Garp & Fuss, Winter Park

I tried this new American place for dinner on Friday. It is in that arcade near the Tiffany glass museum. I believe it was Park Bistro before this. They opened (late) in January and I remember thinking that I'd hate the place. First we have the name. I hate all "&" places. Next, the menu sounded pub grubby. Lastly, it meant that I had to snake my way through those Winter Park streets and find parking just to confirm my suspicions. I was mostly right. All three worries were right, Since the first and last are beyond their control (kinda), I will concentrate on the menu. It's just derivative and juvenile. Half of it is sandwiches and flat breads. Then they knock you out with a salad section. Followed by finger foods. Oh boy! Sandwiches for dinner! The only part of the menu that requires big boy pants is the "Fork & Knife" section. Another &! It is 6 deep. I had the "Schnitz" for $18. Fried chicken cutlet, arugula salad, mustard and a unwelcome fried egg. Side bar - I love eggs, but, I still don't get why they are being put on everything nowadays. Is it to be an ice cream topping next? Needless to say, it didn't do anything complimentary to the dish. The chicken was ok. It can always be moister and thinner. They panko'd it. It came out pretty fast to be cooked to order. Plus it was very un-oily. Usually a good thing, but, here a sign that it was in a warming station. Salad was fresh enough. Plating was ok. What wasn't ok was the service. I was left out in the cold for much of the meal. I had to ask for the check and no refills on a $3 soda in 3/4 of a glass of ice. The dopey owners were glad handing customers. They also ignored me. The hostess was the only competent one. Back to the menu. The other slightly interesting dishes are a Kung Pao Salmon and Clams & Bacon. Another &! The other entrees are ribs. How can they do that well? Two pastas. And A hanger steak. With fried egg of course. They didn't do alot that I could see with the interior. Maybe new tables. Makes you wonder what took so long. Maybe the kitchen was a mess? It seats 40 in the front room. The same in the back. Ten or more at the bar. It was a third full.  I think they do lunch now. I tried this place three times before this night. One time they missed the published launch date. One time Google said they were open and they weren't. Another time they said they were doing lunch and they weren't. That didn't help the review. But, not by alot. I thought the menu was too unambitious and that hasn't changed. I thought that the execution would be sloppy from people who could only imagine such a menu. It was. I thought the service would be unprofessional by the way they missed their deadline to open. It was. It's probably run by a bunch of first time business owners. It comes off that way. I've seen this story too many times in WP. This is an area with alot of competition (talented). I've seen better products surrender to the pressure. I expect that I will have to experience another re-imagining in this spot before too long. And do I have to say it - "I don't see what all the FUSS is about".

Donut Central, Winter Park

I grabbed a few donuts to go on Friday. It is behind the gas station at the corner of 436 and Aloma. I had a Snickers donut and Andes Mint donut. Both were $1.79. The Snickers was a bit tough and dry. The Snickers pieces were overwhelmed by the regular chocolate icing. The mint was better. Softer and fresher. Who knew mint is a good icing. They also do regular donuts and more substantial ones. It's alot of ice cream toppings on donuts. The place has been open for four months. Some coffee place named Sleeping Tree or something was there before. These guys also serve coffee. They have a roaster. Between the annoying kids from the high school nearby who congregate around the shop and the proliferation of donut shops and the staffs emo-Millenial lack of interpersonal skills, I wouldn't bother popping in. Parking is also limited.

Taco Rio, Orlando

I grabbed some lunch to go at this Mexican joint on 436 in between 408 and Curry Ford on Friday. I had the lunch special for $5 and a carnitas taco for $2. Both were ok. The pork was a little sweet. Not very crispy. They did double wrap it though. I had it Mexican style. The special was a chicken thigh, rice and refried beans. I was worried when I saw that they yanked a pre-cooked thigh from a prep area and threw it on the grill. I didn't get sick, so, I guess it wasn't too old. The meat was acceptable. As were the sides. They threw in two taquitos because the guy said that was the special and that is why I ordered it. He said four taquitos special. In any event, they were ok. Same worry as the chicken. Grabbed from the prep area and heated in the grill (not in a fryer). There were also some shredded lettuce and cukes and cheese added to the haul. No guac or sour cream or salsa. Needless to say, I didn't love seeing the reheating portion of the prep. Therefore, I can't recommend. Plus the strip mall and general area the operate in isn't the safest. They did seem to have a few people waiting for them to open (11 am). Maybe just because they live close by? The owners (a couple) were nice. The place has a sit down area. The menu is Mexico city style. It is pretty basic. The most annoying Mexican hip hop was blaring from the tv. They have been open for nine months.

BBB Tofu House, West Colonial Dr

I tried this newish (September) Korean restaurant after Grills about a week and a half ago. It is inside that shopping area (back middle) on West Colonial (5140) that I call Chinatown. I grabbed a Dduk Mandu Guk to go because we all know and love it. It cost $12. Actually, I had never tried it and had tried many of the other dishes you'd find in any Korean place. That was actually a surprise because I thought it was just a hot pot or vegan place. The Dduk turned out to be 12 medium sized steamed wontons filled with ground pork in chicken stock with some rice cakes and tofu. The "wontons" were ok. The tofu was great. I'd guess it was home made. Very fresh. Very loose. Nothing like the usual stuff we are force fed. Stuff that I see on TV cooking shows. They also threw in some bonchon. Kim chi. Bean Sprouts. Spicy burdock root (I think). Leafy greens (I won't guess). Rice noodles. Fish cakes. White rice. It was good enough to tempt me back. And I ate it six hours after they made it. The place is small. It sits about 40. It was a little late for lunch when I got there. There were still a couple of tables of Koreans there. The place is colored mostly light gray. They have some Korean images blown up on the hall to the bath rooms. Nice people. The BBB stands for Bao Bao Bao (sp?). It's word play for three types of bao. Good luck. Good food. Or something along those lines. Are you down with BBB? You know me!

