Tuesday, July 8, 2014

Grub Crawl - Sanford: Docktails and The Deli

I ate lunch at these two place near I-4 and the St John's River in the Port of Sanford at Boat Tree Marina. I had been to them a while back when they were different entities. Docktails has been three or more things since then.

Docktails - Imagine that you could transport six am at a strip club to noon at low priced condo's pool. This place has everything - single stripper moms, mixed race-fatherless children who can barely swim, meth addicts, hillbillies, muscle heads, pot bellied white guys dancing to Michael Jackson, anorexic and not at all-orexic waitresses in biker shorts... You get the picture. This is everything that is wrong with Spring Break in Daytona with ten to twenty years added to it. The real issue though was the service. You can not have Skinny Pete (Breaking Bad) as the face of your organization. I don't now if he is a relative or a friend who fell (caused himself to fall) on hard times, but, he needs to be washing dishes not serving them. I changed my order just because I thought he'd F with it or he'd get the cooks to F with it. If this what the wait staff looks like, I can't imagine how frightening the line is. SP just had that look. That petulant cowardice of a prison chicken head. That look became even more devilish half way into the meal. Think Jose Guzman or Dane Cook in Waiting. He may just have gotten more stoned in the interim, but, he was nearly giddy when he asked me how I liked my food. He asked so many times that I stopped eating. He may just have been out of his head, but, it set off alarm bells. What I did order was a semi-decent hamburger with a side for $8. They came pretty close to medium rare and the 1/2 lb of meat was pretty good. I wiped the outside and the veg (lettuce was wilted), so, if they got me they would have had to have done something to the meat before cooking. They charge an extra $1 for any topping. The side I chose was cheese grits. I had a small sample off the top just in case they went to town on it. It was pretty good. And that is the shame of it. The whole meal may have been fine, but, that Depression Era train hobo made me very uncomfortable. I can't believe I left him more than a dollar tip. I forgot to add that he was all over me the second I sat down (No I don't know what I want. I am looking at the menu for the first dime, dipshit) and then was no where to be seen when I was ready to order. They (or one of the three previous owners) did a good job making the space more modern. They kept the pool. It seemed clean enough. They had a band playing. I thought it would be more crowded on a July 4th weekend. I guess their type of crowd is just waking up at noon. I didn't like that they charged nearly $3 for a soda. I'll venture that all drinks are overpriced. They had a few "different" items on the menu. It was a fairly typical American selection. I would only go if you think of it as a sociology field trip.

The Deli - This place is across the parking lot from Docktails and I assume it's used mostly by boaters for take out. I had a 1/4 lb CHEESE burger for under $4 and an egg salad sandwich for under $4. That's less than what I paid for one burger at Docktails. The beef was better at Docktails and there was ostensibly twice as much, but, I felt way better about eating the burger cooked here in front of me by two kind looking women. It came with whatever toppings I wanted. They serve a 1/2 lber (two patties) for just over $5. The egg salad was fine. Probably fake eggs. It also came with whatever I wanted. If I went back to this area I would choose the deli every time. Not just because it's half the price. Because of Skinny Pete. Sodas here were 75 cents. They also have breakfasts until 11am. They clain their Philly is the best in town. Alot of marina delis act like places at the airport. They overcharge. This place does not.

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