Chavo, Lake Mary - Closed

I tried to have dinner at this new Mexican restaurant in the strip mall that has Moe's tonight. They were too full of themselves to allot a table (in an empty restaurant at 6 pm) to me. They said they were all reserved. Even if they were, I would have been out the door before they were needed. I was there only out curiosity/pity. I christen them the new Finesse. Another short lived failure. They have already changed chefs. The menu is sparse. The need (Mexican) is over serviced. I predict that they will be out of business by summer. Their only safety net is the depth of the pockets that their "Whitewood" overseers may have at their disposal. Lake Mary may have the most delusional ownership groups in any town in Central Florida. Nowhere are there so many mediocre options that think they are top notch. It's a cauldron of delusion. I predict that this ownership group will find their foray into the area unsuccessful. I like Whitewood, but, it is also empty every time I go there.

While we are on the subject, I resisted lambasting a place called 46 on 46 near I4 in the past. I was just going to let that disappointment slide by forgoing a review. It is also a joke. The place attracts a "hood" element and they misrepresent the prices of things. I would also like to take this opportunity to reaffirm my displeasure with another Lake Mary entity that has somehow managed to persist - The Vineyard.

* I just read a review in the Orlando Weekly. They panned it, so, I guess my apprehension was merited.

Gem Of The Ocean, SSC

I saw this August Wilson play at SSC Friday night. It cost $10. It's the next to last in their ten play tribute to his work. It doesn't cover any new ground. We get it. Slavery was bad. It can explain and excuse every short coming and failed dream since. Whitey's blood wasn't sufficient recompense for the inequity. He continues to put his boot on your throat. If only he wasn't around, you'd live in Eden like they do in Africa. Throw in some obvious metaphors, insipid spiritualism and one line, fifty refrain "songs" and cash that check. It's the musings of an older mind. Most closely personified in the "voice" of an old "sage" - Aunt Ester. That type of ethos. The cast has been seen before. If you like their mannerisms then you like the result. No one seems to be able to "inhabit" their character. It's just "that guy" or "that girl" repeating the lines like they did in the play last year. I realize it's just regional theater. I thank them for their effort. I can just anticipate what's coming at this point. Plus they are usually cast as the same type of person, so the blustery guy is again blustery and the sweet guy is again sweet... The set decoration was at an all time high. The place was about half full. And some idiots near you still can't be off their smart phones for an hour even though they are reminded to be. It's amazing that this town produces so many important people. Why else can't they be disconnected from the multitude for a minute? Oh yeah. The last show was today. So you'll have to take my word on it.

Woody's BBQ, Lake Mary - Closed

I ate dinner at this new (one week)  BBQ restaurant in the strip mall that has Burger Fi on Friday. I had the brisket platter (2 sides) for $9. I chose mac and cheese and corn bread as the sides. It pains me to write this because the area needed a better option than Keller's and the owners are really nice and conscientious, but, they have no clue about what they are doing. I have never eaten at the other outposts under this moniker. I hope they aren't all this bad. I think it was BK that offered up some ribs at one point. This is that bad. The brisket tasted like baked ham. It was bone dry and briny. A disagreeable brine. The fat hadn't melted away. I'm not sure if the cut the use even started with any. You've heard of low and slow. This is high and dry. I was a little worried when the owner told me (in a pre-opening walk through) that he was anticipating a four hour cook time to be adequate. And I think it had a separate smoking procedure that was only an hour or so. In any event, this strategy is just insufficient in its efficacy or it hasn't been perfected it yet. I'm not sure if I'll pay another visit at a later date to find out which is true. The mac and cheese looked and tasted like the one at Publix. I'm not sure if they get it from there or they both get it from the same supplier. The cornbread also seemed like it was purchased from a supplier. They have have four sauces. The hot was awful and needed to be refilled (pump station). The sweet was bad. Both seemed store bought. The place looks like a hip BBQ joint. It's clean and professional looking. The menu is easy to read at the counter. No wait staff helps keep the outlay low. I plowed through my meal because I was afraid of being asked how I liked the food. If I had loitered, I could have watched one of the two TV's tuned to sports. The menu is fairly predictable. Pork, Turkey, Chicken and burgers. The zaniest thing is Brunswick Stew. It doesn't comport to any specific regional loyalty. It seats about fifty. There were three other tables eating around me. If you live in the area, suck up the one exit exertion and go to 4 Rivers.