Grills Lakeside, College Park

I tried this new (January) seafood deck and tiki bar on OBT about a week and a half ago. There are two others (Cape Canaveral and Melbourne). This one is on a lake north of College Park. I had a shrimp cuban for $13. Funny. My take home menu said $11. They forgot the pork. I told the waitress because I wanted to make sure I had read the menu correctly. She apologized and grabbed a manager who took the mistake away and came back immediately with a fresh one. That's customer service. It turned out to be unnecessary because the pork was non-discernible. It was a few slices of very dry and lean loin. Shrimp is similar, so, it just melded. It didn't compliment or enhance. Maybe some pulled pork would be more effective. I don't know. I'm just riffing. The shrimp was a good size. Cut into pieces. It came with chips and a pickle. The rest of the menu is typical seaside dining with a little effort thrown in. I usually am bored with this kind of place (just order something fresh and unadulterated), but, they at least make an effort to impress you. They have three types of chowders. 5 kebabs. 10 sandwiches. 7 "non-fin" plates (ie yardbird, steak, ribs). 9 seafood plates (ie snow crab clusters, Florida lobster, bacon wrapped scallops). 5 salads. 12 "nibblers". 3 burgers. 2 vegetarian dishes, 1 taco. 1 wrap. 2 sushi rolls. 1 poke. 2 seared tuna dishes. The most expensive thing (Surf and Turf) is $29. Most of the plates are under $20. Most sandwiches are under $11. They claim to get everything fresh. Something called file fish was one of the "fresh ones" that day. I still wonder if they meant tile fish, but, I think they said it was like snapper. Service was good. Mostly young girls. The place is huge and new. It's very "wood" focused. High ceilings. They hang an air boat and canoe inside. They have an outside bar with a playground. They have an enclosed patio. Also large. They have a tie up dock. Bring your sea plane. It must seat 100+. Huge, new parking lot. Water fountains out front. It was crowded. A politician would have loved to have their cross cultural and socio-economic appeal. It's nice enough and casual enough for all occasions. Better than most of the places in Daytona, Cocoa Beach and New Smyrna Beach. Better than any lakeside place in CF. And who would believe that you could pretty up OBT? Worth a trip if only to see the possible renaissance of a neighborhood.

Choulala, Winter Park - Moved to Park Ave

I grabbed three chou on my way home on Saturday. They list a place on Park Ave on their lit, but, I stopped at the place on 436 (north of Aloma). I forget when they opened. It can't have been too long ago. They make these little, round, custard stuffed pastries called chou. They taste like eclairs. They are the size of a golf ball. They were brought to France by Catherine de Medici. Choulalala offers twenty four "icings". I had three. Dark Chocolate. Milk Chocolate. Chesnut. I think the fillings were all the same. A brown custard. Probably chocolate based. I ate them too fast to tell. They cost $3 a pop. They were tasty. They push you to sample. I declined. They said it was part of the business model. I'm not sure if they limit you to one, but, that can be considered when you evaluate the cost. The owner says he had a shop in Del Rey. He's ours now. They also serve gelato and coffees. It's a nice change from the macaroon onslaught. If I was more of a sweets guy I would be a regular. I still will be an "occasional". They open at ten am and close at six pm. Also great as gifts. See how long it takes you to "get" the name.

Uncle Julio's, I Drive

I had lunch at this "aspiring" Mexican restaurant under the shadow of the Ferris wheel last Saturday. By "aspiring" I mean they aspire to be high end. And like most "aspire-ers", they have the veneer but not the grace. I forget if it is a chain or not. It might as well be. Let me ask you. If you pay $16 for a salad, should you get more than 4 ounces of tuna and fresh greens? If you answered yes you can skip (or since Blogger does it chronologically - you can re-read) to the next post. I knew a salad was pushing it in a Mexican restaurant, but, I was hung over and had two forms of Mexican the day before. The tuna sounded nice and nonthreatening. As did the avocado. The tuna was without "dental floss'. That was good. Also not embarrassingly pale. But, there was just too little of it in the end. Same with avocado. They even chintzed on the dressing. One ramekin. And I told you that the mixed greens were wilted. My buddy had three lifeless tacos for around $13. These guys opened in July. It looks nice. It's big. They have a guac station. The menu is expansive. The service is fine. The food just isn't "fussed" over. It's a grind it out sort of place. Or at least our meal was. You can "do" at least the same if not better at a number of other places.

Grub Crawl - Disney Springs: Maria & Enzo's Ristorante and The Edison

I tried these new places across from STK last Friday night. The quality of the review will be impacted by the open bar I attended to earlier in the night.

Maria & Enzo's - The place looks great. It recreates the look of an airport from the Golden Age of aviation. Think Pan Am. Howard Hughes. Indiana Jones. Now the dimensions are off. The "waiting room" would never be a sunken, open dining room the size of a small arena. But, the iconography is there. As is a separate pizzeria/cafe (why is a cafeteria called that? Coffee +?) and a cellar dining room. The last one didn't carry out the "airport" design. It was modeled after one of those wine cellars that often get turned into trattorias. We showed up really late. Around 11pm. And in flip flops and shorts. They still seated us. The hostess station is a boarding gate. We were the only ones in the whole place. My buddy just had calamari because he ate at an open bar that we were at before we made it here. It was $16. It was ok. I just had something called Ncasciata for $23. Uncle Google says it's Sicilian. It was basically a lasagna. It was ok. Served in a metal cooking apparatus. I hazily recollect that the menu was small. 4 or 5 entrees. I think my dish was the cheapest. I don't recall any problems with the service. I think they might have been Italian even. At least some of them. And that's all I have to say about that. I wish we hadn't been so tardy to the party. But, that wasn't my doing. We had to wait for the office function (really just the auction results) to transpire. I popped in earlier in the day to peruse and was impressed. If the food is anywhere near as good as the interior design then they will have a great one two punch. If not, you probably can't lose at the pizzeria. They are run by the people who run the Morimoto Asia spot. I applaud the resources they must have expended bringing this place to life. It's hard to recreate without insulting the original. I don't think they have. And that's not the tequila, wine and beer talking.

