Grub Crawl - Azalea Park and Casselberry: CBG and Crab Ocean (Closed)

I've spotted four new places on 436. These are two. I tried them this afternoon. The first is near on the north side of 50. The receipt says Azalea Park. I've never heard that area called that. The second place is at Howell Branch Rd. I'd be surprised if either is with us in a year.

Coffee Burgers Grill - It seemed like it may be a cute chain or something. It was just a boring Puerto Rican café. It opened a week ago. I had the "little" cheeseburger for $2.85 and a chicken philly for $6. The patty on the CB was as thin as a Krystal burger. The odd thing is that the vegetables were the best part. Very fresh. The chicken was the on redeemable part of the philly. The bun was hot dog bad and they used shredded something or other and American cheese. Onions were ok. The chicken was just pounded down, grilled chicken. The place serves all meals. It is oddly brand new yet seemingly dingy. It was empty when I was there. It was a little late for lunch and they are new (1 week), but.... The craziest thing they offer is ribs. Mostly café food. It took longer than it should to come out.

Crab Ocean - It took over the spot that was most recently a Smokey Bones. In a big parking lotted strip mall that has never had anything good in it. It's a by the pound "boil" place. Mostly. I grabbed a fried catfish basket to go from $10. It was better than I expected. I don't usually buy fried seafood, but, I wasn't hauling a pound of boiled shrimp home for dinner. It came with fries. They battered them. But, they were at least fresh and plentiful. They also added some ketchup, cole slaw (tiny tin), and tartar sauce. And a bib, two forks, two sets of plastic gloves and some napkins. Never received gloves before. The portion was four pieces of densly coated catfish. It was fried nicely. Good crust. The lack of oil actually concerned me. Not freshly fried? Or superbly fired? The coating seemed like ground corn flour. I'm not sure if I'll go back. I don't like buying seafood from places that cater to a mass audience. You can't trust the quality of the seafood or the preparation. Although, everything is flash frozen nowadays, so who knows. They sell blue crab, shrimp, crawfish, snow crab, clams, green or black mussels, king crab, dungeness crab and lobster tail (probably Caribbean or Australian). They range from $13 to $34 a pound. They also let you mix and/or choose a "boil" (corn, potato. egg, etc mixed in). I don't like boiled seafood/ I like steamed seafood. Another reason I may not be back. They also have fried shrimp, swai, oystrer, calamari and chicken baskets. All $10. Raw or steamed oysters on the half shell. The place is huge. I would guess the "log" interior is left over from Smokey Bones. They threw up some kayaks and lighthouses to make it "nautical". There is a full service bar in the center rear. A square floor plan. The name is poorly chosen. As is the signage. There was a fancier seafood place down the road that just closed (and the building demolished) and one on Alamo that did too. I'm not sure if they are aware of that. This is a big space and if the lease isn't favorable, I don't see them drawing enough people to make it work.

*I was bemoaning the lack of artistry a few posts back. I'm reading a book now that has it. It's called Infinite Jest by David Foster Wallace. It's not new or unknown. Marshall from How I Met Your Mother did a movie about him. All kinds of devotees love this thing. I've almost picked it up several times in my life and got distracted. I'm glad I finally started it. It's impressive. It interweaves multiple stories in a semi-fictional future. Odd settings (and characters) like a competitive tennis academy, AA hallway house, a government agent stake out, etc. It's too bizarre to try and describe. It was written in the mid-ninties and presages phenomena like Net Flix and Celebrity Presidents. I like books like Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy and Utopia and Gulliver's Travels that lampoon society. This is in that vein. It's a dense and difficult read at first. You don't understand certain things (like why the dates are "sponsored" by products) and his vocabulary and breadth of knowledge of complicated subject matter is impressive. He writes like Kerouac on a speed high. Few paragraphs. Endless description (but so singular). He wrote his own key word addendum to explain things. It's hundreds of pages on its own. I bought it in an airport for around $20 last April. It was mass marketed for an anniversary. So, it's around. My version is just under one thousand pages (without the addendum). It reminds me of Salinger, Burroughs, Kerouac, Proust, Woolf, HS Thompson and maybe a little Bret Easton Ellis. I dare you to.

Grub Crawl - New Smyrna Beach: Caffe Vesuvio's, Bagel World and Pappas Drive In

I visited these places during the day on the thirteenth. The first two are on 44 after you cross over the intercoastal. The last one is on US 1 before the airport.

Caffe Vesuvio's - I grabbed two slices of pepperoni for $3 a piece. They said the owner is from Napoli. You couldn't really tell by these spongy, American, low cheese quality slices. Better looking were some sandwiches I saw being served to another table. I felt I should have gone in this direction while looking at the menu, but, I thought it was just a pizzeria and I had prepared myself for slices to be eaten on the beach. The thing about the sandwiches was the bread. It looked "baguette-y". They said they bake it there. It looked like it. They have a full Italian menu. It is a a full service restaurant. New. Not bad looking. A 16" pizza is $14. Most things are not above the mid-teens. I should go back and do it for real at some point. I think they said they have been open for a year or so.

Bagel World NSB - This little shack was a bit farther down the street. Near the curve. I grabbed a jalapeno bagel with regular cream cheese for $3. I've had worse bagels. That's about all they have. Some breakfast sandwiches and a few more things. Tiny place. Oldish. Ten or so varieties of bagels. They said they have been there for decades. Like forty or fifty.

Pappas Drive In - There are around five or six places I have to try on US 1. I picked them first because I'm a sucker for drive ins. I'll venture that this is Greek owned. Some of the items were Greek. A huge menu of every thing from prime rib and grouper to hot dogs and milkshakes. I grabbed a double cheeseburger (only 70 cents more), a hot dog and a vanilla coke float. The DCB was $3.25. The HD was $1.95. The float was $2.50. I ate them for dinner. The float and HD were average. The DCB was pretty good. Crinkly patty. Buttered bun. You can order and eat in your car or eat inside. They took credit cards. They also have a full breakfast menu that is served anytime. A little more on the menu. They have Italian dishes. They have seafood platters. They have liver and onions. Like I said, it has almost everything. They even have beer. And cereal. You get the idea. A living compendium of Twentieth Century dining.

* Some things I've seen lately: On CNN in the airport. A special on coffee. Two crazy ones I remember are the Sami people of Sweden putting cheese in their coffee in place of milk and a Vietnamese version with eggs instead of milk (war shortages started it).  I also saw a Canadian Guy Fieri-like show where they go to Rome and the place makes a cacio e pepe pizza by putting ice cubes in the middle of the dough and then bakings it and then adding (see how I'm making the verb tenses agree)  grated cacio to the water. I also ate an interesting porridge in Jackson Hole. It was made with quinoa, granola, soy milk, shredded coconut and fresh fruit.

** Riddle me this - Why does a sub 7oz bag of gold fish crackers fit in such a smaller bag than 7oz of Cape Cod potato chips (or 5oz of others)? It's rhetorical. One scum bag is selling you air and not exactly helping the environment. I don't get it. You would think the economics of stuffing more packages in a delivery vehicle would offset whatever marketing benefits large size packaging must deliver. And a note on the "green" item I cited recently about fashion and the environment. I also just have received confirmation of a theory I have held for years. All you little twits constantly on your smart devices and recharging them at every turn. Inquire into have much electricity is required to quench you addiction. And then chirp about sustainability.

