Grub Crawl - Lake Mary: Chez Jacqueline and Lighthouse Seafood

I went to these spots on Friday afternoon. They are in an ancient strip mall across from City Hall (Country Club Dr and Lake Mary Blvd).

Chez Jacqueline - They have been open for four years and I've even driven past a few times. Their signage is so absent that I thought it was closed every time. I had a croissant with Swiss and ham for $4 and an apple crepe for $5. A soda was $1. The croissant was perfect and although the cheese could have stood a little more time in the reheater, it and the ham were fine. Not a very pungent Swiss. The crepe was large and bursting with fresh apple pieces. They laced it with a little cinnamon (asked first if I wanted it) and powdered sugar. The place serves mainly pastries and crepes. Some items may be out of stock. I think that is called being "seasonal" now. It's authentic. It seats ten on five two seaters. It's decorated like an old lady's sitting room. It was full (all ten) of ladies. Service was polite if a little slow. The owner seem to be the main employee. She is French (or speaks it). I'd certainly go back again.

Lighthouse Seafood - They are right next door to Jacqueline. I think they opened around the same time. I wasn't impressed on my first visit, but, I think their selection and curb appeal has increased since then. They also have poor signage. I think it just said "seafood". I wasn't really looking to get something, but, I felt intoxicated because the girl who served me at Chez Jacqueline knew (or pretended to know) who Jean Jacque Rousseau was. I had a choice really of poke or soup. I chose the poke although I feel about this like I feel about ceviche. Just give me the raw fish. You kind of always ruin it your way. This, however, was good. Sesame oil, scallions, white onion, sesame seeds, something with a kick and 25 dice sized chucks of fresh ahi. It made my thumb and little finger stick out, Howley. It cost $12. But, let's compare. A pound of their sushi grade (this stuff) ahi was $24. I think they said this was half a pound. so, you get the veg and oil and prep for free (if you don't discount that weight). It came with that seaweed salad you get at sushi bars. They called it limu (I think). Your average sushi at a supermarket would cost $7 for the rolls with a tenth of the fish and $10+ for a quarter. I'd go here if you want a sashimii-like experience. They didn't even try and pass off the tail (dental floss) pieces on me. I was pleasantly surprised and would go back again. I think they change up the specials, so, don't kill me if they don't have this dish when you go.

Grub Crawl - Winter Park: Pi Hole (Closed), B Cupcakes, Rome's Flavour's and Frenchy's (Closed)

I sampled these restaurants on Sunday afternoon.

Pi Hole - They took over a previous pizzeria location across from Keke's. This is a transplant of an operation that I ate in in Plymouth Mass. Their gimmick is a pre-grilled pie dough with a hole in the middle. If you buy pie, you get a bowl of "bites" in the middle. I'm sorry, but, $20 for a plain cheese pie is ridiculous even if it comes with junk. It's not particularly good pizza either. I had their lunch special - a soda and one slice for $4. That was reasonable. Usually it is two slices and a soda for $5 or $6, so this is good for bargain shoppers. The slice was almost two slices in size anyway. The dough was a little dry and flourish. I think they didn't add enough water when they mixed it. The cheese was a low quality blend of what I would guess would be non-traditional pizza cheeses. They have non-Italian fare like wings, waffle fries, mac and cheese bites, etc. They have Italian dishes like arancini (balls made out of day old rice) and meatballs. The place is small. It may seat 15. It's very red with a big mirror on one wall. Service was friendly.

B Cupcakes - They are across from Pita Pit near the 7-11. It seemed like every cupcake had the same white cream topping. I had a strawberry because strawberry shortcake is one of the only things I like a frosting like this on. It was ok. The cupcake seemed like a brown sugar/molasses type cake that you associate with carrot cake or zucchini bread. It seemed to be the cake for alot of the other cakes. I think they just add a piece of fruit or other topping to a generic cake and call that by the topping. It cost $3. It was a very moist (lots of sugar) cake. The other branch is in Apopka.

