt Thai. And maybe larb. They had a fried and druken Hainese. Katsu. Roasted pork and belly. A biryani. Around twenty dishes. Soups were $6. No seating. A stall to the left of the entrance. Open for four years. I never knew it was there. A few more visits may push over the line to a Fav.

*Driving around the last few days, I have seen that the following are still not open nor close (though Google may disagree): Olea, Krispy Rice, Little Sister Dumpling, Creo, Hayashi, Milkshake Factory, Naya, Nazca, N'gano, Gallo. I am also going to have to start beating the drum for mobile phone restrictions. The Big Brothering makes me uncomfortable, but, the amount of imbecility I see on the road because of them makes me think we have to do SOMTHING.

Grub Crawl - International Drive and Sea World Area: Baire's Grill, Mordisco and Unplugged

I tried these spots Friday at lunch. They all could be good, but, weren't on this day. The first is in the Hollywood Plaza at Sand Lake. Below Tom's Watch Bar and next to a Disney Store. Not their sister nightclub Corazon by Baire's. The second is in a strip mall at the I Drive-Central Florida Parkway intersection. The last is in the strip mall next to Icon Park (ferris wheel) on I Drive. In the rear where Sleuths Dinner Theater used to be.

Baire's Grill - Corazon by Baire's is to its' left. The signage isn't great here plus the parking lot is all coned off, so, it seems like it isn't open. Parking for dinner must be a clusterfuck. I just grabbed an empanada for $6 because I looked at the menu online and didn't want to spend big on Argentinian food. They had the empanadas at $14 and that was the low mark. The actual menu seemed a bit cheaper. They had a lame $39 lunch special. It is a diverse/large menu. The beef empanada can be fried or baked. The meat was a shredded/ground and a bit salty. Small. The place looks posh. A quartet of wine colored upholstered curved booths with a tree and glass ornaments above. A marbled bar to the right. The main, rectangular room has two rows of booths against the walls and around eight tabled in between. One table seated. Staff in unis. They seem to have eight locations in South Florida. One in NY and I think one in Argentina. I don't find that expensive South American restaurants ever deliver. I wasn't chancing it here. You can throw your money (South Americans seem to have more than they can use) at it and report back. Open for a few weeks.

Mordisco - If disco sucks then this is a fitting moniker. They say it actually means "bite". Another South Florida interloper. They say it is Venezuelan/Caribbean inspired. I learned here that the crappy lasagna I had at Tratto was probably Venezuelan because they had one and also called it pastitcho. Also don't use ricotta. See above for my thoughts on South American non-rustic endeavours. Stupidly, I veered from the planned $20 burger and tried the wood fired salmon asador for $25. Now, even with the more reasonable pricing compared to Baire's, it was a disaster. The salmon was the most overcooked I EVER had. The edges were jerky. I left them. The rest was so dry that I nearly choked with every bite. The side (I chose rice because the veg were peppers) did the impossible. Mushy in the middle and under cooked/hard on the tips. The cream sauce with crushed tostones was tasty. Add they weren't at all embarrassed when I called them out. Said the wood fire is hot. Maybe I needed to be less polite? The steak the guy next to me had looked small and of poor quality. His wife's chicken looked better. The menu is large. Apps, tiraditos/capaccios, salads, soups, mains, desserts. They had an unintriguing $35 lunch special. It's sad because after I ordered, I actually was thinking to myself that this would surely be a Fav. It looks good. Black, stained wood, concrete, gray. Square. Booths encircling a central bar area with more booths in between. A giant yellow tree in between the kitchen and the bar. Staff in unis. Almost full. TVs off. It should have been better. Maybe it can be. I didn't love that they impose a 18% gratuity/service charge (that you may not realize) and THEN ask for a tip. Low class verging on larcenous. Open for a few weeks. Parking wasn't great. I also didn't like the staff  assembling for the loud "flair restaurant" Happy Birthday/Feliz Compleanos celebrations. Not the height of sophistication. And what makes it sadder is that it isn't done for children. Just those, I guess, with the minds/maturity of one.

