Linda's Winter Park Diner, Winter Park - Closed

I had a turkey club for lunch at this diner next to 4 Rivers (Fairbanks) on Tuesday. It cost $8. It was fine. It came with crisp fries. The T and L were fresh. The turkey seemed better than that that you get at Subway, etc. My buddy had an egg omelet. He likes the place. He says it has been there for 25+ years. It has the usual menu. large. It seats about 60. It has two rooms. The inside is all white. It's old. They hang sketches of famous, old celebs on the wall. It was full. Parking is limited. They only take cash. Linda is still in charge.

Filomena's Pizzeria, Lake Mary

I grabbed a slice at this "Brooklyn Style" Italian restaurant on Sunday. It cost $2. It was a large thick slice that was slightly under cooked (flour taste and raw in spots). That may have been because they pulled it early because I was waiting or they pull the pie a little early that is to be reheated as slices. It was lacking in cheese coverage as well. They have four pizza sizes. They serve chicken, beef, veal, pasta, stromboli, calzones, subs, burgers, etc. I hope they can handle the breadth and things aren't frozen. A menu this long usually indicates the opposite. It's a clean place.It seats about 60. It has been in these hands for two years. I think I've been here for two other ownerships. I noticed I hadn't reviewed it when I went the The European Bakery a few weeks back. It's on 17-92 near the turn off for SSC. My guess is that it is neither great nor terrible. Service was polite.

The "Dam" Smoker, Eustis

Even though this place is yards away (on the other side of 19) from Mason Jar, they say it's in Eustis. It's a bbq joint. They have been open for either 8 or 12 years. They don't seem to have learned much (at least about beef) in that time. I had a sliced beef sandwich that they said was brisket, but, was probably a roast on Sunday. It was dry. Had little smoke flavor and no ring. It was grey. It had no fat. It was cut too thin. Total fail. It cost $6. They also had pulled pork and ribs. Maybe they do a better job with those. It looks like a promising bbq shed. It has an outside patio and an inside area. They had a blue grass band playing at 2pm. I saw it this summer passing by. It stuck in my mind. I wish it hadn't.

Mason Jar, Umitilla

I had lunch at this lets call it white soul food restaurant on Sunday. It's on SR 19 in between Eustis and Umitilla. I had an open faced roast beef sandwich with mashed potatoes because I was trying to outrun the heartburn I had experienced over the last few days and nothing else seemed that appetizing or benign to my hung over body. Unfortunately, I missed breakfast hours. The cost of the dandified shit on a shingle was $9. It wasn't bad. Lots of beef. Not overcooked. The potatoes and gravy (not salty) were good. I will never get the inclusion of sliced white bread that these places serve. It was part of the dish. Sunday was all you can eat fried chicken day. It looked good. It's that kind of menu. Old school classics. It seats about 60. It was packed with people who look like they vote Huckabee. It reminded me of some scary "meet the inbred (?) parents" introductory meals with soon to be discarded girl friends. The decor is old lady, tag sale bric a brac. Service was good. In case you are wondering why the hell I went here - it was in a regional review done by the Sentinel a while back and my day at the beach got rained out. I saw it on a trip last Spring to find the setting for the book The Yearling. I don't think you have to make a special slog up there for it. It isn't that special.

Pub Crawl - Dowtown: The Shisha Bowl, Side Bar and Crow Bar

I went to these bars on Saturday night.

9:30- 10pm: Shisha Bowl - They replace the Therapy Bar in that (is it still KEL) building on E. Washington. It's craft beer, some shit wine and hookahs now. Some live music. It looks good. A psychedelic rock feel to the art. The staff was nice. I think (hell I saw them) they get high on their own supply. I hate smoke, so, I'll never get the appeal. Plus can you imagine sake bars proliferating during WWII. But, these kids will invite any carcinogen (that is a metaphor) into their system. Maybe they just don't see the optics of it. They are supposed to be socially tone deaf. Maybe they don't see the insensitivity of it. Maybe they have just been so programmed to self hate that they have no free will. Maybe they are just addicted to smoking. But why ape Arabic customs when you have things like E-cigs? Any way. If you want to suck a metaphorical Arab cock then you have been given an oasis in Downtown.