Grub Crawl - I Drive: Giraffa (Closed), Emporio Brazil (Closed), Kosher Grill, Amor En Pedacos Bakery and Thai Silk

I ate at these places on the south end of I Drive on Tuesday afternoon.

Giraffas - This new Brazilian place in the strip mall with Peter Glenn Ski Shop was the supposed to be the kill shot on my crawl, but, ended up being the biggest miss. It's more "fast foodish" than the other Brazilian places. You order at the counter and the bring it out to you. The selection is also small and centers around burgers. They have steaks (low quality), chicken, salmon and salads too. I had a Picanha Grill for $11. It was a 5 oz steak with three sides. I chose a salad, mashed potatoes and farofa. The steak had a huge spine of fat and tasted minerally. I had a dull grey color and was cooked well (I asked for medium rare). It was definitely not aged. The salad was surprisingly good. It was plated well and was a nice mix of field greens. The mashed potatoes were grainy, salty and too buttered. The farofa was inedible. It's supposed to be some kind of quinoa, etc powder. I don't know how (or why) the Brazilians incorporate this into their meals, but, I just found a new twist on the cinnamon challenge. A soda was also $2.40. A little high. The place seats about fifty. It has a hip decor. Very modern. Even the menus are digital. The place had about eight people there. Half were Brazilian. I find Brazilian food to have a unwarranted premium on their pricing. The quality here was medium low and the pricing is medium high. Plus they don't offer anything unique. I'd skip it.

Emporio Brazil - This "deli" is behind Giraffas. It's an off shoot of some other Brazilian concern on I Drive. I forget which one. They didn't have their permit to cook hot dishes from the man yet, so, I had a few of the "pastries" they had available. I had an "empada" that was a ham and cheese (you could have other fillings) in a glossy triangle pastry. It was fine for $2. I also had a "esfirras" that was a little "biscuit" in a steel mold. It was $2.50. It was filled with hearts of palm. They also gave me some little cheese balls that were ruined by the nuker. It's a small shop that isn't stocked with much so far. The menu will mostly be sandwiches. Good for some grab and go options that are wallet friendly. It had a area for seating.

Kosher Grill - The food truck has a home and it didn't take forty years. They are now across from Boi Brazil and Big Italy in a spot that used to try and sell you $10 baked potatoes. Wonder why that didn't work out? The rent at that spot must be high because it'll still cost you over $7 to get in the game here. I'm talking apps! I think they even raised the truck prices which were too high to begin with. It's a good thing the food is worth it. I had a Sabich because I had never seen it before and wanted someone to ask me if they could have "some of it". It's probably an age old recipe, but, I couldn't help wondering if it was an egg salad play on words. It's eggplant with hard boiled egg in a pita. It tastes like the best egg salad you've ever had. They also toss in hummus, tomatoes, cucumbers and some other sauces I couldn't recognize from the squirt bottles. It's awesome. Huge serving. Great pita. I tried one bite to sample and kept going until I reached fingers. It cost $7.50. The blend even makes the bitter skin of the egg plant a nice layer. Now back to the menu. They still expect you to pay $10 for most sandwiches and $11 for a baguette and $18 for a plate. I love these guys, but, Whitewood (for example) charges $12 for a similar plate. I thought Jews were known to be cheap. These guys don't think so. The inside is a little messy. It looks like guys are in charge. The work station is a mess and right there for everyone to see. They have a whole in the ceiling. There's not much flair inside. It seats about fifty. There were around five people there. They looked like insiders. No confirmation that The Zohan eats here.

Amor En Pedacos - We winnowed it down to "a little bit of love". It's a cute little bakery/cafe across from the Del Taco. I had a "empadao frango" for $3.50. It was a quiche like "pie" that looked like a piece of triple layer cake (it was that high). It was great. I had it room temp, cold and warmed. Worked every way. I hadn't seen this offered in any Brazilian shop before. I had a hearts of palm one because it was the cheapest. they also had a chicken one for about twice as much. Brazilian pricing makes no sense to me. They also had a nice range of other pastries and served little meals. It only seat around 20. It was full. It had a cute, feminine feel. I'd go back for more.