Unplugged Social Cafe - More than I expected. A huge, white and blue room (around forty tables) with a menu with pasta and sandwiches and salads and breakfasts, etc. Not just store bought pastry. Better than a Starbuck's. I had a Cobb salad to go because I didn't know what to select or what they might do well. I was expecting to cross this off the list with a donut. And I HAD been wanting a Cobb for days. Unfortunately, the salad wasn't really a Cobb. They ran out of eggs (although they subbed in chicken). The dressing was a fruity vinaigrette. Wrong cheese. The greens were field greens. The avocado wasn't Haas. And all this after the very nice owner regaled me with how he started this place with the ethos of superior ingredients at affordable prices. I do agree with the pricing. The salad cost $12. The sandwiches and pastas were around mid-teens. They had stem on artichokes. However, they were peeled. The leaves are half the experience in my opinion. Maybe the better half. Minimal decor. Stage in the corner. Patio. Seating area with fake fireplace. Bar. Wine tastings. Thoughtful options. Open 8am-8pm 7days a week. There is some twist with it being a church on Sunday. I was expecting to make this a Fav as I walked away. However, that salad was just too flawed. Still, it was better than I expected and maybe better than most Starbuck's level fans deserve. I totally see it (at a minimum) as a place for hotel refugees to enjoy their time between when the hotel kicks them out and when their flight leaves. They have good AC and wifi and maybe other food tha a Cobb salad.

*There were around twenty cop cars outside of Sea World. Don't recall seeing that before. And they almost have unfucked the Sand Lake Rd exit. Stop light synchronicity still seems beyond the mental capabilities of the public officials down here. Blue Man Group seems to be in a theater behind the ferris wheel. Some place called Eye something seems to have replaced the Egyptian place in the Unplugged strip mall. The more you know...

**Would you believe this piece of shit (with no pics or video) blog (mostly about Central Florida food) received 10k views yesterday? Probably bots. They get me. 

Travel Notes - Massachusetts New Hampshire Maine

Travel Notes - Massachusetts New Hampshire Maine: I flew to Boston on Delta for $11 and 30,000 points because prices were double last year and I am finally going to drain these stupid accounts while prices remain high. I just did that for the next trip too. And I turned my useless AA points into a gift card before they could try and take them away again. They finally rerouted the TSA lines on the Delta side. Now it works normally. I rented a car from Budget for $350. They gave me a Chevy Trax (I booked a Corolla) with only 2k miles. I drove A to 60 to 1N to Hampton Beach NH. I intended on staying in Glouster, but, the hotel rates were absurd. I stayed at the Breakers by the Sea (Expedia 8.0) for $97. I grabbed wine and things at Hannaford's and drank to the sunset. 

The next day I drove south a few miles on 1A to Seabrook. Had mussels and two Ipswich oysters (ordered one) for $16 and $2 at Markey's. I then went across the street and had a lobster bisque from Brown's Lobster Pound for $8 because they only took cash. I believe I saw these on Best Thing I Ever Ate. It is a Pat's and Geno's situation. Markey's was way better in my opinion. I drove back the way I came and stopped in Rye Harbor. I had the deal of the century at Rye Harbor Lobster (a shack outpost). $9 a pound (with 9% cooking charge) for STEAMED lobster. I had a Chik for $11 all in. I then drove up a few miles to 1 and went back south to Hampton and west on 101W to Manchester NH. I stayed at a pretty acceptable Econolodge DT (Expedia 6.6) for $87. I stayed there because I thought I could walk to an event. I could not. Just down the street happened to be a place on Man v Food. I had 1/4lb of very good brisket and a sausage for $15 at KC's Rib Shack Barbecue. I saw the New Hampshire Fisher Cats play the Altoona Curve for $23 and $10 parking at Delta Dental Stadium. I drove aside the river after the game and watched the NBA finals.

