Clancey's Cantina, New Smyrna Beach

I had lunch today at this Mexican restaurant on Flagler Ave. I had the Wild Bunch for $14. It was a chicken flauta, cheese enchilada, tamale and taco al carbon (steak). The flauta was thick, but, the tortilla tasted odd. It's like they fried it with all the other dishes they serve or the oil is old. The enchilada or tamale had beef on it. It gave me a sharp pain when I ingested it. I let it be. Probably rancid. The tamale's corn base was not cooked long enough. The taco was wildly salty. I didn't touch the beans and rice. The place sits about eighty. It was probably a surf bar that they switched to Mexican. The food took a while to come out. I guess you need a reminder of what 90% of the country thinks Mexican cooking tastes like every once in a while. I wouldn't go for the food. Who would have thought that a place called Clancey's couldn't cook Mexican food?

Grub Crawl - I Drive: Terra Cotta, BBQ Tonight and Marlowe's Tavern

I tried these places on I Drive on Saturday night. Terra Cotta is in the Premium Oulets. BBQ is in a strip mall on the corner of ID and Kirkman. Marlowe's is at Pointe Orlando.

Terra Cotta - I had a small pizza for $6. It was damn good for a place that said Red Brick Pizza on my receipt. I'm not sure if they took over for one or this is an upscale version, but, they have a brick pizza oven and though it's gas powered, it worked. The place is colorful and clean. They have TV's in the booths. They serve gelato and other hot foods. I bet it's better than the main Italian restaurant with the plastic menus that is across the parking lot.

BBQ Tonight - This is a Pakistani restaurant that also serves Indian and Chinese food. I had a Chicken Jalferezi dish for $9 and naan for $2. It was fine. A big helping of a chicken in a tomato and pepper ragout. I can't recall if I've ever had Pakastani food before, but, my limited take on it is that it is Indian food without the spices. Not really surprising. They are neighbors. And Muslims like to keep life bland. There was some confusion about whether or not I needed naan. I thought the girl said I needed it to scoop up the meal (eat with your fingers), but, they brought me silverware so maybe it's so customary that they couldn't see why anyone would not order some. The place is halal so no booze. The crowd was 90% sub-continent (black, straight hair) with a few Englishers thrown in. There was one black couple who probably saw the BBQ and misfired. Seeing all the head scarfs originally put me on edge, but, they couldn't have been nicer. Everyone spoke English. They have an extensive menu and everything was affordable. If you have eaten Indian and Middle Eastern food, you can expect similar dishes here. They have a lunch buffet and I think I read that they serve breakfast. The place is divided into into two sections. One looks like a deli and the other like a long hallway. They put the tables against the wall. The buffet area is in back. The decor looked like it was from a time when the place was an Italian place (with added Chinese wall art). It's a little run down. The place was 2/3rds full at 9pm. Indians and Paki's seem to eat late. This is good to know because alot of the places on I Drive seemed to have been winding down at this time. I don't recall hearing of any other Pakistani restaurants in town, so, I guess you have to try this if you want to stamp your food passport. I think you'll be glad you did.

Marlowe's Tavern - I was expecting something and received next to nothing. It's a chain from Georgia. The menu tries to be contemporary, but, it just shoe horns in some buzz words into your average pub menu. The place was closing/empty at 10pm. Hit the ignore button. If there was still doubt about if the shark has been jumped, you know it has when it has been co-opted by big business. Plus you get the benefit of having to pay and wait for parking.

*Side Note - I tried a new place called Hash A Go Go in the old Matteo's locale. They were such idiots about the seating (once again corporate a-holes - the bar is for drinks not food and it isn't the same experience) that I left and have given them a one year time out before I review their formulaic and stupid (Southern) endeavor. I doubt they will be around by then anyhow. And another time out goes to Santo's for being empty and closing at 9pm and not taking Amex.

Grub Crawl - Winter Park: Fresh (Closed) and Italio (Closed)

I sampled these two places for lunch on Saturday. Fresh is in Hannibal Square in the old Chez Vincent locale and Italio is on 17-92 near Fairbanks.