10pm-1am: Side Bar - I think this place was called Vixen. It's the one that took bullets a few months ago. It looks good now. A great mural up front. They made a slightly roomier. I was just going to try it, but, they had a cute bartender and my alma mater's game came on the tv. The DJ was also good. Many people came and went. Alot of Latins, but, a fair amount of whitey's. No antagonism. I think they said it has been open for two weeks.

1-1:30am: Crow Bar - I went back to see how they were doing. Doing well. Nice crowd. A DJ. Still had all the original staff plus a few more.

Vincenzo, I Drive

I had dinner at this Italian restaurant in that strip mall with Charley's and the bowling alley (near the ferris wheel) on Friday. It was what I expected. An overpriced, under performing imitation of an authentic Italian experience. The problems started with parking. There was none. All the restaurants in this area cordon off sections of the lot for their personal use. And there is no way I'm trusting my vehicle with the idiot valets. Then the bitchy hostess pretended like there was only bar seating available when that was not the case and then gave me a quasi-bar area seating after all. Then the kitchen nightmares started. I kind of just wanted small portions of excellent food and they gave large portions of mishandled food. I had chinghalle (they spell in cinghale) bruschetta for $12. They served four "toasts" of the saltiest pulled pork ever created. The pork (doubt it was real wild boar) was dry and the sauce was reduced too far. They topped it with a dollop of what I assume was burrata. It didn't pair well and was sour. I have never experienced spoiled cheese before. I hope they aren't making it themselves and screwing it up. I also hope it's not because they don't throw stuff out.  I had the salmon penne ala vodka for the entree. It was $20. The salmon was very fishy. I will give them a break and blame it on the ham handed fish mongering and not the freshness of their supply (because the salmon was firm). They didn't carve off the grey/brown parts of the salmon and its rankness polluted the dish. The vodka sauce was also bisquey (they have this on the menu and couldn't possible sub it into this dish right?) tasting. A separate sea taste from the fish. The penne was well cooked and plentiful. But, it is a terrible pairing. The first and last time I order that. Salmon is way too funky for this sauce. This dish was also saltier than it needed to be. I doubt anyone is tasting the food before it comes out. Service was ok considering they left it up to the bartender. Class move. The place seats about eighty. The have a separate dining room that doubles that capacity. I suppose it is for private affairs. The look is kind of sterile. I usually hate the pack rat feel of most Italian places, but, this place only has the main components of furniture and no decolletage. It's new and modern. I'd guess the furnishings were from a mass market supplier. The menu tries to be progressive. prices are all over the places. You can pay $38 for fish and $10 for lasagna. Apps border entree pricing. The crowd was very ordinary and some people looked they just came from a theme park. I only went here because I hadn't before and it needed to be got. That and this stupid Cowgirls bar nearby has to be reviewed and they are about three months passed due and still not open so that didn't happen. I don't recommend it. It's a me too and that me too is some jerky second generation Italian family from Jersey or Vegas who thinks they cook like they do in Bologna. I believe they have been around for two years. Oh yeah, they gouge on drinks. $3.50 for a soda. Wine would have made the check insupportable.

Ararat, I Drive - Closedf

This is a Eastern European Deli and Restaurant. It is about three store fronts away from Ana's in that strip mall on Universal Dr. I also saw this place this summer. I grabbed a ground beef pirozhki and some Syrniki (pancakes stuffed with cheese) to go from the restaurant and some cheese from the market. The pirozhki cost a mere $2 and was fresh. The pastry was tastier than the plentiful meat filling. The pancakes (4 coaster sized) cost $7. I don't get how this is an appetizer, but, they were well made and tasty. Just a hint of a sour cream/cream cheese like filling in a sweet, corn (?) batter. They were yellow so you tell me.  They may have been better eaten cold. The menu has alot of cutlets, kebabs, etc. A Cornish hen dish seemed intriguing. Stroke Me Off. The deli may have the best East European selection in town. Things like: quarter smoked chicken, sausages, caviar, tongue, cheese beer, pickled everything, etc. I think the ownership is Russian. The staff seemed to be from a variety of places. There are probably under ten of these places in CF. This may be the best. I'd love to come back for dinner. It seem like it would be a crazy place. The staff is full of hot blonds too if that appeals to you. And you don't have to drive to North Miami for it. It's a peculiar name. Ararat is a mountain in Turkey that borders Iran. I don't quite understand the nexus.

