Green Lemon Cafe, Winter Park

I had a dessert at this creperie/deli in the Whole Foods strip mall east of town. I had a rasberry jam crepe for $4. They put too much jam on it, but, I bet the fatties who go there expect it. They serve smoothies, sandwiches, crepes and other things. It looks like a yougart/smoothie shop. Bright colors and glass. The service was fine. They didn't take Amex. It's badly marked. Just a sign that says cafe. I don't think they stay open at night. Another over rate by the Sentinel.

Il Pescatore, E. 50

I had lunch at this Italian restaurant off 50 on Primrose on Wednesday. I had the meat filled cannelloni for $8.25. I wasn't aware the Chef Boyardee made canelloni. It tasted exactly like their ravioli. There were also only two of them and they were thin. Just as well. It came with a predictably bad salad and garlic bread. The service was fast. The decor was rustic (hand painted murals). It seats about 30 in the side room and 50 in the main room. It looks shuttered from the outside. Too bad it isn't. Why it's called Il Pescatore is a mystery as they had no seafood on the menu. It's everything I hate about Italian restaurants -high prices, bad food, and an ugly setting. I'd liked to say I was shocked that it was half full, but, most people are devoid of sense so it fits.

Grub Crawl - Dr Phillips : Scalini's, Bonsai, Le Cafe de Paris

Scalini's: I had lunch at this pizzeria near the end of Dr. Phillips and Windemere. I had their 2 slice lunch special for $5. It's a nice, basic pizzeria. It seats abot 40. It was packed. The owner was cool. Not much too look at. I downgraded to pizza after I saw it was a basic place. The pizza was good - thin, good sauce and cheese. A fresh slice probably would have earned it a better rating.

Bonsai Sushi: I had a yellowtail roll for $6. It's in the same strip as Scalini's. It was good. Most basics adhered to. The fish was a little cartilidged. It's small. It seats abot 30. Prices were about 50% higher than the norm. They were nice.

Le Cafe de Paris: I had a chicken sandwich with black olives. Which was really a very mayonaised chicken salad from a can sandwich. Disappointing. It did have flavor (oil, seasoning). This is more of a deli than a restaurant. In the same complex as the others. Seats about 40. They were nice. Not expensive. They have breakfast.

Pub Crawl - I Drive/Sand Lake: Cricketer's Arms, O'Henry's, BB King's, Cuba Libre, Miller's Ale House

Cricketer's Arms: I had a beer at this pub outside the Festival Bay Mall on Friday. The bartender was a dick. It had some people. Not people you would want to have in your home. Do people really need to socialize so badly that they are willing to pay 10x the cost of retail booze for the pleasure of knowing other people exist in their town? This is why I never feel bad for the poor. They just piss away money stupidly.

O'Henry's: I would never EAT at one of these chain abominations (Beef O'Brady's, Houligans, etc). I mean who has concluded that making something sound Irish increases it's gastronomic allure? Probably someone who doesn't know what that term evinces. I did have to get it off my "to do" list so I grabbed a drink there. The place was empty at 10pm. It looked like every other Stonewood, etc. They have a cute bartender. Russian of all things. Why are there no Russian restaurants here? We have an Icelandic, a Ethiopian, etc.

BB King's: I had a beer at this spot on I Drive. Great spot. However, I felt like I had crashed a Black Wedding party. Mostly empty at 10:30pm.

Cuba Libre: Nice spot. A little Epcot-y. In the same complex as BB King's. I felt like I crashed a Cuban Wedding Party. Mostly empty at 11pm. Bartender was so disinterested I couldn't let myself wait.

Miller's Ale House: See above. I felt like I crashed a pay per view party. Which it was. MMA = dude fest. Still full (of sausage) at 11:30pm.

Grub Crawl - International Drive and Sand Lake: Fuddrucker's, Flipper's and Anthony's

Fuddrucker's: I had some chili cheese fries at this outpost in the Festival Bay Mall at the north end of I Drive last Friday. I was there mainly to add Cricketer's to my done list and didn't feel like paying near $10 for a chain burger. They almost got me with an elk and/or buffalo offering, but, I held fast. You order in a cafeteria style queue. The place was fine for that class of restaurant. They even had a guy making balloon animals for kids. It was mainly empty. It seats around 100. The fries were fine. Wedge cut. They cost $3.50. It was clean.

