Air Conditioning Tune Up Tutorial

I had a home inspector over a few months ago and he said my A/C was blowing low so I I had someone come and look at the system a few weeks ago. I compared a few offers that I received in the mail.

Top Quality - $49 (Diagnosis with one free pound of freon) Certified - $59 (Diagnosis) Sears - $39 (Diagnosis and filter) DBK - $69 (Diagnosis) Harell - $29-$49 (Service call extra) Home Depot - $38 (25 Point Diagnosis)

I went with Home Depot (outsourced it to ARS) because they described what they were going to do the best (over the phone and in the store). Plus I believed I had a leak after reading up on this stuff (will cut and paste the best article at the end) and knew it would be pointless to get the free freon.

A few tips before we get to the service call. 1. Freon or R22 will be outlawed by the end of 2014. The price has jumped from a few bucks to almost $100/lb in some areas. ARS quoted me $69. I probably have a 6-7 lb unit. Some of these guys were touting a free filter. They cost around $2 each in a package of three at Home Depot. By far the lowest price. Don't even think about buying them in a supermarket.

Service Call - He (pleasant fellow) came 1 1/2 hours late. He checked the freon with some kind of pressure gauge. Said I needed 75 lbs and was at 45 lbs. He couldn't add the freon because the added pressure would just force freon out at a greater rate than it does now. Logical. He then did some more stuff around the outside unit and unscrewed the cover to the inside burner. He scraped around the inside, but, did none of the heater inspections or servicing promised by HD. I didn't complain because I know it is fine. He then went back outside and attached a wet vac to clean out the drain pipe. He said he drew out dirty water. I didn't see the wet vac before he used it so I hope it wasn't a slight of hand. I didn't really care at this point because I had just wanted to confirm that I was low on freon and have a leak. The whole process took about an hour.

Impressions - I think this service is a waste of money even if they do what is promised. If you have low output, you have a leak and need to schedule a leak search. They offered one for $280. I have to shop around for a better price. The search doesn't include a repair. Lord knows what they quote for that. The inspection (if done properly) was supposed to help a little (see cut and paste below). My tech said I would see no difference. It made me wonder if he did all the things that he was supposed to. He also said that those commercials for cheap units from Appliance Direct only are sold to commercially licensed customers. I'll have to check on that because they were advertising units around 2k and all the other ones either don't list or I think list around 6k and then give a rebate.

Helpful Article from the Internet...

Air-Conditioning Tips, original prior to 1990?? Edited 07-17-2010 Edited 03-25-12 Edited 07-25-13 The information will help you stay cool and save money by keeping your A/C running at peak performance. It will help assure that your Air-conditioning is keeping you as cool as possible and working and cooling as efficiently as possible while saving you money. And help you decide if you need a professional to service your Air-conditioning system.

(1) Air filter(s) MUST be clean. Filters are located in the return air duct adjacent to the air handler or in a return air grill(s) in your wall or ceiling. Check your air filter every 30 to 90 days to make sure it is clean. Depending of the house, i.e. if you have animals you may need to clean or replace the air filter(s) more often. (Go clean them now!)

(2) Flip the switch or push the button on the thermostat for the fan setting to FAN ON, not AUTO. This will run the indoor fan nonstop. The outside A/C unit will still cycle with a call for cooling from the thermostat. The constant air moving will keep you cooler. You can probably keep the thermostat a degree or two higher than normal and still feel comfortable. You will also maintain a more even temperature between upstairs and downstairs. This will SAVE you MONEY because the outdoor condenser will not come on as much!

(3) Make sure that you wash the outside condenser coil once a year. If it's dirty the A/C will run hot and inefficient. A sign of the coil being dirty is the small exposed copper pipe (tubing) line, usually 3/8" O/D connecting the inside unit with the outside unit will be HOT to the touch.

(4) If the small exposed 3/8" copper pipe connecting the inside unit with the outside unit is hot to the touch there can be several reasons why; (a) A/C is low on refrigerant. (b) The outdoor condenser coil is dirty. These are the two most common reasons for it to be hot to the touch.

(5) "Warm Rooms" on the lower levels of the house where it is cooler cut back / partially cut off some vent registers (Diffuser) but do not close them off all of the way, doing so could interfere with the static air pressure (air balancing of the system.) Make sure that all the ones on the upper floors where it is warmer are open all the way! Also, see paragraphs #2 & #9.

(6) "Doors" if you close the door to a room make sure that there is about a 3/4" gap between the bottom of the door and the floor. You may have had carpet put down on the floor and now there is no gap. This is necessary if you have a central return air duct in the hallway. The return air ducts need to pull the warm air from the room.

(7) Never leave the house and turn OFF the A/C. then come back home and turn it on and expect it to cool the house anytime soon. Doing this will not allow the unit to cool down the house for several hours. You can set the temperature up five to ten degrees but NOT OFF. This is because of Latent heat buildup in the walls and furniture in the house and will make the A/C work harder to remove the heat, this takes a long time.

(8) Never turn the A/C off than back on in less than five minutes, this will short-cycle the compressor and can trip breakers, blow fuses, or cause permanent damage the compressor. You should have a time-delay install on the A/C to prevent this during power outages! Most digital programmable thermostats have a time-delay of 3-5 minutes built-in. Having a start capacitor and relay is a good idea. This will increase the life expectancy of the compressor by starting faster thus keeping motor electrical windings temperature down, using less electric to start.