The Edison - This place is right next door and also just opened. It's "thing" is steam punk. Think The Time Machine. The book by HG Wells or the movie with simian Brad Pitt - Guy Pearce. It looks like a 1800's power plant. A large gear works replica greets you when you enter. The hostess station is on the right. Then you descend steps that lead to various bar areas. We settled on the lowest level because that is where the floor show (and most of the sparse crowd) was. The entertainment is now free, but, I think I read that they are going to charge $10 (after 10pm) at some point. The whole place is "differentingly" impressive from M & E. You also get transported being here. They also spared no expense. The liquor selection is on display and it's pretty impressive. The menu was small and uninspiring. And expensive. I'd do what we did. Go for drinks and maybe the entertainment. My biggest fear for them is that Disney killed all the adult fun from this area when the closed Pleasure Island. We LEFT at midnight because it was empty. If they don't try harder to provide a better culinary product, I fear they won't survive. The bar crowd isn't there.

Cafe Rio, Winter Park - Closed

Ok I'll tell you about my primary destination on Friday. even though I missing out on some exhilarating women's speed skating by doing so. Plus I want to brag about my ski trip to Utah. I saw this place driving down North Orlando Ave about a month ago. I said "Great another mediocre (I used another term) Mexican place I have to suffer through". However, when I was in Utah, I saw that this place is a Utah (original is in St George) fast food chain. So, at worst it won't cost much. If I hadn't already stopped at Tamale Co, I would have gone for the burrito meal. Ninety percent of their menu is composed of five Mexican staples (ie quesadilla) served with rice and beans. I already had a full lunch awaiting me. I went with two tacos ala carte. Even that was too much. These guys are big. They serve them in a soft tortilla that they make right in front of you. They had salmon in Utah. Not here. Just pork, beef, chicken and vegan. I settled on barbacoa pork and roasted beef. Both were flavorless. The beef came in a cloying sweet sauce that isn't appropriate for Mexican food. Another mistake centered on the cheese. They melt it into the tortilla. There is no contrast. It's soft warm cheese on a soft warm tortilla. I want cold cheese. For texture and contrast. You can also get pico, lettuce and sour cream for free. The pico was gutless. No zing. I tried adding bottled hot sauce from my purse. Hah! Caught you. I don't have a purse or yell in movie theaters. They provide. That just made it worse. The tacos cost $3.50. The tortillas were a little thick and buttery for my taste. The place was packed. I think they opened in July. It has a fast food look. You move along an assembly line. They said they are opening up a dozen or so in the area soon. Most meals cost $10. The same as Chipotle. I'll go back for a smothered burrito. That can be "all hot and mushy" in my mind for some reason. I like their approach to a ubiquitous dining option. I even think these recipes are how they do Mexican in Utah. I've had a few Mexican meals (ie Red Iguana) in Utah and they had "weird" sauce toppings on the menu. It's worth a trip to see them make tortillas. I wonder if the name will confuse people. Will they think it's Brazilian? Will people say "I got Dia-rio"?

Tamale Co, Altamonte Springs - Moved

I stopped here looking to knock out a new bacon place (Sugar Sow) one my way to my primary destination. This was at lunch on Friday. I found this. The "here" in question is that sketchy Citgo station aside the train tracks on 436. The "this" is a brick and mortar outpost of the titled food truck. I sacked up and ordered a real meal for you people. I had the mole tamales (also for you people and because it is called Tamale Co) with rice and beans for $11. They give you two tamales. I think a single was $7 or $9. You can't avoid the rice and beans. They were pretty good. A little too fluffy and white corn for me. I like a denser (lard) tamale made of yellow corn. The filling was shredded chicken. It was a bit dry. Fairly liberal portion. The sauce was pretty good. A dark mole. A bit too much burnt flavor for me. The rice (orange) was moist and fluffy. A tiny scoop. The black beans were soft and creamy. I usually want to throw the rice and beans away, but, these were not just cheap filler. The tamales were served atop the corn husk they were steamed in. They also serve breakfast items, tacos, sincronizadas, nacho style fries and a surprising list of other items. The pricing is food truck ambitious. I think a taco was $3.50. The place is closet small. No indoor seating. This place has been a host of things and they usually put a counter between you and the kitchen. These guys threw up a wall. So, the place is half as big as it ever was. They decorated it artistically. It looks cute. The food came out fast. It seemed to be a destination already. Two groups of young urban professionals (foodie types) book ended my order. They were not there by accident. They sought this place out. Which is promising because they have been there for only one month and there is precious little signage attracting you from the street. I'd guess they get updates from the food truck's social media accounts. I almost went back on Saturday. I chose to give 4 Rivers another chance. Big mistake.

*That Sugar Sow place was emptied out and had a notice from the inspectors office citing violations. I'm not sure if they ever opened (the citation was dated that day) or if they did and were immediately shut down. They were supposed to open this month. Like I said, the place looked cleaned out. I'm not sure if they came or are coming back.

