HS Football - Seminole v Lake Brantley

Friday I went to visit the home of State Champs. Parking was free (unlike at Brantley). Tickets cost $6 (paying for HS football still cracks me up). I still can't get over how many band dorks and football parasites there are. They do realize they're just riding the players coat tails, right? They would have no audience if they didn't force themselves on us and the team. The play was pretty bad. The band loud. The cheerleaders shrill. The Seminoles' dance squad dress up like Liza Minelli in bowler hats and black stretch pants - ridiculous. Well it's an excuse to see what they waste our tax dollars on. I mean how many Patriot costumes should we be on the hook for?

Nature's Table, Lake Mary

I had lunch today at this self described health food chain outpost in the former AT&T office down and acroos from Jax on Lake Emma Rd. I had a Roast Beef wrap that was done in some sort of southwest style (basically cheese and some sort of mayo that didn't really taste of jalapeno). The only reason to go is if you love what they offer at all their other locations. The only reason I went was to track down this mysterious location. It is basically this office park's snack shop. They close at 2:30pm. It's breakfast and lunch. I guess I'll add it to my fast food filler rotation. It was cheaper than Subway. Parking was plentiful in the back.

Citrus Bowl - UFL Tuskers v Redwoods

I attended the United Footbal League game last night. I paid $15 (plus $5 for parking. $10 in their lot) for a second tier seat on the 20. However, I easily moved to the 45. Could have had any seat I wanted if it mattered. The quality of play was good. Few penalties. On the down side TV timeouts lasted an eternity. The halftime show was kind of good. It had an old school feel that I found superior to what most pro teams try and cobble together. Just a high school marching band and some low trajectory fire works. The half time was also short (maybe the length of one of those TV timeouts). The best thing was the price (although I think I was the only one who actually paid for his ticket). The worst thing(s) were the parking that cost as much as the ticket for a beta version of a league and the fact that this joke of a stadium can never accept credit cards. Also, the merchandise (I think outsourced) was reasonable. I bought a sweatshirt for $35 (was $65 for the XFL) and a penant for $10. Food was the same ridiculousness as usual. $10 for a corn dog with fries? I got sushi for $10 at Yankee Stadium this summer. Citrus Bowl anything should be half price. You should be glad we risk our lives and our cars by coming to this ghetto at all.

They say 12, 000 people were there. I counted about 10 sections on each side with around 100 people in them. That's 2,000. That being said, I hope they come back next year. It was worth the effort. Tusker's Rumble. How about a Squeal? You got a purty mouth.

Pho Hoa, E. 50

Last Night I had dinner at this Vietnamese restaurant on N.Primrose and 50 (near Total Wines). I had Ga Xe Phay which was shredded chicken with cabbage in a lime, pepper and corriander dressing for $9.50. It's served cold. It was excellent. The service was good. The place was clean for an Asian restaurant. It seats over 100. It has a bar. The decor was Asian (although it looked more Chinese than Vietnamese). It has an enclosed patio area. It was peopled with Vietnamese customers. The menu was large. The portion was large. The quality was good. Could be the top Vietnamese restaurant in the area.

Va Ma Nos, Lake Mary - Closed

On Wednesday I had lunch at this new Taqueria on 46A in Lake Mary. It's aiming to be an upscale Chipotle. And while different and pricier, it really doesn't have the potential to be much better (even when they get the bugs out). The menu is conceptually like Chipotle. You choose tacos (soft only = mistake), burritos or tostados (difference) and then the meat that goes into it. They try and make it sound fancy, but, it's basically chicken, beef and pork. The also offer fish and pork chop meals. But, both are chopped up so it basically just falls into the cat food category with the others. How one offers a pork CHOP without the bone is a head scratcher. You can choose lettuce, pico de gallo, tomatos, onion, crema, and 2 types of cheese as toppings. Guac is extra of course. They have an interesting salsa bar (probably the best thing about the place). The place seems like an Angel's diner (white walls). It seats 80-ish. It's self serve. The people behind the counter were nice. Although, the mexican guy who starts you out is a mumbler and a low talker so you can't understand a word he says. The music was also very loud and made it hard to order and gave me a headache. Additionally, they try and relate that you can adjust the menu to your liking, but, this just makes a confusing experience worse.

Back to the meal. I had the tostadas tinga (chicken) for $6.50. The tostados (3) were tiny and burnt. The chicken was luke warm. It was shredded chicken which is far superior to diced. It was all white meat. If they want to be the top of the fast food chain they need to execute better. They have the opportunity because they offer more than Chipotle and Qdoba at around the same price point. Moe's gives chips (a huge plus) but, their meat is so salty it gives you 5 pounds of water weight with every meal. Tijuana Flats also gives chips and has hard tacos, but is less authentic. I still say Taco Bell for value and Taco Riendo in Sanford and on 436 past 434 for the real thing for $1.50. All these $8 taco places leave you hungry.

