PSA - Phone Scam 646-569-6913

I'm not sure if I PSA'ed about a BS IRS phone scam right after tax day last year, but, it appears we have another round. Read what I cut from David J. a Lead Investigator for a web site called scamcallfighters.com. I'm not endorsing them. They just came up when I searched the number. You should make a habit of that before you return a call. The gist is that the call (like the one in April saying the IRS is suing you) is BS. I hope this alleviates anxiety.

The web page where I found the info below is http://www.scamcallfighters.com/scam-call-6465696913-IRS-SCAM--FOREIGNERS-STATING-IRS-IS-SUING-US--To-Call-646-569-6913-Tax-Scam-37250.html. The message I received didn't adhere to this script (probably adjusting it). The beginning was garbled, but, they said "someone filed a lawsuit (sounded like IRS) in my name and I must respond before it went before the local county court". If it was the IRS they used as the imaginary litigant then it would be a tip off that they think they use county courts to conduct their business. Plus it would be weird to say a lawsuit was filed in my name. That makes it sound like a proxy/agent filed a suit for me. A person with legal expertise would say a lawsuit was filed against you. Although you can't always count on proper grammar and vocabulary from legal professionals or bloggers.

Explaining the scam:

The pre-recorded message is a scam. The message is left by automated dialers set up by scammers in India & other foreign locations. The computers are programmed to call thousands of numbers everyday, to leave these threatening messages.

When you call back, you will encounter one of those Indian or other foreign scumbags who speak poor English! Recent immigrants and seniors are their primary target.

(On 15th Sept 2015, an Indian woman and her boy friend were arrested by Leonia PD for making scam phone calls posing as IRS agents and stealing ~$150,000 from innocent tax payers. More Details: www.scamcallfighters.com/Transcript-of-Ten--IRS-scam--voicemails-submitted-by-users--Did-you-get-one-too--blog-74.html )

The IRS will never call anyone “out of the blue” and ask to pay. IRS will send notices through regular mail.

The IRS will always send written notice through the U.S. postal system of any taxes due, and will never ask for credit, debit or prepaid card details by any form of communication

For more info on this scam and links to file complaints with the Treasury Inspector General for Tax Administration, please go through the Article at:

www.scamcallfighters.com/Dont-fall-for-voicemails-purportedly-from-the-IRS-about-to-sue-or-arrest-you--blog-75.html

Chutneys, Sand Lake Rd - Closed

I grabbed dinner to go at this Indian restaurant on Saturday. It replaced Lolailo (thanks for saying you weren't caput all summer when you were) four months ago. That's the strip mall on Turkey Lake Rd that has the new PGA Superstore and I think Gold's Gym. It seems to be a chain in India. The owner says he owns a couple of them there. It doesn't feel like a chain at all. They have a $10 buffet. It looked acceptable. 5 meat dishes. I had the Chicken Chettinad because I had never knowingly had it before. It was basically chicken cubes in a masala that showcased black pepper. It was good. I had it medium and that was pretty hot. It came with basmati rice. Good, It seats about eighty. It looks acceptable. They have a large mural of an elephant caravan on the wall. It still was serving a third full restaurant at three pm. The menu was solid. Most meat/vegetable/seafood groups. Even goat and lamb. Some Asian style dishes. Dosas. Prices were in line. I can't find much fault with my visit. I didn't forget to punctuate. They spell it that way.

Grub Crawl - Sand Lake Rd: Le Coq Au Vin Bistro and Urbain 40.

I had lunch at these two restaurants on Saturday. This was after my first, second and third choices were still not open or closed for lunch. I decided to review them together because they have similar menus and price points. One was disappointing and one was a surprise. The first is in the strip mall on Dr Phillips. The other is in the old Cantina Laredo spot in the Via Dellagio complex.

Le Coq Au Vin Bistro - This place replaced Bistro Clo Clo and you wouldn't know there was a change. And that is a bad thing. You can still expect a small, dull menu of "greatest hits". The one accomodation/deviation was a schnitzel. The worst thing they did was make me question whether the "real" Coq Au Vin was as good as I remembered or if I had subconscioully graded it on an "Orlando" curve all along. It has been at least ten years since I have last gone to it. Maybe it's not so great either? Maybe it was just "recommended" when the Orlando food scene was primordial? They say that this place has their old chef and is run by the family. Hopefully, he was sleeping off a hang over and his retarded cousin cooked for me. I had their fish special for $14. As I said, the rest of the menu is about as creative as any music made by Millenials (when they aren't straight up ripping off copyrighted material). And it's expensive for what they offer. The fish was grouper and on the plus side it was grouper. I think they "borrowed" a recipe for deep water flat fish like tile fish or monk fish and used grouper. It must be plentiful this year because I have seen it on way too many menus lately. The sauce was a tomato, beurre blanc. It was congealed on the fish. How one manages to congeal a sauce on a warm fish still dumbfounds me. The fish was sauteed properly, but, it was leaking water/fish juice. I can only surmise that it was frozen and it hadn't defrosted completely before they cooked it. The "juice" did not help the tomato "paste" on top. And that paste tasted of white wine that hadn't had the alcohol burned off. Fail. In concept and execution.  It came with great french fries. Maybe the fish guy beat the fry guy to the pass and that is why the sauce congealed. I should have anticipated a poor entree after I tasted their bread. It did not seem home made or fresh or good. The butter was a complete insult. It was frozen solid and tasted rancid and/or of the other things it spent the night in the freezer with. And that's if it wasn't melted down from previous meals and reused. They also did not refill a $3 soda. They didn't do anything to the interior. They have been open for four months. There were four other tables eating while I was there. I heard grumblings. They said the manager just left. I wonder if that is a sign. Maybe the rats are already leaving the ship. Maybe he/she was responsible for this mess. This sentiment was made all the worse thanks to an article in the Orlando Weekly that I was reading at the time. It directed me to the next place I'll write about

