2015 Favorites List

I finally (after eating at almost every place) came up with a way to placate those who want my thoughts condensed into their essence. This is a list of the places I liked the most this year. It isn't a "Best" list. I hate having to edit this thing on closures alone. I'm not maintaining a rankings system. I chose three categories based on price. The lower the price range the lower the expectations too. However, some of those "value" establishments may be better than those above them. *I would have a $$$$ ($50+ per person) category, but, I didn't go to any that made the list. Some places were good, but, their pricing was out of line. All these places justify their price points.

The listing is in no specific order. Use the search function to refresh your recollection of what I said about them or where they are. It's funny how representative they are in terms of location and ethnicity. I didn't plan it that way.

$$$ - Kappo (Closed/Moving), Osprey Tavern, Tapa Toro, F&D, Golden Knife (Closed), Boathouse, Al Fresco, Dally in the Alley (Closed)

$$ - Ana's Kitchen, New Go Hyang Gip, Mynt, Lombardi's, Yummy House, Dolphin View

$ - Mrs Potato, Mi Raza, Lechonera El Jibacito #2, Patacon Con Todo, Wake Up Cafe, Blaze, Pizza 1905 (off the list)

Neighborhood Eatery, Downtown

I grabbed a Koagie to go yesterday at this American cafe with a Korean slant. It is on N. Magnolia in the corner spot that recently was a Middle Eastern and a pizza place and a cheese steak place. The Koagie is a bulgogi inspired cheese steak. It cost $7.50. The beef was good. Thicker than steak-ums and thinner than usual bulgogi strips. It's the perfect thickness. I'm not sure if they shave it or not. The meat had no gristle or fat like in regular bulgogi. The flavor was ok. It came with sauteed onions and some kind of cheese. I think the menu mentioned a garlic sauce. The roll was about one half of a spongy long roll. They did stuff that half though. The menu is smallish. Cheese steaks, some Korean platters, sausages, finger foods. They had a steal of a Korean platter that came with an egg roll and soda for $9. Loaded fries were $5. They had Korean soda for just over a buck. It has been open since March. They didn't do a thing to the place. It looks clean and has a nostalgic Fifties decor left over from one of the previous iterations. It has seating. It is only open during the day and I think during the week.

Grub Crawl - Thornton Park: Raw and Juice'd

I went to these two health conscious establishments yesterday because the one I wanted to cross off the list is now dinner only. I was down there to waste time before the Russell Athletic Bowl. I didn't go. It was too damn hot. Plus they wouldn't sell tickets to the upper bowl and the seats they wanted $67 for had no backs and were in the end zone. I really can't think of another stadium that closes off the cheap seats entirely. I wonder why their games are almost always empty. Way to lose out on all that non-ticket revenue geniuses. Looks great on TV too when you see an empty stadium. Really promotes the reputation of the city.

Raw - This place is next to Graffiti Junction down E. Washington. It's cookie cutter. However, I did learn two things by eating there. One. You can make a decent "chicken salad" wrap out of chick peas. Two. I now know why the MBA's at the cable, phone, theater, etc companies (basically any company losing market share) choose to soak their existing customers as their business model. They all are little twits whose parents eat at these places and shop at Whole Foods. They are conditioned to believe that you must fleece to survive. And of course rationalize it that morally this is more justifiable than some other "invented" injustice - like eating animals or income inequality of the owner. In this case, the fleecing was less obvious in the wrap. It was only $7. That's fair. What isn't fair is the prices for anything liquid. I'm not seven, so, I no longer need a disguised milkshake. It doesn't affect me. I just sick of people shelling out money they then bitch they don't have enough of on this crap. The wrap had raw, red onion and cranberries in it. It was fat. Service was good. They also refuse to print a receipt. How noble. You saved a tree, so, you can smoke it instead. The food isn't the only thing raw. So is the hypocrisy/inconsistency. They have been there for two years. Does that count as sustainable?

Juice'd - Here is another superfluous juice bar in a bar where at least three other superfluous establishments have already crashed and burned (on N. Summerlin near the 7-11). They don't have food though. It's liquid refreshment. Even more baby friendly baby food for adult babies. I bought a tasteless iced tea for about $2.50. That was by far the cheapest thing and I think most things were cheaper than Raw. I don't think they changed a thing from the crepe place that was here. I walked by here on Halloween and it wasn't here. They have been open some time in between then and now.

This N' That Eats, Antiques District

I grabbed an iced coffee at this small cafe where The Alpine used to be yesterday. It has a new owner. It's still just sandwiches and salads and coffee. The space inside was finally realized. I'm not sure if that happened while it was Alpine or not. The guy seemed to care - made his own chips. The coffee mad me sick (probably from the ice - CF swamp water). He served it in a regular to go cup and the coffee started tasting of it.

Baoery, Thornton Park - Closed

I had dinner at this Pan Asian restaurant where City Fish used to be on Saturday. It's next to Shari Sushi. I'm not sure if the holiday factored into the lack of execution or if there is a larger problem, but, my main complaint was how long and in what order they delivered the food. Most items on the menu are simple, "knock out" dishes and the ones I ordered really only required assembly or a quick oil bath. I had an order of Dragons Edamame (pan sauteed in sesame oil and chilis and served in the shell) and some pork and shrimp dumplings cooked similarly and a pork belly bao (Jade Emperor). I had already sipped through a full glass of wine when they finally delivered something. The place was not that full. It was the largest of the dishes (the bao) and probably should have been designated the main course. It cost $8. You received two of the them. One was lean. One was fatty. It came with cucumbers and kim chi and cilantro. The buns were a little flat/dense. For those who don't know, baos are served on a steamed flour/sugar bun. They can suffer from poor execution in the same way a baked roll can. These were sub par. The pork was ok. The flavor was ok. You'd probably do better at an average Chinese restaurant. They also only have four choices. Not acceptable if you are going to represent yourself as the "Baoery". I do applaud them for jumping on a trend that is only a decade old though. No one else around here is even that hip. The edamame were great. A simple idea that I think I saw done in California. They should create a menu of these and rename the place Ed-ery. They cost $5. A big bowl. They came out twenty minutes after the bao. With them came the dumplings. I guess I should of anticipated that they would be fried and not steamed - Chinese vibe. But they also had so many Japanese (Ramen) and Korean (Kim Chi, bulgogi), etc dishes I mentally misprepared my stomach. There were 4 of them. They cost $7. They were ok. I would also like to do a class action or injunction against all restaurants that list these as having shrimp in them. If they do, it is not enough. If they do it is a paste. If they do, it is a waste. You only taste pork. It had a nice slaw on the side. I would have ordered more, but, they kind of lost interest in me (and everyone who entered after 9 pm). The place looks cute. The middle is almost all bar. This is kind of a waste if the staff is going to mentally check out at 9. A bar that big and the snack like menu makes me think they would like it be more of a bar (ie late night) than a restaurant, But who am I? They have some kind of crate thing over the bar. One wall has a giant Buddha (from close up) mural. The ceilings are black. The walls are some shade of red. The tables/chairs are black (new). They have a patio. The wine list was not full of the same mass produced wines that stifle customers at most places. The craft beer and sake choices also had some depth and obscureness. Service was polite. I would guess that the problems had more to do with some overwhelmed Napoleon in the kitchen than with the wait staff. If they can get their act together it will be a fine, casual place. I think they have been open for around a month.

Car Insurance Tutorial

This is a brief summary of a quick exercise that saved me 25% off my already low car insurance. I also received lower deductibles and full coverage. I had dropped comprehensive coverage on my old policy to try and keep my outlay the same. They just kept proving the maxim that insurance companies will soak you if they think you are too lazy to shop around. I pay for six months at a time.

I started with Geico. They had blown my old policy out of the water about ten years ago. That rate was negotiated by block heads (or crooks on the take) at my old job (company car). My rates at Geico have steadily climbed. I would call and ask for discounts for driving under 3k miles in year, etc. Commercials and articles always say you get a discount for that. They never budged. Always said I was at the low point already. When I called this time and threatened to drop them, they just laughed and gave me some BS about having a low rate already and fraud in Southern Florida and their policy of not raising your rates after accident #1. Guess who seems to be paying for that policy and Warren Buffett's (the champion of the working man) greed. Good drivers like us.

So, I did the bare minimum and went to the Progressive site and filled out a simple questionnaire. They didn't even ask for alot of personal info and seemed to have most of my car's info in their data banks. They came back with three quotes for different levels of coverage (including an apples to apples one). It was less. I tinkered with some of the categories to get a better plan. They put most of their cost into the Bodily Injury category (the biggest potential liability anyway). Geico splits the charges up over all six or so categories. At Progressive it's only a couple of bucks to change/improve almost every coverage. Geico charges more. Progressive also let's you type in what you will/can pay and then the software makes you a policy. I upped my Each Person or Occurrence by 100k and Property Damage doubled without cost.

I don't know how difficult they will be to deal with if I make a claim. I assume all insurance companies are reluctant to pay anyway. Anybody see About Schmidt? The one issue I had was that they didn't take Amex, so, I lost out on the points and the float. Small price to pay. And greedy Geico has now lost a sure thing who is about to buy a new car that will need a policy. An additional one. You go Flo.

*5/23/2016 - The jerk offs raised my next bill 25%. Back to Geico price. Flo is about to get dumped. Looks like she is a pumpkin after all. Teaser rate con.

Zona Fresca, Winter Park - Closed

I grabbed an assortment of items at this Mexican mini- chain (South Florida and NY/NJ) next to TR's on Monday. It's on Lee Rd and 17-92. It is the most West Coast like experience of the the options we have in CF. The closest to that are Del Taco (only because they are a West Coast chain and not because they represent that cooking) and La Salsa (their menu has become increasingly generic). I had pozole (soup) for $4 and a machaca (shredded beef) soft taco (usually eaten in a burrito - especially if you were my roommate and it was three am and the term roach coach didn't alarm you) for $3 and chicken taquitos for $5. The pozole was way too salty. Even diluting it with water failed to help. A nice amount of maize and chicken though. The beef was good in the taco. I think it is stewed with peppers. The amount of two Chipotle barbacoa tacos (unless you are gay or pierced or enjoy food born illness - then they give you more). They added crumbles of what was supposed to be anejo cheese. The taquitos usually come with rice and beans. I asked to have them without and they charged me for three side taquitos. That also seemed to dq the sour cream and gauc, so, they were bland. Had to employ some emergency hummus. The menu also has more Southern Californicated regulars like fish tacos and shrimp, and noplales (cactus). I would have tried the fish tacos, but, I can't resist taquitos. They remind of when I would come home from my internship at a talent agency and grabbed a guac smothered batch from the local Mexican place called Carmel's. This place will never rival the "shacks" or food trucks of Southern California. But, it's the most similar that you will find in the area. I'm not saying this style is better. It took me years to accept any kind of seafood in a taco instead of the "authentic" packet seasoned ground beef tacos in hard shells with cheddar cheese. However, now you can sample and pervert your palette. And they have the usual suspects for the wimps. The place is big. High ceilings. Pastel colors. Pricing is ok. They have seating. It's clean. They have a salsa bar (Tip - if they have pickled carrots it is legit) that was slightly stale. The owner appears to have spent some time in SoCal. It's authentic, yet of the times. Oh yeah, they threw two bags of not bad chips. They have been open for two months.