(9) Keep blinds closed, curtains drawn, window shades down. A working attic fan would be a good idea. Plenty of insulation in the ceiling & walls. Air tight storm windows. Keep outside doors and openings close, etc.

(10) Ceiling or other fans are a good idea, they can keep the air moving and make you feel cooler. Ceiling fans also help with keeping the temperature more even between the floor and ceiling. Note: during the summer ceiling fans should be blowing the air in the downward direction, but in the winter you would reverse the air direction to blow upwards and at a much lower speed.

(11) "Icing of the indoor coil or the large insulated covered copper pipe. There are two main reasons for this, lack of air flow or low on refrigerant. Lack of air flow can be a dirty air filter, dirty indoor evaporator coil, dirty fan blades, damper in duct restricting air flow.

(12) "Water inside around air-handler." The condensate line is a drain pipe coming from the indoor evaporator coil to an indoor drain or to the outside. This can become clogged and cause water to backup and can produce about five gallons of water an hour. This is where all the humidity and moisture from the house goes. This is usually a 3/4" white PVC plastic pipe.

(13) You should NEVER need to add refrigerant (Freon) to a system, if you are adding refrigerant this means that there is a refrigerant leak in the system that NEEDS to be fixed! (Why KILL the Ozone layer?) and running your system low on refrigerant can cause damage.

(14) Checking the cooling with a thermometer. There should be a 15-20 degree (Delta-T) temperature drop across the indoor coil at the air handler. Check the temperature drop in the duct close to the coil, if air coming into the coil is 75 degrees than the air leaving the coil should be 60-55 degrees. If it is higher or lower there is probably something wrong. Too high of a drop, IE more than 20 degrees drop, could mean lack of air flow or low on refrigerant. Less than a 15-degree drop could mean too much air flow, dirty outside coil or low on refrigerant.

(15) Never cover the A/C (Outside unit) with plastic or an air tight cover; this will cause it to rust.

(16) Do NOT let animals (Cats) (Dogs) etc. Urinate on the outside coil. This will cause it to corrode (rust) and then leak refrigerant.

(17) Keep grass, leaves & weeds from blocking air flow on the outside A/C.

(18) Do NOT build a deck close to the top of the outside A/C or anything else that could cause the warm discharge air to re-circulate back to the unit.

(19) Fuses, Circuit Breakers and wires should never be hot to the touch; if they are hot you may have a sizing problem or a loose or bad electrical connection. (20) You can stop hear, the rest may not interest you.

When you need to have your equipment repaired/serviced make sure you use a licensed contractor who should be insured and obtain permits from city/county officials when required/necessary. Or a member of the (PHCC) Plumbing, Heating, Cooling Contractors Association. PHCC contractors are professionals who adhere to a published code of ethics that improves the industry and protects your health, certified by the State Board of Contractors. They also have licenses, bonds, insurance and obtain permits when required by local municipalities. The PHCC logo is your assurance of quality in this profession! Isn't your health & safety worth it? It should be! Call 1-800-533-7694 for more information about the PHCC.

Air-Conditioners DO NOT add cool air. What they do is move warm air from the inside and transfer it outside. R-22 & R-12 ETC.. Refrigerant is a manmade product invented by DuPont and given the trade name FREON. Warm air travels towards cool air. So saying close the door I am trying to keep the heat out would be correct. Warm air rises.

The temperature of refrigerant is directly relate to the pressure it is at and vise versa, ie. R-22 at 0 psi is -40 degrees below zero or at 60 psi it at 32 degrees. This is misleading; the temperature change is NOT related to pressure really, but almost totally tied to the change from a liquid to a gas. When liquid Freon is expanded to a gas it gets really cold (latent heat of evaporation) and when the warm gas is compressed to a liquid it gets hot. The temperature change in say compressing liquid Freon to a higher pressure (adiabatic compression) is small. You see the same effect when you crack the valve on a CO2 or propane bottle for example. You will get a smaller effect with a pure gas, like when you fill a Scuba tank it gets warm or drain it quickly the valve gets cold right at the expansion point, but this effect is not great enough to run an AC system.

The physics of phase change from a gas to a liquid and vice versa drives most weather as well, for example.... With water it takes as (I recall) 560 (or was it 590...) times as much energy to boil water from 100c liquid to 100c gas as it does to raise the same amount of water 1c in temperature. Freon is less dramatic than water in terms of this energy amount, but it boils at a much more convenient temperature for human AC units than does water. If you wanted the inside of your house to be 100c you might want to run water in your AC.

FYI only. ***************************************************** Keep in mind that heat goes toward cold and not cool to heat. All the A/C compressor does is pump vapor to create a high and low pressure, ie. A low pressure at the inside coil for a low temperature for the refrigerant to absorb the heat in the house and a high pressure at the outside coil to give off the heat the refrigerant absorbed from the inside coil to outside. Over sized A/C will run short cycles and not remove the humidity and moisture from the house, an under sized unit will not be able to keep the house cool on a hot day. You MUST be careful to get the correct size A/C for your house. A/C's are sized by tons; there are 12,000 BTU'S to a ton of cooling. ("Ton" means 12,000 BTU'S of heat is needed to melt one 1 ton (2,000 Pounds of ice) You need to move 400 CFM of air per ton of cooling across the indoor coil. 450 CFM for Heat Pumps. Each CFM (Cubic foot per minute) of air will carry 26.7 BTU's of cooling. You need a heat-gain calculation done per room to get the proper (CFM/BTUs) to be delivered to each room and the total (Tons/BTUs) needed to cool the house based on designed weather conditions in your area.