Rome's Flavour's - They just (1 month) opened next to the Qwa Qwa Shop (that's what my brother calls croissants) on E Morse (off Park). I had a cup of three balls of gelato. I had pineapple, mixed berry and strawberry for $5. All were top notch. The pine and mixed were really good. Real, big pieces of actual fruit. The scoops are smallish, but, pack alot of flavor. They also gave me a taste of a good gorgonzola and honey gelato. I originally thought I'd just walk out when I saw that read their menu and saw that a glass of gelato started at $8 and a pizza "paddle" was $9. However, they have a part of the paddle special and I think the gelato was as low as $3-ish for a small. They should clarify that printed menu. They also have bruschetta, panzanella and alot of "assortment" plates. I lived around the corner from the original Sant Ambroeus in NYC and I may like this gelato better. The place is chic and the owners are Roman, so with that and the quality of the gelato and the transitive property, I would extrapolate that the rest of the menu won't suck or be inauthentic. Give it a go.

Frenchy's - Sweet Traditions moved here (near Briarpatch) from Winter Garden and opened a bakery. They closed that down a few month ago and now have a fully functioning French bistro. I just had a Cinnamon Roll/Swirl ($2) that was a bit dry for something that looked like it was repurposed from the croissant dough, but, the menu seemed intriguing and reasonably priced. They do B,L,D. The chef is French. He uses at least one master chef's recipe (I won't out him). Kudos for being aware of him. They still have part of a pastry window. They seemed to have spent a little money on the redo. The most unfortunate thing is their name. It sounds like something a Florida born person might think that other people would think is funny. It's just low brow. Maybe that plays in WG, but, Park Ave expects panache. They will probably just think it's not an authentic or serious French experience. I have it on the "retry" list.

Yamas, I Drive - Closed

I just had a bowl of chicken soup at this Greek restaurant on Saturday night. It cost $5. It was a bit bland, but, ok. I believe the spot used to be a high end seafood place. However, the exterior looked Japanese. They really didn't do much to the inside. It hardly screams Greece. The inside is huge. The outside patio (on the strip) was the only area open. The played bad reggae and people smoked hookahs and there was a belly dancer. The bartender was friendly. The menu was largish. The prices were reasonable. It's in the right area for what they are putting out.

I forgot to add that I was at Downtown Disney before this and those liars would have you believe that Pleasure island is finished. It isn't. I think it has been ten years since they began. I think it has been two years since I last saw it and they only added one cheese ball restaurant in the mean time. They still have a horrible temporary walkway between the La Nouba part and the Rain Forest cafe part. And of course they can't resist trying to narrow those labyrinths by installing kiosks, etc to sell you crap. I don't know who is in charge of this project, but, they won't be getting any employee of the month awards. Traffic was also outrageous with other uncompleted projects dotting the property. Stay away.

Shake Shack, Winter Park

I just got some cheese fries at this gourmet fast food burger place from NYC on Saturday. They cost $4. I've been to three of their locations in NYC (years ago), so, I knew what I was in for. The fries were perfect crinkle cuts. The cheese dip was great. I had never tried anything other than their burgers before (similar to Burger Fi). That and a Subway BLT (I think) that I left in my car too long the day before that turned my insides into toxic waste that morning made me settle on the starch. They did a great job with the place. It overlooks a lake. It's not that much more than you pay for similar things at Wendy's. It was jammed, but, my stuff came out quick (another tip - non-burger stuff comes out quicker). Parking is next to impossible since it's in the same strip mall as Trader Joe's (17-92 near Hillstone). I know they have alot of franchises now, but, this is your only choice around here. Our local boys are just as good though. How much can you really do to a burger? We didn't really need them (or any gourmet burger play), but, I'm sure the NY connection will make them popular for a while.

Club Crawl - Downtown: Aku Aku, Vanity and Falcon Bar

I went to these place in Thornton Park and Downtown on Friday night.