Delaney's Tavern, SoDo

I tried this replacement of Doc's across from the hospital (is it still ORMC?) on South Orange two Sundays ago at lunch. It opened in August. It is now on the ground floor. They have put a nice looking (didn't see the rooms) hotel on the second floor. It's run by the Doc's owner. Doctor something or other. They have a brunch ($40) on Sunday's. I didn't try it. Aside from some meat (prime rib?) carving station, it seemed like a VERY middling hotel spread. They had stone crabs, but, they were so small and hairy (thawed) that you know they tasted like origami. I went with scallop and shrimp grits for $22. It wasn't that much of a hose job. They offered up four "real" (abductor attached), large scallops and four plump, fresh shrimp. Cooked perfectly. The purple grits (I think from some supplier in Jacksonville that they felt we would be impressed by by naming them on the menu) were also what they should be. They also added a lot of tasso ham and I think some kind of cheese. It was topped with a creamy, tomato-y, peppery sauce akin to (and maybe) a remoulade. A nice serving size. The menu had just changed and was diverse and manageable. I remember $13 burgers, $10 flat breads, $10 sandwiches and then some higher priced "structured" main courses. They give every type of shopper an exit ramp. The one peeve they plucked was the $3.50, ice filled soda. Really? They also had a trendy collection of wine, beer and cocktails. The buffet was served in a "back room". I was in the front (bar). There was a smallish "middle" room. The floor plan is rather rectangular. I was across from the bar in an elevated, semi-circular booth. There were two couples at the bar, one in the middle room and four of five couples in the buffet area. It seemed like a mix of hotel guests and artsy locals. The décor was on the trendy side. I seem to recall grays and blacks. More sterilized "farmsy/woodsy" than industrial. All new. Not a ton of light. TVs above the bar. Service was professional and polite. On the weekends you can parking in front on the metered (thanks City Beautiful) streets or they have a parking garage in back (that they validate) or a valet service. I think I liked Doc's. I definitely like Delaney's. I haven't been able to say that about new openings very much lately. So, I guess I have to tell you to make the effort. It's a much better re-do than Julie Broughton's tummy tuck and breast reduction. It should be on the 2020 Favorite's list.

*Starbucks promised to eliminate food waste by 2020. Now they say that they will be 60% NON-compliant by 2021! Remember that the next time you pat yourself on the back for spending responsibly or believing "socially" responsible pr bs. I could also tell you some things about how much fossil fuel the fashion industry uses. But, you wouldn't feel so smug about yourselves then. Would you? I mean, I HAVE to be on trend. I don't have to take a plane to cross the ocean.

Grub Crawl - Mills/50: Chi-Kin and Z Asian

I tried these places around Mills and 50 last Saturday night.

Chi-Kin Korean Fried Chicken - It's run by the King Bao people. They opened December 11th. It's basically Wing Zone meets Chik-Fila. I ordered ten wings for $11. I believed they would be Korean fried (batter). They were just fried in their own skin and doused with gojujang sauce. I forgot to ask them to serve it on the side so it wouldn't make the skin soggy. Why wing people don't just do this for their own benefit is beyond me. The wings tasted like they had been injected or marinated with something briny. I hate that. I also ordered some waffle fries. They were fine. They are open all day every day. They are in the old Noodles and Rice location on Mills near to 50 (7-11 side). They also sell chicken sandwiches, fingers and bibimbap. Very little parking.

Z Asian - As the name implies, this is a Vietnamese Kitchen. I kid. I spoke with the owner and the name is more preposterous when explained. It's not even like when companies try and get first listing in a phone book (or whatever they use nowadays) by putting AAA in front. This puts them last. He said it is for the Z generation. He, somehow, is trying to force them to eat his "traditional" dishes which he thinks they are forsaking. I'll get back to that in a minute. So, I guess he thinks they will see a "Z" and be drawn like moths to a flame and then he sneaks in the same-o lame-o menu. I'll bet his menu is listed online. I guess he doesn't know people can do recon before they leave the house. It gets better. Now, he is now going to change the menu to have more "street" food. Doesn't that defeat the original mission statement? I guess those dishes could be "traditional" But, why not start there? The menu is BOOORING. I used to like Vietnamese food. But, I can think of no other category that is as "me-too" as Vietnamese cuisine. Rice Noodles (with or with out broth). Or swap noodles for the rice itself. And how about a roll. Fried or raw. It's the same dullness in every Vietnamese restaurant that opens. Give me a break. Try something not "traditional". Even if it is just to differentiate yourselves so you can charge more. I'm begging you. If there are no more of grandma's recipes you are hiding from  us - Evolve!

I had a $12 noodle special that they rang up as beef ($2 more) and then made it seem like they were doing me a favor by fixing it after I called them out. It was rice noodles with grilled pork and shrimp and a spring roll. The spring roll was most likely purchased ready made. The pork was good. The shrimp were tiny and terrible. Old shrimp taste and smell married with a burnt taste and smell. This is another thing I'm starting to resent. The quality of the goods served is very poor. Especially seafood. They make $5 Chines take out look particular. You can't even experiment because you know anything "exotic" won't be fresh. The noodles were tasteless (as they must be). The fish sauce (that you have to employ) is a poor major component. It's like the first Vietnamese ate this and then one day said "This is so bland. The fish sauce isn't working for me. Can I at least get the water from the pot with it"? And pho was born. I hope they can come up with some new dishes because there is no reason to come here (or anywhere) as it is. Just pick the closest Vietnamese place and go there, They are all identical. *Another disconnect is that this "traditional" menu has two Thai dishes on it.

The place looks ok except for the misplaced logo and neon sign. The "traditional" décor is at odds with them. The tables and seats are wood. The chair frames are metal. Wood wainscoting. Black ceiling. Gray walls. Some nice art work. It seats about ninety. Bar against back wall. Window views of traffic. Nine people there. They still asked me to move to another table (from the one the host seated me at) even with no dinner rush probable. Unsurprisingly, no new customers came in after me. It opened in May. Not open Monday. Parking in back. On 50. SusHi next door. Obviously I'm not recommending it. I don't know if you saw Rock of Ages. In it, they make a boy band called Z Boyz. with a z on the end. That is the joke. They think the Z makes it better. It doesn't. It makes it worse. Way worse.

The Steer Steakhouse, Belle Isle - Closed

I tried this steakhouse in the old German restaurant location (Baern Steuben?) on South Orange and Sand Lake on Saturday at lunch. They are closed Sunday and Monday. They opened in May. It was a good value. Way better than any chain steak restaurant. I had the daily special because it was so amazingly inexpensive and then threw in an app for curiosity's sake. The special cost $9 and was comprised of salad, bread, prime rib and side. The salad was a little "American". Iceberg, cherry tomato and cucumber. The veg and bowl were cold, so, it was pre-prepared. That killed any flavor it would have had. The veg were all fresh though. The blue cheese dressing they buy had big chunks of cheese in it. The bread was pressed and buttered and cut into strips. The spread was a little off. Either butter stored uncovered in the fridge (absorbed odors) or margarine or something. The prime rib is something I usually avoid because I find it fatty and slimy. They grilled theirs with a rub and that was something I approve of. (and never have seen). It was a long, thin cut. The only problem was that it was one third total fat. All of one end. You couldn't trim that? Probably why it was on the special menu. It came with a sauce it didn't need. They called it Hunter sauce. It was a dark gravy topped with fried onions and cauliflower. For a side, I chose mac and cheese. It was a huge bowl full. A little bland and thin for my taste. Maybe they used skim milk? Or they didn't drain the pasta well? They put some cheese on the top. That helped. It came in a metal tin. The app I settled on was chimichurri beef skewers. They cost $8. I thought they would be strips of flank. They (2) were cubes (4) of a better cut. I couldn't eat them there (too full), so, I tried one cube and then wrapped them up and nuked them the next day. They were good. Even after a wait and an x-ray. No fat. Sauce was good. The menu is small enough to be managed. They have T-bones and filets, etc. They have sandwiches and burgers. They have other meats (ie gator). They have soups and salads. The wine selection was better than I expected. They have a wine display area in front. They have flights of beer. You know that's fancy. Prices are in line. Service was fast and polite. It seats about sixty. Only four others were there at lunch. It is an open floor plan with room between tables. It has a Western motif. I believe a piano man performs nightly. Parking was ample. Informal dress code. I wasn't sure if it would be have "airs". It doesn't. It isn't STK, but, it isn't Texas Roadhouse either. If that is the scale from one to ten, then it is like a seven on the fancy meter. If they lose things like the Hunter Sauce and used fancier salad greens, it would make them more "respectable". However, I'm sure their target market would rather not see that. I enjoyed what it offers and loved the value. Let's see that more than the average viewership of this blog is seated by the time I return.

