PSA - Bloating Triggers

According to television (and has it ever lied to you?) these foods/actions increase bloating:

Broccoli
Roast Beef (cured)
Turkey (cured)
Corn
Pears
Apples
Drinking through a straw

These counter-act bloating:

Sauerkraut
Cucumbers
Miso Soup

Reel Fish, Winter Park

I had lunch at this Ravenous Pig replacement yesterday. I suspect you understood (by the name) that it is a seafood restaurant. It has been open for over a month. I had a chilled peel and eat shrimp app for $10 and the ceviche of the day for $11. The shrimp (9) were iffy. They looked nice and fresh, but, they were soft and sticky and mouldering. All signs of age. I suspect that they cooked them on Friday. They were closed on Monday, so, Sunday would have been the closest day that they were prepped. If not, then they have some uncomfortable conversations ahead with their monger. Now realize that I didn't get ill from them. I just played Russian roulette and suffered through some pasty shrimp. The ceviche (of all things) was fresher. It was a mix of grouper and hogfish (snapper). They marinated (cooked) it with three juices (orange, lemon and lime). The orange tempered some of the bitterness. The portion size was generous. They added some onion, tomato and avocado. But, it was mostly fish. Plus the tomato was sweet (a necessary but almost ignored touch) and they cut the avocado into similar size pieces (another thing people are often too lazy to do). I don't like ceviche as a cooking method even when done properly. It's a primordial method of thinking and coping. Just serve it raw if you are going to go down this path. The result is always too bitter and the fish gets tough. And if they are too cheap to use fresh juice (or juice at all)! Forget about it. I've had it many times seared with vinegar! However, this is about as good as it is going to get. The rest of the menu (and why I ordered these prone to disappoint dishes) is pretty dull. The one interesting thing (a burger with fried oysters on top) was a special and cost $18. The rest of the menu (at least at lunch - I forgot to look at the dinner menu) consisted of fried calamari, fried fish (cod) sandwich, fish soup, salads (mostly non-seafood), chicken sandwich, fish dip and a few more "immemorables". The special was a fried hogfish. Now I never understood why someone wanted to open a seafood restaurant here with Winter Park Seafood down the street and Mitchell's, Lombardi's, and the one on Park Ave already established. And those were just off the top of my head and I don't live there. Plus that doesn't take into account the places that have some seafood on their menu or sushi restaurants. Seafood isn't priced for it to be an every day affair. It's an indulgence for most people (even in WP). And who would eat it every day anyway? Even Arthur Bach believed that "fish must awfully tired of seafood". Is there room for them? I heard them pitching the fried angle. If so, then you spent too much on the remodel (and likely the rent). Are you high end or low end? You look (and price) on the high end. I'm not saying that I didn't like you or that I didn't even prefer you. I didn't get a big enough sample size to tell. I just wonder who your market research guy was. This is a packed field.

The place is broken into three rooms. The bar. The main (middle) room. The raw bar/casual room. The ceiling is composed of those gilded/etched tiles that mimic a more glamorous era. The color scheme is white and black with touches of blue. The decor is a hodge podge. The overall look is appealing. Service was polite, knowledgeable and efficient. The china was new, white and modern. It was pretty empty at 1pm. Parking may be a problem.

It was what I expected. No better than its competitors in any discernible way. They need a hook to avoid becoming the Lorde of the bunch.

T Baar, Lake Mary - Closed

I had a honeydew melon milk tea at this Asian beverage outpost on Monday. It cost $3.50. It was fine. I'm not into milkshakes masquerading as health food like some of you perpetual pre-adolescents. This place (open three days) must be a chain I am unaware of. Everything seemed too honed. They took over the spot next to Cavallari's that been the demise of so many dreams in the past. Maybe they can stem the tide. The last Asian style dessert/beverage place in recent memory was Beard Papa's on 46. So, there is no competition in this sub-genre. They also serve smoothies, lemonade and non-milk tea. You can add in boba, etc. A new one on me were these jell-o like cubes they called jelly. They also listed (but did not display) a pastry.