9pm-10pm: Aku Aku - This Tiki Bar above Stardust (same owners) was in the Stardust in Vegas. Now they're both here. It looks good. It opened earlier this year. They serve tons of rums and all those cheezy drinks in those cheezy glasses. I had a Mai Tai for $9. It's a small spot and was mostly full. the staff was personnable.

10pm-12:30am: Vanity - This club across from the cigar bar is on the second level. It always had a line down the street earlier this year, so, I skipped it. No line tonight. It's a hip spot. the bartenders were hot. The club reminded me of a club in Hong Kong. It had a few white faces and alot of international ones. If I wasn't exhausted by a trip to the Keys, I would have had a great time. Drinks were $8.

12:30-1am: Falcon Bar - This place is diagonal from Grafitti Junction on East Washington in Thornton. It's a gallery that serves beer. It wasn't very crowded at that time of night.

*I also drove by a place called Brink that the bald guy from the Sentinel suggested. He forgot to mention that  it is a gay bar. It was on Amelia near the courthouse.

An Tobar, Maitland

I had dinner at this Irish Pub in the Sheraton on Friday. I'll start off by reminding you that I don't like hotel associated spots, Irish Pubs or $4 sodas. That said, it was ok. It's large. It has so many nooks that I have to guess it seats 100+. It looks like a pub knockoff. It's clean. The menu is barely Irish. Four things could be considered typical and two of those are English in origin. I settled on the only thing that was novel. It was a roasted chicken breast on a baguette with Swiss and creamed spinach inside. It cost $11. The chicken was perfectly cooked and large. The creamed spinach is inspired. I've never seen it before. It seems so obvious now, but, kudos for the creativity. It came with a salad or fries. The salad had what you would expect in a salad. It seemed to have been prepped earlier on and suffered because of that. Service was pretty good. They did do that thing where they bring you a refill after you have eaten your meal. The menu is priced to exploit it's hotel connection. It's a hodge podge. I'm not sure if they got lucky on my chicken, so, I can't comment on if they make the banal delicious. It doesn't seem like a "hot spot". I'd wager that it's geezers at happy hour. I went from hating it because of the menu to liking it because of the chicken to being aggravated with it for making my last memory a $4 soda. The wine list can be found at Winn Dixie. The beer list had like three Irish beers. Not a destination spot.

Smokey Joe's, Sanford - Closed

I had a brisket sandwich to go at this barbeque restaurant on Rinehart Rd (across from the Mercedes dealership) today. It cost $9. The meat was dry, tough and flavorless. There was no bark. I think they pre-cut (not on the diagonal) the meat and keep it in a broth bath. This "short cut" ends up giving the beef the characteristics of boiled beef. They said they smoke it all night long. Let's hope that this (bath) is the reason for the sub-standard product and they discontinue the process. It's not like there was a lunch rush. I also think they use the lean side of the brisket. My cuts were very lean. Just some nodules and spines of hard fat on the exterior. It came with a sweet barbeque sauce that seemed store bought. I didn't eat the buttered bun, but, it looked ok. They offer pork, chicken and burgers. They couldn't identify which region their barbeque represents. They have fried tenders and wings and potatoes. The side selection is basic. They opened up a few days ago. They did hardly anything to the interior (Boston Fish House). They added some collages of found art/junk. It's a self service sort of place. They seem nice enough, but, I just smell failure in the air. Maybe it's the fact that it took them months to open their doors and they didn't really have to do anything. Forget to get some permits/inspections? I just smell first time, non-experienced owners that will not have prepared properly for the challenges of owning a restaurant. The food will also have to improve. Right now it's as bad as Woody's and nowhere close to 4 Rivers. As I recommended in my review of the aforementioned, drive the extra exit to 4 Rivers. These pretenders aren't even cheaper.

