Grub Crawl - Apopka: Roc City Diner, Heber's Cuban Cafe, Golden Wok Buffet

I tried these restaurants out yesterday. Thankfully, there seemed to be the few restaurants I hadn't tried in A-poop-ka and now I don't have to go back again for a while.

Roc City Diner: I went her because the fat lady at the Sentinel did a piece on them a few weeks back. What a waste of ink. This place blows. It sounded mildly interesting because of a Rochester connection and I didn't eat there the last time I was in Northwestern NY. I had a Zweigles hot dog (which I guess is a regional specialty) for $5. It sucked. It tasted like bologna. They compounded the problem by grilling it. Mmm... burnt bolgna. I topped it with sauerkraut. They grilled this too and changed the brightness of the pickling into a soggy mess. It came with chips. They were the best part. It was about $3 too expensive (as is everything on the menu). I only had the hot dog because I could see from what other people were being served that everything was bad. I even left my seat and had it to go because the place is so dingy. They have shoddy memorabila for decoration. The ceilings have water stains. The tables a chairs looked like they came from the thrift section of a supply house. I know it's only supposed to be a diner, but, I think you would do better at a fast food restaurant. I was going to order some specialty called a "Beef on Weck" for $7, but, it looked worse than an Arby's sandwich (definitely less meat). I suggest you save gas and avoid this place. And punch the fat lady in her stomach if you see her.

Heber's Cuban Cafe: This place is in the same strip mall (Wekiva Riverwalk Plaza on 436) as Roc. It has a weird menu of Cuban dishes and pizza, pasta and breakfast that they say is Cuban style. I had a half Cuban sandwich for $3 (a 12 inch is only $5). It was fine. They pricing is cheap here and they do have a wide variety. I wouldn't make a special trip for them, but, if you live in the area you could do worse. The owner said he has been there four years.

Golden Wok Buffet: This place has always been at the boundary of how far I would explore in the area. It's at the western end of Apopka. I could swear it was called 369 or something similar the last time I went this far. However, they said they have been there for six years. Regardless, it stinks. I had the shrimp and broccoli lunch special for $5. It caused me anxiety. I thought for sure it would end in food poisoning. The shrimp were the mushiest possible. The rice might have been mushier. The sauce was tasteless. This may have been the worst Chinese food I have ever had. The buffet looked equally unappetizing. They had a sign that said "Voted Best in Apopka". I presume that means they are the only one in Apopka. Avoid.  

Gordon's Be Back Fish House, Eatonville

I ordered some items to go from this fish house near to the Zora Neale Hurston House (don't know who she was or that there is a museum dedicated to her...well how about the Birds of Prey sanctuary...heard of that) on Wednesday. I so wanted to be able to assuage my white guilt by championing the only remaining restaurant on that side of the tracks, but, a luke warm report is the best I can do. And I can only do lukewarm because my delay in sampling the food may have caused some of its unpalpability. I had a "trout" sandwich for (daily special price) for $4 and chicken wings for $5.50. I say "trout" because the skin didn't look like trout skin. It had a diamond shaped pattern more typical of the Basa on the menu. It was six pieces on white bread (this Southern affectation is the biggest insult to the culinary world on the planet). Some pieces tasted ok. Some seemed rancid. I have a feeling that the fish was old. It was definitely frozen. The batter had little taste. The skin was soggy, but, I already explained that I may have let it sit long enough to lose it's texture. The wings were average. The sauce was a little tart. The skin wasn't crisp (could have steamed while it sat). It was supposed to be five wings, but, they gave me eight. So there's that. It came with crinkle fries (also not crisp - maybe sat too long). It's hard to recommend a place in which the best thing you had from them was the fries after you topped them with some home cooked chili and left over cheese from your Subway sandwich. I only encourage you not to totally write them off because of my miscalculation on eating time (I was going to eat it with something from one of the food trucks in WP, but, they seem to be all closed down for lunch now) and the fact that the owner couldn't have been nicer. The place is small. It seats about twenty. It is in a little white shack near the new welcoming pillars on Kennedy Blvd (in between the strip mall that houses Copper Rocket and the new condos). It serves fried fish (6 types), wings, shrimp and some interesting desserts. I recommend you lower your expectations and make a day out of visiting the two places of interest on this street and rolling the dice that the food is better hot out of the grill. The neighborhood is often overlooked and can deliver a diversion. Plus you can see where they spent some of your TARP money.