TR's Fire Grill, Winter Park - Closed

I had lunch at this offshoot of Tony Roma's on Monday. I had fried chicken with mashed potatoes for $8. The chicken was a breast/wing section and was double fried. I'm not sure if they set out to do that way, but, it was crisp. I question their intent because it seemed like this may have been a case of refrying yesterday's yard bird over doing twice within the hour. I cite this concern over the dryness of the meat. That aside, the portion was nice and the quality of the bird seemed good. It wasn't a juiced out Franken-bird or a caustic Creature From the Brine Lagoon. The crunchy skin had a nice hint of agave syrup. The potatoes were real. Chunks in the mash. The texture was glue like and the flavor was a bit off. They were obviously overworked and I think the cream in the recipe went bad. It had a sour taste that I can't blame on the chicken gravy. Once again, I hope this isn't evidence of using stale ingredients or failing to discard unsold meals. The dish also came with some barely pickled pickles.

The menu is small. It is one of those three column menus that "finer" dining gastro pubs adore. The dinner menu is pretty similar to the lunch. It has some chops and steaks. The prices on both are good. The steaks get a little expensive, but, the rest of the menu only reaches the teens. I do have a problem with a $3 soda. Think of the injustice of being charged $3 for half a cent of chemicals when some idiot raised a chicken and grew potatoes and another idiot picked and packed them so another idiot could ship them to another idiot that distributed them to another idiot to cook them (to a genius who ate them). A 3 to 8 ratio hardly seems fair.

The decor is nice. It (like the rest of the place) is straight out of the "emulation" playbook and charged with exuding warmth. You are greeted by a fake fireplace behind the hostess stand. A show case of their best wines on your left. The room is wood on wood. Fake wood floor tiles and wood around the walls. The chairs and tables are wood. Different tones of wood. They have a bar area for the sports guys (filled with Scotch, etc) and a chef's table "bar" for the food nerds (although you pretty much just see salads getting tossed (unprison wise). The room has different eye levels. Booths then high tops then tables then more booths. The room has flow and privacy at the same time. They even have a little, curtained off private room. They have patio dining with a fountain view. They accent the place to seem "artisinal". Things like herbs in pots with their names hand written on them and the de rigeur iron chandelier with old timey, factory bulbs. It's almost too perfect. A kind of Stepford restaurant. Although, I didn't see the original (movie) and barely paid attention to the Matthew Broderick/Nicole Kidman one, so, I'm not sure if that is a good analogy.

Here's another bad one. The longer I stayed there, the more Coughlin's assessment of young Flanagan's bar concept in Cocktail ran through my head - "So, you are going to bring the corner bar to every suburban shopping mall in America. Complete with it's own surly bartender and local drunk". There is nothing wrong with this place. It just may be too perfect. Too de-constructed and re-constructed. I do have an antipathy towards commoditization. I guess because I can't then say mine is better. I have to acknowledge though, that the people who are deploying these restaurants (ie Firebids) are getting damn close to imitating the real thing. An accomplishment that the first gen like Chili's, Applebee's and even Tony Roma's, fail to do. I once had an argument over chocolate chip cookies with some nitwits. I said that I thought a machine should potion out the exact same amount of chips in each cookie. They liked the idea of chance. Now putting aside the reality that these "extra chip expecting positivists"  would bitch until the end of days if they got shorted a single chip, I think I am guilty of the same logic here. I'm consistently inconsistent. I should like the reliable, repeatable experiences. I guess I just don't appreciate that they try and trick you into thinking they are a one off (ie putting owners and chefs names on the menu). However, I understand why they do it.

So, that is a long way to go for you to hear that it was a good value. It could be a nice switch from the cafe like Coop (similar menu). It's next to the Miller's Ale House (in the fail column) on 17-92 and Lee Rd. It has been open for two months. Service was good. They make everyone dress in unis. It seats about a hundred. Parking is no problem. Just get the food right next time.

Lechonera El Jibarito #2, Orlando

I went to this new place (1 week) on 436 and 50 on Wednesday on my way back from the airport. Had some nice abalone, non-frozen King Crab (still sucks), hake, salmon in Chile, but whiffed on locating some red sea squirts and eel broth. Actually located them at the Mercado Central but was out of time and money by that point. Back to business. This is a Puerto Rican joint. An outpost of a place in Kissemmee (still can't spell it). My tum tum was still jet lagged and it was a surprisingly hot 87 degrees, so, I just grabbed a half pound of roasted pork for later, It cost $4.50 ($9/lb). It was great! I went to 4 Rivers later and I think I'd choose this in a taste off. Even versus their brisket. They gave me (I think) a sampling of the animal. A chop, a rib, some belly, some skin, and a tenderloin slice. That melange would have been welcomed enough just for the diversity, however, did I say it was great? Buttery, porky goodness. Not overcooked yet crisp. Different hues of meat and types of fat. If you like that.  I'll bet you can specify which part you want if your Spanish is better than mine. I'll try next time. Maybe it's not the best idea to have people who only speak one language on the front lines? You'd think that since it is a "territory" that they would learn a little English. Especially if they had aspirations to say - move to America! I wonder if we send them money for public education? Anyway. The place was pretty packed for 1pm and being so new. Mostly expats. Some gringos. It must have a following. The guy in front of me said he knew of the one in Kissammee (maybe that's correct. Hannukah and Kaddaffi are easier to sound out!). He must have liked it well enough to come here. They have a ridiculously cheap roasted chicken special ($4) during the week. It comes with sides. The menu is small enough to ensure quality. Mofongos, the usual crazy vegetables, baked stuff, desserts, rice, beans, etc. They serve platters. I saw some in the usual clan shell containers and then three sizes of "buckets" on top of the counter. I'm not sure what is for what. They sell meat by the pound. No sandwiches (less something called a El Jibarito). They gave me a slice of baguette with the meat. You can see they roast a whole pig. Some were chillin' at the counter (behind glass). It's in the spot that I think was a High Tide Harry's and then some Turkish place. You can't miss the color scheme. Puerto Rican flag painted on the roof. I thought it would be gross inside. It wasn't. Actually cute. I mean it was probably first a fast food place so there is only so much you can do. They added some folksy, stained wood tables that seem hand crafted. They painted. They walled off the back of the restaurant and added a screened patio with a fountain. It was clean. They were nice. I'm going back for the chicken, a second round of Miss Piggy and a whole lot more once they translate the half of the menu I didn't recognize.

A&D Buffalo's, West Colonial Dr

I went to this place on 50 (in a strip mall near the Police HQ) after the football game on Saturday. They brag that they have the "best wings and cheese steaks in town", so, I had to get a combo with both. It cost $8. 4 wings and a CS. I was ready to write 'Ahh no and ahh no" (regarding their being the best) before I tried them. Not bad. And even more impressive when you see the old Mexican restaurant they are located in and the part of town (and crowd). They also serve burgers, gyros, fish, shrimp and fried rice. All cost $8 if paired with wings. Business was pretty brisk. I'm not sure why you would HAVE to go here, but, it wouldn't kill you if you did. I've been driving past this place for years and I always say I'll see if it is the "best". Now you know.

2015 FHSAA Football Finals, Citrus Bowl

I went to the first weekend of the high school football finals on Saturday because I'm going out of town this week. I saw the 3A finals at 1pm. It was the "hired help" from Trinity Christian (Jacksonville) versus slightly less of the "hired help" of American Heritage (Delray). I know what you are going to say. These boys aren't brought in to provide entertainment for their white overlords. They just happen to be good at sports also and it's all about opportunities for the "under-privileged". And I would say you are absolutely right. This gives the regular students parents the opportunity to pay for two students so their kid won't get hurt actually getting in the game.

I think Delray has had some ballers in the past, but, they got smoked 30-3. TC had five guys over 300 lbs and one guy at 389! Plus Delmar's OC had the mind of a checker player. It took him forever to call a play and they were usually bad. They said the attendance was 1800. Half of that. I really hate when they lie. And such a pathetic lie. Ooh. 1800! What a showing! I thought 900 was good, but, 1800 gets me moist.  Most of the attendees were the parents of the hired help. So that shows how buying a championship energizes the community. Onward Christian soldiers!

They are also still dicks about roping off areas. You used to be able to sit anywhere. Not anymore. They even made the first row a reserved area that no one used. Probably because no one was told you could purchase this option. Tickets are $12 and they take cards now. Parking is still a rip at $10. They have four more games next weekend. You won't hear about them. I think I'm the whole marketing plan.

Yamasan, Mills Ave

I had lunch at this new (twelve days) Japanese restaurant on Mills near Virginia on Saturday. I was going to try someplace downtown, but, those jagoffs had it closed off for another of their pointless events. I had a two roll lunch special because I wasn't mentally prepared for Japanese food and the prices were a bit high. This is pretty much the only raw fish special that is competitively priced and it's above average at $10. I had a salmon and avocado and spicy yellowtail roll. The salmon was better because it had fewer scraps that require a spicy sauce to conceal. They were fine. Long, cigar shaped rolls of eight pieces. It came with a tasty miso soup with fried tofu "cracklings" and a salad. Nice bowl. The plate the salad was served on was ice cold. I'd guess it was a remnant from last night's service or they prep these by the boat load in advance. Not good either way. It was mixed greens instead of just iceberg. That was a plus. Some of the leaves had moldy, brown, wet patches though. That was a minus.

