Tortas El Rey, OBT

I had lunch (it's a drive thru) at this Mexican ex-Checkers location in between I-4 and Sand Lake on Tuesday. I had a chicken soft taco for $2 and a carnitas soft taco for $2. Fine. A little plain. Should have stopped there, but, I was starving after trying and failing to find another place and the place said it was the "king of Tortas". The Torta al Pastor I had was disappointing. I liked the roll and the toppings (mayo, lettuce, tomato, beans, etc), but, the "sweet pork" was mostly absent and tasted like bad Chinese food. They have a nice menu of sopes, hurraches, tacos, burritos, etc for a little place. It did take inexplicably long to get the food (you slap a scoop of pre-cooked meat on a bun). It's authentic. It has that going for it. Which is nice. They said it was Tijuana-style (insert donkey joke here). I wouldn't make a day of it, but, if you are in the area looking for crack whores and the crystal meth (or that new one - Molly) hasn't silenced your appetite, then by all means go for it.

Woodlands, OBT

I had a Mixed Vegetarian Pakora to go from this Vegetarian Indian restaurant in between I-4 and Sand Lake Rd on Tuesday. It cost $6. It was fine. It's fried veggies. The frying was ok. The portion was small and further disappointing because half of it was peppers (I don't eat) and half potatoes (boring). The place gets very good reviews so I'm not telling you to avoid it. I'm just saying what I had was average. I wasn't expecting to be blown away (why I didn't sit in) and it was about what I expected. A mostly Indian crowd in a re-purposed, old, cafe like environment that saves the extra penny by not taking AMEX. A food only play.

Hotto Potto, Winter Park

I had dinner at this Chinese "hot pot" restaurant at the intersection of Aloma and 436 (old strip mall with Friendly Confines) on Monday. I had: meat stock for $3.50, pork slices for $2.50, pork stomach for $2.50, duck feet for $3 and cuttlefish for $3. If you are wondering what goes down here, this is how it works. You order a broth (3 types) and then some animal parts to boil in. You can also get veggies and noodles too. You get a little bowl full of the aforementioned and drop them in the boiling stock. It's like The Melting Pot or Colorado Fondue Company (at a much lower price point). As you can deduce by my "unusual" melange of tidbits, they have a large variety of components. They are good for timid and ambitious appetites. You can replicate most of the standard Asian hot pots with a little creativity (they have a Tom Yum broth for example). So, it should appeal to any Asian "undocumented" immigrant and/or those who want to eat like them. No need to run to the eponymous section of town to partake. I won't bother listing the options. Go and get your mind blown. It's an episode of Bizarre Foods. I had never had duck feet (duck tongues, yes). They turned out to be fine. Alot like the delicate cuttlefish (the webbing) with extra crunch (the toes). And cuttlefish are basically squid. The pork stomach (had only had cow stomach to my knowledge) was predicatably chewy. The pork was fine. Thin slices of pork (not sure of the cut). The broth was good. It changes in taste as you add elements. I was confused a little by the suggested cooking times. I personally believe they are way too long. You'll turn all the meat into rubber. But, I guess they are worried about lawsuits. I was told - when it floats, it is good to go. Consult your nearest Google task bar to see who is right. I bet they say divide the baby in half (like all indecisive ajudicators). The decor is bland. I've yet to see a compelling disciple of interior design emerge from Chinese roots. It's all silk and gold and a nauseating obsession with a roccoco past. The orange seat covers instantly told me this place was Chinese. And if it wasn't that, it would have been their lack of awareness of what is appropriate and what is not. Industrial fish tanks - inappropriate. Children's high chairs - inappropriate. Etcetera. Hide that junk. Your dining room is not your store room. This isn't your home. This is a place of business where people want to escape from the troubles of their day. Don't ruin the illusion. The place seats about eighty in an older space (old strip mall). Most tables are tables of four with a hot plate in the middle. They have a bar up front and a private room down a hall that has a door that should remain closed. The crowd was mostly hipsters with their frumpy girlfriends. There was one table with Asian Dragon Ladies and another with muscled up, small time Korean Gansters and their white, stripper girlfriends. The service (2) was ok. A little slow (it's raw meat on a plate) and scatter brained (they brought me beef and forgot the cuttlefish and had to be asked for a soup ladle and bowl). All in all I liked it. Good pricing and variety. I think I can categorize it as a destination spot. But, only for the novelty of the experience. It's like a freak show. It's not high art, but, you know you'll leave with a queer look on your face and a smile in your heart.