Ana's Kitchen, I Drive - Moved

I had lunch at this Brazilian restaurant in that strip mall near the Treasure Tavern (?) dinner theater. They say on Universal Blvd. I saw it this summer when I went to that sushi place. It's only open for lunch, so, I haven't had the chance. I showed up at 11:30 and it was a good thing I did. It pretty much filled up within five minutes of opening. It was packed when I first saw it too. It must be a hidden secret in the Brazilian community. The menu is smallish. Around ten dishes. I'm fairly certain it is changed often. It seemed way different than what I saw this summer. I had a Bifstek Acebolado (steak and onions) for $11.50. I didn't even want that, but, it had a fried egg on it so it was the closest thing to brunch. The steak (skirt?) was huge and cooked perfectly (with barely any gristle). Not rare because we all know that Cook's Country Kitchen told us that this cut need to be cooked ten to fifteen degrees warmer than a choicer cut. So the connective tissue can relax/release. The egg was a little overcooked if the yolk was meant to be a sauce. The caramelized onions were good. The white rice was plentiful. The beans were outrageous. I don't get what the Latin fascination is with white rice and beans, but, if these smoky beans (that caused no flatulence) were what everyone served then I would get it. The rest of the menu was meat oriented. It has been open for two years. It seats about thirty. The crowd was mainly Brazilian. A few gringos came and left when they saw the wait. They have cute, feminine art on the walls. A doll theme. It has a pastel color scheme. Clean. I thought this might be a diamond in the rough when I first saw it. I'm glad I went back to confirm. A step above the Brazilian buffet places on I Drive. Way more character. I believe there is an Ana and she came to ask me how my meal was.

Bavaro's Pizza Napoletana, Winter Springs - Closed

I had dinner at this Italian restaurant on Tuskawilla (near Red Bug Lake Rd) on Friday. I was at surprised at the experience I encountered. I thought it was going to be some bohunk type pizzeria with a name that evokes indomitable Tight Ends more than quality dining. It turns out that this is a rather snazzy offshoot of a Tampa restaurant. It espouses quality sourcing and time worn techniques. The space is vibrant. The far wall of the open kitchen (you feel like you are in a teaching kitchen) is all copper. Then there is a bar acting as a dividing line. And finally a black toned dining area that is the the least impressive part of the room. It must seat around forty in all. That kitchen dominates the room. I will say that they do a poor job of hiding the eye sores in the kitchen. I would put the spices in non-surplus plastic containers. I would hide the plastic glass containers. That sort of thing. I sat at the bar (because it was full) and had a prosciutto pizza for $15. For all the bluster about their "process", I found it just ok. It was close on the cook time, but, lacked a crunch. The "prosciutto" would probably not qualify as such under Italian law. It was not aged long enough. Some kind of pre-sliced, slightly aged American impostor if I had to guess. I could live with the thrift if it didn't water down my pizza and turn the dough to paste. Too much water content! They topped it with flor di latte. I'm not sure if I've seen that appellation on cheese before. It was good. They make most of their pizzas with this fresh mozzarella like cheese. The sauce was just San Marzanos. The pizza oven was legit. They serve some pasta, but, it is mostly pizza. Parking is difficult as they share it with a Graffiti Junction. Service was good. I applaud the dedication to getting it right (zero flour, etc). I just wish it applied to all the components. I probably stumbled upon their one "accommodation" pizza. I'll presume they do the rest without abandoning their mantra. I'd encourage you to go. This level of pizza-ing isn't as rare as it used to be, but, it still needs to be acknowledged when it happens.

PSA - Complaints Tip

The web site www.elliott.org is great. I've used it twice (got the idea from an article in The Sentinel) to get the email addresses for rental car executives (I'm talking the CEOs) and they have fixed issues that I have had with their companies in one email exchange. Issues that I was getting the run around with from their minions on. I assume they have the emails for alot of companies. You can probably type the address and then backslash the company you have an issue with and get a result. I've always had that name so I haven't looked to see if they have a directory or search feature.