Fresh - If the shark has not already been jumped then this place is the point where I am exhausted by the self-satisfied, hippy-dippy, locally sourced food movement. You just buy from a different vendor. You aren't curing cancer. Nobody needs cucumber water. I hope a professional food service location doesn't buy from a supermarket. I had a She Got Seoul sandwich for $10. It's a beef sandwich with Korean flavors. They said the beef was tenderloin cut, but, it was kind of tough and flabby for that. Plus they also have a beef sandwich for $2 more on the menu and I doubt they would use the same cut and sell it at two prices. In any case, the meat ratio didn't equal the bread ratio. They need a much thinner (and fresher) roll. The meat was covered in a spicy terryaki sauce. I forget if Korean BBQ beef has terryaki, but, if it doesn't it shouldn't and this one had way too much terryaki. The kimchi in it was good. They served a side of recently pickled cucumber/carrot salad. It was good. The place has 12 tables for two (including those outside) and 8 counter seats. There were five others there at lunch time. The decor is minimalist. It reminded me of a Tapas bar. They serve wine (no soda). The menu had about 6 appetizers, 6 salads and 8 sandwiches. The prices were around the $10 mark. The dinner menu had a similar distribution. The sandwiches were replaced with entrees. They leveled out at a ludicrous $30 range. The service was fine, but, way too impressed by the mission statement. Again. Not curing cancer. My big mouth may have garnered my meal a little "special attention". I've had the squirts since then and I was getting way too many surreptitious little smirks while I ate. If you have seen some of the third world street food I've eaten, you would know I'm not terrified of your expectoration. I think the owners are/were caterers. I didn't hate the place, but, I'm not sure I needed it. Maybe it will get a LGBT following. It had that sort of vibe.

Italio - Imagine Chipotle. Now imagine they serve Italian food. That's exactly what it is - a Chipotle rip-off. It even looks like one. The menu is a carbon copy. Pick a pasta or wrap (piadino) or a salad. Pick a meat. Pick a sauce. Pick toppings. I had a side of fried calamari and peppers for $5. It was a bargain and fairly well prepared. The squid was obviously frozen, but, it could have been worse and it was atypical. The place seats around eighty. It was about a third full. Most meals were around $8. They are the second of a possible empire. This place is blatantly formulated to get VC money from Chipotle advocates. The original is in Boca. I will say that for all the transparent mimicry, it is the best attempt (non-pizza) at fast foodifying Italian that I've seen. Now someone just has to explain why they put pasta in their paidinos.

Grub Crawl - Longwood: Upper Crust Desserts, Kosher Kitchen (Closed), Island Sizzle and Bianco's Mona Lisa

I surveyed these places on Ronald Reagan Blvd on Thursday afternoon.

Upper Crust Desserts - I had a chocolate chip cookie and an oatmeal raisin cookie ($1.50 a piece) at this little shop on the road that goes past Lake Mary High School on the way to or from RR Blvd. It's next to the 7-11. The CC was full of Ghiradelli chocolate chunks. It was shaped like a muffin top or tiny scone. It was good. It may have sat for a few days (a little dry), so, the fresh ones must be really good. The OR was good as well. I believe the shop has been there for a little while, but, has just started selling to the public (no pre-orders required). They sell a variety of baked goods.

Kosher Kitchen - This place is off 434 near the tropical fish store. I believe it has opend fairly recently. They were out of almost everything. The owner said it was because of Passover (cleaned them out), but, that was a month ago. The things they were to have had seemed mostly like pre-cooked items that you take home and reheat. They also sell some packaged items from Israel. The decrepit look of the place and lack of inventory made me wonder if it is a front. A front for what, I can not imagine.

Island Sizzle - This Jamaican place is in a little strip mall next to Kosher Kitchen. I had a Jerk Pork meal for $8. It came with some sort of cabbage salad, rice and beans, sweet plantain and a little hush puppy. The hush puppy was sweet and seemed fresh. The cabbage salad was slightly vinegary. The rice and beans were savoury. The plaintain was soft. The pork was plentiful and just shy of uncomfortably spicy. There was a lot of pork. It was a little dry (overcooked), but, at least it wasn't fatty. There were about two little bits that were not eatable. The place is more of a takeout joint than a sit down establishment. I can't remember if they had any seats. One of the better Jamaican places I've tried around CF. They serve breakfast items too. They have a lot of authentic options. The menu is reasonably priced. They said they have been there a year.

Bianco's Mona Lisa - They are near that little nook of reconditioned buildings near where the train tracks cross RR Blvd. The restaurant has been there forever. I last went there when it was just Mona Lisa's. I'm not sure if adding the Bianco's several years ago indicates a change in ownership or some trademark altercation. In any event, it's what I remembered looking like and tasting like from before. I had a meatball parmigiana sandwich for $8. It was ok. The meatball was a little hamburger helper-y. They sliced two baseball sized meatballs into rings so it would flatten out in the roll. The tomato sauce and cheese was a little scarce. It also came with a side of cold pasta salad. It was ok. The tomatoes in it were rubbery (old) and the past was a little soggy. They also served some really good, home made garlic bread with the meal. It was probably the best thing. The rest of the menu was predictable. Pizza, pasta, chicken parm, etc. It is priced in that annoying zone of mid-quality Italian that I always rant about. The place seats about 80 in four separate rooms. It's an old house and each room was repurposed as a dining area. There were around 7 people (3 tables) eating there for lunch - all women. It's odd, but, they looked like they belonged there. I've often found that customers sometimes resemble the place they eat at. In this case, that means - a little frumpy. The service (1) was good and polite. The food came out quickly. It's cute little joint with a safe menu.