Dylan's Deli, Winter Park - Closed

The final stop on my tour today was this "deli" near The Ravaneous Pig. It's another oversell by Bite magazine (so were the places in the preceeding blogs). The owner bragged about how eagerly his brisket was received by expert palettes. How the owner of 4 Rivers came to learn how it was done. I hate to be (actually don't mind at all) the bearer of bad news, but, it was dry, had no flavor and could have been regular roast beef based on its texture. He said they smoked it. No smoke flavor. He also "warmed" it for the sandwich. That turned the pieces exposed to the griddle into beef jerky. The french roll had the little "braille balls" on the bottom that you get from machine made bread. It was probably bought at Publix. Just amateurish. It came with some cheese and grilled onions. The high lights. It cost $7 and came with nothing else. It's a shame because the guy seemed nice and talked a good game. He seems to know what he should be doing. I guess that being French doesn't ensure you will be good behind the stove. Maybe this was an aberration. But, you can't talk such a big game and then "come weak" like that. The place is a little drab. It's like a dirty pub. Maybe it was because there were no lights on. It was empty at 2pm. It's really more of a sit down spot than a deli.

Yalaha Bakery, Antiques District - Closed

I bought two desserts at this German bakery near the ballet on N.Orange today. The "levain" store is in Yalaha (bakers will get the reference). I had a pecan square for $5 and a "sinkhole" for $4. The pecan part of the square looked like a rice krispie and was good. The pastry shell bottom was a little stale and unnecessary. The "sinkhole" was a circular brownie with a ganache/frosting puddle in the center. It was ok. A little stale too. The place looked promising. They had German preserved meats and bread and all manner of pastries. I just question their obsession/commitment with freshness. I would wager they don't toss out merchandise on a daily basis. Maybe you will time it right (or not notice).

Grub Crawl - Michigan Street: Mediterranean Blue (Closed) & The Sandwich Shop (Closed)

These two restaurants are on E. Michigan about a mile off 1-4. It's kind of a run down part of town that I doesn't have a restaurant that has ever knocked my socks off or been worthy of destination status. These two were not outliers. I ate lunch there today.

Mediterranean Blue - Everytime I have Greek food I lower them down a notch on the worldwide tennis ladder. It's a travesty that they are associated (diners) with food in so many parts of the country. Who encouraged this? I tried to go off page (Gyro is really the only thing they can do) and ordered the daily special. It was a Mahi Mahi "sandwich" in a pita. I was assured the fish was fresh. It wasn't It was frozen. It had freezer burn marks and tasted like bait. It didn't even look like Mahi. It must have been a baby based on the filet widths. Lots of people are accused of substituting this fish. We may have found proof. They put some unseasoned raw cabbage on it and an awful, pungent, salty tapenade. It accentuated the burnt residue of the pita. This thing was poorly conceived. The flavors they did offer didn't compliment. There were no levels of flavor. Sad. The pita was good. I ate a few pieces. Didn't want to ruin my appetite by eating more than I had to. It cost $8. The place is equally unassuming. It's a run down, square, low celinged remenant from the 70's. I've heard they "modernized" it. That means a coat of paint, some signage and a few framed photos. The menu is small (single digits) and basic. They have some "Italian" sandwiches (thinks cold cuts or caprese) and a "French" sandwich. That is the tour of Europe. I'd never go back. I can get a Gyro at Miami Subs.

The Sandwich Shop - They, sort of, salvaged the trip down here. I had a half of a Steak In The Grass sandwich for $6. It was roast beef and sauteed spinach and maybe some cheese (I had it to go and wasn't really paying attention as I wolfed it down driving away from the area). It was served warm. The sandwich did have levels of flavor (some garlic butter too). The portion of beef was large. I was going to question the pricing until I saw the portion size. A half is a real sandwich on its own. It came with an acceptable red potato salad (a little cup). The egg salad you could also choose from looked a little "filmy". The place is drab. It is part of an old strip mall complex. It is mostly kitchen. They have an alley space that seats about eight and another small space in front that may seat four. There is no effort given to interior decorating. It's a "business card on bulletin board" sort of place. They try to be creative with the sandwiches, but, most are staples given pithy names (and not to many of those). It's fine if you live in the area. 

Grub Crawl - Downtown: Benjamin French Bakery & Hyppo Gourmet Ice Pops (Changed to Pop Parlor)

I went to these two places around Lake Eola last Friday.

Benjamin French Bakery - This place is on Washington near Grafitti Junction in Thornton Park. I had a Tarte Chocolate and a Cannele. Both were very good (and I just came from Dominique Ansel in SoHo, Francois Payard and Maison Kayser Uptown). They used a nice bittersweet dark chocolate in the nice sized tarte shell. They added an artistic flourish to the top. The cannele was a little dense, but, it was my first one ever so I have no reference. I think they described it to me as a bread pudding. It looked like a mini Bundt cake. The place is small, but, they have a lot of dessert and non-dessert items crowded into the space. There is room to sit. The owners are from Bordeaux. The cannele was $1.89 and the tarte was $4.

Hyppo Gourmet Ice Pops - Thought I would roll my eyes at it, but, THE BEST POPSICLE EVER! I had a Riesling and Pear Pop for $3 (maybe $3.50?). Lots off pear shards. Fresh. Excellent. Great insouciance. It's after Metro Pizza acroos from Publix on the south side of the lake. Much better than the paletas I had in Nashville. *7/2/14 - now called Pop Parlor. I'm not sure what else changed.

