George's Gourmet Cookies, Winter Park

I went here yesterday because of an article in Orlando Weekly that said this mall was an underrated food haven. I won't get into that, but, they were right about this little cookie place across from Bubbalou's. I had an oatmeal raisin cookie for $3.50. And before you start in, I thought that a bit much for one cookie as well. However, it's really two or three cookies. Of excellent pedigree. They pile the dough up so that it is almost a cupcake or a cruller. Then they drizzled icing over it like a danish or cinnamon roll. The outside was crusty. The inside was moist. Tons of walnuts (possibly pecans though I think the former). Plump raisins. Like the old man in the Bush's Baked Bean Cocina Latina commercial purrs "Smells deleeshowsh". Tastes delicious in this case. And I could care a less about sweets. The disappointing thing was that they only had three choices (out of six) available. Maybe the cookie monster beat me there. Ten points for cookie monster reference! C'mon. You just got a little happier thinking about that crack addict. They also serve a full lunch menu (so much for honesty/accuracy in advertising). I'm not sure why they don't acknowledge that. The pricing was pretty high. Maybe they are embarrassed? All sandwiches were north of $10. $10.50 for egg salad. The "specialty" sandwiches start $12 for a veggie. You do get two sides with all sandwiches. I'm not sure what they consist of since they were not on the menu. The place seats about twenty in and twenty out. The decor is pure old lady chic. You may call it Rodham-esque. I might be called on to suck it up for a lunch there, but, I really recommend the cookies. They have been serving there for two years. The menu says "est. 1989", so, I'll guess that Georgie Boy has been an owner/operator somewhere since that date. He was "in house" making food if that has any implications. Look for the strip mall on Lee Rd and 17-92/N.Orange.

King Bao, Mills Ave

I had lunch at this bao specialty spot on Mills (near the intersection with 50) yesterday. I have been meaning to go for a while (open five months), but, parking and traffic always suck around there. Luckily my car needed an oil change and my "guy" is located near enough to down there to make a slog internally debatable. Now, I guess it is a good thing when your major criticisms of a joint are the font (and logo) they selected and the art on the walls. Congestion was another issue, but, that was caused by a roly poly's lack of consideration (ordering for HER whole office or cat support group and paying for each order with a different credit card). The place serves bao (steamed rice flour buns/rolls) and tots. I had the pork belly and short rib because they were going for $7 as a package with a soda. Normally $3.50 each. They also don't allow you to choose any "seafood" options and the only other "land" option was a fried chicken one. Plus, I just had PDQ's 4 Rivers charity chicken sandwich the day before. It isn't that great btw. Why is their sauce so bad? Back to bao. The pork belly was very smoky and meaty. Just a little fat. Mostly meat. Nice hunk. That should please people who will never be hoodwinked into believing that all fat all the time is always preferable. Fittingly, it didn't have alot of flavor. The peanuts, cilantro and pickled daikon and carrots added other elements that I usually could live without in a meatwich. Especially the peanuts. But, they are traditional. The short rib portion was also generous. Same flavor issue. It was shredded short rib meat.  It came with Asian pear salad and cilantro. I never would have registered the pear if I wasn't told. I had wanted to skewer the place because most hipster bao places make dense, overly sweet buns. I just had some "real ones" in Singapore and in Chinatown in Kuala Lampur (that were ethereal) and I was ready to play that card. Sadly, I can not. They do a pretty good job. All the regular baos (tofu, shrimp, crab cake, grouper, sweet potato) are under $4. They had some special baos (ie lobster roll) that peaked at $6. They have dessert baos. One is ice cream and they could expand this category. In Singapore, alot of ice cream carts made their own ice cream sandwiches with ice cream and bread or crackers. They could easily do the same if they have the freezer space. It is known to be hot around here every once in a while. The place seats twenty. Two tables and a wall counter. It was full. Mostly young people. I'll be back.