B & B Caribbean Restaurant, Altamonte Springs

I had a few appetizers to go from this Caribbean restaurant on 436 in between Ronald Reagan and 17-92 on Wednesday. They were cheap, mostly good and came out quick. I had a Jamaican Beef Patty that could have been frozen packaged. It was $1.75. I had Phoulori (10) for $1.25. They were fritters made out of a fine corn meal. They were fresh and not greasy. I think they call this Festival in Jamaica. I don't remember having it in Trinidad. I also had a Doubles for $1.79. It was a chick pea pancake "sandwich" with a curried chick pea puree inside. It was a bit greasy and over spiced, but, it was good. I didn't have this in Trinidad either. The owners are Trinidadian and Dominican (not DR). The menu seem a little more West Indian (Indian) as a result. That's fine by me. Give me your roti, curries, King Fish (Mackerel family) and other fish dishes. I was looking for a Bake 'n' Shark. They also have jerks, stews and other sister island dishes (no ackee). They have Caribbean sodas and a daily lunch special for $4. It was stew red beans which I think is a stew with red beans in it nor just red bean stew. The place was a little bare. I can't recall seeing alot of tables. It's closed on Monday. It was clean. There was one waitress (the daughter) and the mother was cooking the food. It's where an old Jewish restaurant was. There are not many West Indian (if any) on this side of CF. This may be your go to if you want to try it. They have been there for a while.

El Balicon Latino Buffet, Winter Park

I had lunch at this Latin (Puerto Rican) buffet on 436 on Wednesday. It's where an Asian buffet used to be. It's near a Hertz car dealership. The buffet cost $10. They have been open for a month. They had: one station of rices, one station of meat - mostly roasted chicken and some beef (maybe ribs), one station of raw vegetables/salad, one station of desserts, one station of fried junk/sides and one station of soups/menudos and other things. I didn't think there would be enough variety to support a buffet, but, the more I think of it the more it makes sense. Although not healthy, it's not much worse for you than Chinese food. They appeal to the same type of customer (I did see more white working men with what I guess is their staff). The Latin market segment is growing. It's cheap to make. In fact, I'm going to go out on a limb and predict that years in the future Latin buffets will be what brings the communities together. I'm not joking. I'm not sure that they will get the credit, but, they will replace Asian buffets and soften up America's under belly by infusing Latin culture right into the arteries of modern America. You know a way to a man's (woman's) heart? The food quality was ok. The roasted chicken was really the only thing done well (here and generally). I had some bad meatballs and some dinosaur shaped chicken fingers. I had a fish stick that I thought was a mozzarella stick. I had a maduro, a fried yucca stick, a fried calm and some dry pound cake. If I had anything else it was that forgettable. Like most Latin food, the desserts were terrible, the vegetables were an after thought and the beef was a low quality cut and overcooked. I would stick to the things they can't ruin or you can't tell if they are ruined like the yucca, maduro, menudo and the chicken is always good. The inside is the same except that they have some rustic murals now. They moved the two big billboard frames to the front in what appears to be a stage. It's not as bad as I was expecting and I wouldn't mind if all Asian buffets changed into Latin buffets. It's basically oily rice and chicken either way.

Tuk Tuk Food Truck

They were having some food truck event down the street from Wekiva Island when I left on Saturday. I had an order of samosa looking puffs for $6 (for two). It's a Thai truck. I have never seen a Thai puff. They said it was authentic. They were ok.

Wekiva Island, Longwood

I went to this bar/park on Saturday afternoon based on an article by the bald guy at the Sentinel. He wrote it a couple of weeks back. I thought it would be the usual let down. It wasn't. It was pretty great. Now you have to lower your expectations to a point where you expect to have to deal with the great unwashed at one of their alligator farms. There is some of that, but, it's better. You have to take (I think it's Wekiva Springs Rd) the road that connects 434 to 436. The one with Wekiva Springs Park on it. It's right near there. It's on Miami Springs Rd (near the shopping center). You drive a couple of hundred yards down at you hit a dead end. If there is room in the parking lot (they had a sign that said the lot was full, but, it wasn't) you make a right.