The District, Sanford

I had dinner at this new American restaurant on 2nd St this Friday. I had tried to do lunch when it first opened, but, I was misled by an employee. They hadn't opened for lunch yet. The waitress said they are open now. You can still sense some of that new venture confusion. They opened about six weeks ago. The first thing that I was told was that it was a "scratch" kitchen and that things are cooked to order. Translation - the kitchen doesn't have it's act together yet. Didn't matter to me. I wasn't in a rush or hungry. Surprisingly, my meal was unaffected. I had the pork rib eye for $22. It was a plump, bone in "chop" with a berry (forget which) compote, Boursin flavored mashed potatoes and broccoli rabe. I don't love fruit with my meat (I remember being confused when Peter Brady asked for pork chops and apple sauce), I prefer vegetables. They also may want to reconsider the less is more maxim. However, can you really get overly mad at generosity? The potatoes were very good. They seemed to reverse gears here. The Boursin wasn't very noticeable. I wasn't longing for it anyway, so, it didn't change my opinion of the execution. The rabe (the odd reason I ordered the dish) was fine. Plain. Maybe some oil. Side note - rabe and a hoppy IPA is a toxic combo. The plating was more aesthetic than utilitarian. They piled the chop on the potatoes. You needed to rearrange things to cut the meat. The menu was smallish. Four apps and five mains. The apps were a deviled egg thing, tuna tacos, and two I've already forgotten. The main were shrimp and grits, filet mignon, a pasta (I think) and another dish so blase that I've forgotten it a mere three days later. And that is my main criticism. It's just so "normal". There isn't a real draw. Now, I know that bodes well for any new establishment around here. Not many suffer as much from gastronomic (and the regular kind) ennui as I do. Not many grave distraction. A nice, normal place has a place in downtown Sanford. The real competition in this genre is Smiling Bison and they aren't open for lunch and their experimental ethos (maybe it isn't anymore - I haven't been there in a while) and menu choices may scare people. Perhaps this the way to go. The Honda Accord isn't the best selling car because it's cutting edge. And the room was full when I was there. Speaking of the room. There is a bar room on the right. It has seats at the counter, a communal table in the center and two or three four tops at the window. The room on the right had a bunch of four seaters on the left wall, two two seaters and a group table in the center and a few two or four seaters on the right wall. The decor is cute. Uncluttered. The color scheme is mostly light blue and white with black tossed in. They are emulating that shabby chic/ farmhouse chic style that all the gastro pubs and modern southern places love. Like I said, I wasn't blown away. I didn't see one thing on the menu (an ingredient, a flavoring, a technique) that I hadn't seen (many times) before. The shrimp in the shrimp and grits I saw a few tables eating seemed tiny. The menu would be small for lunch let alone dinner. The bar had craft beer, but, most places do now. Sanford, alone, has two (about to be three) breweries and a few beer-centric bars. The place looked nice and the service was excellent. But, there are few places I return to because of my desire to see (eat) it all. I don't think District made a strong enough impression to lure me back, but, it's good to know it's there the next time I come to try out a new restaurant in Sanford that Yelp and Google say is open but really isn't. An entree will run you anywhere from $16 to $28. It's a pretty fair value.

*FYI - La Sirena Gordita is closed and Celery City took over the spot. They are also going to refurb their old space one door down. The new brewery isn't open yet.

Grub Crawl - Downtown: Taco 68 and Ruby's

I ate this places downtown on Sunday afternoon. Did you know that the parking (at meters) is free on Sunday?

Taco 68 - The Basement on Pine opened this around a year ago and they are down to two days (T for dinner and Sn after noon). I had the Court Avenue which was listed as steak for $9. It was brisket. The meat was plentiful, but, bland. They give you two soft tacos. They dress them with raw jalapeno slices, onions, cilantro and an avocado cream. They also serve it with a side of salsa and chips. That puts it past the penny pinchers at Chipotle. They also do a chicken, shrimp and a few pulled pork tacos. The apps are nachos, salsa, wings and waffle fries.

Ruby's - This place on Orange and Central was Whitewood or Fire or something then Baba's and now (four months) this. Still a Middle Eastern menu throughout. I grabbed an arayes with beef because I think I had never had one. It was ground beef on a pita. It was supposed to come with tzatziki, but, it was forgotten about. That hurt. It was ok. No real flavor. It cost $7. Nothing life changing going on here. At least they don't serve pre-formed gyro patties.

The only new things downtown were some taco restaurants that I will dispatch with soon. I walked to the soccer stadium. It looks hastily built on the outside. Already looks run down and cheap. A shame. I would like to take the opportunity to thank management for dispatching Brek Shea and bringing in some excellent defense men. Now if they can just 86 Poo Poo for some one who exerts himself and doesn't run like a girl with her arm flying left and right instead of up and down. Such a useless pretty boy. I'd rather have Marta.

Mama Mia's Pizzeria, Orlando

I had the two slice lunch special at this pizzeria near Hoffner on South Orange today. It cost $5. Two slices and a soda. The pizza was ok. It was probably day old and the cheese mix they used is bad (oily and curd like), but, it was thin. The crust was bone dry (day old I hope). They let you have a topping topped slice(s) at this price. They also do calzones, stromboli, wings, salads, subs and pasta. It's in a cute little round space. The pizza maker was a woman. Not sure if  I have seen many of those now that I think on it. If they improved the quality of the raw materials, they could have a nice pie. As it is, it is an ok NYC style approximation. They have been there since 1996. They say Orlando, but, I think it's Fern Park.

I have to apologize for the lack of reviews. It seems like every place on my list isn't as open as The Orlando Weekly et al would have you believe. Just wiffed on Mezo (a Med place that was supposed to be open in Baldwin Park) and a place in Sanford that I think is called Original that was supposed to be doing lunch. The stupid taco place on Lake Ivanhoe is still not open to the public. The two Asian places in Audubon Park don't seem anywhere near opening.