Club Crawl - Downtown: Harry Buffalo (Closed), Native, Rok Room, The Woods and Loft

I had drinks at these bars downtown on Saturday.

8-8:30pm: Harry Buffalo - They replaced Mojo's Cajun at the end of Church Street. Same exact layout. They now serve some bison burgers. The menu is Denny's like in look and substance. I bet it only gets people because it's the last place you see going to the game and the first place you see when you are coming out. It was semi-full. It seemed to be the first stop on some kind of fraternity scavenger hunt (they were all costumed up) or pre-rape...I mean formal. The rest of the crowd were just dudes watching sports.

8:30-9pm: Native - The new Mako's. Thank you for doing away with the hookers...I mean shot girls. The place looks great, but, has no theme. And they allow smoking. It's just a bar that looks nice.

9-9pm: Rok Room - I just took a peak inside because I had been in the spot before when it was called something else (Martini Lounge?). It looked the same. Some guy was stinking up the place with cigar smoke.

9pm-12am - The Woods - The time flew by at this relatively new bar above The Lodge (take the steps). It's owned by the same people. It's a place where they do mixology. If you knew how much I hate that word and what it stands for then you would shocked to hear that I loved this place. They have three bartenders making funky mixes. I had a Beet it Collins that has moonshine, St Germain, lemon juice, muddled beets, plum bitters and egg white. It was like a dare. It was worth the price to see it made. It tasted like tonic water and smelled like dog, but, what fun. Hilly billy juice and a concoction like my brother and I used to make on airline trips (out of the in flight meal liquids) when we were kids. It cost $11. I also had a beer for $5 and some absinthe for $10. The absinthe didn't do what the one I had in Latvia did, but, it did totally mellow me out. The place has a decent size front area. The rest is a little tight. It's bar and room to pass. They have a little area in the back. The decor is preppy chic. The crowd was pretty high end. A lot of dressed up people. It wasn't a dude fest. I think smoking was forbidden. It's my new favorite place. It was pretentious, but, didn't feel pretentious. Cool is cool when it's not forced. The one negative was that they played a little too much Motown on this particular night.

12-1am: Loft - A club above what now houses Urban Flats. It has a beautiful and sensible layout. The decor is sharp. The crowd is a little sketchy. The music was good. They separate the bars and VIP well. They have a patio area. It would be the best club if they could get the best people. Cover was $5.

Here's a quick list of defunct clubs - Bliss, Touch, the club that was across from Touch (now Urban Flats), Mako's, Antigua (thank god) and the club across from Gibson's Guitars (it now is called Tier and has a white audience now). I know there are other changes, but, that is what I remember.

Shakai, Downtown

I had dinner at this Japanese restaurant on South Orange Saturday night. It's in the spot where another (I forget the name) Japanese restaurant had been for years. I won't get too involved in my description because I hear they are moving around the corner to a spot on Pine and things may change. The sushi was bad. The rice was starchy (unwashed) and overcooked (mushy). The fish was badly cut, used pieces that should have been tossed out, was penuriously portioned and alternately dry (on things that should be moist) and soggy (on things that should be dry). I had conch and surf clam sushi. Both were $6. These were the dry ones. They had little taste and were cut very thin. 6 bucks is a dollar or more than usual. It also had a yellowtail and a salmon roll. Both were $7. They were the soggy ones. The rolls were cigar width. You could barely taste fish. Once again a dollar or two above average and in this case even the rice portion was below average in size. They have a Philippino and Korean preparing the meals. Maybe that is the problem. The interior design may be the best I've seen in a while. It's wood on wood. They have beautiful ornamentation created out of entwined branches throughout the restaurant. The service was good. The place was a little dirty (scratched tables and shmegma on the soy sauce bottles). Go for a drink. So you can suck in the decor.

Grub Crawl - Antiques District: Wolfies Pizzamia (Closed), Teal's Twisted Bliss and The Hideaway

I ate or drank at these spots on or off North Orange Ave Saturday night.

Wolfies Pizzamria - I had a pea soup to go for $3. They couldn't seat me at a table I wanted at 7pm, so after looking at the menu and the environs, I knew I should cut bait. The soup was awful. It tasted like lemons. The menu is over priced and under represented. If you go, go for pizza and hope it's good. A basic small was $15. Most things cost that much or more. The decor is something Macklemore and Ryan Lewis would sing about. The AC was inadequate (and it's only April). It seats about 35. It was a weird mix of retirees, mo's and noisy families. Pass.

