Grub Crawl - Disney Springs: Wolfgang Puck's Bar & Grill and The Daily Poutine

I tried these two places on Wednesday at lunch.

Wolfgang Puck's Bar & Grill -  It is across from the Guy Fieri chicken place near Planet Hollywood. It opened in November. I tried the chicken schnitzel at $28. It wasn't worth half that. The chicken had a spongy texture. Like a tenderloin. It wasn't pounded thin enough. And I don't like panko. The "deconstructed" accoutrements like tomato and arugula weren't exactingly fresh and the cucumber salad  was just along for the ride. The rest of the lunch menu included some salads and sandwiches and pizzas and pastas and a few mains. The dinner menu substituted a few more pricy mains for the sandwiches. Pricing between the two menus was almost comparable. They discount a dollar or two or something like the dinner sea bass went from "whole" to lord knows what at lunch (probably a half). The pizzas looked good, but, I think a personal started at over $15. As did the sandwiches. The pastas were all mid-twenties. The mains were mostly thirty to fifty. My meal ran to $40 with tax and tip. And I just had a $3.50 (non refilled) soda with my entrée.

The place is divided into three rooms. Each has some exposed cooking area in it. To the left (where they seated me) is the pizza oven area. In the middle is the main kitchen (in the rear). To the right is the dessert station that has an open window to the street and sells gelato. The ceilings must be three stories high. The color scheme is white with black embellishments. Lots of photos of Wolfy and food. Mostly never together. They are trying for California farm house, I think. Wait service was a bit intermittent. I was expecting an overpriced, reductive experience and that's what it was. His schtick was powerful when I was an impressionable kid new to Los Angeles and there wasn't a celebrity chef minted every ten seconds. I even supported his first few attempts to branch out of Beverly Hills. But, he lost me when he lent his name to frozen pizza. He's one of those "name" chefs that license their reputation to anything and everything. I'll bet that is what is happening here. I doubt he even knows it exists. I don't blame him. It probably provides him with a comfortable living. But, it is too much for me. I wouldn't have tried this if it weren't for this blog. I don't try his other "chain" type restaurants or packaged food. He's kind of a punch line for me. Maybe not a punch line, but, I know he's too far removed from his projects to really be relevant to them. As such, I really resent paying designer prices for a off the rack clothing created by subordinates. I'm no label whore! Or am I the "john" since I'm paying? I'd advise you to save your "splurge" money for something more dynamic. Even Art Smith's place at Disney Springs seems a degree closer to the namesake than this.

The Daily Poutine - I had a classic poutine for $10. Fries and gravy and cheese curds. Not bad. The fries were actually crispy. Lots of squeaky curds. Ok gravy. Nice sized portion. It is on the right side if you descend the escalators from the green parking lot. They have two or three other poutines.

*Jaleo doesn't look close to being ready.

La Boucherie, Sand Lake Road Area - Closed

I think it has happened once before. A place that made such a bad first impression that I left before ordering. A place that needs a wake up call. A review that can be written without regard to the food. A place that starts the at bat with three strikes. I should have listened to the Universe. I was distracted on my way in and veered off the Sand Lake exit into the Volcano Bay area and then had to get back on I4 on go to Sea World to get back to Sand Lake. I should have kept going and never turned back. BTW who is the idiot that put no off ramps between Sand Lake and the Beach Line? *This all transpired yesterday at lunch.

The offending behavior(s) is not egregious in retrospect. It's an example that betrays a ethos. The behavior(s) in this case were a visually unappealing host (head to toe tats and a parolee/junky vibe), a petulant Puerto Rican reform school looking waiter and some amusing big timing. Now, I'm not sure if the host meant to give me the worst seat in a nearly unattended restaurant or if he was just a poorly trained numbskull, but, that is what he did. Apparently, my reaction to this insult/stupidity must have displeased the bus boy (err waiter) and his attitude towards me was provoking. Throw in the risk of food retribution from the kitchen and a few more critiques I will expand on and I just had to get out of there or challenge someone to a duel.

The place is a chain. The French "Applebee's'. Plastic menus (with pictures) and all. Sticky, grimy, worn menus. I think they have been open less than six months! The selection is also odd and pricy. The rest of staff is equally "greasy" looking. I didn't see one female employee. It just screamed (insert any of the many ethnic groups this applies to) latently homosexual bohunkery. There were two tables seated at prime lunch hour. A waspy couple and a table of three French men. Hopefully, they were there to report on the franchise and understood what transpired. Then again, they are French and probably found it laudable behavior and acceptable business conduct. And why was Latin music being blasted in a French restaurant?

The place is in an inconvenient strip mall that seems to swallow up enterprises. The traffic alone in the area makes it undesirable. To go here you really have to have a reason. The ambiance surely is not one. They can't act like this. In French "fermez la bouche" means "shut up" or less colloquially "close your mouth". I can only hope the Universe will listen to me when I request that they "fermez la boucherie".

*On top of this, my plan b (Chronic Tacos) was far from ready. I had to go to Disney (as the Universe was leading me) as you will read about shortly.