The above is my personal opinion and advice, please feel free to obtain other opinions as I may have got something wrong. (I am sure if I did you will let me know)

Food Truck Bazaar - Sanford: La Empanada, Caro-Bama BBQ and Swededish

I ate from these food trucks on Saturday night. They were near the harbor.

La Empanada - I shared a trio of empanadas (chicken, beef picadillo, mac and cheese)for $9. All were great. Pastry was light and non-greasy. Probably egg roll wrapper. Made to order. A great start to the night.

Caro-Bama BBQ - I shared a brisket sandwich with Alabama white sauce (vinegar and mayo) for $7. My first white sauce. Fine, but, classic is better. Nice smoked brisket. Good second step.

Swededish - Grinding halt. Let me start by revealing that I'm half Swedish and I went with my full Swedish first gen cousin. We both hated it. Agreed that it was a piss poor representation of Swedish cooking. I had a Leif (meatballs, mashed potatos and cucumber salad) for $9. The meatballs were dense as gob stoppers and tasted like the salisbury steak you can buy frozen for $1 from Banquet. I had one and through the rest (5) out. Mt mother is a terrible cook and these made me long for her meatballs. The potatos were watery (not buttery like The Bite opined). I thought they might be mix in the bowl powdered, but, I think they were just poorly made. The cucumber was ok. My cousin had a Odin Sandwich (roast beef)for around the same price. It came with nothing. She took a bite or two and threw it out. I think she only ate what she did because I was so pumped to finally find this truck. Once again I apologize for my people. Swedish cuisine is trying to shake a poor reputation and this truck set us back decades. The menu isn't even a good representation of Swedish food.

Grub Crawl - Antiques District: Santiago's Bodega, Cindy's Tropical Cafe (Closed) and The Hammered Lamb (Closed)

I ate at these restaurants around the Antiques District on Wednesday.

Santiago's Bodega - I was sitting at this tapas restaurant on Virginia (between the antiques district and downtown) preparing a diatribe against tapas in general and this place in particular, when the food came. I had a Spanish Board for $12. I was expecting some yellowfin debris and some greasy potatoes and a grisely piece of pork and an unsatisfied tummy. I received a nicely marinated yellowfin ceviche, an unbelievably tasty pot of potatos and a superb piece of pork loin. The ceviche was done correctly with citrus juice. The pieces were lightly seared. Not drowned in caustic liquid. The portion was huge. Around ten ounzes on fish cut into three large junks. It was complimented with onions, avocado, mango and herbs. The potatoes had some heat and worked to balance the ceviche's brightness. The pork (pincho) came on a skewer and added savouriness. It came with a chutney (with mango pieces on top) that added sweetness. It was cooked perfectly. A fully rounded, smartly conceived meal. I've talked to others who have eaten here and the staff and they confirm the portion sizes here redeem the name of tapas. I find they usually charge you post-sushi level prices for hors d'oeuvres. Some just picked from a can. A real curiosity and a possible explanation for their continual fiscal incompetency. It's just too much for what they barter in exchange. Not here though. Each dish is a meal unto itself. The selection is less than Ceviche downtown, but, they have a fair selection and serve much larger portions. They even throw in some Greek elements. The place has an outdoor patio that seats around thirty, a bar that seats about forty and a skinny main room that seats fifty. The place has that Spanish ranchero feel. It's a little gypsy-ish with its bric a brac and chandelier melange. The ceiling is brown. The walls are burnt earth tones with yellow and red elements. The wall art was a bit odd. Like a modern El Greco collection. The service was responsive enough to handle the other rooms and myself. I had been waiting for them to open for a while and I'm happy to say I was not disappointed. Worth finding.

Cindy's Tropical Cafe - I had a small Cuban sandwich to go for $5 from this cafe on Virginia. I ate it for dinner. Pefectly fine. The place is kind of a dump. It has been under this ownership for thirteen years and around forever. They serve some special Cuban meals on Tuesday and Thursday. The rest of the time it's menu is basically cheap deli fare.

The Hammered Lamb - I had a lamb pita to go for $10 from this pub looking spot on North Orlando. It was unbelievable and capped a good day of eating. The lamb was served pulled pork style in a pita. They must have cooked it in all spice or cumin. It had wonderful flavor. The pine nuts added another element. It came with an ok cold penne pesto salad. I should have ordered ten and frozen them. I'd go back just to try that again. Since it's the only pulled lamb dish I have encountered in the area, I would recomment you go just for that. They seem to also have a perfectly acceptable bar as well. It has an outdoor patio and plenty of games of skill inside. The menu is limited (ten items or less), but, some it had some interesting combinations. Good find. They have been open for just under a year. Parking is a pain. Try the park lot across the street if you get desperate.