Urbain 40 - They have been open for half the time and already have their shit together. Even for a meal requested after the expected time window. The place is the domain of a Moroccan family that has some bigger "concerns" in CF. I forget what they are. They say the place is an American bistro (or something like that), but, it's really more of a Parisian bistro you would have found in  Morocco or a Moroccan/North African influenced bistro in Paris. You could throw in LA, Palm Beach, Miami  or NYC too. The decor reminds me of Trader Vic's (less Tiki) or The Palm ( the originals). Someplace that my grand parents would take us to because it was "in" when they were young and had managed to survive. It's probably the palm tree patterns above the booths. I think they just say "American" because it's not totally French and they think anything Arab sounding would die on the vine. The article said the place looks posh and it does. I would recommend that they separate the two rooms (lounge and dining room) because you get the ass view of the bar (the staging area) if you're on the kitchen side of the dining area. Plus the decors of the two rooms are different enough as to clash. The dining area seats about 50. They have sooo much space free space that you could probably bring your wife and mistress to dinner at the same time. Half "booths" dominate the walls. They even have little corner booths in the middle of the room. I love the chandeliers. That's all I'll say. See them yourselves. The walls are a medium toned stained wood. The vibe is supposed to be the 40's. I think that makes it Art Deco even though this looked more Art Nouveau. I may have that confused. The kitchen is all white tile. It is open. They have a chef's table. The lounge is all wood and has a piano and tributes to Sinatra. It seats about fifty. They are going for a vintage "men's club" vibe. They sell a lot of brown liquor (as Steve Harvey would say). They have two private room done up as libraries. The menu was mostly French at lunch. They add more Italian and seafood/raw bar items at dinner. Prices were reasonable. I had a "lunch box" of three items (can do four) for $14. I chose French Onion Soup, Half a Croque Monsieur and Peanut Butter Chocolate Petit Fours/Squares. The soup was tasty. A cup that was more than enough. It came with everything it was supposed to come with. The ingredients weren't cheap. The presentation/cup was elegant. The Croque was beautiful. Dali couldn't have melted the cheese over the sandwich with more elan. The flavors were impressive as well. A regal ham and cheese. The dessert was also delicious. Two squares of delectable chocolate. ET's finger would have squirted green spuge over these "Pieces". The bread was excellent and home made. It was still warm. The butter was soft and didn't taste like stale fish. Service was great. Knowledgeable. Helpful. Dressed professionally. I saw a "fajita" style Mussels plate come out twice. That looked like a winner. They played Forties era music/covers by new artist's like Michael Buble. I had the "rape song" (Baby It's Cold Outside) in my head the rest of the afternoon. I thoroughly recommend this place. It's everything that Le Coq Au Vin could be and everything it could never be. It's not even a question of where you should spend your money. They don't even break the $3 mark on soda.

Sazoncito, OIA

I stopped at this Dominican spot in the mall with a Walmart and across from Joe's Crab Shack on 436 last Wednesday night. And let me tell you, it isn't a great idea to eat a softball of shredded beef after a Roast Beef sandwich at Jersey Mike's and then take three, over night flights to the Galapagos Islands. It was like having a Rube Goldberg Machine (think of the beginning of Elementary) in my intestines that ended with something similar to when you squeeze a tennis ball can hard so that it launches a tennis ball into the air (or in this case a bowl). As you can guess, I had some shredded beef. It was a toss in to the roast chicken platter I ordered. The place was closing and I offered to take the remaining scraps of beef in place of my two sides and at the platter price. He didn't hear me correctly and gave me two sides in addition. The platter cost $6. I think the regular price of the chicken platter was like $3. Something ridiculously low. The sides were a mountain of white rice (the portion I ate really helped the digestive dilemma I created) and beans. I didn't dare add beans to the mixture because I knew I had created a problem for myself and didn't want to add potential energy that would become kinetic in mid-flight . The beef and chicken was good. The beef was stewed with peppers, etc. The chicken was probably better earlier on. The meat was a little dry and the skin was getting soggy. The piece was big. The rice was moist with a buttery flavor. They serve "platos" with thirty three listed items. I don't think they are all available all the time. They range from lasagna to chuletas. They also have salads and desserts and apps (ie empanadas). The place is small. It isn't going to be featured in Architectural Digest, but, it is clean. They closed at 8pm. The owner says he is going to start opening earlier in the morning. They list it as open at 9am now. They have been open for ten months.

Grub/Pub Crawl - I Drive: Ramos Trattoria, Naru Sushi (Closed) and Ice Bar Orlando (Closed)

I went to these spots on I Drive on Saturday night. The first is off Kirkman in that strip mall that houses Boi. The next is at the edge of the development around the Ferris wheel. The last is a little farther down the street.

