Burger 21, Mall at Millenia Area

I had lunch at this burger joint on Conroy near the Mall at Millenia on Thursday. I had $7 chesseburger. It was ok. Fatter than a Burgerfi burger. Much less flavor than one (and I'm not in love with the Fi). It was grey inside and out (did a vampire bat get to this before me?). It was strictly formed. And even though it was probably never a frozen hockey puck, the molded form put that impression in my sub-conscious. I guess I prefer hand formed "house burgers" now. Oddly, the patty split in two while I was eating it. A sloppy cook checking for doneness? They put it in a brioche bun. I never liked that concept. It overpowers the beef flavor with a cloying sweetness. And in this case that was all too easily accomplished. The place looks hip. It's decked out in monochromes. They have a "shake" bar. Rejoice all ye fatties. Valhalla has surfaced. It sits about seventy. It was packed at 1pm. I think it's a northern Florida chain. There is a war for hamburger supremacy going on. Why? I have no idea. This is one of the contenders. Now if they can concentrate on the focal point. That would be nice. Don't rush to overpay for 50 cents worth of ground chuck anally formed and clumsily cooked. Hopefully, the fad will be over soon. They also serve some gross looking seafood burgers.

Tacos El Rancho, Belle Isle

I stopped at this Mexican restaurant near the Publix on Hoffner and Conway on the way to the airport two weeks ago. I had a lengua (tongue) soft taco for $2.35 and a shredded pork soft taco for $2.35. Both were huge and delicious. Maybe a pound of meat each. They were topped with crema and hot sauce and salsa. The tongue wasn't as tender as some that I have had. It's something about peeling off the top layer or not. Still good. This place is no nonsense. It isn't a looker (but more than respectable and clean), but, the trim menu is the real deal. The prices are good too. The tacos are the cheapest. They have been in business for four years. A great find if you want a snack in the area (ie on your way out of town on an airline that doesn't serve meals). Real Mexican food. Not Tex-Mex.

Grub Crawl - Winter Park: Tiffany's Deli (Closed), Avenue and Matilda's (Closed)

I visited these places on Park Avenue in the middle of the week for lunch about two weeks ago (then went on a trip).

Tiffany's Deli - I had some sort of chocolate mousse pie with a crushed oreo crust for $5. It was ok. They tried. Just a bad recipe. Too much oreo. They really don't know how to make mousse. Too sweet. The whipped cream was the high light. This is a chick restaurant. Pretentious deli salads and sandwiches at inflated prices aimed at girls with daddy's or hubby's credit card. Not bad. Just not necessary. Perfect for a place like Winter Park. Across from Mary Magdalene Church/School.

Avenue - The same exact Thai/Sushi experience that the last ownership offered up. And the one before that. And the one before that. Ad inifinitum. This place has been around four iterations of the same theme. I don't know why this one will be any more successful (for ownership). How much fat can you cut off a continually failed business model? I just ordered a Tom Yum Soup to go for $5 because I've done this dance too many times before. They gave me a half of a to go bowl. Of sour piss water. How much would it have cost you too fill up the bowl? 1 cent? Just water it down. Avoid so we can see who the next Thai/Sushi afficiando will step up to claim it. It's like an Asian Sword in the Stone. It's near the 7-11.

Matilda's - Speaking of retreads. This place is on the far end near the Tiffany museum and has had to have been through a dozen ownership changes since the millenium (and an equal amount in the days before). I just reviewed the last turkey a few months ago. I predicted failure and was correct again. They had no real unifying theme. This version is Australian themed. A quizzical move because they really have few idiosyncratic dishes (as the menu illustrates) to draw from (calling an American dish Aussified or a single Kangaroo burger hardly qualify), but, I guess they are going for attitude. The funny thing is the food was very good and the portion was monstrous. I had the fish (mahi-mahi) tacos for around $11. It may have been the first time I was served what was promised in a fish taco - fresh fish that was what it was supposed to be and had flavor and texture. They also stuffed the soft tortillas (double wrapped) with vibrant vegetables (including avocado). Three of these bad boys were a challenge to consume in one sitting. Great job. The place looks great (it usually does). They opened up the front room so it is more of a waiting area/bar. They put in a middle counter, a new bar area and lots of TVs. Good flow. I would hide the high chairs though. The wait staff was good. Mostly pretty, little (semi) things in tight shorts and informal tops (not slutty though). I still say the location at the end of the avenue is a killer. Everyone gets sucked up before they see this option. Not good in a town half filled with day trippers. However, maybe they can do some advertising so people will come looking for them to begin with. I hope they aren't hanging their hopes on walk ins. Good luck because I'm sick of milking the same cow. To put it politely.

Matilda's failed and now has the audacity to put up a sign that says they are just remodeling. I hear some Tampa group is the next to wiff. Can't wait to waste my time - AGAIN.