The Avenue Grill, Altamonte Springs

I got a gyro lunch special to go at this Greek restaurant on the way to Lake Brantley High School (off 434) Wednesday. It came with fries and a soda. The soda was the best and then the fries and then the gyro. The fries were crinkle cut. Pretty crisp. I think they steamed in the container. The gyro was bad. A thick, almost raw pita with pre-formed meat (unknown origin) covered with limp veggies and a pasty sauce. They said that they don't do enough business to have a rotating loaf to carve from. Chicken or egg? They also said that places that do just chuck that lump into a refrigerator every night and they don't want to do that. Not sure I'm going to order gyros anymore. The meal was cheap though. $6 - I think. They also do some dishes I'd be scared to order based on this sampling. Salmon, kabob and things I hope they misname (sound Chinese) like chicken/shrimp rice and stir fry. I think they said they opened seven months ago. The place used to be a pizza place.

Create Your Nature, Winter Park

I grabbed a salad at this healthy foods con game a few weeks ago. I only bought in because the fish restaurant nearby wasn't open for lunch yet and I had driven all that way. I had a small/half Kale-ifornia Dreaming salad for $7. I was ok. I don't hate kale. It also came with zucchini (dry), avocado (unripe), quinoa, and toasted chick peas (hard). Needless to say that the full Wendy's salad I had today at $5 with tax after a $2 coupon was a better value. And it came with chicken. This place is slightly different from the "heavy girls eating light" compatriots in that they serve oatmeal in addition to the salads and acai bowls. I guess they want to fleece in the morning as well. Or groom the kids of these Puppies. Maybe this is one of those perpetual infancy sort of appeals. Are these places popular because these retards don't see the parade of like minded charlatans that have preyed on them immemorial? Does anyone read history? See patterns? As Dean Wormer told Flounder (I believe) in Animal House, "Fat, drunk and stupid is no way to go through life". If he only could have envisioned that he could have been talking about MIWNFs (Mothers I Would Never Fuck) or hell - their daughters (who are often less in shape) in the twenty first century. I can't decide which I hate more - the sloth or the wastefulness. How hard is it to make a salad? I doesn't require cooking. Are you that incompetent? That lazy? That susceptible? And oatmeal requires boiling water! You could conceivably get it from the tap. Too tired from yoga and a facial? I'll give you a facial! Needless to say that I don't approve of this place. Oh, it's near the old Ravenous Pig on Orange. If we could just recreate your nature. You know who I am talking about.

On a totally unrelated topic, I have a recipe for local cooks to steal. It's called flammekuek. It's a Belgian pizza with sour cream, swiss cheese, bacon and grilled onions. Tastes like a potato skin. You cook the sour cream. Good and I hate sauceless pizzas.

Gaviota, East Colonial Dr - Closed

I had dinner at this new Peruvian restaurant on East Colonial (50) on Saturday. It replaces Casa Barecelona which replaced California Burrito near Sea Thai and the Executive Airport. It was mostly encouraging. I started with Anticucho (hearts on a skewer) for $14 and grabbed a burger to go for $9. The hearts were good. They were smeared in some kind of paste that was similar to an achiote paste. They also served it with another spicy/creamy orange sauce (panca) for some reason. If I haven't explained yet, hearts are the most fat free, weird body part free, clean piece of beef you will ever encounter. They are everything but gross. The plate came with a pile of cold hominy corn and two thick slices of potato. The corn was a puzzle. It added nada. The potatoes were great. Very crisp. The burger's grind was coarse and stringy. It can't be eaten less than well done. They slapped some limp sweet potato fries and sad tomatoes, lettuce and grilled onions on it. The burger meat was also spiced up in a way I didn't enjoy. I think I've found the weak spot in Peruvian cooking. The menu is similar to many other Peruvian places. They differentiate with the hearts, a similar sweetbreads dish and a pork belly sandwich. They have 6 sandwiches (if you include 2 burgers), 10 entrees (11 if you count the roast chicken) and 7 apps. Prices are good. Ceviche is too high as usual. They listed a lunch at $9. Not sure what was includeded. The place seats about seventy. It looks like a slightly trendy DIY job. Very black. They have been open for two weeks and still have junk in the back and no towels or dryer in the bathrrom. The blinds were askew. The lights on the sign outside were off. The sign is too dark to begin with. That may explain why they had only four others there at prime time and two were friends of the bartender nursing cocktails. They are the second outpost of the restaurant I mentioned in my Stubborn Mule post. Thankfully, I don't have go back to Thornton park now. Even though that opened in November and the owner is a first timer, they should have had this place in better condition than it is. I even believe it is a month or two behind schedule to begin with. I liked it and would go back. I would feel uneasy about having you fight the traffic on 50 for it though. There are alot of Peruvian options around town. The name means seagull.