Ramos Trattoria - I've rued the day I had to revisit this spot. It was most recently Big Italy. It was bought by the Boi people and they opened your basic Italian restaurant there. They did next to nothing to the place. And it's disordered/messy. After viewing the banal menu and seeing the dearth of customers (zero tables when I entered and two when I left), I decided to just get a pizza to go. Believe me, if I didn't have a stick up my ass about giving everyone a fair chance to impress me, I would have just walked out and told you not tto bother. The cheapest pizzas started at $12. And this gets you a Frisbee sized pie. I'm so glad I cut my losses. The pizza was ok. I'll stipulate to that. Thick though. It came with sausage that I was burping up the next morning. There is little Brazilian influence on the menu. Maybe that's a plus from what I've seen them do to Italian recipes. I think the one thing was the pot luck pizza they call a Portuguese. It has crap like corn on it. Totally gross. It was almost $20 for the small. The pastas and few meat items are "greatest hits". They all were near $20. This place is overpriced, underwhelming and probably not long for this world. It (like alot of places down here now) exists to pray on Brazilian families. Who have to be the most frivolous spenders on the planet. You are not that stupid or irresponsible, so, avoid this place. What is worst is that they are only open for dinner. There is no way to challenge my sentiments without costing you your date night. I think they have been there for a year.

Naru Sushi - This place just opened up around a month ago. It was my plan b going in. Another one to just get off my list. It turned out be other other side of the karmic coin. I had some really good salmon sashimi and good tuna sashimi for $7 a pop. 5 huge slices carved correctly. I also had some salmon, octopus and tuna sushi (two pieces for $3.95 and $3.50 respectively). They were equally good. The first round's rice was worse than the second so, I'm not sure which you will get. Service was good. The place looks new. The liquor selection was good. The menu is a little limited in the fish department and it is peculiar. I say peculiar in that (for example) they have some selections that are named by state (ie Oregon) that have zero correlation to the name. It's not like the fish come from there or anything. They also have alot of hot Japanese items. The place is divided into three rooms. There is a sushi bar room, a main room and a bar. I sat at the bar. The main room was full of Brazilian families. Man they drag those urchins out at all hours. The other room is oddly/sparsely tabled, so, it seemed emptier. No one at the sushi bar. This place is also run by Brazilians. The menu evinces almost no reflection of that. As long as they will keep buying quality fish and serving in these quantities, then I can give it the thumbs up. They also have outdoor seating.

Ice Bar - I finally checked out this bar with an ice bar within. It costs $16 to get into the inner sanctum. It's fine. I've been in others in Sweden and Finland. They bring in blocks of ice and make a fort. You know the drill. Drinks were not included. They ran around $6. They are served in an ice glass that you can smash. They provide a parka or a fur coat (extra $). The main club is your usual lounge type club. It's modern. There was some crowd there. Maxim density was not reached. It's a goof. A cheap thrill. Young crowd.

Grub Crawl - Altamonte Springs: Venus Pizzeria (Closed) and Metro Diner

I stopped by these two places on 434 near Lake Brantley HS during the day on Monday. They say this is Altamonte. I say Longwood.

Venus Pizzeria - They have eluded my gaze for what seems to be two years. They are behind a 7-11 on the road to the high school. Another pizzeria used to be across the street. Now that building is under construction. Nor sure if there is a correlation. This place serves pizza, wings, heros, salads, calzones, stromboli, and eight pasta dishes. It is decorated in Lake Brantley HS sports gear. They have lots of specials (ie $1 slices on Wed). I had their $5 pizza special (2 and a soda and 2 knots) because this was just a service call. As such, I didn't really investigate how they do pizza. The crust was weird. I'm not sure if this is an Easy Bake Oven (conveyor belts) kind of place or they don't produce/proof the dough correctly, but, it didn't taste as good as it looked. And they speed in which it (a new pie) was delivered made my wonder in retrospect. Nothing terrible. It was very thin and the cheese/sauce was good. Just nothing compelling. So - good value and acceptable pizza. They have seating. Parking is very limited. They seemed nice.

Metro Diner - I came down here for this new tenant in the old Friendly's/Carmel's spot. I saw a big line here last week. The staff was commenting on the lunch rush when I pulled in. It seems I just escaped it. The place was still quite full. It's a branch of a mini dynasty that started in Jacksonville. It's a soul food type southern diner. I tried to be as experimental and extensive as possible with my order. If it wasn't for you people then I probably would have just had a burger. I tried the eggs benedict Surf and Turf and grabbed a fried chicken biscuit to go. The eggs cost $14 and came with a huge pile (half a long plate) of slightly undercooked hash browns. The eggs were also slightly underdone. I figure that because of these lunch rushes that the staff is either exhausted by the time they can concentrate on the dishes or too out of practice by then. The hollandaise wasn't bad. I can't really say what it was because it was overwhelmed by the crab/steak. The crab cake was ok. I've never really had a good one and I wasn't expecting that drought to end here. It was better than I expected and not a bad combo with the eggs. The steak was the same deal. I wasn't really expecting a quality cut. As it was, it had the ring of fat you see in a rib eye. I would be surprised if it was though. The biscuit ( I tried it because they crow about their chicken) cost $3.59. That is a really good price. The chicken was way more than the finger they describe it as. It was a nice piece of shoulder or thigh (probably shoulder since it was all white meat and no bone). It was fried right. They don't adulterate the taste with any spices. The biscuit was also good (and big). The rest of the menu is familiar. Waffles, pancakes, omelets, meatloaf, etc. If I hadn't had a Stouffer's Chicken Pot Pie the night before, I would have ordered that. It was a steal at around $8 and the one I saw coming out of the kitchen looked good. Most things are under $10. I think they top out at $15. A soda was just over $2. The pricing is all over the place though. Some things are cheaper than you'd expect and vica-verca (ie breakfast sandwich was also only $3.59). The place looks ok. I would hide the soda/coffee/prep area that is visible from almost every seat in the house and an eyesore. They have a quasi-separate room. It seats around sixty. They have a counter. They have alot of staff. Mine was conscientious if a little obsequious. I guess it's a good sign when they appear desperate to have your approval/business. They have been open for a month. I suspect they will be clogging arteries around here for a while. Just what the public wants but doesn't need.