Flipper's: I ordered a sausage hero from this place behind the strip mall that has Ocean Prime on Sand Lake. It cost around $7. It was fine. The place is half way between a nice sit down faux trattoria and a fast food restaurant. They don't serve slices. It seat about 50. They have outdoor dining. It was about one third full.

Anthony's: A step up from Flipper's. It reminded me of an Italian restaurant in a casino in Vegas. It just seemed inauthentic. The service was good. I had a personal pizza for $6. It seats about 90. It is just a square area with no nooks. They have odd things on the menu like ribs and wings. The decor is old celebrity and sports related. It was about one quarter full.

MLL - Orlando Titans v Toronto Rock

I went to the semi-finals at the O-rena (yes!). It was my first time seeing Lacrosse indoors. The object seems to be to get possession of the ball and then run to the bench. Can they please change this strategy? It has to be more tiring doing it this way than leaving the unit out for a few shifts. The crowd was pleasant. It was small. Only about half of the lower bowl was filled. The Titans lost. I may go back next year if they lower the prices and fix the way the players play the game.

Garden Cafe, W.50

I had dinner at this Chinese Vegetarian Cafe on W. 50 near the O-rena last night. I had a faux shrimp and chicken entree with mixed vegetables in a brown sauce for $10. It was very tasty. The faux meat was probably the worst of it. It looked like what it was replacing, but, the shrimp tasted like shirimi and the chicken didn't taste like much of anything. The vegetables (zucchini, mushrooms, carrots, broccoli, and cauliflower) were all very fresh and clean. The sauce was savory. It came with a bowl of rice that was dry and old. I didn't have room for it anyway. The platter was huge. The place is a bit unwelcoming. It is a white brick edifice with bars on the window (obviously necessary given the neighborhood). I could never tell if it is opened or closed or if it was abandoned. Inside it is a square box with low ceilings. The tables and chairs are black with white table cloths. There is not much decoration. The service was good (fast). It seats about 90. There were three other dining at 6pm. I don't love vegetarian food, but, I have to admit I felt energized all night after eating here. Too bad I'm not that concerned with my well being. They get a plus for $1 sodas and a minus for not accepting AMEX or giving a receipt.

Daily News, Downtown - Closed

I got a burger to go at this raggedy coffee shop on Magnolia on Wednesday. It was $5 and came with toppings, fries and a soda. Let's just say that the patty (of all things) was the star. It was fat. It wasn't overcooked. It didn't give me the squirts. The toppings were wilted. The fries were half cooked. But, it was closing for the day. At 2pm! Anyway. If you like low prices and an old fashioned breakfast/lunch experience give it a go. It doesn't have much in the way of style. It's a true greasy spoon. It seats about 40. They deliver. The waitress was very courteous and may I dare say a little sexy too.

Java Lava, Downtown

I had lunch at this coffee shop on Robinson (near the Court House) on Wednesday. I had a buffalo chicken salad combo for $9. It was supposed to come with soup and a soda. I never got the soup. The salad was large. It was surprisingly fresh. It was a little weird to have feta cheese in a salad covered by blue cheese dressing. The chicken in it was that horrible faux, soy, lips and dicks chicken gruel. It was covered by that horrible orange, buffalo dressing. You order they bring it to the table (but you get the soda). The place seats about 80. It was full. I think everyone was associated with a law firm or a juror. It's no-frills. Not quite cafeteria like, but, strip away some of the mustard color paint and homey touches and you could get there. They have Greek options, wraps, dogs, desserts and coffee.

Grease, Wayne Densch

I saw this musical in Sanford on Friday night. Let me say that I have seen the movie hundreds of times, but, I had never seen it on stage. I think the stage book is better. Even the contracted scenery made more sense. Most of the singing (save Sandy) was passable. The acting and dancing was another story. Danny, Rizzo and Sandy were particularly bad. Doody was visibly gay. He looked like Will Forte. He squealed like a queen. He did sing and dance well (shocker). I do have to applaud the director's brave decision to see what a musical would be like if he placed his least talented actors in the leads. Here's a tip. Don't assign roles based on head shots. The audience made it up about 2/3 rds of the way up the orchestra seating. The best thing about it was watching the little kids eyes grow as big as saucers whenever something blue was said on stage. Tickets were $18.

