La Fonda, Longwood

I had dinner to go at this Mexican restaurant (which means inn or in slang - food stall) near Ali Baba on 434 yesterday. I had Enchiladas Rancheras for $6. It was two cheese enchiladas topped with pork, tomatoes, onions, bell peppers and a sauce. It came with guacamole salad (shredded lettuce and tomatoes) and chips. It was very good. The pork was plentiful and looked like pieces of brisket. The cheese they used was great. The sauce was flavorful and came with a side of hot salsa which was most likely for the chips, but, worked on the main plate. The guacamole was fresh and excellent. As were the chips. I was very impressed by the food. I was a little scared when I entered (the old sushi place Sushin) and saw only three other customers (it was also empty on a Saturday when I passed by a few weeks ago) and that they hadn't really done much with the place (I'll get to that soon). However, looks can be deceiving and I was deceived. I would expect the rest of the menu to be well prepared. It's a smal menu based on Guadalajaran recipes. They get as ambitious as offering ceviche and shrimp cocktail, but, it's tacos (a few of the nasty good kind), tamales, enchiladas, huaraches, sopes, chimichangas, quesadillas, burritos, fajitas, huevos, etc. They have a really reasonable lunch menu. The place seats about 50. They added some Mexican style furniture up front. The sushi bar area still has a bamboo overhang and the Japanese white paper above it. I would at least cover the paper. They did put some cute, clay vases on the right wall. I recommend that you try it if you are nearby. Try not to sing Doing the Jane Fonda in your head while you're there. I wish we had a small, authentic Mexican spot like this in my town.

Max and Meme Cafe, Longwood

I had lunch at this Cafe on 434 yesterday. It is across from Ali Baba in an old BK. I was alternately - scared then intrigued then disappointed in the meal. I'll explain why. I had chicken fried chicken steak for $9 and a crepe for $2. The chicken came with home fries (choice of hash browns or grits) and toast. Everything came out too fast to be freshly prepared. The gravy had a film on it. I asked why and they said it must not have been stirred. But how can you ladle a perfect tile of gravy on a piece of chicken without disturbing it? I think they nuked it and the chicken in a microwave. The chicken had to have been fried earlier in the day. It takes more than three minutes to fry a chicken breast. The home fries were also a little dry and some were very crunchy. That either happens because of microwaving or mixing old batches with new batches of potatoes. The flavors were alright, but, it just gives the impression that the boss cares about the bottom line more than the experience or his cooks are lazy. I would suspect that the breakfast service serves fresher fare than the lunch service (of the breakfast dishes anyway). You may want to take that into account when ordering. The crepe was similarly poor. It must have been made hours/days ahead of time. It was cold and tough. And the preparer does not know how to make crepe batter. The call it a Swedish pancake. My mother is Swedish and a terrible cook and her pancakes are one hundred percent better than these. As I said, I was scared (it looks shabby from the outside (poor quality signage) then intrigued (the menu seemed interesting) then disappointed (food quality). The clientele started out as grannies and (fat) fannies. Maybe they aren't discerning customers. But, if they want to keep the few hipsters and other customer groups that came in during lunch, they will have to start making fresh food. This isn't a BK anymore. It reminded me of one of those places Gordon Ramsey blows his top over when he finds out what the kitchen staff has been doing.

The place seats about eighty. There were under twenty people while I was there. The furniture is straight grandma. It is old and scratched up too. The service (2) was good and polite and seemed to be able to keep up with this level of occupancy. God help them if it gets full. The menu is pretty large. They offered a weekly Cuban special. Buy it on Monday because I'd bet that is when it is cooked and everyone else will be getting leftover special.

I would see this place for what it is. It was probably financed on a shoe string. It is probably barely breaking even. As such, you may see corners cut. It wants to be Keke's, but, is now operating at below Bob Evan's. There is potential. However, it is a chicken or egg dilemma. If they get more customers ($), the quality may improve. But, they may not get more customers if the quality stays like it is. This is why owning a restaurant sucks and so many owners are tempted to cut corners. You aren't guaranteed customers if you spend to ensure quality. If you do go, stay in the scared mind set until they prove themselves worthy of intrigue.