Teal's Twisted Bliss - It's an ice cream shop run by stoners/hippies at the end of the row. I had a small cup of soft serve vanilla (possibly called a Flower Child) for $2.50. It was fine. They have some whimsical offerings like ice cream tacos and they serve some paninis. They also have hard ice cream and gelato. Like the woman in line behind me said, "there isn't any other soft serve place in the area".

The Hideaway - I had two sips of a $2 PBR here (on Virginia). It didn't meld well with the ice cream I had just eaten and the place was a cloud of smoke (inside and out) so I left. I don't get why you would want to expose yourself to toxins. It was a weird crowd of seemingly normal (if low class) people and homeless looking night crawlers. They had food, but, you have to have smoker's tongue to contemplate it. Parking is almost non-existent. Pass.

Eurydice, SSC

I saw this play by Sarah Ruhl on Friday night at 7:30 pm. It's a retelling of the Greek myth of Orpheus (his song wins his dead love's liberation) from Eurydice's perspective. The theme is now supposed to revolve around her relationship with her father as she replaces her love for him with that of her lover. It's not very poignant or thought provoking. It was probably chosen because the author is a woman and we have to have diversity or the earth will tilt on its axis. And since her most familiar play deals with masturbation, they settled on this. Old enough to beat the drum for a quasi-Electra story, but not old enough to handle a story about playing with your dingaling. Ah, campus politics. In any case, the run is over so you'll have to see it elsewhere. The acting was ok. The older actors were predictably better and more assertive. The young woman playing Eurydice seemed a little unsure and out of place among the adults. Her diction and presence was ok, but, she seemed like she was reciting lines instead of acting. Most of the actors seemed to be playing to the rafters (the audience was sparse), so, maybe they director wanted that kind of detached musing. The stagecraft was effective. They used some planks, an elevator door, string and some drapery to dress three locations (apartment, Earth and Hades). It was worth the $10, but, the impact was what one should expect when they shoehorn in inferior material under the guise of progress. 

Pub Crawl - Sand Lake: Miller's Field and Rocco's Tacos

I had a beer at each of these bars Saturday night. The first is in the complex that has Bravo on the corner and the other is in the one with the Publix.

8-8:30pm: Miller's Field - I am not sure if they have have anything to do with the Brewers or Miller's Ale House, but, it's your standard sports bar play. It's a little nicer and the menu is a little more interesting, but, you won't see anything you haven't seen before here. It seats about 100 and was 100% full. I'm not sure if it was lack of imagination (customers') or the NCAA tournament that packed the house. The crowd was pretty presentable. The work staff consisted of the higher end of the lower spectrum of society. I think they just opened in Winter Park too. Thank God. What this area really needed was a sports bar.

9:30-10pm: Rocco's Tacos - I hadn't been here yet because I was there when it was Samba Room and I've been going to the one in Palm Beach since it opened (about two or three years ago). I think I went to opening night. The place kept the Samba Room layout and added their distinctive tchochkes. The feel is Mexican voodoo. They use all that native art work (masks, stars, etc) to give it a sinister patina. You feel like you are on or in a Disney ride. It's fun. They also have a lake view. It's a great location. The guac is usually great (50 cals a chipful). It seats ALOT. It was 110% full at 9pm. It had it all - families, cougars, singles, human fanny packs - you know that thing when you hire a midget to grab you around the waist... I stole that last part from SNL. But, it was a hodge podge. A big draw. I'm not sure if it is conducive (limited mingling areas) to hooking up though. It's loud and hard to sidle up to a group at the bar(s).

BTW - Timpano's Chop House is torn down.