Efes, Sanford - Closed

Last Friday I had dinner at this new Turkish restaurant in the Marina. I have to begin by stating that I don't think it will a success any more than any of its predecessors. And the issue is price. They price like a fine French restaurant and Middle Eastern food can be made with a camp fire and a stick. It's shepard food. The lowest priced entrees were $15. Some items broke $30. This is just too much for the neighborhood and a cuisine that is peculiar to an American palette.

Now for the review. I had Adana Kebab made of ground chicken for $17. I think Adana's are supposed to be a bit more spiced than the Kafte Kebab I think I got in it's place. What can I say about it? It was two skewers of a flattened, meatloaf like, kabob. No real taste. It came with white rice (overcooked) and piles of pickled cabbage, carrots and one other (I forget). I'm never sure what to do with these after thoughts. Do I mix them in? Do I use to cleans my palette? They aren't really necessary for either and they come in such big quantities that you feel bad for leaving them uneaten. The service was good. I had barely any time and they got me in and out. There was some unpleasantness getting a seat (tried to usher me to the bar in an empty restaurant and sat me under a dripping pipe). But, once I ordered it was fine. They even gave my some Turkish delight on the way out. The place is mostly like it was under the old establishment (Italian place). I think they painted the trim black and changed the seats. It looks nice. It's on the water (swamp but it's the best the area can do). I think I overheard the owner saying she started Bosphorous in Winter Park. It seats about 40 on the patio and 60 inside. I just don't see a bunch of Crackers and Retirement Home customers paying these prices. I saw a couple look at the menu and leave. Maybe it was the type of food. Maybe it was the prices. I just think that's a deadly combination. I hope it's not. But, I wouldn't go back unless the have a $7 lunch special like at Anatolia's.

Izakaya Toshi, Altamonte Springs

On Wednesday I had lunch at this Japanese restaurant on 434 just off 436 (the spot where there was a Hotties for five minutes). I had their 3 Roll Special for $9. I chose an Alaska (smoked salmon and avocado), a spicy escolar and a Kamikaze (tuna, escolar and salmon). All were ok. They were wrapped a little sloppily. The rice was a little flaky. The rolls were long and thin (8 pieces). The fish was fine. Real salmon is always preferable to smoked. All in all I liked three things about the place and disliked three. I liked the fact; that it was run by Japanese people, the food was ok and the price were in line with most places of this kind. I didn't like; the slow service, the bad decor and the fact that don't take AMEX. The place is old. The furniture is a bit of a melange. It is however conducive to the theme. They have a lot of prep items in eyeshot. Not nearly as fine as the reviewer in the Sentinel described. Not a destination spot. OK if you live or work in the neighborhood. Then again Crazy Buffet is a few feet away and it's all you can eat for a few dollars more.

Gringos Locos, Downtown

I had to try this Mexican restaurant on Washington more out of curiousity than out of hunger. I got a Quesadilla for (I swore it was $5 but the menu says $7.50). It was stuffed with cheese and salsa and a side of sour cream. Perfectly acceptable. It's a small place. Grunchy chic. The menu is irreverent. They stay open until 3am. Since we have been limited to dogs and pizza, I predict it will find an audience.

Club Crawl - The Lodge

11pm-2pm: The Lodge. After deciding that it is insanity that most of these dives charge a cover, I couldn't convince myself why I should play "girl" roulette and just settled in at The Lodge. They have easy enough access to cheap beer, the crowd is usually acceptable and the music is good. Plus I just saw Hot Tub Time Machine so the 80's theme was in the air. It was a good night. Handsome crowd. Not too packed. If they could just 86 the smoking.

Beard Papa's, I Drive

On Friday night I had a snack at this desert shop in the Prime Outlets Mall on I Drive. They had cream puffs and molten chocolate cake and ice cream and these bite sized mounds of ice cream covered in a jelly shell. I had a Lychee for $1.75. It was interesting. Like a Klondike Bar covered in fruit roll up rather than chocolate. Give it a go. It doesn't melt all over your hands. A plus in this climate. Challenger for "What the F" name of the year. Some one clue us in.

