Grub Crawl - I Drive Area: Pizza Extreme and Giordano's

I bought pizza from these two restaurants on recommendations in Bite magazine. I'm starting to think that they pander to businesses that advertise in it or are not that discerning.

Pizza Extreme - Thank God I just bought a slice and not a whole pie here. The cheese was a salt flat. The dough had a 30 degree slope. Never have I seen a slice have such a discrepency between crust height and tip height. If it were a road, a semi would have run off its terminus. It would have suffered the extent of my wrath had I not then gone to the next place rated. In its defense the slice was only $1.75. The place looks like the American Pie type place I took for (and avoided) all these years. It's in a strip mall past Santo's before Universal (road not park). Pass.

Giordano's - Or should I say Red Baron's. This $13 small pie is an insult to Italians everywhere. A worse blot on Italian dignity than The Jersey Shore. I know they can't do thin crust in Chicago, but, this was bottom of the barrel bad. Refrigerator case bad. Places that use a conveyor belt hide their heads in shame when they talk of the G spot. The guys at Domino's and Papa John's point and laugh. It didn't help that they probably rushed it and it could have used a few more minutes in the ? - microwave? I tried it hot. I tried it warm. I tried it cold. The one thing I can say for it is that the cheese was better than Pizza Extreme's. Maybe they can share recipes and come up with a mediocre entrant. Or band together to battle the world for The World's Worst Pizza. The place looks ok in a parodical sort of way. I hesitate to tell you it's where Sand Lake and Universal meet. Deep dish pies take 30 minutes. Ignore it and hope it goes away. I'm going to put the pizza in the freezer for a month and hope it gets better.

FYI - they are doing a ton of rebuilding on I Drive. Should be a lot of new places on the horizon.

Santos, I Drive Area

I had a buffet lunch at this eponymous Brazilian restaurant on Kirkman (the Wet 'n Wild side). It's owner/chef is Ailton Santos. The meal far exceeded expectations. I had originally come down for an Indian meal at a restaurant I saw in Bite magazine called Shamiana. Watching Michael Cook's History of India on PBS had put me in the mood. Unfortunately for me, (as the office park manager related) it has been closed for years. Nice job Bite. So I audibled and decided to retry Santos to knock it off my list. I tried to try it a few months ago, but, they closed at 9pm. And I thought Brazilians start then. I'm glad I persisted. The buffet only cost $11. The other Brazilian buffets are two to three times that. Now the place is a little rattier, but, choose here if you don't care about faux ambience. That's for the faux rich anyway. The buffet had a cold, salad area. I ignored that. It had a hot area. I tried half of that. And it had a churasscaria window. I was force fed that. In the hot area they had rice, beans, etc and ribs, chicken in a creamy tomato sauce, chicken in a yellow sauce, and beef stroganoff as well as a left over type stew called fajouado, etc. I tried the ribs, the chicken and the beef. The ribs were tasty (no rub or sauce) and delicate. The chicken and the beef weren't over cooked (rare for a buffet) and I think shared a similar sauce base. I think the three sauces started with a roux and cream and then sour or sweet or nothing was added to develop the three options. All were good. Who knew Brazilians knew stroganoff? After changing plates, I ventured to the meat window just to sample a sausage. The man acted like Sam the Butcher giving Alice the meat. He gave we two sausages (a tad overcooked), three strips of sirloin, two top pieces and four pieces of top sirloin. So much for my recently unimpacted colon (thanks to yesterday's ass curdling meal from Thai Thani). I felt I had to finish to be polite. Thankfully, it was mostly medium-ish and had good flavor. In addition to the food, the service was good. Plates were bused and soda refilled lickety split. I chatted up the owner nad his wife and they were amiable. You could see they really care about putting out a good product. The place seats about sixty. It was about 3/4 full of countrymen. I'll bet this is the call for real Brazilian ex-pats. As I said, it's not a looker, but, they recently invested in a new, big sign out front so you can tell it is in operation and it's clean. Like most places that are run or cater to a foreign clientele, they eschew American Express. I recommend the value here over all other Brazilian restaurants in the area. Great find.

*2/27/2016 - I think they are just remodeling, but, they knocked the old structure down and it is not serving now.