Marsh Hammock BBQ, Downtown - Closed

I went downtown Friday after lunch because I had a rental car until 5pm and I hate driving my tank around there looking for a parking spot. On my way to my intended location (next blog) I spotted a new place on Orange. It turned out to be another barbeque place, so, I doubled down. I had a pulled pork sandwich for $7. It came with a side (I chose potato salad) and a drink. Excellent deal. Less than that shit hole Subway (you've got to see Jim Gaffigan's concert dvd on that topic in Mr Universe). The sandwich was good. A little over cooked/dry. The pork was marinated in sweet sauce. A big serving. Although, my spider sense did seem to think it may be prepared off site and served here. If that sort of thing bothers you. If it does, I hate to break it to you what most food trucks do. The potato salad must have been made with yogurt instead of mayo. It was too bright. It also had a lot of dill. The Diet Coke was fantastic. A real triumph. They should call this place 4 5 6 because they have 4 salads, 5 entrees (chicken salad, turkey/swiss, BBQ chicken breast, chicken legs and the PP) and 6 sides (beans, cole slaw, chips, broccoli salad, corn salad and PS). It small. It seats about thirty. It's counter service. It's clean and new. It's near Leo's Diner in the strip mall near the courthouse. It is a perfectly adequate substitute for any sit down meal option and a step up from any usual take out place in the neighborhood. I wonder if they have a place near Oviedo based on the name.

Cave Inn BBQ, Winter Garden - Closed

I had lunch at this new (June) barbeque spot on Old Winter Garden Rd at the southern end of Winter Garden last Friday. I was a bit apprehensive since it is so far from where I live and I didn't want to waste a day searching for bad barbeque. I'm glad I didn't chicken out. It's definetly a destination spot. Maybe my new number one barbeque place in Central Florida. 4 Rivers is still excellent, but, it traditional. This place is boundary pushing. Like an iron Chef judge, I give extra points for that. First off they don't smoke. I've only heard of one other place that doesn't sport wood (doesn't mean there aren't others) and that is Maryland. The owner isn't from there (Massachusetts) so we'll have to chaulk it up to ignorance or prejudice. I'd wager it's a life style choice. A preference for this style. You'll be questioning your own barbequ-ality after you try this. You might just turn bi (smoked and non-smoked). The brisket sandwich I had for $9 was delicious without the smoke taste. Just a cleaner beef taste. It came with a coarse chopped, vinegared, red cabbage slaw on Naan bread. The soft Naan wrapped itself around the slightly firmer meat like a pillowy blanket. It's charred sides competed a little with the meat, but when you dipped it into the bright jus they provided (can also get sauces), it was a perfect sum. The jus and slaw negate the char residue. The bread is also better than a roll because you can rip it into pieces and make small little finger sandwiches/gorditas that dip easier. They give you 8-10 centimeter thick pieces of meat (compared to 4-6 in some places). And it came with a side. I chose a baked potato. They serated it with a knife all over the top half. It looked like a bouquet of potato chips in a potato boat vase. The potato was a little under cooked and I'm not sure if toppings were extra, but, it made the asking price go from slightly expensive to a total bargain. The service was great. It seats about fifty. There were three others there. It looks like a barbeque place/hunting lodge. They have a bar and host live music. The menu has things like pulled pork and turkey drumsticks. It's small, so they have every opportunity to repeat a successful lunch or dinner service. It's the real deal. Inventive, unique dishes served well at reasonable prices. The one problem is that it is hard to find (in a strip mall behind a Walgreens) and it is small. Hopefully, that means they will have to open up additional locations across the county (or country).

Carmel Cafe, Winter Park - Closed

I had dinner at this oddly named Mediterranean chain from Tampa (it is at least not the first one) across from the old Houston's on 17-92 on Thursday. They opened in June. I had a small portion of beef short ribs and polenta for $11. I think the full portion was $17. The beef was very flaky and moist and the polenta was ok (a little loose). The portion WAS small. One little sqaure of beef and a coaster sized, centimeter high puddle of polenta. They have a range of African and European coast dishes. The most obvious ones. Prices stray towards the twenties. The parking lot and most of the restaurant was full. I had to sit at the bar. I probably could have sat at what looked like communal tables, but, I didn't see them until I sat down. The place seats about ten at the bar, thirty at the communal tables (in the middle), fifty in the back and sides and twenty on the patio. The place is reductive modern. You've seen this floor plan in a factory show room. It's from the chain restaurant handbook (modern section). The service was fine. The food came out really fast. They did the old "wait until the check comes before offering a refill" move. Not that I wanted one. It was a an ok "date". No sparks, but, no complaints either. Maybe we can be friends. They just opened for lunch a few days ago.