Oh My Gyro, Longwood

I had a gyro at this Middle Eastern fast-casual place on 434 yesterday. It replaces around a half dozen other places (mostly Indian) at this location (before Max and Meme or Ali Baba from I-sore). The gyro was excellent. I went because it was listed in a Weekly's list of ten under $10. They were right on. The meat was savory and fresh. The vegetables (T,O,L) were beyond fresh. The tzatziki was nice. The pita was warm and fresh. They give you more taztziki and a lethal hot sauce on the side. If I compare it to the last couple of gyros I've reported back on, it's like crescent moon and day. And it only cost $6.49. You can also chintz on a can of soda for $1.25 or get a fountain drink at $2. You can also make it a special (fries and drink) or make it a platter (rice and salad) for a few bucks more. I think it was just meat or chicken available. But, they also serve steak, kabobs, hamburgers and I think I remember some American things like nuggets (don't quote me). They did next to nothing to the decor. Even the art work is from the last guy. It's a service-less experience. You order. You pick up. You clean up. It seats about sixty and was feeding about sixteen people while I was there. It has been open since October. I'm mad I missed out for so long. I would eat here once a week if I lived closer. I think they charge $10 for a way worse gyro at that place in Lake Mary (Paramount).

*I also grabbed some brisket from 4Rivers on my way back to I-sore. They really aren't very good anymore. This brisket was under cooked. Little flavor or smoke ring. A rush job. I think this is the sixth time in a row that they disappointed me (different meals), so, it isn't an over-reaction. It's a trend. They over-expanded and do too many things. It's obituary time.

Wondermade, Sanford

I tried three marshmallows fror $2 on Saturday at this sweets shop across from Hollerbach's. They said they have been in that location for four years. Hats off to the PR/marketing department. The store is a regular beacon. Impossible to miss.. It is really more of an ice cream shop than a marshmallow shop. They only had the three flavors and two chocolate covered options. There were some ridiculously priced previously packaged gift boxes for sale as well. But, who wants potentially stale marshmallows at a marshmallow store? Most people probably wouldn't know they wanted a marshmallow store to begin with. With a product like marshmallow, it better be good. I will give it up for the marshmallows. They were good. Lavender, caramel something and one more that has already slipped my mind. I'd replace every cupcake place with a marshmallow place if possible. Faint praise.

There was also an "Arts" centric event going on that night. I ate a a truck called Saigon Sizzle and they may have caused my digestive issues the next day (them or a Subway Club). I won't expound because of the uncertainty. I will continue to question why all these roach coachers think they can charge $9+ for fast food. Monotonous, derivative, duplicative fast food.

The Pie, College Park

I popped in here for lunch about a week ago. It's in that strip mall to the right of the condos near Princeton. Parking is in the back. It is an Italian fast casual spot that specialized in Roman style pizza (a cross between Sicilian and Neapolitan). I resisted the slice and soda special at $8 for a Margarita and a Meatlover twin bill (so I could report on more for you people). That made the total (with soda) $10. The slices (taglio) were ok. A "meat lovers" consists of  ham, prosciutto, mortadella, pepperoni, salami, sausage and meatball. I'm not sure I recognized all those flavors. Seeing them in print makes me surprised that I sampled all of those ingredients. I do recall that I wasn't wowed by the quality. Not bad. But, understandably, average. I mention it because I don't want you to think that this is a high end spot because of the sloganeering. And it's not like they add a full serving of all those meats. You just get more variety. Which is why I usually avoid a meat lovers. In general, I guess a slice is worth $4. If a regular slice runs $2 then this is probably two times as big. One slice is enough for most people. A bit odd that a plain slice costs as much as a topped one. Maybe fair if you are looking at it from the "toppings please" side of it. They also do full pies (up to $17), sandwiches, calzones, salads, deserts (2) and a few apps (5). All under $10. They are open for lunch and dinner all week. They even opened a little early for me. The place seats about forty. They have large murals on the wall and the seats and tables are functional. It is fine for a quick bite and they do have the concession on Roman style pizza in CF. They have been open for a month or so and have already changed hands. A Brazilian man owns it now.

Pub Crawl - Sanford: The Stranded Sailor (Closed), Bitters & Brass (Closed) and Sanford Brewing

I tried the first two and re-tried the last on Saturday night. They are on Sanford Ave in downtown. Seems like all the action is around here now. And there actually was some action.

The Stranded Sailor - This is across from Wops Hops. I think they said the have been open for 4 weeks or months. It's an English themed bar. Kinda. Not a cheesy reproduction, but, the beer is mostly from the UK and they have dart boards. I had a $10 beer from New Zealand. They have cheaper options. It was fine. They had a punk/metal (ballsy) band playing later on that night.

