Ichigo Ichie, Sanford

I endured this buffet (on 17-92 in the Wal-mart shopping center) for you yesterday. It's near the closed Mexican place (I think it was an El Potro). The people who run these places are always a bunch of penny pinching little weasels. Suffering through them and the mass of inhumanity that eat here is always a lesson in perseverance. These guys, literally and figuratively, left a bad taste in my mouth. The literal "bad taste" was an undercooked pizza. It is the common thread through all buffets. Raw pizza. The figurative "bad taste" was the fact that they refuse to take American Express and their evident disdain for the customer. The first one I can live with. The second I should understand because I just similarly insulted them a few sentence up. However unlike the people that work there, they are not subsidising my Get Out Of Jail Free card (life in whatever shit hole they sailed out of). These shameless, round eye gluttons make your life possible. Treat them with a little reverence. I know an engaging personality may be too hard to affect, but, at least try to not look hostile. The buffet cost $7 and $2 for a soda. They have a lot of items. I went for sushi. The name sounded Japanese. They had about eight rolls and two nigiri. The nigiri (salmon and what they said was fluke, but, was more likely talapia) was paper thin. They never, ever replaced it once the one plate was gone. Same with the rolls. This was the strictest non-replenishment code I had ever encountered. If I was there after I was there, I would not have had any sushi. I was lucky that I seemed the only one interested in it. The only roll worth eating was the salmon roll. The other rolls were just riffs on fake crab and diced up, spicy fish remnants. Cheap stuff. I had two warm things (nuggets and pork loin). The pork loin was good. They didn't provide knives to cut it though. Try cutting a loin with a spoon. The nuggets were nuggets. The place has three seating areas and a private room. The tables evince the lack of aesthetic sensibility common to the milieu. It includes faux marble table tops, black chairs and a crystal chandelier inside yellow and orange trim. They all flank warming stations. The guys at Caesar's Palace think it's tacky. Tacky and unfortunately too common. But, it takes a while for people, like food, to absorb taste.

I just searched online for what the name means and it means "Each Moment Only Once" in Japanese. That just makes me madder about the sushi and more confused as to why all the staff looked Chinese. It is a fit name. That was the one moment I will spend there. It is an average buffet. It has more than the Sun Valley Buffet in Sanford or the one in Lake Mary. I think I would recommend the one in Longwood (East-West) over all of them (for that area) - especially if you are looking for sushi. None of this would be necessary if Crazy Buffet hadn't gone under.

February Food Truck Round Up - Lake Mary : Firehouse BBQ, Louie's Bistro

On Sunday, the Firehouse BBQ Food Truck and Louie's Bistro On The Run Food Truck replaced Chutzpah, Baxter's, Beard Papa's and the Empanada Trucks in the lineup at the Lake Mary City Hall. I tried the newbies. I had a "Hero" at Firehouse for $8. It was a sandwich of beef brisket, pepperjack, cole slaw, banana peppers, pickles, sauteed onions on buttered toast. It was rich and oily. The brisket was fatty. Too much unnecessary fat and calories for my taste (plus I don't like peppers). How can any hillbilly still think white toast is an acceptable sandwich component for anything other than grilled cheese, pb&j or a club sandwich at this point in time? We have interstate commerce now. I know it is tradition. But, evolve! They said they were competitive cooks who decided to branch out into retail. I believe they are out of DeLand. They said they had just won a contest in Kentucky. They have a sharp, new, red truck with a smoker attached. That and the BBQ mystique must be why you are still paying a premium for roofless, seatless and serviceless service. They had some kitschy products aside from the usual BBQ fare - BBQ Sundae (beans, slaw, pulled pork), BBQ Wangs (no sp) and Fried Apple Fries. They have ribs, but, sold out in the first hour. The food came out reasonably fast.