The Taste of the Yucatan, Orlando - Closed

I popped into this Mexican restaurant two Tuesdays ago before noon on my way to the airport. It is on 436 just north (towards 50) of Curry Ford Rd. They were "beta" testing. Or was it "beta tasting"? I had a barbacoa salbut (in between a sopes and a tortilla) for $4 and a cochinita pibil soft taco for $3. I would have tried more, but, it was "unverified" and I had a fifteen hour flight sandwiched between a three and six hour flight. Not the time to be "dissatisfied" with a meal. The barbacoa meat was the better meat. The pork was too salty and dry. I'm so jet lagged that I can't even remember what they were topped with. I think they barbacoa had pickled onions and cheese. I think the pork was marinated in orange juice. The salbut (if that is what the fried cake was) was uneventful. Try one and then go back to the cheaper and healthier tortilla. In any event, they weren't loaded up with extras nor were they loaded up the same. I guess that says a little about the ethos. They take enough care to prepare different flavor profiles. The menu is different. You choose a base/container (they actually put the price for each on the menu and they differ) then you choose a meat (same pricing policy) then you choose any extras. The options are limited. I think they had four meats and one veggie option and four "bases". They had a two for one taco deal that day. Look for others. They serve beer and make their own sauces in small batches. It seats about forty. Not sure if the drive thru window is operational. Ownership was polite. He comes from the area. He spoke English (well). Seemed educated. The place looks clean and new. We aren't drowning in opportunities to sample Mexican food from the Yucatan. Especially ones with a Mayan pedigree. Give it a try. It's not a life changer, but, it doesn't have to be at these price points. Hopefully, they will fine tune the issues with the food and I can really get excited about this place. I think the hours I was told were 9am-6pm. 7pm on weekends. Google says 12-8pm. Here's their phone number if you want to check which is accurate - 407-704-2248. Now out of beta testing. I think last Friday was the launch.

Bob's Family Restaurant, OIA Area

I grabbed an egg sandwich to go before catching a plane out of town at this greasy spoon in a strip mall off Hoffner and S. Conway on Tuesday. I would have written that it (and the place is general) is just another (good or bad) run of the mill, carbon coffee diner/coffee shop. However, there was a complication that erupted later that night which centered around irritable bowels for the next two days. Now, I am willing to consider that Jersey Mikes or Papa John's or Publix frozen chicken was the real culprit, but, I can't be sure and two of the others were a little too pre or post temporal. The sandwich itself is a mess. Literally. I tried to save them from themselves by swapping out the Texas Toast for a Kaiser roll. They just lacquered that (in butter/grease) instead. The eggs were scrambled (not fried). Scrambled in that horrible "here's a folded yellow wash cloth" way. Can you at least break them in half? One swipe of a ladle? It tried ham instead of bacon or sausage because they said it wasn't just the sliced ham they make sandwiches out of. Wrong. The cheese was scant (1 slice) and indiscernible. It came with choice of potatoes. I ordered the home fries on another recommendation. They were greasy and under cooked. The meal cost $7. I believe that is 4 Egg McMuffins (on sale). I'd take the McCompetition on volume/value alone. How about you keep the potatoes and cut the cost in half? Only every other restaurant does it that way. I don't want to think what the cost to my health was. They close at three. They are closed on Monday. They menu is reductive like I said. Went here to give a pity fuck and got what I deserved. Karma is a bitch. Not because it punishes you retro-actively if you do wrong, but, because it punishes you up front when you do right.

Saint Anejo, Winter Springs

Like the inbred illiterate judge in the Dan Newlin commercial, this place helped me "obtain" some tacos to go at this Mexican restaurant on Red Bug Lake Rd in the strip mall that has one of those mini Wal-Marts. It is from the same people who brought you Agave Azul and La Fiesta. Somehow a place with that sort of experienced ownership just appeared on my radar. Even though it has been open for a year. It's better than it's two sister restaurants. Cleaner. Newer. More refined. Are they imitating a tequila flanking strategy? I didn't eat in because I was trying to shoe horn in another "sit down" play in Oviedo that ended up not being open for lunch. I had the carnitas taco plate for $9.50 ($12 at dinner). It was good. Not $12 good. Or $9.50 good. But, good. Street tacos that you can get at a taqueria for half the price. $9.50 gets you three tacos. The pork was a shade off perfection. Not an overwhelming amount of flavor. The meat didn't fall apart on its own. It seemed more braised in its own juices than in boiling oil. They write "Dos Equis" braised. Maybe that is the answer. Can carnitas not be braised in oil? For at least part of the process? I know. It's a devil may care time in history where everything self identifies with definition-less language. The tortillas are listed as "hand made corn". I believe they were. Raw white onion and cilantro serve as the toppings. A side of rice and beans are added. Both were fine. The rice was bathed in a vegetable or chicken stock. They fluffed the rice. I don't like when they do that. They all do that. Fluffing is for adult film ACTORS (they can't all be stars). The rest of the lunch menu STARTS at $9.5. It is basic and since it is not any cheaper and the rest of the menu is available all day, it is superfluous. The main menu is schizo. They want $7 for an ear of corn (oh wait it comes with cotija) or a soup versus $21 for a T-Bone. Well, that's really the only egregious disparity. Most of the menu is simply over priced. Guac is $10 to $13. Fajitas are $17. They are pricing themselves ala Rocco's Tacos. However they are in the middle of nowhere and they don't have an equivalent ambiance or bar scene. Those are the reasons they can charge that much. It isn't their food. If you go, at least try one of the less ubiquitous Mexican selections. A cazuelita ($14-16). Mahi Mahi in puffy tortillas ($15). Tamales ($9). The menu isn't bad. I just think you will not find it to be a value. The place looks good inside. They have a bar with some booth seating on the right, an enclosed mini kitchen in the center and regular seating in the back and on the left. It is tastefully decorated. They have some interesting grafitti near the bathroom. I seem to remember the color white and wood for the furniture. And a wall of hats. I think the place must have been a Season's 52 type place before. I cite the stacked flat rock accents as evidence. It's a nice option if you don't mind paying a premium.