Bitters & Brass - This is also new. I ended up spending the most time here because I got into some conversations. I had two tequila based cocktails at $9 a piece. They were good. Showy. This cocktail craze isn't the best thing I've ever lived through, but, these guys weren't that self-impressed and actually were able to get the drinks out at a decent pace. The space is lovely. It's in that old "speakeasy" building that is part of the larger structure that had the soul food and breakfast spots (in between Sailor and Sanford). It has a look and feel that can't be matched. They definitely had the best looking girls too. I think the restaurant next door was also back in business. Looked like a chicken place with a Latin vibe.

Sanford Brewing - I had a terrible lager and "dinner" (disappointing cheese fries) here. The lager was very yeasty and kept me from ordering another beer or more food. I can't remember if I hated the beer the last time. If so, then this will be "the last time". The fries sounded good last time I was here. Bacon dust and other things were promised. They either forgot the bacon dust or it was indiscernible, because - well because I'm complaining about it. The wedge shaped fries were also under cooked and the cheese sauce had me longing for game day nacho cheese. And then they slopped a ton of jalapenos and onions on top of it. Of course a place with these issues (a totally overwhelmed kitchen) was packed with middle aged Sanfordinians. Adding to the horror was the "old man" band that I think I complained about Buster's employing last trip here.

*I'll try the chicken place and a marshmellow place (across from Hollerbach's) for you shortly. Just couldn't eat marshmellows and beer and I was distracted until after having a dinner would have been sensible.

El Molcajete, East Colonial (50)

I tried this new (six weeks) Mexican restaurant near 50 on North Goldenrod on Friday at lunch. I believe this area was full of Vietnamese places not so long ago. Now it is mostly Spanish speaking from University to 50. Ignore any info on their hours that you see online. They correspond to the food truck they run/ran out of Kissimmee. They are open seven days a week from 10 am (I think) until late at night. Their number is 407-845-1628 if I have that wrong and you want to check.

They have an "expanded" Mexican menu that includes things like Vera Cruz Snapper and Huevos Rancheros, however, the real reason to visit is antojitos. Antojitos are corn themed apps/street food that translates into "little cravings". They have ten "classes" of them and I tried four of them for you people. I tried the tacos, pambazo, picadita and gringas. Two I ate there and two I brought home for dinner. I had a cabeza (cow brain) and lengua (cow tongue) taco because you know I'm disgusting. Both were good. The brain is soft and oily and the tongue was lean and tender. They are served in freshly made tortillas in a street food (onion and cilantro) style. They cost $2 a piece. Next I had the $4.50 picadita. It was basically a corn (huarache) cake with green or red (I did green because I always do red) sauce, sour cream, cotija cheese and the menu says cheese (but I don't recall eating any). It was ok. How good can a corn cake get? I'm an omnivore. At home I ate the pamboza. This is a stupid dish that I always avoid because it sounds (and now I know tastes) so lame. It's a roll dipped in red sauce with sour cream, lettuce, and cotija cheese. This one was filled with potatoes and chorizo (I tasted and saw no evidence of chorizo). It was $5.50 down the toilet (but we'll get to that later). The last dinner item was the gringas. It was basically an al pastor (chicken and pineapple) quesadilla. It cost $6. I don't really like al pastor, so, this didn't do anything for me either. That said, I liked the food in general. It's authentic from the Toluca (capitol of the state of Mexico near the big volcano outside of Mexico City) region. I really only have three peeves that may keep it from my "favorites" list. 1. They charge $3 for a soda. 2. They start the tipping options at 18% and you can only tip by percent not real numbers. 3. Something in the mix did give me intestinal issues the next day. The last "peeve" is the most serious. I'll stipulate that it was hot in the car coming home and I didn't ever refrigerate the dinner items.

The plus is in a scary-ish strip mall across from a gas station. some of their windows were cracked and it looked a little trashy outside (inside was better). They have three tables of four in the front and six or seven booths on the left. Two murals are the main decoration. There was nobody else eating there at 1pm. I wonder if the prices are a little high for the neighborhood? A place next door called Willie's Pinchos seemed to be faring alot better. The rest of the antojitos menu was gorditas/sopes, huaraches, tortas, burritos, quesadillas and esquites/elotes. The last two are corn kernels in a cup and corn on the cob. They cost $4. The huaraches were the most expensive at $9. The other tacos come as: al pastor, carnitas, tripa, pollo, buche (stomach), and chorizo. The free chips (colored) were very good and came with a garlic-y chipotle salsa that came in a cute container that I'm not sure is the molca or the jete. In know that isn't what it translates to, I just didn't want to write that it came in a mortar. And from that you can guess that the name means mortar and pestle.