Grub Crawl - Port Orange: Our Deck Down Under and DJ's Deck

On my way home (Charleston) on Friday night, I popped into these two spots under the bridge (beach side) on Dunlawton Ave (SR 421 or exit 256 on I-95). The first was planned. The second was opportunism. Both were trash compared to the excellent seafood I had in Charleston. And pricing was better there too. Florida is a joke in comparison. A gap toothed buffoon of a state in jean shorts and a tank top frittering away a $300 pay check on $6 Michelob Ultras and $18 dollar fried, defrosted rubber. And I'm not talking about the customers. Though many fit that description. In Charelston I had nine "cocktail" sized FRESH shrimp for $10. At a nice raw bar. And a dozen FRESH oysters for $11 (see Pearlz). And a trigger fish sandwich at a nice spot on the water for $10 (see Fleet Landing). And that is just a sampling.

Our Deck Down Under - It's a big, open, low ceilinged box on the Intercoastal. It has a ring of tables around the enclosed interior. It seats over 200. You order at a counter. I had a thing called a special wrap because I was seafooded out and the menu bored me. It was a crab cake and shrimp in a wrap with parmesan sauce. It cost $10. The wrap was too big. It folded, in regions, to where you only chomped down on raw tortilla. The crab cake tasted bitter and fishy. It went down like a lead weight. Mushy. The shrimp (3) were ok. They were butterflied and I think cooked in garlic oil. The place is fine for yokels and tourists. The view is nice. The staff was nice. Any place with one of those crane scoop "video" game machines is not usually going to get my approval. They also didn't take Amex.

DJ's Deck - This place is on the north side of the bridge across the parking lot. It is a little smaller and cuter. It is mostly outdoor tables under palm frond umbrellas with an attached shack. I had a fried oyster sandwich to go because everything else seemed hum drum. It cost $10. See above. The oysters (5) were bland. I had to eat them like nuggets and had to use tartar sauce. A no no usually. That and a shitty bun. Some special. More boring slop for the masses. I'd love to say overpriced, but, most of the menu here and at Our Deck was "market" price. Here's a tip. People don't want to stand there and quibble and question. We are not Arabs. This is not a market bazaar. I know you think that we will just not ask out of embarrassment and you can swindle us, but, most people just move onto something that has a price and you jerk offs think it's a best seller. It's not. It's not what the people want. It's just what they settle for because you are too lazy to write down a price or are purposefully trying to fleece them. It leads to less than satisfied customers and misperceptions for you as to what the publics tastes are. Get an erasable marker out and list your damn prices!

Caribbean Jack's, Daytona Beach

I ate at this seafood restaurant on the Intercoastal two Sundays ago. It left a bad taste in my mouth. You continue on I4 as it becomes the International Speedway/Parkway Blvd (400?) and make a left before the bridge. That road (past the newspaper office building) becomes Bullough Rd at the next bridge for some reason. Then it's on the right at Loggerhead Marina around three hundred yards from that light. If you get to another bridge (above you), you've gone too far. You can also come in from the north on LPGA Blvd. It is your typical Floridian seafood restaurant. The ones in this class (they think higher) look the same from Sarasota to West Palm. It has a smallish interior room with nautical regalia. The majority of the seating is on the deck. The tables by the water were nicer. The tables in between are cheap plastic. The tables closer to the water block the sight lines more conspicuously. Nice foresight. Around to the right was a bar with more seats around it. There was a fire pit area nearest to the water. I had a fresh fish platter (red fish) that I swear was listed at $17 that they billed at $19. Check your bill. This is what colored my whole perception of the meal. I could have forgiven the hostess Twinkie for giving me one of those cheap plastic tables (under a speaker) for four when a perfectly available "two" in front of it was available. I upgraded myself. I could have forgiven the $3 ice tea. I could have forgiven the under done french fries. I could have forgiven them for saying the fish was grilled when it was pan or griddle fried (I actually like it better). I could have forgiven being surrounded by people who go to a seafood restaurant to "reward" themselves with cheap mimosas and fried food.  I just can't stomach thievery. Hopefully, I am mistaken. The fish was good. A whole side (filet). I also chose a potato side that was a mash up of cheese and other immemorable toppings. It was good. Small. Service was attentive and polite. The view (dolphins, etc) was serene. The crowd was pretty low class. The menu is unadventurous. Parking is limited. The convention center in across the bridge. For better or worse, it is pretty standard fare for most of coastal Florida. Probably the nicest looking in Daytona though. I think they have been open for three years. They lose points for the hokey name as well. What is it with seafood places and guys named Jack?

The Stubborn Mule, Thornton Park

I tried this eclectic restaurant where Sonoma used to be (S. Eola Dr) Saturday night nine days ago. I liked the "weirdness", but it is not really a restaurant. It's more of a snack shop. That and it may have left my innards in turmoil. I had a smashed salmon sandwich for $13. See what I mean about snack shop. It was pulverized salmon in tzatziki sauce with smoked pear and sauteed onions on sourdough. I ordered it because it was weird and the rest of the menu was just kooky sandwiches, flat breads or over priced appetizers. If there were entrees, they were so boring or overpriced that I have already forgotten about them or discounted them as soon as I saw them. The sandwich was pretty disappointing. I hardly tasted any pear and the salmon was fishy. The sour dough had a good chew, but, didn't taste sour. A sloppy date that didn't make up for it with enthusiasm or special skills. They also offered a side. I had brussel sprouts in a maple bacon soup. Many sprouts. Too much syrup. And I'd wager it was fake syrup. Sugar water not sap. The layout is light on indoor seating and heavy on the patio. Inside there are really just a few tables by the window and some high tops and the bar. It's more bar - restaurant than restaurant - bar. I like the decor, but, the lights at the bar burn too hot and don't really provide enough glare-less light for things like menu reading. I also liked this decor when it was Sonoma. I don't think they changed a thing. Service was good. It was packed. Mostly because the forty people they attracted didn't want to sit outside. And this is winter! The crowd was young and hip (for Orlando). They have tvs at the bar. They have been open for nine months. Go for a drink and maybe a cheap snack if they have one.