Yaya's, Orlando

I had an egg sandwich to go on my way to the airport at this Cuban Cafe and Bakery on Monday. It had scrambled eggs, cheese, sausage (also available with bacon or ham) and was served on a pressed Cuban roll. It cost $5. It was fine. A typical egg sandwich (bigger) with three, butterflied link sausages. The bread and portion size set it apart (but showed up in the price). They serve the same dozen or so selections you see in every Cuban restaurant. If this were ten years ago, I would say find it. But, there is a glut of Cuban places around CF. I bet you can find similar in your neighborhood. If you go here, it is on Hewitt Rd off 436. It's on a semi-circle in a residential neighborhood. Depending on which direction you are traveling on 436, it is on the near or far end of the street. I don't think you can see it from 436 (and your eyes should be on the road anyway). It's in a little house that seats about 20. It was all Cuban when I went there. Perhaps the bakery made the bread that I tasted. The confectioneries (never world class to begin with) seemed mediocre.

4th Street Bar & Grill, Lake Mary

I had lunch at this Bar & Grill in the Town Hall Square on Lake Mary Blvd last Sunday because the imbeciles at the Sentinel misinformed the public that the food truck event was to take place then. I had a Melady (sliced pork loin, apple, cheddar cheese, arugula on sliced ciabatta) for $9. It was a tiny thing. Maybe six inches wide by two inches high. They saturated the bread in oil. The pork was good but scant (two thin slices). The cheese and apples worked. I had most of it plain and a few bites with the honey mustard sauce. Both tastes worked. It came with some brown colored, skin on fries. Not my favorite type of fry. They were fine. Oddly short (little nubs). Everything on the menu is about $2 to $3 more than it should be. You pay for adjectives. They want to occupy a niche higher than most mid-market chain competitors and choose to do so by raising price points. Otherwise, it is just a burger/sandwich/wing place with some surprises. The menu is pretty conventional. They try and differentiate with a nod to southern comfort food (a little late on the bandwagon). I would avoid the appetizers. They are all priced close to entree prices. The place has a faux brick interior facade. There is a bar side and a dining room side separated by an island wall. They have TV's all around (sports dominated). The TV's on the island wall are a little small and look out of place. Two extra TV's below or one giant screen would make it look proportional. The furniture is dark wood. It's new. One, minor improvement could be easily adopted. Get rid of those plastic, McCormick salt and pepper grinders. So tacky. Buy some decorative grinders. They also have a patio area. The bar area has an interesting iron beam halo above the counter. The entire place seats about 100. There were about 30 people there at lunch. The service (4 or 5) was good. I believe it could be a perfectly engaging option for the area if they tinker a little (pricing, portion size, specials). They have only been open for two months so I'll try again at some point to see if they have adjusted.

Jazz Tastings, Maitland

I stopped in for a beer at this live music restaurant on Friday. The draw is live jazz. The room was full. I was told by a couple that they showed at 8pm and every table was already taken. I guess that is what you have to do if you want to spend a night here (reserve a table). The bar only seats about six and there really is no standing room. The menu read like dull, bar food, but, the stuff that came out of kitchen looked pretty tasty. The crowd was older and about half black and half white. The places seats about 80. Jazz murals decorate the walls. The interior design is what some people deem elegant, but, I find to be inartful/mass produced. It is on the road to Eatonville in the strip mall that has the Copper Rocket. It's less of a bar than I expected, but, I could spend an evening there and pretend I was still on one of my Intro to Jazz assignments. Really only for jazz freaks.