Overall it probably will satisfy a Tex-Mex AND a Mexican (authentic) crowd. You have the Taco Bell/Don Pablo (?) items for the 'fraidy cats and the specialties for the OGs. And if that fails, you'll have to tell me how Willie's was. But, I doubt a fraidy cat would have any better reaction to a pincho. They had parking and took credit cards. I don't love the fact that ingredients seem to have been overlooked/forgotten and that it didn't totally agree with my buche and tripe, but, it was still interesting and they did give me a gigantic soda to go (when I just asked to have the remainder of what they poured me already).

Ace Cafe, Downtown - Moved to Sanford

I tried this place out a week ago. It parallels I-Sore at Livingston Street (Lynx Station). It is purportedly the first American cousin of a famous biker bar outside of London. It is huge. It has two levels. It is in the class of a Planet Hollywood/Hard Rock. It is a bar and restaurant. It has entertainment (music and games). The decor and layout is industrial. The menu is predictable(for a franchise play) and limited. Think burgers and sandwiches and finger foods. They have four "dinners". However, they are regurgitative fare like meatloaf. I had a chili app because I had already eaten lunch and the menu didn't thrill me. I expected breakfast items for some reason. The chili had some chunks of beef in there, but. was nothing to bike home about. I would come here alot for the bar end of things if I lived or worked close by. They even have free parking. They have a relationship with some bike-centric apparel (etc) company next door. It's a destination spot for downtown because of the history/reputation, the provenance of the spot (the old Edge) and the size of the space. You can bring the whole family because A. they will fit and B. it's not that kind of biker bar. Open for lunch too.

The Gourmet Muffin, Audubon Park - Closed

I tried this new bakery across from Sushi Lola Saturday afternoon after my meal on Mills. It was a blessing. We all know I don't have a sweet tooth, but, I must have been having my male menstruation because I woke up NEEDING sweets. Sweets that I didn't get at breakfast. I bought 4 $1 "bites (lemon, blueberry, strawberry and chocolate with toffee or something) and a banana and chocolate chip muffin for $3. If I compare the muffin with the banana empanada I paid $3 for at breakfast, I want to yell I suck Olive Cock Bars and jihad the empanada place. This muffin was L to the E to G to I to the T. No sticky sweet icing dunce cap. The "batter" was more "stretchy/glutinous" than a cup cake "batter". Like a pop over. It tore. It didn't crumble. And there must have been 40 grams of chips in it. It was half chips!. A huge cupcake (may have been a muffin now that I think about it) by today's standards. The "bites" were covered in "crumble" and two had powdered sugar as well. They have other locations (ie Ocala, Gainesville, Lakeland) in Florida. I think they might be the best bakery I can remember trying around here. A limited/manageable selection that is still has a lot of variety. Great quality. Great prices. They even had some "sandwiches". The last thing the world needed was another sweet shop, but, I'm glad we don't stop at need.

Brooklyn Coffee Shop, Mills Ave

I tried this new (less than a month) breakfast and lunch (7am-3pm everyday) spot in the old Ash location on Saturday. I needed to knock off one of the two new openings in this category and the other one (Ace) seems to have better hours and parking options, so, it didn't seem like it had to be done on Saturday. This is going to be a long assessment. Not one that I particularly care to craft at this time. However, I'm doing it with the hope that it leads to a turn around. Because the people seem good.

You can break down the menu into two sections. French (more of a Nawlins/Cajun variety if I had to guess) and Brazilian. I erred and frolicked on the Brazilian side because it was "new". I'm glad I'm not a cat because nine lives wouldn't be near enough for my curiosity. I tried the Vatapa (the special) at $14. It was described as a North Brazilian shrimp and rice stew over white rice. Something akin to a Thai or Indian curry dish. I'm not sure if this is what it is supposed to taste like, but, they should leave this dish to the Thai or Indians if it is. This attempt was a mostly tasteless (less coriander), pasty, luke warm brown roux over overcooked and over fluffed, clumpy rice with frozen, supermarket quality, pale, gray shrimp. A small portion at that and served on a paper plate with plastic cutlery! And at $14, it was twice as expensive as the rest of the menu. Boo. The best thing in it was a single pickled spring onion (scallion). Fail number two and three came in the form of empanadas. Another stab at the Brazilian side of the menu. The cost $6 for two. I tried a banana and a barbacoa. The first bite of the banana exposed an unmixed white powder in the dough. There was also some salt there too. WTF. The bananas were devoid of any sweetening and tasted like that. Sour bananas in a greasy envelope. Boo. I had the barbacoa at home and it was tasteless cubes of beef. Too many fat cubes as well. They didn't even flavor the meat. It came with an acceptable chimichurri sauce. Boo. Fail number four was the shashuka I ordered. It is a Middle Eastern dish of poached eggs, preserved lemon, feta in a tomato and pepper and sumac sauce. I was still hungry from the Vatapa fail and I was trying to give them every opportunity because they were offering more than the run of the mill fare. The first mistake was that they somehow thought that I wanted this to go. That meant it became dinner. That probably (at the very least) resulted in the eggs over cooking. I'll grant them that. But, I didn't see any evidence of lemon or feta in the container. Not sure If they forgot or in the case of the lemon that it was too big to make the container. There was also too much sauce. I'm not sure if they drown it when it is served in house, but, they did in the to go order. This was also kind of small portion. Even at a more reasonable $7. Maybe they think the one piece of toast they serve with it satiates the hungriest of customers? It appears that the owner (Brazilian) has a chef that can't handle that side of the menu. I'm ASSUMING he handles the other side. They have to either practice cooking the Brazilian side, drop the Brazilian side or hire a chef that can handle the Brazilian side. I would hate for them to lose this part of their identity. It helps differentiate them. But, it can't be at the expense of everything else.