I also sampled Louie's Bistro. They took forever! At least ten minutes ordering and twenty five expediting. I switched at the last minute from beef tips in a cream peppercorn sauce over fries for the chicken tacos. They were very good. A good audible (the tip sauce looked coagulated and dreary). It was three soft shell tacos for $6 (the low end of the pricing). The chicken must have been braising in liquid all night (possibly in something with green olives). It was infused with a wonderful flavor. The taco came with fresh lettuce and a pungent lime sauce. It was a generous portion. The taco shells would be better served if they grilled them a little besides a squirt of water. This would take some of the raw flavor out of the shell and keep them pliable. They currently taste like raw dough and they split in half during ingestion. They also had a jerk pork something or other and a pork loin (about 6 items). It was an eclectic menu. The big difference in value they had versus some of the other trucks was that they gave a side (fries) with most meals.

Both trucks were good and were the most popular at the event. I'm not sure if this was because they were new or best. It was only my second rodeo. It was going pretty well until the rain came.

La Nueva Arepera, Orlando

I bookended my trip to the airport (a gastro-copalypse of Vail and Denver that hit almost every Guy Fieri, Anthony Bourdain and Adam Richman recommendation and climaxed with me eating bulls balls at the Buckhorn - like a virgin, munched for the very first time) with a stop at this Venezuelan restaurant on Friday night. It is on 436 in between 50 and 408. It is a rectangular space that is mostly counter top (they have some seats up front). It seats about 40. It was about half full at 10pm. It is a plain, white walled space with the grills against the wall. I had an Arepas (white ground corn bun) stuffed with shrimp for $5. They gave me an ungodly amount of shrimp. I used most of it to make an extra sub with the next day's Subway tuna sub carcass that I ate the tuna out with chips. Subway should really consider selling a shrimp salad sub. The part of the Arepa I left "as is" tasted ok. A little bland with either the garlic are ultra hot sauce they served as a condiment. I grew some jalapenos a few years ago and made a salsa out of them when they turned red. Maybe this was what they use. Maybe it's habaneros? It's an ass burner. The shrimp looked like the ones you buy at the supermarket in one of those shrimp cocktail trays. Quantity versus quality. I also had a mixed Cachapas of shredded chicken and cheese for $8. I made the double mistake of not reading the menu thoroughly enough and getting two things I didn't really need on something I had never had. That made the price go from $3 to $8. A Cachapas seems to be a thick, sweet, yellow corn pancake. It came with the aforementioned shredded chicken and cheese. The chicken was fine. I didn't specify which of the four (white, yellow, guayanes and mano) cheeses I wanted, but, I received the one that looked and tasted like mozzarella. It was a huge slab. Too much for this dish or your bowels to process. I ate some of the plate "as is" and transferred most of the cheese to the Arepa to make a "Caracas" grilled cheese. That is purely from my imagination. I'm sure there was nothing named that until right now. Feel free to run with it. The Cachapas is good, but, the sweetness wears out its welcome fast. You definitely don't need it and an arepa. The restaurant was more than I expected. I expected just a few Arepas and maybe some grocery store items. They had a pretty extensive menu. The things I have already mentioned (with many iterations) plus breakfast plates, empanadas, empanadillas, soups, chicken cutlets, fried fish, steak, pork chops, sides and desserts. They are open 24 hours. Parking is limited. They speak English. The menu is in English. I have no problem with you trying this place out. The neighborhood is scary, but, the people inside are nice. Plus how many restaurants can you choose from that deliver a Venezuelan experience? It may be the only way many of us get to experience the culture.