Cask and Larder, Winter Park - Closed

I had the pleasure of eating (dinner only) at this Southern Publick House on Friday. The same team that runs The Ravenous Pig is responsible for this latest attempt to tame the old Harper's Tavern location. I had a pork rillette appetizer for $11 and a Stuffed Quail entree for $16. The pork cubes were served in a glass bowl with watermelon rind, tomato jam and collard bread (bread made with collards in the dough). It's that kind of place. It was intriguing. The mixture was accompanied by several slices of bread that are simplistically recounted as "garlic bread". It's probably more of a dish that needs to be shared, but, it was worth trying. The quail dish was a bit scanty for an entree. Obviously the quail is small, but, I expected a little more stuffing. The stuffing itself was supposed to be dirty rice. It tasted more like grits (a bit mushy). They surrounded it with zipper peas, a few teeny crawfish and a romesco (tomato) sauce. The sauce seemed a little superfluous or disconsonant. I suppose it was intended to add a bitter element. I'm not sure what would be more effective, but, I just didn't love tomato and beans (peas that look and eat like beans). The bird was cooked nicely. The menu was shockingly affordable. I think the highest priced item was a $18 rib eye. Maybe the portion size is small. I went for an expensive glass of wine (eclectic/superior selections) instead of getting my beef on. They serve three types of ham (high pedigree), fish, oysters, crab, veal rib meat and other viands. Most everything is dialed up a notch. This is food art. Sometimes this can rub me the wrong way, but, my bullshit meter didn't go off here. It's like comparing Jennifer Lawrence to Ellen Page. One comes off as a true, unaffected original (even though she looks like Leelee Sobieski or Hellen Hunt) and the other comes off as a snot. One does it because it is what comes naturally and one does it to try and prove she is better than you. Here, I would wager, they do it because it just feels right.

The place (I've usually liked most of the restaurants at this location) is sophisticated and approachable. The clientele was upscale and hipster. The dress was commensurate. They have kept the interior separated. The main dining room is grey with splashes of white and stained wood moldings (odd choice). I found the color scheme dreary. It probably plays better in the daylight, but, they aren't open then. A little dark. I asked if this was too enhances your other senses, but, that was not confirmed. Good thinking if it is. The back wall has elevated tables. Nice touch. The rest of the room has black stained, square tables. The room is broken into two areas by an open centerpiece. They have a seafood bar along the wall that separates the main room from the "bar" room. The kitchen is semi-exposed by a translucent/frosted window. It is in the back. The seafood bar has a pizza oven that I was told is used to cook the oysters. I assumed the oysters on the menu were raw bar oysters, but, maybe I read it wrong or they were talking about the fried oysters. The "bar" area is nice too. It has a room lengthed bar at the back wall with sit down tables in front of it. I think they were all hightops. They have a brewery in the back with a private table area inside. The brewery should trip my pretentiousness alarm, but, I've mourned the loss of The Mill for years so I am conversely happy to see some sort of resurrection. The place was packed at 8pm, yet, I didn't have to wait for a table (no reservation).

The service was excellent. I tried my best to stump my waitress, but, she knew more than I did. She never tired of my relentless pestering and did all the waitressly duties effortlessly. Dishes came out a perfect pace. The wait staff was dressed in jeans and white T shirts. A uniform that doesn't repress. They definitely had enough staff.

I think this place will continue to be a big hit (I'm not the first on these shores). It strikes the right chords. It's comfortably demanding. You will experience something for the first time here. The prices are good. The service is good. The setting is good. I can't think of a check box that isn't marked with a smiley face. It's in the conversation for my favorite restaurant in Central Florida. Find it. Uh oh, I just thought of one check minus. The parking situation sucks as always here. Overlook it.

Orange Leaf, Lake Mary

I had some fro-yo at another one of these superfluous strip mall tenants today. As usual, it was awful frozen water. Sorry. I meant awful, over priced, frozen water. This place is exactly like every other fro-yo franchise. Sherbert squirters and topping station. How did we ever live without them? What angel from Heaven created them? It is 46 cents an ounce here. Located in the Target/Publix strip mall off Lake Mary Blvd.

Q'Sabor, I Drive

I ordered a chicken empanada to go from this Venezuelan restaurant on the north end of I Drive (across the street form the Peter Glenn ski store) on Wednesday. I had a bite in the parking lot and the rest for dinner. It was good. The chicken was a little dry and little too shredded. It felt like eating rope and mush. It was, however, freshly fried. The dough was sweeter than I'm used to experiencing with empanadas. It cost $3. They also serve arepas, cachapas (sweet corncakes), bowls, and parrillas. They are filled with various meats or cheeses. The most expensive thing costs $7. It's a small place. It must seat 20 max. It is two months old and look like a new take out type place. It's clean. it's brightly painted. They have poster sized pictures of the food to help explain it. They also serve juices (could be fresh made) and coffee. It's a limited menu, so, let's hope that results in expert execution. I think it's a good stepping stone for anyone who wants to try north-South American cuisine. And maybe it's a slice of home for any expats or Chavez enablers. I would cover the white ceiling tile areas of the upper wall with something (unless it's a code violation).