Coco Thai Cuisine, International Drive

I tried this Thai restaurant over a week ago in the afternoon for take out. It is aside some new hotel construction where Wet N Wild used to be. If I remember correctly, it has been open for around a year and is helmed by a chef from Northern Thailand whom has roamed around the planet in search of his perfect kitchen. So, it's not just Tom Yums, Satays and Curried Chickens and rice. His staff is also a bit representative. I remember some talk of Khmer (Cambodian) employees. I ordered some apps because I want to be more aware of Thai cuisine, but, they (other Thai restaurants) usually offer such a limited and redundant selection that I rarely see anything new. I had a chicken larb (I believe I had that at the Laotian place on 50), nam sod pork and curry puffs. All $6. The larb was minced chicken (also in beef) mixed with ground rice and scallions, cilantro, mint, chili powder and served on raw cabbage leaves. It was good. I love ground meats of any kind. The portion is enough for most people for a meal. The nam sod portion was even bigger. This preparation involved minced pork (also in chicken) with ginger, peanuts (whole), onion, scallions, cilantro, chili powder on raw lettuce leaves. It came with a side sauce. I can't remember if I liked it better than the larb. The curry puffs (5 or 6) were little, fried, empanada looking vessels filled with chicken, sweet potato, curry, cilantro and pepper. I'm pretty sure I've never seen that on a Thai menu. They were easily wolfed down. The rest of the menu has a lot you've seen before. I'll point out a few of the specialties instead. Basil Duck. Three Flavored Fish. Basil Mixed Seafood. Volcano Shrimp. Kung Makham (Tamarind Shrimp). Red Duck Curry. Ginger Striped Bass. These all run in the mid twenties. Most of the rest of the entrees are in line (low teens). The place is one big, white, glass, square room with a bar in the rear and open kitchen on the left. It's a new build out. Hard to say how popular it is. I was there at 2pm and it was predictably empty. It was more than I expected it to be. It's worth a second look. Lots of parking.

H Steakhouse, Dr. Phillips Area

I tried this Turkish steakhouse today at lunch. It's more than a steakhouse and more than Turkish. It is one of the most satisfying encounters I've had (anywhere) in a while. It's definitely going to be on the favorites list and is instantly in my top ten in CF (I haven't had the time to be precise yet). I had two appetizers because they don't really chase a lunch crowd (no lunch menu/pricing) and four of the appetizers seemed so scrumptious. I had the steak tartare with marrow bone (planned on having that) and the sweetbread with tagliatelle flamed in a parmesan cheese wheel. I chose the latter to try the pasta that is offered in two forms as an entrée. They make there own. The tartare cost $18. The quality of the meat was evident. If it was adulterated at all, it had olive oil in it. The real accoutrement was the marrow bone. Split in half and char-grilled, it was the best preparation of marrow I've ever experienced. Gone was the phlegmy (when roasted) like consistency and flavor. In place was unctuousness and umami. It created an interesting flavor profile when added to the raw beef. The hot/cold of the marriage was also interesting (if not symbolic). It came with some thin wafers (not sure if that is their lavash) whose exterior was a bit too gummy to be paired with the gummy tartare. An article I read said they were served sourdough bread with their tartare. I received that with the sweetbread. I'm not sure if they changed the elements or messed up or gave the first party the wrong accompaniment. I'm not sure sour dough would have worked. It did work with the "sauce" left over from the tagliatelle. That surprised me. The one criticism I could make is that maybe they over salted the marrow bone. But, it was good salt. The course was served on a beautifully rustic wood board. Which reminds me. They started me off with another beautiful wood board with grilled bread, Turkish olive oil, home made butter and a diced tomato and cucumber "salsa". All were fresh and tasty. They also do their own breads. The sweetbread was cleaned perfectly. Cooked perfectly as well. It was inventively incorporated into the aforementioned pasta dish. The portion size would be enough for most people as a main. I didn't get the table side cheese wheel flame show, but, I saw it done at an adjacent table a few minutes earlier. The rest of the menu blends steakhouse exuberance with recipes from central Italy and beyond. Apps had grilled octopus and a special kind of shrimp as stand outs. The mains included duck, veal, lamb and seafood with all of the choice cuts of beef (ie Tomahawk). The beef is aged in their own Himalayan salt aging room (visible behind glass). They call out their brand of grill. I haven't heard of  (and can't remember) it. I guess it is top of the line. The wine selection isn't "me too". Around 3X retail. The liquor is select. A little pricey (ie a Reserve Glenfiddich I just bought on sale for $32 at Winn Dixie was $30 a "pour" - granted my "Glen" wasn't the "reserve"). A soda was $3.50. They refilled.

The design is charming. A lot of wood. Darkish hues. Beautiful green fabric on the benches. Open floor plan. Exposed kitchen (in the rear). Small bar area in the left rear corner. Some outside seating. Seats around eighty inside and a dozen outside. The flatware and china were unique and stylish. I would try and hide a few eyesores a bit more, but, it is a well conceived dining area. The bathroom was basic and one person, but, nice..The place has been open for seven months. It is where the old Stephano's Trattoria was (near the Publix at the marketplace on Dr. Phillips off Sand Lake). It's named after the common last initial of the three owners. There were only two other diners and one waiter while I was there. That seems to indicate that lunch hasn't been too successful. I hope that isn't the case overall. They have spent a lot of money and put a lot of thought into this endeavor. Even the cooks have natty uniforms. They have hired talent and the menu is ambitious without being impudent. In a perfect world they would drop the prices across the board a bit (at least for lunch) and for some items in particular (duck and osso bucco). However, I'm willing to live in an imperfect world if it allows me surprises like this. I just suggest a price trim to make sure they don't wallow in obscurity. They don't need to set a price point to denote excellence. They are excellent and as such the can only help their brand by having as many people experience it as possible. The only thing they lack is a stunning locale. If they had that, then maybe they could support their current pricing. That said, I strenuously (like Demi Moore in A Few Good Men) recommend them and Valentine's Day is closing in and they are doing a special service in celebration. I didn't see the menu and hopefully it isn't a disappointment. If so, then shoe horn in some other justification for making a visit. You will say "what the H!"