Cheddar's, Sanford

I had lunch at this branch of the Texas based chain in what had been the largest undeveloped tract of land around the Seminole Mall on Friday. You remember the "goat farm" wink wink. Not a tax dodge at all. Anyway this is one of the first locations to open there. I think it opened two weeks ago. I had their chicken and waffles for what I think was $9. They don't itemize it on your copy. What purpose this accomplishes I'm not sure. It has to be pernicious and deliberate though, I'm sure. The waffle was hard as nails and cold. I wouldn't be surprised if they made them in advance. The chicken was three, large tenderloins/fingers. The outside crust was nice and flaky, but, the inside was a little sticky/under done. I just came from eating Roscoe's Chicken and Waffles in LA, so needless to say, they paled in comparision. You wouldn't know it by the scores of hayseeds lining up to what for them must be New Year's Eve - another nationwide slop house. I didn't even argue over sitting at the bar. I just went. The waiting period must have been thirty minutes. At the bar, I was ignored by two girls and what I term a Southern gay. I don't think he actually chases men, but, his effete, pompousness comes off as swish. He seemed more concerned with talking to his friends. We had a guy like him in the marketing department of my previous employer and he had a hot girlfriend. Maybe she was a beard or maybe she was confused and wanted a hybrid shim, but, the guy was seen in public with her. I'm digressing. I had to appeal to the one adult (who I surmised was the manager) to get a menu and some attention. The party next to me had a worse time because they weren't as proactive. They sat there, like ghosts, for twenty minutes. The plate came fairly quickly. The manager did get me a refill (though the mix was off or glass was tainted). Paying took as much effort on my part. Needless to say this isn't my cup of tea and even if the service wasn't (semi-understandably) distracted, I would not likely go back. It's just the same mid-level effort you get at Chili's/Applebee's. The prices were pretty low. If you are the typical Joe Blow with little enthusiasm for adventure, this is your Eden. It seats about 120. There is a main dining room and a bar area. It's decorated like a steer house mixed with a Bahama Breeze. It has island type fans circulating in the main room. If it is born of Texas I don't get the fusion. The menu has ribs, chicken, sandwiches, snack foods. Destined to become infuriatingly popular.

The Nou, Altamonte Springs

I had lunch at this Venezuelan restaurant in a crappy (proper use of the adjective low class British people) strip mall on 436 nearing Apopka yesterday. It had housed a fish and chips place and an excellent taco place that I think predate this blog. It's a small little sliver that ownership has done its best with a small budget to beautify. I had a bowl of lentil soup with beef chunks for $5 and the Reina Pepiada arepa "sandwich" for $5. The soup was overly salted. I had trouble getting whatever broth was attached to the beef pieces down my throat. I've vowed to stand up to the salt stampede. Do people really have such bad palettes now? You realize it's bad for you? It's not inocuous. Anyway, the beef was tender (as were the lentils). The arepa was fine (slightly mushy inside/undercooked). The contents were mayonaised shredded chicken, avocado, carrots and peas. It could have used a contrast. And this is my problem with most of the cooking from this part of the world. It's one dimensional. They just keep hitting you on top of the head with more of the same components. The peas and carrots added a little sweetness (although they were probably frozen), but, this dish was begging for brightness. Add some citrus or vinegar. Add a spicy pepper. Do something to counteract the pastyness. Especially in summer. That said, you could see it was made to order and the serving size was large. I didn't need that soup. They said they were going to change the menu soon so I won't go into detail about it. There were about twenty items. Things were reasonably priced to cheap. They were adding breakfast. The place seats about thirty. It was half full of what appeared to be Venezuelans. The place was white with black elements. They have the traditional Polar beer. Food from this locale is no longer a rarity in the area, so, purveyors will have to compete on quality. I think there is enough passion and hopefully enough talent in the kitchen to let them compete. Not a destination spot, but, a hidden prospect. BTW - they comped me on the soup on their own. How's that for respect for their clientele?

Grub Crawl - OIA: Matt's Latin BBQ and Kyoto

I had lunch at these two restaurants near the airport three weeks ago. They are in a strip mall on 436.

Matt's Latin BBQ - I had a 1/4 roasted chicken for $2.50. Fine. A little tiny. I'm not big on Puerto Rican food even when it can't jump up and grab me at 30,000 feet. The place seats about seventy. It was a quarter full (of latinos). Not bad for the 4th of July. They have fish, mofongos, chicken, sandwiches, cracklins, pork, etc. The place is new looking if basic.

Kyoto - A branch of the UCF sushi staple. Almost fast food. I had an avocado roll for $4. It was fine. The take out menu I received seemed to have different prices than those in the store. The menu prices were in line with most places. The in store menu was a buck or two over fair market value. The place is brand new looking. They had four waitresses for no customers. It's an order at the counter place. I guess order taking has become too strenuous for that 15% extortion.

Mi Bandeja Paisa, Orlando

I ate lunch at this Columbian restaurant near the Ritz on John Young Parkway about three weeks ago. It's in the back of a strip mall before 417. I had the Bandeja Platter for $18. It came with some skirt steak (they call it lomo, but, lomo in Spain was loin), deep fried pork belly (chicharron), sausage, rice, beans (a special kind that I can't recall the name of), arepa, sweet plaintains and half an avocado. I couldn't eat it all. It looked like no one in the restaurant could either. I saw a lot of to go bags. The meats were overcooked. The chicharron was like a crow bar. The beans and sausage were the high light. Very flavorful. The plating was nice (wood plank with banana leaf). Bandeja means " a landscape" or "a tray of different objects' in this context. This dish is a good primer into Cloumbian cooking. The menu has about twenty options. The price range is $10-$20. It's upper scale Columbian. The clientele and staff were mostly Colombian. The service (3) was pleasant. The place seats around fifty. It has a tiny bar area. The color scheme is odd. It looks like it was altered from an Italian place. The ceiling is black. The walls are red and orange. They employ wood accents and screens. It's a fine place. I'm not sure it's trek worthy. However, if you live in the area, you will receive a good exchange for your money. Just hope they get the timing right on the meats on the day you arrive.