 I could write more about the sushi - acceptable rice, but, the real story here is the menu. If they can do what they set out to do then this place will be special. Their menu is a compendium of Japanese cooking techniques with some curious risks. They do all of the following: tempura (agemono), udon and soba (menrui), hibachi, rice (gohan-mono), tiradito, poke, stone grilling (ishiyaki), shabu shabu and sukiyaki (nabemono), kaiseki and individual dishes with special techniques. They have "odd" ingredients like sea snails, foie gras, monkfish liver, truffles, etc. They do tartare ala Nobu or Morimoto. I was told they were cutting back the menu already, so, don't blame me if this list is misleading. The place is in front of the now defunct Segafreddo. I swear Orlando's restaurant scene is one giant game of Jenga. One place has to close to allow another to open. The interior is as disjointed as the menu. They have:  rough stone tile walls near black tile accents, white and black chairs with white ceiling and black floor, white booths, yellow faux marble sushi bar, bamboo light shades, blue lighting through yellow faux marble, wood, plaster mountain on the wall etc. It's like they ran out of material a number of times or the interior decorator wanted a show room to display every design concept available. They also are a little different with their choice of potables. They go heavy on wine. It's not a bad selection of low to medium priced bottles (or should be - I didn't check the prices). Not the usual suspects. Service was nice and they seemed to be busting my waitress' balls, so, that may indicate an ethos of expectation that serves the customer well. I'd suggest you try this place when you are more in the mood for the non-sushi items. You can get a sushi lunch special anywhere. Come here when you are ready for some serious action. And I hope they will deliver. Ohh, I have to mention some cute misspellings on the menu - flute (fluke), poiver (au poivre) and slamon. Maybe the salmon is slammin', but, I get credit for the name if it becomes a thing. And Yama means mountain. Ain't no yama high enough...

Maru Sushi and Grill, Sanford

I had lunch at this mostly Japanese restaurant at the back corner of the Seminole mall (behind the Ale House near Books A Million) today. They fancy themselves a medium high level experience judging by the prices. I settled on the $12 sushi lunch special and prayed the 6 pieces of nigiri (and California roll) wouldn't be slop. I asked the waitress what it would likely be and she couldn't be bothered to ask the guy making it (in an empty restaurant) who was two feet away what it would be. Instead she acted (or just was) dumb. My apprehension was misplaced. I got the obligatory tuna, salmon and shrimp. They were the low lights. Flossy, tail meat tuna. Fatless, rubbery salmon that looked like the decorative samples they put out at certain places. I've never seen such a piece of salmon. I can't imagine what part they took it from. The shrimp was the same stuff everyone sources. The other three pieces were - yellowtail, albacore and fluke. I think it was fluke because it was so white, but, it seemed too soft. Maybe a tank fish like tilapia (except it would have bands of color). Anyway, they were all fresh and good. The rice was a bit fluffy. The packing of it was a wee loose and had "tails" that fell off when you dipped. The miso looked cool with bits of seaweed that looked like diced scallion. The taste was bland. The salad was swimming in dressing and water. They also have a few, Korean, udon and teryaki and fried Japanese "all star" dishes. A few "extras" on the generic sushi selection. Your usual overpriced rolls. The takeout menu says the nigiri ranges from $6 to $8. I thought I saw alot of that stuff at a dollar more on my menu. And therein lies the dilemma. Is it worth an extra fifty percent over the value competition? I'm not sure. The "experience" isn't as compelling as an Amura (which is also a medium high) and quality isn't up to a Rangetsu, Dragonfly or Sushi Lola let alone a Hanamizuki. If they dropped their prices a bit, I might be more energetic in recommending them. However, they have survived in no man's land with no marketing of publicity for three years (I never heard of them - just stumbled on them). People did eventually come in while I was there. They were cocky/rude enough not to seem desperate. I guess you will have to judge for yourselves. The place seats about sixty. It's clean. They have a more than basic selection of soft booze. They have other lunch specials ($10-$15). Closed on Sunday. $2.50 for a can of Coke.

Grub Crawl - Altamonte Springs: Yummy House and Lin Garden

I stopped at these two Chinese restaurants on 436 just south of the mall yesterday afternoon. The first is in a strip mall behind a BK. The other is in a diagonally adjacent strip mall next to the hospital with a Duffy's and a Too Jays. It was a yin and yang experience.

Yummy House - They took over the Pearl or Eastern Pearl of whatever it was called six months ago. They seem to be the shit on the Gulf Coast if you believe the pub they cite. I found it to be very good. In line with that pub. And if it means anything, I used to really like the old place and I think they may be a smidgen better. I had salt and pepper shrimp for $10 and a lunch special of basil scallops and shrimp in black bean sauce for $9. The first dish was on the appetizer list. I can only guess because it didn't come with a side. You can see it cost more than an entree, but, it deserved to. Fifteen shrimp of good quality. I didn't love that they came deep fried in batter, but, it was tasty. I've usually had them stir fried in the shell (often butterflied) so you can see the coarse sea salt and black pepper. Their way is ok. They piled fried garlic and scallions and a few slivers of jalapeno on top. The batter on some of the shrimp was not cooked through. The entree was less generous. Three shrimp (same quality) and three scallops (fresh). They made up for the lack of stars with a large supporting cast of mushrooms, asparagus and sauce plus two piles of rice. They also refilled the soda that came with the entree. The menu is huge. No dim sum or dumplings though. They have clay pot dishes. I almost tried a fried chicken with walnuts and a cream sauce. My gag reflex won out over my curiosity. Plus I just watched an Owen Wilson movie set in Thailand and it put me in the mood for something that sounded Thai-ish. Prices are all over the place and some don't make sense ($7 for a grouper lunch special and more for most soups?), but, it's isn't unfair. You can really make out if you order correctly. I don't think they did a thing to the inside. It's clean inside and had a respectable crowd. Service was pleasant and efficient. I was apprehensive when I saw that the signage (really hard to see) had changed. I also realized how long I had neglected that place. I didn't need to worry. It is in even better hands. Even if they won't do shrimp dumplings. I hope to make my return before another ownership change.

Lin Garden - I may even have reviewed this place before. I thought it was ok as far as take out Chinese place go. The Szechuan Chicken I had made me rethink that good opinion. It took way too long. The chicken was that pounded out crap that looks like thick chicken skin. It might as well have been chicken with broccoli for all the taste the sauce had. And no heat. The fried rice was ok. Plentiful. It came with soup or soda at $6. I had the wonton soup. It was ok. It looks like every other take out place and has the same exact menu.

Grub Crawl - Disney Springs: The Boathouse, Erin McKenna's Bakery NYC and Vivoli Gelateria

I went to these spots at Disney Springs (formerly Downtown Disney) in between sessions of the basketball tournament on Thursday. They are in between the Rain Forest Cafe area and the House of Blues area. Central. They repositioned the barriers so now this area (nearer the lake) is open to pedestrians. I still can't believe this area is still under construction though. Hopefully President Trump won't use these urban planners to build his wall.

The Boathouse - I never really imagined I would go to a duplicate seafood place (Fulton's) down here, but, I read about it in the Sentinel and I was already down here. I just had a tuna poke for $18, It was more of a tartare. They minced the ahi too finely and it wasn't the greatest quality. Something gave me explosive diarrhea a few hours later and I'm betting it was this. It also didn't seem to have the sauce described on the menu. They wrote - soy vinaigrette. It tasted like that viscous, sugary Asian pepper dressing you get with a fast food salad or in certain ramen packets. It also had a base of pureed avocado. It was a biggish serving formed in a circle. They also jammed me for nearly $4 for a soda. The menu is pricey. They have a decent raw bar. Although it's around $4 per shrimp or oyster as examples. The place looks great. They have a motor boat you can sit in inside the dining room. They have boat motors on the wall. Lots of shiny wood. I sat on an outdoor patio island on the lake. The car boat terminal is right beside it and you get a sunset view. Service was nice. It has been open since June. I do have one question for all restaurant owners with a bar. Why don't you wash your dishes at my table? I mean I have to watch you do it at the bar, so, what is the difference? Why don't we free up some bar space and have those glasses cleaned where I can't see how little care is taken with them and how close I am to getting collateral herpes. And it might even serve the dual function of freeing the bartender up to tend to customers. I liked the place. It's overpriced, but, you've probably been ass raped by Disney for days, so, another inch won't cause much more bleeding. And if you are smart just go for a drink.

Erin McKenna's Bakery NYC - I grabbed a brownie cupcake because I knew Tony Romo was going to get hurt and he would need "crownies" to become a real thing if he was going to stay in the public eye. It was ok. The mocha topping was sour and too thick. Balance anyone? It was moist, so, lots of sugar. It cost $5. It was smallish. I may have been to the original store on Broome St on the LES, but, I don't remember it being that renowned in NY circles. It's a chain now I guess. They also serve cookies, bites and they had pumpkin pie on Thursday. That may be a one time deal. I think they also had some non-sweets. It's across from the Boathouse. They just opened too. I think a month ago. No seating.

Vivoli Gelateria - Another thing I usually avoid as much as cupcakes. However, the two flavors I had were good. It was $5 for a "piccola". I don't know why they say "piccola" because the next word is "gelato" which is a masculine noun that it describes and therefore the ending should be an o not an a. Maybe the word it describes is an understood, yet absent "cup" and that is feminine. I can't remember which word they use for ice cream cups (you did know gelato is ice cream, right?). Of course this faux Italian spot can't say "small" or else the price falls to $2. The cup was multo piccolo. Even with the tiny (piccolo) spoons, it was about six tastes of each. I had chestnut and a rice pudding something. They had many (20+) flavors.  I think they had some coffee, etc. They are new. To the right of Boathouse if you are exiting from there.

Advo Care Invitational, Disney

I went to the first round of this annual college basketball tournament at the HP Field House at The Wide World of Sports on Thursday. It's not as cheap as it was and you don't get a Florida discount, but, it's still fun. It was this or go to the Knick game the night before to yell Porzinga! That's my Sheldon Cooper inspired nick name for Porzingis. Even at $35 a session (one day and one night) I got four times the amusement and I didn't have to sit hundreds of yards away from the court. I didn't even show up early and I sat six rows up between the bench and mid court for the day session and ten rows up dead center court for the night. I bet $35 gets you nose bleeds at the Magic and Ticketmaster takes a cut. Plus, as always, parking was free. What do the Magic charge now? $25? A minimum $10 if you park near Orange. The Magic and that other club with the loafing Brek Shea and women's team whose logo looks like a lactating breast could learn a little from this event. If you have a suspect product do something to give a fence sitter a reason to sample. Free parking is good because then you can go and see if tickets are available or cheap and if they aren't you aren't any worse for the wear. Now you are left weighing the odds and you almost always say screw it. Especially when those games are at peak traffic hours. ACC tournament officials this means you too.

Back to bball. They played again on Friday and end tomorrow. Saturday is verbotten. I guess because of the college football monopoly. ESPN televises it. It's great fun because the kids play hard and the fans do too. It's small enough that you can even heckle. I got in some good ones.

I have only one problem with tournament. Aside from the fact you can't buy single game tickets and a session is now $35. Who does your marketing? I only got info because I looked for it. I know this event takes place during Thanksgiving. Who else remembers? Most of the crowd were boosters that followed their team here. Few locals showed and you aren't selling out - ever. Even the ESPN web site and ticket link sucked. The website had next to no info on prices and times, etc. The ticket link only allowed you to buy the three day pass. Weak.