Pizzeria Roberti, East Curry Ford Rd Area - Closed

I tried this NY Style pizza parlor at dinner last week. It is in a strip mall behind a gas station that is at the intersection of Curry Ford Rd and South Chickasaw Trail. I grabbed a regular pie to go for $13. It was good. A bit too Americanized (mostly because of the cheese), but, better than most. The base was thin. The crust was restrained. The chew was good. No bubbles. The cheese was distributed evenly. The sauce was a bit salty. The pie was large. The owner/chef told me he uses a flour (not double zero) from some manufacturer that I can't remember. It was a good sign that he knew. He said he uses San Marzzano tomatoes for the sauce. I would guess he uses canned SMs. I would have preferred that he left them as is. No seasoning. I would also have liked a better quality of cheese. And maybe a little basil and olive oil. However, that is more of a European style. I think pizza is all the do. They had a few interesting combos/riffs. However they started approaching the $20 mark. They sell slices at under $3. I was going to go that route, but, I figured I owed it to you to try a fresh pie. The place is small. it seats about a dozen. It is new. It looks trendy enough. The chef/owner is a young kid from suburban Queens. His last name is Roberti. The place has been open for around seven months. It's the sort of pizza that I think most people would really enjoy. My shuttle driver at the airport did. I couldn't eat it all myself. I tried. They are closed on Sunday and Monday.

*There is also a little gastro pub in this mall.

Grub Crawl - College Park: Zeytin, Tornatore's (Closed/Moving) and Mee Thai

I was in the area for a supposed birthday celebration at a local bar (the only reason I'd be there), but, one should never trust pot heads. Therefore, I ended up trying these places instead. The first is on Edgewater Dr between Lee Rd and College Park. The next is a little closer to CP. The last is on Lee Rd (ex Colombian place) in between Edgewater and I-4 (the obstacle course).

Zeytin Turkish Cuisine - The guy/girl at Orlando Weekly put them on a best list. I have some standards. It stunk. The wine was spoiled. The lamb was overcooked. The menu was cliche. The neighborhood is bad. The venue is unappealing. The main problem is probably lack of staff. The food took a while to come out. There were only thirty or so (40 max) people at dinner (their only service). I would wager that one guy (Zeytin?) is cooking everything. Not only can't he keep up (people were complaining about the wait), he can't oversee his own dishes. My Lamb Beyti (some kind of enchillada-like minced lamb kebab wrap that I've never heard of) was way over cooked. Not much flavor. Only one kebab at $18. I've never had less than three kebabs at this price point. It came with mushy rice and a bowl of raw onion and a bowl of tomato and cucumber salad. That must be the trade off. The rest of the menu is a too typical mix of cold sides/apps and skewered options. They offer one fish (the very Turkish salmon) that I overheard was AWOL. The decor is just hookahs and plates and rugs nailed to the wall. It still has the yellow paint job from the last place (Woodys?). There is a lame fish tank in the corner. Everyone gets a view of the kitchen/staging area. There was little reason to seek this place out (especially for dinner) other than good food at good prices. It has neither. The guy/girl at the Weekly has an Arab sounding name. Now either he/she is a total "homer" graded on a curve or he/she has got special attention or he/she has no business recommending restaurants. This is not the first dog he/she has approved of. Skip. Not even good if adjusted for the type of cuisine it is.

Tornatore's Cafe and Pizzeria - I grabbed a medium pie to go after being stiffed by my "buddies". I didn't want to have to come back to this area for a while, so, I tried anything that seemed undone. I believe I ignored it when it was Cafe Positano (because I had been to others). The partners split and they renamed it this. Apparently, they were on Restaurant Impossible with the 'roid monster and terrible talk show host Robert Irvine (who probably has a small penis because of his over sized corpus and Asian wife). Whatever they did (you see the interior design redo - wood paneling, paint job and salad tongs on the wall), didn't stick. The pizza was bad. Cheap cheese. Very salty. Almost no sauce. The sauce was salty and garlic-y. Uneven topping distribution. Too much crust. Bubbles. Too chewy. Slightly under cooked. No surprise. I watched them bake it in a basic steel box. They moved it around once. And that was once more than most of the other pizzas they made. They have been there for 8 years (3 under this name). The locals who came in seemed to like it. I'd bet that that is less of a certification than an indictment of their sophistication. Maybe another meal would be good. A rigatoni alla massimo sounded nice. The menu looked ok. It is a little expensive though. The medium pizza cost $10. A full Chicken Parm sandwich (most sandwiches) cost $11. I don't see a second seating in my future. Hard to be worse than Cafe Positano. Mission Possible.

Mee Thai - Somehow this bad smelling basic Thai restaurant ended up crafting the best meal of night. I had your basic Red Chicken Curry with rice to go at $11. It was very sweet and not hot (or very red) at medium. The chicken was fresh and white and plentiful. Zucchini, carrots, basil and peppers rounded out the components. The rice was mushy. It really was no different than any other Thai place in town. Same prices. Same dishes. But, the neighborhood stinks and the place is ugly. I mentioned the smell? I don't see them surviving. Too expensive for the 'hood. Too drab to attract outsiders. A shame because the kitchen isn't the issue. They have been open for three months. People seemed nice. They say that the are "the best Esan Thai food". I searched it and there are some "Esan" Thai restaurants but no Esan regions. There is a Isan language near Laos. Now I'm missing something or this is one of the most wonderful ESL mistakes (Asian?) that I've come across on a menu. Maybe they should work for the local news? I saw a "Pheonix" spelling two nights ago.

*I do have to compliment the Weekly for the list they compiled of restaurants that are opening in 2018. Great work.