The next day I drove back to Rye Harbor Lobster. I did the same thing as the day before. Let me reiterate, I believe the cheapest lobster I have ever scored in NE was one for $16 years ago. Most wanted around triple their price. A shack aside them (Rye Seafood Company) was training an employee on oyster shucking and gave me two free Pemaquids. I continued on 1N to Ogunquit. I was still hungry, so, I stopped at Omelette Factory and had an ok benny with bad home fries for $21. Further on to South Portland. I stayed at the Casco Bay Hotel (Expedia 8.4) near the Mall/Airport for $107. This area had many hotels. Can't believe I never knew it existed. It makes Portland doable. I drove to the ballpark only to learn the game was not a night game as I thought I had read. So, back to the hotel. I had a lame cb with better tots and beer and Sebago Brewing Co for $41. I then had a beer at Sea Dog Brewing Co for $10. 

The next day I went back near the stadium and had an ok chocolate coconut potato donut at The Holy Donut for $5 (Man v Food). I drove down to the harbor where I performed a miracle. I found a free spot in front of of my restaurant! You couldn't even find a metered by 11am. I had a medium bucket of steamers (37) at J Oyster (Anthony Bourdain) for $26. I then drove 295N to 1N to 127 at Bath to Georgetown. I just grabbed a haddock chowder for $7 at Five Islands Lobster Co (Chow Down Countdown) because they were being stupid about the lobster. A $16 per pound 1.3lber somehow became $28. There was some bs about a deposit on the cracker. Also, they weighed the lobster in a heavy plastic crate full of water. The area was very nice though. Back to 1N to Rockland. I finally had a $4 hot dog at Wasses. Bought some wine and snacks at Shaw's. Drove to Rockport. Stayed at the cute Glen Cove Inn (Booking 8.5) for $114. Grabbed a margarita pinsa for $20 at Ports of Italy. They said this is how they term it in Rome. I've never come across that. It was good. Football shaped. Pizza btw. I watched the NBA Finals.

The next day the weather started to change. I drove 1S to Newcastle and Split Rock Distilling. I had a sample of the vodka and single barrel bourbon. Very good. They take their shit seriously. Down to Woolwich to some idiotic restaurant with a blow up lobster on the roof that I had to finally stop at - Taste of Maine. Home of the three foot lobster roll. I just grabbed a bowl of mussels (22) for $25. Back to Portland. I had a very good double smash cb with Caesar salad at Nosh (Man v Food) for $22. Saw Maine College or Art and Design across the street. I had a great Big Ole Biscuit Ice Cream Sandwich at The Highroller Lobster Co (Man v Food) for $7. Not sure if they make it. I only had fifteen minutes grace on parking and they couldn't guarantee I'd make it for The $19 2oz lobster roll I was considering. Remember the math. A lb ($9 at Rye) is 16oz. So, around $1 for 2oz at Rye versus their $19. Saw Cross Insurance Arena. I drove closer to the stadium and wasted more time at Margarita's (Man v Food). I had a terrible taco for $9. It was raining by now. I parked near the stadium in a spot whose sign stated one hour free. I spoke with a lady who said that was bs on game day. So, I waited and the weather cleared up. I bought a general admission ticket to the Portland Sea Dogs v Hartford Yard Goats for $15 at Hadlock Field. The GA section is pretty large. I sat about twenty rows up behind the plate. It was Pride Night. BTW - Driving around Portland I saw MANY interesting restaurants that looked way better than the ones I went to. I drove down 1S to Saco. Hotel prices were ridiculous anywhere else. I stayed at the terrible (sewer/mold odor) Wagon Wheel Hotel (Expedia 8.8) for $123. Grabbed some wine and snacks at Hannaford's.

The next day I drove 1S to 9A to Kennebunkport. I had a terrible clam cake burger at The Clam Shack for $12 because I was waiting for my lunch place to open. One, eraser piece of clam. Used their 30 minute parking area in front. I had a very good salmon with vegetables (snow peas, asparagus, tiny cherry tomatoes, green beans) and mashed potatoes (so much butter) at the White Barn Inn (Food Paradise/Unique Eats) for $45. I then drove to Ogunquit. I stayed at the Milestone Inn (Booking 7.9) for $79. I bought a $6 roast chicken, etc at Hannaford's. I found this new area (to me) called Perkin's Cove. I was going to eat at a place called MC. However, there is no free parking (or much of any) there. They did have boat tours. Even a lobstering one. Find Shore Rd as you enter Ogunquit. Also find beach Rd next to it. It was raining, so, I stayed in.