Vittorio's, I Drive

I went to this Brazilian buffet across from the Artegon mall on the north side of I Drive on Thursday for lunch. It cost $11. I'm not sure if this is the usual lunch price. Ichiban and Boi were both charging dinner prices all day. BTW if you go to either of those two, pick up a free magazine or coupon book available all over I Drive before you go. Boi especially is more digestible at $20 than $25 (lunch). This place was a smart choice. I ended up having turkey, steak, oxtail, lasagna, cheese puff, some pumpkin dish, garlic grits and a breakfast sausage that I thought was a croquette. I could have gorged more, but, my stomach has shrivelled from that cold the bastards in Winter Park gave me. They had salads, pizza, soups, etc. And lots of carbs. It's bigger than I remember. The opened up an adjacent room since it was a special occasion. It has a bar area now. It's not fancy, but, not a wreck (and better than before) either. It must be the choice of non-tourists (real Brazilians). It was packed with them. Families. The have been open for ten years. Since Santos is now closed and becoming an Aashiward (SIC), this has to be the Brazilian play. It's half the price. You can turn take those savings to the two malls close by or one of the many shops next door.

*It looked as though that Toby Keith bar has closed already. I guess Cowgirls lucked out.

Grub Crawl - Ponce Inlet: Hidden Treasures and Down the Hatch

I went to these two seafood restaurants at the end of line in Ponce Inlet on Sunday afternoon. BTW those idiots are now charging $10 to get to the beach. As if it wasn't already a giant pain in the ass to get there. I got there by taking I4 to the end and making a right and then crossing the bridge in Port Orange.

Hidden Treasure Bar & Grill - This place is in the shadow of the lighthouse. It has a bar area on the dock and an inside. I sat inside because it was a little windy (great job mediocre-ologists) and they had a tarp down that blocked the view from the bar. I tried a half dozen Louisiana oysters (raw) and an oyster po' boy. The raw oysters ($9) didn't have much flavor and ham hands in the kitchen made sure I got pieces of shell in every one. The po' boy ($13) was good. 10 well fried, panko crusted oysters. A little smallish. A very good roll and remoulade sauce (on the side). Tomato and pickle. Fresh home made chips. It came out fast. They have a big menu. You are supposed to try the steamed buckets, but, I think you can get more by ordering things individually. This place had more shellfish than the next place I'll talk about. Service was good, She knew enough to be helpful. They have a half ship inside and one dry docked on the deck that you can sit in. The place has all those tacky signs and fake ivy and Xmas lights that seem to be a requirement to operate. I liked one sign that said "if you can't believe our voters wait until you see our drivers". They have two big fake alligators up front. Parking was limited. Not bad. They have a crab cake with burger challenge (I think four of each) that you have to do in twenty minutes. It seats about sixty outside and forty inside.

Down the Hatch - This place is few hundred yards down on the "river" side. It also is on a dock/marina. The place is a little less "Swiss Family Robinson". It is one big brown wood building with low ceilings and an outside bar area. The inside is full of bay windows so you don't feel entirely cooped up. The walls are wood. They have stuffed fish and Nascar driver photos on the back wall. An inside bar is behind that. It seats about seventy inside and seventy outside. They sell souvenirs. I had a trigger fish sandwich to go. It was cooked perfectly. I like the firm flesh of the trigger. And the fact that it is a bad ass doesn't hurt either. It came with lettuce and tomato that could be improved upon. The bun was good. Giving people a bag of chips is kind of lazy. Most things here were more expensive than at Hidden Treasure. The menu was smaller. They did have a better selection of fish (by a hair - scale?). They didn't take AMEX.

Cowgirls, I Drive - Closed

I tried this Coyote Ugly/Urban Cowboy theme bar next to the ferris wheel on Saturday night. It was the first day it was open. Hurray. I only popped by around four times since their purported opening date in May. Of course it was not worth the wait. $9 Jack and Cokes aside. It's just a theme bar for tourists looking for a cliche "American" experience and people who have jean shorts in their closet. Wasn't Toby Keith's empty bar enough for this neighborhood? They have a mechanical bull. They dance on the bar. They play shitty country music. The place is big. They serve food. Is this a family atmosphere? I think trying to "middle" the market would alienate both groups. Then again we are a Honey Boo Boo America in a "feed my baby Fanta" world. The left wall is a fake seven dollar bill mural. I forget the rest. They have a patio. It's basically a strip club without the strip. Cowgirls are barrel scrapings to begin with. Cowgirls with tattoos and piercings are even worse.

Stefano's Grill, Sand Lake Rd Area - Closed

I had dinner at this Italian restaurant at the far end of the strip mall at Sand Lake Rd and Dr Phillips Blvd on Saturday. I would have loved to deliver a complimentary report because they were so nice, but, I found my dish a little disappointing. I ordered the simple to prepare rigatoni bolognese for $17 (cheapest main dish on the menu). To put that in perspective I just made the same for myself today and I bought a box of pasta for 85 cents (bogo) and only needed around $2 of beef. It was almost as good and I used no cream and salsa from my weekend burrito as the sauce (which is ridiculous I know). I forget what meat they listed on the menu, but, it turned out to be de-cased sausage. Even a large serving of that couldn't make up for the fact that it was in the recipe. The sauce was also bland. Barely any evidence of that listed cream. The rigatoni was cooked properly. I also had a glass of limp Cab for $12. Like I said, the staff was pleasant. The place looks like a dark room. It's all black. It seats about fifty. I was there kind of late and it was raining, so, it was almost empty. I hope those were the reasons. They said the grilled meats were good. I don't go to an Italian restaurant for that. I know Italians think they can compete in this arena. They can't. I think it's something about the olive oil and rosemary that Americans don't associate with quadropeds. The prices are also predictably high. You know I demand a more contemporary or authentic "Italian" Italian experience. This isn't that. It's another on a long list of fugazi American imitations. I probably should have just initially said they put their name on the wine glasses and that would have illustrated all I have been trying to say. They have been in this location for two years.

Grub Crawl - UCF Area: Blaze Pizza and Chicken Salad Chick

I ate at these two fairly new spots in that new complex at the corner of University and Alafaya on Saturday.

Blaze Pizza - This is a pit row pizza joint in the best way. They press the dough into a pie with a machine. They then sprinkle on your toppings (they have a zillion). Then they bake the sucker in the oven for like two minutes and that's it. I had a regular pie for $5! Can I remind you of the $13 Brazilian pie crisp I had a few weeks ago? Or the $6 two slice disaster last weekend? This pie tasted fine. No complaints. A GREAT value. I think they serve other things too. It was a blur of excitement. The place has high ceilings. It looks brand new because it is. One wall is all glass. The have a huge mural/photo on another wall. You order at a counter. It was pretty full. They even have an unhinged box that saves your fingers from getting clamped down on.

Chicken Salad Chick - Now let's compare the $5 I spent at Blaze with the $9 I spent here. All I got here was three scoops of pulled chicken. Two of which were virtually uneatable. They have fifteen chicken salads. For around $9, you are pretty much manoeuvred into ordering the trio or a single salad sandwich. I tried the trio because it let me report back on the larger amount of product. The Jalapeno Holly was terrible. Pickled jalapeno flavor. Very salty. Even worse was the Jazzy Julie. It was cayenne, bacon and cheddar. Way too spicy (and I've entered those contests where the thing is free if you can keep it down). Dry, Is it so unpopular that it sits until the chicken dries up? Salty, Olivia's Old South was the only palatable entrant. It had pickles and egg. Whoopee. At least it wasn't loaded with salt and was moist. The menu also some non-chicken salads, soups, some boring sides and a few non-chicken sandwiches (actually at a reasonable price). It has been open for four months. It was unsurprisingly empty. It looks like it will be a cute little "Grand Ma" cafe and then you see the "fast food", "order here" counter. They have all these articles on how the purveyor (started in Alabama) has brought something wonderful to the Universe. I found the pickle on the side to be the best thing about the place.

TJ's Seafood Shack, Oviedo

I ate lunch at this accessible seafood restaurant in the LA Fitness strip mall (near Alafaya) off East Mitchell Hammock Rd on Saturday. What should have been a fairly salutary review of a Tijuana Flats looking seafood joint devolved into whatever this is because of misrepresentation. I went for the lobster roll because it was $8. I suspected it would be bad because of the price and all lobster rolls are, but, I just can't ignore this all too common fraud. All you shameless hucksters need to stop. You know this slop isn't lobster. You know it is sarimi (molded slop fish). I don't know if the people who sell you this junk label it is as lobster. If they have found or lobbied for a loophole in basic terminology, but, you shouldn't perpetuate the fraud. Or hide behind this plausible denial. Even calling it seafood salad would be disrespectful to your customers. I suggest you drop it from the menu. If you insist on keeping it, then sack up and call it fake crab salad. It's a shame because it came with good french fries and cole slaw. I also suggest you refrain from selling talapia anything. It's crap. You should be embarrassed to have it on your menu. I also had some NE clam chowder that wasn't bad. It cost $4. As I said, the place looks like a mid level chain (ie Tijuana Flats). It's clean and kitsch. But not authentically. It's a little tacky. They have those signs with pithy sayings and fake placards. It's smallish inside, but, they have a patio. You have to order at a counter. They have a video of the place's construction playing on a loop. It has been open for seven years. Not worth a search.

Zanzibar Coffee House, Longwood

I grabbed a morning coffee and brownie at this new (three weeks) spot by the Sun Rail station on Saturday. The coffee cost $1.79 and was fresh. The brownie (sourced) was delicious and cost $3. The place looks great. The theme is the Tanzanian city and they have the appropriate accoutrement. They have more than pastries. Their grand opening is this weekend. Enjoy.

Red Cypress Brewery, Winter Springs

I went to this new brewery on 434 in between 17-92 and Tuskawilla on Friday night. I wanted to be one of the first, but, they have been open for a month. I must have just missed it the last time I checked. I had a flight (5) for $10 and two 10 ouncers. I liked the darker beers more. The light ones had no finish (poor execution in the first hop drop). They are probably just above the middle in the ranking of the local breweries. Good though. We have some surprisingly good brewers here. The place is large. I don't think they serve food. They serve a few beers from other brewers. It looks new. Slightly bare. It's in the strip mall with Salamander's and Senor Tequila. It was family friendly. Dads were playing bean bag toss outside with their kids. A few girls could be spotted inside. The staff was friendly and knowledgeable.

Grub Crawl - New Smyrna Beach: Mi Mexico and Chase's On The Beach

I grabbed dinner to go at the first place and a beer at the second on Friday.