2015 Favorites List

I finally (after eating at almost every place) came up with a way to placate those who want my thoughts condensed into their essence. This is a list of the places I liked the most this year. It isn't a "Best" list. I hate having to edit this thing on closures alone. I'm not maintaining a rankings system. I chose three categories based on price. The lower the price range the lower the expectations too. However, some of those "value" establishments may be better than those above them. *I would have a $$$$ ($50+ per person) category, but, I didn't go to any that made the list. Some places were good, but, their pricing was out of line. All these places justify their price points.

The listing is in no specific order. Use the search function to refresh your recollection of what I said about them or where they are. It's funny how representative they are in terms of location and ethnicity. I didn't plan it that way.

$$$ - Kappo (Closed/Moving), Osprey Tavern, Tapa Toro, F&D, Golden Knife (Closed), Boathouse, Al Fresco, Dally in the Alley (Closed)

$$ - Ana's Kitchen, New Go Hyang Gip, Mynt, Lombardi's, Yummy House, Dolphin View

$ - Mrs Potato, Mi Raza, Lechonera El Jibacito #2, Patacon Con Todo, Wake Up Cafe, Blaze, Pizza 1905 (off the list)

Neighborhood Eatery, Downtown

I grabbed a Koagie to go yesterday at this American cafe with a Korean slant. It is on N. Magnolia in the corner spot that recently was a Middle Eastern and a pizza place and a cheese steak place. The Koagie is a bulgogi inspired cheese steak. It cost $7.50. The beef was good. Thicker than steak-ums and thinner than usual bulgogi strips. It's the perfect thickness. I'm not sure if they shave it or not. The meat had no gristle or fat like in regular bulgogi. The flavor was ok. It came with sauteed onions and some kind of cheese. I think the menu mentioned a garlic sauce. The roll was about one half of a spongy long roll. They did stuff that half though. The menu is smallish. Cheese steaks, some Korean platters, sausages, finger foods. They had a steal of a Korean platter that came with an egg roll and soda for $9. Loaded fries were $5. They had Korean soda for just over a buck. It has been open since March. They didn't do a thing to the place. It looks clean and has a nostalgic Fifties decor left over from one of the previous iterations. It has seating. It is only open during the day and I think during the week.

Grub Crawl - Thornton Park: Raw and Juice'd

I went to these two health conscious establishments yesterday because the one I wanted to cross off the list is now dinner only. I was down there to waste time before the Russell Athletic Bowl. I didn't go. It was too damn hot. Plus they wouldn't sell tickets to the upper bowl and the seats they wanted $67 for had no backs and were in the end zone. I really can't think of another stadium that closes off the cheap seats entirely. I wonder why their games are almost always empty. Way to lose out on all that non-ticket revenue geniuses. Looks great on TV too when you see an empty stadium. Really promotes the reputation of the city.

Raw - This place is next to Graffiti Junction down E. Washington. It's cookie cutter. However, I did learn two things by eating there. One. You can make a decent "chicken salad" wrap out of chick peas. Two. I now know why the MBA's at the cable, phone, theater, etc companies (basically any company losing market share) choose to soak their existing customers as their business model. They all are little twits whose parents eat at these places and shop at Whole Foods. They are conditioned to believe that you must fleece to survive. And of course rationalize it that morally this is more justifiable than some other "invented" injustice - like eating animals or income inequality of the owner. In this case, the fleecing was less obvious in the wrap. It was only $7. That's fair. What isn't fair is the prices for anything liquid. I'm not seven, so, I no longer need a disguised milkshake. It doesn't affect me. I just sick of people shelling out money they then bitch they don't have enough of on this crap. The wrap had raw, red onion and cranberries in it. It was fat. Service was good. They also refuse to print a receipt. How noble. You saved a tree, so, you can smoke it instead. The food isn't the only thing raw. So is the hypocrisy/inconsistency. They have been there for two years. Does that count as sustainable?

Juice'd - Here is another superfluous juice bar in a bar where at least three other superfluous establishments have already crashed and burned (on N. Summerlin near the 7-11). They don't have food though. It's liquid refreshment. Even more baby friendly baby food for adult babies. I bought a tasteless iced tea for about $2.50. That was by far the cheapest thing and I think most things were cheaper than Raw. I don't think they changed a thing from the crepe place that was here. I walked by here on Halloween and it wasn't here. They have been open some time in between then and now.

This N' That Eats, Antiques District

I grabbed an iced coffee at this small cafe where The Alpine used to be yesterday. It has a new owner. It's still just sandwiches and salads and coffee. The space inside was finally realized. I'm not sure if that happened while it was Alpine or not. The guy seemed to care - made his own chips. The coffee mad me sick (probably from the ice - CF swamp water). He served it in a regular to go cup and the coffee started tasting of it.