The other side of the menu is more nouveau and French. You have a benedict and a florentine and an egg sandwich on a croissant and a normal two egg dish and another egg dish (in a crock?) that are a bit French. And two of those "toasts" that are en vogue. An avocado one (of course) and an interesting sounding bacon pate one. They also have a burger.

The real problem, as you can see, is that the menu SOUNDS interesting. They need to make it TASTE interesting. I tried alot more dishes than the regular customer would and they didn't make their case to me. The shashuka was even on the "other" side of the menu. Add in that the parking situation is tough and they did nothing (went backwards) to the already aging space and I really should be lambasting the place. What saved them was the warmth. The people seem to care. It's a limited "band of brothers". There was one waiter, a chef and an owner. The chef and owner were serving. That's either sweet or unprofessional given your mood. I was in a good one, so, I liked interacting with the the primos. I'm not sure what is going on withe tableware.

A little more on the decor. They did something to let in more light and that didn't help the ambiance. You see all the defects. Scratches, dust, exposed nails and screws, old paint, empty (except for some LBGT lit) baskets. It needs a face lift. The crowd was really sparse until 1pm. It was four lesbians and me. Then two breeding couples came in. The younger guy looked like he wanted to slink out and I'm not sure they didn't. Which is a shame because I like that it isn't the eggs and bacon place you would expect from a place called the Brooklyn Coffee Shop (called that because the owner met his wife there) and the prices are quite reasonable ($6-$8). It's more like a place Gianni Versace would get a newspaper at before he got shot (Miami reference). They have two types of gourmet coffee for Christ's sake. I'm surprised because they said that they have rolled out a few of these in Brazil. They should have hit the ground running.

Hops Boss, Winter Park

After trying a failing to find a new brewery called Whipporwill in the Milk District on Friday night, I thought I'd see if these guys were finally open. Yes, they were. Been open for two weeks. They are in the old Hotto Potto space in that strip mall at Fairbanks/Aloma and 436. They are owned by a Ukranian who hired a countryman to make light, euro style beer. I tried what they had so far - Pilsner, Wheat, Porter or Stout. Dark Honey and Light Honey. I settled on the Dark Honey. It was sweet. Little carbonation. Probably little alcohol. It cost $6. It was good. The other non-honey beers seemed a little weak/watery for my neo-American influenced palate. Maybe that is good. Most of the breweries around here (and country wide) are churning out similar tasting stuff. We kind of need an old world reminder/supplier. They will also serve East European/German food. They remodeled. I believe they do lunch. Odd name for a place where they probably have the least hop forward beer. Friendly service.

Grub Crawl - Sand Lake Rd Area: Kokino (Closed) and Gyu-Kaku

I tried these places on Turkey Lake Rd (right off Sand Lake) on Friday night. This was going to be a well deserved crucifixion of two pains in my ass after multiple missed connections, but, I ended up liking the first and loving the second.

Kokino - I must have tried to eat here five times. They changed the times. They stopped lunch. The buffet was ridiculously priced. I just had a beer here (out of spite), but, the vibe was good. Hot PYT's (staff too) with a boozy disposition. The menu (tapas) was a little small and ordinary. Not many there for dinner. Nice, modern decor. Maybe they should expand the bar area. It is in that strip mall with the gym (World or Gold's) and Graffiti Junction.