Mi Mexico - The main reason I'm telling you about this place (and why I went) is the beach across from it. It's nice. They have a tiny parking area on the sea side and a large one across the road. Both are free. The beach there doesn't allow cars and the width of the beach is large. I think this is the best free location in NSB. Keep right on S. Atlantic Ave. Just past the last strip mall. Back to the restaurant. They have been there for twenty years. It has an apricot color scheme with appropriate decorations. I would replace some of the stained ceiling tiles. I had a chicken burrito for $5. It was good. The cheese they covered it with was rank though. Tasted like store brand, white American. They put onions and green peppers in the burrito. The chips they added were really fresh and good and plentiful. Almost worth $5 on their own. They have a big, traditional menu. Some unusual things too. It seats about fifty.

Chase's - This is a bar a little bit closer to town on the beach side. It has a pool. It looks like what you think a Spring Break spot looks like. The food was ridiculously expensive and cliche. Just rudimentary beer and booze. Parking is next to impossible. They have a tiny valet area and the free parking is limited to about ten spaces. Could be fun. I just don't get how they manage the parking. People must have to risk a tow every time.

Goodrich Seafood and Oyster House, Oak Hill

I tried this seafood restaurant on the Mosquito Lagoon (in between Mims and New Smyrna) for lunch on Friday. I had the grilled combo plate for $21. It consisted of bay scallops, oysters, mahi, shrimp and a crab cake with two sides. The scallops were the best. A cup full. Sweet. The oysters (4) were small. The fish looked fresh, but, had a consistency like wet sand. The shrimp (5) had no taste. The crab cake was very crab filled and moist. It was more towards under cooked. I tried tasteless, congealed cheese grits (needed more salt and cheese) and starch dipped french fries as sides. Obviously I didn't like or need (full) either. They also threw in a cup of fish soup. The real draw here is the view. The building and furnishings are unspectacular. They have an outdoor deck that seats about fifty. Inside seats about the same. It was half full. They have been around since 1971. You have to turn off US 1 at the flea market. I'm not sure it's worth the trip, but, if you are already out there? Perhaps. The problem is Florida seafood restaurants usually are the problem. They always seem to do something (or everything) that detracts from the natural goodness of the sea and the beautiful environment that surrounds them. These guys had fargin Swai on the menu! This is a market segment that needs to improve - alot.

Grub Crawl - Kirkman: Arepas el Cacao, Antonio's and Indian Hut

I cleaned up the remaining non-visits on Kirkman on Sunday. The first is in a strip mall with Junior Burger and the other are in that Publix strip mall off Conroy.

Arepas El Cacao - This is a brick and mortar (one of three) outpost of the food truck on I Drive. I had a #2 for $8. It contained pork, chicken, shrimp, chicken salad, white cheese, potatoes and carrots, corn and lima beans. It was good. Real shrimp. Moist pork and chicken. It's kind of a counter service place with seating outside. It's been there for two years. They also have empanadas, tequenos, sopas, ceviche, cachapas, etc.

Antonio's House of Pizza - If the house is one of pizza then the house must be an outhouse. Terrible pizza. I had a two slice combo for $6. The crust was disintigrating. Stale and drier than a cork. It was spewing dust in the box. Either they don't know how to bake a pizza or they don't care if they serve week old pizza. Either reason is reason enough to avoid this place. How they survived 5 years in this location is a mystery. The people in this area must have few options or taste buds. The cheese was cheap. The pie so over sauced that it made a mush of the bottom. Or maybe it just sat in its own filth for too long. The sauce was also garlicky. There was a huge air bubble in the middle of one slice. The place isn't much inside either. Just cheesy autograph photos of celebrities never met. I have some bad news for you. I worked for a talent agent and we (and any fan club) just had interns forge the clients names when fans wrote in for autographs. Avoid. The rest of the menu is just goomba Italian staples.

Indian Hut - These guys just opened up next door to Antonio's. I think it was an Asian place. Now it's Indian. They boast (on the menu) that they were/are the shit in southeastern PA. Maybe they are. Every motel in PA is owned by an Indian stinking up the place from behind the check in counter, so, there most be some good Indian choices up there. I just had samosas because I already had four meals and this place wasn't on the itinerary. They were very good. Non-greasy. Potato and peas. They have a full menu that is dosa heavy and has alot of Chino-Indian dishes. The dosas were huge and looked great. The place - not so much. It's a little spartan and mish mosh. They didn't obliterate the design of the last place and those guys left what the place before that had. I think it was Italian. They put some large Indian themed art on the wall. The space is very roomy. They only put seats for about thirty in a large room. It was about half full. The owners wife was using a corner as her office. I hate that. So tacky. Is a daycare corner next? You are trying to transport people. Don't ruin what little ambiance you can affect. I'm not sure I would highlight the pastry either. They don't look home made or fresh or appetizing. They look like bad supermarket pastry. They don't speak well of Indian skill at pastry making. However, prices are good and the things I encountered looked freshly made and came in large portions. Not white table cloth Indian, but, maybe good dive Indian.

Grub Crawl - Belle Isle: East Coast Wings and Sharon's

I went to these spots on South Orange on Sunday.

East Coast Wings and Grill - I ordered ten wings to go for $10. I did them a disservice as I left them in their packaging until dinner and they steamed. Even with that and the nuking, they were good. Meaty. They came with celery and carrots. They were fresh. I tried a custom sauce (peppadew ranch), blue cheese and a hot sauce. They were ok. The order came out quick. So quick that I worried that they weren't fresh or cooked long enough. I don't know if they cook to order because of this. The place seats about 60 inside. Mostly booths. And forty on an outside patio. It looks like a converted fast food restaurant. They are a chain from North Carolina. They have booze, beer and wine. They were showing sports on TV. It was pretty empty at noon. They have a full menu.

Sharon's Place - I mostly drove down here to try this home cooking type place that I saw when I was last down here trying the defunct Uncle Henry's. I had eggs benedict with hash browns for $9. They were ok. The hollandaise was a little sweet and vinegary. The browns were a little chewy. They close at 2 or 3pm. They serve a full breakfast and burgers and sammies and specials. Alot of things I saw being served at other tables looked good. The place seats about sixty. It was full. The furniture is a little mix and match. They have some cute multi-panel window or door frames hung on the wall. In each panel is a mason jar filled with dried flowers. They had more than enough wait staff (6) for the room. I didn't have to wait long for my meal. The crowd was a mix of all kinds. They opened six months ago. A fine diner.

Eclair Me, Lake Mary - Closed

I ate lunch at this replacement for another French bakery yesterday. It is next to F&D (now doing lunch BTW) in a strip mall on 46A and Int'l Parkway. It was ok. The owner used to run Sweet Traditions in Winter Garden and then Winter Park. I had a good croissant for $2. The sandwich sucked. The baguette was chewy. Inexcusable for a French bakery. The roast beef was terrible. An insult. I'm used to the French having no idea on cold cuts, but, I'm pretty sure this was Oscar Myer's cured roast beef. In any case, this "beef" was salty as pastrami. The sandwich (Eiffel Tower) also came with blue cheese. I shouldn't complain about getting too much, but, it just showed how little thought was put into making my sandwich. And I was the only customer! It also came with some bland tomato and overly large slices of raw (rinse it) onion. There was some kind of mayo dressing that was unnecessary. It came with a side salad or chips. It cost $7.50. I'd take my $7.50 and go to their neighbor - Cavallari or Jersey Mike's even. You'll get way more. Which is sad because I'd like to have some variety. The only other sandwich which may show potential is a tarragon chicken salad. Let's hope he doesn't use canned chicken. As for anything with cold cuts, don't trust the French. It must be something that they find declasse because I won't believe they couldn't master this category if they chose to. They also serve breakfast and soup. And a surprisingly limited selection of sweets. It has been open for a month. They did very little to the space - painted the walls. It seats about eight inside. The old place had patio seating.

Chilangos, Winter Springs

I grabbed dinner at this Mexico City style restaurant on 434 on Thursday. I went here when it first opened and had some of my first Mexico City centric fare. Then it closed. I thought they just never took the sign down, so, I never went back. I ate at a Greek place near by a few months ago and I saw it "re-opened". It turned out that they "re-opened" seven years ago and I could have been eating there all along. This time I grabbed a Chimichanga because it was at half price on Thursday (and like Seinfeld I like saying Chimichanga). It cost $3,50 and was filled with your choice of meat. I chose chicken tinga. It was ok. A little kick back the next day. I also had a pibil taco that was a little dry. It cost $1.50. In any case, there are few place around who serve huaraches, pozole, pambasos, sopa azteca along with sopes, sinchronizadas, etc. They also have the common Mexican fare. I'd love to explain what those first items are, but, I think you should see for yourselves. Mexico City has most of the most sophisticated Mexican cuisine. I'm not saying this place reaches that level, but, it brings more to the table than most places. Prices are excellent. The place is small. It seats about thirty. It's a Mom and Pop. The walls are painted bright colors. They have lots of mementos from MC. The name is slang for people from Mexico City. It's in a strip mall on the way to Winter Springs from 17-92.

Krungthep, Winter Park (Closed)

I went to this Thai tea and sandwich shop at lunch on Thursday. It's on Fairbanks near where they are tearing down a bowling alley. It must have been a dozen places over the last ten years. I recently asked for some differentiation from the Thai community. I guess this qualifies. They have reduced common Thai meals into sandwich form. I had a Green Curry Chicken sandwich for $9. It came with cheese (jack I think) red peppers, basil on a choice of bread. I chose Italian. It was ok. Too small for the price. It was pressed. It came with a small salad in a peanut dressing. I also had a $3 cup of tea (I'm trying to expand my tea vocab). They have been open for a month. It seats around 24 in 6 four seaters. All against the side wall. My table had AC blowing right at me. They didn't do much to the inside. All the work was evidently done by non-professionals. They put a big black bar on the far side. The walls, ceiling and floors are all white. Very stark. It was mostly full with women wasting time and money and one slacker treating it like a Starbucks/MILF hunting ground. They also serve "naked" sandwiches. IE salad. They had a page of ice cream sandwiches that seemed interesting. I didn't hate it, but, it's a little too precious for me. If they dropped the price points I might suffer through the conversations at adjoining tables and the terrible music (covers of pussy modern "music"). The place had really low energy. I'm not sure if that is a "tea" thing. The name is Thai for Bangkok. Insert ball punching joke.