Shaka Donuts, SoDo - Moved to Curry Ford Rd

I tried this debut donut shop on Michigan, one block east of Orange, yesterday in the morning. They opened on January 1. Although it sounds Polynesian, it is a CF ideation. I had a Samoa (Caramel icing with toasted coconut and chocolate drizzle) and a Black Sand Beach (Oreo Cookie "sand" on vanilla icing). Both cost $1.65. Bargains! They serve a "cake" (unleavened) donut underneath. The fluffy kind is in the works. They spit them out of a machine into oil before your very eyes. This means they are super fresh. And warm and soft. They also "top" them to order. This slows things down. The work space and work force may be too small if they blow up. Worth it though. Maybe they can redesign? They have a host of "fun" donuts. Six icings (chocolate, vanilla, caramel, cream cheese and two others I'm flaking on). They also top with peanut butter and cinnamon. They all have nick names. There is a Buddy Dyer. I stayed away because I thought it would be slimy and/or have pock marks in the dough. Maybe a trendy gray sand coating. Toppings are things like Reese's Pieces and Fruity Peebles. They also have breakfast sandwiches and coffee. A soda was only $2. The place is small. Modern. It was full. I checked in because traffic on I4 scuttled plans to go further west. I'm glad the Ultimate Lifetime Employment Project did it's thing and rerouted me here. It will be the first to be on the 2020 Favorites List. What was that thing Ali G used to say? Shak-shimas? Anyway. Shaka Khan (I know that's a mis-spell). Shaka Zulu. And shaka your ass over here for same damn fine donuts. I Just Can't Shaka My Love.

2019 Favorites List and Travel Notes Index

This list looks like my music download folder for the year. A small collection of "reaches". It is utterly confounding how we live in an era with access to anything and time for everything and it all devolves into the utterly banal.. And that is sugar coating it. Where are the true artists and thinkers of our time?

$$$$ - H Steakhouse, Itta Bena

$$$ - Local Pearl Oyster House (New Smyrna Beach), Tori Tori, Mia's Italian Kitchen, The Old Jailhouse (Sanford)

$$ - Prima Pizza Cucina (New Smyrna Beach), Saporito (Ocoee), F&D Italian Kitchen

$ - Art's Sandwich Shop, Burger Barn, Earth Fare, BTW (Tavares), Boulay, Midici

Travel Notes Index

April 3 - NM

April 8 - MN

May 17 - Korea/Taiwan/Japan

June 20 - England

August 12 - England/France/Spain

August 28 - Macedonia/Serbia/NYC

September 27 - Greece/Romania/Cyprus

October 23 - WI/OH/IN/MN

November 21 - Italy/Switzerland/Malta

December 20 - Canary Islands

Broken Spoon, Lake Mary - Closed

I ate at this new (one month) restaurant in the Winn Dixie shopping center off Lake Mary Blvd at lunch on Monday. It replaces the failed Rossellini's. They seem to be in for the same fate. First off, the menu is all over the place and priced too high for the experience. Secondly, the food took too long to deliver and I believe they used a microwave for at least a portion of its preparation. Thirdly, they did nothing to the décor. Fourthly, they are doing no marketing. Fifthly, they are hidden in the rear of an unpopular shopping center. Sixthly, they don't seem to sweat the small stuff. I'll expound. The owner is Loatian. A corporate caterer. First restaurant. He tosses in a few Loatian dishes like larb (and Chinese bao) onto a mostly American motif. While I embrace the chance to "explore", I am not middle America. This will confuse most John's and Joan's and make them question the cooks ability to make good on the hometown cuisine. Plus the dishes (these plus all of the rest) are too expensive. Sticky Rice (and it is way more hip than this place) has larb at under $5. Baos should cost a buck or two. Everything on this menu is in double digits. Even the lunch specials are in the teens. And you can't even get a soda with them. Only iced tea. A lot of entrée level meals are around twenty bucks (or higher). They also mis-price some usually pricy dishes like osso buco on the low side. Osso buco? You say. Yeah! This menu is all over the place. They have things like burgers ($15 ouch), chicken and waffles ($18), sandwiches, salads, soup and I think steak. It's like a café or diner ensemble. I had a sausage and sliced steak sandwich for $13. It came with french fries. While I found the sandwich tasty, there were a few issues. The tips of the sausage were dry and hard spongy. That usually indicates some nuclear interference. And the bun was chewy and flaking apart. More microwave (and age) evidence. Maybe they just did it to warm it or melt the cheese on top. However, that leads me to the timing issue. I believe they aren't ready for prime time and I was waiting on the oil to heat up to cook the fries. If that wasn't the case, then god help them because there was only one other diner there competing for their attention and she ordered a salad. And back to the bread. It was cheap shit in a plastic bag, sold by the dozen like hot dog buns from a mass producer kind of way. You know how I know. It had those little balls on the bottom that only the worst machine made baked goods have. I mean, come on. At least source what the supermarkets make. Daily! There is a Winn Dixie next door. I'm not asking for artisan crafted bs. Back to the meal. The sandwich came with grilled peppers and grilled onions and provolone. It was tasty. The beef was pretty tender. The sausage was ok (probably mass produced). The fries were a bit above average. They seemed to have a garlic element to them. Almost too starchy. Plating was basic. Napkins were cloth. That's the priority? I'd rethink that bit of style over substance.

As I said, the décor is the same. Drab. Old. It isn't making the impression you want to justify the pricing. The view of the golf course is good, but, not Instagram worthy. Let me give you a history lesson. Tthis place was only considered higher end when there was no competition in town and even then the people who went there didn't really know what high end was anyway. People from lower middle class neighborhoods outside of northern manufacturing centers who got transferred down here by corporations chasing cheap land, labor and taxes. For them, the spot was as good or better than any pre-foody steak house or mafia style Americanized Northern Italian trattoria was number one in their community. Plus this place was within sniffing distance of a country club. The kind they were prohibited from joining back home. But, I'm talking thirty years ago. The choices have exploded. Expectations have risen. And this spot really hasn't been upgraded since. I'll even bet they did nothing to the useless ac system. Just wait until the summer sun comes through those bay windows. The few changes they made seem to be focused on the tables. They added high tops that are set in between the low tops. This gives the space some variation. I believe the tables are different too. Not quite as cheap as their predecessors. The two waitresses were sweet and attentive. They were also a bit more of what you would expect at a diner or café. Another mismatch. I'm not saying I had any issue with it. But, many people judge on appearances. And that leads me back to my prediction.

 I believe this place is run on a shoestring. And while that can limit your losses, it also can limit your prospects and why I'm not in the restaurant business. I'm all for word of mouth or guerilla marketing, but, what is the hook? Price? No. Performance? No. Difference? No. Style? No. Location? No. Speed? No. There is nothing for word of mouth to mouth. It's just an overpriced, mish mosh of mediocrely prepared, poorly sourced, garden variety food items served in a hard to find, drab, empty, failed location. I hate to be a wet blanket, but, I strongly suggest you abandon any pretention of earning a Michelin star and halve the pricing, send out some two for one mailers and take on Bob Evan's. Either that or open up your wallet and start over. The people before you tried to ignite the Luigino's "magic" (price points) with seafood and Italian (not sure if there were more). They couldn't and I'll tell you why.