Gyu-Kaku - I tried them at their announced opening last summer and they kept having construction delays. Then it was that they weren't doing lunch yet (though advertised). Then a private party. Then a huge wait. It never came together. Then I went to San Mateo and saw they were a CHAIN! It was over and done with. But, my list is dwindling and I needed to excoriate Kokino, so, they got the call again. Golden bullet with their name on it ready to go. And then another wait for a seat. It was almost go (to go order) time. But, I found my chi and they really did find me a table fast and it was a lesson in Zen from there. The place is a chain from Japan, but, it is unimportant. No one else really offers this kind of robata (grilling) experience. Some do it. For you. Some boil. Some (Koreans) have a similar type of self-cooking experience. But, I seem to recall they all use an electric heat source. Now hot coals are supposedly the best, but, I think I've only done that in Koreatown in NYC. They use gas under a metal disc with holes at Gyu. I had toro beef, toro pork, chicken breast and pork belly. The toro are thin cuts from the stomach area. The beef was great and cheap ($5 from around ten slices). The two pork items ($6 and $5) were ok. I preferred the chicken ($4). All orders had around ten slices. Very fresh. Very fun to cook. They had tons of options: veggies, tongue, intestines, all cuts of beef, waygu, shrimp, duck, etc. Lots of apps from fried sushi rolls to dumplings. Also some rice dishes and soups. Not everything is Japanese. They also drop the prices after 9pm (and at happy hour) automatically. On booze too! My pork belly dropped to $4 and a Sapporo dropped to $3. They also have a decent selection of mostly affordable sake. Service was very polite. My white server even tried to act/speak Japanese. It was full even at 9pm. People of all types. Lots of good humor. I wish they had a few more of these around town. Will be on Favorite's list. It is across from the Kokino strip mall before the gas station on Sand Lake.

Millenia 106, Mall at Millenia Area - Closed

I had lunch at this newish  (under two months) American (with Portuguese and Brazilian undertones) restaurant on Friday. It is across from the Jag dealer in that strip mall on your left at the first turn into the mall off I-4. It is not the first place to try and make it at this spot. It deserves to. It is something I imagine I would conceive if I ever chose to get into the game. A reasonably priced, cleverly sourced, balanced, avant garde, menu in a tasteful and inviting environment and lacking in self-reverence. It doesn't have many (if any) worn out/fad dishes. It avoids being pigeon holed. Like a man/woman who has style, it ignores what is trendy for what is eternally tasteful (even adds a bit of their own personality). I had the fresh fish (the waiter said it was a golden version of mahi mahi) sandwich with a side for $12 and the lunch special (I chose the Margarita pizza - with salad and drink -  to go) for $13. I asked blend the two meals (salad would have wilted and I needed the drink), so, I ate the salad then and there. It was very fresh and opulent. A very clean leafed assortment of field greens and spinach with cherry tomatoes in a lightly applied citrus dressing. Two minor criticisms: the tomatoes were ice cold and the sea salt they added didn't bring about what ever effect they were looking for. It just clashed with the citrus. The batter (beer) was under cooked on the inside. It made the quality of the fish hard to assess. Sticky. A slight timing adjustment. Otherwise, it was refined. It created a crisp and fluffy shell you see on the best examples of fish and chips. The bun and veg were top notch. A very tall sandwich. Whatever mayo-y spread they added was applied with restraint/finesse. The side (chips/fries) were perfect. Shoe string. Crisp. Not sticky batter application. No stupid skins. No brown flaccid mutants. A large amount. I had the pizza for dinner and it was ok. Maybe 12". They didn't pound the CO2 out of the dough, so, the pizza had many bubbles. A rookie mistake. It was also a bit "crusty" for me. Not thick crust. Just wide. The cheese and fresh tomatoes showed respect for the diner. It was ok. Should have sampled the duxelle infused burger for you folks instead. It was also a lunch special possibility. The rest of the lunch menu is pretty small. Dinner has a few more entrees. And Sunday brunch was the biggest. I don't recall seeing anything north of $16. The wine and beer selections were thoughtfully selected for price, quality and singularity. I'm having a hard time recalling the menu items. That's what a red eye from the Coast will do to you. But, also because they weren't what you find everywhere else. I recall a red shrimp dish, an avocado toast with something on it, a Brazilian conglomeration of some sort, fresh oysters, an interesting pasta dish. I hope you get the picture. And if you don't, Take a flier or just trust me. The interior was fully retouched. It has a minimalist and earthy tone. Almost like some one's upgraded private loft. A gleaming open kitchen surrounded by everyday items (like cook books - see if you like the chefs they follow). The bar is up front. The tables (twenty-ish four seaters) are spaced well and symmetrically. There is a curtained off private room in the back. Two big long tables. It's casual and elegant. Masculine and feminine. They even have sports on tv at the bar. It should be acceptable to parties composed of a "mixed" social strati. Burgers and pizza for the Chili's and Applebee's goofballs (or kids) and the rest of the menu for the 1%-ers. Access in and out, mall congestion and parking is a little bit of a pain. Suffer through it. It's cheaper and more intimate than Earl's Kitchen. This is clearly a chef dominated restaurant. And this guy has his head about him. They also of a ridiculously affordable happy hour (I think 4-6 or 7). Closed on Monday (I think). Not a hard ticket to get at this point. You should be able to walk in. They will be on the favorite's list.