FYI - Someone opened up a new place next door also. I also went downtown to a Christmas themed bar (Frosty's?) where a Mexican place (Don Jefe's) used to be and next door to a bar called Diggers or something. Diggers had some seriously hot bartenders (crowd was ok too). And then my stomach started rumbling and I smartly called it a night.

Old Crow Bar-B-Que, Umatilla

I had lunch at this bbq restaurant on Highway 19 nine days ago. If you come from the south, it is just after the Ocala National Forest marker. I had tried twice before (on a Sunday after 2pm and on a Monday - also closed on Tuesday) and it was closed. I'm glad I persisted. If their sauces or under cooked potatoes weren't the cause of my bowel unease later that night, then I recommend them. I had a small rib plate (meat only) and a pork sandwich. The "small" dinner consisted of three long ribs that seemed to max out at twelve inches. I couldn't take down my pants to confirm. And they tossed in the ends of that slab for free. It cost $6. The cook on the ribs was perfect. I think they just use salt. They had nice smoke rings and bark. They use oak. I forget my lessons on hog butchering, but, I think most places split up the rib cage into baby back and whatever is on top. They serve the whole rib. This was all I needed, but, I had ordered the sandwich. It was good. They let me have a half chopped and half sliced sammy. It cost $5. I added a side for a buck. The pork was good. Some really juicy bits (the bigger ones) with some dry. This also was q'ed with no rub. It was a sizable portion of pork. The sauces were - hot, sweet and mustard vinegar. The side I had was potato salad. It was bad. Small cup of uncooked potatoes cut very lazily in large hunks. The menu is typical for a bbq place. They sub brisket for a roast beef. They also do some daily specials like pork chops. The place is small. It seats about thirty. It's not much to look at. Service was good. They don't take Amex. The best bbq I've had in that area.

Smokehouse at Route 46, Sanford (Closed)