Hana Sushi, Altamonte Springs

I grabbed a sushi A lunch special to go on my way home Wednesday. It cost $10. It consisted of six pieces of nigiri and a California roll and soup or salad. The nigiri was ahi tuna, fake crab, white tuna (escolar), shrimp. salmon and a white fish with brown tips that they used to call snapper, but has always been tilapia. All the fish was fresh. Long thin cuts. Even the tuna was ok. The roll was fine too. The salad was fresh. Small portion. The rice was properly prepared. I was mildly surprised. I used to go here alot. It was always above average back in those days. I was just surprised that the quality didn't drop off after all this time and that it still is ok compared to the increased level of competition in CF. It's not world class, but, it is respectable. Prices are in line. The place hasn't changed at all inside. It's pretty bare bones. However, it hasn't seemed to have aged either. Service was quick and polite. They serve the usual stuff. Hot and cold. Some ambitious items are: yellowtail jaw (grilled), kimchi, udon, and salmon carpaccio. They are in the strip mall on the north side of 1-4 that has the DSW shoe warehouse. It seats about forty.

Camila's, I Drive

I had lunch at this Brazilian buffet in the hidden corner of this strip mall across from Peter Glenn sports outlet on Wednesday. It cost $15. I thought it would be the best in this price range (by the looks of it and the crowds). It was maybe the worst (food wise). The offerings were minimal and the quality was average. I tried the mashed potatoes, soup, fried fish, rice, shrimp, steak, chicken and some sort of meat with a livery taste (it had to be pork or beef). The MP had some sort of sour cream or sour butter mixed in. Too foreign a flavor profile for this American. I would also bet that it was made from a mix. The soup was some kind of vegetable puree. I'd guess squash. Too sweet. The fried part of the fried fish was tasty. You couldn't really taste the fish which was probably for the best since a buffet probably buys frozen tilapia or swai. The rice was old. Crunchy basmati. The shrimp were a mushy mess. Obviously over boiled AND frozen. It came in some kind of cloying butter sauce that somehow took on an orange color. Talk about being thrown a curve by my lyin' eyes. I thought it would be a sweet orange sauce. Not that that would have been preferable. The chicken was baked and surprisingly white meaty. It looked like top thigh cut. I'm still not sure how I get tricked by chicken butchering. I've had about a million chickens in my life. That's on me. The "liver" meat is self explanatory. The steak was grainy. I think sliced rump or skirt. I'll never master beef butchering. This is what I mostly ate. It was fine if you cut it up against the bias. The things I wouldn't touch were: stale bread, wilted salad, ugly side dishes, some kind of hot dog stew, and A few other things so nondescript that I've forgotten already. As you can see, the competition has more. The place looks good. It is all white. Modern furniture. It looks like some kind of weird euro-cafe or Japanese hospital. I didn't love the horrible sound system. The only thing worse than listening to Portuguese gibberish on TV is listening to it coming out of a tweeter. Service was good. The check says the add a 10% tip and then the check has a tip line too. They say the buffet is $15. I'm not sure why they just don't say - tip included. They also have a "club" next door that didn't seem to be open on this day. Parking is an issue. All in all, I would recommend all the others. However, the distance between any of them is not that great. They have a place in Miami. I think they have been in this location for over a year. There are probably enough "other reviews" on line to help you make the call.

