Sweet Frog, Longwood

I had some vanilla ice cream or froyo (I don't care) here today. It sells the aforementioned. They have been open for quite a while. I don't care for the stuff, so, it fell through the cracks. It's fine. It seems clean. They have frog characters. Not much selection. It's on 434 near a Shell station.

Mark's Caribbean Cuisine, UCF

I tried this place for dinner in a decrepit strip mall off University and Dean Tuesday. I had a jerk pork meal to go for $6.50 ($5.50 on the menu and board) and a patty on coco bread for $3. The pork was great. Alot of it. Tender. Not too spicy. Good broth. I had enough left over to eat it with rice for dinner the next evening. It had some plain sliced bread with it that I used on a tuna sandwich the next day. The patty was probably from the frozen food section. The "meat" had the consistency of sludge. It reminded me of passages from William Burrough's Naked Lunch or de Sade's 120 Days of Sodom in which they talk about eating things from the "out" door. Coco bread was ok. Almost like a sweet roll. They have a big selection of traditional Jamaican fare. They have been in business for eight years. The ambiance of the place is nothing to write home about, but, I've seen worse/less clean. The high water mark for food is $15 for snapper. Most things are under $10. Their roti is just the bread not the whole sandwich.

Spoleto, UCF

I tried this assembly line Italian spot off Alafaya and University around ten days ago for lunch. I had the fig, prosciutto and burrata salad for $8 They were out of balsamic (a main Ingredient) and figs. Thye let me know about the balsamic. They subbed in some strawberries for the figs. Unacceptable. The prosciutto was of a low quality. The burrata was ok. The rest of the salad was comprised of arugula. If there was an dressing on it, I couldn't tell. They also had to be reminded to include the bread. And then forgot the fig jam. This is the problem with these places. Numb nuts run it. There is no quality control. It just exists to rob Millenials who think the are too precious to eat at McDonald's. They might get gluten. And they are obviously too lazy or clueless to cook it themselves. So, we get these places. They serve pasta, focaccia and salads. They have wine and beer. It looks nice and modern. A fine place to "spoil" yourself whenever you don't get exactly what you think you deserve every time you want it. Plus you get to get back at Daddy for not loving you enough by having him pay for upcharge. Pass.

Joe's Pizza, Winter Park

I grabbed a slice at this Italian (are there other kinds?) pizzeria two Wednesday's ago. It cost $2 and was fine (big with a spicy sauce). This place replaces another pizza place that was on this spot. It's on Fairbanks across from the new Lombardi's. They have been open for three months. They serve sandwiches, pasta, wings, meals. I'd expect banal mediocrity. No surprises here. They even have the bitter white boy who grew up in a nice community yet still ended up a loser. The guy who calls more successful looking people (pretty much everyone) - "boss". Sorry if I just got everyone's food tampered with.

Latin Square, Downtown

I grabbed dinner to go two Wednesday's ago at this Latin restaurant across from the Grand Bohemian. It was another Latin place I reviewed  three year's ago. I had a small (nice size) Latin Square sandwich for $5. It was a pressed sandwich of shredded beef with sweet plantains and potato stix. It was delicious. The beef was fresh and juicy. They also serve breakfast, quarter chicken, and many Cuban style meals and sandwiches. This is their third year in business. The one problem is that they close at 4pm.

Aki, I Drive - Closed

I must have last been to this Japanese restaurant in a now decrepit strip mall behind that Pirate show arena ten years ago. Then it was considered a top tier sushi spot. The market has improved and this place has gone backwards. It's now just a place. I had a sushi lunch for $9 two Wednesday's ago. The portion was generous if not good. One tuna roll with terrible tuna scraps. One California roll with the wood shaving type of fake crab. One piece of tuna (a little better than the roll), one piece of soft, hot, old, ammonia tasting Talapia (I don't know how my ass didn't explode with that), one piece of shrimp and one piece of ok salmon. A good miso soup and a salad with a soy dressing came along for the ride. The place seats 40. It was about half full at 2pm. The place is 20 years old and looks it. It wasn't much to begin with. Maybe the chef gets his balls back at dinner. I can only suggest it if you just want to get fed now. I think they dropped the pride they used to take to satisfy the lunkheads that ended up eating there. Closed Sunday.