Joyful Garden, Chinatown (W50)

I popped into this new (one month) Chinese restaurant in "Chinatown" (on west 50) on my way home from Winter Garden today. I grabbed some things for dinner. I'll tell you about them after I'm done listing SOME of the freaky (in a good way) stuff they offer. Seaweed and raw crab. Pork tongue. Fish belly. Cordyceps flower. Rabbit. Pork liver. Frogs. Geoduck. Yellow Croaker. Goose Fish. Arrow Head Fish. Fish buckle. Rotten Leather. And I didn't include stuff like jelly fish and snails as freaky. You get the idea. I tried to ascertain the regional cuisine they represent, but, I just heard that the owner had a place in NYC's Chinatown. I settled on a safe dish and an experiment. I had the Fuchow (thin noodle wrapping) Dumpling Soup for $5 and the Pork Stomach with Sour Cabbage over Rice for $9. The soup was good. The usual chicken/pork broth and 16 dumplings! A good amount of broth. The stomach was actually quite tasty. It had the texture of an abalone or some other tough mollusk with a porky taste. I'm not sure if pigs have four stomachs like cows, but, this one was non-icky if there are multiples. The sauce was some kind of very light, black bean involved sauce. Chinese food can be ridiculous on the sauce side, so, I was happy with this level of restraint. The cabbage was good. I didn't care for all the green and red pepper. I hate non-spicy pepper. It tastes like herbaceous barf and makes you gassy. The rice portion was huge. Just white rice, A little water logged/soggy. The plaace seat sixteen in four tables on the right and about the same in two tables on the left. There were a few more tables around the bend on the right and two private rooms. The decoration is mostly water tanks. Some with bubbles and some with dinner. It's located in the part of the complex across from the oriental Market (to the right of the entrance). The composition of the patrons was surprisingly mixed for such an ambitious and new place. It was full. I would be food spelunking here once a week if I lived near by. Freaky food that tastes good? Now that is a business plan!

Market To Table, Winter Garden

OK, I wanted to knock these out before I go chasing polar bears. I stopped by this American restaurant today at lunch. I was about to throw a conniption when I saw that it was closed. I had checked Google a few times and it was supposed to be open. This is another reason I'm knocking this out. They are on summer hours. This means no lunch on week days and a brunch on Sunday. Back to the brewing conniption. I must have looked forlorn because the door opened and I explained how far I had journeyed and the owner said he would make me something for my trouble. It turned out to be a cheese burger and although it wasn't what I had geared myself up for (it had a reputation as a finer dining establishment), it turned out to be good. Medium well instead of medium rare, but, otherwise buttery and topped with fresh veg. The home made chips were good and it came with a pickle. It cost $0. Now that is how to turn a frown upside down and why I'll speak well of then in the future. Their dinner menu (what I saw) ran from $24 to $30. A smallish (6) entree selection with complementary components (spelt, grains of paradise) that seemed more interesting than the canvases (filet, chicken, tile fish). The apps were a little on the "popular" side. That should please the non-adventurous. The burrata at $8 seemed like a value. Other sides ran to $12. The charcuterie board had whiskey salami and wild boar salami. They had some (4) desserts. A few wines (5) per color/type and a few beers. They didn't do much to space (the old Al Fresco spot behind the theater). They opened the end of the bar to have a cold prep showcase and partitioned the middle of the room with some cheap metal shelving with iffy nick nacks on them. Maybe it looks better with the lights on. I'm not sure if I can suffer a repeat trip in the near future (50 is filled with retards), but, I'm glad I got some sense of their skill and a full dose of their ethos. The town just completed a multi-level covered garage behind them. This should help a common complaint about going to WG - no parking. The truly opened around six months ago.

Laurel, Winter Park

I grabbed a Cuban sandwich to go on Thursday at this new (one month) Latin restaurant on Park Ave. I was walking through town after my La Merce meal and stumbled upon them. I think Paris Bistro was in this spot (the enclosed area with the koi pond) previously. It was fine. It cost $12. The ham and pork were of good quality. It came with plantain chips. I'd prefer paying two bucks extra and getting the special at La Merce. Their menu is blase. Thirteen items. The most interesting was a pulled fish pie. The rest is your usual Latin stuff. The Cuban was the cheapest thing. I can't think of another Latin place on Park, so, maybe they can make a go of it. They didn't change a thing to the interior. It was empty at 1pm.