1921, Mount Dora

I should probably take a breath and write about this place when I have more energy, but, I'm too excited and I want to be the first to weigh in on this excellent new endeavour. It just opened last week. It is on 4th and Baker. It is run by Norman Van Aken of Norman's at The Ritz. They describe it as modern Florida cuisine. The menu consists of about six bar snacks, six appetizers and eight main courses. They had things like flounder carpaccio, crab cocktail, Florida chowder, chaufa (Peruvian fried rice) with octopus, red snapper, grouper, duck, steak, etc. I chose a Caesar salad (mainly because it was the cheapest thing) and Fried Cornish Hen with mac and cheese and cola flavored collards. The salad was phenomenal. It cost $8. It was huge. Crisp romaine. Tiny croutons (I usually toss those). A refreshing dressing that was more citrus flavored than anchovy flavored. Beautiful. The hen was so big that I questioned whether they subbed in a chicken. They said it was sourced near by and was a CGH. I actually would have preferred a whole (this was a sectioned breast and drum quarter), tiny fowl. This one didn't have much flavor. They said they brined it. Not sure if that unlocked or blocked the natural flavor. The batter was sweet. I never found out what they put in it. The crust came off too easily, so, it either was too wet when they dipped it or the oil wasn't hot enough. The collards were very sweet. It also seemed like there was some other element (other than cola) in the mix. Some kind of stewed fruit or veg. They were very good and I'm not a "sides" guy. The piece de resistance though was the mac and cheese. Outrageous. Maybe the best in the world. That is right. THE WORLD. It is some concoction of elbow macaroni (cooked perfectly) and manchego and another cheese that one guy said started with a F and another said was cave something or other. It came in a ramekin. Big portion of a potent side. The meal cost $24. Prices are understandably high. I think they topped out at $40. But, you really only need a main or two apps/snacks. They don't pull the usual BS of high prices AND tiny portions. The place looks nice. They did the best they could. White walls. Tables made out of tree stump cross sections. Gold framed art. It reminded me of a Klimt painting. Not sure if Norman is Austrian, but, I have seen this type of near Eastern oriental influenced Continental decorating in many Austrian homes. It was a style craze in the early twentieth century (I think. Maybe earlier). The one element I didn't like was the drapery in the middle and end of the main room. They just seemed old and dirty and a tad too Arab-esque. The space is divided into three sections. The main room is "down stairs". It is the biggest. It seats about sixty. Lighting is a little low there. There is also a bar (with an outside patio with additional seats at the bar) with seating around it. And a room between the bar and the entrance. It seats about thirty. Oh and a private room. The kitchen is open. You see it from the entrance. Tons of staff. The walls on the outside are also white. You enter on 4th into a little alcove. The service was good. Plenty of knowledgeable staff who are engaged. My waiter commutes from Winter Park for the chance to work with these people. They have a uniform (chambray shirts and jeans). The food came out at a decent pace. You will probably need reservations in the future (except bar area), but, they fit me in at a table even though I had flip flops on and road beard. The crowd was a mish mosh. White haired, hippie artists, Brazilians, frumpy locals (dressed up and not dressed up), etc. I wonder how long they will allow this to go on. I guess I hope they don't become detached from the community that surrounds them. Time will tell. In any case, run don't walk to be part of this experience. Definitely a destination spot. It will be on the Best of 2016 list.

Buzzard Beach, Tavares

I tried a hot dog at this little shack on the lake on 441 on Thursday. I was coming back on 75 and wanted to knock it out. You will remember I mentioned it a few months ago when I last went through Tavares. I thought it just had hot dogs. They also have alot of other things. Sandwiches and platters that include lobster salad, fried oysters, grouper, bbq pork for example. The hot dog was a quarter pound, grilled Hebrew National. It cost $3.50. It was ok. A little over grilled. The shack was screened in. People have written stuff all over the walls and beams. People were having a beer or two. It seats about seventy. Chill, low key vibe. Country music. It's basically a food truck with attached dining room.

Hog Heaven, Daytona Beach

I thought this place was a little closer to Aunt Catfish's, so, I decided to knock it off the list and literally wash the bad taste out of my mouth. It's on N. Atlantic Ave (A1A) near the convention center. It has been there since 1978. I had some mix of scraps (pork, beef, chicken) that I forget the name of. It was a sandwich. It cost $7. It was chopped and drowned in a sweet sauce. It was pretty gross. The bun stunk. I knew it was a risky bet. Oh well. Maybe their other stuff (ribs, brisket, pork, chicken and chops) are better. The place looks pretty new for never being renovated. It looks like a log cabin. It was clean. It's still an open question on whether you should try it or not. Up to you.

Aunt Catfish's, Port Orange

I started my road trip eight days ago at this seafood restaurant on Halifax Dr (really at the bridge off US1 and exit 256 I think). It was unsurprisingly underwhelming. I had a lunch combo for $9 and a salt and pepper shark basket for $9. I chose a soup (mix of clam and fish chowder they call flowder or something like that) and a half shrimp blt wrap for the combo. The soup was good. Only a small cup though. The blt was ok. 4 shrimp. Little to no bacon. The shark (though plentiful) was dry on dry. Dry shark made drier through the seasoning and breading. It was fried nuggets. It came with limp, greasy fries. Both meals came with a hush puppy and that gives me an excuse to tell you that P. Alllen Smith says hush puppies are so named because people used to take their leftover batter and toss it in the grease and give it to their hungry dogs. Both dishes also came with a terrible cinnamon roll. They tasted like a paper wrapper was baked in. There was also some cole slaw in the mix of one of the meals. The lunch combo I had was only one of the variations you could order. Most of the pricing on the exhaustive menu was out of whack, but, not unusual for these tourist traps. My meals were some of the cheapest. The place is on the intercoastal. It seats 100+. It is mostly all enclosed. They have a little "playground" area. The interior is dated. Service was slow. They charged $3 for a soda in a mason jar filled with ice that tasted of dish soap. No refill was offered until the check came (first time I had a chance to complain). When I stated my displeasure with the soapy taste, they could have deducted the cost of the barely touched soda. they didn't. And that, in a nutshell, is what this place is all about. It's a meat grinder. They obviously do enough business and the clientele is so undemanding that they have a take it or leave it ethos. I experienced nothing to recommend it to you.