Venice Pizza, Fern Park

I ate at this pizzeria about two weeks ago. I had the two slice special (with soda) for $7. They charge a little more than most places for this staple, but, it isn't a crime. The slices are huge and the quality was very good. This is a straight up American pizzeria slice. Processed cheese. Not paper thin. Crust. Lots of sauce. They do a very good version of this style. The sauce was sweet. It was crispy. the cheese wasn't all oil. It was fresh. Properly cooked. The place used to be Del Dios (I think) then a Wisconsin style place. It's behind the Chick-Fil-A on 436 near 17-92. Kind of hidden. I wasn't jazzed to go here, but, I'd go back. They also have burgers, salads, wings, meat, subs, pasta, seafood, etc. They have been open for a few months. The space is pretty open and basic. I forgot that they also included two fresh garlic bread balls.

Grub Crawl - Winter Park: Daya (Closed), Braccia and Fairbank's Diner (Closed)

I wasn't really looking forward to eating at any of these places anyway, so. I took my medicine all in one day. The first two require that spine rattling drive to Morse Blvd in the middle of Park Ave and the other is on Fairbanks near Paco's. It is very probable that one of these establishments allowed an employee with the flu to stay at work and spread the bug to it's customers.

Flu symptoms are usually more severe than cold symptoms and come on quickly. Symptoms of flu include sore throat, fever, headache, muscle aches and soreness, congestion, and cough. 

Daya - This place replaces Nopa. Curiously, it is another plant based restaurant now next to the defunct raw food one from a little while ago. They have done next to nothing with the decor. Replaces the wine display area and some art. My table was not wiped down properly. You could see the soapy residue. I'll admit that I don't get the cult of veganism. It's so insistent. I've rarely had a decent dish at one of these places. Maybe a salad. I've gone through periods in my life where I was way health conscious and I agree that you usually feel great eating like this. However, there is only so much that can be done with this stuff. You're just happy some if it tastes sweet. And with the premium they usually charge, I'm often left wondering at the business model. It has to be some people desperate to get out and flaunt their colors. An Instagram-hearted egotist shouting to one part of the community"Hey, look at me. I'm like you - superior" and to the other - "I'm better than you". The funny thing is that these people (also in the cult of Apple Inc and Whole Foods) usually are better in just one respect (two if you count self delusion). They can waste (someone else's) money like nobody's business (and they usually aren't any healthier looking or skinnier - lots of vegan recipes are very caloric). Speaking of which, I had a tofu taco for $4. How much is it on not a Taco Tuesday? Actually $17. I'll guess that gets you 3? And $6 for a half order of a beet and apple salad. The taco was good. A good slaw. The salad was blah. Lots of diced beet. Some apple. Some dried (cranberries or little figs)? A top of your pinkie's worth of something that was to approximate goat's cheese. Barely any greens. I think the dressing was just oil. I also ordered some hippy coke that had no color and tasted horrible. Remember when the actual cola companies tried clear cola? The whole menu consists of flatbreads, wraps, soup, salad, "burgers", desserts and some Asian and Italian inspired entrees. Most things are double digits. High of $21. Service was a one woman show. There were six other people there at lunch time. I'm happy that this cohort has a place they can call home. It keeps them away from me (I felt for the poor Dad next to me that had to suffer through this because his scarecrow-looking daughter who must of been in college but looked thirty must of insisted on it). I'm just worried that I'll be back reviewing another attempt in this same spot a few months from now. It has been open for over half a year. The name means compassion in Hindi. Not sure I have it.

Braccia Pizzeria - This place is owned by a Brazilian box salesman. Which is kind of funny because the pizzas resemble them. It is a quasi-Brazilian take on pizza. The crusts are really thin and brittle. Almost a cracker. I had a plain cheese (cheapest) for $12. I'm glad I didn't go up market. Any topping (though they would would have added much needed flavor) would have caused the slices to fall apart under the weight. It was already crumbling with the weight of oregano. The taste is hard one to explain. Every time I wanted to conclude that I hated it, a bite would come along that argued "this ain't so bad". The cheese is flavorless. The sauce is almost non-existent. Yet, sometimes you'd get a bite of "crust" and the rest and it would be good. The menu is mostly pizza. Some meat entrees ($25 and up), apps, salads and pasta ($13 and up). The place is cute. I can't remember if any of it is leftover from the raw food place. The walls are a grey wood. They have some cut out plastic astro turf on the walls. A cool mini, glass wine "cellar".  It seats only around forty. The pizzas take no time to come out. I think they pre-bake the "shells". It has been empty (I mean nada) the three times I've walked by. It has been open for two months. I can't see it surviving.

Fairbanks Diner - They say they are older than Linda's and I wouldn't argue from the looks of it. It has a Western theme if any. It is worn. I just had a cheeseburger deluxe because I wasn't that hungry. It tasted like meatloaf. It had "bits" in it. The cheese was super salty. What is up with American cheese lately? It wasn't always this salty. The T and L were soft. Service was fine. The clientele is either on Social Security or scraping by. They have around five daily specials each day. If Linda's and this place are McDonald's and BK. This is BK.

Grub Crawl - Lake Mary: Royals English Tea Room and Lake Mary's Grill and Pub

These places are near City Hall. I went to the first today and the second a few months ago.

Royals - They opened seven months ago. It's a little space near Lighthouse Seafood (behind the 7-11) and a dry cleaner. I had a salmon paste and cucumber sandwich for $7. It was fine. A tiny thing. Way over priced at $7. It was so insignificant that they hadn't had time to pour my tea before it was in my belly. The tea was Dragon Lilly at $4. I ordered a dessert out of curiosity and necessity. It was Treacle Pudding in custard for $6. It was a sponge cake soaked in a syrup in a soupy custard. I think it was nuked. It was fine. Very sweet. Ruined the tea for my tongue. It's run by a couple that I'm guessing is from Sussex. My mechanic is and they sound similar. You would think with all the Disney films and BBC I grew up on I would be able to decipher these accents by now. The room seats around forty. They do their best to make it seem English (ie mass produced commemorative ceramic plates) on a budget. They have a "big" menu of sandwiches. I say "big" because they kind of take all the things we throw together on one sandwich and make ten out of them, They have soups, desserts, quiches, salads, tea time platters, etc. Afternoon tea was started during the Industrial (Victorian) age to assuage the hunger and boredom of married women in between the afternoon and dinner meal that was now taking place at a later hour (darn time pieces, lighting and mercantilism). As such, the items were created for tinier appetites. Meaning that this may be more of a place for the Missus than the Master. It is interesting as a cultural experience though. The owners were nice. They seem to have a following. There is another tea room closer to I4 and one in Sanford. I guess I should be proud that we are so refined that we need three tea rooms. Closed on Monday.

Lake Mary's Grill and Pub - I went here a few months ago after I took the Sunrail back from downtown. I couldn't recall the name exactly so I didn't add them. I had a fried clam dinner for around $7. It was ok. It's a divey bar that has pool tables. It has been there (one street behind the City Hall area closer to 46) forever. 

Mom's Kitchen, Altamonte Springs - Closed

I went to this cafe two Wednesday's ago. It's in the back of a nearly abandoned strip mall on 436. I think the anchor tenant is a Aldi's or some cheap supermarket. It was a Circuit City way back. Between Ronald Reagan and 17-92. It seems to be family run by a Latino family. They have been at it for two years (I think). How anyone has found them is beyond me. I just had some eggs with sausage and home fries because the dicks at Subway (the lunch the day before) poisoned me again and I could feel the repercussions boiling over inside me. They boiled over on the way to the airport. Sorry McDonald's. Is that an Unhappy Meal? Any hoo, back to the review. The eggs were a little under done. Not all the white was cooked. The sausages were small. The potatoes were ok. It cost $6. They also do most of your typical breakfast and lunch stuff. Specials. They close at 2pm. Makes me wonder who is ordering the beer and wine they offer. Nothing costs more than $8. It's clean. It seats around sixty. The room is rectangular.

Merk's Bar and Grill, New Smyrna Beach

I had dinner at this "local's fav" restaurant across from Outriggers on Sunday. (from NSB) You go over the draw bridge to the North Causeway. I almost left. It was jammed with drunks watching football. The staff seemed to be oblivious to my existence. In about fifteen minutes, I got a menu and my order in. I tried the snapper sandwich to confirm my suspicion that Pop Thai subbed out my snapper when I ate there. Suspicion confirmed! This time I got real snapper. Red snapper. A big piece. Clean tasting. Perfectly cooked. I didn't even eat the bun. That would have been an insult to the fish. It cost $12. It came with a side. I chose home made potato chips. Another winner. Needless to say I was stunned. Locals have told me about this place, but, I was way sceptical when I saw a menu that all but mirrored the ordinary surroundings. A hodge podge of junk food. However, if they do wings and burgers and burritos as well as they did the fish then good on them. The menu is vast. I just named a few sections. They have all the favs. It seats around seventy. Like I said, it was packed. I kind of expected a view of the water. No luck.  I usually hate this type of place. Amazing what a properly listed and cooked piece of fish can do.

Wake Up Cafe, New Smyrna Beach

This place is next to Off The Hook in the Indian river Village Shopping Center of A1A. I ate lunch here on Sunday. It's a coffee shop run by an Argentine who draws from his own country (father had a lomito stand - beef sandwich) and Spanish influences. I had a Latin Special that consisted of two eggs, a chicken empanada and a side. I chose the grits with Pisto Manchego (a mix of tomato, zucchini, squash, bell peppers , onions, garlic and manchego cheese). That was the highlight. A big bowl. The eggs were fine too. The empanada was a little oil filled. It was fresh though. They have a nice menu. Just open from 9-2. Prices are good. Eggs Benedict is only $8. A bagel with cc is $2. My meal was $6. They have breakfast items and sandwiches and soups and salads. Around 10 Argentinian items. The place seats around forty. They have a counter. Service was good. They have been open for 3 years. I think you would be hard pressed to find a better breakfast in NSB. It was full when I tried it. I don't seem to be alone in my belief. I like the blend of cultures and it feels like it still has the original puppeteer behind the curtain. Nice find.

Pub Crawl - Downtown: Tsar and Ferg's Depot (Closed)

Tsar is around the corner from Much Nacho's (across from Oudom) on South Eola and Ferg's is on the train track at Church St.

Tsar - I went here after dinner at 10pm. There were about ten dudes there. Some older groups came in later. It has been open for a month. I don't know if it is the name, but, it reminds me of the sort of bar that usually has a drunken money manager or wise guy holding court amidst a table full of Champagnes with names he can't pronounce and Vodka and Red Bull. Think techno music from ten years ago and mirrors and faux marble. It's not trashy. It's just a bit Kardashian. A place you would take a Real Housewife. Don't get me wrong. I spent alot of my misspent youth in places like this. I may even have spent the night here if the crowd was right. It may have been. I was just too ticked off at the humidity (walked from Church St) and the general sense of dullness I sensed in the air to find out. My mind was on getting back to Downtown. Try it. They have a nice selection of hard liquor. I think I read some Turks own it.