Baoery, Thornton Park - Closed

I had dinner at this Pan Asian restaurant where City Fish used to be on Saturday. It's next to Shari Sushi. I'm not sure if the holiday factored into the lack of execution or if there is a larger problem, but, my main complaint was how long and in what order they delivered the food. Most items on the menu are simple, "knock out" dishes and the ones I ordered really only required assembly or a quick oil bath. I had an order of Dragons Edamame (pan sauteed in sesame oil and chilis and served in the shell) and some pork and shrimp dumplings cooked similarly and a pork belly bao (Jade Emperor). I had already sipped through a full glass of wine when they finally delivered something. The place was not that full. It was the largest of the dishes (the bao) and probably should have been designated the main course. It cost $8. You received two of the them. One was lean. One was fatty. It came with cucumbers and kim chi and cilantro. The buns were a little flat/dense. For those who don't know, baos are served on a steamed flour/sugar bun. They can suffer from poor execution in the same way a baked roll can. These were sub par. The pork was ok. The flavor was ok. You'd probably do better at an average Chinese restaurant. They also only have four choices. Not acceptable if you are going to represent yourself as the "Baoery". I do applaud them for jumping on a trend that is only a decade old though. No one else around here is even that hip. The edamame were great. A simple idea that I think I saw done in California. They should create a menu of these and rename the place Ed-ery. They cost $5. A big bowl. They came out twenty minutes after the bao. With them came the dumplings. I guess I should of anticipated that they would be fried and not steamed - Chinese vibe. But they also had so many Japanese (Ramen) and Korean (Kim Chi, bulgogi), etc dishes I mentally misprepared my stomach. There were 4 of them. They cost $7. They were ok. I would also like to do a class action or injunction against all restaurants that list these as having shrimp in them. If they do, it is not enough. If they do it is a paste. If they do, it is a waste. You only taste pork. It had a nice slaw on the side. I would have ordered more, but, they kind of lost interest in me (and everyone who entered after 9 pm). The place looks cute. The middle is almost all bar. This is kind of a waste if the staff is going to mentally check out at 9. A bar that big and the snack like menu makes me think they would like it be more of a bar (ie late night) than a restaurant, But who am I? They have some kind of crate thing over the bar. One wall has a giant Buddha (from close up) mural. The ceilings are black. The walls are some shade of red. The tables/chairs are black (new). They have a patio. The wine list was not full of the same mass produced wines that stifle customers at most places. The craft beer and sake choices also had some depth and obscureness. Service was polite. I would guess that the problems had more to do with some overwhelmed Napoleon in the kitchen than with the wait staff. If they can get their act together it will be a fine, casual place. I think they have been open for around a month.

Car Insurance Tutorial

This is a brief summary of a quick exercise that saved me 25% off my already low car insurance. I also received lower deductibles and full coverage. I had dropped comprehensive coverage on my old policy to try and keep my outlay the same. They just kept proving the maxim that insurance companies will soak you if they think you are too lazy to shop around. I pay for six months at a time.

I started with Geico. They had blown my old policy out of the water about ten years ago. That rate was negotiated by block heads (or crooks on the take) at my old job (company car). My rates at Geico have steadily climbed. I would call and ask for discounts for driving under 3k miles in year, etc. Commercials and articles always say you get a discount for that. They never budged. Always said I was at the low point already. When I called this time and threatened to drop them, they just laughed and gave me some BS about having a low rate already and fraud in Southern Florida and their policy of not raising your rates after accident #1. Guess who seems to be paying for that policy and Warren Buffett's (the champion of the working man) greed. Good drivers like us.

So, I did the bare minimum and went to the Progressive site and filled out a simple questionnaire. They didn't even ask for alot of personal info and seemed to have most of my car's info in their data banks. They came back with three quotes for different levels of coverage (including an apples to apples one). It was less. I tinkered with some of the categories to get a better plan. They put most of their cost into the Bodily Injury category (the biggest potential liability anyway). Geico splits the charges up over all six or so categories. At Progressive it's only a couple of bucks to change/improve almost every coverage. Geico charges more. Progressive also let's you type in what you will/can pay and then the software makes you a policy. I upped my Each Person or Occurrence by 100k and Property Damage doubled without cost.

I don't know how difficult they will be to deal with if I make a claim. I assume all insurance companies are reluctant to pay anyway. Anybody see About Schmidt? The one issue I had was that they didn't take Amex, so, I lost out on the points and the float. Small price to pay. And greedy Geico has now lost a sure thing who is about to buy a new car that will need a policy. An additional one. You go Flo.

*5/23/2016 - The jerk offs raised my next bill 25%. Back to Geico price. Flo is about to get dumped. Looks like she is a pumpkin after all. Teaser rate con.

Zona Fresca, Winter Park - Closed

I grabbed an assortment of items at this Mexican mini- chain (South Florida and NY/NJ) next to TR's on Monday. It's on Lee Rd and 17-92. It is the most West Coast like experience of the the options we have in CF. The closest to that are Del Taco (only because they are a West Coast chain and not because they represent that cooking) and La Salsa (their menu has become increasingly generic). I had pozole (soup) for $4 and a machaca (shredded beef) soft taco (usually eaten in a burrito - especially if you were my roommate and it was three am and the term roach coach didn't alarm you) for $3 and chicken taquitos for $5. The pozole was way too salty. Even diluting it with water failed to help. A nice amount of maize and chicken though. The beef was good in the taco. I think it is stewed with peppers. The amount of two Chipotle barbacoa tacos (unless you are gay or pierced or enjoy food born illness - then they give you more). They added crumbles of what was supposed to be anejo cheese. The taquitos usually come with rice and beans. I asked to have them without and they charged me for three side taquitos. That also seemed to dq the sour cream and gauc, so, they were bland. Had to employ some emergency hummus. The menu also has more Southern Californicated regulars like fish tacos and shrimp, and noplales (cactus). I would have tried the fish tacos, but, I can't resist taquitos. They remind of when I would come home from my internship at a talent agency and grabbed a guac smothered batch from the local Mexican place called Carmel's. This place will never rival the "shacks" or food trucks of Southern California. But, it's the most similar that you will find in the area. I'm not saying this style is better. It took me years to accept any kind of seafood in a taco instead of the "authentic" packet seasoned ground beef tacos in hard shells with cheddar cheese. However, now you can sample and pervert your palette. And they have the usual suspects for the wimps. The place is big. High ceilings. Pastel colors. Pricing is ok. They have seating. It's clean. They have a salsa bar (Tip - if they have pickled carrots it is legit) that was slightly stale. The owner appears to have spent some time in SoCal. It's authentic, yet of the times. Oh yeah, they threw two bags of not bad chips. They have been open for two months.