Best part about this restaurant is that they don't put that damn tip line on their receipts. It's self serv bitches. Stop making us feel uncomfortable for not tipping at a fast food joint.

PizzaAroma, I-Drive

On my way to lunch on Monday, I had a slice at this pizzeria while I stopped to get a paper. Suprisingly it was pretty good. It had a very crisp consistancy and the cheese wasn't half bad. I've been getting such awful pizza lately (Diginos, Gio's, etc) that this was a revelation.

Sizzler, I-Drive - Closed

On Monday I satisfied a life long curiosity and ate at Sizzler. In my defense, I was looking for Punjab but it has been torn down. I had a Sirloin for $10. Unsurprisingly, medium was well done. But, otherwise it didn't give me diarehea. A little grey. No fat. The meal came with access to a huge buffet and a baked potato (why this just isn't part of the buffet is strange). Almost everything on it was prison food (taco section was particulary bad) but, I did go to college so I wasn't scared away from it. If you want to gourge yourself on poor imitations of classic snacks and a mediocre piece of meat then this is the place. The service was good although unnecessary (it's a buffet). The place was as clean and exciting as any aforementioned cafeteria.

Cafe Murano, Altamonte Springs

I had lunch at this Italian restaurant an Monday. I had the cheese steak lunch special for $7. They also had burgers, sandwichs, and pies for $7. The sandwich was a little tiny. But, the bread was good and oiled. The inards were meek but tasty. The services was great (4 refills). The place is in the old Gina's by the lake (retaining pond) in "Uptown" Altamonte. It has a very open floor plan. It must seat over 100 (inside and out). It has a hotel banquet hall feel mixed with a touch of sports bar. Only one thing on the menu (dinner too) was over $20. I suspect it will become a much more defensible alternative for the Chili's/Golf Club type diner.

Gourmet Burgers, Longwood

Last Friday I had lunch at this burger restaurant in Longwood. I had a Pineapple/Swiss stuffed burger for $7 (Soda and Fries were an extra buck fifty). The reason you inwardly stuff the toppings in a burger is to keep it moist. This technique is frustrated when the cook presses the life out of the burger. It was burnt and dry. The stuffing was oozing out of the meat. A few things saved this meal from being a complete waste. The cook seemed well intentioned. I think he was just trying to acellerate the laws of thermo-dynamics to get the burger to the customer. Also, the fries were good and the waitress had a good personality and was nice to look at (in fact I believe she's the only reason the 5 other customers were there). The place seats abot 20. They said they were going to stay open until 2am to feed the drunks from a nearby club that is opening today. There's no decor. I guess the burgers ate up all the "gourmet". The "poor country" style AC units couldn't keep up with heat. They also served dogs and some latin themed entrees. They still have a way to go before they earn their name. A burger is not "gourmet" because you create some odd (actually pretty cliche) combos and print them on a menu. Little things like ingredients and preparation define the term.

Pollo D'Oro, Orlando

I had dinner (actually take out) at this rotisserie yesterday. I had the 2 piece meal for $3.59. Good chicken. Good slaw. Iffy fries. A steal at this price. Hear me Aobe? I would recommend they switch to shoe string fries or cook the ones the have longer. It's in a fast food type location on W50 before the fair grounds.

Soong Thai, Ocoee

Lunch 2 (The Make-Up meal) happened at this Thai Restaurant on W50 before the Mall. It was the anti-thesis of the Aobe debacle. For a scant $6.95 I was served a large portion of Garlic Pepper Chicken in Vegetables with a soup and an egg roll. Now I usually don't like my Thai mixed with Chinese, the egg roll was good. The soup was a chicken stock with chicken and scallions. The pepper chicken was good. The service (4) for a 40 seat restaurant (mostly full even at 2pm) was excellent. The one flaw was that they served things right on top of another. The place had authentic decor that included Thai panels. Like I said, they seem to blend non-Thai dishes into the menu.