There are already too many places in that high price/high quality (if they ever really had that level of quality) quadrant. It started with Stonewood across the street. They became the "fancy" place. Decades ago. That is the comp. Make a visit and compare yourself. You aren't at that level (which isn't that outstanding anyway). And no one wants to be in the high price/low quality quadrant. Which is where people might put you now. The only quadrant you could conceivably survive in would be the low price/high quality quadrant. This is the least desirable from a providers point of you, but, the market you chose and the location you chose has sealed your fate. It's this or nothing. You can't do low quality/low price because many franchises and global chains dominate that quadrant and would out market you. Now do you have the sense to accept it. And for god's sake, post your god damn hours on the door and change out the Rossellini's sign on the shopping center marquee and hire some jack ass to wander around the parking lot pretending they just ate at your place and tell people how great it was. I'll be back to try some of the odd ball items, but, I wouldn't count on me to balance the books. Good luck.

St John's River Steakhouse and Seafood, Sanford *Canary Islands Travel Notes

I had lunch at this four year old restaurant (that has seen many masters) on Lake Monroe (on that island in town) on Tuesday. I've been here many times before and I swear I've even eaten here before. But thanks to the terrible search capabilities of this Google owned blogging application, I can't find any evidence of a review. Thankfully, the experience wasn't bad (if it was a redo). I had a soft shell crab sandwich for $12. Fries were a buck more. This was around the median price range. It was way better than I anticipated. The crab was a bit fishy tasting. I was expecting frozen anyway. However, the excellent corn meal crust and proper cooking time made up for that. The glossy bun was also a bit more than ordinary. The veg weren't terribly unfresh. The spicy remoulade wasn't exactly original. but, it always adds something. The fries were real show stoppers. I think they call them (not on the menu description) "curls" or "scoops". They were like a section of a curly fry. But big like a wedge. Something this thick is usually miscooked. These were not. And even had some crunch to the exterior. I ordered this because I was getting a vibe (from the ram shackle interior and magic markered out items on the menu) that this wasn't a serious dining establishment. I think I was wrong. I think you can venture out into the more expensive parts of the menu. They have things like shrimp and grits, fish and chips, burgers, steak, seafood, etc. Platters and sandwiches. The interior is mostly wood. They have the screened in patio (like all the others had). Most tables have lake views (for one half of the table). They have a bar. I know they have live music sometimes at night. Service was very attentive and personable. Demands were anticipated. It's a taste of Florida type joint with better food. Tourists (especially) should like the experience. Soda was near the danger zone. $2.90.

*I noticed that a new food hall is going up on 1st St (I think that is the main one into town). It was called Henry's Depot, I believe. A bar in back had opened a week ago (night) and four of five stalls were being built. A Mexican, Some Guy's Sandwiches, Pizza Oven and some other things. And the F&D Italian sign was down and no F&D visible. I wonder if they chickened out. Hollerbach's extension is complete. An old age home is going up next to St John's River restaurant. I thought it was a hotel. They are building some more buildings around Fuel. I used the roll they gave me for a smoked chicken order the next day on my tuna fish sandwich. The smoke it absorbed worked well with the tuna fish. I also add hot sauce to my tuna. That may be a necessary element for the smoke to work. I'm not sure if I've seen smoked bread out there.

**Travel Notes - Canary Islands (and Spain since they own it): BK has a double cheeseburger with three slices of cheese and a cheese dipping sauce. Why don't all places have a cheese dipping sauce? I'll trade you Sweet and Sour. McD's had little fried chicken balls called McBites. Way cheaper than nuggets. 20 were 2E. And an Alfredo Truffle Sauced Burger. A place called Ballshakes had a mason jar milkshake that they crowned with a jelly or cream donut (straw through the hole). I had a pork cheek muffin. It was a crown/base of fried phyllo with pulled pork cheek and jam in side. Made me thing of many savory things we could start putting in a real muffin. I also saw a salmon and almond sandwich in the airport in Barcelona. It was in a wrapper, so, I'm not sure how they did it.

Grub Crawl - International Drive: Hi-5 Poke, Spicy Girl and The Mexican Camel

I tried these places in a strip mall at Kirkman and International Drive two Thursdays ago. I ordered these items to go. The first two are in the same location. The third is next door.

Hi-5 Poke and Sushi - They had a larger menu, but, they told me they are just doing poke ($12) going forward. I had tuna nachos for $8. The tuna was surprisingly fresh. I forget how long they have been operating. I think under a year. The place is Hawaiian themed. Looks sloppy. Partly because they are running a Szechaun restaurant out of here as well. I hope I'm not outing them by telling you about it. You would think that violates their franchise agreement or lease.

Spicy Girl - This would be the draw (if there is one). They have all kinds of crazy dishes here. Lungs, lips, claws, feet, jaw, chin, gizzard, neck, ear, stomach, liver, intestines, wings, etc. I was taking a flight the next day, so I wussed out and ordered spicy beef noodles. They were good. The beef was very tender. And I'm not sure how to describe the noodles. They were very overcooked. I think that might have been partially my fault leaving them in the "sauce" all day. They were very spicy and a bit oily. I only ate around a quarter of them. Not sure if they or the next place's meal gave me the intestinal discomfort that I luckily got rid of in a unfortunate bath room stall before the longer leg of my plane journey. I may go back to try some of those oddities. They had some normal stuff as well. Their English wasn't great.

Mexican Camel - This was a disappointment. And it is a shame because the manager was very generous. He gave me free baklava and a drink (homemade lemonade with some flavoring I forget). The baklava tasted like olive oil. Hopefully, that is not why it was free. The place is just a "Subway" that does Med and Mex. Not an interesting fusion. You can "cross pollinate" your dish, but, that isn't very inventive. You chose the container (bowl, pita, tortilla) and the main (lamb, chicken, etc) and then add sauces and toppings. I had lamb in a pita. The lamb was just meatballs off a skewer. They were poorly made and crumbled. I screwed up the toppings with harissa (very hot) and tahini (bland) and pickled onions and turnips and tomato and pickles. It was too bitter and something gave me record setting gas. I mean it reminded me of the throw up scene with Lard Ass in Stand By Me or the one in Team America. Except this was air (oddly odorless) and it came out of the out door not the in door. And not just a single tuba solo.. The last time I had these symptoms was when I ate at that Med place on 436 (Gyro something). So, I think it's something wit that kind of food. Pickling? Root veg? This is a one off that looks like a chain. I think they are six months old. This is case where one plus one doesn't equal three. Or even two. If you want Mex go to a place that does that. if you want Med, same advice.

