Papa Tony's, Winter Springs - Closed

I ate at this Italian restaurant on 434 last night. The sign at the door says "Orlando's best kept secret". It should read "This place is best kept secret". First of all it's in a gas station. This would be cute if it was good. But, it's appropriate given have bad the food was. I ordered a veal parmigiana hero because I was not about to throw $15 down the toilet on this long shot. That was the median price for about everything (I think spaghetti is about 89 cents a box). They didn't have veal. On a Friday. The start of a weekend. Their busiest time of the week. I settled for the chicken at $7. Do you know the Italian Chicken Sandwich at Burger King that they drag out every once and a while? Then you know the Chicken Parm Sandwich at Papa Tony's. Same size. Same quality. The place is aged. There was a guy singing at a piano. They offered specials and a salad bar. Too scary for me. Maybe they're good. But, I'd be too scared to try. And I'd be to smart to pay what they expect for it. Another sign said the original cook or owner was back (I assume this wasn't a threat). I can't imagine how bad it was under previous ownership. The one good thing was the service. I even watch on as a waitress took the time to try and help out some deadbeat/person off his meds looking for a free glass of water read the menu before we all realized he was just taking advantage. I would also check the menu against your check. I think some things on the menu are listed lower than they appear on your check. If you don't know this place is bad, you don't know what Italian cooking should taste like.

Hayashi, Sanford - Closed

I had lunch at this Japanese restaurant on 46 on Tuesday. I had a short rib lunch box for $8.95 and a two roll sushi lunch special (yellowtail and tempura chicken) for $5. Sodas were $1. It was ok. This place was run by a Japanese man when it was called Gyosai. I had the impression that it is run now by a Chinese owner (drop in quality and Chinese items on the Menu). On the plus side, I applaud the larger menu, the prices and differentiation. The Chinese hot items will bring in less adventurous customers. The prices will bring in the poor (most of Sanford). The different items will bring in people like me. The short ribs had a gamey taste. I'm sure the quality and age of the meat was bad. But, it was fun having something to pick at other than the usual Chinese dishes. Think thin skirt steak on the bone. Or that crap they serve when you order pepper steak from a take-out place. The spring roll was ok. It was not really filled with anything at all (mostly an empty shell). The potstickers were fine. The Japanese style salad was all iceberg lettuce. The watermelon squares were fresh and seedless. The miso soup was fine. The white rice was a little overcooked. And that was the lunch box. The rolls were ok. The yellowtail was fresh. But, I hate when they give you those tiny rolls wrapped in seaweed. It's like they section a straw. I didn't care for the chicken tempura roll. I'd never had one before and I don't think I will again. I'm not a big fan of land animals and sushi. The service was good. Two and a sushi chef for about 10 tables (3 were occupied and they had takeout orders). They asked for re-fills. The food came quickly. The place is pretty much the same as the old place. I think they did something to the sushi bar and added a TV. They have $1 sushi on weekdays from 5-7 (larger selection than Samurai). It's not high end sushi but you can put it in your rotation if you live near by and enjoy a sushi fix at reasonable prices.

Eola Cafe, Downtown

On Wednesday I had dinner at this American restaurant in the Embassy Suited Hotel on Pine St. I had a Cab Burger for $11. On the plus side, the bun was good a toasted to perfection. On the don side, the hamburger ws awful. It was grey, pre-formed and lacking in flavor. It was alterately overcooked on the edges and raw in the middle (a sure sign that it wasn't defrosted enough before cooking). The homemade chips were great. The place is in the lobby of the hotel and you get a great floor to cieling eating aboreteum. The service was good. The wine selections were good and resonably priced. It was clean. It seats about 90. The menu was typically over priced (business accounts and hotel hostages). I would go for the ambiance.

Brick & Fire, Casselberry - Closed

On Wednesday I had lunch at this Italian restaurant on 436. I had the Greek Chicken and Pasta Salad with beverage for $6.95. The greens were good. The chicken was awful. It was that chicken Spam they use at BK. The pasta was stuck together. I don't think the cook ladled the water while boiling it. They haven't changed the decor from the Mexican themed darkness of the establishment that preceeded it. They added a pizza counter. That's it. The service was ok. 2 servers for 3 tables seated out of twenty or so. No re-fills on the drinks. The dish I ordered was a summer special. The rest of the menu was over-priced (a 20$ pizza for example). Another woefully mediocre Italian travesty at premium pricing. I wouldn't go back. Plus they didn't take AMEX.