El Paso, Sanford

I tried this ten month old Tex-Mex place on 46 (was a terrible Asian buffet place) on Thursday. Mall side of I-4. I had the lunch El Paso's Favorito for $9. It was poop-orito. The main issue was the ingredients. They were the cheapest around. The "ground" beef was salty mush. Same going in as going out. Jack in the Box bad. The cheese was the worst kind of jack/cheddar/etc blend. I wouldn't be surprised if they bought the supermarket blend. A chemical concoction. All oil. No dairy. It was also so salty that I removed all of it. And there was alot. Those two things were the main components in the burrito, hard shell taco and enchilada. So, they all sucked. The "chalupa" was really a tostada. It was just beans and guac. The guac was too salty as well. The one ok component was the tamale that served as the coating for the enchilada. Once again I'm not sure what planet they are from, but, I've never seen an enchilada in a tamale. I've had a tamale stuffed with ground beef, but, it was called a tamale. The only good part of the meal was the free part. The chips and two dips were good. The salsa had just enough heat and the black bean dip was tasty (not salty). They have a humongous menu. That would usually be the smoking gun, but since Mexican food is six ingredients re-purposed a million ways, the blame must lie elsewhere. That menu has vegetarian, seafood (mostly shrimp) and the usual Mexican assortment. They cleaned up the place. It's now black and brown and red. There are rustic murals on the wall. They retained the bar. It looks much like the Bennigan's (or whatever) it started as. And that is the level. Mexican Bennigan's. Mexigan's. It's amazing that Sanford is still the only shitty neighborhood in CF that can't at least brag about one decent Mexican restaurant. This place received third place in some magazine they invade my mail box with. Even if there were two Mexican places in the region they queried, they wouldn't come in third. And I don't mean two others. Just two. Paso on El Paso. No refills offered. The music they played (loudly) was inappropriate for a non-teen Mexican clientele. Maybe at a quincenera/baby shower..

Grub Crawl - Sanford: Chef Sennet's Candlelight Cafe (Closed), Fuel and Palate

I tried these spots around downtown on Saturday at lunch.

Chef Sennet's Candlelight Cafe - Not sure why a place that closes at 2pm is called "Candlelight", but that is neither here nor there. This place replaces Shantell's. They have been open for six months. It is mostly breakfast, hot and cold sandwiches and salads. I had their Bird's Nest for $8. It is basically a toad in a hole (eggs inside bread). This one had two fried eggs inside a challah bread (listed as sour dough) ham sandwich that is grilled and topped with cheddar. It was fine. Way too costly on the calorie front. The challah really soaked up the butter. I probably would have gone in a different direction if I knew it wasn't sour dough. It is rich enough. It needs the contrast of the sour flavor. The ham was piled up generously. They say it is smoked. It tasted like a good quality Virginia ham. The cheddar was superfluous. The eggs were a little under cooked. It also came with a side choice. I chose home fries. They were excellent. Baked and then fried. Crispy deliciousness. And they gave me twice what a normal man requires. I brought in a coupon for a free drink (they only charge $1.50 anyway). They gave me a refill AND a to go cup. And that is the vibe here. Very generous. Very accommodating. I heard them work on several "custom" jobs for whine-y customers. And they didn't exhibit any push back. I love the place. The building. They left it as it was. For the same price you pay at any dingy cafe or diner, you can get extra effort and a better environment here. It's on Sanford Ave (the last road you can turn right on) off 1st St. The most expensive thing is just over ten dollars and it comes with steak. I did notice that they are a little disorganized. You'd think they were open for just six days not six months. Part of that is because the owner and one support cook do all the cooking. It was kind of funny watching the "chaos" though. Don't let that turn you off. everything I saw going out looked good. It was about half full at noon.

