Epcot

I went to the Food and Wine Festival on Monday. I don't see why they don't keep many of these kiosks year round. It would balance out the regional representation and pass as an addition to this stale and crumbling park. It's not like they have excess capacity at any of their better restaurants.

France Bakery: Sacristan $3.25. It's like a chocolate chip croissant flattened out.
UK Pub: Chips $2.99.
Poland Kiosk: Pork Shank $3.50.
Spain: Red Snapper Escabeche $4.50 and Poema Cava $3.25
South Africa: Mealie Soup $3.25 and Goats do Roam White $2.50
Argentina: Bodegas Norton Char $2.50
Brazil: Miolo Char $2.25
Australia: Rosemount Tram/Ries $2.50
NY: Lieb Merlot Blanc $3.25, Dr Frank Riesling $3.25, Lakewood Riesling $3.25, Red Newt Riesling $3.

Pork shank was the best bite. Mealie Soup was the worst (corn chowdery). The Norton Char was some kind of Late Harvest blend. It was the most watery wine I have ever tasted. I hope the staff ruined this somehow. It was the worst. Merlot blanc was a close second. The best were the NY Rieslings.

Rice Paper, Sand Lake

I had lunch at this Vietnamese restaurant on Turkey Lake (in an older shopping cluster on the other side of the new Whole Foods) on Monday on my way to Disney. I just had a summer roll and soup because I wanted to check the place out. The summer roll (pork and shrimp) was $3.75. It was fine. Nice slice of pork. The meatball soup was $3.95. It was fine but I'm still not sure how the Vietnamese make these things so dense and rubbery. The place seats 24 on one side and probably the same on the other (it was hosting a private party). It was almost full. It was clean. It had some decor heralding the region it was representing. The staff (2) was quick and polite. I had read some posts about it being bad and rude. I found it very good.

Jack's Steakhouse, Baldwin Park - Closed

Today I had lunch at Jack's Steakhouse in Baldwin Park. I had a Kobe Burger with Cheddar for $8.95. It was well cooked and came with field greens, red onion, tomato, pickle and truffle oil fries. Can't complain about a thing. Service was great (3 refills). Price was right. Atmosphere was steakhouse clean. Parking was easy. Put it this way, the 5 Guys Burgers down the block start at $4.50 (w/o fries I think) and it's not half as good. Put down the fast food and treat yourself for a few dollars more. Be civilized.

Club Crawl - Bar Louie and Circa (Closed)

9:30-10pm: Bar Louie. I had a drink at Bar Louie on Sand Lake Rd. They have one in PB too (I'm sure many other places). A bad band was playing hill-billy tunes to exhaustion. Pool boys and cougars. Question. Why do semi-wealthy girls down here all were satin tops from Dillard's? You all look like Kate Gosslin. Do you ever read (look at) a fashion magazine? Place was boring. But, it was only 9.

10:30pm-1am: Circa. I had a drink at their upstairs club (Winter Park). I was told by the owner that they get Rollins girls here. No they don't! They get fossils here. It was like a bad wedding reception. Same shitty tunes. Same guests.

Best part of the evening - late night snack at Pancho's on 436 and 17-92.

Ocean Prime Orlando, Sandlake

On Saturday I had dinner at this New American restaurant on Sandlake. The prices were steep and I had a sneaking suspicion that they couldn't deliver at that level. Therefore, I ordered 2 appetizers. I actually tried for the chicken at $24 but they were out of it (I wonder if it's because it's the only reasonably priced thing on the menu?). I had the French Onion Soup for $8 and the Surf and Turf for $16. The soup was ok. The broth was fine. The cheese was flavorless (ie cheap) and not browned enough on top. The Surf and Turf was braised short ribs (a little gamey) on top of scallops (2). They were large but fishy (not fresh) and one was laced with sand or shell or grit of some kind. The service was great. They gave you a whole loaf of sour dough bread that looked great. The decor is very nice but it lacks personality. They have a private (as private as glass can be) dining room, a large bar and an outdoor seating area. The place is fine but not fine dining. It's like Fran Drescher at a black tie affair. You can dress her up and she can look good and say the right things but you still know she doesn't pass the test. Plus these prices are an insult when you have to sit next a bunch of jack asses in shorts and a tee shirt. Either lose your pretense or enforce it. I have a feeling that people try for a table at J. Alexander's next door (1/2 the price) but can't wait 40 minutes for a table so they suck it up and go to Prime so their fat wife and screaming kids will stop complaining. Interestingly, Prime was about half full (60 tables) and Alexander's was totally full. But, Prime is 2X as much so they probably earn equal amounts. Funny how the economics play out. I would reservedly recommend this place. It's like Salt Island or Capital Grille - expense account dining for hicks who think Ruth's Chris is as good as it gets. I was told it's run by a man from Ohio. Make of that what you will.