Pio Pio, Orlando

On August 13th I had lunch at Pio Pio on 436 on my way to the airport. It's a Latin style restaurant. I had Pork Belly with Arepa for $3.50. Now, in the last month I've had braised pork belly in the Hamptons and a Pork Belly Taco in Pacific Beach, CA. Both were far superior to this pork belly in different ways. The braised pork belly was nearly 100% eatable. Only a thin membrane in between the two halves of the pork belly was dicardable. The fried pork belly in the taco was 100% eatable. Pio's belly was 90% ineatable fat. Now I don't know if it is their style of preparation or poor execution, but, I found it too fat-centric for my taste. But, it was cheap so no harm done. I also had a steak sandwich for $5. It was monstrous. It came with lettece and tomato on a huge roll. I couldn't finish it. The prices swing wildly at this place. Some entrees are in the high teens or higher. I wouldn't pay that for peasant food. But, if you order smartly it's a good choice. The place is nice. It has a few sister establishments. It seats about 70. It was half full. The service was good. It was clean. It had appropriate decor for a Latin-themed restaurant. Give it a go.

Limoncello's, Sanford - Closed

On Monday I ate at this quasi-Italian restaurant on that little island in Sanford. It's in the old Oscar's localtion and retains most of its elements (except for new photos of Italian-Americans on the wall). I had their lunch buffet because I wanted to sample as much of their fare as possible. It ran $9.95. They had a salad bar. Not huge and mostly iceberg but acceptable. They had corn chowder (better than the porridge they serve at Panera's). They had roast chicken. It was flavored with a rub that reminded me of Old Bay and was dry (but I like it that way). They had ziti in a tomato sauce baked with mozzerella. They had farfalle in a cream sauce. They had sauteed squash and zucchini (a little greasy). They had really fried hashbrowny potatos. They even fired up a pizza for me. It wasn't half bad. Unfortunately, for them there were only 3 others eating dining when I was there. I think they had some take out orders, but, a not half bad buffet was probably ignored. If you going to eat in Sanford, I have to believe this is the best value. They have most of Oscar's old dishes and many Italian staples. The view is killer. The service was great (she was even doing windows while I was there). The place is clean. The decor is above average. It mostly wood with fish tanks thrown in. It seats about 60 and has an outdoor deck. For 10 bucks it beats the 2 pieces of mis-cut salmon sushi and beer I had at Fish Bones on Friday.

Conquistador, Winter Park

I had lunch at this Puerto Rican restaurant in a strip mall on 436 on 7/1 on my way to the airport. As I recall, I had some sort of salted pork special for $7. While the pork was a bit salty (as previously stated), I enjoyed it. It came with a momofongo that had little bits of pork in it. The portion was large. The sauce was good. The service (1 guy) was good. Only 1 other table was taken. But, it was early and the take out orders were flying in. The decor is sparse. It seat about 40. They have a flat screen toggling through Puerto Rican images. I would try it.

Club Crawl - Lake Mary : Carlos and Charlies (Closed)

10-11pm: Carlos and Charlies: You know a place sucks when I immediately go home and slam it. This place was peopled with the same crowd that probably went to it on Spring Break 1990. What a disater. It took forever to get a drink (The 4 bartenders couldn't keep up). As if it's not bad enough that they young girls in Lake Mary are fat and ugly, the cougars that prowl this enclave are pawful. I can't wait to leave this cesspool for a real city in a couple of days. I will be on leave for a month. Good riddance social oblivion.

3 6 9, Casselberry - Closed

Today I had lunch at this Chinese restaurant on 436 near Rachel's. I had the Brocolli with Chicken for $6. It came with rice, tea, water, and wonton soup. The wonton soup was rich and chickeny. Two large dumplings in a thick coat. Question. Is Chinese food salty because the need the salt for manual labor or is it how the preserve things? I'm not complaining. It was salty but good. The entree was enormous. I felt guilty being charged the same amount I usually pay at my local fast food Chinese place for half as much. The chicken wasn't overcooked. Very moist. The sauce was a bit cloying. They need to learn that less is more. The rice was well cooked. The service was good. But, I have to learn not to make eye contact because they think it means I want something. The place is done up with black laquer tables and chairs. Chinese art adorns the walls. They have a little section that offers Chines items for sale. It was clean and empty. A great value. I think they have another place closer to Apopka.