Fuel BBQ - This was the real reason I ventured down here. It is aside (actually part of) The Alley bar on S. Park Ave. I had 4oz of brisket (with cornbread) for $7 and three ribs (1/4 slab) for $8. They were ok. A tad too smokey and bark-y. If I had to guess, the brisket was dry rubbed with salt and black pepper AND finished with a wet rub. The ribs were probably done similarly with the only difference being a teryaki inclusion in the wet rub. I can't tell you what wood they used. They probably didn't wrap the meat (in paper or foil). My guess as to where they went wrong would be with the smoker. Not enough ventilation or the rack is too close to the heat source and they cooked it a tad too long or at too high a temperature. No one probably administered to it during a long section of the night and the heat fluctuated (probably down) and they added too much wood too fast when they looked after it in the morning. Close to being good though. It seems like they are willing to do the "slow" part. Just a little overpowering. The ribs tasted a little like teryaki jerky. The corn bread was good. A little dense, but, it seemed home made. They also plied me with three types of hot sauces they were tinkering with. One was a very syrupy, black hot sauce. One (house) was a fruity, semi-sweet (maybe orange rind), pulp-y sauce. One was a fruity, peppery, non-pulp-y hot sauce. Good for them for trying. And that is important. They seem to be trying. A little more trial and error and they will be next in line after 4 Rivers in this area. They have been open for three months. They also serve chicken and pork and sides. The place looks nice. It looks like an old time-y gas station used to be here. They tore down the wall to The Alley and you can move back and forth.

Palate Coffee Brewery - I just bought a coffee here for $2 to report on the change. It was a craft beer place the last time I was here. I guess that was over a year ago because that is how long they have been open. It's mostly just coffee. It is across from Fuel.

Smiling Bison is in the spot that was home to that overrated cook whose last stab was an Italian place named after his mother. I forget what it was called. It's in the center of town. Buster's moved from near Shantell's to where West End something or other bar was. Down the street. Closer to 1st. They were building out a new brewery space on that street (Sanford Ave). I think that is all the news from Sanford.

Mama Louise, Sand Lake Rd Area

I had plenty of time and free mileage on my rental car on Wednesday, so, I decided to drive down here and scratch these guys off the list. It is where Carriera's was on Dr. Phillips Blvd. I really wanted a pizza, but, I did Chicken Parmigiana with Spaghetti for $8.50 because I didn't want to wait. All the lunch prices are about half of the dinner prices. I think I know why. You get half as much. They lost my order. Only three parties in the restaurant at the time. The chicken part was mostly breading. The pasta was soggy. Probably pre-cooked and warmed in a bath so it becomes even more overcooked. Sauce was au naturel. It's a shame because while I waited I read some nice article on the owner and saw a table eat a nice looking pizza. They are trying to do a New Haven style experience here and I've been to some of those places like Frank Pepe's. The menu here runs from $10 apps (really sides) to $15 to $18 entrees. It makes no sense. A pasta dish is almost as much as steak or veal or chops. Pizza starts at $15. They opened in December. It looks the same. It seats well over a hundred. It has a band area and a patio. The bar was nicely stocked. If I ordered something else maybe I would be a little more enthusiastic. But, as these guys like to say - "It is what it is". At least it's not a chain and at least the worst you can get screwed for is $18.

Maddey's Craft and Cru, Downtown - Closed

If you are a assiduous reader of this journal then you will know that they and I got off to a rocky start. Three times I tried. And three times they weren't open. I really was loaded for bear (is it bear as in I'm going to kill a bear?). I tried them at lunch on Wednesday. They are behind Hamburger Mary's on Church Street. I had the Angus burger because I had been in the UK for three weeks and I wanted something home spun. Plus the pulled pork didn't seem like it would tell me much about how they cook on the fly. It has to be made ahead of time. The burger came on a pretzel roll with a green tomato jam and white cheddar and a side of Parmesan fries. It cost $14. A little steep. The roll wasn't very pretzel-y. That is a good thing in my book. It was kind of brioche-y. Fresh. The cheddar was cheddar in a Vince Vaughn slangy 90's compliment way. I couldn't taste the jam. The meat was good. A wide grind. Seemed lean. Beefy flavor. Good color. I ordered it medium rare and it was rare. That made it hard to review the flavor. The seared coat was beefy tasting though. The patty was big and hand made. They didn't push down on it while grilling it. It broke the string of bad burgers I was on. The fries were thin with a touch of skin on the ends. They timed the fry nicely. They gave me two portions worth. The grated cheese was an unneeded touch of flare. They served some home made catsup that was more of a tomato sauce (no sugar). I liked the effort. Tells you something. Soda was $2.50. They use crushed ice. Sometimes that stuff stinks worse than cubes. Not here. Hopefully, they will keep the ice machine mildew free. The menu is limited. Burgers, salads, apps, pizza and pasta is most of it. They add a steak and fish ( I think) for dinner. It's pub grub and pizza. The theme seems to be NYC. If they can do the Italian side of the menu as well as the American, then I think we have something here. Nothing to get crazy about. My brother used to get all these hard core porno magazines and one (Hustler I think) had a movie review scale with erect penises. Not sure why I'm telling you this, but, I'm sick of the usual rating devices and this seems unusual. The best was "fully erect". These guys are "3/4 erect" based on what I've seen so far. It's not new. It's not progressive. It was just one slightly under cooked (but acceptable) burger and some fries. I still hate the layout (as always) in this location. It still looks like a work in progress (ie wine cellar area isn't operational and full of junk). However, it seems like they are taking this seriously. Service was good. It was clean. The menu seems manageable. Prices are ok. They said they have been open for three weeks. The place was almost empty at 1pm. Maybe the lunch crowd had already passed. Maybe the dinner level prices at lunch scared them away. Maybe nobody who works downtown goes out for lunch when it is 95 degrees? It's just an observation. Give them a whirl.