Ferg's Depot - We had "too big to fail". Do we now have "too big not to fail"? I grabbed a beer here. They aren't really open yet, but, they were serving some beer to FSU fans watching the game with Miami. The place replaces the whole train depot. I guess it's going to be a restaurant too. Grand plans and I hope it works because it looks like they took this seriously. However, they are going to need alot of customers. El Jefe just closed. Graffiti Junction is a new neighbor. I wish them luck. I'll check back in a couple weeks.

It was Gay Pride day on Saturday. I don't know if that killed the vibe, but, the area was dead and I saw alot of Black College weekenders driving in. On the DL? I also want to dispel the notion that gays are neat. Ask the streets of Orlando after the festivities.

Oudom, Thornton Park - Closed

I was slated to try another new restaurant in the area, but, I didn't like their attitude. I stumbled upon this replacement for that corner spot on 100 South Eola Dr. It's now a Thai/Sushi spot. It opened less than a month ago. I hadn't heard or read anything about it. I balled and had their steak tartare (because it was so out of place) and their Triple Flavor Crispy Boneless Duck (because of my recent harangue over Thai predictability). The tar was $11 and the duck was $19. At the high end of their section of the menu. The tartare was good. At tad mustardy. They laid it on a bed of cabbage and carrots. I'm not sure if it was meant to be incorporated into the beef, but, it was a nice twist when I did it. The beef cut was chunky. A huge portion (maybe because it was that or let it spoil). The duck was a fail. They fried it and then dumped sauce on it. Guess what happened. The crispy duck became mushy duck. They served a half of duck (sans wings and drums). It was tasty. The breast was a little tough. Lots of uneatable skin. The rice was clumpy and soft. Overcooked. I was full, but, I had to try the sushi for you folks. I had one order of yellowtail for $5. The fishy was soft. The cut thin. The rice was packed too tight. The rice was average to below average in general. Service was ok. They did barely anything to the decor. It was nice to begin with though. Side note - why are they constantly redoing perfectly beautiful spaces when so many other spaces are in need of a make over. End note. They corralled everyone into the bar area. The hostess' screaming kids ran around. It was a sparse crowd that seemed mainly to be friends/family. I applaud the chances they are taking. I'd prefer some extra Thai stuff rather than Japanese or Chinese (or French) recipes. Re-invent it if you have to. Inspect what the sushi guy is doing too. Pricing was good for the area. Room to improve. Never found out what Oudom means. The tap water was undrinkable.

Southern Smoke Fish and Ribs, West Colonial

I grabbed a snack to go from this new (one month) BBQ place on 50 near the old O-rena on Saturday. It was a proximity call. I had the brisket sandwich for $9. It came with one side and I chose the fried corn (on the cob) because I had never had that. They said it was a special item. The brisket was ok. A little dry and tough. The real killer is that they used a deli slicer to cut it. I'm not sure if this is old school stupidity (they did this in Eustis too) or what, but, you need to hand slice brisket. You can't (easily) cut on a bias with a machine and the slices are too thin. It kills the texture. Those slices need to be at least pinkie thick. Watch a cooking show every once in a while! It did have some smoke flavor and some bark. You could see the smoker smoking away on the path to the entrance. They made it a sandwich with greasy Texas toast. You love it. I hate it. Waste of calories. On top of the meat they placed some shredded cheddar, onions rings and a sweet bbq sauce. It melded well as a sandwich. Not too much brisket though. A coil of about two/three slices. The corn was fine. They said it was a South American item. The cashier's English wasn't good enough to confirm and the cook kind of ignored my questions. Side note - why do certain segments of society get so suspicious if you start asking innocuous questions? I could see if I was asking about people or if he witnessed any illegal activity, but, cooking questions? I'm just making conversation and showing interest in your life's work. End side note. The frying probably just warmed the corn. It was just in there for a sec. It didn't seem to penetrate the skin, so, it may not be the worst thing for you. They piled on some aged and cheddar cheese (like the Mexicans do). The place has a western theme that I think the last place had. It was an Italian sandwich place and something else.I can't keep track.  It seats about thirty. There were two others there at three. They serve pork, ribs, chicken, cat fish, turkey wings, chicken wings, tilapia and sides.The most expensive thing is $14 (if you exclude a $21 rib platter). An old fashioned, self taught sort of place that is close to good. Ten years ago this is what we thought good bbq was (ala Bubbalou's). Then the hipsters refined it. I tried to get out of him what style the bbq was and didn't get an answer.

Winter Garden Pizza Company, Winter Garden

I grabbed a slice on the way out of town at this pizzeria on Plant St on Saturday. It's next to that wine bar that is next to Moon Cricket. I think half of it was a sweet shop a few years ago. One side has an awning with something about ice cream on it. Confusing. My slice came from a temporary sales area they had for the fair. It was $2.50 with pep. It was a good American style slice. Cheap cheese, thick, no crust, but, satisfying. The place (one half at least) looks cute. It has high ceilings and brick walls with colorful murals. It was full. It seats about eighty. Some subs and pasta, but, mostly pizza .

al Fresco, Winter Garden - Closed

I had lunch at this Mediterranean/Italian place behind the theater off Plant St on Saturday. Did you know Mediterranean means middle earth/land in Greek? They thought they were the center of the world back then. I wish this place disappointed and then I could use that bit of trivia to make a snarky point. Alas, after a bit of a hiccup in the table assignment department (they tried to put me in direct sunlight), I had a nice meal here. I came here once and it was closed (weekday lunch? I forget). And again on a Sunday - overpriced buffet brunch. So, I was ready to be pissy. I ordered the cheapest thing because I had little confidence in the outcome and there was a street fair with food trucks/stalls down the street. Man was I surprised. Side note - why do I always have to anticipate the worst in life to get the best? What is the cosmic assholery that allows/demands this? End side note. I had a falafel wrap with a faro salad for $9. The falafels were made skinny so they fit in the pita and didn't require you to dislodge your jaw like a snake (or some girls we know - am I right fellas?) to bite into. They were freshly fried and not dry. There were some cukes, etc in there and some good hummus. Side note - I still think it is funny that hummus had become so popular with this whole war on Islam thing going on - end side note. They even grilled the tortilla (it wasn't lavosh). The faro was mixed with arugula, black olives, red peppers and cukes (maybe tomato and onion). The veg were fresh and the faro was plump. Faro is way better than couscous if this was a riff on tabouli. They gave refills. The menu has a little bit of everything. They even try fish. The room is L shaped. The stick part of the L is a little extraneous. It borders the "peek in" kitchen and they put some table tops down the hall. The main area borders a bar and seats about 40. I think I recall a patio. The ambiance isn't transporting, but, it is nice. Yellow tones. It has been open for 3 years. They have a ton of staff. They seem to "give a turkey" as The Bandit always says. It's a good choice if you are in town.

Mount Dora Brewing, Mount Dora

I tried the selection of ales at this bar/restaurant/brewery on S. Highland St (intersects with 46) on Friday night. This was the real reason I came to MD. The place was more pleasing than the beer. It's located in the ex-woodshop of the brew master. A cute, tool shed like place with tons of kitsch. It was almost full (thirty people) with mostly middle aged patrons. They had a band playing mostly 70-90's covers. They have been brewing for six years. I tried a flight for $8. It's three beers made into six. They have a sweet blonde ale. A sweet porter. And an ok red ale. And three mixes. Oh, and a seasonal blueberry ale that was the best, but of course, the one that was never going to be brewed again. I was disappointed with the breadth and quality and definitely with the mixing. If the region has around ten or twelve (depending on if you count restaurants) breweries then this may be third from the bottom (Orlando Brewing and Winter Park) . The place is fun though and they are connected (soon to be literally) with the restaurant next door. It's not bad beer. The competition is just getting pretty good. They close at 3pm on week days (open at 9am) to brew. They are only open after 3pm on the weekends (that must include Fri). They have a small selection of other craft beer plus wine. The patio/beer garden outside is large. Nice people.

The Bavarian Haus, Mount Dora

I had dinner at this German restaurant on Alexander St (one west of the main street) on Friday. I had the Leberkase mit Spiegelei for $12, It is a slice of pork and veal (bologna) with mashed potatoes and gravy topped with a fried egg. It was as good as fried bologna can be. I just didn't really want schnitzel or brats - etc. The potatoes were rich (buttery). The place is cute. It's a little home. They had a guy playing German folk music. They dressed in Bavarian garb. The menu is from the region of Bavaria (south). It seats about 40 outside on a porch and 30 inside. It was almost full and with what still confounds me - people of all stripes. Who knew German was so widely accepted? Cars maybe. Food? It has been open for six years. The owners are German. Service was good. The food came out quick.

Grub Crawl - New Smyrna Beach: Off The Hook and Cafe Heavenly

I tried these spots on Friday. The first is near The Spanish River Grill in the Publix shopping area off A1A. The second is near the drawbridge on Flagler Ave.

Off The Hook - I first noticed this seafood restaurant when I found Spanish River. It seemed kind of inauthentic, so, I put it off until now. I will say that I still think the vibe is kind of manufactured. It seems like a chain. Some people are placed at ease by that kind of clean familiarity. I'm not one of them. I had a mahi Puffy Fish Tacos with fries for what I think was $12. I say "think" because I didn't get a bill. I opined (when asked) that I didn't think the fish was fresh (fishy tasting) and they comped the meal. I really wasn't looking for that (you know I just have a big mouth and a penchant for using verbal exchanges for more than social bonding), but, it is good to know that they take their reputation seriously and cultivate it with more than lip service. Then again, maybe they knew this batch of mahi should have found its way into a wastebasket and they really didn't lose anything in the bargain. I will argue that this may have been more a case of a rogue fillet than a financial decision. Perhaps a sourcing or storage problem. I am inclined to give them the benefit of the doubt based on the totality of the service. And it wasn't "piss out of your ass hours later" fishy. The portion size was large (two tail sections) and otherwise cooked well. The fries were good. The salsa was cold and tasteless. They even offered a to go soda that I should have accepted. The place seats about 90. It is clean. It looks like a Tommy Bahama's shirt. Service was good. The menu was a tad ordinary. All in all - ordinary. But, that seems to be the sweet spot for Joe Sixpack (a six pack of Mic Ultra of course).