Hu Hu Hot, Florida Mall

I had lunch 2 (the real object) at this Mongolian restaurant outside the Florida Mall on Wednesday. It's an all you can eat buffet for $9.79. You choose your meat, veg and sauce and they cook it on a big, round, metal grill. What can I say about it? It's a value buy. The results depend more on your ability to match ingredients than their culinary skill. It is a chain so the restaurant is clean and new. It was mostly empty. There's not much service beyond the clean up. They have a bar and flatscreens (tuned to CNN). Question: why do restaurants choose a political channel to show? You're going to piss off half your clientele.

Salsa, Florida Mall

On Wednesday I had luch 1 at this Mexican restaurant near Macy's in the Florida Mall (John Young and Sand Lake). I had a steak quesadilla for $7.99. It was kind of tiny. The steak was kind of hamburgery. It was topped with a little guac and some strings of sour cream. This was one of the cheaper things on the menu. I would say it's overpriced for a mall restaurant. While the place is modern and clean, I wouldn't recommend it. It's part of a national conglomerate that runs Samba Room, etc. You are paying big boy prices for McFood. The staff was nice. Try authetic Mexican at realistic pricing at any eyesore over this. Unless you think Outback is a good steakhouse and non-gringos scare you.

Grafitti Junction, Thornton Park - Closed

I had dinner at this bar in a tent past Dexters on Friday night. I had a cheeseburger with avocado for $8.50. It came with a lot of fries. I was surprised when it came close to medium rare as requested. All seemed well until about 10 minutes after eating. Can you say indigestion? I think it was the spicy rub they put on it. I would lose it. The service was good. The place is trying to channel Austin, TX. It is a fenced in "porch" with grafitti all over the place (including the servers). I bet it gets a fun crowd (Zooey Deschanel not Emily) later on. They have Widescreens and video games. I wouldn't be surprised if they have live music. A good place to get annihalated and puke up that shitty burger seasoning in the corner. They probably just hose it off.

City Diner, Downtown

I had breakfast at this diner behind the court house on Friday. Let's just say I think I overpaid for a one egg on a muffin with cheese and a DC for $5. I asked for no grease on the muffin. Got it. The egg must have been from a quail. The cheese wasn't melted. The DC tasted like rust (no re-fill). The waitress had on a wig. The place has shitty parking. It closes at 2. I feel bad for all those cons and lawyers who have to eat here before trial.

District Five, Downtown

I had lunch at this hotel restaurant in the Crowne Plaza on Friday. I had a turkey club for $7.99. It had only one slice of turkey and two pieces of bread but it was tasty. They served it on some thick whole grain type bread with a spicy mayo. It came with a side of potato salad and chips. They were both above average. The service was pretty much order and delivery (no check). But, that may be because they were serving a seminar at the same time. The place is very modern. It has windows for good light. The whole hotel (which was a condo) was very nice. I would stop by (before a Magic game or Carr performance) for at least a drink at the bar and a look around. The parking was free too.

Golden Thai, Longwood

I had lunch at this Thai place on 434 in between 1-4 and 17-92 on Tuesday. I had the Masaman Chicken for $7. It's white meat with a yellow curry with peppers and white rice. Everything was good. No surprises. The place is small (10 tables). It was full. They have a small staff (3 including management). The service was adequate. The decor was authentic Thai with lots of bling. It's a fine spot for a casual Thai meal.

Club Crawl - Longwood & Sanford : Harmoni (Closed), Mulligans, Route 46 (Closed)

10-11pm: Harmoni. Had some nice wine but the scene was slow. One foursome of New Yawkers and 2 couples on dates at the bar. Should have stayed at Hurricanes. At least they had eye candy. I call the brunette.

11-11:30pm: Mulligans. All dude-fest. How do people in non-club towns every get laid?