Urban Crave, OIA

I'm not sure if it is worth it (rating an airport kitchen), but, it will give me a chance to to slam two deserving miscreants. I ate here on my way to the UK three weeks ago. I forget which terminal. It is the one with the Chili's (or some chain that serves Mexican). We'll get back to them in a minute. I had a Cobb Salad for $13. It was ok. They had some ok wine and beer choices. It took forever to get a salad that seemed pre-prepped. Now to the meat of the article. The first slap goes out to the dimwit at Chili's that didn't seem to know how to seat people in a half empty dining room. She just kept adding names to an unnecessary waiting list instead of filling tables. Perpetrator number two gets its own paragraph.

Norwegian Air. Where do we start? Let's start with their (probably illegal) policy of requiring a return ticket or they won't fly you out. I asked immigration officials in London if this is their policy (maybe a terrorism issue) and they said "No". They claim they state this on their web site. I didn't see it and they let people buy one ways. I'm researching this and the complaint letters are already written in my head if they are lying or violating the law. So, I had to "cement" my plans at the counter and buy a higher priced ticket than I would have had to or I would have not been allowed on my flight. Not to mention all the pre-booked stuff that would have been lost. They also quoted the price before tax while representing that it was an after tax price. Then the red eye (already late night) flight was 90 minutes late. Because of incoming delays. It is their plane that was late (and my 4pm back from England was 90 minutes late as well). On the flight, only water is free. Not even a soda! And that is only served sporadically. Headphones, pillows, blankets all cost. Getting a confirmed seat costs. a carry on over 10 kilos costs. I didn't catch the weight limit, but, checked bags over a certain amount (like the guy in front of me) costs. The crew was all from Thailand. They barely spoke English. I'll bet that is some union run around. They don't have shades on the windows. The movie selection was sparse. I'm all for paying ala carte, but, they push the boundaries of acceptability.

Loudmouth Burgers, Orlando

I tried this three month old burger restaurant today. In part to contrast it with the last post and in part to get it over with. You would think this place was right up my alley. It is on John Young just past Sand Lake. I saw it when I went to the Ritz a few months ago. It was offal. In that, that is what the meat tasted like. Offal. Pure liver. I don't know how you achieve that. If it is what is put in the grinder or if it is sign of age or contamination. It's not the first time this is happened to me. I guess there may be some logical explanation. I just wouldn't accept whatever it is. I had a mac and cheese burger because it sounded the least lame. It cost $8 and came with bacon bits and a chocolate chip cookie on the side. The mac had no flavor. Big tube pasta. Overcooked. The bacon was hard as rocks. The bun was ok. The patty size was big. It was machine made and probably frozen at some point. They served it very well done. It is a shame because they seem to want to be more than a fast food level restaurant. Even though they took over what was obviously a fast food locale (complete with drive thru) and the still make you order at a counter. The menu is five burgers (a spicy one, an egg one, a veggie one, etc), five chicken sandwiches, five-ish salads and french fries and onion rings. If you contrast them with SQ1, I paid what I should have paid there for a slightly worse burger. But, they added french fries for the four bucks difference. Here that would have been an extra $2. Still $2 up here. This place has less pizazz. Spartan and modern. But in an old fast food space. I remember white and black and maybe gray colors. They have one other outlet in Ohio. It seats about fifty. I had an ok sized crowd at lunch. Young'uns. I'd still pass unless you live close by.

Now it may be a few weeks before you hear from. Having strawberries and cream at Wimbledon and then....wouldn't you like to know. I hope I make it safely to the airport. I saw (on my way back from lunch) that the I-4 widening project had murdered some more people today and caused a log jam. Next time you see one of our illustrious leaders, ask them (for me) who has killed more people this year - them (through the widening) or the Pulse killer. I bet they wouldn't like to think of themselves that way.