Positano, Ocoee

Last Wednesday I ate at this Italian restaurant on West Colonial (50) near the West Oaks Mall. I had the buffet for $7.95 to test out as many dishes as possible. Verdict? Pizza = good. 4 types. Thin. Salad Bar = good. Fresh. Had 3 cold non-vegetable selections as well as the veggies. Sausage Lasagna = a little bland but ok. Rigatoni a la Vodka = good. They also had two seafood oriented pastas and Eggplant Parmagiana = untried. Service was good. Clean. The place had a more formal area, a pizzeria and an enclosed patio. I wish I was hungrier that day, but, who can complain at $7.95. Get in there and stuff your fat faces.

Papa Tony's, Winter Springs - Closed

I ate at this Italian restaurant on 434 last night. The sign at the door says "Orlando's best kept secret". It should read "This place is best kept secret". First of all it's in a gas station. This would be cute if it was good. But, it's appropriate given have bad the food was. I ordered a veal parmigiana hero because I was not about to throw $15 down the toilet on this long shot. That was the median price for about everything (I think spaghetti is about 89 cents a box). They didn't have veal. On a Friday. The start of a weekend. Their busiest time of the week. I settled for the chicken at $7. Do you know the Italian Chicken Sandwich at Burger King that they drag out every once and a while? Then you know the Chicken Parm Sandwich at Papa Tony's. Same size. Same quality. The place is aged. There was a guy singing at a piano. They offered specials and a salad bar. Too scary for me. Maybe they're good. But, I'd be too scared to try. And I'd be to smart to pay what they expect for it. Another sign said the original cook or owner was back (I assume this wasn't a threat). I can't imagine how bad it was under previous ownership. The one good thing was the service. I even watch on as a waitress took the time to try and help out some deadbeat/person off his meds looking for a free glass of water read the menu before we all realized he was just taking advantage. I would also check the menu against your check. I think some things on the menu are listed lower than they appear on your check. If you don't know this place is bad, you don't know what Italian cooking should taste like.

Hayashi, Sanford - Closed

I had lunch at this Japanese restaurant on 46 on Tuesday. I had a short rib lunch box for $8.95 and a two roll sushi lunch special (yellowtail and tempura chicken) for $5. Sodas were $1. It was ok. This place was run by a Japanese man when it was called Gyosai. I had the impression that it is run now by a Chinese owner (drop in quality and Chinese items on the Menu). On the plus side, I applaud the larger menu, the prices and differentiation. The Chinese hot items will bring in less adventurous customers. The prices will bring in the poor (most of Sanford). The different items will bring in people like me. The short ribs had a gamey taste. I'm sure the quality and age of the meat was bad. But, it was fun having something to pick at other than the usual Chinese dishes. Think thin skirt steak on the bone. Or that crap they serve when you order pepper steak from a take-out place. The spring roll was ok. It was not really filled with anything at all (mostly an empty shell). The potstickers were fine. The Japanese style salad was all iceberg lettuce. The watermelon squares were fresh and seedless. The miso soup was fine. The white rice was a little overcooked. And that was the lunch box. The rolls were ok. The yellowtail was fresh. But, I hate when they give you those tiny rolls wrapped in seaweed. It's like they section a straw. I didn't care for the chicken tempura roll. I'd never had one before and I don't think I will again. I'm not a big fan of land animals and sushi. The service was good. Two and a sushi chef for about 10 tables (3 were occupied and they had takeout orders). They asked for re-fills. The food came quickly. The place is pretty much the same as the old place. I think they did something to the sushi bar and added a TV. They have $1 sushi on weekdays from 5-7 (larger selection than Samurai). It's not high end sushi but you can put it in your rotation if you live near by and enjoy a sushi fix at reasonable prices.