Oblivion Taproom, 50

I stopped in here for a beer and ended up supplementing the meger dinner I had just had. The place answers the question - what would happen if you combined a Dungeon and Dragoners den with a Heavy Metalers garage and served alcohol. I had a Seaside Tony for $13. It was nasty. It's my own fault. I had to try something called pork roll that they had on another sandwich for $10 and I decided to try out their burger for you for the extra $3. They originally brought me out another burger that had pulled pork, onion rings and bacon. It looked phenomenal. It was a foot high and beautiful. My slop had the pork roll, cheese whiz and a fried egg on it. Pork roll is salty spam (or was it sperm). The burger was disappointing. It split horizontally. I think they are of the school that says smush it to get a good crust. I say it dries it out. In any event, it wouldn't hold together. Maybe the mix (brisket, pork and something else) is not fatty enough to bind it. It came with some decent french fries. I also tried a lager from Cask and Larder. It sucked. Makes your mouth pucker. Way too much hops. This seems to be a popular flavor profile among small batchers. I don't get why. It tastes like herbal tea not beer. The service was good. The crowd was interesting. The girls had more tattoos than the guys and more than a european soccer jersey. A group of people in fox costumes meandered in. The TV's showed sci-fi/horror shows not sports. It is an intriguing alt option with some decent food. They have a lot of microbrews and imports and even more cider. They (not the bar) say it's going to be the next thing. so I guess they are ahead of the curve. The place is near 436. I'd go for the bird watching.

Kabooki Sushi, 50

Run by the son of the owner of a sushi restaurant (Bangkok Square) in the now torn down strip mall across from UCF. I had 2 orders (2 pieces) of salmon for $4 each, 1 order of scallop for $5, one order of wagyu beef for $7 and one order of baby octopus for $4. They were out of conch. The salmon was fresh and fatty. The serving size was a little small. It was a short cut and not as thick as a cut that length should be. The scallops lacked flavor. They had not lost their chill from however they were stored. The wagyu was a lark. I think I've only had beef sushi once before. It could have been any breed of cow. One piece was ok - one was a little gristly. Both were cooked medium rarish. The baby octopus was a sub for the conch and ended up being the best. Very fresh. The heads had a snap. The rice needs some work. All the nigiri pieces fell apart to easily. Maybe water the fingers more or press a little harder. The place is smallish. It probably seats 60. They have a big open kitchen that takes up half the area. There is a sushi bar between it and the dining area. There are four booths on the left, a bunch of tables on the right and some in between. The decor is Japanese modern. The way they hang the art is perplexing. Some are hung real high. There are blank spaces that could fit a canvas. All in all it is clean and acceptable if not inspiring. The prices are in line. The service was good. There were eight others there eating at 9pm. They have some Thai dishes (Mom runs Thaitanic Sushi so there must be some Thai relationship). The appetizers have entree prices. The menu doesn't really have any unique, signature draw. And that is the draw back. It doesn't wow you by its look, execution or location. It needs a reason besides proximity for people to trek here.

Grub Crawl - 50 & Mills: Gigi's Cupcakes, Thuyen Vien, Chewy Boba Company, Noodles and Rice and Bubbles and Ice

I ate at these place that are around Mills and 50 last Wednesday afternoon.

Gigi's Cupcakes - Although a chain of over 70 storefronts, they produce like an artisinal shop. I had a daily special Chocolate Bourbon Pecan cupcake for $3.50. It was very good. I could have lived with out the extra layer of mousse-like frosting, but, I'm sure others will shoot me for suggesting it. They do around ten types of cupcakes a day. The to go box probably costs them 50 cents (but don't trust me because I've never worked in the industry, so, I can't be trusted) and has a nice molded cup for it to sit in. It's at the back of the strip mall that houses Total Wine on the right side.

Thuyen Vien - I had an order of summer rolls to go (3) at this vegetarian spot with an affiliation with an order of monks who live nearby. It cost $3. They were ok. The had faux chicken in them and came with a peanut sauce. The rolls were large. They said they are playing down the religious affiliation and have recently refurbed the eating area and the kitchen. I think I had eaten there once before, but, it looked much different than I remembered. They really just serve a few apps and noodle bowls. Friendly. In the alcove in the middle of the first set of shops off Mills - on the southeast side. It seats about 20. Not a destination spot.

Chewy Boba Company - Another place I had been before that had a slight remodel (the entrance way). I had a regular boba tea for $4. It tasted like coffee water (like it's supposed to). They now serve macaroons imported from a chichi shop in NYC. They also serve teas and slushies. One shop closer to Mills than Thuyen Vien.

Noodles and Rice - I had lunch at this most unimaginative sounding hot pot restaurant on Mills (closer to 50). They have other things, but, hot pots are the draw. It's like a fancier Hotto Potto without the offal. I had chicken/shrimp/straw mushrooms/wood ear mushrooms in a miso broth. The broth was $4.50 and maybe a little bland. The chicken was $3 - nice portion and quality. The shrimp was $4 - 3 nice quality and 1 mushy served head on. The straw mushrooms were $2 and seemed overly washed and were tasteless. The wood ear mushrooms were $1 and were julianned and tasteless. I tried to add a layer of flavor by adding an element between every half bowl I ate. I never achieved it with the elements I selected. I tried to supplement the main components with things from their condiment bar. I used aged soy, pickled cabbage and hot chili oil, but, I failed. It was fun anyway. Most components cost under $3. They have 7 broths. It seats about 90. It's nicely decorated. I believe they use those Nuwave hot plates. I'm not sure if it is destination worthy, but, it's fun if you live reasonably close by (ie downtown or Winter or College Park).

Bubbles and Ice - This rhymed dessert sister (same owners) of Noodles and Rice serves liquid refreshments and desserts from $4-$8. It's next door. I had a red bean slushie for $4. It melted before I could try it. The melted concotion was not potable. It seats about 40. It has a modern look.