The next day I had a lame egg and sausage sandwich at The Greenery Cafe for $12. 1S to Kittery. I had decent (except for the one with a rock that could have/may have cracked a tooth) bowl of mussels (33) with sourdough at When Pigs Fly Bakery for $25. Down to Danvers MA for a terrible Knight's Inn do over called the Northshore Hotel (Booking 7.2) for $127. Prices anywhere in MA were ridiculous. This was the cheapest non-Motel 6-ish option. On a Monday! Nothing much around. Had to settle on McD.

The next day I drove to the airport. Had an ok rb sandwich at Jimmy John's at the airport for $10. Terminal A at Logan is really two terminals. I had to walk a mile to get to my gate. No issues. I saw Running Man going up and Wicked 2 and Hamnet coming back. Nothing much. I forget to opine on Marty Supreme which I saw in Michigan. Also not great.

I spent $86 on gas. $146 on parking. $475 on food and beverages. $38 on tickets. $733 on hotels. Total = $1839. I lucked out on the weather. Pretty hot. Didn't ever need a sweatshirt. I suspect that hotels are employing the strategy of trying to squeeze more money out of fewer customers. Probably because they don't have enough staff to clean those rooms or expected guests to sell out anyway. You have to find the desperate ones. Usually newly remodeled ones. I have a suspicion that Expedia and Booking are using AI against our advantage as well. I knocked out all the MILB parks and most of the restaurants on the list. Still have Primo by Melissa, Street & Co and Kennebunk Inn to go. I tried pb&J M&Ms. Gas was around $4.25.

Grub Crawl - Longwood: Frida's and Zola

I tried these spots last night at dinner. The first is in a strip mall just off 434 on Wekiva Springs Rd. The other is in the old Santiago's Bodega location in a strip mall close to I4 (non-4 Rivers side) on Spring Centre Blvd. Look for a BK.

Frida's Mexican Grill - I had the enchiladas verdes (two chicken and two beef) for $15.51 (listed as $15) to go. They were the worst I have ever had. The meats were ok. However, they didn't bake it. Just raw rolled up tortillas. The cheese was gross. The veg were old. The salsa was tasteless. The plastic menu is huge. Lots of Average Jose dishes. None a great bargain. The one deal seemed to be two street tacos on Tuesday for $6 or five for $12. A bar on the left with four booths. Maybe twenty tables in the middle flanked by eight booths. Old looking Mexican decor. It was a Habanero's three years earlier. Maybe something else before that. Frida Kahlo iconography. The floor was sticky. They added a credit card surcharge. I only went here to complete the sweep of this area. I won't be back.

Zola - Will be a Fav. Had me at Emile Zola. I grabbed the beer battered grouper frito for $21 to go. They came with fries. Some of the ONLY properly done hand cut fries I've been served. Crisp exterior (they never are) with milky inside. Alot. Not slaty. The grouper was fresh. I ate it blindly while driving home, so, I think there were only three (finger sized) of them. They added some lemon and greens that started to make the coating mushy. I would eschew the garnish if I were them. Side of tartar. The menu is broken up it price categories. I think the two costlier ones were $21 and $45. Salads and apps were less. They had a sample of most meats. I remember a charcuterie board, lobster roll, hamburger and some KC dish called chicken piedensa or something. The owner had three places in Kansas City. Employed the Santiago's Bistro guy. Told me an interesting story about Willian S Burroughs. They spent alot on the reno. A big bar with a back of boat replica that read Pilar. I believe that was Hemingway's dingy. A main room with some twelve and four person tables. A room on the left that I believe usually has tables, but, was cleared out for live music. A wrap around patio. Great, minimalist decor. Black. Wood and iron. A large mural of the man himself greets you as you enter. Food came out fast. Small staff. Around twenty people there after 8pm. Lots of booze. Wine. Not stuffy. Open 7D from 5pm. Brunch on the weekends. Parking. If you can find it, find it. Open for ten days or so. 