Eola Cafe, Downtown

On Wednesday I had dinner at this American restaurant in the Embassy Suited Hotel on Pine St. I had a Cab Burger for $11. On the plus side, the bun was good a toasted to perfection. On the don side, the hamburger ws awful. It was grey, pre-formed and lacking in flavor. It was alterately overcooked on the edges and raw in the middle (a sure sign that it wasn't defrosted enough before cooking). The homemade chips were great. The place is in the lobby of the hotel and you get a great floor to cieling eating aboreteum. The service was good. The wine selections were good and resonably priced. It was clean. It seats about 90. The menu was typically over priced (business accounts and hotel hostages). I would go for the ambiance.

Brick & Fire, Casselberry - Closed

On Wednesday I had lunch at this Italian restaurant on 436. I had the Greek Chicken and Pasta Salad with beverage for $6.95. The greens were good. The chicken was awful. It was that chicken Spam they use at BK. The pasta was stuck together. I don't think the cook ladled the water while boiling it. They haven't changed the decor from the Mexican themed darkness of the establishment that preceeded it. They added a pizza counter. That's it. The service was ok. 2 servers for 3 tables seated out of twenty or so. No re-fills on the drinks. The dish I ordered was a summer special. The rest of the menu was over-priced (a 20$ pizza for example). Another woefully mediocre Italian travesty at premium pricing. I wouldn't go back. Plus they didn't take AMEX.

Pio Pio, Orlando

On August 13th I had lunch at Pio Pio on 436 on my way to the airport. It's a Latin style restaurant. I had Pork Belly with Arepa for $3.50. Now, in the last month I've had braised pork belly in the Hamptons and a Pork Belly Taco in Pacific Beach, CA. Both were far superior to this pork belly in different ways. The braised pork belly was nearly 100% eatable. Only a thin membrane in between the two halves of the pork belly was dicardable. The fried pork belly in the taco was 100% eatable. Pio's belly was 90% ineatable fat. Now I don't know if it is their style of preparation or poor execution, but, I found it too fat-centric for my taste. But, it was cheap so no harm done. I also had a steak sandwich for $5. It was monstrous. It came with lettece and tomato on a huge roll. I couldn't finish it. The prices swing wildly at this place. Some entrees are in the high teens or higher. I wouldn't pay that for peasant food. But, if you order smartly it's a good choice. The place is nice. It has a few sister establishments. It seats about 70. It was half full. The service was good. It was clean. It had appropriate decor for a Latin-themed restaurant. Give it a go.

Limoncello's, Sanford - Closed

On Monday I ate at this quasi-Italian restaurant on that little island in Sanford. It's in the old Oscar's localtion and retains most of its elements (except for new photos of Italian-Americans on the wall). I had their lunch buffet because I wanted to sample as much of their fare as possible. It ran $9.95. They had a salad bar. Not huge and mostly iceberg but acceptable. They had corn chowder (better than the porridge they serve at Panera's). They had roast chicken. It was flavored with a rub that reminded me of Old Bay and was dry (but I like it that way). They had ziti in a tomato sauce baked with mozzerella. They had farfalle in a cream sauce. They had sauteed squash and zucchini (a little greasy). They had really fried hashbrowny potatos. They even fired up a pizza for me. It wasn't half bad. Unfortunately, for them there were only 3 others eating dining when I was there. I think they had some take out orders, but, a not half bad buffet was probably ignored. If you going to eat in Sanford, I have to believe this is the best value. They have most of Oscar's old dishes and many Italian staples. The view is killer. The service was great (she was even doing windows while I was there). The place is clean. The decor is above average. It mostly wood with fish tanks thrown in. It seats about 60 and has an outdoor deck. For 10 bucks it beats the 2 pieces of mis-cut salmon sushi and beer I had at Fish Bones on Friday.

Conquistador, Winter Park

I had lunch at this Puerto Rican restaurant in a strip mall on 436 on 7/1 on my way to the airport. As I recall, I had some sort of salted pork special for $7. While the pork was a bit salty (as previously stated), I enjoyed it. It came with a momofongo that had little bits of pork in it. The portion was large. The sauce was good. The service (1 guy) was good. Only 1 other table was taken. But, it was early and the take out orders were flying in. The decor is sparse. It seat about 40. They have a flat screen toggling through Puerto Rican images. I would try it.