Grub Crawl - Winter Park: Sausage Shack (Closed), CFS Coffee and The Glass Knife

I tried these three spots yesterday at lunch. The first two are on New England Ave in Hannibal Square and the last is on South Orlando Ave in between Lee rd and Fairbanks.

Sausage Shack - I had a cotton candy dog (you heard right) for $6. It was a smoked polish kielbasa atop of a plume of home spun cotton candy (blue or pink) and a bun. They added sweet hot mustard for flavor. It was the most inventive hot dog recipe I have ever had. It looked remarkable. The sausage was great. The cotton candy was a bit obtrusive, but, fun. I'm not sure it complemented the dog that much. The bun didn't hold up. But who cares? It was a hot dog with cotton candy! Talk about "a beautiful mind". They serve five other dogs (bangers and mash, choripan, donut, chicago style and chicken and waffles), salads and sandwiches.  Those are more traditional (except for a jack fruit sandwich). You can also build your own. Hot dogs range from $6-$9. Salads are $6. Sandwiches are $9. They also have sides (mashed potatoes and gravy, chili, potato salad, chips and fruit salad). Plus desserts and breakfast items. It's located in that kiosk (of death) near Pepe's. The owners are two English guys. It appears that they cook much of the menu to order. They don't just assemble. They have been open for six weeks. I just wrote in the "favorites" post that we needed a hot dog joint or two. Wish granted. If I lived in the neighborhood I would eat here once a week. Will be on the Favorites list for 2018 (if they last). Can't wait to see what they dream up next.

CFS Coffee - It is down the street from Sausage Shack. They have been there for two years. It is a little coffee shop with some desserts and snacks. I had a coffee for $2.30 and a pandebono (Colombian cheese roll) for $2.50. Both were fresh.

The Glass Knife - I had lunch and some sweets to go here. They have a small menu (soup, club sandwich, two or three salads - I'd like to try the salmon nicoise). I had the egg salad sandwich on a multi-grain croissant for $9. It came with some home made sweet pickles and terra chips. It was ok. First multi-grain croissant. The egg salad was over mayo'd and seemed liked it was made with those "eggs" in a tube. The vegetables toppings weren't fresh. I also grabbed a pistachio tea cake for $5 and a birthday cake for $48. The latter looked great. It had a red glaze that looked like melted wax. It was streaked with white and topped with fresh berries. The inside was a complicated assortment of levels. There was some kind of hard jelly and a lemon meringue and some yellow cake and other elements. It made an impression on the party at the party. Their sweets are what they seem to be about. They had twinkies and donuts and ring dings and cookies - etcetera etcetera, They have a patio dining area and inside dining room. The inside is composed of one nook, four banquettes and a communal tables. You order at the counter and they serve. They have a surprising amount of staff. Dressed up. Cute. The color motif is black and gold. They have white marble floors. They sell wine and other knick knacks. They have been open for two months. I was the only dude there. It's near the Burger King or Rocco's. It's the only location. It's worth a visit. They need to shower the same attention on the lunch items for it to be a "favorite". But close.

2017 Favorites List

It wasn't a banner year at the Bender household. It wasn't hard to cull the herd. Some made it strictly on food. Some on value. Some on holistic grounds. Some on attitude. Some would have been on if they didn't blow a second visit. I didn't really try too many really expensive places. A few of the $$$ could cost you $$$$ if you order foolishly. But, that is on you. The one thing I did notice is that there is still a real lack of good Chinese (especially Dim Sum) and hot dog joints. Pizza and taco and gyro (and lately poke) places seem to be soaking up all the oxygen.

$$$$ - None

$$$ - Slate, Luke's Kitchen and Bar, Mesa 21, Millenia 106 (closed)

$$ - Cavera, Taste of Peru, Daytona Pig Stand, The Waterfront, Joyful Garden, Gyu-Kaku, Barnwood BBQ (Eustis), Smokehouse on 46

$ - The Gourmet Muffin, Oh My Gyro, Wondermade

Four Rebels Kitchen & Bar, Mills Ave - Closed

I had dinner at this new (two month) eclectic taco bar on Saturday. It is is in the old Segafreddo location in the marketplace on Mills that abuts Virginia. Next to Brass Tap. It is what you'd expect from a played out genre. Now we are past the "authentic" phase and into the "gimmick" phase. They are trying to concoct "funky" taco combinations. The problem is that anything really creative probably would be a step to far for most customers. I would suggest (since they seem to be aping white trash culture) squirrel or frogs leg or gator or turducken tacos. But who (besides me) would be interested in trying that kind of cousin lovin' fare? More than once? What they do have is a little dull. They lead with a cheeseburger taco that isn't ground beef but cheeseburger pieces. I didn't try it because it sounds kind of stupid. I did force myself to try a KFT Taco for $4. It was a combo of fried chicken, mashed potatoes and cole slaw. I liked it. The chicken (slice of white meat) was moist and well crisped. The slaw was good. The mash was a little lost. The taco was huge. But, this was the safest one. And I like weird. Will others? I also had two things from the appetizer part of the menu. A pretty good BLT Tostada for $6 and a plate of meatballs for $6. Once again, both portion sizes were large. The tostada was more like a huarache. They piled four and a half slabs of pork belly on it. The belly was overcooked for a gourmet, but, most people would probably prefer that it not be as soft and fatty. I think they deep fried theirs. It was a little dry and very crisp. A little too manhandled to rate as a triumph from a culinary perspective. But, I'd eat it like a dog eats pig's ears all day long. The meatballs were the worst of the three. Three medium size meatballs that were a bit too much on the Italian side for a purported taco bar. They had alot of bread crumb in the recipe and they fried them Italian style. They were served in a red sauce. It didn't help that they served all three dishes at once on a wintery might when they had the doors and walls open. All the dishes got cold quickly. The meatballs suffered the most. Though I did grab a bite of each once they were set down and still hot. The rest of menu was pretty forgettable since it appears I can't really remember anything from it other than nachos and an out of place beef short rib. I would have ordered that, but, I felt I owed it to you to try the taco type stuff since the place says it is a taco kitchen.