NSB Yu-Mi Sushi Cafe, New Smyrna Beach

I grabbed some sushi to go on my way out of town on Friday. This place is in the Publix shopping center near the Spanish River Grill (off the main road in). I had some crispy but not sweet conch for $4. An order of ugly looking salmon (pale, no fat) for $4. And an order of baby octopus that hadn't thawed yet. They did give you two octopi per order though. The rice was properly prepared. They serve a big portion of rice on each piece. The place looks nice and modern and clean. I think they are just open for dinner at 5pm. I was there right at opening so it wasn't very full. They also do teryaki, etc.

Barracuda's Bar and Grille, New Smyrna Beach

I grabbed a few beers at this spot just off Flagler Dr (the main street) on Friday. They have your typical sports bar menu. It was nicer inside than I expected. The people were nice. It's across the parking lot from the ocean. It has an e at the end of Grill, so  you know they are serious.

Gnarly Surf Bar, New Smyrna Beach

I grabbed lunch at this place near the draw bridge on Flagler Dr on Friday. I originally saw it when I went to The Grille at Riverview. It's a little house with a surfing vibe. I had a Mahi BLT for $12. It was surprisingly good. Big portion. I had to split the sandwich into two open face ones. Fresh, thick Mahi. Crisp Bacon. Two nicely fried slices of green tomato. Cress. A nice bun. A mayo based dressing. The sole problem was that it (fish) was a bit over spiced with blackening seasoning. It came with "skin on" fries. I hate these because they never cook evenly. The small ones get eviscerated and the big ones are limp. That happened here. The "skin" taste also doesn't pair well with fish. The soda was served in a small glass. However, they gave me a to go cup without prodding. The menu is sandwich/burger centric. They toss in some seafood. They have been open for four years. It seats around twenty inside and thirty outside. There were three other tables dining. They decorate the place with surfboards and cute art. It's cleaner than most places like this. Service was good.

Fred's Market, Lake Mary - Closed

I went to this buffet restaurant on Wednesday for lunch. It is on the northeast side of the I4 exit in Lake Mary. It used to be a Macaroni Grill. I have been waiting all summer for it to open. I thought it was going to be a yuppified Southern place with a gourmet market from what I had read about it. It's really just a Cracker Barrel that isn't a la carte. It looks ok inside. They did some thrifty redecorating. Quotes on the walls, the splashes of wood that seem to be a decorating requirement for urban bbq/southern restaurants and some blown up photos in frames. It seats about 90. Wood tables and booths. There was a Cracker Barrel like crowd waiting outside to be seated at one pm. They have been open for two weeks. I think Robert's last name is Johnson (in all the photos) and he has around five of these places in Florida and the first was in Plant City. It's that type of place. Lots of fattening, old southern food for people about to have their feet amputated. I tried a little of a lot for you people and here is the run down: Pot Roast - ok but everyone scooped out the meat, fried chicken - ok, fried catfish - ok, mashed potatoes - good, grits - ok, fried green tomatoes - good, corn bread - bad - really salty skillet style, cheese biscuit - good, potato salad - ok, Waldorf salad - ok, mushroom salad - ok, pulled pork - first batch was dry and terrible - second batch they brought out was good/fresh, lasagna - terrible - tasteless and overcooked, mac and cheese - bad - they just melted oily processed cheese on overcooked macaroni, pecan pie - poor. They let you have unlimited trip for $11.49. One trip to all bars is around $10. It is cheaper for one trip to the salad bar, etc. The specials change every day. There is overlap. Monday is rib day. That has to be a zoo. The things I passed on were stewed veggies, broiled talapia, pies, soups and most of the salad bar.  I think a soda was over $2. They use small glasses, but, refills are free. They have free (used) newspapers up front. Service was good. If I went back, I would just do the salad bar. I must have gained five pounds on this visit. I'd have preferred a Coop type place. The last thing I (and all of us) need is the pairing of unhealthy and unlimited. They will probably do well. It was still packed when I left and the parking lot was jammed when I went by the day before. There are enough undiscerning volume eaters in the area. The big losers in the area will be Jason's "Deli", Wilted Clit and Slob Heaveans.