Tapa Toro, I Drive - Closed

I ate at this new tapas restaurant aside the Ferris wheel two Wednesdays ago. It had been open for two weeks at the time. It has one major flaw. It's too damn expensive. I won't go off on how I feel about the value proposition of this type of dining and the acumen of the people who accept it, I will tell you they have a $120 steak. That said, I had a good lunch there (slightly lower price points). I had a fricase (their spelling) of pollo for $19, It consisted of smallish (I think Bell and Evans) quarter of chicken roasted with peas, potato, artichoke and cherry tomatoes. The chicken was cooked perfectly. And that's it. A $30+ lunch (tax and tip) that you can get at any Latin chicken joint for $6. Aside from a film crew, there were two other tables dining. One Brazilian family of ten and a single. The place seats 150+. Correlation between prices and diners? It's a conundrum because they obviously sunk a lot of money in the place. It looks great even with the unfortunate lack of depth (a real rectangle). That means they must have to bring in a lot of money to break even. I hope they can fleece the Brazilians because I think most others will avoid it (because of the prices). The front of the place has a circular room connected to a communal table/bar area. The bar area has those containers in which the Spanish pour a stream of wine into their mouths. The middle has the open grill and kitchen area and some seats. The back has the main room. The front is all windows. Which would be good if the view wasn't an unmowed lawn in front of I Drive. The interior design is nice. Copies of Picasso's, Miro's, Dali's, etc. A Gaudi Park Guell style use of ceramics. Some bullfighting stuff. Frames that have TV's behind them and look like a painting when the TV is off. The tables and chairs are new and I think they were brownish wood. I remember some red drapes. The menu is also a little common. All in all, I think Ceviche or Santiago's Bodego are better values. Take more risks. And those are just examples. I like their approach (the chef came out to see if the meal was good and the service was great and they source well), but, I just would rather not be wasteful with what beneficence fortune allows me. The soda was flat, the lunch menu was scant and parking is still free at the structure next to the restaurant.

Grub Crawl - Altamonte Springs: Zora Grill (Closed) and Red Rooster (Closed)

I had lunch at these two newly opened places on 436 in between Ronald Reagan (rail stop) and 17-92 on Friday.

Zora Grille - Open for a month and named after the Zoroastrian religion of the Persian empire (the one without the suicide bombings), this is a new grill in a new building. I had a lamb "limousine" platter for $12 and a yogurt soda (doogh) for $2. The ground lamb was about ten inches long. They say 8oz. It was perfectly cooked and tasted like lamb, but not too gamey. I just got back from Norway and they offered up all kinds of sausages (including lamb) that tasted nothing like they were advertised as. The platter also came with a huge pile of saffron basmati rice, lavosh squares (instead of pita), a roasted tomato and two sides. I chose hummus and cucumber yogurt. The hummus was home made and I thought it had a fruity flavor that they said was probably impossible given the recipe. The cucumber yogurt was also good. Alot of cucumber and non-watery yogurt. The tomato was fine if unnecessary. They menu mentioned hot peppers with the dish. I didn't miss them if they were forgotten. The "limousine" designation is a term they coined for the shape of the meat. They do a beef one too. They also do two chicken (breast or thigh), one veggie and a ribeye and a strip shish kabob. Also two mixed platters. The prices start at $9 and end at $24. It's a small assortment. Hopefully, that means manageable. The owners (one family) are first timers. The place is a large square edifice with high ceilings. It's sparsely decorated with modern pieces. The furniture is reclaimed. The walls are some kind of pee green. You can see the grill. You order at a counter and they bring it to you. I'm not sure if a tip is expected (not automatic at the register). There were two tables eating at 2pm. One table was Middle Eastern. I was originally betting on a nation with a "stan" attached to it because of the prominence of the proboscises on the men, but, I would now wager they were also Iranian. I'd try it if you haven't had much experience with Persian cuisine or if you are used to the common Greek type menu. Nothing here should scare anyone. Closed from 2:30 to 5pm and on Monday.

Red Rooster - I think this is the fourth restaurant I've tried at this spot beside the gas station across from the light rail stop. Now it is a Philipino/Guyanan menu. It has been open for three weeks. I had a lunch platter for $6. It was a drum and thigh in Adobo sauce (soy, vinegar, ginger) with rice and a side. She really only had a few of the listed sides, so, she let me have a noodle dish as a side. I also had a fried wing (I thought I said 1pc, but, I think she was out of that too). The food was pretty good. Maybe too much breading and an odd spice on the wing. The rice was fresh and soft. The wife is Filipino and the husband is Guyanan (South America). The menu "lists" alot of Indian and West Indian dishes. Plus weird stuff like mac and cheese, pasta, corn bread and baked beans. The place is really for take out. This is an adventurous play. Probably not the highest quality meals, but, home made regional fare that you don't find on every corner. It's affordable.

Cafe Madrid, Curry Ford Rd

I ate lunch at this Spanish/Cuban restaurant almost two weeks ago. It is in a strip mall that has one of those ice cream drive thrus that looks like an ice cream. On the Crystal Lake side. I had the white meat Chicken Almondine for $10. It was good. The chicken was stewed in a salsa. Two pieces. Moist. On the bone. An orchard of almonds. It needed a bigger bowl. It came with white or yellow rice, plantains or tostones, red or black beans, a salad and bread. I chose yellow, tostones and red. I ate alot and still couldn't finish much of the beans or half the tostones and bread. All were flavorful. No problems. They pressed the bread ala a Cubano sandwich. Service (2) was quick and efficient. No language barrier. The place seats about fifty. I showed up way early (before noon) and around eight people came in while I dined. They have been there for 25 years. I would guess it is one of those situations in which the owners are Cuban and there is some Spanish ancestry that they are proud of. Most of the large menu is Cuban. The seafood section is the most "Spanish". I just saw that they also do a "late" breakfast plate and they do a Spanish Omelette. The entrees include multiple dishes of pork, chicken and beef. They have 5 sandwiches. They even do mofongo. The decor is ok. They have a little fake overhang around the bar. I had no complaints. Sometimes you have to worry about the higher priced dishes being treated ham handedly or the ingredients being second or third rate. I would give them the benefit of the doubt.