They didn't do much to the bones of the place. They changed the iconography and the murals. Now we have murals of American historical figures. Although, they do the whole "every group gets a shout out" cultural/historical equivalency PC thing. The roof deck is still open. They still have a bar downstairs. They have those tailgating games outside, It seats about ninety. It was about one quarter full. Service was polite.

I like how they are attacking an over saturated market, but, I don't see why they felt the need to. Are there no other lands to conquer? Why is humanity always fighting over the same turf. Go out and chart a new course. Or wait until the other combatants have cleared the field. There really was no need for another taco joint. It's hardly rebellious to follow the crowd. More like stupid. Maybe it should have benn called Four Rebos (I can't remember why, but, I remember they used to call retards rebos in my elementary school)?

*A little side question: why does Kirstin Delgado sound like she learned to speak at the Trisha Takanawa (Family Guy) School of Elocution? I swear a producer scolded her once for speaking to Hispanicly and this is her passive aggressive response. A bunch of girls speak this way on that news channel. I wonder if the producer is some old timer that thinks this is how news people should talk? Can some one at the station pull an "WNBC"-like insurrection at some point?

Norman's, Ritz Carlton Grande Lakes - Moved to Dr Phillips

I tried this "new world cuisine" restaurant last Saturday night. It was thirteen years in the making. When I first moved down permanently, I asked a service worker what the best restaurant in town was. She said Norman's. I've made frustrated attempts in the past to dine here. I've rewritten its name on every iteration of my "to try" lists. It has been a thorn in my side. It's in nowheresville. It's hard to find. There is no direct exit off ramp moving west. Getting back east on I4 is a circuitous affair. They don't serve lunch. Roads are always under construction around it. It just never happened. And now it has. And I kind of wish it hadn't.

The food was prepared properly. The service was impeccable. The setting is fairly nice. The ingredients are top notch. It's Norman that is the problem. His menu stinks. You's have to be a Psycho (or mother of) to enjoy it. There's not much of it and what there is of it is over crafted and poorly conceived. Usually the executive chef sets out an exciting blueprint and the kitchen screws it up. This is one of the rare cases where the opposite is true. And it is surprising because I liked his 1921 concept. I'll be more specific in the next paragraph, but, it doesn't help that his "thing" is Caribbean cuisine. Where is that fine dining? You can't "fuse" it enough. It is too bold. Too simplistic. And the "traditional" half of the twenty or so item menu is boring by hotel restaurant standards (ie filet mignon, waygu, chicken, pork). The special was wreckfish. Which is just stone bass. There is also a tapas section. Tapas are played. And kind of a third wheel.

I settled one three starters because I didn't really want anything on the menu. It was either ridiculously overpriced (like a $50+ filet) or didn't do anything for me. The $90+ tasting menu was little more than the same dishes and a dessert at the same price as if you ordered them ala carte. I started with half portion of foie gras (1) on a "french toasted" brioche atop caramel sauce for $15. The brioche fell apart. The dish was sooo cloyingly sweet. Brioche AND caramel? Why no powdered sugar? The slippery "whole" liver nearly slid off. Maybe that is why they need the caramel sauce? You couldn't taste the liver at all. It was mushy liver on mushy bread on mushy sauce. Sweet on sweet. Is he the only chef that hasn't heard of levels of flavor and contrast? Never mind complimentary flavor. I believe the liver was a duck liver (not goose) by the size. There were other forgettable components to the dish (and the others). Remember I said these dishes are over crafted. The second dish was another cavity inducer. A  $18 conch chowder. I think he meant conch gelato. Think of the sweetest she crab soup and double it. It tasted like a milkshake. It was nicely presented in a bowl full of vegetables that the waiter poured the liquid into from a kettle. But the conch was FRIED and dry and did nothing for me. Less than nothing. It annoyed me. Who doesn't know that fried items become mushy when exposed to liquid? Who wants mush? The last dish was the best. It was a 2 scallop dish ($18) atop Anson Mills grits with tomato. The grits were phenomenal. More like what he does at 1921. The scallops were topped with annotta seed dust (aka achiote) and seared perfectly. This simple little riff (scallops for shrimp) is all he has to do. How about a stone crab chowder like I just had in The Keys?

As I said the service was great. Everybody is dressed to the nines and their "section" consists of only four or five tables. They could have been slightly more present. I don't know why they disappeared when they did. There was a little conflict on when they were ready for me and when I was ready for them. In general I think a wait staff should recede after the table is seated and then be very present when the table has probably had time to make their decisions. Is anyone that prepared for questions as soon as they sit down? Does anyone need a drink order filled that fast? I think we want to settle and then we want attention after that. That said, they covered for each other. Plates didn't linger on the table. They spaced out the timing of the dishes. They took questions and made small talk. They gave space. They weren't too pushy with the recommendations or add ons.

The space is nice. Not memorable. Classic. Marble floors. You enter through a long hall. High (maybe too) ceilings. A circular layout. A sem-private room in the middle (surrounded by glass and wood wine storage cases). Windows along the exterior. Soft lighting. Maybe too soft to read the menu. I can't remember if there was music. The plates and cutlery were high end. The crowd was mixed. Probably many tourists. Dress was very casual. The wine list was good.