Raga, Sand Lake - Closed

I had dinner at this Indian restaurant (which means a "series of notes on which a melody is based") on Sand Lake Rd on Saturday. It is in what I believe was the old Antonio's space in the strip mall that has Moon Fish (so parking is a bitch). It's on the second floor. It may have the most ambitious/inspired menu of any of its competitors. The fact that the menu doesn't use a shot gun approach to achieve this designation is also laudable. It is a carefully constructed tour of south central Asia with a few day trips to the Mediterranean. I believe the chef's bio on the menu mentioned something about working in high end Arab Penisula hotels and developing a familiarity with the western dishes favored there. I had Raj Kachori from Rajasthan (the menu tells you from what region your dish comes from and even has a map) to start with. It cost $6. It (like many of the dishes on the menu) was something I had not seen before. It was what we know as a taco bowl (they call it a puffed wafer and I think it is poorly described on the menu because I wouldn't describe such a bowl as "puffed" and it did come with some kind of puffed Rice Crispy looking things but was not stuffed into them as the menu says) filled with sprouts, potato cubes, yogurt and chutney. I also had chick peas and walnuts in mine (not listed on the menu and maybe a lawsuit waiting to happen from a nut allergy victim). It also seemed to have some kind of puree had accumulated at the bottom, but, that may just have been an amalgamation of juices from the elements on top. It was very tasty. The one killer was that it was stone cold. It was obviously pre-prepared. I'm not sure if they do this for speed or to keep the yogurt solid, but, stop the practice. I (everyone) wants freshly prepared items. I don't need it in 30 seconds. I get enough assembly line food during the week. I don't want it on my night out. I then had Handi Lazeez from Bihar for $16. It was chicken cubes (different sizes and colors and tastes and textures so it was probably not adulterated, mass produced, saline injected corn) cooked with chilis, coriander and cardamom. I chose a medium heat. It came with basmati rice. The portions seemed small (I must be doing too much buffet dining at Indian restaurants) when they came, but, I can tell you I could have stopped half way through and been full. As it was, I left looking like Alfred Hitchcock. The flavors were good. Chili peppers were the dominant taste component and coloring agent. The rest of the menu (entrees) is broken down into kebabs, chicken, lamb, seafood and vegetarian. The meats are about half the choices. I'm not sure what they consider a kebab, but, it seems like they define it as anything grilled. The menu represents the whole region of India and Nepal, Afghanistan, Italy, Morocco, Thailand, Spain, France, Greece and Pakistan (I'm not sure about the last one). Prices are around $12-$14 for Veg and $16-$28 for Meat. They have a lunch menu that averages in the mid-teens. The menu is mostly different from the dinner menu. The place is nice. It aims for a modern, kitsch luxury. It has an Ian Schrager feel. The space is large and divided into four sections. There is a large (mostly unused) bar in between the main room and the entrance. The main room is separated by columns and group seating into two long, skinny areas. They have an enclosed patio outside of the main room. The main room seats about 80+ in total. The patio seats about 20. The place was about 80% full at 9pm and didn't let up. The mix was about 60-40 Indian to Other. Who knew Indians ate so late (for here). The decor was re-imagined Indian thrift store/antique dealer items. The two opposing walls were decorated with long, green, sofa-like, continuous seating that reminded me of an unhooked Burger King crown. The predominant color tone was white. They accent the ceiling (brick painted white) with black paint to give the illusion of shadows from the chandelier (clear plastic). The chairs were mostly white and basic. They throw in some high backed outliers here and there for contrast or fun. The table cloths were white over yellow. The kitchen is on view at the rear. The service (8ish) was great. They handle you as a unit. You aren't one on one with anyone. The person who takes your order does maintain a continuing relationship with you throughout the meal. You know who your main go to guy/girl is. They could answer questions. They were nicely and uniformly attired.

All in all, I was well pleased. They hit (at least partially) on all notes. The service was fast. The environment was trendy/comfortable. The menu had purpose. The food was good. The portions were generous. The pricing was affordable. It probably would be the number one seed in the Indian restaurant bracket for Central Florida if such a thing existed. My only complaints are: the scarcity of parking and the need to use the valet (I didn't even bother because I know better and parked across the street), the pre-prepared appetizer, the uninspired wine list (supermarket wine)and the noise. I could hear every word from every table near me. I suggest they glue noise dampening material under the tables. It hides the cure (which can be unsightly) and absorbs some of the reverberation. If I lived nearby I would return until I had tried the whole menu.

Urban Hibachi, Universal

I had dinner at this branch of a Japanese restaurant on S. Kirkman (near Metro West) on Friday. I had an ika (squid) salad for $5.50 and a salmon roll for $5.25 and an order (2) of salmon sushi and an order of yellowtail sushi. The fish was good. The yellowtail had a grey brown tone that I have never seen as distinctive as that. It also had the black band you look for if you want wild yellowtail. The portion sizes were good. The rice was bad. It wasn't fresh. It was over cooked and under scrubbed. The place seats about sixty. They have outdoor seating. The back of the small space has the sushi prep area and the hibachi area. The hibachi area is like one you would find at an Asian buffet. A guy stir fries the dish behind a glass partition. None of the theatrics of a Benihana and all the blight of a Jiffy Lube (the grease from the grill coats the area). The place was about half full at 7pm. The first wave put the urban in Urban Hibachi. They all ordered from the hibachi side of the menu. All of those dishes were over $10 at dinner time. They also have bento boxes ($10+), robatayaki aka skewers ($4+) and curried dishes ($9+). They serve sake and wine and beer. I was expecting more. It's best aspect is the breadth of preparations they offer. However, I only saw one Asian cooking in the place and I couldn't tell you if he was Japanese. I don't mean to insinuate that gaijin can't cook as well as natives, but, it is usually the rule rather than the exception. If it were a little cheaper I would recommend it, but, now it is stuck in the netherworld of full service pretensions and an assembly line ethos. The service was also a little inconsistent.

Grub Crawl - SOBT & Sand Lake: Little New Orleans and Thai City

I supplemented my dinner on Thursday night with some food at these two restaurants. One is on OBT south of the Florida Mall. The other is on Sand Lake aside the Florida Mall.