*I tried a good Thai place (Coco) on I Drive on the way home. You will have to wait until I get back from Tahoe for that review. Also, saw that a Chronic Tacos (awesome San Diego beach area icon) opened on Sand Lake. Hope it's the same people.

Grub Crawl - Lake Mary: Currito and Nothing Bundt Cakes

I went to these two new businesses on International Parkway today at lunch. They are in that new strip mall that I have been reporting on lately.

Currito - I had a regular (that is the largest) classic burrito with chicken for $9. I think Chipotle is overpriced and they toss in a soda at this price. Other places toss in chips. It was a lousy burrito at that. 90% rice. The hot sauce was creamy and I believe it was the source of the off putting dish water flavor. I think there is more chicken in a $1 Taco Bell chicken burrito. It was thigh meat too. The soda ($2) cup was a half sizer. They also do bowls, salads and smoothies. All the things women throw their money away on. I would wager that that is their demographic. 90% of the customers were female (or could have identified as such) or people they seemingly dragged there. I can hardly call this a Mexican place since they serve tikka, buffalo, teriyaki, etc burritos. It's a 21st century trash up. The place is modern and clean. White washed. They have opened just recently. A chain from Ohio. I would never go back. Then again, I doubt they'd want me back. I have a Y chromosome. Now that my currit-osity is satisfied, I find it not be a curr-all. Oh-curr! BTW isn't that what Madea (I've never seen a movie) says? Why does that Mini Minaj a Twat get the credit? Not that there should be any.

Nothing Bundt Cakes - I used a coupon (my revenge for stuffing my mail box with junk mail) on a free cake. Praline pecan. It was fine. Too much icing. I think I already reviewed another location a while ago. They sell individual bundt cakes. They deliver what they promise. I'm sure all the "vegans" calorie counting at Currito will make a pilgrimage over here on their way back to work and then claim "I just look at food and I gain weight!"

*3/4/19 - I went back to Currito with a two for one burrito coupon they sent me and made my own concoction. Both helped the cause. I'll pop in every time they send another "feeler". That makes the transaction less onerous.

Grub Crawl - Thornton Park: Big Time Street Food Co (Closed) and Greenery Creamery

I tried these places on Friday night. The first is next to Burton's on East Washington. The second is below a condo apartment building on East Church. They were described to me as being downtown. They are really in Thornton Park.

Big Time Street Food Co - A nocturnal snack food spot. I grabbed a Holy Fried Chicken Sandwich because I wasn't hungry and the menu was nothing I haven't seen before. The sandwich was very large. Twice as large a Chick Fila. It was made of thigh meat. Some like it better than breast meat. Not I. It always has a weird top layer that you can't bite through. This was a good sandwich though. Nice crust. Pickles and a gochu (spicy) mayo sauce. It cost $8. They have three burgers (from $6-$8). A cheese steak ($10). Cubano ($9). Hot dog ($6). Four wraps ($9-$10). 2 fries ($9-$10). 5 snacks ($7-$10). As you can see, I chose the most fairly priced item. A small bottle of Coke was $3. It's a small place. Some seats at the window. Two man crew. Nothing new going on here. They have been open for seven months. Open from 4 pm until midnight during the week. 2am on Friday. Noon until 2am on Saturday. Noon until 10pm on Sunday. Parking is scarce.

Greenery Creamery - Half the ice cream is vegan (coconut water). Half normal. I had the vanilla with olive oil solo for $4.25. Didn't taste the oil. The ice cream melted into milk. I'm not sure if that is a sign of quality or not. Around twenty flavors. Nothing noteworthy here. Parking is less than scarce. I think they opened this past summer.

*Walking around it seems like the place at the train depot closed. A few places opened across from the courthouse. A coffee place opened at that large building on East Washington near Lake Eola.. A "bar" on the same street on the corner by the band shell. I passed an axe throwing place on Robinson. I think it was called Epic Axe Throwing. It was packed.

Grub/Pub Crawl - College Park and Baldwin Park: Blended Cafe Bar, Digress and Tactical Brewing Company

I tried these places last Saturday Night. The first two are on Edgewater Dr. The last is near the Publix in the heart of that community.

Blended Café Bar - I had a crispy chicken banh mi for $7 because I wasn't very hungry or interested in the finger foods they offer. It was really good. The bun was great. Crisp. The chicken was crisp as well. It came with the usual carrot and radish and cilantro toppings. They also serve teas, bao, rice bowls, egg rolls, noodle bowls and samosas they call "pockets". A few specials as well. They are across from the main condo building off of Princeton. The inside is a big empty, white space with a bar on one side and some seats on the other. A few people were at the bar playing Stratego. Feel free to channel your inner Terry Crews while you are there. That's a movie reference. I think they have been open for six months.

Digress - They are down the street in the old Cavanaugh's space. They were supposed to serve food starting in the Spring. Then the Fall. It seems like that will never transpire. What there will be is the current food truck partnership. And even that is intermittent. They weren't on that night (a Saturday). It's mostly a wine bar. The owner was nice and talkative. He seemed sincerely interested in wine. They are a bit pricy. I believe they have been open for about a year.