Aoba, Ocoee

I've been waiting to write this one since I got in the car. Yesterday I went to this Japanese restaurant in Ocoee. It's in a decrepit shopping plaza on Maguire Rd. It fits right in with it's surroundings. It has horrible roll around wooden chairs from the eighties. They would be horrendous in a work station let alone a restaurant. The place may have the most expensive prices in all of Orlando. Which is ok if you are explaining them through the logic of the bizarro universe from Superman. It is the worst Japanese restaurant I've been to in Orlando. Not just on quality, but, on price to performance. I could see it was going to be a rough meal when the 3 piece sushi plus Ca Roll lunch special started at $10. I decided that if I was going to be hosed for $10 I would at least get something bordering on exotic. I has the conch for $4 and an escolar roll for $4.50. The cheapest things not grown in the ground. The conch was limp, mushy and paper thin. The sushi rice was mush. The wasabi was dry. The escolar was actually tasty, but, it had the girth of the owner's ding dong (I'm guessing) - straw like. On top of this, they charged $2.50 for a soda (and no refills). The service was ok because only 3 other numbskulls like me were being grifted at the time. The owner bemoaned how much longer he could stay in business. Baby, you're all ready out of business you just don't know it yet.

Epcot

I went to the Food and Wine Festival on Monday. I don't see why they don't keep many of these kiosks year round. It would balance out the regional representation and pass as an addition to this stale and crumbling park. It's not like they have excess capacity at any of their better restaurants.

France Bakery: Sacristan $3.25. It's like a chocolate chip croissant flattened out.
UK Pub: Chips $2.99.
Poland Kiosk: Pork Shank $3.50.
Spain: Red Snapper Escabeche $4.50 and Poema Cava $3.25
South Africa: Mealie Soup $3.25 and Goats do Roam White $2.50
Argentina: Bodegas Norton Char $2.50
Brazil: Miolo Char $2.25
Australia: Rosemount Tram/Ries $2.50
NY: Lieb Merlot Blanc $3.25, Dr Frank Riesling $3.25, Lakewood Riesling $3.25, Red Newt Riesling $3.

Pork shank was the best bite. Mealie Soup was the worst (corn chowdery). The Norton Char was some kind of Late Harvest blend. It was the most watery wine I have ever tasted. I hope the staff ruined this somehow. It was the worst. Merlot blanc was a close second. The best were the NY Rieslings.

Rice Paper, Sand Lake

I had lunch at this Vietnamese restaurant on Turkey Lake (in an older shopping cluster on the other side of the new Whole Foods) on Monday on my way to Disney. I just had a summer roll and soup because I wanted to check the place out. The summer roll (pork and shrimp) was $3.75. It was fine. Nice slice of pork. The meatball soup was $3.95. It was fine but I'm still not sure how the Vietnamese make these things so dense and rubbery. The place seats 24 on one side and probably the same on the other (it was hosting a private party). It was almost full. It was clean. It had some decor heralding the region it was representing. The staff (2) was quick and polite. I had read some posts about it being bad and rude. I found it very good.

Jack's Steakhouse, Baldwin Park - Closed

Today I had lunch at Jack's Steakhouse in Baldwin Park. I had a Kobe Burger with Cheddar for $8.95. It was well cooked and came with field greens, red onion, tomato, pickle and truffle oil fries. Can't complain about a thing. Service was great (3 refills). Price was right. Atmosphere was steakhouse clean. Parking was easy. Put it this way, the 5 Guys Burgers down the block start at $4.50 (w/o fries I think) and it's not half as good. Put down the fast food and treat yourself for a few dollars more. Be civilized.

Club Crawl - Bar Louie and Circa (Closed)

9:30-10pm: Bar Louie. I had a drink at Bar Louie on Sand Lake Rd. They have one in PB too (I'm sure many other places). A bad band was playing hill-billy tunes to exhaustion. Pool boys and cougars. Question. Why do semi-wealthy girls down here all were satin tops from Dillard's? You all look like Kate Gosslin. Do you ever read (look at) a fashion magazine? Place was boring. But, it was only 9.

10:30pm-1am: Circa. I had a drink at their upstairs club (Winter Park). I was told by the owner that they get Rollins girls here. No they don't! They get fossils here. It was like a bad wedding reception. Same shitty tunes. Same guests.

Best part of the evening - late night snack at Pancho's on 436 and 17-92.