Sizzling Grill, Longwood - Closed

I had lunch at this diner/cafe on 434 (across from Ali Baba, Korea House and La Fonda) in the old Apna location on Saturday. I could provide a case study on what I would do, but, I spoke at length with the owner and I understand his vision. He is wants to offer a diverse menu (influenced by his work in similarly inspired restaurants in the Mid West (where he trained). He suggested the idea was inspired by his niece who prefers spaghetti and meatballs to the traditional food her immigrant parents force on her. They are Indian. The new owner bought Apna (Indian) from a cousin and is trying to appeal to an Americanized generation of Indian-Americans. Now this reminds me of the Seinfeld episode where Jerry gets the Pakistani owner (Babu) to change his menu after his similarly inspired menu fails to find an audience. I'm not going to make the same mistake as Jerry. I will question the name though. The name is pretty nebulous to begin with and isn't evocative of the selections on the menu. There isn't much on the menu that is grilled. Plus it sounds like a better name for a churasscaria. That aside, the owner seems to have a handle on costs. He is the kitchen and he has one server. That's low overhead. Basically no salaries. They said they did refurb, but, it looks the same to me. He is eschewing marketing costs. That's the real reason I'm writing about this. I would risk my credibility if I encouraged you to go out of your way to dine here, but, I would like to give a little free PR aimed at people who live in the area and want a simple experience. The owner is in for the long haul. He wants the audience to assemble through word of mouth. He has a road construction issue anyway, so, he is doing a slow burn until it is completed. Now the meal I had (Chicken Tikka charbroiled Tandoor style with Basmati Rice or Naan for $9) was overcooked, but, it was a small sample size and I think he can do better. The rice seemed like it had been sitting (dry and crunchy) and the chicken was tough and dry. It didn't help the presentation that they just gave me a can of soda (no glass or ice). The dish I had is part of the remenants of the Indian menu (about 5 dishes). The rest of menu is diner-esque. Think Greek diner without the Greek add ons just Indian. Once again, I can't recommened it for foodies, but, the owner is great and he has his head on straight and he just wants his little no-frills piece of the market. If this appeals to you, you know where to find him.

World Gourmet, Altamonte Springs

Here comes the dreaded "day of" review. The one that means that they disppointed me so badly that I couldn't keep myself from reporting on it immediately. I had lunch at this buffet house on 436 (in the old Sam Seltzer's location) today. The buffet cost $8. It was, at best, like every other mediocre buffet option in town and, at worst, really off putting. I had some mediocre sushi, chicken fingers, a deplorable butter salmon and one greasy salt baked shrimp (or larvae). The sushi was mostly scraps and fake crab. They didn't replenish it the whole time I was there and it needed to be. The selection was sparse to begin with. The salmon tasted rank and was hard as a rock. Lord knows how many days it had been there. The butter sauce tasted like a sweet and sour sauce. I had one bite and quit. The salt baked shrimp was tiny. Not as small as the freeze dried shrimp I feed my fish, but, close enough. It had to be frozen and straight out of the freezer aisle in a hypermarket. The chicken fingers were the high light. That's all you need to know. Even the plastic wrapped, fortune cookies were stale. The inside is spartan and dingy. Little money went into the refurb. They must have spent half their budget on the sign outside. It's the only decent thing they have brought to the area. Avoid.

Istanbul, Lake Mary - Closed

I had lunch at this fairly new (one month) Turkish restaurant on 46A on Tuesday. It's in the spot formerly occupied by the know-it-alls at Finesse. And since I, single-handedly (to listen to them) ruined their prospects with that most unwelcome of all actions - unsolicited advice, I will try and avoid that in this review. The place looks nearly the same. It still has the floor plan that Wine Down brought in. They repainted and erased the quotations on the wall. It looks fine. It seats the same amount of people (100+). They serve Turkish food in the style of Istanbul (derr). The menu is pretty compact (about ten entrees and a few less appetizers and desserts). They serve lamb, chicken, seafood and even booze. The dinner menu is similar to the lunch. I had a lamb donner (revolving) kebab (roast meat) lunch special for $10. Most meals are plus or minus two dollars of this price point. It came with a half a potato, buttered rice pilaf and carrots (I think). Everything was fresh. The lamb (carved in what most people understand as gyro style) was freshly made in house. I had the first trimmings for the first time in my life. I know this because it was the first time the outer layer of fat was ever visible on my plate. It was a healthy portion. The rice may have been a little fattening with the butter, but, it does impart flavor. The vegetables were fresh. I probably wouldn't serve starch with starch (there goes the unsolicited, enterprise collapsing advice), but, it did provide filling. The service (2) was great. Although, the soda refill tasted odd. Maybe they were trying to poison me. I'm sure they would receive plenty of acclaim if they had. The place was serving about four others when I walked in (early - close to 11am). The owners were receptive. I don't think much of the Greek place in Lake Mary, so, let's say the neighborhood really needed a Mediterranean entry. It's always good to be best in class in an area. It helps when you are the only one in class. I'm not sure if people around here will go for this class of ethnic cooking, but Bosforous (among others) thrives in Winter Park, so who knows what will appeal to the Irish Pub and Mediocre Southern Italian set. It's not a low level, grab and go place. It's higher end. I'm making a regular appointment at Istanbul (when not traveling). I'm all over some chicken liver appetizer when I go back. I wish they had more ambitious stuff, but, it probably better to take smart, conservative baby steps. You wouldn't want to scare away the yokels by being to "authentic" out of the gate. Fun fact - Istanbul was Constantinople until 1923.

*As promised, I returned today for the chicken livers. It was a ridiculous serving of of around 40 pieces! I have no idea why this is an appetizer. It cost $12. It was worth it. However, I was disappointed to see (and want to warn you) that they already raised prices by what appears to be 20%. That kebab I had last time was now $12 and so on down the line. What's worse is my waiter lied to me about it when I called him on it. I went back and checked my receipt. As such, it is out of the rotation. I'm not dropping over $10 bucks (regularly) for a niche lunch. Mediterranean food is not that good. It's a whim. A diversion. It already was $15 a meal (tax and tip). You can get a better lunch bargain at every restaurant surrounding them. I suggest they read my review of their predecessor. I think they are pricing themselves out of the sweet spot. The food and drink price must come in under $10. Do what you will at dinner. You can't have uniform pricing all day. It's a different market.