Tactical Brewing Company - They have been in a "soft" opening for two months. Still only open on the weekends. I tried an IPA and an Oyster Shell Black Lager. Both were good. They seem to be run by ex-military. Marines I think. It is a smallish square room. It was pretty packed. Mixed crowd. Bartenders were pleasant. Dogs were welcome. Nice scene. They even have some good looking merch.

Hangry Bison, Winter Park

I just got back from this Firefly replacement across from the movie theater. The guy from Pizza Vadiamo (sp?) took over the lease and stripped the pub grub menu to just burgers. Sadly they can't even get that right. They may have served me the worst burger I've ever had. And I eat Krystal burgers. The short rib ground was burnt on the outside and raw in the middle. They dust stormed it in some needless salt and spice rub. Drenched!. The grind was bad. It had cartilage and vein bits galore. The patty was formed in that half hand/half mold compromised way. The meat had no taste. The burgers must be "assembled" on a plastic menu with oil marker. The bun may be pretzel, brioche, lettuce leaf or Texas toast. Four clichés. Four things I hate about "gourmet" burger culture. The meats can be short rib, bison, turkey, salmon, and chicken (?). The cheeses were the usual plus beer cheese (melted nacho cheese sauce). The veg were the usual. And they also force several "glazes" on you. I can't imagine how much worse the burger would have been with any of those. They had ranch dressing as a sauce! Is there any greater sign of gastronomic impotence? In Australia I was trying to explain to a guy how some Americans dip their pizza in ranch dressing. Much to his amusement. This may be as bad. I kind of recall a few pithy "extra toppings". Can't recall them now. They add the cheeses are $1.50 more. Not that it matters, but, I had a short rib ($10) with beer cheese and green olives and onion and tomato. It came with a side. I chose fries. They were served in a little fryer basket and that was the extent of their charm They were also over salted. They were another cliché I hate. Those skin on offenders that never crisp up. Sodas were $3. The place looks exactly the same. They even replicated (didn't update) the booze section of Firefly. I recoiled in apprehension when I saw their signage over X-mas. I knew it would suck. I knew I would have to waste both my money and time there. Intuition was dead on. They can't even conjure up an original moniker. Is it Smiling Bison or is it the Hairy Buffalo? No. It is the Hangry Bison. Good one! An interesting (to me) side note. My step brother coined the phrase "hangry" in the Nineties. He also came up with bacne. As well as a host of other acne related (as well as others) words (like nacne) that are derived from where the acne is located on the body. Aside from zed. Which was a dick zit. I have added some words to the English vocabulary as well, but, I doubt you will believe either of the stories I have just told you. It makes me chuckle when I hear them though. You wonder how this game of telephone worked its way through the country. I was also responsible for the "Baby It Is Cold Outside" controversy. FYI.

In any case, this place sucks. The funniest part is that they claim to have "won" the best burger in CF award. I wonder what questionable publication is responsible for that? I love these "fan vote" contests of a dozen or so entrants. These are the same hayseeds that vote Sonny's BBQ best barbeque and Tijuana Flats best Mexican. And those are some of the lesser obscenities. If it wasn't clear, stay clear of here or you will be as angry as a bison getting fucked by Mike Tyson..

1000 Degrees, Lake Mary

I tried this new assembly lime pizza chain on International Parkway (next to the poke place I just reviewed) on Thursday. It opened ten days ago. It's like Blaze (and probably like the California chain Midici that awaits a visit) et al. You line up. You select a size and toppings. You are served. I tried two pies for posterity. A ten inch (also available in fourteen inch and roman) gluten for $9 and classic margherita for $8. I chose the signature marinara sauce for both. Shredded mozzarella with sausage, pepperoni, onion and mushrooms on the first. Fresh mozzarella and basil on the other. They were fine. The mushrooms were a bit grimy. The sauce tasted like Chef Boyardee. The sausage was made up of those goose shit looking pellet droppings. However, the crust was mainly chewy (the first half of my first pie was dry) and the pie thin. The fresh mozz pie was a bit soggy. I was surprised by how much they put on and how much surface area they covered. The pep was Hormel like, but, ok. The onions were fresh. We can all agree that they could source better, but, there is a profit to be made and I don't think we come here for that. I do wish they would attend that sauce. That can be remedied cheaply and effortlessly. it is the preeminent sauce. I stopped at those topping, but, there are no limits. They have eight meats and cheeses and sauces and sixteen veggies to choose from. They prepare eight pies for instant ordering. They are a dollar more. They have five salads ($8) and two types of wings and breadsticks and two desserts. Beer and wine (?) too. The place looks new. It is new. And modern. and clean. They even offer up knives and forks. Fountain and bottled sodas. It's not a bucket list item, but, it is an option. The line was a dozen or so deep for the duration of my meal. HQ is in Galloway NJ.

Poke Joint, Lake Mary - Closed

I had lunch at this fireworks factory yesterday. It is in International Parkway in between AAA and 46a in a new strip mall. The first pyrotechnic display happened fifteen minutes after arrival. The second at 4:30am. And the latest at 2pm today. I'm not sure of the science behind such things. It wouldn't seem possible for something you put into your body to pass through (or push previously eaten items through) so quickly. However, I am assured that the 4:30 showing can be attributed solely to what I ate here. The only undigested scallions I had lately were from here. They came from the tuna poke bowl ($12). Nothing else I've eaten in the past few days had scallions. I know tuna can cause mercury poisoning, but, the Poke Joint seems to be exposing us to Freddie Mercury poisoning. An attack on the immune system.