All in all, I wouldn't go back for a second turn. I live in Florida so the "Florida-ribbean" cuisine doesn't excite me as much as it might a tourist. I've had wreckfish TACOS in New Smyrna. Conch isn't an extravagance. I can get empanadas everywhere. And I hated most of the concoctions he constructed. I will say that I think he can do well. I like 1921 and that is experimental and over dreamed up. I guess there is more margin for error with Southern cuisine. And maybe even that home spun stuff "fuses" better than Caribbean? Plus it is less of a hassle to get to (even if it is in Mt Dora). I would say that you should skip it (because of price, menu and isolation) unless you are already staying at the Ritz.

Lemon Shark Poke, Dr Phillips Area - Closed

While down around Universal last Saturday, I was going to try and get dinner to go at a place called Boca Grill (or something). It looked like I should do it justice with a proper sit down experience, so, I switched gears and grabbed a snack at this place in the same marketplace. It is in that area at Sand Lake and Dr Phillips that has WOB and Morton's steakhouse. It (same owners) replaces a Mexican place that I reviewed a year ago. It is another passenger on the poke bandwagon. It seemed a little fresher than the one I reviewed near Red Bug Lake. They have eleven choices (ahi, spicy tuna, salmon, spicy salmon, miso glazed salmon, squid, tofu, shrimp, albacore, octopus, scallop). You then add some toppings and a sauce. $9 to $14. I only had a Spam Musubi ($3.55) because whatever I tried was going to have to wait until lunch the next day and I figured this was cheap and would hold up the best. I did try it the next day on my way to The Keys and it was good. The rice was dry (I tried some the day of and it was dry then too), but, it was easy to handle while driving. For those who don't know, a Musubi is like a big piece of sushi. Hawaiian places (even McDonald's) usually serve them. Spam isn't that terrible and a kick to order. They also made it fresh to order. The place also serves katsu. I just learned that katsu should be fried twice. Once at a high heat (to lock in or out whatever needs to be) and then longer at a lower heat. I doubt a place like this (or any place in town) does that. But, start annoying all katsu serving places with this bit of knowledge. For me? I have little else. They also have a few apps. and they have an ok craft beer selection and wine and sake. It's probably superior that that other one (Da Kine?). The place looks clean and modern and uncluttered. It is fast casual. I don't think it is a chain. They opened five months ago.

9 Spices Hot Pot, Universal Studios Area - Closed

I tried this Chinese hot pot (they say fondue) place on South Kirkman last Saturday at lunch. It charges a flat rate of $25 every day. It is all you can eat (in two hours). I was expecting this to be a cheap meal in a bowl place, but, challenge accepted. Though my stomach was not ready for battle (the flu shrunk it up), I still managed to down a pound of shrimp (7 plates of three to four 26-28 count shrimp), 5 plates of beef brisket, 2 plates of lamb brisket, 1 plate of tofu, 1 plate of enoki mushrooms and 1 plate of squid. They all come around via a conveyor belt. That makes two forms of entertainment with your meal. The shrimp seemed fresh and I had no intestinal issues after eating here. They were grey. I just learned that this color shrimp is a winter shrimp (thank you Chef and Farmer tv show). They cook fast. Watch that you don't spray hot innards liquid all over when you pop their cap. The beef brisket was way more fresh than I expected. Nice marbling too. Frozen and sliced paper thin. Addictive. The lamb was equally good and similarly prepared. The tofu was tofu. The enoki was fresh and served in a heap. The squid was the one failure. Fishy smelling and tasting. Although, it also did not cause intestinal issues. You choose one of six or so broths. I chose a spicy (to your level) chicken broth. I think they just squirted some sriracha in it. There is a heater on the table (actually four for four people). They come by and refill the broth when it gets low. They also have a sauce bar. I didn't see the need. The menu items are pervasive. I didn't try most. Some like the clams seemed too risky. The place seats about one hundred. Most of the crowd was Asian. The servers were Hispanic. The place is an old fast food restaurant. They have some cute murals. TVs. It still doesn't look high end though. The Halloween candy (and regular) buckets hanging from the ceiling don't help/ For leaks? Or just forgotten about? They have been open for ten months, They are off I-4 right before the hill after Vineland. Look for the McDonald's. $25 is a little steep if you aren't a glutton. I think other hot pot places charge $3 a plate. Make sure you can down eight plates. A can of soda was $1.50. I think they had sake and wine and beer. I would go again. Fresh-ish seafood, all you can eat, fondue cauldron, food zipping all around me. That equals a party. Just have to stretch out that stomach before my next encounter.

*Orlando Weekly called this area Metro West. I believe that area doesn't start until farther down Kirkman.

Grub Crawl - Winter Park: P is for Pie (Closed), Soho Juice Co. (Closed) and Kava Cove Lounge

The first spot is more accurately in Audubon Park. The second is on S.Orlando near Fairbanks. The third is on Fairbanks near Hunger Street Tacos. I tried them yesterday.

P is for Pie - P is for pathetic in that I'm pathetic for having missed out on them for the four years they have been in business. They sell pies and other goodies. I bought a Turducken savory hand pie for $7 and an Apple hand pie for $4.50. Both were great. Croissant like (a little harder) crust. Fresh filling. Well made. The Turducken had nice chunks of turkey and shredded chicken (not weeks old like New City Cafe) and possibly duck (it was hard to spot at the rate I was devouring it). There were also a few peas and a side of gravy. Mostly meat though. The apple pie had sugar melted into the crust. Very tasty. Smaller than the meat pie. They both even survived the ride home, a stint in the refrigerator and the microwave. Probably alot better fresh out of the oven. Any place that lets me celebrate the legacy of John Madden (feeds my soul) and feeds my hierarchy of needs is good by me. Even the to go boxed were quality. The place looks cute. It's near Sushi Lola and Redlight Redlight on Corrine. They had breakfast pies too.