Ocean Prime Orlando, Sandlake

On Saturday I had dinner at this New American restaurant on Sandlake. The prices were steep and I had a sneaking suspicion that they couldn't deliver at that level. Therefore, I ordered 2 appetizers. I actually tried for the chicken at $24 but they were out of it (I wonder if it's because it's the only reasonably priced thing on the menu?). I had the French Onion Soup for $8 and the Surf and Turf for $16. The soup was ok. The broth was fine. The cheese was flavorless (ie cheap) and not browned enough on top. The Surf and Turf was braised short ribs (a little gamey) on top of scallops (2). They were large but fishy (not fresh) and one was laced with sand or shell or grit of some kind. The service was great. They gave you a whole loaf of sour dough bread that looked great. The decor is very nice but it lacks personality. They have a private (as private as glass can be) dining room, a large bar and an outdoor seating area. The place is fine but not fine dining. It's like Fran Drescher at a black tie affair. You can dress her up and she can look good and say the right things but you still know she doesn't pass the test. Plus these prices are an insult when you have to sit next a bunch of jack asses in shorts and a tee shirt. Either lose your pretense or enforce it. I have a feeling that people try for a table at J. Alexander's next door (1/2 the price) but can't wait 40 minutes for a table so they suck it up and go to Prime so their fat wife and screaming kids will stop complaining. Interestingly, Prime was about half full (60 tables) and Alexander's was totally full. But, Prime is 2X as much so they probably earn equal amounts. Funny how the economics play out. I would reservedly recommend this place. It's like Salt Island or Capital Grille - expense account dining for hicks who think Ruth's Chris is as good as it gets. I was told it's run by a man from Ohio. Make of that what you will.

Positano, Ocoee

Last Wednesday I ate at this Italian restaurant on West Colonial (50) near the West Oaks Mall. I had the buffet for $7.95 to test out as many dishes as possible. Verdict? Pizza = good. 4 types. Thin. Salad Bar = good. Fresh. Had 3 cold non-vegetable selections as well as the veggies. Sausage Lasagna = a little bland but ok. Rigatoni a la Vodka = good. They also had two seafood oriented pastas and Eggplant Parmagiana = untried. Service was good. Clean. The place had a more formal area, a pizzeria and an enclosed patio. I wish I was hungrier that day, but, who can complain at $7.95. Get in there and stuff your fat faces.

Papa Tony's, Winter Springs - Closed

I ate at this Italian restaurant on 434 last night. The sign at the door says "Orlando's best kept secret". It should read "This place is best kept secret". First of all it's in a gas station. This would be cute if it was good. But, it's appropriate given have bad the food was. I ordered a veal parmigiana hero because I was not about to throw $15 down the toilet on this long shot. That was the median price for about everything (I think spaghetti is about 89 cents a box). They didn't have veal. On a Friday. The start of a weekend. Their busiest time of the week. I settled for the chicken at $7. Do you know the Italian Chicken Sandwich at Burger King that they drag out every once and a while? Then you know the Chicken Parm Sandwich at Papa Tony's. Same size. Same quality. The place is aged. There was a guy singing at a piano. They offered specials and a salad bar. Too scary for me. Maybe they're good. But, I'd be too scared to try. And I'd be to smart to pay what they expect for it. Another sign said the original cook or owner was back (I assume this wasn't a threat). I can't imagine how bad it was under previous ownership. The one good thing was the service. I even watch on as a waitress took the time to try and help out some deadbeat/person off his meds looking for a free glass of water read the menu before we all realized he was just taking advantage. I would also check the menu against your check. I think some things on the menu are listed lower than they appear on your check. If you don't know this place is bad, you don't know what Italian cooking should taste like.

Hayashi, Sanford - Closed

I had lunch at this Japanese restaurant on 46 on Tuesday. I had a short rib lunch box for $8.95 and a two roll sushi lunch special (yellowtail and tempura chicken) for $5. Sodas were $1. It was ok. This place was run by a Japanese man when it was called Gyosai. I had the impression that it is run now by a Chinese owner (drop in quality and Chinese items on the Menu). On the plus side, I applaud the larger menu, the prices and differentiation. The Chinese hot items will bring in less adventurous customers. The prices will bring in the poor (most of Sanford). The different items will bring in people like me. The short ribs had a gamey taste. I'm sure the quality and age of the meat was bad. But, it was fun having something to pick at other than the usual Chinese dishes. Think thin skirt steak on the bone. Or that crap they serve when you order pepper steak from a take-out place. The spring roll was ok. It was not really filled with anything at all (mostly an empty shell). The potstickers were fine. The Japanese style salad was all iceberg lettuce. The watermelon squares were fresh and seedless. The miso soup was fine. The white rice was a little overcooked. And that was the lunch box. The rolls were ok. The yellowtail was fresh. But, I hate when they give you those tiny rolls wrapped in seaweed. It's like they section a straw. I didn't care for the chicken tempura roll. I'd never had one before and I don't think I will again. I'm not a big fan of land animals and sushi. The service was good. Two and a sushi chef for about 10 tables (3 were occupied and they had takeout orders). They asked for re-fills. The food came quickly. The place is pretty much the same as the old place. I think they did something to the sushi bar and added a TV. They have $1 sushi on weekdays from 5-7 (larger selection than Samurai). It's not high end sushi but you can put it in your rotation if you live near by and enjoy a sushi fix at reasonable prices.