Kafe Kalik, I Drive

On Friday I had dinner at this Bahamian restaurant in the Prime Outlets Mall at the end of I Drive. I had Calamari and Conch Frito for $9. Two large slices of conch. A bit chewy. A nice pile of calamari. Not oily. Didn't need the marinara sauce (actually a bit off theme and unnecessary). It also came with a little salsa with Bahamian peas. I also had a piece of conch sushi for $2.25. Thin slice. Not crunchy (fresh). Over vinagered rice. I finished with a West Indies Curry Crunch Roll for $8. Nice. Filled with cooked Mahi-Mahi, cucumber, avocado, and topped with two sauces and crunchies. The menu swung from burgers and ribs to fish and sushi. They also have an outdoor bar with loud island music. It seats about 30 by the kitchen (exposed), 30 in the inside bar and 50 outside. The decor is plausible for an island theme. It is new and clean. The service was fast and concerned. It's not the cheapest option in the world, but, they did have $6 burgers if you bring the kids and parking is free. They do address a form of cuisine that is under served. Name 3 Bahamian restaurants. How about 2? One? A notch below authentic, ethnic dining or sushi. But I applaud the attempt to fuse. Akin to a Bahama Breeze. A little more creative, but, as I recall the Breeze had better execution (maybe because they didn't attempt sushi).

Wrap Planet, Winter Park - Closed

On Wednesday I got a meal to go (for dinner) at this sandwich shop behind the 7-11 on Fairbanks and Park. It's new (2 weeks). I had a Rocking Rollins Wrap for $6. It was guacamole, pumpkin seeds, turkey, steamed vegeatables, and ranch dressing. Not sure the Ranch fit, but, I'm sure some fatties have to put it on everything. I could have also lived without the peppers (hate 'em) and the cubed turkey. Even sliced turkey loaf is better than this turkey spam that you have probably encountered in cheap super market salads. It even has a gross mouth feel. The wrap was large. The place is small and is not allowed to seat anyone because the local zoning board requires they rent parking spaces to comply. Nice lobbying landlords. They serve breakfast wraps, desert wraps, vegan wraps, regular wraps, salads, soups, tacos, and smoothies. They have some unique concoctions. The decor is hip. It's clean. The staff is pleasant. You could do worse Tars.

Trattoria Toscana, Winter Park

On Wednesday I had lunch at this Italian restaurant on Park Avenue (near the 7-11). I had a plate of Lasagna for $7 (rereading my receipt it seems they overcharged by 50 cents). I figured it would be the best way to sample the basic ingredients. The tomato sauce was bland. It tasted like it was just pulled staright from a can with nothing added. The lasagna noodles were passable. There was not a lot of ricotta. The mozzarella wasn't overly flavorful. The meat was bland. It was served as two pieces (however they weren't uniform so I don't know if the split one piece or pulled one piece out of who knows where). It wasn't exactly bubbling out of the oven. All and all it was average (slightly better than Sbarro). I believe it was also prepared in advance and reheated. It needed some flavor in the tomato sauce and meat. Cream might have helped. It deeply needed the parmesan kicker offered by the waiter. My service was good, but, I could see how others would feel differently as more and more people were seated. There was only one waiter. The place seats about 36 inside and 2o outside. It's a cozy space. The decor is old world. It was clean. I know it's very popular with the people who work in the area. It was full by the time I left. It was what I expected. Another middle of the road Italian place adored by people who have never been to the Boot. The bread was the highlight.

Italian Beefstro, W. 50 - Closed

I got an Italian Beef Sandwich (Dipped) to go at this Chicago style eatery on Wednesday. It was $5. Compared to Beefy King it was a step up, but, it was still rather bland. It was just roast beef and juice. That's not really a barrage of flavors (I know it's a tradition). I can't believe how bland the undipped sandwich would be. The roast beef seemed not overcooked, but, it just had no flavor. That said, they couldn't have been nicer. They packed everything separately for me so it wouldn't congeal on the way home. They also have subs (sausage, italian and meatball), salads and dogs. It looks like it's brethren in Chicago (not chic) with the exception of the TV's in the wall. It has outside seating. It seats about 40. Self serve. You can see the Orena (F Amway) from the parking lot. Stop in before the game because they stay open for you until tip off. Otherwise they close at 6.

Beefy King, 50

On Wednesday I had lunch at this sandwich shop on Bumby (2 blocks south of 50). I had a BBQ Beef meal for $7. It was disappointing for such a landmark. It was like a wet, tasteless Sloppy Joe. The best thing about the meal (sandwich, tots and soda) was the tots. The place looks like a fast food restaurant circa 1950. It seats about 70. It was full. I don't see what the attraction is. It's just mediocre mundane sandwiches.