Spice Thai, OIA

I had lunch at this Thai restaurant in the second strip mall (distance wise) away from OIA around two weeks ago. It has been there for a while and I ate here once when it was a sushi place. It was pretty much the last (non-chain) place I hadn't eaten at on all the airport routes. It was ok if it wasn't the cause of my anal confetti cannon hours later. I had the yellow curry chicken with vegetables and white rice for $8 (I think - total was $10 but I think I had a Coke). The portion was smallish. The rice was overcooked (mushy). The usual plating. The room seats around fifty. It is tastefully decorated in a modern style. Your typical Thai place. They also served some non-Thai stuff like udon. Specials consisted of talapia and soft shell crab. It's closed Sunday. Average.

La Casa de los Chimis, Orlando

I grabbed a chicken chimi to go from this spot on 436 in between 50 and the 408 around two weeks ago. I tried googling "chimi", but, the results said it was some kind of Dominican burger. These gals didn't look Dominican. Rather some kind of Central or South American nationality. In any case, they sell these "chimi" sandwiches and stuff like grilled steak, fried junk and mofongos. The chimi was $6. It was a dry, burnt chicken breast with a mass/mess of shredded cabbage on top. The roll was ok. It may have been responsible for the explosion in my plumbing a few hours later. Then again it could have been the meal at the next post or the airline food. The place is tiny. The counter girl was a bit surly. Not sure if it was on my account or she'd rather be out running around with her friends and getting pregnant than working for her mom. She really made you work your Spanish even though I think she understood English. I was too scared to give them my credit card , so, I paid in cash. They are open seven days a week and until 3am on Th-Sn. Pass.

Europe Bakery, Lake Mary - Closed

I had lunch at this new European/South American restaurant on 17-92. It is near SSC in a decaying strip mall next to some weirdo church/school. I was really surprised. I was surprised that it was open. They have that Latin/Roman way of making the outside look unimpressive - for the tax man and pillagers. It looked closed from the street. This could be a problem for them. I was surprised at the menu. I expected Eastern European for some reason. They should know that most western "European" places in America call out their nationalities (French, Italian, etc) and only the "newer" EU countries use "European" to describe their places because most Americans have never heard of their country and don't know it is in Europe. And most Americans are dubious about any place but Europe (ie other white people). Lastly, I was surprised that the place was good and had a huge menu. You can go two ways. You can get some "traditional" western European style food from the Italian blooded chef/owner or some of his and his Argentinian wife's South American dishes or their (SA) reinterpretations of European dishes. Too many to list. I had a chicken empanada that I asked for baked instead of fried. It takes twenty minutes that way, so, I had it to go. It was good. Good crust. The stuffing had olives in it. It cost $2.50. I also had a toasted ham and cheese sandwich with some pithy nick name (that I forgot) for $5. It was very thin. Two sandwiches. Some kind of Monterrey Jack/Provolone cheese that I'm sure is common in SA. The ham was that salty type. I also had a cheeseburger for $6. The burger meat was that weird non-American stuff you get overseas. I don't know how they fuck it up, but, it always tastes like bad Salisbury steak. I used to blame their sickly looking cows, but, I think it may be additives. The patty was also too dense. It seemed form molded (not hand). That can squeeze the meat. You don't want to squeeze the meat. It's very delicate. They used the same cheese here. The bun was glossy. A little tough in spots. Large. The fries (steak fries) were very crisp and plentiful. The best part of the meal. There may have been some vegetables on top. Prices are all over the place. Some things are way out of line (both ways). They have an attached bakery that has an (I'm not saying plethora or copious) impressive selection of pastries, etc. The place is large. Probably two commercial spaces joined together. Some kind of egg shale color on the walls with a few blow up posters of Buenos Aires and some flat screens. The furniture is weird. It's new and clean, but, I think it is all Home Depot patio wear. And there are two types of it. I guess it will ensure you get a cleanly wiped dining experience. As I said, I was pleasantly surprised. More people than I expected were coming in for the baked good (and maybe to go meals). They are open 7 days a week and for all three meals. They have music and dancing on the weekends. If you aren't aware, Argentina (and may SA countries) has had many Europeans immigrate over the last two hundred years. The cuisine reflects that. Especially when you have a self-identifying one at the helm. You should give it a shot. They have been open for just a few weeks. The food was good and the service was warm and efficient.