Little New Orleans - One of those Asian run crab and crayfish places in an urban area of town. I'm not sure if they were once black owned, but, they aren't anymore. This phenomenon occurs on Mills and W. Colonial and here (evidently). The crowd (five people) was about half black and white. Although it looked like the former was there because of the latter. The place looks like it might have been a Caribbean bar. It's not very Cajun. It has a narrow foot print that follows the bar. The bar takes up half the space. I had one pound of crawfish for $9. It was an extra $2 or $3 for fresh crawfish. I think they snuck a few frozen ones in there. It's not bright to attempt that because you can't help but notice the discrepancy. I believe the pricing was about they charge in the other areas (without the fresh designation and commensurate price inflation). They were ok. The service was good. It looks like one family (of 3 or 4) runs the place. I wouldn't be in a rush to find it, but, if you are in the neighborhood. They had oysters and fish and crabs. Most things were between $10 and $20.

Thai City - This place used to be across from a Mexican place up the street. Now it is in the old Sushi House (now on OBT) location. I had a Thai Beef Salad (saw them making it on America's Test Kitchen recently) for $12.50. They made it with celery and no mint or that crunchy topping. It was ok. I must confess that I stored it away until the next night. It was a little colder than it should be, so, I will be generous in the analysis. It wasn't the best I've ever had and it wasn't the worst. The place seats about eighty. It looks new. They carve out a second room with an open wall. The decor is appropriate to the culture. It was dead empty when I was there. I did think it was smart that they have a happy hour in between the lunch pricing and the dinner pricing. It runs from 3-6pm and costs $13. Lunch is $9.55 (for specials). They also claim to serve grouper and snapper. If they don't pull a bait and switch on those items, then I would go for that. They also serve duck. The menu has all the usual suspects plus more. I wouldn't go to far out of my way for it, but, it deserves better than to be empty at nine pm. I would go often if I lived in the neighborhood.

Mizu, Kissimmee

I had sushi Thursday night at this Japanese steakhouse south of Hunter's Creek. It's on the west side of John Young on W Osceola Parkway. It's near the Best Buy. This place is a bitch to find. Google Maps may route you to a street (Greenwald Way) that wraps around JYP. If you get on the wrong end of it, you may get frustrated that you can't find it. It's also inconvenient to access off I-4. I can't recommend that you try unless you live nearby. I had one order (two pieces) of yellowtail and conch for $5 and one order of salmon for $4. I also had a tuna kabashi for $7. The sushi was fresh. The servings were generous. The rice was properly prepared. The kabashi was not served on top of a bowl of rice. It was served on top of avocado and cucumber. It was a lighter version. The tuna was plentiful. The place seats about ten at the sushi bar and fifty in the first room. They have a hibachi area and it seats about eighty (possibly more). The hibachi area was full. The reservations were also at their limit. The first room was about three quarters empty. The upkeep could have been better. The sushi bar was a mess and took a while to be cleared. They had full busing crates right between the two rooms. There was also a lot of clutter and junk against the walls. The manager admitted they have trouble training and keeping staff. The decor was a little sparse. The bathrooms had the most flash. Good food. Good pricing. Popular place. A little neglected. A little out of the way. Be happy (if you live there) that this is the game in town. You could do worse.

Champion's Gate, Davenport

I played on the National and International courses on 1500 Master's Blvd on Thursday and Friday. They were both nice. They have a links course feel. I believe the price was around $80 for nine. They have the usual amenities. It's at exit 58 on I-4. Tee times were easy to get. I think since it so far south that it avoids crowding. It's near an Omni hotel.

Grub Crawl - Sodo: The Egg & I (Closed) and Carol's Place

I had breakfast and lunch to go at these two breakfast nooks on S. Orange (near Michigan) on Thursday.

The Egg & I - I had a meal that contained two eggs, bacon and two slices of french toast for $9. The eggs and bacon were good. the french toast was a little wet (undercooked). The place is a chain from Denver. It looks a little like a cross between Panera's and a Bob Evan's. It seats about eight. Around twenty people were there at 10am. There are two rooms. The prices were a little high. I didn't find anything especially superior about the place. Try any of the other breakfast places in your neighborhood in place of them. It's a crowded field and breakfast isn't that complicated. They also serve non-breakfast fare.

Carol's Place - A "real" luncheonette. It's your typical old school breakfast/lunch place. It closes at two pm. It seats about sixty. The decor is basic. The place is oldish. The service was quick. I had a tuna sandwich to go. It cost $6. They gave me alot of tuna. It was better than I was expecting. It was, however, made with that sweet type of mayo (Miracle Whip or Duke's?) that I disdain. This is the "Sowf", so, I shouldn't have been surprised. It came with chips. I suggest this place over The Egg. It has a similar menu and is about half the price. And it is a one off.