La Merce, Winter Park

I had lunch at this new (3 months) Spanish (Andalusian - southern) restaurant on Morse off Park on Thursday. I think it replaces a vegan spot. There have been so many casualties in this location that I can't keep track. If the crowd at lunch is any indication (no one else), these guys are going to share the same fate if they don't pick a lane. If they are going to charge what they do ($30 range with a standard deviation of $10), they have to improve the experience. Now they are a one legged stool. The service and ambiance do not support the price points they demand. They must be counting on the food to carry the whole load. Not that the service or ambiance are bad. They just aren't on par with a Luma or Prato (for example) and the pricing is about the same. Not to mention the food is better (based on this meal) at those locations. I had an acceptable lunch special (pork or chicken with two sides, dessert and a soda for $14. That was a value. However, if I had ordered a $27 chicken dish (for example) with a $4 soda (3/4 ice) then I would have been dissatisfied. Then I would have really been mad at the dry pork and the crusty mashed potatoes and the store bought rolls and the lack of a butter knife (or butter) or spoon for the tapanade and the non-cloth napkin and the plastic plants in the centerpiece. At $14 I can let that stuff go. At their regular menu prices, I could not. The dish I had had some nice asparagus (slightly wilted) and the sauce I chose (five spice) was a nice mix of chicken stock, cumin, honey and assorted hues of peppercorn). The meal also included a mini guava pie with vanilla ice cream. The dessert was delicious. I hope they didn't buy that too. The place is cute. They went minimalistic. The color motif is black and white and light blue. They "wrote" their name on one wall. It seats about forty. Tables and booths. New. They kept the bar area and patio. If it is not clear, I enjoyed my meal. But, I didn't pay $4 for a soda or x for an entree plus y for dessert. I actually stopped myself from ordering a regular entree or adding an app when I saw the $4 soda charge. It irked me. I suggest they keep it quasi-casual and lower the prices by a third. It has too much of a family run vibe (name is short for Mercedes - the grand mother) to compete with the professional "white table cloth" set. I worry that everyone will do the calculus that I did and just settle on the lunch menu. And I don't think they want that or can survive like that. I don't think they have competition (on Park) for their type of cuisine, so, they have a chance. I hope they succeed. Not just because I'm sick of coming back to this pot, but, because they seemed nice and the seem to import conscientiously and have some fun items on the menu. For now, I recommend the lunch special. I'd feel a little guilty advocating the full monty.

Italian House, Curry Ford Rd Area

I stopped here on my way from the airport on Monday night. It's on South Crystal Lake Dr in between 50 and Curry Ford. The menu says they have been there since 1989. The waitress said that the current owners have been there for the last eight. I had a slice for $2.25 and a chicken parm sandwich with fries for $7.25. I was going to try a platter (soup and pasta) for you, but, I just sensed they would be over cooked. The slice was better than I expected, but, that made me wish the cheese blend was a little less heavy on the Parmesan. It made it "saw dusty". Plus they use too much. It over weights the slice. I know that is a bonus for most people. The crust was dry. The sauce was just tomato paste (not much). The chicken in the parm was way too thin. Dry.  It also tasted like sausage. I'd bet they fry everything in the same oil. Not much sauce or cheese. The fries were perfect. Very crisp. They have the usual assortment of items you find in a "hick" Italian restaurant. It will seem very familiar to most people. Pricing was fair. The service was friendly and attentive. They offered a to go soda. Parking is a little scarce. The place looks like an old Pizza Hut. It seats about sixty. It actually got more busy AFTER eight pm. It's the type of place that has a map of Italy place mat and plastic menus. We all probably grew up thinking this was what Italian was. It plays its role in the Universe.

McGinnty's Irish Pub, Edgewood (Closed)

I grabbed a burger to go at this Irish Pub on Orange Ave (near the Chris Craft boat offices) last Thursday at lunch time. It was mediocre. It cost $7 and $1 for cheese. It came with under cooked fries. The burger was small and over cooked. I asked for medium and it was well done. The bun and veg were blah. This place replaced Uncle Henry's. I think. The menu seemed to be ambitious: crocks, fish and chips, pies, pasties, corned beef, stuffed potatoes, stew, bangers, etc. They seemed to have spent some money on the redo. They have alot of dart boards and two pool tables. Hopefully, the food can be better. I didn't really challenge them. Partly because places like these always seem to have mediocre food. They seem to be avid soccer enthusiasts.