Club Crawl - Lake Mary : Carlos and Charlies (Closed)

10-11pm: Carlos and Charlies: You know a place sucks when I immediately go home and slam it. This place was peopled with the same crowd that probably went to it on Spring Break 1990. What a disater. It took forever to get a drink (The 4 bartenders couldn't keep up). As if it's not bad enough that they young girls in Lake Mary are fat and ugly, the cougars that prowl this enclave are pawful. I can't wait to leave this cesspool for a real city in a couple of days. I will be on leave for a month. Good riddance social oblivion.

3 6 9, Casselberry - Closed

Today I had lunch at this Chinese restaurant on 436 near Rachel's. I had the Brocolli with Chicken for $6. It came with rice, tea, water, and wonton soup. The wonton soup was rich and chickeny. Two large dumplings in a thick coat. Question. Is Chinese food salty because the need the salt for manual labor or is it how the preserve things? I'm not complaining. It was salty but good. The entree was enormous. I felt guilty being charged the same amount I usually pay at my local fast food Chinese place for half as much. The chicken wasn't overcooked. Very moist. The sauce was a bit cloying. They need to learn that less is more. The rice was well cooked. The service was good. But, I have to learn not to make eye contact because they think it means I want something. The place is done up with black laquer tables and chairs. Chinese art adorns the walls. They have a little section that offers Chines items for sale. It was clean and empty. A great value. I think they have another place closer to Apopka.

Hu Hu Hot, Florida Mall

I had lunch 2 (the real object) at this Mongolian restaurant outside the Florida Mall on Wednesday. It's an all you can eat buffet for $9.79. You choose your meat, veg and sauce and they cook it on a big, round, metal grill. What can I say about it? It's a value buy. The results depend more on your ability to match ingredients than their culinary skill. It is a chain so the restaurant is clean and new. It was mostly empty. There's not much service beyond the clean up. They have a bar and flatscreens (tuned to CNN). Question: why do restaurants choose a political channel to show? You're going to piss off half your clientele.

Salsa, Florida Mall

On Wednesday I had luch 1 at this Mexican restaurant near Macy's in the Florida Mall (John Young and Sand Lake). I had a steak quesadilla for $7.99. It was kind of tiny. The steak was kind of hamburgery. It was topped with a little guac and some strings of sour cream. This was one of the cheaper things on the menu. I would say it's overpriced for a mall restaurant. While the place is modern and clean, I wouldn't recommend it. It's part of a national conglomerate that runs Samba Room, etc. You are paying big boy prices for McFood. The staff was nice. Try authetic Mexican at realistic pricing at any eyesore over this. Unless you think Outback is a good steakhouse and non-gringos scare you.

Grafitti Junction, Thornton Park - Closed

I had dinner at this bar in a tent past Dexters on Friday night. I had a cheeseburger with avocado for $8.50. It came with a lot of fries. I was surprised when it came close to medium rare as requested. All seemed well until about 10 minutes after eating. Can you say indigestion? I think it was the spicy rub they put on it. I would lose it. The service was good. The place is trying to channel Austin, TX. It is a fenced in "porch" with grafitti all over the place (including the servers). I bet it gets a fun crowd (Zooey Deschanel not Emily) later on. They have Widescreens and video games. I wouldn't be surprised if they have live music. A good place to get annihalated and puke up that shitty burger seasoning in the corner. They probably just hose it off.

City Diner, Downtown

I had breakfast at this diner behind the court house on Friday. Let's just say I think I overpaid for a one egg on a muffin with cheese and a DC for $5. I asked for no grease on the muffin. Got it. The egg must have been from a quail. The cheese wasn't melted. The DC tasted like rust (no re-fill). The waitress had on a wig. The place has shitty parking. It closes at 2. I feel bad for all those cons and lawyers who have to eat here before trial.

District Five, Downtown

I had lunch at this hotel restaurant in the Crowne Plaza on Friday. I had a turkey club for $7.99. It had only one slice of turkey and two pieces of bread but it was tasty. They served it on some thick whole grain type bread with a spicy mayo. It came with a side of potato salad and chips. They were both above average. The service was pretty much order and delivery (no check). But, that may be because they were serving a seminar at the same time. The place is very modern. It has windows for good light. The whole hotel (which was a condo) was very nice. I would stop by (before a Magic game or Carr performance) for at least a drink at the bar and a look around. The parking was free too.