TR's Fire Grill, Winter Park - Closed

I had lunch at this offshoot of Tony Roma's on Monday. I had fried chicken with mashed potatoes for $8. The chicken was a breast/wing section and was double fried. I'm not sure if they set out to do that way, but, it was crisp. I question their intent because it seemed like this may have been a case of refrying yesterday's yard bird over doing twice within the hour. I cite this concern over the dryness of the meat. That aside, the portion was nice and the quality of the bird seemed good. It wasn't a juiced out Franken-bird or a caustic Creature From the Brine Lagoon. The crunchy skin had a nice hint of agave syrup. The potatoes were real. Chunks in the mash. The texture was glue like and the flavor was a bit off. They were obviously overworked and I think the cream in the recipe went bad. It had a sour taste that I can't blame on the chicken gravy. Once again, I hope this isn't evidence of using stale ingredients or failing to discard unsold meals. The dish also came with some barely pickled pickles.

The menu is small. It is one of those three column menus that "finer" dining gastro pubs adore. The dinner menu is pretty similar to the lunch. It has some chops and steaks. The prices on both are good. The steaks get a little expensive, but, the rest of the menu only reaches the teens. I do have a problem with a $3 soda. Think of the injustice of being charged $3 for half a cent of chemicals when some idiot raised a chicken and grew potatoes and another idiot picked and packed them so another idiot could ship them to another idiot that distributed them to another idiot to cook them (to a genius who ate them). A 3 to 8 ratio hardly seems fair.

The decor is nice. It (like the rest of the place) is straight out of the "emulation" playbook and charged with exuding warmth. You are greeted by a fake fireplace behind the hostess stand. A show case of their best wines on your left. The room is wood on wood. Fake wood floor tiles and wood around the walls. The chairs and tables are wood. Different tones of wood. They have a bar area for the sports guys (filled with Scotch, etc) and a chef's table "bar" for the food nerds (although you pretty much just see salads getting tossed (unprison wise). The room has different eye levels. Booths then high tops then tables then more booths. The room has flow and privacy at the same time. They even have a little, curtained off private room. They have patio dining with a fountain view. They accent the place to seem "artisinal". Things like herbs in pots with their names hand written on them and the de rigeur iron chandelier with old timey, factory bulbs. It's almost too perfect. A kind of Stepford restaurant. Although, I didn't see the original (movie) and barely paid attention to the Matthew Broderick/Nicole Kidman one, so, I'm not sure if that is a good analogy.

Here's another bad one. The longer I stayed there, the more Coughlin's assessment of young Flanagan's bar concept in Cocktail ran through my head - "So, you are going to bring the corner bar to every suburban shopping mall in America. Complete with it's own surly bartender and local drunk". There is nothing wrong with this place. It just may be too perfect. Too de-constructed and re-constructed. I do have an antipathy towards commoditization. I guess because I can't then say mine is better. I have to acknowledge though, that the people who are deploying these restaurants (ie Firebids) are getting damn close to imitating the real thing. An accomplishment that the first gen like Chili's, Applebee's and even Tony Roma's, fail to do. I once had an argument over chocolate chip cookies with some nitwits. I said that I thought a machine should potion out the exact same amount of chips in each cookie. They liked the idea of chance. Now putting aside the reality that these "extra chip expecting positivists"  would bitch until the end of days if they got shorted a single chip, I think I am guilty of the same logic here. I'm consistently inconsistent. I should like the reliable, repeatable experiences. I guess I just don't appreciate that they try and trick you into thinking they are a one off (ie putting owners and chefs names on the menu). However, I understand why they do it.

So, that is a long way to go for you to hear that it was a good value. It could be a nice switch from the cafe like Coop (similar menu). It's next to the Miller's Ale House (in the fail column) on 17-92 and Lee Rd. It has been open for two months. Service was good. They make everyone dress in unis. It seats about a hundred. Parking is no problem. Just get the food right next time.