Firefly, Winter Park - Closed

I tried this newish (two months) gastro pub on N. Orlando in the Winter Park Village last night. It replaced the very similar venture (Taps) across from Mitchell's Fish Market. The Weekly said the menu was uninspiring, so I wasn't really itching to waste a slot to find out if they were right. However, it just so happened that my plane would be landing at a weird time and it was on my way home. I'm kind of glad it worked out that way. The changes (to the menu in particular) are minimal. The one thing that jumped out at me was that they have lanterns/jars filled with jumbles of Xmas lights that I'm sure are meant to simulate fire flies. You know, the ones that kids trap on summer evenings and suffocate. The decor seemed the same. The wine vending machines survived. The beer selection may be a tad larger and better. The menu probably has some new items, but, it is still basically finger foods, flat breads and burgers. Maybe the chicken dishes and poutine are new, but, those are just mash ups when you get down to it. I tried the most risky and over loaded item for you. I had a Piggly Wiggly burger with fries for $12. It let my try the burger meat, pulled pork, bacon and fries (and peanut butter and bun if we are getting technical). Even though the kitchen was closing and I had no right to expect that any attention would be paid to it, it came out perfectly. The meat was even a tad under medium. I liked the flavor and grind. The bacon was thick and crunchy. The pork was a bit bland. The fries were a tad limp. But, the type (skin on) they use invariably are. The bun was a bit "crumbly/old". I would not recommend the combination. Based strictly on taste. I think it needed sweetness and/or spice. Maybe a chutney or peppered chocolate mole? The peanut butter overwhelmed the already savory mix. It was just three or four upper cuts of richness. I even tried to temper down the assault with the fries. It helped a little. But, once again, not bad. Just "too"! I had had a triple patty burger at the Indianapolis airport (96th St Burgers - pretty good) for lunch, so, I'm actually surprised I had any appetite for it at all. They served the burger on a wooden cutting board. The fries came in a little mock fry basket. The change in ownership has probably lifted the rating of the spot without doing anything that would anger anyone who used to go here. It was better than I was expecting or what I remembered about the last place. I was scared it would be the same experience. I'd be interested in trying the other items on the menu. The beer "curation" seems to be in good hands. I believe the bartender who was on duty is in charge of it and he seemed to be very invested with his responsibility. Always a good sign. I didn't check out the wine.

*There is now a Rubio's Tacos across from Firefly. I lived in Southern California for a while and it WAS a very good fish taco play. Now it is a little "corporate". I don't love their "specialty" - fried fish tacos. It's like putting a corn dog in a bun in my mind. The whole seafood tacos idea was a bit strange for an Easterner. We call that crap a "wrap". I don't know who "invented" it first. But, that's what they do and it's there. For how long they have been there, I have no idea. Just letting you know because I'm not making an extra trip to try a chain I've already tried a bazillion times.

Bad As's Sandwich, Milk District

I grabbed a Bad As's to go at this sandwich spot on Saturday night. It's in the building that Seven Bites used to occupy. Go to 50 near the airport and turn on N. Primrose. The sandwich cost $10 and consisted of two slices of pastrami (beef), healthy piles of shredded pork and chicken, chips, some veg and a garlic aioli (on a sub roll). Plus a side of home made chips. It was very "Puerto Rican" in flavor and make up. I think that's their bailiwick. I find these combinations a bit overwhelming. Very rich (and in this case, garlicky). The pastrami can't be located. In texture or taste. The chicken and pork kind of disappear into each other. They were both very salty. The chips aren't necessary (and I put chips in all my sandwiches and ff in my burgers). The pickled onions (the brightness) are overwhelmed by the garlic. It's a sloppy mess. Not a bad mess. Just a bunch of stuff that is probably better off individually. That said, I enjoyed it (picking each item off individually with my fingers) and the quality was good. The portion was generous. They have around six other "staple" sandwich that use the three meats written about. Plus three specials. I think they had a breakfast menu. They renovated the inside. I think they have been open for four months. I think their story is that they were the food truck behind the building when Seven Bites was the tenant.

Nalan Sultan Mediterranean Grill, Apopka

I tried this newish (7 months) Turkish restaurant in the red brick strip mall across from the Publix strip mall for lunch on Wednesday. It is on 436 where Altamonte Springs turns into Apopka. It was ok. I find that this type of cuisine is rarely very good and often very bad. I am satisfied if it is in the not very bad category. Like this place. I mean ground or cubed meat and bitter herbs can only aspire so far. Like geometric art. I had a ground meat (kofte) platter - lamb for $12 and a starter bowl of cacik - yogurt with mint, dill and cucumber for $6. Let's start with the cacik. How does 25 cents worth of watery yogurt justify a $6 price tag? Maybe it is the half a pita they serve with it or the essence of cucumber. Not that this was bad. It's just an industry wide outrage. It's a dip/side. It should be free or $2 max. But, I guess it is like trading with a team that has a poor minor league system. They over value the talent in their bare coffers. The lamb was ok. Four "thumb to middle finger" sized patties. Not much if any seasoning. Tough. Stringy. It came with "soggy to wet" rice, a salad of lettuce and parsley and a tiny cup of tzatziki. The soda came in a can and since they poured the contents into a glass, I'm not sure I got the whole can. The main issue (I think) is that the owner/cook is a one man band and looked disinterested/hung over. Let's hope it was an off day. The interior is pretty bare. The kitchen/grill is on the right in the back. Five or six light wood benches round out the rest of the room. They have some travel posters of Turkey on the wall. I'm not putting it in the "very bad" category because the other employee (owner's wife?) was nice about boxing up the large portion and she also gave another table's child some crayons to play with. Plus a few guys on the patio said they love the place. Plus the gyro meat wasn't pre-sliced. See I am not always so inflexible. The menu has the usual stuff plus four seafood options. Now the name may be an "in-sultan" comparison to Turkish royalty , but, I've seen and tasted alot worse around town. A step above a take out gyro place. A small step.