Burger Barn, Sea World Area

I tried this burger joint in a strip mall south of the Central Florida Parkway on International Dr today at lunch. It is near a La Quinta close to Westwood. I had the Southwest burger for $8. While this and a soda and tax ran over $11, it was a good burger. Thin. Nice crust. Well cooked. Good beef. Bibb lettuce leaf, raw white onion, tomato, artisan-ish pickle chips, spicy Thai mustard, pepper jack, guacamole, bacon and sweet bun. The mustard isn't with keeping the theme, but, it was good. I also learned a new fact. Guac on pickle chips is kind of good. The bacon was a bit tough. Crisp. Probably sitting out longer than is good for it. They also are not retards. Placing every condiment and topping on the top of the patty. They put some underneath. Shockingly, the toppings slide around less. Take note very other burger moron in history who has never observed this burger fail. They have six or so specialty burgers (ie mac and cheese cheeseburger) at this price point. I think a basic hamburger was $5.50 and a cheese was a buck more. They also had wings and fries. Fries were around $3.50. Maybe ice cream and chicken sandwiches? They also had cheese fries. Not a big menu. They have been open for 10 months. From Jacksonville. In a mall. Only this location and that. The place is painted black and some kind of red that I think I heard once was called burnt umber. Two decorative barn type doors on one wall. Glass on the front and side. Longish floor plan. Very basic and open. Not much spent on construction. Still looks unfinished. A fence from the entrance to the counter. Serve yourself. Seats around seventy. Around ten people there at 12pm. Not stupendous enough for a destination drive, but, good if you are staying near Sea World or in the area. Much better than 5 Guys. Why the want their one tv to be on a political channel is beyond me.

Grub Crawl - New Smyrna Beach: Jason's Corner, The Local Pearl Oyster Shoppe (Closed) and Prima Pizza Cucina

I tried all these places on Friday during the day. First one right off. Then the beach. Then back for lunch. They are all in the "town" near the corner of Sams Ave and Canal St. Almost by the "ruins". I should mention that this is a great time to visit. No rain. Good temps.

Jason's Corner - They told me this place was a soda jerk (is that what they called it in the 50's?). It's been this place for twelve years. They serve all three meals. I was there for breakfast. I had a two egg plate with sausage and hash browns and toast for $7. It was well prepared. Perfect over easy eggs. Non oily hash browns. Dry (as requested) rye toast. Decent links. Service was fine. The place is nicer looking than the last breakfast place I tried. Big ceilings. Patio. Booths and tables. Period posters of California piers. It seats around seventy all together. It was popular, but, I didn't have to wait. The breakfast and lunch menu is what you'd expect. Good pricing. Almost everything a single digit expense. The dinner menu was surprising. They had some higher end stuff like filet mignon in the low twenties. They also had an ok wine menu that seemed to only be 2X retail and topped out at twenty a bottle. It's right on the corner. It was better than I expected. Good value. The also had a takeout window on Sams Ave.

The Local Pearl Oyster Shoppe - This is why I came back so quickly. I saw it last week and it intrigued me. I wasn't misled. This (and the next place) is as good or better than anything we have in the magic kingdom. It's small. Two tables outside. A six person counter. And a few tables inside. It's only open for lunch (11-3) on Friday and Saturday and a brunch on Sunday. Dinner the rest of the time (minus off days - if there are any). The place is mostly white tile. A big, weathered mirror behind the raw bar. Very authentic, clean and vibrant. Their oyster selection (mostly locale) was well sourced. I usually only get giddy over cold weather oysters, but, they made me reassess my beliefs. I tried 5 (I don't feel like listing them all) Florida grown and one Virginian. Their whole selection. All were fresh and beautiful and tasty. They have a three oyster minimum, but, they let me try one of all five (I doubled up the Iroc) . And at under two bucks a piece, it was a steal. The grand total was $12. I also tried their Ahi nachos to see if they skrimped on the tuna. Nope. Good quality. Fresh. Decent allotment. Also came with chips, a little guac and a mayo sauce that could benefit from a smaller nozzle on the dispensing bottle. That cost $9. They also sell (this is from the to do menu and it seems different from the menu I saw - maybe a lunch dinner thing): tater tots and caviar, anchovies, ceviche, cooked oysters, mussels, clams, lobster hush puppies, calamari, grits, ahi burger, po boy, fish tacos, lobster roll, linguini and clams and other things. Things like the calamari had a twist - Ritz cracker coating. Brunch had some cool things like shrimp and grits. They said they try and get whatever is in season. They also sell wine and beer. I think cocktails too. I believe they said the owner is the guy behind the old Spanish River whatever it was called. It was a renowned place, so, I'm not surprised this place is great. Open less than six months. Service was great. Especially the skilled shucker.

Prima Pizza Cucina - I didn't even see this place last week. It is on Sams Ave (side of Jason's). The owner said he was from South Florida and this was NY style pizza (parents home). I'm from NY and this is not NY pizza. It's way better. Artisan all the way. Thin. Huge. Small crust. No air bubbles. Unreal coverage. Great ingredients. Interesting combinations. Charred bottom. And it looked like they did all this in a regular pizza oven. No coal or wood fire. I had the large Bee Line for $19. It seemed a little pricey until I saw the coverage. Wall to wall soppressata and chiles. A neutral garlic tomato sauce. Decent cheese. Calabrian chiles. Hot honey. Basil. I did it mostly to try the honey. There were so many hot elements that I couldn't really pick out the hot honey on its own. It came off as sweet. And that was better (believe it or not) when the pizza was cold. Same with the soppressata. It was firmer when eaten cold. I had a few heated slices on Friday night and the rest (cold) on Saturday for dinner as Auburn dispatched Alabama (Goal Wide). Delish with a nice Malbec. And (wonder of wonders) it didn't clog up my bowels for a week. They have eighteen pie suggestions. A small (still big) Margherita costs $15. A $21 large white clam pie was the most expensive. You can create your own small pie for $10. They also sell be the slice until 3pm. Didn't get the cost. Calzone is $12. Stromboli is $15. Sausage roll is $14. They also do nine small plates (garlic knots to baked sausage rigatoni), six salads and six sandwiches (Italian beef to meatball parm). Thirteen was the ceiling on all of those. Single digits for some. A customer at the counter gave me a garlic knot. It was good too. The ladies to my right had the meatball app and an arugula and prosciutto pizza. Both looked great. A garden of arugula. The place looks cool. Monochrome. Kind of small and rectangular. Most seats are down the "hall" at the counter. Two tables up front. Two patio tables. Kitchen on other side of the counter. One waitress. One cook. Place seems small enough to be handled by them. I didn't wait long. A really pleasant surprise. Open for one year.

*There was a place down the street called something like Rickey's Canteen. It was a poke place. It closed. There is also a NSB Brewery on Canal and a Thai place that never seems to be open. On US 1 I passed a new taco and chicken place. Down Business 44 I spied another breakfast spot (Auntie something) and a Gator's. A surfy place I tried just across the drawbridge (towards the beach area) closed. A pizza place and bagel place opened on the main bridge road near that Garlic restaurant. Not sure if I'm heading back this way for a while. This update will have to sustain you.

Manny's Original Chophouse, Altamonte Springs - Closed

I tried this chophouse near the intersection of 434 and 436 at dinner (no lunch service) eight days ago. It has a chain feel, yet, I believe there was only on other down in the tourist district that has recently closed. I'm not sure how long this one has been here. I had a 9 ounce center cut for $16. It came with rolls, salad and a side (baked potato). It has been a while (and I haven't returned to any of those establishments) since I've eaten at a Longhorn's or Texas Roadhouse level restaurant, so, I'm not sure if this is any better or worse. I made the mistake of ordering the beef medium rare. It took thirty plus (I counted - many times) chews to make the bite swallowable. The top "skin" also seemed crumbly. This was the one section that was "cooked". It was disturbingly crumbly though. Maybe over marinated or just bad quality. The steak didn't appear odd. They claimed to age it. Maybe that is code for "field aged". I'm not sure how these inexpensive cuts are sourced. Milk cows? Old cows? Not cows? I would just recommend you order the meat well done. I didn't try the rolls. The salad came in a big bowl (two portions worth) and they tossed it at the table. The potato was good. I'm at a loss on how to rate this place. The steak wasn't good, but, it was cheap. and they cooked it as requested. The sides were fine. Some value here. Service was good. The place looks like a 50's themed place. Fake road signs, street signs, license plates, etc. Lights made out of mufflers. Everything a reproduction (like the steak). They offer a variety of foods (even fajitas and nachos). For people on a budget, this may be a fun night out. The crowd seemed to confirm that. I thought it would be a higher end place (like Vito's) since they only do dinner. I was wrong. It probably seats around ninety. High ceilings. Not claustrophobic. East parking.