Kosher on Wheels Food Truck, I Drive

I had Chichen Schnitzel on a baguette from this Glatt Kosher, blue food truck on the north end of I Drive on Wednesday. It cost $11. I ate a bite while it was hot and the rest for dinner. It was outrageous. It wasn't greasy. They baguette was fresh (maybe a tad soft to be a true French baguette). They dressed it with hummus (always reminds me of what Bruno understands Hamas to be), tahini, red cabbage, hot sauce, tomatoes, pickles and maybe mustard and pesto and Israeli salad if Israeli salad had cucumbers in it. It sounds like a mess. It eats like an orgasm. Which, if you believe the movie Ted, is what a Boston girl sounds like while having the latter. They also serve a turkey shwarma they assemble themselves. You know those big meatloaves they shave to make a gyro? They make their own out of turkey. They gave me a hefty sample and it was excellent. They have baby chicken which I think was just pulled chicken. They have grilled chicken. They have kufta kebab, falafel, salad, and sabich (I forget what that is). They also have nuggets and hot dogs and burgers. They say "for the kids", but, who's to know. The items are a bit steep for a supposedly low overhead business model. However, I would pony up for one of these bad boys every once in a while. They even have canopied areas on both sides of the truck for you to sit. They seem to always be parked in this lot (near Peter Glenn's Ski Shop). It is usually doing a brisk business. I recommend it. Even the resultant burps they engendered were like a sweet memory throughout the night.

Tabla, Universal

I had the lunch buffet at this Indian restaurant (which means a small bongo-like drum) across from the Kirkman entrance (a street called Major Blvd) to Universal on Wednesday. Incidentally there is a large parking lot for a Visitor's Bureau on that street that may allow you to avoid the Universal parking fee (especially galling if you are just going to eat or shop). Check for tow away signs. I only drove past it and couldn't see if it was patrolled. It was mostly empty.

I am not going to critique the buffet too thoroughly because I don't think it represents what the potential of this place may be. I say "potential" because I only experienced a small sample size of what seems to be a very expansive menu. The buffet had two chicken dishes (a tikka masala and a wing and drumstick tandoori). The tikka pieces seemed like they had the red marks made by a tandoori (not usual). I wouldn't be too surprised if the buffet dish was made from leftovers. The tandoori was ok. At least it wasn't undercooked like it habitually is elsewhere. There was a goat stew. Mostly bones. There was a paneer (cheese) dish and three veggie stews. There was some salad (basic and feeble). They had a Chicken Biryani (fried rice) that had many seeds and bone fragments in it (probably also used leftover chicken). They served Medu Veda (fried donut balls) and some sort of ball made of grain and served cold in a yogurt sauce. Rice. The buffet was $8. Not the best Indian buffet bargain in the greater CF area, but, fair. They did jack me for $3 for a soda though. It's funny. They give you $3 worth of Naan that you don't ask for, but, they have to grab that extra buck or buck and a half out of you for 2 cents worth of sugar concentrate.

The place is drab, old and worn. It's is situated next to a Day's Inn and must have been some kind of banquet hall before hand. They have tried to Indianize it with decorations, but, it still looks like it is more conducive to an Elk's meeting than an Indian dinner. It doesn't help that there is a place selling tchokes right across the hall. They have some booths underneath the windowed side of the room. The opposite side of the room has a TV and a bar and the entryway to the kitchen. There is a private room in the rear. It seats about 60. There were maybe six others (mostly Indian) buffeting while I was there. The service (1) was ok. I didn't get a refill on my $3 Coke until I was almost finished my meal. If I went back, I would go for an ala carte meal. The prices were reasonable ($11-$18 for entrees) and the selection vast. This place is (potentially) all about the food. The things I had were probably a bad representation and still were tasty. I've read where they get the "best of" Indian cooking labels in some publications. That and my conditional approval may make you give it a try when the winds steer you towards Universal.