Riviera Maya, Orlando

I had lunch at this Mexican restaurant on 436 near 408 last week on my way to the airport. It is in that strip mall (Royal Oak Village) with the Sonic that has the Jetson-esque nameplates out front. It is the only restaurant still serving in that complex. Can we not have an ordinance that requires old places to rip down their signage when they file? I had a cup of the tortilla soup (which seemed to be a house specialty) for $4 and a plate of Chilaquiles (because I like saying Chilla-kill-ayssss) for $6. The soup was very good. It had lots of good white meat chicken and fresh avocado and cheese and sour cream. The tortilla strips were thicker than usual (3x). The broth was good. There wasn't much room for it. It is a little expensive at $8 a bowl, but, a cup is a nice portion and the soup is really good. They describe the Chilaquiles as "stewed" in a homemade sauce. I've always had the sauce poured over the chips before serving. The chips here were very "saturated" with the sauce so maybe they did cook them together. It was a big portion. It came with eggs, cheese, onions, avocado, and cream. I'm not sure if they understood what "over easy" meant because they came "sunny side up". However, they at least had a liquid yoke to spread around the plate. The place is non-descript - not trendy - oldish. Its interior tries to resemble a cantina brought indoors. One side serves as a dining room. The other side is an area for the bar. There were two other people in the dining area while I was there (Orlando's finest). There were some people in the bar area, but, I wasn't sure if they were customers or friends and family. The dining area seats about 30. I believe it had a mural on the wall. The menu is mostly Southern Yucatanian. They have some Latin/South American dishes (ie Ropa Vieja, Cubano, Tripleta) and even a Cheeseburger. It is "authentic" despite the occasional departures. The Yucatan is mostly coastal, so, they have and claim to cook fish well. They have a kids menu, desserts, wraps, sandwiches, salads and many traditional dishes. The high water mark is $16 for seafood stews. Most things cost around $8-$10. Breakfast items cost less and are served all day. They are open from 7am to 9pm on weekdays and 9am-8pm on weekends. They are open on Sunday (which can be rare for Catholic run businesses). I forget if the "Cloth" did well converting Mayans. I absolutely recommend the place. I was pleasantly surprised by the quality of the food. It far outpaces the look of the place. It is in an oasis in what can be a scary part of town. It has lots of parking. The service is polite and fast. They even are "hip" enough to have an online presence on Facebook and the web - http://www.rivieramayacafe.com/ while offering free Wi-Fi.

Truffles, Winter Park - Closed

I had lunch at this Grill/Cafe (depending on the receipt or card) in the Winter Park Village next to Chamberlain's on Orlando Ave (17-92) yesterday. It is a division of Applebee's. I had the Chicken Pot Pie for $12. The pie came in a clean, white bowl with a pie crust top hat. I, originally, was disappointed by its modern look (I cut my teeth on messy, unruly crock pots of imprisoned components) and gave the waitress an "anhh" when she asked if I thought it the most delicious CPP I had ever had. I think I may have said (in fact I know I did) that it was like cream of chicken soup with pie crust crackers. No sooner did I open my big mouth (I should disclose that I vowed to myself as a teen to give honest, thoughtful answers to even the most pointless small talk as a reaction to the pointlessness of small talk) than I started to rethink and regret my reply. As I tasted the still firm carrots (man that sounds gay) and broccoli, I understood the benefit of reconstructing Grand Ma's Chicken Pot Pie. It's not a mushy mess. And while you still miss the bottom and side crust, it is a reasonable price to pay for toothsomeness. And besides they usually undercooked that part of the dish anyway. So I admitted my mistake and asked for Absolution from my waitress and received more than that. They comped the dish. I didn't ask for it. I tried to dissuade them. But, they wouldn't let me hear of it. And that is why this review switched from - a rather generic, overpriced, ordinary American McRich-staurant - to what I have to say about it in the next, few lines. It is true that it is part of a chain (all be it a small chain aiming at the higher end of American casual). But, some people are comforted by that. It is true that the menu is a "Greatest Hits" album. But, some people are comforted by that. It is true that the prices are a little high considering the first two concessions. But...well everbody hates that (except maybe the baby in the Jimmy Fallon credit card commercial). However, this is what most unadventurous Americans want and what most adventurous Americans can put up with.