I tried this bbq spot (raised from the ashes) at lunch on Saturday. I thought I saw some activity here a few weeks ago when I ate Laspadas (across the street). It wasn't until a received a flyer in the mail last week that I realized what is going on. The feud that prematurely shuttered the old 46 concept has been surmounted. The one time silent partner (a culinary rookie) is now determined to give it ago on his own. I would have sworn I had eaten here before (and didn't love it), but, I can't find evidence of it in my posts. Maybe it was pre-blog. Maybe Google's search on Blogger is so terrible that even the poster can't search his own adequately. So, you get a fresh review. You would expect that four or five years of inactivity would have had a deleterious effect on the property, but, it seems to be unblemished. They said that the owner paid the upkeep through out all these years. The bar and the other edifice are still there too. The bar in functioning. The other building is reserved for private events. For those of you who don't remember (or never knew), the Smokehouse at 46 resembles a Cracker Barrel. That's all the description I feel obligated to give you. There was an antique car show going on on Saturday. The advertisement I received in the mail had an offer for the Smoked Meat Sampler for $20 ($27 usually). I looked at the "guest list" (3 lbs of brisket, pulled pork, turkey. pork ribs, AND chicken wings WITH three side AND garlic bread AND cornbread) and I said that I have to do this for my followers and for the bargain and to say FU to 4 Rivers on their $25 beef rib (singular). Even the Smokehouse charges $14 for their ribs alone. That's an extra $6 for the rest. Me no understandy economikikes. No brainer on the demand side. Thus, assured that I would get alot, it was no a question of what I would get. Would it be bad like Angel's or good like the non-Longwood outlets of 4 Rivers? It was good. Very good. Very assertive. I would say it is now my second favorite bbq joint in CF. Pig Floyd is one. 4 Rivers is three. 4 Rivers could be two if they didn't have a new, incompetent pit master in Longwood who burns and over seasons everything. Let's start with the brisket. Let's start with the simple fact that they know how to slice it. Thick. End to end. Not top to bottom. Hear me Angel's? It ain't roast beef. The bark was thick. The meat crumbled. Any dry-ish pieces could be lubed with fat. I even nuked some the next day and that short zapping woke up the oils. Did I stumble on a bbq secret? I thought it would dry it out. I believe I received about a half pound (five slices and some nubs and fat pieces) of brisket. It was smokey and peppery. Perhaps a bit salty. The pulled pork (half a melons worth) was slathered in a sweet bbq sauce. A little excessive for me, but, I did find some pork that was "naked" and it tasted delicious. Juicy. They weren't using the sauce to hide anything. The ribs come as St Louis or baby back. I think they gave me the St Louis. Doesn't that mean " sweet sauced"? Or is it the size/cut of the rib? They (4) were good. Two with little meat and two with a medium amount. They were cooked with the sweet sauce. Very crispy, peppery, bark-y and unctuous (oily). They fell apart as well. The wings (6) were smokey. They had some sort of glaze (mostly burned off) on them. They were too salty and the skin was rubbery and fell off. Needless to say, I'm not a huge fan of any smoked wings. They are better fried. I did nuke the skin for my chicken chicharron though. So, the skins weren't discarded. These wings were moist though. The turkey was ok. I don't love it with smoke. I think smoke is like red wine. Red/pink meat only. These three large slices were a tad salty and spongy. I diced them and threw them in with some rice and Korean taco sauce that I didn't use on tacos. It actually didn't suck. I chose potato salad, fries and mac and cheese as the sides. The potato salad was made with a sweet mayo, white onion and celery seed. The potatoes were a little dry. They didn't overuse the mayo. It was ok. The fries could have been crisper. They were skin ons. The mac was wild. They use some shape of pasta I have never seen. It looked like the spine/back of a dragon. It wasn't very cheese-y. They sprinkled some cheese throughout, but, the sauce lacked cheese. It tasted like cream and flour and butter. This of all things could have used more salt. Maybe it is intended to be a foil for the salty meats? The side sizes were small. Those individual little styrofoam cups. The bread in the "garlic bread" was nice and thick. I hate this accoutrement, so, the fact that I ate it is testament enough. The corn bread was ok. A little dry and crumbly. Spongy though. A slight taste of something sweet. Honey? It must be eaten the same day or I bet it will really dry out. Do I need to tell you that I had FOUR sumptuous meals (and some breakfast sneaks) from this "picnic"? It was outlandish. So glad they are in my world. They re-opened in September. I wish I had known earlier. I always liked this psuedo-theme park/ghost town. It has a fun 1950's vibe. I'll be around alot, I think. Oh, you order at the counter and they bring the food. I'm still trying to figure out if this set up lets a restaurant employ fewer waitresses and if so is it for their bottom line or does it ensure that the wait staff generates higher tip totals or less work. Anyway. Ignore that. But, don't ignore this. They also have burgers, sandwiches, salads, meatloaf (don't let yours), etc. They also have a kids menu and do catering. It was full. It seats about seventy inside and unlimited outside if you are willing to pull up a curb. It is on the downtown Sanford side of I4.

3/4/2017 - Went back for a brisket sandwich. It sucked. Opposite of the kind of brisket I had last time. Thin. Fatty. Sinewy. They try and hide the unbecoming parts in the sandwiches I guess. And two sandwiches would have cost near what the whole meal I had last time cost. Based on this meal, I would be wary of everything but the Sampler. Plus they seem to be hosting some event every weekend that ties up all the parking spots and attracts alot of undesirables.

1/29/18 - Went back for a brisket sandwich. This time it was great. The potatoes in the potato salad were a bit under cooked. They get a reprieve.

Hunger St Tacos, Winter Park

I had lunch at this new Mexican joint where B&B Junction and 4 Rivers used to be on Monday. Why people love this parking challenged spot in the middle of nowhere is a mystery. They opened the previous Tuesday. I may be a bit too harsh on them, but, this food category is flooded. So flooded that even these upscale, white boy reinventions of street food are common. I would say that they suffer from the same affliction as B&B. Great ambition with poor execution. The residue of that equation is hype. I had a brisket taco ($3.5) and a chori-pollo taco ($3) and a chicken tinga quesadilla ($5). If we look beyond the 30% white boy mark up on street food, we see that they grill/reheat the meat prior to serving. That can add flavor (and calories) or dry it out. They dried it out. The brisket was really good. Good in the areas that they didn't try and improve (weren't crisped). Just leave well enough alone. Your brisket is solid as is. The chicken was bland. However, the oil hardly hit most of it so it stayed bland. The chorizo was too spicy and mealy. It can go. It will overpower anything it is paired with. Both were served with a guac-y lime puree/salsa, white onions and cilantro. It doesn't work with non-white meat. That needs a red sauce. No lime. They are very generous with the meat. They really don't need to "double bag" the coaster sized flour tortillas. They are so thick that one is enough and two is two much. The second ruins the flavor balance. I suggest you pull them apart and dump half of the meat onto the "orphan" tortilla and double your taco allocation. The quesadilla was very crispy and savory. It included Chihuahua cheese, sauteed onion, garlic and a tomato chipotle. It was a little runny. I'm not sure if it is worth two tacos. But, they never are. They have some curious ingredient options. Hibiscus tacos, squash blossom quesadillas and other combos with chorizo or eggs and beans. They have a great looking cheese crisp they call a chicharron. They do a corn in bone marrow broth called "esquites". Cucumber salad is at the party for some reason. They also have a few flan-y desserts. The rebuild seemed to be endless and to tell the truth it looks much the same. They reoriented the counter so it in on the left (instead of center) of the street. You still order like you are in elementary school. However, no lunch lady slops the meal on your plate. They bring it out to you on a very similar looking patio picnic area. The main difference (and something they are extra proud of) is the inclusion of some fine murals. Will there be a Banksy-esque run on them when and if the place closes down? The color scheme is now black and white. They had heaters above you. And fans for the summer. The fans et al look expensive and chic. Soda was cheap. Not all pretentious artisan choices. I liked it. I would have loved it (execution issues resolved) five years ago when it was a fresh concept. Black Rooster is similar and simpler and I may prefer it. Now I could eat at either without pause, but, it would not be a treat. Just like my daily Jersey Mike's, Tijuana Flats, McDonald's days off. I need more things like the chicharron to get a rise in my Levi's. My crib sheet is inundated with taco places. I still have one downtown and another in Lake Ivanhoe (not open yet) that have been languishing in the queue. I have taco fatigue. Even epazote and hibiscus can't break me out of it. Maybe huitlacoche. Doubtful.