Tabouli's Grille, Altamonte Springs

I had a greek chicken pita to go for $7 from this Middle Eastern grill in the Uptown Altamonte project (near WOB) last Wednesday. It was repulsive. It was supposed to be shwarma (piled up chicken thighs on a skewer) style, but, the pieces were already in a metal box. They just reheated some stuff that tasted and affected my digestive system like it had been there for a long time. Maybe it was the gross tatziki or the vegetables. The pita even fell apart. The place looks unispiring. It's in a location that I think had a Nature's Table or some other fast food occupant. They just added some signs that define what these "foreign" words mean. Not that they have much to describe. It's like 5 salads and pitas or platters of the same stuff - gyro meat or chicken. I would avoid.

Kiko, Winter Park

I had a spicy tuna roll to go for $6 at this former Gizmo's last Wednesday. I wasn't about to re-visit a copy cat sushi restaurant that replaced another that I had been to in the same location. The roll was ok. A decent amount of acceptable tuna positioned in the front of the roll to appear more generous than it was. The defect of the roll was the kind of hot pepper paste they use. It was sriracha. I just don't think it works with raw fish. The place has removed the fish tanks and much of the character of Gizmo (which wasn't much). It's a pretty bare bones effort and they need to keep their paperwork out of site. This is not your office. It is our dining area/fantasy world. The menu crossed out the two things that could have made it step away from being just another sushi trap. They had an all you can eat option and they delivered. No more. So what we have left is a typical array of fish, teriyaki, tempura, katsu and dombura and stir fry. The prices are high and per one piece (ie YT = $3). I didn't eat enough too recommend or not, but, it would be an all food play. And it better be supremely fresh and largely portioned to compete with the host of other places that are even below their price points.

Tex Mex Evaluation

I want to compare five Tex Mex places that most of you probably have in your town. The hope is that the weak points of each place will be addressed. I'll do it by their daily special days. You should probably avoid them on other days. A tad expensive for what they provide. They think they are in a class above KFC, BK, Mc, but, they aren't. Chipotle and Qdoba think they are above discounting. They should be avoided as much as possible. They don't even include chips in any of their meals.

Monday - A big day at Moe's and Lime. It's a burrito brawl all day long. Moe's weighs in with the bigger portion size and since it is prepared in front of you they seem to give you more. They also allow pork or steak. Lime has a tiny burrito and only lists ground beef and chicken as choices. I talked with the cashier and she said steak was also a possibility, but, I don't like that they are either too stupid to have clear menus or they are trying to pull one over the customer by hiding it. They also have sour cream on the menu and then they ask you if you want it because it's not programmed right in the computer. Get it fixed. Both come with chips and salsas. Both could do a better job with regards to fresh salsa. The fact that everyone cross contaminates the bowls with their own germs makes me reach for the bottled stuff every time. At least then my only worry is what the ass clowns at the dirty factory did to it. Both places charge $5.99 (Lime is now $6.99 and Moe's is $6.49) and include a soda. Moe's cup is bigger. Lime's usual small price for a soda is over $2. Lime's steak is more tender than Moe's. Both have salty, nasty ground beef. Moe's chicken seems more real. Less Spam-y. Lime's is similar to Qdoba's.

Tuesday - Now it's Lime versus the inventor of Taco Tuesday - Tijuana Flats. Lime tries to match the two tacos and chips and drink for $4.99 (now $5.99). Lime's tacos are smaller. I forget if they pull the "hide the steak" manoeuver here. I like Flats by a nose here. Better ingredients. Slightly bigger servings. Usually hotter waitresses. Lime is less packed. I think Flats is now up to $5.69.

As you see, you should get your Tex Mex jones on Monday or Tuesday. Go to Taco Bell on the other days. Moe's wins Monday (even if they need to reduce the salt in their meat). Tijuana Flats wins Tuesday. Chipotle has good Barbacoa. However, its lack of chips is penny wise pound foolish. Same with Qdoba. I'm always still hungry when I leave those places. Qdoba doesn't even have a hook like good barbacoa. It is the worst value of the five. Lime, at least, is in the game. They just need to be a little less stingy and fix the bugs and make the menu intuitive. Moe's needs to compete on Tuesday and reduce the perservatives/salt in their food.

*went back to Lime a couple of times. They fixed some things and screwed up others. Burrito was bigger. Steak was now over cooked. Another time, chicken was now thigh meat and under cooked (caused digestive issues). Or maybe it was the corn salsa that did it. Also don't like the grilled flavor of the chicken versus the flat top at Moe's. I would have Moe's add a heartier salsa to their mix (ie corn and bean).