11:30-11:59pm. Route 46. Went to the new Garage Bar. Two married girls at the bar. Maybe five non-descripts outside. This is the second time I've been to this multi-space vortex and the second time it was beyond suck. I think it's out of mind until I get a Harley and start day drinking in my leather vest.

Hurricane Grill and Wings, Longwood

I had dinner at this Surf themed American restaurant in that strip mall right at Wekiva Springs Rd and 434 on Friday. I had the Mahi-Mahi Platter for $10.99. It was a grilled rectangle of fish with fries and a mini-cup of slaw. The fish was actually well prepared (not dry). Although the shape screamed frozen, it was fine. It wasn't hidden under any rub or sauce. The fries were very good. They were covered with a salt and pepper rub. The cole slaw had a lot of fennel or coriander seeds in it (I forget which is which). The place was packed. They had adequate staff (all girls) for the traffic. People seemed to move in and out quickly. It was full throughout the night. They have a bar. They have flat screens. Surfboards and surfing murals provide the visual stimulus. A family friendly place. Especially for Dad (see the line about all girl staff).

Circa, Winter Park (Closed)

I had lunch at this what they call American Classic (I call it themeless) restaurant on Park Avenue on Wednesday. I had the Tortellini in a Tomato Chianti Cream Sauce (very American, right?) for $7. It was delicioso. It came with sweet english peas. The portion was large. The pasta was well cooked. The sauce was savory. I laughed to myself when I looked across the street and saw those saps getting a Panera sandwich for the same price. The service was good. Although, it better have been since only two others were in attendance. The staff was all dressed in costume. The waiter gave me a good table and refilled my drink without provocation. He was always attentive. They served a little unleavened cracker in lieu of bread (very cost conscious). The butter was a little stinky. It had either been melted and reformed too many times or tainted by something in the refrigerator. The place is art deco. They have fresh flowers. There is a mirrored bar, piano and an upstairs night club (all white). They have a banquet room in the back and a pub next door. The food ranged from meatloaf to alligator bits to seafood. The place was clean and has good views. They have put a lot of care into this operation. The value is great (especially at lunch). Let's hope they can succeed where many others have failed.

Club Crawl - Tastings and Ember

10-11pm: Tastings. Mostly empty except one table of girls there for the $20 ladies night tasting. I was only there to try some wine and watch the Magic.

11pm-1am. Ember. Very full. Mostly guys (because of the game). Good atmosphere (because of the game). Back bar smelled of puke the whole night. Someone should be accountable for this mess (literally). I can't believe there could have been a manager on duty and this escaped them. Can I also request that douche bags don't take ownership of a bar stool when the whole crowd is looking to get a drink. I know you dragged $4 out of you bare trap like wallet for that beer you've been nursing for half an hour but some of us who came to spend money on real man drinks would like a drink too. You probably tell the girls that you're a high roller too. Don't ya? Left early because of that damn DUI law and the wisdom that you don't play when the odds are stacked against you. Live to cruise another day. No use fighting over the fat chick and the cougar. Orlando Tip - their boyfriend is at the bar and just trying to get out of paying for their univited and undesired company.

Nagoya Sushi, Sand Lake - Closed

On Saturday I had an after-thought second meal at this Japanese restaurant. I was in the neighborhood and wanted to kill time before clubbing. I had some conch (fresh and meaty), baby octopus (same), sea urchin (rich and served with a sliver of lemon), surf clam (cut in two for easier nibbling), and a grilled half of a baby homard lobster tail (a new one). All but the lobster and urchin were under $2,50. $5 for the urchin and lobster (and once again that's real Maine-style lobster not frozen langoustine or Australian "lobster"). Unbelievable prices. Urchin is usually $8. The owner had promised that they serve more fish than rice and she wasn't lying. The rice was even properly vinegared. The staff was great, young and cute. The owners were attentive and knowledgeable. Even the house sake was good enough to be served cold ($5). It's great when the establishment gets it. The place is small enough to allow attention to detail. It's not a sushi factory like Amura (also good but impersonal and expensive and sometimes impolite). The decor was Japanese casual. It was about half full. It probably seats 50. Parking was free and close. I would ask you to find this little gem tucked in an alcove behind Christini's. You'll become a fan even if you stick to your California Rolls and Tuna Sushi. They even had Toro.