B & B Junction, Winter Park - Closed

I ordered takeout for dinner (I tried some before it got cold) at this burger joint in the old 4 Rivers location on Wednesday. I had a burger with ghost chili cheese, roasted poblano-bacon jam, siracha aioli and arugula for $9 and portobello fries with a herb-cucumber yogurt dressing for $3. The fries were great. Maybe one of the best new, original things I've had all year. They (10) had a perfect, crisp batter. The mushrooms retained all their flavor. Great. The dip did become a little tedious. The burger was probably a mistake. That is too much heat not to ruin any meal. I did peal away some beef to see if it had any flavor and it didn't. The slight overcooking didn't help, but, I think the mix may be too lean. There was no juice or flavor. I'm not sure if freezing or spatula pressure drained this bad boy of life, but, it could have been tofu. On the plus side it came on a brioche bun that didn't fall apart and was large enough to encase the burger. They have eight variations of burgers, wings, snacks, soup, sides, salad and grilled cheeses. They have done next to nothing to the old place (added some corrugated metal to the ceiling). That is perfectly alright with me. I was depressed when they closed this spot down. I always liked its re-purposed charm. Now it's a higher priced Burger Fi. They have similar offerings. This place is a little more gutsy and the burgers are bigger. Who knows they may price out the same if you do a weight by weight comparison. They are the sum of all contemporary gastronomic trends. It's a gourmet, fusion, kitsch burger place that sources organic, gimmick ingredients from small farmers (locally if possible) and crafts people and serves it (self serve) in faux-historical setting. It's just missing a douche bag, celebrity chef. All that said, I'm so glad they took over this spot. I am waiting to see if the burger quality is as disappointing on my second visit, but if it isn't, I will be here alot. I also like the fact that they have beer and wine.

Galopin, Winter Park - Closed

I had lunch at this European restaurant on Park Ave that means "wild child" on Wednesday. It is more correct to say I had lunch in the pub annex. The main restaurant is not open for lunch anymore. I looked inside the main restaurant and it seemed mostly the same as it was when it was Circa (same with the pub). I had chicken croquettes (6) for $5 and a faux-pizza (flat bread) with steak and blue cheese for $7. The croquettes had a nice crust. Possibly a little under cooked inside. The harissa sauce was the most assertive element on the plate. The flatbread itself wasn't too thin and hence burnt or dry. There was alot of blue cheese and steak. The steak may have been from a decent part of the cow like the head of the tenderloin. I just saw a butchering episode with Martha Stewart and the guest said the front end (above the Chateaubriand) of the penis shaped tenderloin can be used for such purposes. The meat on the flatbread seemed tender enough to be from that cut. The plate wasn't balanced enough. They needed more of a bitter element to cut the richness of the meat and cheese. I think the drops of aged balsamic or arugula were meant to be a contrast, but, the vinegar added a cloying, sweetness and the arugula had lost any bitterness it had  had (still wouldn't have been enough). The arugula in question was thrown in the center of the quartered flatbread and was undressed and wilting.

And that is the rub. They can't get by serving less than perfect meals. The lady aside me complained about overcooked chicken. They were out of three of the ten lunch dishes. The place has no identity (or no new/different identity). It is in a location that everyone associates with failure and has a wait and see policy on. It is all the way on the wrong end of the street. Parking is difficult. The menu is all over the place. I was expecting a Bosphorous clone (from the PR I had read about), but, either they've shifted course or the reporters didn't understand the difference between Middle Eastern influenced European dishes and the real thing or they thought Spain was in the Middle East or who the hell knows what. The reality is that I can't tell you what the stand for (unless now the zeitgeist is contending that all cultural cooking has been influenced by all other cultures and everything is now something). I can just say "hodge podge". It doesn't necessarily help you get a handle on what they are trying to establish here when you find out that the "European" kitchen is headed by a Brazilian. On the surface, the menu seems like a shot gun approach. Which wouldn't be disastrous in itself if the execution was there. And maybe it is - at other times. I just hope the person at the pass is a little more particular in the future. I get the sense that there may be too much "understanding" in the kitchen and that that will result in uneven experiences at the restaurant (especially if business is slow and finances enter into the decision making process over supplies). And (based on their advertising choices) they seem to be covetous of a fine dining clientele. I rate them as closer to "pub" than fine dining based on their ambitions (dishes and difficulty of preparation) and the execution. A pub that charges close to $30 for dinner entrees.