Grub Crawl - Avalon Park and UCF Area: Tratto, Ferratti's and Lert Thai

I tried these spots Saturday at lunch. The first is in a strip mall before Avalon Park on Avalon Park Blvd. The second is in the market place in AP. The third is in a strip mall at University and Alafaya Trail by the UCF entrance on the southwest side. 

Tratto - Open for a year and a half. Square floor plan. Strip mall level ambience. I had a terrible lasagna for $22. To add insult to injury, it was big. I felt obligated to finish it to be polite. Why does everything good come in a small portion and everything bad come in quantity? The pasta part was mush. It was SOOO salty. No ricotta. Maybe a bechamel. Gray meat. Cardboard tasting cheese on top. Sugary sweet sauce. Im not sure you could screw it up worse if you tried. This place is obviously not run by Italians. I suspect Hispanics or Arabs. There seemed to be one (maybe two) people in the kitchen. This reheat job took a while to come to the table. There was only one table not served ahead of me. Three in total. I also could not drink the water. It was putrid. The one thing they did acceptably was the free focaccia. The menu had pasta, risotto, burrata, meatballs, salmon, salads, pizza, etc. They did a pasta in a cheese wheel. Everything between $20 and $40. Apps all at main prices. Four black appareled wait staff. The place is beige on beige. Some black accents. Fake plants. Two fake light up trees. Profile aspects of faces in wood on one wall. Five booths on either wall. The one on the right was slightly elevated. Four tables in between. Pizza oven in the rear middle. Non-dressed up clientele. A tremendous let down.

Ferratti's Artisan Pizza - Except the pizza was broken and they were using a toaster oven. Needless to say, my $15 Mairinara dei Due Colori (a pizza devoid of cheese) was not good. And took forever because they were even doing the pasta out of that toaster. And there was only one order before me. The "pizza" crust was thicker than pan pizza. Mostly because it was only stretched to ten inches. I believe it was supposed to have yellow and red tomatoes. I expected slices. They must mean it is in the sauce. It came with some sweet black circles that I think they called black garlic. Seemed too wide to be a clove. I'm not sure because I stopped caring when they said the already taped over prices were no longer in effect and a pizza like the $18 bufala mozzarella (tri colori) was now $22. Quite a price hike. They also weren't doing the "sandwiches" (which may or not have started at the listed $12) because they didn't have any bread (probably because of the broken oven) and wouldn't for three hours. I wasn't having a pasta because of the nauseating one still in my belly. These guys were also doing a pasta in a cheese wheel. Do you think that is hygenic? Only two guys in the "kitchen". This is a food stall. The pizza guy was burning every crust. Air bubbles galore. They didn't look Italian either. They were speaking in Spanish. The guy at the Weekly gushed over this place. I can see that it may have potential. The menu reads like it was created by someone with real Italian training. However, this trip did not expose any evidence of it. A stupendous let down. Open for a few weeks or months. Who cares?

Lert Thai - This Northern Thai newcomer (a few weeks) sort of salvaged the trek. I had the chicken larb salad (one romaine leaf, two slices of cucumber and a pinch of grated carrot) for what I believe was $15 (can't find the receipt). It was ok. I am having a hard time remembering how to gauge a good one from a bad one. The chicken was bland. So, it all boils down to the dressing. I think I've had tastier. The menu is changing, but, now had noodles, rice and salads and soups. Thai samosa and pork neck were things I don't believe I have seen before. Seemed like one cook and one front man. He was charming. Rectangular floor plan. Order at a counter. Basic decor. I believe they are open for lunch and dinner every day. I had tried to try them a few Tuesdays ago. The host said he has hired enough staff to eliminate that issue again. One other there at 2pm. The host said Lert means "delicious". It also has some slangy meaning when lady boys use it. The more you know...

*The cunts at that Viet Thai place I just ate at added a $10 tip to the total. Have to check your cc statement!