Burgerfi, Winter Park

I had lunch at this burger joint that opened over the summer on Wednesday. It is near Rollins College on Park Ave across from the 7-11. I had Single Cheeseburger for $4.50 and a Cry and Fries for $5. The burger was pretty good (like 5 Guys quality). It was a tad overcooked. The patty was a little bulbous (press your thumb in the middle like Rachael Ray to flatten it out). It made it appear to be (as Dave Attell quips about penises) "tiny, Tiny" at first glance. It wasn't huge, but, bigger than a McDonald's burger. They gave you a large choice of free toppings. The ones I chose (lettuce, tomato, raw onion and catsup) were fresh. The bun was sweet, fresh, spongy and came branded. The Fry and Cry was an order of fries and onion rings together. The fries were what I like to call "dark meat" fries. They have the skins on them and like dark meat tend to be a little gamey and soft. In fries, they seem to be harder to get crispy than their pale brethren. These were predictably soft. The onion rings (3 large) were crisp. But, I really only have one place where I like the rings - Carl's Jr. These were to cut too thick for me to enjoy. I want more crust to onion. I basically want a Funion. That's me. The menu has variations on burgers, dogs, ice cream/custard, beer and wine. The dogs are a little expensive at $3.50+. They have an interesting kobe beef dog and a chicken apple dog.  They have quinoa, angus, brisket burgers. The booze is marked up three times retail (pretty usual). They have a "secret" menu that is so secret the print it on the back of the take out menu. The place is comfortably hip. They have a video menu. The place is light wood and steel. They have an outside patio (on the sidewalk) decorated with high quality colored, plastic chairs and tables. It was clean. It must seat 100+. There were about 30 people there at 2pm. It was a rainbow coalition. They played music. There is a large fan outside that looks like it came off a B52. The service (you order at the register and they bring it to you) was friendly and prompt. It didn't seem like a tip was expected. I expect it to be a giant hit. It's so close to the college that they can exist on that market alone (until the first fraternity drunken brawl). But, it also will appeal to hipsters and the usual Winter Park crowd. It has sister locations (4) in south Florida. I wouldn't cancel your plans elsewhere to experience it, but, try it at some point if you long for 5 Guys or In and Out Burger. Parking is an issue. Also didn't love the $3 sodas.

PSA - Papaya Seeds

After escaping purgatory for the summer (in which I added Persian, Burmese and other ethnicities to my food vocabulary), I'm ready to bore you with more local reviews. However, I'll start you with a health tip.

I saw this segment on Dr. Oz in which he says a huge majority of people have intestinal worms and don't realize it. They anchor themselves in your intestines. They sap your energy, give you "issues" and bloat you, etc. Many people ascribe the symptoms to gluten allergies or ciliac disease or certain foods or just plain lethargy. You can get rid of them by eating 1/4 cup of papaya seeds a day for two weeks. I'm pretty sure you have to chew them up for it to work. Do a search of it online for more info. You Tube has some testimonials.

I already feel much better and I've only been doing it for 3 days. They taste like pepper. Even if you don't have this issue, they work great to flush your system (in about 12 hours) and trim your waistline. You don't get diarrhea, but, it does make you poop. Make sure you have easy access to a rest room while you are on this regime. It's cheap (a big guy at Walmart cost like $3 and gives four days worth of seeds), natural and effective. At worst, you force yourself to eat some lovely papaya. Supposedly, the rise in imported foods, eating raw/organic food (like sushi) and increased travel to foreign lands are the causes.