Lechonera El Jibarito #2, Orlando

I went to this new place (1 week) on 436 and 50 on Wednesday on my way back from the airport. Had some nice abalone, non-frozen King Crab (still sucks), hake, salmon in Chile, but whiffed on locating some red sea squirts and eel broth. Actually located them at the Mercado Central but was out of time and money by that point. Back to business. This is a Puerto Rican joint. An outpost of a place in Kissemmee (still can't spell it). My tum tum was still jet lagged and it was a surprisingly hot 87 degrees, so, I just grabbed a half pound of roasted pork for later, It cost $4.50 ($9/lb). It was great! I went to 4 Rivers later and I think I'd choose this in a taste off. Even versus their brisket. They gave me (I think) a sampling of the animal. A chop, a rib, some belly, some skin, and a tenderloin slice. That melange would have been welcomed enough just for the diversity, however, did I say it was great? Buttery, porky goodness. Not overcooked yet crisp. Different hues of meat and types of fat. If you like that.  I'll bet you can specify which part you want if your Spanish is better than mine. I'll try next time. Maybe it's not the best idea to have people who only speak one language on the front lines? You'd think that since it is a "territory" that they would learn a little English. Especially if they had aspirations to say - move to America! I wonder if we send them money for public education? Anyway. The place was pretty packed for 1pm and being so new. Mostly expats. Some gringos. It must have a following. The guy in front of me said he knew of the one in Kissammee (maybe that's correct. Hannukah and Kaddaffi are easier to sound out!). He must have liked it well enough to come here. They have a ridiculously cheap roasted chicken special ($4) during the week. It comes with sides. The menu is small enough to ensure quality. Mofongos, the usual crazy vegetables, baked stuff, desserts, rice, beans, etc. They serve platters. I saw some in the usual clan shell containers and then three sizes of "buckets" on top of the counter. I'm not sure what is for what. They sell meat by the pound. No sandwiches (less something called a El Jibarito). They gave me a slice of baguette with the meat. You can see they roast a whole pig. Some were chillin' at the counter (behind glass). It's in the spot that I think was a High Tide Harry's and then some Turkish place. You can't miss the color scheme. Puerto Rican flag painted on the roof. I thought it would be gross inside. It wasn't. Actually cute. I mean it was probably first a fast food place so there is only so much you can do. They added some folksy, stained wood tables that seem hand crafted. They painted. They walled off the back of the restaurant and added a screened patio with a fountain. It was clean. They were nice. I'm going back for the chicken, a second round of Miss Piggy and a whole lot more once they translate the half of the menu I didn't recognize.

A&D Buffalo's, West Colonial Dr

I went to this place on 50 (in a strip mall near the Police HQ) after the football game on Saturday. They brag that they have the "best wings and cheese steaks in town", so, I had to get a combo with both. It cost $8. 4 wings and a CS. I was ready to write 'Ahh no and ahh no" (regarding their being the best) before I tried them. Not bad. And even more impressive when you see the old Mexican restaurant they are located in and the part of town (and crowd). They also serve burgers, gyros, fish, shrimp and fried rice. All cost $8 if paired with wings. Business was pretty brisk. I'm not sure why you would HAVE to go here, but, it wouldn't kill you if you did. I've been driving past this place for years and I always say I'll see if it is the "best". Now you know.

2015 FHSAA Football Finals, Citrus Bowl

I went to the first weekend of the high school football finals on Saturday because I'm going out of town this week. I saw the 3A finals at 1pm. It was the "hired help" from Trinity Christian (Jacksonville) versus slightly less of the "hired help" of American Heritage (Delray). I know what you are going to say. These boys aren't brought in to provide entertainment for their white overlords. They just happen to be good at sports also and it's all about opportunities for the "under-privileged". And I would say you are absolutely right. This gives the regular students parents the opportunity to pay for two students so their kid won't get hurt actually getting in the game.

I think Delray has had some ballers in the past, but, they got smoked 30-3. TC had five guys over 300 lbs and one guy at 389! Plus Delmar's OC had the mind of a checker player. It took him forever to call a play and they were usually bad. They said the attendance was 1800. Half of that. I really hate when they lie. And such a pathetic lie. Ooh. 1800! What a showing! I thought 900 was good, but, 1800 gets me moist.  Most of the attendees were the parents of the hired help. So that shows how buying a championship energizes the community. Onward Christian soldiers!

They are also still dicks about roping off areas. You used to be able to sit anywhere. Not anymore. They even made the first row a reserved area that no one used. Probably because no one was told you could purchase this option. Tickets are $12 and they take cards now. Parking is still a rip at $10. They have four more games next weekend. You won't hear about them. I think I'm the whole marketing plan.

Yamasan, Mills Ave

I had lunch at this new (twelve days) Japanese restaurant on Mills near Virginia on Saturday. I was going to try someplace downtown, but, those jagoffs had it closed off for another of their pointless events. I had a two roll lunch special because I wasn't mentally prepared for Japanese food and the prices were a bit high. This is pretty much the only raw fish special that is competitively priced and it's above average at $10. I had a salmon and avocado and spicy yellowtail roll. The salmon was better because it had fewer scraps that require a spicy sauce to conceal. They were fine. Long, cigar shaped rolls of eight pieces. It came with a tasty miso soup with fried tofu "cracklings" and a salad. Nice bowl. The plate the salad was served on was ice cold. I'd guess it was a remnant from last night's service or they prep these by the boat load in advance. Not good either way. It was mixed greens instead of just iceberg. That was a plus. Some of the leaves had moldy, brown, wet patches though. That was a minus.

 I could write more about the sushi - acceptable rice, but, the real story here is the menu. If they can do what they set out to do then this place will be special. Their menu is a compendium of Japanese cooking techniques with some curious risks. They do all of the following: tempura (agemono), udon and soba (menrui), hibachi, rice (gohan-mono), tiradito, poke, stone grilling (ishiyaki), shabu shabu and sukiyaki (nabemono), kaiseki and individual dishes with special techniques. They have "odd" ingredients like sea snails, foie gras, monkfish liver, truffles, etc. They do tartare ala Nobu or Morimoto. I was told they were cutting back the menu already, so, don't blame me if this list is misleading. The place is in front of the now defunct Segafreddo. I swear Orlando's restaurant scene is one giant game of Jenga. One place has to close to allow another to open. The interior is as disjointed as the menu. They have:  rough stone tile walls near black tile accents, white and black chairs with white ceiling and black floor, white booths, yellow faux marble sushi bar, bamboo light shades, blue lighting through yellow faux marble, wood, plaster mountain on the wall etc. It's like they ran out of material a number of times or the interior decorator wanted a show room to display every design concept available. They also are a little different with their choice of potables. They go heavy on wine. It's not a bad selection of low to medium priced bottles (or should be - I didn't check the prices). Not the usual suspects. Service was nice and they seemed to be busting my waitress' balls, so, that may indicate an ethos of expectation that serves the customer well. I'd suggest you try this place when you are more in the mood for the non-sushi items. You can get a sushi lunch special anywhere. Come here when you are ready for some serious action. And I hope they will deliver. Ohh, I have to mention some cute misspellings on the menu - flute (fluke), poiver (au poivre) and slamon. Maybe the salmon is slammin', but, I get credit for the name if it becomes a thing. And Yama means mountain. Ain't no yama high enough...