Thai Silk - I went here (and maybe reviewed - I can't remember) when it was Red Bamboo. It turns out it hasn't been a new place all these years. They just wanted to sound more Thai. I had Tulip Dumplings for $8. That's about 2X too much. It's basically a shui mai of pork and shrimp (more pork). They swear it's Thai, but, I've never seen dumplings on a Thai menu in the US and certainly not in Thailand. They were fine. who doesn't like dumplings? It came with a sour/sweet soy dressing. The place seats about 70. It had a few customers. The staff/owners looked Thai. You need to bring at least $10 bucks to be dealt in. See if I wrote a Red Bamboo review if you want to know more. I'm exhausted with this gibberish. It's in the strip mall that has that run down Japanese restaurant building. Right on the corner of I Drive and Kirkman.

McCoy's, OIA

I had lunch at this restaurant in the Hyatt Regency in the airport last Tuesday. Take the escalator up near the TSA ID check. I had a pulled pork sandwich for $11. it sucked. More sauce than pig. The pork was fatty. The cole slaw was mayonnaise with cabbage instead of the other way around. The sweet potato chips were ok. However, they were made EARLY that morning at the latest. They are also too sweet to match with a sweet meat drenched in a sweet sauce. It seats about 100. It has a hip feel. They serve sushi. It's open to around eleven pm. If you get in late and everything else is probably going to be closed, then think of them. That said, I'm sure you'd pay around this much at the over priced food court. Although, I did get one of the cheaper things on the menu.

Grub Crawl - Winter Park & Altamonte Springs: O'Stromboli, The Meat House and Namaste

I ate at these places last Monday afternoon.

O'Stromboli - It has new ownership, but, the results were the same. Bad. I had two slices of pizza for $5. The dough was overworked and resulted in a dense, gluttenous base that could bend knives. It also had air bubbles, so, I think they didn't let it rest long enough. The apportionment of cheese was may too liberal. It was 3 or more centimeters thick. If you are the type of person that thinks pizza is an open faced grilled cheese sandwich and/or you order extra cheese on your Papa John's then this is the place for you. They said they use two types of premium mozzarella. That just makes the ham handedness of the execution even more disappointing. Sometimes less is more. The sauce was sweet. It's a shame because the staff was pleasant and they seem to want to do the right thing. I wish I knew before I ordered that the owner knew nothing about pizza and had to get the recipe from a buddy in New York. Maybe he meant Binghampton. The place seats about thirty. They dressed it up a bit. The menu is a little abbreviated. I wouldn't seek it out. That said, it's across from Stardust in the Leu Gardens area.

The Meat House - I went to this market (mostly meat) near the baseball stadium on the advice of a buddy. He proffered that it had the best cheese steak in town. He was dead on. It's not your typical "sliced" cheese steak. It's cubes of the most delicious steak on a cibatta roll. It's a smidgen smaller than your usual portion size, but, it's worth the trade off. I tried to just have a taste bite while driving home. It didn't make it there. It cost $8. Worth making a trip for.

Namaste - I popped in here just to knock it off my list. I had no idea it would be good. It's in a dump of an old fast food place that has been a ton of disappointing Asian hovels. They said they had to fumigate. They also said they fixed the place up. Not so much. They basically just hung a tapestry in between the kitchen and the dining area. It sounded like they were courting an Indian (it's an Indian restaurant) clientele. Maybe they aren't as fussy. I wouldn't want to spend an evening there. Maybe a quick lunch ($8-ish special meals) or take out (like I did). I had Chicken Saag for $11. That's chicken cubes in a spinach sauce. It could have used more chicken (around 6 pieces) at that price. However, with the whole starvation and cheapness thing, it's hard to "Americanize" them about portion size. The dish was excellent. I don't love cooked spinach and I saved the sauce (after running out of the chicken quickly). I ate that sauce a week later with the basmati rice and amortized my outlay over two more meals. I don't want to guess the calorie count, but, it was too good to toss. A nice surprise. It's near the corner of 434 and 436.

* I should also advise you that a restaurant on 434 called Fogata is closed. You never would have found it anyway.