They serve two types of tuna. One marinated and one plain. The plain looked so pale I had to go with anything else. The tuna was poor in quality. It was soft and flossy. Cheap tail cuts. I detected a fishy taste in some of the pieces that weren't overwhelmed by the marinade and the extra squirt from the piss bottle. If I cared more for my well being (or hadn't figured the damage was already done) I would have stopped eating and demanded my money back. The rice was no better. Dry as could be. I wouldn't be shocked to learn that they make it the day before and refrigerate (dry) it. That or their warming pot is set too high. They also do salmon. This is probably the worst of the six or so poke places I have reviewed in the last twelve months. So, needless to say it was packed. It seats about forty inside and ten outside. Order at the counter. They have been open for five months. It may be up your alley if you don't like the thought of an enema but need to cut weight fast.

*A pizza place (1000 Degrees) seemed to be opening next door on that day.

**Here are some items I sampled while in Australia. I'll put the region in after them if it is known or if not Australian. They have a lot of Asian restaurants there. Feel free to imagine my comments where they should be and then go and research what they are. A "#" will mean they said it was the national dish. Here we go: Chili peas (?), Golgappe (India), Lamb Rogan Josh (Kashmir), Musselman Beef (Kashmir), Barramundi tacos, Crispy Skin and Pork Belly Banh Mi (Vietnam), Ark Shell Clam, Pacific Kingfish, Dusk and Egg Jian Bing (China), Shanghai Noodle Soup with Smoked Fish (Shanghai), Prawn and Pork Soup Bun (Shanghai), Amok Trey (#Cambodia), Crocodile and Snow Peas (China), Sliced Donkey Meat Salad in Chili Powder (Sichuan), Battered Flathead, Crumbed Blue Grenadier, Stewed Pork Belly in Savory Sauce (Singapore), Japanese Fried Chicken (Japan), Hand Torn Noodles with scrambled Egg and Bok Choy (Xi'An), Pork Rougamo (Xi'An), Coconut Ice Cream with Coconut Chips in Avocado Puree (Vietam), Chicken Kottu (#Sri Lanka), Calypso Mango, Scallop Pie and Bruny Island Oysters. I also came across things like stuffed frogs, nitrogen iced coffee. wallaby and a chicken patty the size of your head (Taiwan) that I didn't try. Their McDonald's serves grilled cheese and gravy fries.

2018 Favorites List

I'll post these early this year. I think I asked for more authentic Chinese last year. Wish granted. I've already railed against the effusion of high priced (and low) Mexican and poke joints and ramen bars. You know what I think they say about the state of our community and culture in general. Here's hoping they all die a painful death and are replaced with something more exotic. Or at least new recipes from time tested regional fare and/or slight deviations in representative locales. How about regional cooking from "second" or "third" tier cities and towns like Xi'an or Nantes or Como or Kyoto or Ching Mai? Or "freaky" things like an unbroken noodle.

And remember that these rankings depend on price points as much as execution. It's like boxing. There are weight classes. A few received bonus points for ambiance/panache.


$ - Sausage Shack, Chou La La, Sticky Rice, Papa Sabz, Brownierie, Nam Giao Deli, Bahn Mi Cali, Geni's Philly Steaks.

$$ - Tamale Co, Pizzeria Roberti, 081 Wood Fire Pizza, BBB Tofu House, Pastrami Project,  Buttermilk Bakery, Zero Degrees, 5th Element, Stasio's, Bem Bom, Mr. Worldwide Famous, Ka

$$$ - Glass Knife, El Buda, Peter's Kitchen, Grille's Lakeside, Café Linger, Peppino's, Wa Sushi, Tartine, Grato

$$$$ - Kadence, Mario and Enzo's

Cinco, Winter Park - Closed

I had lunch at this Mexican restaurant across from Trader Joe's on 17-92/ N. Orlando today. I was less than pleased a few weeks back when I saw that this place (Carmel Kitchen) had switched over to yet another Mexican restaurant. One with presumptions to boot. After espying the $4 soda charge on the menu I became more so. Then the uninspired and limited menu really had them playing from behind. I ordered the reasonably priced (for here) taco plate at $15. It came with three tacos and beans and rice. I tried to over-sample (for you) and ended up with a chicken in a lettuce (romaine leaf) cup, a carne asada in a soft corn tortilla and a barbacoa in a soft wheat tortilla. They were all mediocre. The chicken was dry. The carne was cooked medium, but, the pickled onions clashed with the aged cotija. Same with the chipotle bbq sauce on the barbacoa. Plus a third of the "pull" was uneatable. This isn't the first time I've been perplexed by the flavor choices at "high priced" Mexican endeavors around town. They seem to be embarrassed by the pricing and compensate by piling add ons onto it. I know it was early on Christmas Eve day, but, I doubt the execution is ever noteworthy. And like I said, the recipes are suspect. And even if wise, all they seem to do is provide coverage for ham handedness with the principal elements of the dish. The rest of the menu is pricy. $30 salmon. $30 pork chops. $20+ for enchiladas and other Mexican staples. They seem more concerned with the booze. It is featured more broadly on the menu. Which falls apart while you are reading it. The chips were good. The salsa had no kick. Tasted like pureed tomatoes. I want to digress for a second to wonder how there is always one "razor blade" tortilla chip in every batch. Felons shouldn't ask for cakes with dangerous objects baked in. They should ask for tortilla chips. Back to the meal. It took a while to arrive. Thirty minutes. Only two other diners competing for the attention of the kitchen. I'll accept the possibility that they cook fresh to order. I do this because the rice and beans were fresh. And flavorful. The style seemed a bit more Latin than Mexican. Maybe that is why the main components seemed to suffer. Maybe the cook is Latin? The space is cute. They added a little flair to the outside. Two murals in the dining room. A cliché "skeleton painted" senorita and a tribal figure in an agave pina. The rest of the place is the same if I remember correctly. They have parking in the back. They were nice. They gave me a free margarita coupon on the back of the business card. I'm not sure if they would have extended that generosity unless I had asked for the card and they all have that printed on the back. In any case, I have one. Which is good because I think they start at $16. I'm pretty sure they had one on the menu at $29. The menu said they plan on opening in NYC. I think even Gotham-ites are familiar enough with Mexican cuisine at this point to think twice about the price to value ratio. They have been open for six months. It's odd that their name fits perfectly with what score I would assign them. They were less than necessary and even more so after sampling them. I wish I could have ended the year off on a more positive note. Hate to be Grichy. Not really. But, yes in this case.