Grub Crawl - New Smyrna Beach: Donnie's Donuts, Ruthy's Kozy Kitchen and Cork Screw

I tried these places last Saturday. The first two are on West Canal ST (44 Business) and the last is in town on Canal St. You get to 44 Business by making a left after the Burger King. Before the bridge.

Donnie's Donuts - This place was a fried chicken place only a year ago. Now they (different people) sell home made donuts and beverages. They have a Food Network sign up front. They said the owner was a judge on a food truck show. I bought an apple cider cinnamon and a chocolate cinnamon. They cost just under $2 each. They were fine. Apple better than chocolate. I don't love these old fashioned, cake-y donuts. I like the airier kind better. They have this level of donut and a kicked up level (ie toppings). They are open Wednesday through Sunday.

Ruthy's Kozy Kitchen - They are a bit closer to town (the train tracks). They have been there for thirteen years. I only noticed them two years ago when they updated their signage. I had the Greek eggs benedict for $9. It was fine. Feta crumbles over too much Hollandaise and eggs on Canadian Bacon and tomato and spinach. No muffin. Home fries. Everything here is under two digits. I believe they close at 2pm. They had a really cheap early morning breakfast at under $2. It was full. They had breakfast and lunch items and special. It seats about eighty. The color scheme was teal, white and gray. Red table tops. Service was good. They take cards. A fine diner type spot.

Cork Screw Bar and Grille- This is about half way in town. It was a post office. It's been this for five years. American cuisine. Lots of red brick. A brick half wall separates the main room into a bar area and a main area. Lots of patio tables. Seats around fifty inside and forty outside. Lots of bric a brac inside. Long bar. sports on the tv. It was full at 2pm. Open for dinner too. I had a gator and sausage po boy for $14. It was very good. Too good. I think they subbed in pork shoulder for gator. If not, it was really seasoned well and tender. The sausage was good as well. Lots of both meats. The bun was glossy and appropriate for a po boy. Fresh too. The lettuce and tomato were also fresh. I usually find po boys more fun to order than to eat. They usually are just bad heros. This was what a po boy is meant to be. The menu was pretty large. Some surprises. I wish I could remember some of them. They had they usual subjects like burgers and fish too. This place seemed to be the most hoighty of the dining options. It was more accessible than I anticipated. Not bad at all. I'd go back. In fact, the only thing preventing it may be the multiplicity of options I've been discovering in town. I'll tell you about three more in two posts from now (I went to them today).

*I read an article on a Turkish chili pepper called Urfa.  It's smoke-y and raisin-y and all the rage.

Bungalow Retreat, Lake Mary - Closed *IT/SWI/Malta

I tried this eclectic spot in the strip mall on International Parkway closest to the Verizon offices on Wednesday at lunch. It has been open for eleven months. I had Ropa Vieja tacos (3) for $13. The meat wasn't like any ropa vieja I have ever been served. That dish is usually stringy. This was more like bits of meat. The flavoring was off too. And it is kind of a stretch to shoe horn this recipe into a taco. They tried to play up the Cuban element by adding little servings of yellow rice and beans. But, the beans were Mexican style and they also submitted to the taco demands by serving sour cream with it. It was all pretty savory (one note). They tried to mix it up with some mild salsa. It needed something hotter. Especially if you added the sour cream. The tacos could be flour or corn. And as I've regurgitated before, Mexicans only eat corn tortillas with their tacos. Which is a long way to tell you, I chose corn. They were coaster sized. They serve these tacos in an "accordion" mold. Not much finesse in the plating. Tacos take up a quarter of the lunch menu. They also serve five versions of mac and cheese (as a main), ten or so burgers and some soups and salads. Not too ambitious. Or cheap. The cheapest burger was $13. Up to near $20. Tacos were all double digits. Even the macs were double digits. The dinner menu added a few expensive offerings like steak and fish and a lot of common Italian dishes. Like I said, it's a hodge podge. It seats about 40 inside and ten on the patio. A hodge podge here too/ I saw a patio table inside. The decoration is also from the shabby chic thrift store collection. The bar area feels more "usual". But, that makes it feel out of place in this context. And the tvs showing sports adds to the disconnect. The crowd represented the incongruity of the décor. Most of the table sitters were female (a large table of what must be Lake Mary's version of ladies who lunch) and a bar of guys who looked like they just played eighteen. The wait staff of one was obviously not enough for what was a full house. The owner was helping a little, but, they could have used an extra set of hands. However, my service wasn't effected (except for no refill on a soda that was half ice cubes).. The food came out as fast as a scoop of meat tossed into a shell should. It wasn't an unpleasant experience, but, it wasn't memorable either. The capacity crowd begged to differ. It seems to be in harmony with the tastes of the area. And staying in business is a precept that many restauranteurs seems to forget. I didn't check if they had TP for their Bung-holi-low.

*Travel Notes - Italy/Switzerland/Malta:

Italy: Turin - shrimp tartare (only saw this on a menu), salsiccia di bra (a raw veal sausage), cacao e pepe inside a fried pastry shell, Penguin (a chocolate covered vanilla ice cream pop), grilled eggplant and brie sandwich.

Milan - Cheese flowing over the pizza crust like icing, bread dough laced up with string so when it baked it looked like a pumpkin or other gourd, scamorza cheese, scamorza and zucchini pizza (served by the gram). I had focaccia too, but, you've heard of that. That and panini and pizza and cured meats get tiresome sooner than you'd expect.

Naples - Il cuoppo (a paper cone that they fill with almost anything to go), fried pizza, sfogliatalab (thin strings of pastry wound around an object (usually ricotta in the past but now anything goes) and fried.

Rome - Deer salami (in a great sandwich with caciottina cheese, pecorino cheese and fresh raw mushrooms served at Lost Food Factory near the Pantheon for 6E), Toma Maccagno cheese.

Switzerland: Lausanne - Pato soleil bread, Tomme de Savoie cheese (Fr), Gruyere, steak tartare at the Coop supermarket (and it was better than 95% of the ones I've had), mango and paprika potato chips, pretzel shaped donut, Cannibis Iced Tea, Camembert Bites at BK.

Malta: Black ink arancini, pesto flavored potato chips (actually English brand), rabbit liver (and rabbit in general) with tagliatelle, black ink ravioli, chicken and cous cous wrap with sweet chili sauce.

I also loved a clothing store (big one near il duomo called Mooseknuckles. In English. And yes they were racing semi trucks like we race pick ups at some Nascar events. Wild.

And I know some loyal readers are juicing my page views whenever I bitch about them. Thanks. I will suspend disbelief.

Grub Crawl - International Drive: Garden Bistro and Sodie Doces

I tried these places Wednesday at lunch. If we break down I Drive into thirds with the middle being between Universal Blvd and Sand Lake Blvd, the first place is on South I Drive after the Ferris wheel near Mia's and the second is in the strip mall at North I Drive on Universal.