They charge a whole dollar to enter (zero for parking). You get a spot on the river where they; rent canoes, paddle boards and kayaks, offer "cabanas" (tented area), free chairs, volleyball, fishing, a food truck and three bars. I had a pulled pork and brisket sandwich from the truck for $9. The brisket was bad. The rest was ok. They had some covered picnic tables to eat your food at.

My first order at the bar (had a hangover and don't usually like to drink in the afternoon) was a Diet Coke. They only charged $1! Same for bottled water. I drank that and then looked around. It was a very representative crowd. I think that women were required to have tattoos. Still, not unexpected for Florida. I didn't bring sunscreen and I had underwear on under my swim suit, so, I decided I would have one drink and leave. I had an artisan beer that was only $3.50. I drank that. I engaged in some chit chat and decided that my party night was now going to be a party day. Subdued party day. There were cops around.

I went back the car and got my towel and changed in the bathroom (they need a changing room) and had one more beer and watched some TV. I then jumped in and out of the muddy river whenever I got hot. It wasn't French Polynesia, but, it was water. For a non-native, the river flora is still charming. The weather was perfect. Canoes, etc glided down the river in a perpetual people parade. The attendees were mostly well behaved and friendly. It was a great afternoon. Like a day at summer camp. I would have liked some lockers so I didn't have to watch my bag. When I felt my non-lotioned skin purpling, I grabbed another beer or two at the bar and made some more chit chat. They gave me one free because of a mis-communication. It was less crowded at six-ish. The crowd became a little older around then. Then night started to fall so I quit while I was ahead.

I heard that they just rebuilt the structures after a fire. They have a building that was closed for a private event that I think they said was the nicest area. The area I was in was really nice. It's all brand new. It has that "bric a brac on the walls" decor. The structures are wood. It's open, but, they have serious fans. You won't feel the heat. They had more than enough bar tenders. They were always attentive and friendly. They have a really nice, enclosed wine bar connected to the "tiki" bar.

I know you are skeptical, but, I'm telling you that it's nice. They told me that they get a crowd around 10pm although they close at 11pm. They are open every day. I'm going back at night and probably anytime I don't feel like driving to the beach. I suggest you do so too. It's easy breezy. You can bring your own gear too. You can even drop a boat in the water. Canoes, etc were only $10 for the whole day.

Food Truck Event - Lake Mary: Curbies, Lahteeno and Ice Cream Social Club

I went to a food truck event at the Heathrow Raquet Club on Wednesday night. It was open to the public. I tried three trucks. The other was a grilled cheese truck and that truck that doesn't serve lobster.

Curbies Sidewalk Cafe - The guy seemed nice enough, but, the "Grouper" Rueben was terrible. I really doubt it was grouper. It was a full filet. Aren't groupers huge? Why do people insist on perpetuating this fraud on the American public. Is grouper that special? If you can't afford to make a profit in it, just don't have it on your menu. I'm sure most people could care a less if you serve snapper or salmon or goldfish instead. Not that I really know what grouper tastes like because it's always something else in reality. The fish I had had a tiny bone in it. I'd guess some junk fresh water fish like Swai. I saw some whitish silver skin in one area. It wouldn't have mattered anyway. It was beyond frozen. It tasted (if that was a taste) of freezer burn. It was also over seasoned with blackened seasoning. It's a bitter (and a should be outlawed) concoction used to mask offensive or non flavor to begin with. It's worse when the cook burns the spices while cooking it. It should be taken off the menu. It cost $10 and came with some limp, half cooked french fries.

Lahteeno Food Truck - I had a Alcapurria that was ground beef in a very fried (brown) corn masa and chicken empanada combo for $5. At least they didn't break the bank. They tasted like every other ones I've had. I posit that this is because they are all bought pre-made from the same source (a mass supplier). No flavors except salt. Terrible.

Ice Cream Social Club - This was strike three. He serves ice cream created from liquid nitrogen. Sounds cool. Tastes terrible. Like chalk and the texture is nasty. He bragged about doing it this way. Isn't this just Dipping Dots in non dot form? Thank God it only cost $3 for a cone-less scoop.