The service (2) was good. There were five other people there at lunch. They still have that "Love Boat" feeling "club" on the second floor. I won't go back (on purpose), but, that is mainly because I've got other fish to fry and if history is any indication then this will be another spot waiting to be re-re-re-re-reviewed by summer.

PSA - Mail Forwarding

I learned a scary lesson this holiday season. USPS is a joke. That is not the lesson. The lesson is you can't count on them to even forward your mail (even though it's done by machine). I returned home in the middle of the forwarding period and had a full mail box. When I asked my mailman why it wasn't being forwarded (to a friend), he said the main sorting center must not have been alerted. I thought that is why they have a web form connected to a database for? How can it get lost? It's computer to computer. It's automatic. And the mail wasn't all from one day (like a day before the requested start date). It was from everyday since I had been gone.

When I saw my friend (the forward address), he also had a stack of mail (mostly bills) with nice little forwarding stickers on them. Also from varying dates. So, half my mail was forwarded and half was not. So what's the big deal? If I hadn't checked my mailbox at home that mail would have been taken to the post office (when mail box gets full) and thrown out after a period of time (a month I think). I had gift cards and Christmas cards (among other important things) in that pile of mail! And this means that every time I've been gone for for more than a month, I may have lost untold quantities of correspondence. This is because I would have no reason to inquire about any unforwarded parcels and they would be eventually thrown out. They don't even alert you that you have mail at the post office.

The supervisor blamed the mail carrier. She said he was alerted and either ignored it or disregarded it. He is supposed to put a card in the mail box so that any temps or replacement mail carriers know I'm away and the mail shouldn't be delivered there. That is possibly how I received the half and half treatment. A temp delivered and saw no card. I'm still not clear on it. I don't get how my mailman is involved if it is flagged at the sorter level. I think they said some mail slips through and need to be collected/stopped by the mail carrier and relabeled at the post office for forwarding.

And to top it off, they didn't stop the forwarding on the date requested (as usual). I had to call again (every time) and alert them. Good thing we live in such an advanced age. I swear a multitude of things were less screwed up when we had imbeciles running the show instead of machines and computers. Or are the imbeciles so imbecilic today that they circumvent the reliability of the machines and computers? In any case, think twice about forwarding your mail. You may have been a Publisher's Clearing House winner and you would never know.

Sweet! By Good Golly Miss Holly, UCF

I purchased a dozen assorted cupcakes from this bakery a little south of 50 on N. Alalfaya before Christmas. Everyone, who subsequently tasted them, concluded that they were outrageous. Every type. People who didn't think they liked certain flavors liked them like this. I don't really understand cupcakes (or more accurately the cupcake craze) and I loved them. Moist. Flavorful. Fresh. I think the owner was on one of those cupcake/cake contests on cable (the only food shows I don't watch) and came in second. I'd like to know who came in first! I recommend that everyone come see about this. Hopefully, the parking crunch has subsided by now. Ah, Christmas. Gotta love you.

Casa Linda, UCF

I had lunch at this Cuban/Mexican (they said they are dropping the Mexican) restaurant on N. Alafaya and 50 before Christmas. I had two eggs with ham and pressed Cuban bread for around $4 and a shredded beef taco for around $2. The eggs were sunny side up instead of over easy. They had a large layer of clear mucous from under cooking. The ham was that disgusting Hispanic ham that is way too salty. The bread was the best thing on the plate. The taco was just as bad. They just threw some, what I deduced must have been, Ropa Vieja on a raw tortilla. The good points about the spot were the service and the condition of the place. It seems new. I'd bet it was a Mexican place before this that some Cubans released. I think they care about the food quality and I just ordered the two things you shouldn't if you don't like certain ingredients or cooking methods or items that require translation. If that is what Cuban ham is going to taste like then I should avoid it. If the place has Cuban owners, I should avoid the Mexican food (especially if they tell you they are discontinuing it). If I am worried about a language barrier I shouldn't order something in slang. However, if they do keep it on the menu then they should do it right. Don't use Ropa for Mexican flavored beef and steam or grill the tortilla. And I think I set them right on what the difference is between over easy and sunny side up so hopefully that is sorted (as the English say). Lastly, the prices are ridiculously reasonable. I'm talking fast food comparable. I wouldn't make a trip to find them, but, it offers good value for people who live in the area. It seats about forty.