The place is clean with a forced elegance. It looks like everything was bought at Pottery Barn or wherever they sell faux French advertisement posters and mass produced works of art. You just sense the conformity. Aside from that, we already established that the service is beyond reproach and multitudinous. There must have been eight, corporately dressed attendants on call for lunch (plus a host and a bartender or two). This is the benefit of having big, corporate dollars paying the bills. The place seats about: 20 in booths of two on either side of the bar/dining room divider, 10 at the bar, 40 in two rows of tables for four in between four person booths for 20 in the dining room. They also have a patio that seats around 50. I was there late so the inside was almost empty. It was "waiting room only" two Saturday night's ago. All in all, it's ok. I still don't get why they call it Truffles. I didn't see any on the menu. I didn't see any French or Italian food. It's perplexing. I am more familiar with the jokes about Applebee's than the food, but, I know I've been there at least once and I think I think of them as I do of Truffles. It's a little basic. It's a little safe. It's a little overpriced for what you get. I can't say I will fight to get back here, but, I wouldn't whine if I was forced to. And let every other restaurant manager take note. What could have been a very sour and uncomplimentary report on a lunch service turned into a semi-laudatory review. In addition, I feel a certain debt to and affinity for the place. A debt that I tried to repay by giving the waitress most of the cost of meal (I didn't have all the cash required) as a tip and an affinity for the place so that I am more likely to return (even though I prefer to try uncharted waters) or tell others to. Finally, I didn't mention the "tip" to garner sympathy. I did it so you wouldn't think I'm the type of person that goes around complaining about my meal to get a discount. I just complain about it out the sheer love of the complaint.

BTW - a McRich-staurant is a cookie cutter chain of "luxury" dining (ie Houston's, Flemings, Seasons 52). Slightly different from a Mc-restaurant (ie Chilis, Applebee's, TGIF)

The Piano Lesson, SSC

I saw this edition of the August Wilson retrospective last Sunday afternoon. It had many of the usual suspects and the quality has remained constant through the years. I don't know how they remember the dialogue. Wilson never shuts up or finds the most direct (yet believable) way to the point. I don't know if he was like Mamet and tape recorded or transcribed real arguments by people in his life who apparently have no ability to find the center of a philosophical argument, but, his characters just keep rehashing the same misguided logic and preferences/prejudices. If this is how black people really live, it most be exhausting to be black. I could barely take three hours of it with an intermission. It's just "oh no you don't" versus " oh yes I do". It's like hearing children bicker. The central question posed by this play is if a heirloom should be kept for its intrinsic or extrinsic value. Sell your past for your future. They spend 3 hours arguing around it and the only way Wilson can solve the enigma is by introducing a tie breaker. He adds some ridiculous element of the supernatural to the equation at the last moment. It is like he just had to finally put something down so he could get this thing out of his door. The play ends with the piano in place, but, the question unanswered. I would have preferred that he left the dilemma festering if he couldn't resolve it. I'm not sure how I resolve it. At any rate, it is still a good key hole in which to view an unfamiliar social dynamic and period in time. There is a lot of humor and home spun wisdom in the exposition. It will only cost you $10 to peep. The playhouse was almost full. A mix of all ages and other arbitrarily defining adjectives. It runs through the 12th. Putnam County Spelling Bee is next.

Grub Crawl - Longwood/Lake Mary : Bite Hot Dog Company Closed), La Parada Criolla (Closed), Joy Luck (Closed), Mikado

This is a combo from today and yesterday. I had lunch at one of the places then came back and bought some thing to eat while watching the Superbowl at the others. The first three are on 434 between I4 and Ronald Reagan Parkway. Mikado is on Lake Mary Blvd.

Bite Hot Dog Company - I had a Bloody Mary Basket here for $6.69. It was a hot dog with tomato, olives, celery, horse radish pepper sauce and celery salt. It came with fresh cut fries and a drink. The dog was ok. I'm not big on these Mid West "salad" dogs. It's $3.49 on its own. I think anything over $2 is too much for a dog. This turned out to be just 20 cents over the cheapest available dog ($3.29). They top out at $4.29. The have some interesting combos (mashed potato dog). The fries were undercooked. They gave you a large (half the basket) portion. I would advise them to relax on order fulfillment speed and concentrate on quality. They seemed understaffed, so I will chalk it up to that. The place seats about 50. It was pretty full. It's mostly counter top seating. They have four tables inside and more on a patio. It is similar to Moe's in that they have rock 'n' roll quotes on the wall. The wall is bright red. The place is clean. They are not a chain. They have been open for ten months. I would go back if the traffic around the place weren't so bad or if they weren't inconveniently in the middle of the morass of 434.