Garden Bistro at Castle Hotel - This was to be a review of their Antler Lodge. It isn't open at lunch. They said the menu is the same as the Bistro's. Plus it was just a tiny, unimpressive bar/lounge area anyway. So, I ate here. The bistro was by the pool. It was a hotel restaurant. Pricy and boring. I had a bacon cheese burger because I was told (on my way in) it had won awards and nothing else beckoned me. It was actually pretty good. One point of confusion was the cheddar cheese. The just laid a slice of it (raw) over the bacon. I'm not sure if that was their intent or a miscue. The burger was pretty large and cooked to my absent minded request of medium. The bacon was thick, but, seemed kind of chewy. Like it had been laying around. The lettuce and tomato were fairly fresh. The Russian dressing was ok. The bun was large. Brioche. I didn't love the butter/grease treatment they gave it. A bit rancid tasting. It came on a bread board. With a basket of fries. They were plentiful and fried well. Warm too. They also served the burger with tiny bottles of ketchup, mayo and mustard. It almost justified the $17 price tag. The waiter was also a maniac on the refills. So, that evened out the value proposition ($3 soda). The rest of the menu was close to $30 for things like pasta or $9 minestrone. I saw both and was not impressed. I believe this ownership (Marriott) of the hotel began three years ago. I can't tell you to seek this out, but, if you are staying here then this is an option. They do their breakfast service here too. Unclear if it is open for dinner.

Sodie Doces - Not sure what it means, but, they have 300 cake shop locations (largest) in Brazil. This one just opened a month ago. It's in the rear corner of that strip mall. Next to where that nightclub was. Kind of hidden. It has a clean look. The cake cases greet you as you enter. Two dozen chocolate varieties and sixteen or so vanilla and seven sugar free and four "homemade" and four "American favorites". Plus a host of little pastries. You buy the cakes whole or by the gram. I had two milk chocolate  walnut bom boms at $3 a piece. They were terrific. Like walnut marzipan. I thought it would be éclair like. This was way better.

And that is all I have to say about that because only four of you read the last post. And you will have to wait to read about all the strange things I tried on my latest trip for the same reason. And I saw semi-truck (Nascar like) racing. Wild.

Nic & Luc Scratch Kitchen, Longwood - Moved to PNC Bank Building DT

I tried this brunchy type place in a perpetually under tenanted strip mall near the intersection of 17-92 and 434 (across from an Indian Spice store) yesterday at breakfast. I'm on European time. I had a mushroom and provolone omelet for $9. It came with two strips of sourdough, a portion of their home made jam and a teeny salad/ It was fine. They used two colors of carrot in the salad. The jam was good. The omelet wasn't life changing. I had higher hopes. It didn't help that I entered in on a conversation about cooking at the James Beard house. I was expecting magic.

They had a limited breakfast selection. Maybe ten things. Nothing out of the ordinary. some egg combos and toasts for example. I was more interested in the lunch menu (shrimp or chicken salad), but, they won't serve that before 11am. That lunch menu is also limited to around ten things. There was nothing wrong with the experience and the owner was seemed to have high end experience, but. I'm not sure how or why it rated one of the review slots for the Orlando Weekly. They did, however, pop in and give it a thumbs up a few months ago. The place opened in August.

The owner was at the register. One cook. No wait staff. They close at 2pm. I think the Weekly article said they were closed on the weekends. The owner spoke as if that is not the case now or never was. The place has around seven tables of four. Modern. White and light blue color scheme. Open kitchen. Big window in front. Lots of light. Lots of elbow room. You order at the counter. I was the only customer. The owner is from New Orleans via Miami. He seemed to be a vet as I mentioned. Luc and Nic are his kids. They just moved here. Parking is no problem. Give it a shot. You won't have to wait in line. I'll go back soon and try the lunch menu. And their jars of jam are a unique feature.

Grub Crawl - Downtown: Kaizen, Jam-Eng, Loading Zone and Olives

I tried these places downtown today at lunch time. I've been waiting for the wather to improve and to save enough change for the meter.

Kaizen - I tried this izakaya that replaced (but I think is still associated with) Amura on Church St at the parking lot exit near the tracks at lunch. It is basically Amura with some trendy non-Japanese apps. I had the gyoza for $6 and the lunch sushi assortment for $12. The "new" items were mostly ho-hum and overpriced. I decided to cut my loses. The gyoza seemed to be the ones you can be pre-made at an Asian supermarket. Nothing like Tori Tori's. They actually are doing what this place proposes to do. I ordered these with the intent of comparing them with Tori Tori. The sushi was Amura-like. The rice wasn't properly crafted (sticky and mealy). The fish was ok. They served a sea bream called madai (possibly on the menu as nadai) and what they said was in the yellowtail family and called sumaji. It wasn't listed on the menu, so, I duckduckgo-ed it (because google shadow bans this site and spies on you) and couldn't find a result based on my pigeon English spelling of the fish. I did see that Florida State is considering it for a basketball scholarship however. The dish was a piece of the two discussed fish plus a salmon and a yellowtail and a tuna. The yt and tuna were actually very fresh. As were the first two. The California roll was supermarket bland. Like I said, the menu is now "expanded" to have Korean (why not call it Japanese?) Fried Chicken, an elote corn rip off, pork bao, fried rice an some other" traditional" Japanese izakaya fare. They have a 11 or 12 piece sushi offering at $35. Just go for the $60 sham (or the +$150) like they do at Kabooki at Turkey Lake or Kadence if you are going to try at "up scale" it. They also do ramen, katsu, donburi, teriyaki and some other traditional hot dishes. Some are on the lunch menu. At $12+ for a meal. I'm not sure if they redid the interior. It has been a while since I have been there. If they did, they should be embarrassed. It's dark, dingy and uninspired. Abused. There are wires protruding from the wall. A computer terminal looked like a baby was allowed to suck on the screen. And I saw that from across the room. No natural light. Little artificial light. The floors are tacky (not in a lack of sophistication kind of way but in a sticky and coated kind of way). Service was a bit out of sync. Up your ass when you wanted time and nowhere to be found when you wanted to be. No soda refill. So $3 for a half a glass of ice and four fingers of sugar water. I felt it was going to be ham fisted attempt at being au courant and it was.

Jam-Eng - Here is another place I haven't really been excited to try. I just did because I had to do as much as possible to justify a trip downtown. It's a six month old Jamaican and English mash up on the corner of Orange and Washington (I think). Diagonal from Elixir in an old bar spot. The front is take out. The interior is sit down. They have the usually Jamaican stuff (jerks, patties, ackee, etc) and some English stuff like Ploughman's sandwich and  maybe Shepard's Pie. The wife is British. I went with a jerk chicken sandwich for $8. It was pieces of drumstick on a sweet roll with lettuce, tomato, shredded cheese, French dressing and a bit of hot sauce. It was remedial. Tough chicken with icky bits still attached. Bland veg. Needless to say, I haven't been impressed by Caribbean fare - ever. At best some meats can be interestingly spiced. But something else usually ruins the experience. Or maybe it's because I forgo the "doochee" before I eat (or ever)? That is a what I think it is, right? They sell some packaged goods that looked interesting (ie Soursop beverage or Kipling's pastries). Mostly a pass though.

Loading Zone Philly Steaks - They replaced Beth's Burger Bar a few weeks ago. It's around the corner from Jam-Eng if you forgot. Cheese steaks and cold sandwiches. I did a regular whiz at $7. It was more of a "cheap-steak". Not much beef. Onion. Whiz. Way too much whiz. Geni's near Lyman high school is better. They are open until 2am. I can't recall how Beth's was set up. The brick walls seemed familiar.

Olives - They are a Greek/Med place below the movie theater. Open for three months. I was intrigued by a baklava cheese cake for $5 passing by. They were out. Took a $3 baklava to go so I could write about them. I will go back in a few months to try a gyro or bowl. The baklava was stale. Stale walnuts. Probably not made in house.