*I was going to try out a new Italian pizza chain in Maitland, but, they said they won't open until January 20 something. It's called Midici.

Taste of Chengdu, West Colonial *LV Travel Notes

I went to this new (6 months) Sichuan restaurant aside a Best Western for lunch on Wednesday. They have started running a food show by guy who was at the forefront of these kind of shows (Martin Yan) on UCF PBS lately. And the shows have all centered around Chengdu. So my interest was already kindled. I would have been here earlier, but, it was always on a Monday and they are closed then. Chengdu is the capital of the Sichuan province (SW China). The chef here once ran Zen at the Omni Orlando. If that is the one at Champions Gate, I may have seen it. I don't think I ate there. He has developed a pretty robust menu. It features the land and sea and even oddities such as pig intestine and rabbit. Not a ton of freak show material, but enough to make it interesting. They did say something about "changing" the menu, so, let's hope they don't dumb it down too much. They initially tried to hide the lunch special for me, but, I got one and tried the shredded pork with spicy garlic something or other. It came with rice (fried) and soup (egg drop) for $8. That was less than the price of the app (rabbit) I was going to order off the main menu. The pork (strips) was fine. It came with sliced peppers and onions and mushrooms. The fried rice was barely fried. And too fluffy. The soup was good. Not too salty. I also ordered Spicy Dan Dan Noodles with Minced Pork for $7. Either this or the lunch special would have been enough on their own. I powered through like a good soldier though. The noodles were good. The pork was fine. Two versions. Nice heat. Service was a bit anxious. Nice though. The hostess chose to chat with me. The table next to me had a guy who sounded like Javier Bardem and they were ordering everything and enjoying it. No air holes to the forehead. The place seats about eighty and started filling up. The place looks clean and redone. I think it was a diner with a Hollywood theme the last time I was here. It is before that huge police headquarters if you are coming from I-4. I'd go back. They said they do the "American" breakfast for the hotel. I'm not sure if anyone can enjoy it.

*I'll hip you to some Asian places I ate at in Las Vegas this week since we are on the subject. The last four have been on TV. They are all on or just off Spring Mountain Road. It starts at the Wynn. I found it looking for some place called Raku. It has a ton of Asian restaurants. And almost as many rub out joints. Here's the list.

Kapit Bahay, Mian Sichuan Noodle, Takopa, Pho 87, Joyful House, Hot N Juicy Crawish "The Original Location" (Richman), Hobak Korean BBQ (Zimmern). Consult TVFOODMAPS if interested. Kaizen sushi across from the Hard Rock also gets 4.5 stars on Yelp. It was ok.

I also should point out a potential franchise called Bruxie. They do chicken and waffle sandwiches, etc.

Capital Grille, International Drive

I hauled my ass over to Pointe Orlando from the airport to try a place (Itta Bene) that ended up throwing a private party. I audibled to this. I've been to other ones in other cities and that plus the prices have left it off my to do list. I had a wedge salad for $12 and steak tartare for $18. Both from the appetizer section. The wedge was ok. Lots of blue cheese dressing and thick bacon bits and a few cherry tomatoes. They say the tartare feeds two people. As an app, I agree. One as a main. It was good. Not very minced. Atop some egg and onions and capers. The tiny capers were good. A side of pickled onions. Five toast halves. Very cracker like. A bit dressed. These things (and soup) are the only off ramps on the menu. The cheapest main was a salmon at $29 or $39. No matter. Most everything else is over $40 anyway. Be prepared for that. The one salmon is saw served was burned. Service was good. At the bar. The tap water is Fiji. That saves a few bucks. They validated the parking. That saved $4 more. It was full. It has that steakhouse look. Black on black. Wood and leather. Easier to stomach when it is being expensed, but, digestible on your own.

*They are opening a place called Hop Daddy. Across from CG. I think it was an ice bar. There is a bowlorama/arcade in the rear of PO called Main event. I'm not sure how long that has been there. It's huge.

Pizza Pie Tutorial

The following is from John Crudele at the NY Post (today's issue).

Full pizza pies are smaller than the "by the slice" pies. 16" versus 20". If you posit that a full pizza is $15 and a slice is $2.50, given the eight slices in a pie, then the per slice price is less. 6 cents versus 7 cents per square inch. The full pie is 201 square inches. The sliced pie is 304 square inches. Per slice that is 25.12 versus 39.25 square inches. So. even with the higher slice cost, you are getting more pie and it costs less per inch if you do the math. According to article, this is common practice. They say that is why they will never sell you the whole "on display" pie and you have to wait for a "fresh" one. Give it a looksy.