*Since Moe's loves silly names, do you think they should steal the crisp and call it a Cheech Marin?

Grub Crawl - Tavares: Sinbad's Bar and Grill and Angel's Soul Food and BBQ

I took to go meals at these two restaurants on 441 on Sunday afternoon. The first is near the on the lake just as you enter Tavares form the east. The other is closer to Mt Dora on Burleigh Blvd. They are both on the same side of the street.

Sinbad's Bar and Grill - I had a grouper sandwich with potato salad for $13. It was ok. The tail and edges had evidence of freezer burn or age (dry), but, the middle was moist. They clobbered it with a spice rub like true PWT. They also lacquered up the roll with some kind of butter or butter substitute. The greens (et al) were soggy. Can the fish just speak for itself? The potato salad was so sweet that I'm glad they only gave me a "shot" of it. The two hush puppies were fine. I won't address the interior design because they said that a major overhaul is coming in two weeks. I'm sure it will "improve" the look. I'm not sure it will improve the experience. This place is so laughably bad looking that it has character. They have a barbeque pit IN the dining room. They let people write on the ceiling tiles. BTW if sociologists ever conducted a study on what modern Americans find important as illustrated by what they choose to glorify in print if given the chance - the answer is - where they reside, who they are banging and what sports team they identify with. No wisdom. No quotes. No profundity. Just those three inane topics over and over again. I'll bet they demanded to express themselves and then came up with that. The place also looks like it is about to fall into the lake. Like I said. it is so bad that it is good. The service was friendly. It took a while. The place was pretty full at a non-peak hour. The fat lady at The Sentinel (and my waitress) says thy are known for pork and wings.

Angel's Soul Food and BBQ - I stopped here because my initial design was to have bbq at another place that closed at 2pm. I was thwarted once again. They really can't do bbq if the brisket sandwich ($12) is any indication. Now I will say that the fried chicken I saw others leaving with looked excellent. I probably should have tried the oxtail, but, I wanted bbq at all costs. The brisket was like the roast beef it resembled. Tough. Tasted like burger. No smoke. No bark. I'd bet it was cooked in an oven. And not low and slow. They slice it like roast beef. Six slices. I asked for sauce on the side. They doused it. It took forever to come out. I think these idiots just do the orders FIFO style and don't segregate the orders based on ease of completion. The bun was nothing special. A sweet bun so we could enjoy sweet on sweet. The potatoes in the potato salad were either under cooked or stale. They put something odd (like nutmeg) in it. The place is such an ugly mix of those cheap art pieces that you see at flea markets and shitty design outlets and moldering wood that you see why most people take their meals to go. The crowd was surprisingly integrated. Although, it did seem that the white folk took their meals to go. They started in Sanford and have one other place elsewhere. The prices are higher than they deserve to be and the non-Soul food is suspect, so, you decide. I know enough slop houses (and I am assuming they do Soul food well) to let this one slip away. They made a big deal about adding the bbq part to the Soul food menu at this location. Don't buy in.

JK Thai and Sushi, Mount Dora

Nothing excites me more (JK) than when I see disparate cuisines offered up on the the same menu (JK). That is why I tried this Thai Sushi play (JK) on 5th Ave (the one you drive in on) near the center of town on Sunday. JK, my tum tum wasn't ready for Western food stuffs quite so soon upon returning home. BTW - if you haven't given Indonesian cuisine a go yet, may I suggest you seek (or search) out Babi Guling, Pepes, Ayam or Bebek Goreng, Baso Iga, Batagor and produce such as mangosteen, salak (snake skin fruit) and jack fruit (tastes like artichoke). I'm back. I had the lemongrass chicken with rice for $10. Mostly because they were closing (at 3pm) and I didn't want anything curry-ish thanks to an EVA airlines meal. It was predictably bad. Some of the chicken was stale (almost plastic in texture). Some was gristly. Some was rubbery. The rice was over cooked. The sauce was reduced too far down. The sushi part of the menu is roll heavy. A bad sign. The few fish I saw at the "sushi bar" looked worn. The environment is unappealing. Bad decor. Bad layout. You can skip this with assurance.