Maru Sushi and Grill, Sanford

I had lunch at this mostly Japanese restaurant at the back corner of the Seminole mall (behind the Ale House near Books A Million) today. They fancy themselves a medium high level experience judging by the prices. I settled on the $12 sushi lunch special and prayed the 6 pieces of nigiri (and California roll) wouldn't be slop. I asked the waitress what it would likely be and she couldn't be bothered to ask the guy making it (in an empty restaurant) who was two feet away what it would be. Instead she acted (or just was) dumb. My apprehension was misplaced. I got the obligatory tuna, salmon and shrimp. They were the low lights. Flossy, tail meat tuna. Fatless, rubbery salmon that looked like the decorative samples they put out at certain places. I've never seen such a piece of salmon. I can't imagine what part they took it from. The shrimp was the same stuff everyone sources. The other three pieces were - yellowtail, albacore and fluke. I think it was fluke because it was so white, but, it seemed too soft. Maybe a tank fish like tilapia (except it would have bands of color). Anyway, they were all fresh and good. The rice was a bit fluffy. The packing of it was a wee loose and had "tails" that fell off when you dipped. The miso looked cool with bits of seaweed that looked like diced scallion. The taste was bland. The salad was swimming in dressing and water. They also have a few, Korean, udon and teryaki and fried Japanese "all star" dishes. A few "extras" on the generic sushi selection. Your usual overpriced rolls. The takeout menu says the nigiri ranges from $6 to $8. I thought I saw alot of that stuff at a dollar more on my menu. And therein lies the dilemma. Is it worth an extra fifty percent over the value competition? I'm not sure. The "experience" isn't as compelling as an Amura (which is also a medium high) and quality isn't up to a Rangetsu, Dragonfly or Sushi Lola let alone a Hanamizuki. If they dropped their prices a bit, I might be more energetic in recommending them. However, they have survived in no man's land with no marketing of publicity for three years (I never heard of them - just stumbled on them). People did eventually come in while I was there. They were cocky/rude enough not to seem desperate. I guess you will have to judge for yourselves. The place seats about sixty. It's clean. They have a more than basic selection of soft booze. They have other lunch specials ($10-$15). Closed on Sunday. $2.50 for a can of Coke.

Grub Crawl - Altamonte Springs: Yummy House and Lin Garden

I stopped at these two Chinese restaurants on 436 just south of the mall yesterday afternoon. The first is in a strip mall behind a BK. The other is in a diagonally adjacent strip mall next to the hospital with a Duffy's and a Too Jays. It was a yin and yang experience.

Yummy House - They took over the Pearl or Eastern Pearl of whatever it was called six months ago. They seem to be the shit on the Gulf Coast if you believe the pub they cite. I found it to be very good. In line with that pub. And if it means anything, I used to really like the old place and I think they may be a smidgen better. I had salt and pepper shrimp for $10 and a lunch special of basil scallops and shrimp in black bean sauce for $9. The first dish was on the appetizer list. I can only guess because it didn't come with a side. You can see it cost more than an entree, but, it deserved to. Fifteen shrimp of good quality. I didn't love that they came deep fried in batter, but, it was tasty. I've usually had them stir fried in the shell (often butterflied) so you can see the coarse sea salt and black pepper. Their way is ok. They piled fried garlic and scallions and a few slivers of jalapeno on top. The batter on some of the shrimp was not cooked through. The entree was less generous. Three shrimp (same quality) and three scallops (fresh). They made up for the lack of stars with a large supporting cast of mushrooms, asparagus and sauce plus two piles of rice. They also refilled the soda that came with the entree. The menu is huge. No dim sum or dumplings though. They have clay pot dishes. I almost tried a fried chicken with walnuts and a cream sauce. My gag reflex won out over my curiosity. Plus I just watched an Owen Wilson movie set in Thailand and it put me in the mood for something that sounded Thai-ish. Prices are all over the place and some don't make sense ($7 for a grouper lunch special and more for most soups?), but, it's isn't unfair. You can really make out if you order correctly. I don't think they did a thing to the inside. It's clean inside and had a respectable crowd. Service was pleasant and efficient. I was apprehensive when I saw that the signage (really hard to see) had changed. I also realized how long I had neglected that place. I didn't need to worry. It is in even better hands. Even if they won't do shrimp dumplings. I hope to make my return before another ownership change.

Lin Garden - I may even have reviewed this place before. I thought it was ok as far as take out Chinese place go. The Szechuan Chicken I had made me rethink that good opinion. It took way too long. The chicken was that pounded out crap that looks like thick chicken skin. It might as well have been chicken with broccoli for all the taste the sauce had. And no heat. The fried rice was ok. Plentiful. It came with soup or soda at $6. I had the wonton soup. It was ok. It looks like every other take out place and has the same exact menu.