Grub Crawl - Sanford: Tutto Bene (Closed) and China Star

I had lunch at these two restaurants near Seminole Community College (to be called state you need a star on the flag) on 17-92 (aside the Publix) on Wednesday. I was expecting little and received less. Stay away from both. I feel sorrow if those students depend on these two places for sustenance. Certainly, our 13th graders deserve better.

Tutto Bene - I had two slices for $4.50. They were doughy, thick and tough. The cheese was the worst sort of cheap, industrial, oil based Frankencheese. It was salty too. There was hardly any sauce underneath. The slice were big. The service was nice. The place is half takeout/pizza oven/storage area and half cheezy old Italian trattoria. The prices were typically higher than quality or ambiance justify.

China Star - Could have been the worst take out Chinese I've ever had and I've been given food poisoning. I had Chicken, Beef and Shrimp for $6.35. The shrimp (2) were mushy/ancient. The beef was grisly. The chicken was from parts of the chicken that shouldn't be seen. My best guess is that it was wing meat pounded flat. They say everything tastes like chicken so you never know. I'm crossing my fingers that the gross veins and tendons I hard to pick around denote it was a poultry product. The sauce was awful. It may have been the saltiest thing I've every had (or Monica Lewinsky ever swallowed). The meats had a decomposed character to them because of something that was sticking to them. It was almost like they took a deep fried version and then wok fried them so the coating became soft. It came with wilted broccoli that couldn't be eaten because of the nausea induced by the meats and the saturation of the florets in that salty sludge. The fried rice was grey. I can't go on and you shouldn't either. You're some kind of sicko if you've read this far. A real degenerate if you were laughing.

Blu, Winter Park - Closed

I had lunch at this seafood restaurant on Park Ave on Monday. It is from the same folks (when did people become folks) who run 310. I guess it's the "surf" in a "surf and turf" double team. I had their clam chowder for $6 and their octopus salad for $6. I chose two appetizers because the prices were lofty ($20's and $30's) and they don't deign to offer a lunch menu and the sushi specialist didn't come to work. The chowder tasted like it had some fennel or anise flavored liquor in it. The chef denied it. Either I have cancer of the tongue or the clam juice was off or the pot was dirty, but, it tasted like I said. It's a brothy chowder. Not much dairy. There's a reason New England outsells Manhattan 10-1. Needless to say, I wouldn't order this again. The portion was small. It only tasted passably when you put the oyster crackers in it. Maybe that is the design? It was also described as having Quahogs (or a similar brand name clam) and some designer pork. There was so little of either that I wouldn't order it based on that promise. The octopus was equally bad. It was soft and slimy. Either it was just pulled out of a tank (and wasn't wiped) or it sat for a while. The portion, in all cases in which the dish is unwelcome, was large. It came with an arugula side salad. It had way too much seal salt on it. I also had a diet coke that also tasted funny. It cost $2.65. I think the place occupies the old Spice spot. It has a narrow floor plan. The interior work looked rushed. There area paint splotches on the walls. The base board was covered in boot marks or dirt (flood?). Etcetera. You find Waldo. They decorate it in a base of some odd grey tone with accents of blue. Certain areas are white. The tables were dark brown wood. The hardware and decoration are straight up Pottery Barn. There is a cute waterfall behind the bar, but, they put a goofy plastic mini-fish tank in front of it. It seats over eighty. They put in a dividing wall a quarter of the way inside. It separates the bar area from another set of tables. The table side is kind of cramped. It's an unfortunate layout with little window seating. I would sit on the patio/sidewalk. The service was the best component. They seem to have enough polite and competent people. The prices are about one third too high. It really isn't "perfect" enough too demand more. They have Park Avenue aspirations, but, Upper West Side sensibilities. It's about as good a seafood place (actually less good) as 310 is at what they do. If you think that competes (with even) the other restaurants on Park Ave, then give it a go. If not, then I suggest you consider an alternative or encourage the management to pick it up a notch. I think they said it has been open since January.

Toasted, Winter Park

I picked up a grilled cheese with arugula to go at this grilled cheese and burger spot on Tuesday. It cost $6. It was what I expected - a very buttered fat bomb. I forget the nickname they gave this offering or what cheese they used (a mix). It could have used some more arugula. However, it was a good and new combination for me. The place replaces a crepe restaurant in the strip mall on Aloma that houses a Whole Foods. It seats about 40 people inside on two seaters (two two seat hightops) and three outside tables. It's cramped. The left wall has a rubbery button facade in yellow. The right wall has a periodic table of cheese. I forget the exact color scheme, but, I think there was orange and blue and black too. The place is brand new. It looked like it was being run as a family affair. It was so "perfect" that it may be a chain. The burgers looked better than the grilled cheeses. There are about six of each. Not as much creativity as I was expecting. This is a specialty place. Like PB&J's, Cereal's and other nostalgic inspired themes, it focuses on a niche. It's fun. Who knows, maybe it will survive the curiosity faze. It was packed when I was there (all spectrums of society) at two. Lots of take out business too.

