Napoli's, Winter Springs

I had a sausage hero at this Italian restaurant on 434 on Wednesday for $3.95. It was a great bargain. The bread was good. The sausage (although more Jimmie Dean than Italian Pork) had some sort of pleasant (nutmeg?) spice to it. The tomato sauce was not sweet. The restaurant is more American than Italian in look and feel. The travel posters and facts of Italy placemats don't really transport you. The service was a one person job. They know who they are and deliver rather than disappoint as many of their breathen do. Half the price equals hald the expectation and twice the satisfaction.

Hibachi Express, Casselberry

I ate lunch at this Japanese restaurant on 17-92 on Wednesday. I had the sushi/sashimi lunch for $12.95. It was 5 pieces of sushi (tuna, shrimp, 2 salmon and white tuna and 4 pieces of a Cali Roll) and 7 pieces of sashimi (2 tuna, 2 salmon, 2 white tuna, 1 snapper and 4 pieces of Cali roll). Now of course it wasn't great but it was bountiful. The rice was a little old and crunchy but at least they didn't vinegar it. They cut the the fish long and thin rather ham handedly. It came with a soup and salad. The place is like most chinese takeout places in appearance. You order up front and serve yourself drinks and tableware and bus your own station, but, I got the impression they still were expecting a tip. Why? I might have received some extra attention. You decide if you want to risk it. All in all the place is adequate for a cheap sushi fix. They also do hibachi and serve liquor. There were some original menu items.

Urban Cafe, Lake Mary - Closed

I had lunch at this Breakfast/Peruvian/Greek (huh?) restaurant on Lake Mary Blvd (near Blockbuster) on Sunday. I had a pita wrap of scambled egg, sausage, potatos, and chesse for $5. Great value. Great flavor. The authentic pita made the dish. The place is nothing to write home about and the Peruvian selection was limited (and Peruvian spaghetti?) but Lake Mary doesn't have a diner (let alone a good diner) so this place has a monopoly. Nice people too.

Club Crawl - Tastings, Lodge and Ember

9pm-11pm: Tastings. I tried this new wine bar on Washington near Lake Eola (in what I call the Lipstick Building) that lets you take sips and pay via a card. It's like a smaller Wine Room of Winter Park. It was clean and new. It was nice. It was empty. Only for wine experimentation so far.

11pm-12am: The Lodge. Typical current and aged Frat/Sor clientele listening to 80's music.

12am-1am: Ember. Back into a pumpkin City of Lights. Last week's sexy crowd was replaced by the fat, the ugly and the poor. A slice of pizza seemed like a more satisfying alternative. Let's hope some hard bodies from Arizona show up next weekend. Pittsburgh trolls please stay home (or go to Central Station).

Hamburger Mary's, Church Street

I've been itching to write this review since in entered this burger joint and sat down onto a cushion full of crumbs. I just hopeful that the Church Street malaise will claim this atrocity shortly. I had the BJ Burger for $9.95! It was a burnt (supposed to be medium rare), tasteless, anemic patty that some moron had pressed all his weight into (no juice). Did I mention it was 10 bucks! I know it was abused in this fashion because it came split in sections. It had guacamole (teaspoons worth) and two strips of bacon. The side of potato salad originally came as a side of slaw (Sounds alike, right?). It was delivered in about 25 minutes (needed to overcook it) by a second waiter who was called upon to replace my original waitress disappeared into the kitchen for the said 25 minutes without ever checking in or delivering my much needed beer. The place was almost empty. Needless to say, I ate the meal in apprehension that they had given my food some extra attention. The place is also so very gay friendly that you get a weird vibe. Now I have nothing against men who love men or women who love women, it's just uncomfortable being in that environment. It's like a Felini film for us hetero's. As noted earlier, the place was dirty under it's veneer and the service was bad. The place relies on it's design, theme and it's gay delineation to the detriment of management, quality and value. I would never go there again.