Hemisphere, OIA

This is the last place I ate at (din din) before I left town two weeks ago. That came courtesy of a bad sensor on a Jet Blue flight that cost me my connection and forced them to put my up at the Hyatt Regency (the one in the airport). Their "premier" restaurant is on the top floor. The food isn't as humdrum as the name (isn't that an airline magazine?). It was quite good and ambitious. And I don't mean "quite good" in the British way that I have learned is akin to "bless your heart". They recently re-imagined the space and the menu. The relaunch was in November if I remember correctly. They went from steak and potatoes to this multi-cultural global effort. I had (on mostly Jet Blue's dime) a baby beet salad for $10, grilled octopus for $13 and a duck confit fry bread for $14. A soda was $4. Boo. The salad was composed of red and yellow beets around shaved fennel, orange segments, crushed nuts and mascarpone. Not bad. A less bland cheese would improve it. I still would like to see more stem on, skin on, roasted beets offered up. They said the octopus was "baby". I'm not sure about that. They also made a big deal about it being tender. That and how hard they were pushing it makes me wonder if it was tender/soft because it was prepared correctly or because it was getting old. It came with burnt tomato (purposely), micro green and grilled squash. The fry bread was too salty. Less fried than I have seen it. The inside was cakey. The duck was covered by a cabbage slaw and they "squirt bottled" two types of condiment on the plate. The bread is dry, so, it needed the lube. The decor is stark in a non-Tony type of way. It's canvas is white with some plane murals sprinkled in. They do lunch and breakfast as well. It is open to the public, Service was very engaged. They close a little early (10pm). Breakfast starts early. You shouldn't need a hotel key to get to the tenth floor. They have those self serve wine dispensers ala The Wine Room. As I said, the menu pulls from alot of different regions of the globe. They have American Indian fry bread for Christs sake. They said a few of the good old boys/customers (ie hicks from the Midwest) are disappointed in the change. Boo hoo. Order room service! Hopefully, foreigners and people of taste think differently. Being an international man of mystery, you know what side I'm on. They are on my speed dial now. Glad I didn't find out about them before the reboot. I may never have gone back if it was Dullsville. Now if I can only get them to reboot the name. The views are great too.

Slate, Sand Lake Rd - Closed

I had lunch at this eclectic restaurant with a Southern soul around two weeks ago. I thought it was new, but, they have been open for two years. They are in a strip mall past Via Dellagio (away from I4) that houses a Trader Joe's. I liked it alot. I had a bowl of gemelli pasta with spinach, corn and shrimp in a basil cream sauce for $16. It was delicious. The portion size was huge. The shrimp (4) were large and fresh and properly cooked. Very nice. I went the Italian route because I was about to embark on thirty hours of travel and did not need a fire down below. I would gauge that probability at around a half of a percent at a place like this, but, my apprehension didn't cost me a good meal. I just ended up with starch. It's now two weeks since I ate here, so, excuse the peripatetic review. The menu had a fair representation of Italian dishes to go with the American fare. They also have a wood burning pizza oven. I recall a filet that cost around $6 an ounce (8 oz portion). I apologize to STK for saying they overcharge. I guess filet goes for $6 an oz. I remember sandwiches. I remember Southern stuff like pulled pork. I remember fish. You have enough choices. Dinner prices were raised. I think my dish went up to $19. They use most of same ingredients for the lunch menu as the dinner menu. They just implement them in different ways to avoid apple to apple price comparisons. Entree pricing averaged $30. The place looks nice. There is a center area that has a square bar towards the back. That area is "surrounded" by most of the seats. One side has window views. I remember two types of wood on the ceiling. There was a fireplace. I remember hexagon shaped tiles on the floor, garage doors between the "moat area" and the bar, iron work, gas lighted sconces and black paint. It seats around eighty. Maybe more. It is a one off. No chain. I was very happy with it. Service was attentive, attractive and informed. Parking can be a pain because of the Trader Joe's puppies. It may well end up on the favorites list. Plus it has no "+" to its name.

Foxtail Coffee Co, Winter Park

I grabbed a coffee to go at this new coffee house around two weeks ago. It is in the strip mall on North Orange Ave that has the Winter Park Distillery in it. They don't have much else. It seems like they invested alot into making this place look appealing. I hope the extravagant mark ups in coffee and coffee related merchandise can support the outlay. They seem to have their own roasting room. It is enclosed behind glass like a museum exhibit. The interior design is nice. Warm. Woody. Peopled by lonely hearts or the wifi underserved. Helmed by the the uber pretentious. Barist-ologists. It's fine. At least they haven't added a "+" sign to their name. As in Foxtail Coffee + Misaligned Priorities. I'd rather have all this OCD energy expended on things of more import than sour black water, but, its not like I do so either. At least Howard Schultz won't get this money.