Soho Juice Co. - Not Company. Co.! They started in Tampa. This is their only CF store. They opened in September. They sell overpriced juice (already packaged) and acai bowls. I didn't catch the price of the bowls, but, the beet juice was $10! Do I have to tell you what I think about that? The place looks like a White Castle. I was the only customer. Employee wasn't even at the counter, so, maybe I was the first for o while. The juice is in a big glass refrigerator section. There was one of those rental locks on the door. Maybe they're already going under?

Kava Cove Lounge - Another pointless psuedo-medicine (high) purveyor. I grabbed a small kombucha (citrus and ginger) to go for $5. It tasted like Fresca. The place is a stoner (or whatever they call kava and kombucha addicts) "bar". It has a pool table and and a bar top. Even a tap. The kombucha kept me up for most of the night. I'll stick with bars that serve fire water. They opened in April. It's in between a cake store and a massage parlor. Before 4 Rivers from I-4.

Kadence, Audubon Park

I tried this reservation only Japaneses omikase reboot of Kappo yesterday at lunch. It opened in October. I "snuck" into their "reservation only" Kappo once before, so, I thought I would give it a try here on such a cold day and it worked. I grabbed a seat at the second lunch seating. It began at a little after 1pm. I believe it cost around $55. They don't provide physical checks. I think my initial total was around $59. I believe that included a hot tea that was supposed to be a cold tea. The final total was $74 and if you work backwards the minimum 20% tip and 6% sales tax gets you back to a starting point around $60. Yelp says it is a twelve course tasting menu. I think it's ten sushi pieces and a soup and dessert (macha dusted chocolate truffle and yuzu cookie). Let's see if that is right. I had: a type of Jack (Skip?), Amber Jack, Horse Mackerel, Sea Trout, 2 Big Eye Tuna, Blue Crab, Striped Bass, Sea Urchin and Salmon. Plus a fish soup and a dessert plate. Seems right. Now we can quibble about the way they flavor the different fish (I prefer to have them as is), but, you can't complain about the quality. Everything is fresh as can be. It also doesn't hurt that the selection is a bit esoteric from what they offer in most sushi places in town. Now this play list isn't THAT unusually, but, you can see that it could become adventurous with the seasons. I can't remember every combinations, but, (I believe); the salmon had tobiko on it, the sea trout was heated and topped with a great garlic butter and walnut "sauce", the blue crab had salmon roe and dried sea weed on it. I can't remember the rest. Yuzu for sure on some. The main flaw was the rice. It was a bit too warm and a bit too mushy. But, it was weird. Half the grains were firmish and half seemed blown out. I'm not sure if it was an overcooking or over stirring issue. Maybe even and under stirring (residual heat/steam) issue. I only had a side bowl of rice at Kappo and I think that was cooked properly there. In any event, it forced me to compare it to Kappo. My larger sashimi meal there was around $40. And it also came with a soup and dessert. Now, $6 a piece ($60 divided by 10) isn't that outrageous for some of the delicacies (like uni), but, compared to the old place, it didn't quite measure up. Part of that is also out sized expectations and part is nostalgia. But, that is what the sequel has to deal with. I still like the Godfather better than Part Two even though it is thought to be inferior. The first iteration is always more fresh and exciting to me. You aren't ready for the trope. No matter how good the sequel is (Empire fans start squawking), you are always somewhat prepared for the experience..

I also didn't love that they are now using the most presumptuous "booking" application for reservations. I believe it is called Tock. It forces you to pay in advance for your meal. I know why restaurants love it and I realize that it is probably the future, but, it still challenges my manhood. Open Table and Resy (deposits) are bad enough. I would never use these apps. Thankfully, Kadence still allows you to "crash". They said they even keep an extra chair for Elijah. Just kidding. For a party crasher. And at least you probably won't be giving them a six month (if that is how far in advance you have to book) no interest loan like some places are getting. The 20% minimum gratuity is also a bit silly. The owners prepare the food. They are basically the only "staff". Just add it to the price of the meal if it isn't profitable enough for you. It really shouldn't be going to the one girl who brings in the drinks. That's not a twenty percent worthy contribution.

The place resides in the old Winter Park Brewery space across from Stardust Coffee. The public areas are all the way up front. There are two narrow rooms - the bar/waiting area on the right and the sushi counter on the left. The place is mostly modern and white on the inside. The outside was some kind of brown. They put the windows at foot to knee level for natural light and privacy reasons. They provide pillows for your back (wooden seats). You eat with your fingers (for the most part). The plate is slate. They have a little moist napkin in a bowl for clean up. They provide a glass of water. They encourage you to cleanse your palette with ginger after each piece.  Lunch takes place in over an hour. No dress code. The "core three" of Kappo are still gregarious and inspired. The meal is performance art. The atmosphere is intimate. They even solved the parking issue (never enough) by keeping the seatings at ten. They have a more substantial dinner service. They sell some of those fish filled rice triangles in the bar area. They have a funky half cold and half hot kappo meal on Sunday. They sell (via email) "leftovers" every Wednesday night. They are closed Tuesday and Wednesday. Wednesday is the prep day, so, I think that is why they do that "email sale" at that point. And I heard them chatting about "special" days. So, keep up with their social media accounts. *And it's social media accounts. Not "social media". It's not your "social media". It's your social media ACCOUNT! Learn grammar!

All in all, they are still very good. Whatever rice issue there was was probably a one time deal. I still would prefer to relive that $40 sashimi plate and the haphazard energy of the little food stall, but, we can't always get what we want. But. If you try sometimes. You get what you need.

*I just recalled that they also served a raw shrimp. I believe it was a sweet shrimp (amaebi)