Salad Creations, Altamonte Springs

I had a large Heart healthy Salad for $6 at this salad bar on Friday. It's in the Uptown Altamonte complex. This salad was terrible. I'm still tasting the toxic raw onions. The tomatoes were tasteless and resembled salsa. Even the ranch dressing tasted weird. It made me physically disconfited. The place is nice and clean. They have oldnewspapers and magazine to read. The portions are enormous. They just need better produce.

Cafe Positano NY Pizza, Sanford

I had a regular slice for $1.50 and a deep dish slice for $2.50 on Wednesday at this Italian restaurant where the old Vivona's used to be. The slice was good (reheated). The deep dish was excellent. Fresh out of the oven, it had fresh basil on it and didn't resemble the usual grease sponge that usually can describe a deep dish pizza. It's not fancy and the rest of the menu is probably average, but, it is definetly the spot for a slice or two.

Club Crawl - Stardust Lounge and Ember

9pm-12am: I started at Stardust Lounge around the corner from Spice. It was a cool club. Nicely appointed clientele. Typical of that area. The drinks were cheap. They has $2 beers. $5 Stoli's. No cover. It was pretty full by 12. It's on the list now.

12am-2am: I ended up at Ember. I rarely make it to closing time. Too depressing. But, this was the finest night in Orlando history. I had to drag myself out before I became breathalizer bait. I don't know where they shipped in these people, but, they were hot. They were young. They were sophisticated. Everyone was dressed well because of the cold. The club is half indoor and half outdoor. It's well laid out and decorated. I know I'll go there next week and it will suck. But, for one night Orlando did not induce thought of suicide.

Bravissimo, Orlando - Closed

I had dinner at this Italian restaurant outside Thornton Park last night. It's a good thing for you that it's almost impossible to find. I had an antipasto plate for $10 after viewing the sliced nova they try to pass off as carpaccio. The eggplant and mushrooms were so saturated with balsamic vinegar that they ruined my glass of wine with they after taste. I had the Penne della Casa at $13 for an entree. It took them an eternity to bring it out. Which makes sense since the penne was wiltingly overcooked. The sauce (peas, pancetta, onions, tomatos, cream) was alright. The service was uneven. The place has no parking. It looks like an old tavern that they tried to gay up with art (not Italian art either). The clientele was a nightmare. I sat next to a group of Jewish women who could not shut up about their children or infirmities. Are any Jews not health obssessed? I thought you went out on Friday night with your husband to forget your domestic duties? On my left was a group of bears in which one of the table said he hadn't had a good meal in Orlando for 7 months. He felt good about this place after trying his Caesar salad (followed by Lasgana). There's nothing as depressing as a uncultured, pedestrian gay. Across from me was a family birthday party. Complete with noisy children and old people. I had such a headache after I left this dump that it took 3 vodka shots to recover.

I advise them to go out of business.

Copacabana, Apopka

I had lunch on Friday at this Cuban restaurant. I had a shredded pork panini for $5. The half of the pork (huge serving) that wasn't salted to death was tasty. The place is kind of drab. It's a self serve kind of place. They did seem to have an interesting selection of entrees. It's in the Piedmont Plaza.

Los Portales, Casselberry (Closed)

I had dinner at this Peruvian/Columbian restaurant this Thursday. I had what was suppossed to be steamed sea bass with fried cassava and a Peruvian beer. I got grilled sea bass for $13. It was simultaneously under and over done. It had almost no flavor. I should have tried some of their more ambitious dishes. They seemed well prepared. The place is light on ambience. It looks like they dancehall it becomes every Friday and Saturday. The owners were very nice. The service (same) was quick. Although, there was only one other table eating at 9pm. It across 436 from Patsio's.

Internet seems to think it re-opened or never closed. I could swear it did.

Mima's, Winter Park

I had a beef empanada at this Cuban restaurant for $2. I was expecting a little more flavor. The beef seemed kind of boiled. It was a very clean and had a modern feel. It's next to Carlucci's.

Negril's, Winter Park

I had a chicken empanada at this Jamaican restaurant on Wednesday for under $2. It was tasty. The place was clean and the managment seemed nice. It's across from Bubbalous.