Bistro 436, Casselberry - Closed

I had lunch at this spot in a strip mall on 436 and Howell Branch Lane on Tuesday. I had the entree portion of Chicken Parmigiana for $10. It was more than I expected (didn't expect much to be honest). The chicken portion was huge. It wasn't over fried or greasy. It came on a bed of ziti (choose your pasta). They weren't overcooked. Both were covered in a well crafted tomato sauce. The cheese they used was of a good quality. They sprinkled some parmesan on for good effect. It also came with three garlic knots. They were a little over baked, but, I'm quibbling. I was stuffed like a pig by the end. The place looks thoroughly underwhelming from the outside and only improves slightly upon entering. It's pretty bare inside and the furniture clashes with the paint. The paint (four different, unnatural pastel tones in four different areas) is a little funky for the demur wood furniture. But, you aren't coming here for the ambiance. You are coming here for the food and the value. Nothing is over $12 (and that is a seafood entree). Sodas were $1.50 (take that Big Italy). They had a beer special for the same. The menu has: wings, shrimp, salads, subs, wraps, burgers, quesadillas, gyros, strombolis, calzones, pasta, scampi, chicken dishes, desserts and pizza. I was told the place started out as more of a trattoria, but, evolved into a bistro (still think people are being too liberal with this designation) to attract more customers. You can figure out which items are new. The place is only a few months old so no one can say that management isn't responsive to market trends. I asked a few of the few diners that were there with me when I ate there if they liked their meals (sandwichs mostly) and they did. The waitress said the pizza is excellent too (and they do serve slices). Given the quality of the tomato sauce and cheese on my meal, I would believe the advice. This may not be a destination spot, but, it should be a go to location for anyone in the neighborhood. They have most everybody's favorites, the place is clean and the prices hit the sweet spot. The place seats about 90. There are nine booths and ten tables. One table seats eight and the rest are four seaters. The bar seats about eight. They have a TV aside it. There were four others there at lunch. The service (1) was great. I believe the management is really trying to win your loyalty (specials, menu rework, low prices, big portions). They do not seem to have lowered standards in the struggle to gain traction. I would warn the local populace not to forsake these dependable establishments. It's the last man standing (Mickey D's and Subway do not count) in your little strip mall. And if you don't watch out, you may lose them too. There are two condo communities across the street, so, there is a marketplace. I reluctantly came here after I saw it on my way to the airport (another party crasher to my list of wanna sees). I left glad that I turned at the right time and spotted it in its seclusion.

*Now a Diginos

Pub Crawl - Antique and Audubon Garden Districts: Imperial, Redlight Redlight, Taps From Scratch

I had drinks at the following places on Friday.

8-8:20pm: Imperial Wine Bar & Beer Garden - I was early for dinner so I had a glass of wine at the spot on N. Orange and New Hampshire. It's a converted furniture store (can still buy pieces on display). They do have a small patio (beer garden). There were about twenty people there. It attracts a beer and wine crowd (no vodka red bullers). Too early to judge.

9:30-10pm: Redlight Redlight - They moved to Corrine Drive (near Sushi Lola). The place in warehouse chic. It was pretty full. It reminded my of any place in Colorado ski country. There were few girls with makeup and few shaved men. I was feeling tired and run down anyway, but, I left because of the reverse bigotry of one of the bartenders. The kind that thinks tolerance is a one way street. A one way street that leads to you accepting his idiosyncrasies but not to his accepting yours. This smug, ginger haired cherub big timed a poor guy (who was a fish out of water) who didn't know it wasn't "acceptable" to still be asking for Budweiser. This pubic hair faced, hay seed who attended public school and whose parents never earned more than the $18,000 a year he is now pulling in, kept feigning ignorance when this poor guy kept asking for a Bud. Do you really think the pretension of rejecting mass market goods makes you special? Maybe in your own special world. But, step out of it and you will be squashed like the self important bug you are. You haven't earned the right to be a snob. You are just a working class douche in a dead end town. That aside, it was a pretty cool place.

10-10:05pm: Taps From Scratch - I ran out of gas at this "tap room" across from Stardust (E. Winter Park Rd). It's basically a house with (beer) taps in each room. There is also an art gallery vibe. I didn't stay to see what you need to do to get served. I suppose you pay the guy up front for a cup. It was exactly like showing up a tepid high school party in which you don't know anybody (because they are not popular). Wouldn't do it then. Couldn't do it now.