Grub Crawl - Disney Springs: D-Luxe Burger, BB Wolfe's Sausage Co and Chicken Guy

I dropped by here at lunch last week to sweep up the remaining dust from my list that normally would have happened over Thanksgiving. That is no longer going to be a tradition. The "wonderful" people at Dismay decided to raise the prices at the Advocare Invitational again. Now a once $10 all access session (2) ticket costs $55. Or from $20 to $110. For mostly garbage match ups.

D-Luxe Burger - I'm not sure if they are Disney owned, but, they might as well be. This was the most expensive and the worst of the three places I went to on this day. The place looks like a Zaxby's. It's supposed to be a ranch/barn. The burger was a blend of machine pressed fast food hockey puck and house burger. It was the worst of both worlds. Rare/cold inside. Rubbery outside. And it was greasy and salty. I had been using a pound of cheap ground meat (for meat sauce) at 70-30 that week and it gave off this amount of liquid fat as this burger. It came with some limp veg and a brioche bun. I find brioche too rich. Especially when paired with this much fat. This joke cost $10+. They also offered $8 fries that looked (battered) like Burger King fries. A soda was $4. The menu has a few burgers, one chicken sandwich and a grilled cheese on the kid's menu. I was expecting very little and got less. They also gave you a pager for some reason. They came and served the meal. They need the beeper. I need a sign. I'm not even going to tell you where it is. That is to help you.

BB Wolf's Sausage Co - I won't tell you where this is either. It's a kiosk that sells a few $9 sausages and a few slightly less expensive snacks. I had a pretzel twist because it was the cheapest thing I could get away with. It cost $6+. It wasn't very big, but, it was ok. It came wit two dips. A cheese fondue and mustard. I wonder how much they cost at Wetzel's Pretzel's? I just got that this Big Bad Wolf's Sausage stand. Slightly meta. Double entendre?

Chicken Guy - I was on the way out (confirming Wolfgang Puck's was open) and saw this Guy Fieri fast food chicken spot. I grabbed a Sauce Boss to go for $6. It was just two fried tenderloins (ala Zaxby's - again) on a bun with shredded lettuce and tomato. Sadly, it far exceeded anything else I sampled that day. If I had a family at Disney, this the cheapest/best option. It  has chicken sandwiches, salads, tenders, slaw, fries, street corn, fried pickle chips, mac and two desserts (one has Apple Jacks)  They have a ton of sauce combinations. My order allowed my to select any two. I think I did something green (lime and/ot chili and/or avocado) twice over. The place is an order at the counter type. It looks new and plastic-y. Clean feel. It just got in before the line got long. I think they opened in August. It is across from Wolgang Puck's. A left off the parking lot escalators.

*Jaleo is not ready. They are adding some kind of pub next to the proposed NBA place down by the Cirque tent. They aren't charging for parking in the Lime lot, yet.

How To Get A Good Table In A Restaurant Tutorial

This was also in yesterday's post (Melissa Malamut).

It basically boiled down to be a regular or family or grease the maitre d' ($20 to $50) or dress to the nines.

Best tables: Visible from the door, but, far away enough from the draft. I was taught that the corner tables were the best. I believe the one diagonal from the door (if other factors don't interfere) was the best and the one in the left hand corner was the second best. The article didn't mention that.

Worst tables: Near the door. Near the bathroom. Near the kitchen. .

Online: Open Table and Resy (some places) let you chose tables (in a general sense - like patio or bar area). You'll have to confirm. I won't use them.

Other tips: Schmooze on the phone. Arrive on time.


And I have two recommendations that work for me. Go at weird hours and/or just ask for the table you want. You can always threaten to bolt if they big time you (reserve this for when/if the place is empty and you don't look homeless). At certain places and certain locales the dim wit at the hostess desk may not know what is a good table is.

I remember a mafia or spy movie where the lead character always took the table in the corner which had all the sight lines and was away from ambush points and windows. Factor that in if it applies. And memorize all the points of ingress and egress and items within reach that can serve as weapons or shields. Bring along a food taster if practicable. And for God;s sake check the back of the toilets for taped up hand guns. Tape yours under the table like Han Solo.

White Truffle Tutorial

Here are some tips from yesterday's article in the NY Post (Steve Cuozzo).

Season: October through December.

Price: In 2018 they are running at $7 a GRAM in a restaurant (someone once told me a gram is the size of an M&M). The usual serving size is 10 grams. The article said that the price depends on the quality and they have heard of places charging double that because the source was better. They cost twice as much last year.

Ordering: You can ask them to weigh it in front of you. Ask when they came in. They lose their smell and flavor very quickly. Decline if more than 24 hours old.  I'm not sure how this really helps unless you ask the follow up question of when they were picked. Ask to see them. Anything smaller than a golf ball is a no go. The smaller the surface area, the quicker they lose their lustre. Seems counter-intuitive.

Cooking time: Zero. They must be served raw. Black ones can be cooked.

Characteristics: Even top chefs disagree. They combine 120 different aromas. Some include - Parmesan and roasted garlic or mushroom or bark or wet leaves.

Warning: Avoid white truffle oil. It is just olive oil and a chemical compound (2.4-Dithiapenatane).