SQ1, Winter Park - Closed

I went to this burger bar on S. Orlando (near Marlowe's) on Saturday for lunch. I think it is just a few weeks old. Let me start by saying that most of the my criticisms will be of an Existential variety. Like whether burger bars/pub grub should continue to proliferate (or exist at all). The same with chains and their corporate structure in general. This is case of both. These guys are out of Tampa. With owners from Oklahoma. I wanted a Cobb Salad, but, I got a BBQ Bacon Cheeseburger for you people. Hard to report back on the raw salad when you go to a burger bar. It was ok. I didn't like the beef mix or the grind. No flavor. Stringy and pellet like combo of grind. They said it was Angus, but, they also said they serve Kobe (see my Doghaus rant on that) and I'm not sure how closely the people they buy the beef from follow the law or if the law has teeth. I believe I've seen/heard things that say they do not. They did cook it medium rare as requested. And that is what hurts me. THEY did nothing wrong. It is the corporate decision makers that hand cuffed them in this case. By GIGOing them. Who knows? Maybe this was just a bad batch of meat. I, also, don't like that they use a mold to craft the patties. The veg were fresh enough. The bacon was a tad under cooked. But, it is often soooo teeth splitingly overcooked that this wasn't such a negative. The cheese was cheddar. I don't remember it, so, it must have had little flavor. I, likewise, don't recall the bun. It came with fries. Once again, I fault upper management. I just don't like these starch coated, skin on fries. I even have a fear that the skin is painted on after they form them from mush. They don't get golden enough and taste like instant mashed potatoes inside. Lots of places use both this kind of beef and fries and that is why I ask the "Existential" question. I'd like MORE for a specialty shop. This was the same burger (minus inked incest survivors) I can get at Tilted Kilt. It was actually worse. The meal cost $12. And that is another HUGE issue. Their whole menu is about 50% too high. They have burgers that you could legally have sex with if dollars were years. The menu has "diversity" at the app level. Pub grubby type stuff. The main course level is almost all burgers. Granted they have them in chicken, lamb, pork, salmon, etc. It's that and some desserts. The space is also poorly laid out. They have a too big a bar area and then most of the tables are in a "moat" around it. Most of the table where I sat were one table away from the john or the kitchen. A lady next to me asked to move. In her words "I don't want to look at a wall".  I thoroughly agree. My table had a choice of walls to look at. Both sides of the table were at a disadvantage. The decor is also odd. It is plush and faux costly, but, it is if one of my old bohemian, prep school girlfriends took her bare footed, sun dressed ass down to SoHo and bought up whatever the gay guy with the queer eye said was in fashion at the time. It's bird's nest lamps and bull horns and bovine skins and pictures of food porn. I know it is Boho chic. It's just overdone. Even for this burb. Even for an equally tired trend (ie burgers). Plus upper management screws them again by making the bar area clash. It's a molded serpentined, recessed ceiling that you see at a food court or airport restaurant. And they painted it red. They probably think they are color blocking (like that was ever anything but lack of taste). The overall color scheme is grey and black with brown wood accents. Look. This is a slight riff on what you've had before. It is Demi Lovato in a Selema Gomez world. Do you want more tattoos and drug laden skeletons in the closet? Do you want the fat ass? Do you want the Bieber residue? Does it matter? The service and management were very hospitable and really want to please you. They want you to respond to their effort in "ALL CAPS!". I can only go lower case with a period at the end. Maybe they can convince the real decision makers to up their game? Maybe this post is the start?

Casey's Sports Bar, Lake Mary

I stopped in at this take over of Finnegan's last week at night. It's in the Winn Dixie shopping center. I opened the door and closed it. They allow smoking. It stunk. It didn't look any different. It was full (six people) of white trash. Now you know.

Avanti, Lake Mary - Closed

I had an order of lasagna and an Italiano Panini wrapped up to go from this take over of Ravalia's on Thursday. The lasagna ($9) was better than I expected. A huge portion. I tried a bite (it was to be dinner) and kept on eating. It is a non-traditional lasagna. They substituted a bechemal type sauce for ricotta. The filling was ground pork. They double sheeted the bottom of the lasagna. It was a two level lasagna. The reason for this may be that the owners are Colombian. It was good regardless. The tomato sauce was fresh. the pasta was cooked well. The mozzarella was good. The sandwich ($8) came on great bread. A sesame roll I would eat plain. They could have parted with a slice or two extra on the three cold cuts. The quality of the meat (cap/salami/pro) was middling. Also in the mix was mozzarella and red peppers. It came with fries. They could have used thirty seconds more in the fryer. Close though. I dipped the fries in the leftover lasagna goo. Lasagna fries have to be the next rage. Believe me. All in all I was impressed. Ravalia's got worse every time I went back. These guys didn't seem to have cleaned or upgraded anything, so, I expected the same poor execution. Ravalia's started out well too. Hopefully, these guys don't shoot their wad/lose their passion too quickly (or at all). Like I said, the place needs a bath and some botox. They just took over last week,so, I'll give them a pass. Though, I would have addressed that BEFORE I tried to lure people in. Maybe they are on a shoe string? They said the menu is a "new direction". It looked nearly the same as Ravalia's if you ask me. The place was full at lunch. The owner is the son of the guy who ran Wilfredo's on Lake Ivanhoe. I forget what I thought of that place. * Just looked. I hated it. Called it Sh-Italian. Man I'm funny.