Florida's Seafood, Cocoa Beach

I had lunch at this seafood restaurant in Cocoa Beach (on 520) on Monday. I had a dozen and a half white shrimp for $10.99. They were supposed to be a specialty and more sweet. I asked for them steamed since any other cooking method for most seafood is a sacrilege. They wanted to broil them. They came to my table butterflied, so, I think they were prep-ed for broiling and they just put the plate in a steamer or some steaming device. The results were common place. Some were sweetish. Some were ammonia tasting. Either not so fresh or some kind of contaminant polluted the chain of evidence. They wanted you to dip them in melted "butter" (some chemical/oil substitute). I tried once and predicatably it negated any of the natural pleasnatness of the food that was dipped in it. If you use butter for shellfish you shouldn't be allowed to have it. The meal came with a wilty salad and a choice of vegetables. I chose a baked potato with sour cream (in pre-packaged servings) and dry, pre-cooked bacon. They also served some (4) fried sweet fritters dusted with powdered sugar. I don't get how these are supposed to compliment salty seafood, but, they were fresh. The menu is pricey for what it is. These places are the equivalent of mediocre Italian restaurants. Even though the ocean is right there and the place has little allure, they still charge way over $20 for most entrees. It's like living in Normandy and paying a euro for an apple. I don't get how the working class people they rely on to cough up forty bucks a person come up with the money. Everyone there looked like they were on social security, unemployment or food stamps. It's the same all over the seabord. I guess that's why they're poor. The place is a time capsule. It looks like it stepped out of the Fifties. It even has a tiki hut section. It seats about 100. There is a front bar area, a middle area with booths and that tiki area. The decor is mostly light wood surrounded by bad murals and fish tanks. It has every ironic cliche, but, it's not trying to be. The service (2) was fine. It is a little understaffed. The help is more on the recovering addict side of the scales than the Engish butler side. But, everyone needs a second chance and they were polite and professional. I would definetly NOT make a trek out here just for the experience. They advertised in My City Eats and I think that was a severe case of overreach. They are not of the caliber of most of the places they take advertising dollars from. It's a seafood joint. It's not a value. It has cooks not chefs. It is far away. It isn't even on the water (another place has the spot next to it and that "it" is an inlet not an ocean). All it has is fresh seafood. Go to your supermarket. Purchase something. Put it in a pot with an inch of water and wait 6 or 7 minutes. Or slap in on the 'cue or fry it up in pan. Hell, broil it if you must. You'll get superior results. FYI - I think Google improperly maps this place. It's all the way at the end of 520 on the right after the hospital (that is on the left). It's before A1A. Don't stop at Cocoa or Merritt Island.

Tortas El Rey, OBT

I had lunch (it's a drive thru) at this Mexican ex-Checkers location in between I-4 and Sand Lake on Tuesday. I had a chicken soft taco for $2 and a carnitas soft taco for $2. Fine. A little plain. Should have stopped there, but, I was starving after trying and failing to find another place and the place said it was the "king of Tortas". The Torta al Pastor I had was disappointing. I liked the roll and the toppings (mayo, lettuce, tomato, beans, etc), but, the "sweet pork" was mostly absent and tasted like bad Chinese food. They have a nice menu of sopes, hurraches, tacos, burritos, etc for a little place. It did take inexplicably long to get the food (you slap a scoop of pre-cooked meat on a bun). It's authentic. It has that going for it. Which is nice. They said it was Tijuana-style (insert donkey joke here). I wouldn't make a day of it, but, if you are in the area looking for crack whores and the crystal meth (or that new one - Molly) hasn't silenced your appetite, then by all means go for it.

Woodlands, OBT

I had a Mixed Vegetarian Pakora to go from this Vegetarian Indian restaurant in between I-4 and Sand Lake Rd on Tuesday. It cost $6. It was fine. It's fried veggies. The frying was ok. The portion was small and further disappointing because half of it was peppers (I don't eat) and half potatoes (boring). The place gets very good reviews so I'm not telling you to avoid it. I'm just saying what I had was average. I wasn't expecting to be blown away (why I didn't sit in) and it was about what I expected. A mostly Indian crowd in a re-purposed, old, cafe like environment that saves the extra penny by not taking AMEX. A food only play.

Hotto Potto, Winter Park

I had dinner at this Chinese "hot pot" restaurant at the intersection of Aloma and 436 (old strip mall with Friendly Confines) on Monday. I had: meat stock for $3.50, pork slices for $2.50, pork stomach for $2.50, duck feet for $3 and cuttlefish for $3. If you are wondering what goes down here, this is how it works. You order a broth (3 types) and then some animal parts to boil in. You can also get veggies and noodles too. You get a little bowl full of the aforementioned and drop them in the boiling stock. It's like The Melting Pot or Colorado Fondue Company (at a much lower price point). As you can deduce by my "unusual" melange of tidbits, they have a large variety of components. They are good for timid and ambitious appetites. You can replicate most of the standard Asian hot pots with a little creativity (they have a Tom Yum broth for example). So, it should appeal to any Asian "undocumented" immigrant and/or those who want to eat like them. No need to run to the eponymous section of town to partake. I won't bother listing the options. Go and get your mind blown. It's an episode of Bizarre Foods. I had never had duck feet (duck tongues, yes). They turned out to be fine. Alot like the delicate cuttlefish (the webbing) with extra crunch (the toes). And cuttlefish are basically squid. The pork stomach (had only had cow stomach to my knowledge) was predicatably chewy. The pork was fine. Thin slices of pork (not sure of the cut). The broth was good. It changes in taste as you add elements. I was confused a little by the suggested cooking times. I personally believe they are way too long. You'll turn all the meat into rubber. But, I guess they are worried about lawsuits. I was told - when it floats, it is good to go. Consult your nearest Google task bar to see who is right. I bet they say divide the baby in half (like all indecisive ajudicators). The decor is bland. I've yet to see a compelling disciple of interior design emerge from Chinese roots. It's all silk and gold and a nauseating obsession with a roccoco past. The orange seat covers instantly told me this place was Chinese. And if it wasn't that, it would have been their lack of awareness of what is appropriate and what is not. Industrial fish tanks - inappropriate. Children's high chairs - inappropriate. Etcetera. Hide that junk. Your dining room is not your store room. This isn't your home. This is a place of business where people want to escape from the troubles of their day. Don't ruin the illusion. The place seats about eighty in an older space (old strip mall). Most tables are tables of four with a hot plate in the middle. They have a bar up front and a private room down a hall that has a door that should remain closed. The crowd was mostly hipsters with their frumpy girlfriends. There was one table with Asian Dragon Ladies and another with muscled up, small time Korean Gansters and their white, stripper girlfriends. The service (2) was ok. A little slow (it's raw meat on a plate) and scatter brained (they brought me beef and forgot the cuttlefish and had to be asked for a soup ladle and bowl). All in all I liked it. Good pricing and variety. I think I can categorize it as a destination spot. But, only for the novelty of the experience. It's like a freak show. It's not high art, but, you know you'll leave with a queer look on your face and a smile in your heart.