La Parada Criolla - I ordered some chicken wings and fries to go for $5.50. I really wasn't in the mood for "island" Spanish food (Puerto Rican), but, I wanted to knock this place out while I was in the neighborhood and traffic was lighter. It's in a strip mall where they have some night club. The new owner took over a hamburger joint that was run by the nightclub's owner. They have the expected fare. The soups and entrees (like most of these places) seem a little expensive, but conversely, the sandwiches and desserts seem too cheap. They have lunch specials starting at $5. They serve breakfast. The owner was very nice. Try it out so she can quit her other job and concentrate on school and/or her kids.

Joy Luck - I could have sworn I ate her before, but, it isn't in the search. They said they have been open for three years. I had a Kung Pao dinner for $10. It came with a huge amount of pork fried rice, a good egg roll and wanton soup. It's still not the Kung Pao I was raised on. They use a black sauce. Alot of it. It wasn't very spicy. The chicken they used was mostly dark meat scraps. It seats about 60. It's behind Bayridge sushi. Nice owners.

Mikado - I made the mistake of eating here on a Monday (I hope for their sake). I received fish that was probably delivered on Thursday. As such, my sashimi platter for $12 wasn't very fresh. It was ten pieces. The tuna was bland. The salmon was pasty and tasteless. The white tuna was soft. The tough fluke ironically had the most flavor. It came with a salad (or soup) that was drenched in dressing. I needed something healthy after the Super Bowl junk fest. I should have reconsidered. The place is the old Fuji. They jettisoned the hibachi tables (they do that in the back now). Other than that it is similar. I had similarly bad experiences at Fuji. I will put these guys on the black list as well. They think they are high end (and charge that way), but, I don't have them in my top twenty. I would suggest Samurai sushi instead. They have better pricing and know better than to try and pimp the sushi bar when the whole restaurant is empty.

Tamarind, Winter Park

I had a late dinner at this Indian restaurant in a decrepit strip mall on the corner of 17-92 (Orlando Ave and Lee Rd) last Monday. The parking lot is so devoid of illumination, I don't know how the landlord or proprietors in this area haven't been sued for some sort of malfeasance that such an environment engenders. I had the Chicken Xacuti for $13. It was good. Kind of like Tikka Masala, but, with coconut. It was a big portion (enough for two). It came with basmati rice. They provided me with a complimentary basket of the thin Indian "crackers" (I'm spacing on the name) with three accouterments to snack on. One was a salsa-esque salad. One was a sweet, black, thick liquid. One was a hot, green puree. I can't believe I'm still struggling with the terminology after eating it for so long. It doesn't help that the food is so fattening I can only allow myself to have it once a month. In any event, the food seems mostly higher end. The fat lady at the Sentinel gave it good marks. It is run by the people who do Ashirwaad (sp?). They have some dishes I haven't seen labeled as such at other Indian restaurants, but, they seemed to think they were common enough when asked about them. They do tandor, soups, salads, naans, dosas, desserts and "stews" of chicken or vegetables or lamb or seafood. Most are in the $13-$16 range. The most expensive thing is $20. They are on Idine. The place is in the old Cuban location. They dressed it up in Indian luxury. The design is very rococo. They have plush tapestries, chandeliers, ornate accents and a big mural of a village scene on one of the walls. It has: two booths that seat six, four that seat four, two tables that seat four and two tables that seat eight. Service (1) was good. The meal came out in minutes. There were three others there at 9pm. There was a wait for a table on first attempt to dine there the Saturday before. I would guess it is popular. They are open every day (take that lazy Americans). They are open for lunch. No buffet, but, a pick 'em menu is offered. I forget the price on that. It's a good spot for value.