*I saw that a Thai place replaced Artisan's Table (that moved to Church St) on Pine. Name of Muy Thai. A new market is opening near Morgan and Morgan. The California burrito place near Kaizen has failed and is being replaced by Cucina. There is an infamous bar in Palm Beach named that. Some very unscrupulous people have been known to take their shirts off there. It was once Au Bar and was where that Kennedy cousin and Uncle Ted were before the cousin allegedly raped that girl in the Ninties. I wonder if they have started a chain of fast casual places. It had West Palm Beach and Palm Beach Gardens outposts listed below it. The real place is also pretty good Italian restaurant. I wonder if it will be that kind of food. I'll venture down again once all these delights are open If I have enough change. Those meters must really piss off the homeless. I guess the city leaders that installed them (the meters not the homeless) hate the unfortunate.

**I was perusing the Orlando Weekly (two editions actually) while I was at Kaizen. The first was a typically mendacious (this time politically charged) bleat by the Arab guy. How the place he ate at's owner supported Trump and how he overcame the (his own) bigotry (err I mean oppression/shame) and ate there anyway yet still wants protection from any intolerant liberal backlash/criticism so he has to give us his excuse. Stand by your convictions or take the heat for abandoning them. Are we really making food a political issue now, man? Isn't baseball a bridge too far? The second review (actually the issue from the week before) was a very funny take on a vegetarian place. I was like - wow this guy is finally getting it. Nope. It was another reviewer. A female girl. Kudos to you whomever you are. I vote for more of you. I hope you are one of six followers.

Selam, Orlando

I tried this Ethiopian/Eritrean spot on the corner of s strip mall with a Publix on Central Florida Parkway (between John Young and I Drive) at lunch on Wednesday. I guess they eat a little later than us, as I was the only one there at noon. However three other tables were seated as I ate. Let's start with an admission. I know next to nothing about this cuisine and the "next to" is comprised of one meal at Nile around ten years ago. Oddly, I was watching a show that explained the tension between the two bordering countries (once one) just as I read about this place a few months ago in the Weekly. My interest was piqued back then, but, the location pushed it down the list. I can never remember where CFP is. Anyway, onto the food. I ordered Gored Gored beef because it looked the fanciest and not because I'm a Nebraska fan. It was comprised of medium rare cubes of beef (shoulder?) in a brown sauce on a "injera". An injera is a large, purple pancake made out of some glutton free substance that I forget the name of. An article on the window (Sentinel I think) said it should be served warm. This was cold. Now how a little American white girl knows the proper temperature for an injera is a question we all should ponder (I'm guessing a search engine was involved), it does seem probable. I say this because the meat and sauce was served to me cold. And it wasn't appetizing and I hope it isn't customary. I asked if it was supposed to be this way and I didn't really understand the explanation. I posited that maybe Ethiopia is hot and they serve this cool as a result. That hypothesis was shot down, so I dropped the subject. As a result, they did bring out (unsolicited) a small bowl of a chicken dish I considered (they wrote it down as doro tibs but I think it is the next thing I am going to mention) and a bowl of sticky beef bits they wrote down as beef key wet). As I said, I think that's inverted and I don't use search engines (if you couldn't tell), so, it may be a misstatement. The chicken was little cubes in a light, sour sauce with onions and some other veg. It was nice. The beef was little, well done bits of beef in a thick, black, sweetish sauce. It was good too. The problem was that I didn't want to seem rude and leave the "gifts", but, they filled me up. So, I had to ask to get the remainder of my "real" meal to go. It was actually serendipitous. Nuking it for a minute at dinner warmed the sauce and took the sliminess from the beef. It was much better hot and closer to medium rare than rare. The portion was large. It cost $15. The place looks like a bad Mexican place looks. Dingy. Dark. Cheap furniture. Plastic table cloths. They have some decent murals, but, it needs a lot more. It seats about eighty. The layout is also not great. The spacing is out of whack. They have been open for a year. They said six months, but, I saw a Scott Joseph article on them on the window from last October. The Orlando Weekly has also reviewed them. Like they wrote, how often are you going to run across cuisine like this? That's their calling card. I'd try it just as a bucket list item. I'm not sure if I'd go through the bother a second time though. The cuisine was not that "different". Probably if I lived down there though.You eat with your hands. They have vegetarian options. The menu has beef, chicken and lamb. Around twenty dishes. I'm reminded of a bit I heard on sports radio last week. The question was whether you would rather eat soup for every meal or have to eat every meal with your hands. I guess that isn't a conundrum for some. Just remember what they do with their right hand if you are sharing. I meant to ask if the name is a spelling of "salaam". I heard one of the customers greet the owner that way. I guess a search engine could provide closure. I'll leave some mystery to life.

Tori Tori, Mills Ave

I tried this new (one month) Japanese bar/eatery (izakaya-esque) near the corner of 50 and Mills on Tuesday night? I decree that it is the new hot spot in town. It was even full at 9pm on a Tuesday. You order through the bartenders and they give you a number on a stick and the food is delivered to you. You can sit at the central (almost all encompassing) bar or one of the tables or booths on the periphery. I sat at the bar. Service was quick and attentive  The bar side seemed to tilt towards cocktail inanity, but, they had a good selection of whiskey (Japanese et al). The menu is in between snack food and a real menu. I had a salmon "handie" roll for $6, garlic fried rice with blue crab for $8 and pork belly fried gyoza for $6. The roll was ok/ The salmon wasn't clean. It still had sinews attached to the flesh. The owner has tinkered with the roll methodology and places a piece of baking paper in the roll to keep the rice from softening the nori wrapper. I wasn't clear on if this is something he invented on his own or if it is the proper way to do it per the Japanese. I've seem a lot of shows and been to Japan. It's the first I've heard of it. But, who doesn't love a gimmick or this kind of obsessiveness? And the price is on par with most places. They didn't give you soy sauce with it. Whatever sauce they did put on it was imperceptible. As such, it was bland tasting. And his little experiment left you tasting mostly nori. And dry nori ain't so good. Taste wise or texturally. The garlic rice was ok. The rice itself was overcooked, overworked and very garlic-y. It was oily as well. I saw some pieces of real looking crab. It's very dark in there, so, I can't say for certain if they chintz or not. Who knew chintz would pass spellcheck? It was a big portion that they give you a wooden spoon to eat with. The gyoza were the best. And I can't remember having better. Anywhere. The substitution of belly for that ground pork meat you usually get makes all the difference. Plus they were well fried. A bit oily. The bottoms were soft. I think they give you six. They place them on a mayo-y sauce that once again it was too dark to identify. And the price here is also in line with even medium grade Japanese places. The soda I had was a bit weak. They may need to test the tap if it's not a weirdo bitch cola knock off. The rest of the menu (as I recall poorly) was uni and crab and scallop handies (although they were already out of scallop and that can't happen if you only offer four item), some other fried rices, a lot of cool yakitori (like chicken hearts and cartilage) and I just can't recall the rest. Sorry. I just got of a plane after being on the road for two weeks and it was dark and the print on the menu is tiny. The interior reminded me of the bar next to Black Rooster. It's modern. Very square. One level. The outside is painted white. It's very LA. I can't remember the color scheme inside. I remember wood. The ceiling looks like they ran out of money and is exposed framing. The kitchen is open and in the rear. They have a fairly big parking area. The crowd wasn't all Rollins-y. Most of the people looked like they just got off work from other kitchens. It's from the guy who runs Domu, etc. I've been waiting for it for over a year and it met expectations. It will be on the Favorite's List just because it's open until 2am (when most places close at 9pm) and it's cool and they don't gouge you to make you think you are styling. If they tighten up the food execution, it will be a real triumph. Now, if the just did lunch too. Double check the 2am thing. Maybe that was just weekends? However, I think it is till open until midnight at least on weekdays. Not sure what days they close.