Dylan's Deli, Winter Park - Closed

The final stop on my tour today was this "deli" near The Ravaneous Pig. It's another oversell by Bite magazine (so were the places in the preceeding blogs). The owner bragged about how eagerly his brisket was received by expert palettes. How the owner of 4 Rivers came to learn how it was done. I hate to be (actually don't mind at all) the bearer of bad news, but, it was dry, had no flavor and could have been regular roast beef based on its texture. He said they smoked it. No smoke flavor. He also "warmed" it for the sandwich. That turned the pieces exposed to the griddle into beef jerky. The french roll had the little "braille balls" on the bottom that you get from machine made bread. It was probably bought at Publix. Just amateurish. It came with some cheese and grilled onions. The high lights. It cost $7 and came with nothing else. It's a shame because the guy seemed nice and talked a good game. He seems to know what he should be doing. I guess that being French doesn't ensure you will be good behind the stove. Maybe this was an aberration. But, you can't talk such a big game and then "come weak" like that. The place is a little drab. It's like a dirty pub. Maybe it was because there were no lights on. It was empty at 2pm. It's really more of a sit down spot than a deli.

Yalaha Bakery, Antiques District - Closed

I bought two desserts at this German bakery near the ballet on N.Orange today. The "levain" store is in Yalaha (bakers will get the reference). I had a pecan square for $5 and a "sinkhole" for $4. The pecan part of the square looked like a rice krispie and was good. The pastry shell bottom was a little stale and unnecessary. The "sinkhole" was a circular brownie with a ganache/frosting puddle in the center. It was ok. A little stale too. The place looked promising. They had German preserved meats and bread and all manner of pastries. I just question their obsession/commitment with freshness. I would wager they don't toss out merchandise on a daily basis. Maybe you will time it right (or not notice).

Grub Crawl - Michigan Street: Mediterranean Blue (Closed) & The Sandwich Shop (Closed)

These two restaurants are on E. Michigan about a mile off 1-4. It's kind of a run down part of town that I doesn't have a restaurant that has ever knocked my socks off or been worthy of destination status. These two were not outliers. I ate lunch there today.

Mediterranean Blue - Everytime I have Greek food I lower them down a notch on the worldwide tennis ladder. It's a travesty that they are associated (diners) with food in so many parts of the country. Who encouraged this? I tried to go off page (Gyro is really the only thing they can do) and ordered the daily special. It was a Mahi Mahi "sandwich" in a pita. I was assured the fish was fresh. It wasn't It was frozen. It had freezer burn marks and tasted like bait. It didn't even look like Mahi. It must have been a baby based on the filet widths. Lots of people are accused of substituting this fish. We may have found proof. They put some unseasoned raw cabbage on it and an awful, pungent, salty tapenade. It accentuated the burnt residue of the pita. This thing was poorly conceived. The flavors they did offer didn't compliment. There were no levels of flavor. Sad. The pita was good. I ate a few pieces. Didn't want to ruin my appetite by eating more than I had to. It cost $8. The place is equally unassuming. It's a run down, square, low celinged remenant from the 70's. I've heard they "modernized" it. That means a coat of paint, some signage and a few framed photos. The menu is small (single digits) and basic. They have some "Italian" sandwiches (thinks cold cuts or caprese) and a "French" sandwich. That is the tour of Europe. I'd never go back. I can get a Gyro at Miami Subs.

The Sandwich Shop - They, sort of, salvaged the trip down here. I had a half of a Steak In The Grass sandwich for $6. It was roast beef and sauteed spinach and maybe some cheese (I had it to go and wasn't really paying attention as I wolfed it down driving away from the area). It was served warm. The sandwich did have levels of flavor (some garlic butter too). The portion of beef was large. I was going to question the pricing until I saw the portion size. A half is a real sandwich on its own. It came with an acceptable red potato salad (a little cup). The egg salad you could also choose from looked a little "filmy". The place is drab. It is part of an old strip mall complex. It is mostly kitchen. They have an alley space that seats about eight and another small space in front that may seat four. There is no effort given to interior decorating. It's a "business card on bulletin board" sort of place. They try to be creative with the sandwiches, but, most are staples given pithy names (and not to many of those). It's fine if you live in the area. 

Grub Crawl - Downtown: Benjamin French Bakery & Hyppo Gourmet Ice Pops (Changed to Pop Parlour - Closed)

I went to these two places around Lake Eola last Friday.

Benjamin French Bakery - This place is on Washington near Grafitti Junction in Thornton Park. I had a Tarte Chocolate and a Cannele. Both were very good (and I just came from Dominique Ansel in SoHo, Francois Payard and Maison Kayser Uptown). They used a nice bittersweet dark chocolate in the nice sized tarte shell. They added an artistic flourish to the top. The cannele was a little dense, but, it was my first one ever so I have no reference. I think they described it to me as a bread pudding. It looked like a mini Bundt cake. The place is small, but, they have a lot of dessert and non-dessert items crowded into the space. There is room to sit. The owners are from Bordeaux. The cannele was $1.89 and the tarte was $4.