Lai-Lai Chinese Cuisine, Orlando

I was looking for a place called The Noble Smokesman in the area last Wednesday afternoon. When I finally found it, it had a note on the door that said they were relocating. Too bad the reviewer at the Orlando Weekly wasn't apprised of this fact before (or after) he wrote about it. At least it wasn't conveyed to me in subsequent issues. Therefore, I was forced to audible. I had nothing concrete on my list, so, I decided to finally try this Asian spot on OBT in between Sand Lake and Oak Ridge (Southland Blvd). I've passed by it for years. They said they have been there for 33 years. It's nothing special. But not value less. I had the buffet because they pushed it and I wasn't planning on Asian food and it only cost $6. Plus it looked alright. It was. I tried the egg rolls, spring rolls, chicken with broccoli, fried pork, honey garlic chicken, kung pao chicken, pepper steak, pork lo mein, fried rice, white rice and the fried chicken. The fried chicken was the best. So fried. Sometimes you get that because it's the second or third time out and they refry it every day. The chicken wasn't dry enough for that. I think they just know how to do it. Thighs and drums. I had eight pieces. Take that KFC or Popeye's. Already saving money by eating here instead of there. The second best thing was the chicken and broccoli. Kind of like Moo Goo Gai Pan. I think the Moo or the Goo means mushrooms. Gai is chicken. So, this was that with broccoli instead. The rolls were what you'd expect. The pepper steak (just had one piece) was very tender. The fried rice was bland. The white rice was properly cooked. The lo mein wasn't too greasy. The other dishes were on par or better than most take out plus Chinese places. I just had a taste, so, it's not worth analyzing. There were three soups, a full dessert section and other dishes in the buffet. They have the full Chinese menu and a full sushi menu. The place isn't new or fancy. Basic wood tables, etc. It is clean. The two ladies working there were very nice. It is a great value. I'm not sure if it should be on your culinary to do list, but, it is a real value for those in the area. Maybe an option if you are going to the mall (or strip club I guess). If I lived near there I would go once a week. Seven times if I was bulimic.

*I stopped by a new French place (La Boucherie) on Turkey Lake Rd to see if it had opened. They said they opened on December 6th. I think the spot was a Graffiti Junction. It still look like it might be closed. I found the pricing a bit steep. I will be in to see if it is worth it sooner rather than later. They renamed the PGA golf place across the street something Greek.

Grato, Lake Mary (Moved to Winter Park)

I stopped at this Italian restaurant in the strip mall on Lake Mary Blvd and Rinehart (has the Burger Fi) yesterday. It seemed to be under construction for a year and finally opened three weeks ago. It was great. You know I usually take no joy in trying yet another Italian option, but, they may replace F&D as my Lake Mary fave. The place looks appealing. The menu is great. The execution was spotless. The service was friendly. The prices were reasonable. They even played background music (mellow Sinatra) at a unobtrusive volume. I had something from the lunch menu. It is less expansive than the dinner, but, not a four or five item cop out. I had the Italian Mac and Cheese for $12. I just saw an episode of 3D and Kid Rock took him to a place where they claim to have the best mac and cheese. It must have been on my mind. And then I saw Italian sausage and I had to have it. It had plenty of diced up sausage along with a blend of gooey cheese and sliced garlic and orecchiette and bread crumbs. A nice combo. Perfect portion size. The pasta was toothy. Sun dried tomatoes added some contrast to the savory elements. They also added some thyme or oregano. It wasn't salty. It came with some fairly good reheated rolls. The soda glass was large. They had other things like pizza and subs and meats done alla francese, marsala, etc. I saw a huge burger being delivered to another table. I was there at two pm and it was still about a third full. It seats about sixty in the windowed main room (with a bar) and thirty on an outside patio. The decor is more modern casual French or American, but, it works. Lots of wood. Black palette. everything is new. They have one of those sliding farm door at the rear. The kitchen is pretty much out of sight. The wine list wasn't picked by the distributor. It had some interesting options. Same with the hard stuff. Mostly well chosen. The beer seemed to be widely distributed craft options like Shocktop. The pizza area is up front. I think you can grab slices to go. The dinner menu has sixteen items ranging from burrata to carpaccio to chicken wings to some sliced sausage ring and fennel and broccoli rabe thing called Meeker Ave. If they were really serious they would dump things like mozz sticks and wings, but, it makes the place more accessible and it doesn't seem to hurt the authentic stuff. Pastas like cacio e pepe. While not mixed in a wheel of cheese, it is good to see that some one in this town has heard of it and is offering a version. It's one of about a dozen pastas. Sixteen including "classics". There are four fish dishes and four chicken dishes and four veal dishes. Six beef/steak dishes. Four salads. Two soups. Five heros. Five calzones/stromboli. Seven desserts. They even have a kids section The highest priced thing is steak at $33. Fish is in the low $20's. Pasta in the teens. A 10" pizza is $8. a 14" is $13. I thoroughly intend on coming back and it will be on my "favorites" list. Very surprising. Very welcome. I couldn't find out much if anything about ownership or the kitchen.

*11/25/2018 - I returned for dinner and it was less inspiring. My cacio e pepe tasted of neither. Nor seasoned. I tried a piece of a friends chicken dish and the chicken was rubbery. My salad came on a frigid plate that denoted pre-assembly and staging that you see at catered affairs. It tasted similarly The mussel soup was also unseasoned and bland. The calamari was good. The chicken wings were bland. The salmon looked unappealing (over cooked). They didn't serve bread. I'll chalk it up to Thanksgiving weekend fatigue. I'll give them one more shot to get back on my good side. Place was packed though.

**12/12/2018 - I grabbed their two slice and a drink special today. The pizza was good. They get back into my good graces.