Cafe Heavenly - This place has been tormenting me since I saw the sign for its lobster rolls last Fall. I know the odds are 1 in 10 for getting a decent/inexpensive lobster roll (1 in 30 in Florida), but, I hoped that they could stand up to the scrutiny. They could not. Here is the problem in a nutshell. Most places fail because they use lobster than has been emaciated from it's time in captivity. Plus they boil instead of steaming (robs them of any sweetness). Side bar - I mean how retarded are people (especially people whom have grown up around the sea) that they don't get that boiling sucks as a cooking method. It even sucks for vegetables and meat. How does no one get that it should be left to the Russians and Germans.They are too miserable to notice they difference.  I see cooking shows and pro's are boiling their seafood. I want to strangle them. End of side bar. Then the "boils" are too far in between. Then they only use the shit parts of the lobster. I won't even get into the guys who use frozen parts. Heavenly gave me three, limp, small, tasteless pincher claws. They didn't even mix in the mayo or cut up the claws. Some say the pinchers are sweeter than the "crushing" claw. Not if you boil it and don't trim the "fingers". Then it's just the least meaty part of the lobster with bitter ends. Plus they had the audacity to charge $19 for this junior version (regular = $23). You know how I know the price is obscene? I saw a $5 off coupon for the "Jr" in a local magazine. That means they can take an extra $5 off and still not blink at the profit margin. This is a $10 lobster roll at best. And that means that you should skip it and order something else that might actually be good. They serve some other seafood, but, it is overpriced too for a place with zero allure. It is just a deli looking place that seem to be two places next to each other. They also serve pizza and the way they do the signage it looks like two different locations. The pizza parlor looked promising. Wood fire. They start at $11 for individuals, but, go up to $24 for a lobster pizza. The gelato looked good. If I had to guess, the place is run by some goombas from Long Island or NE. You realize the cost of living is lower down here, right? This isn't even Jupiter Florida. They are the only ones who think they can do both seafood and pizza. They also serve flatbreads and sandwiches in many forms. And smoothies. I found it be too much of a joint for these price points. Either pony up and get a real location with a paved driveway and adequate seating or pass some of that saved coin back to your customers. I can only say, first hand, that your lobster rolls suck (and the wine selection). The rest may be good (even great), but, $13 for a panini? $17 for one crab cake? That shitty Caesar salad side doesn't balance out. Drop those prices or improve the non-culinary elements of you endeavor. I'd ignore their food truck too.

Makis Place, Winter Park

I grabbed some hand rolls to go at this new (two months) maki (rolled sushi) place near the BurgerFi on the corner of Park Ave near Rollins College. It's an interesting concept. It's a chain from Brazil (run by a Brazilian guy) that serves a Brazilian brand of sushi. I though that sounded strange and stupid, but, it was damn good. I've been exposed to alot of Brazilian twists since moving down here. I've experienced: Brazilian rice bowls, potatoes, burgers, hot dogs, sandwiches, Middle Eastern food, pizzas, etc. I though I could draw at line at sushi. Who even knew they ate sushi? Let alone enough of it to begin tinkering with it. I had a Cameroon (salmon, peanuts and some kind of fermented mini shrimp in a Thai sauce) for $7 (actually $6 if you do the two for $12 option - do this). A salmon with cooked mushrooms and cream cheese for $7. A California with mango for $5. All were great. The rice sucked. It was pasty, but, they can fix that. Probably just need to rinse the rice before steaming or make less at one time. They are all just mind expanders. A whole new level of sushi. You could probably expel the salmon (really good and fatty) and still have a flavor sensation. Even cc (just a tad served in sprinklings) and mushrooms work. They also "peeled/shredded" the crab in the CR. A slight touch, but, much better than leaving it as that stick it's molded into. At least I could have pretended it wasn't some crap fish colored and flavored into looking like King crab. A lot of these rolls came in their own sauce. You didn't need soy and wasabi. They also filled them down to the bottom of the cone. It wasn't a rice cone with some toppings to fool you. This is also a little thing, but, the packaging they wrapped it in and even the chop sticks were quality. These little touches tell you alot about a place and its owner. They also serve cut rolls and sashimi. I think they had other stuff, but, I forgot.  I saw some guy's' sashimi platter on the way out and it looked fresh. The tuna I saw in the "case" looked a little pale. In any event, it is much better quality than I expected from a fast casual place. Almost, if not at, "real" sushi restaurant quality. The place seats about forty. It looks hip. The staff was personable. If I went to Rollins I would be here all the time (especially if I was a Grad Student). And not just because it is so close. If I worked nearby, this would be my take out three times a week. I couldn't understand why someone would open a maki place right across from a very good sushi restaurant (in a spot that no sushi place has survived in for long), but, now I get the logic. It isn't that it is less of a hassle or cheaper. It is the Brazilian twist. They have to play that up and hope that enough people are curious enough to expand their sushi vocabulary. It's also good for take home too. If I was giving odds, I think I'd rather have the Maki niche than the Umi niche.

Park Station, Winter Park

I had lunch at this American restaurant on Park Ave on Sunday. It replaces a French place that closed down about a year ago which replaced.... It is run by the people who ran the now shuttered Nopa. I didn't love Nopa. I thought it was a little unrefined for Winter Park and its own pretensions. Park Station is much more in tune with both of those. It looks sharp. They added a new bar backdrop (lighted and yellow) and either added or overlaid the bar/dining room divider with a nicely crafted, etched wood shell. They also added some chandeliers made of steel pipe, old fashioned light bulbs and framed photos of old coastal Florida. I would have hidden the tacky stucco facade on the far wall. It was an eyesore and poorly crafted when it was put in by previous ownership. I think it was an Italian theme then. The bar seats about ten. It had some boozy divorcees and couples watching football. The front dining area is mostly two seaters (a blessing for lonely guys like me and I think a smarter choice - you can always push two tables together but you can't pry them apart), There are about three on the bar side (a little crowded) and six on the other side of the "wall". The back has some four seaters and I believe the have some tables in the enclosed area out the back. They have around six tables outside as well. The tables and chairs are new and nice.  It was about half full at lunch. I was looking for another place, but, I forgot the name and I hid here when it started drizzling. The menu is about $5 too high on every item and the apps are all entree priced. I had ribs with truffle fries and a kale salad because that and the eggs benedict were the only things at normal price points. The ribs (5) were good. A tad dry. Probably on their third day. It's so weird, I'm getting better ribs at restaurants than at bbq places lately. They must have been rubbed in black pepper (a slow, back end burn) and maybe coriander. The sauce was heavy and sweet. Not bad. The fries thankfully avoided a wash in that chemical concotion they misrepresent as truffle oil. One area had a puddle of it and the rest were high and dry. The kale salad was more of a slaw and had little discernible kale. It was more cabbage. Some cute little guys that looked like brussel sprouts among the melange. Good. The meal cost $16.50. They jammed me for $3 on a soda. The menu (L and D) has flatbreads and breakfast stuff on the lunch menu. A burger is near $16. More substantial stuff at dinner. It gets up into the thirties. I looked at the menu at Bistro 310 down the street and they are a tad cheaper. A tad less enthralling too. And much less selection (alot of pasta). They kept their wine focus too. It's mainly a California-centric (ie $50 - $10 Cabs) selection, but, they show some diversity. Most wines by the glass are at the price the get at retail for the bottle and the bottles are around a 3X mark up. They offer up a small craft beer selection too. I didn't see any hard stuff. I wasn't expecting to try this place out (you sort of have to know it exists first), but, I'm not sad I did. I think it is a major improvement from Nopa, and if they can tinker with the pricing, it will be there for a while. It has been open for under a month (I think). Service was good.

PSA - UCF Football Coaching Recommendations

Just throwing out some names so we can finally be done with that denture whistling, gin nosed AD. I appreciate what he has accomplished, but, come on - he's past his due date. He'll even admit to it. How about Al Golden or Doug Marrone (Jaguars) or Charlie Strong? They all have Florida ties and though they will probably prove unworthy of their current employment, they may take this job. It's not really a top tier job and could be a good fit for a coach on the rebound. They are good coaches too. Just coaching idiots. Maybe Gus Bradley or Lovie Smith will be so tarnished when they get canned that they would apply. Maybe Joe Philbin for AD? He looks like the empty suit technocrat they like to make an AD.

I also want to thank whatever news station canned Larry Ridley. Who had iller fitting suits or a more pompous tag line. You aren't hard. You are a smurf. Just say "we will be back after this break" like a normal person. Not someone "compensating". And can that guy Ping get caps for his grounded down molars and pluck that Seh girl's eyebrows properly. Marker them in if you have to. And report some SPORTS. It's like a talk show. I don't give a crap about emails, predictions or his brat's intramural bench warming. He hardly show the results of any games. And never anything national. Can we at least get a scroll?

Pop Thai, Mills Ave.

I had dinner at this Thai restaurant on Mills Ave (old Yum-Mi Sandwich) on Friday. Can I first say that I'm sooooooooooooo bored with Thai (and Vietnamese) cuisine. It was a refreshing change from greasy Asian fare when it first started gaining popularity twenty years ago (at least in NYC). Now it reminds me of twentieth century Mexican. The same boring "greatest hits" dishes on every menu. Mexican evolved. I think it is high time the Thai community did as well. Challenge us to more than satay, tom yum and curry. I TRIED to support "the struggle" by ordering the most expensive/ambitious dish they had instead of succumbing to thrift and getting a reliable chicken curry. Big mistake. They pulled the Asian graft on me. That is subbing out the listed "glorified" fish for shit. In this case it was snapper for either talapia or swai. What has a silver skin with a black herring bone pattern? I thought it must be talapia because it was also on the menu. But, I'm not sure that it has that skin. What was worse is that whatever it was, it evinced freezer burn. They fried it to hide the evidence, but, I peeled off the crust. I don't love the fact that the recipe calls for frying what is a delicate tasty filet if it is what it is purported to be and then placing it in a curry bath. The dish also came with some acceptable shrimp (6). Would it kill you to butterfly them? You made a flower out of a carrot. I think you can beautify the co-star of the dish. It had some carrot and zucchini in it for color. I believe the curry (flavorful) was a green curry though it had a white color. The rice (nice heart shape pile) was over cooked. I think the dish was called Thai Delight and cost $20. They gave me an order of cream cheese "rangoon" (fried wonton) for free. I'm appreciative and it was good, but, I don't get how this dish came into being. Who doesn't think cream cheese when they thing of the jungle. Let's keep cream cheese to bagels and places with refrigeration please. The place looks nice. It has a grey/black color scheme. The furniture is new. It's modern luxe. It seats about sixty. There were around five tables seated at dinner. They were playing dance/lounge music. Service was quick and good. My real problem with place (aside from not getting what I was promised) is that we don't need another "me too" Thai place. Adding some "Pop" to it doesn't break through. They do nothing (or not enough) unique. There is no reason to seek this out. Maybe if you live near by. I believe they have been open for two weeks.