Hyppo Gourmet Ice Pops - Thought I would roll my eyes at it, but, THE BEST POPSICLE EVER! I had a Riesling and Pear Pop for $3 (maybe $3.50?). Lots off pear shards. Fresh. Excellent. Great insouciance. It's after Metro Pizza acroos from Publix on the south side of the lake. Much better than the paletas I had in Nashville. *7/2/14 - now called Pop Parlor. I'm not sure what else changed.

Marsh Hammock BBQ, Downtown - Closed

I went downtown Friday after lunch because I had a rental car until 5pm and I hate driving my tank around there looking for a parking spot. On my way to my intended location (next blog) I spotted a new place on Orange. It turned out to be another barbeque place, so, I doubled down. I had a pulled pork sandwich for $7. It came with a side (I chose potato salad) and a drink. Excellent deal. Less than that shit hole Subway (you've got to see Jim Gaffigan's concert dvd on that topic in Mr Universe). The sandwich was good. A little over cooked/dry. The pork was marinated in sweet sauce. A big serving. Although, my spider sense did seem to think it may be prepared off site and served here. If that sort of thing bothers you. If it does, I hate to break it to you what most food trucks do. The potato salad must have been made with yogurt instead of mayo. It was too bright. It also had a lot of dill. The Diet Coke was fantastic. A real triumph. They should call this place 4 5 6 because they have 4 salads, 5 entrees (chicken salad, turkey/swiss, BBQ chicken breast, chicken legs and the PP) and 6 sides (beans, cole slaw, chips, broccoli salad, corn salad and PS). It small. It seats about thirty. It's counter service. It's clean and new. It's near Leo's Diner in the strip mall near the courthouse. It is a perfectly adequate substitute for any sit down meal option and a step up from any usual take out place in the neighborhood. I wonder if they have a place near Oviedo based on the name.

Cave Inn BBQ, Winter Garden - Closed

I had lunch at this new (June) barbeque spot on Old Winter Garden Rd at the southern end of Winter Garden last Friday. I was a bit apprehensive since it is so far from where I live and I didn't want to waste a day searching for bad barbeque. I'm glad I didn't chicken out. It's definetly a destination spot. Maybe my new number one barbeque place in Central Florida. 4 Rivers is still excellent, but, it traditional. This place is boundary pushing. Like an iron Chef judge, I give extra points for that. First off they don't smoke. I've only heard of one other place that doesn't sport wood (doesn't mean there aren't others) and that is Maryland. The owner isn't from there (Massachusetts) so we'll have to chaulk it up to ignorance or prejudice. I'd wager it's a life style choice. A preference for this style. You'll be questioning your own barbequ-ality after you try this. You might just turn bi (smoked and non-smoked). The brisket sandwich I had for $9 was delicious without the smoke taste. Just a cleaner beef taste. It came with a coarse chopped, vinegared, red cabbage slaw on Naan bread. The soft Naan wrapped itself around the slightly firmer meat like a pillowy blanket. It's charred sides competed a little with the meat, but when you dipped it into the bright jus they provided (can also get sauces), it was a perfect sum. The jus and slaw negate the char residue. The bread is also better than a roll because you can rip it into pieces and make small little finger sandwiches/gorditas that dip easier. They give you 8-10 centimeter thick pieces of meat (compared to 4-6 in some places). And it came with a side. I chose a baked potato. They serated it with a knife all over the top half. It looked like a bouquet of potato chips in a potato boat vase. The potato was a little under cooked and I'm not sure if toppings were extra, but, it made the asking price go from slightly expensive to a total bargain. The service was great. It seats about fifty. There were three others there. It looks like a barbeque place/hunting lodge. They have a bar and host live music. The menu has things like pulled pork and turkey drumsticks. It's small, so they have every opportunity to repeat a successful lunch or dinner service. It's the real deal. Inventive, unique dishes served well at reasonable prices. The one problem is that it is hard to find (in a strip mall behind a Walgreens) and it is small. Hopefully, that means they will have to open up additional locations across the county (or country).

Carmel Cafe, Winter Park - Closed

I had dinner at this oddly named Mediterranean chain from Tampa (it is at least not the first one) across from the old Houston's on 17-92 on Thursday. They opened in June. I had a small portion of beef short ribs and polenta for $11. I think the full portion was $17. The beef was very flaky and moist and the polenta was ok (a little loose). The portion WAS small. One little sqaure of beef and a coaster sized, centimeter high puddle of polenta. They have a range of African and European coast dishes. The most obvious ones. Prices stray towards the twenties. The parking lot and most of the restaurant was full. I had to sit at the bar. I probably could have sat at what looked like communal tables, but, I didn't see them until I sat down. The place seats about ten at the bar, thirty at the communal tables (in the middle), fifty in the back and sides and twenty on the patio. The place is reductive modern. You've seen this floor plan in a factory show room. It's from the chain restaurant handbook (modern section). The service was fine. The food came out really fast. They did the old "wait until the check comes before offering a refill" move. Not that I wanted one. It was a an ok "date". No sparks, but, no complaints either. Maybe we can be friends. They just opened for lunch a few days ago.