Paxia, College Park - Closed

I had lunch at this Mexican restaurant in College Park on Wednesday. I had the Chicken Soup and the Enchiladas Lunch. The soup was a tomato based broth with vegetables and shredded chicken. It came in a tiny cup (the same one they use for salsa) but was mostly chicken. It was only $3. The enchiladas (2) were full of chicken and covered in melted cheese. It came with beans (black or refried) and rice. It was $7. They seem to be trying for a nuevo-Mexican feel. The place is hipsterish and the prices reflect that sensibility. I ordered off the lunch menu. Most of their entrees are in the mid-teens. Appetizers can reach near double digits. I wouldn't flinch at those prices if the experience was vastly superior. However, the place looks hastily constructed (bad caulking and paint). It's not terribly clean for a new place (the ceiling already looks worn and the floors were dirty). There is a bar and a lounge on the right. The place is done in burnt oranges and muted reds. The floor is black. There are walls that break up the dining area into two sections. The service (2) was good. The chips were not greasy and plentiful. They were served in a funky cone. The salsa was mild. Still don't get how you are ok giving what is basically an appetizer away for free yet go on to expect one to order say a $9 tostada. Why would one do that? But, I'm not complaining.

I would advise them to sweat the details. It's so easy to go from upscale to average if you aren't meticulous. The food was good. The outside was good. But, if you want to charge big boy prices for peasant food, make sure I'm eating it in a fastidious setting. Get a toothbrush and start scrubbing. You want to be better than Don Pablo's, right? The place has to be the draw if you serve this food at those prices. It's tortillas and cheap cuts chicken and beef for christ sake.

Oh Que Bueno, Orlando

I had lunch at this Columbian restaurant past 50 on 435 last Monday on my way to the airport. I had Carne Asada y Arepa con Queso for $9.95. The flank steak was not overcooked, tough or dry. The arepa was crunchy. Eating it all together was the way to go. It actually felt like more of a breakfast than a lunch. The place must be a reconfigured bar. They still retain an enclosed bar up front and an open patio out back. The decor is sparse. It was about half full (30). The service was quick and polite. The place was clean. They took AMEX.

Wilfredo's, Orlando - Closed

I had lunch at this sh-Italian restaurant on N. Orange on Monday. It was one step forward two steps back the whole meal. $9.95 for anything off the dinner menu - forward. Dingy little place and waiter who tried to seat me in between a bar and a storage closet - two back. Waiter who was perceptive enough to gauge my unhappiness with his evaluation of my seat worthiness by non-verbal cues - forward. Bringing me chicken instead of veal and boring salad - two back. Nice portion of cutlets - forward. Taste of egg wash and limp and congealed sauce - two back. Free (I think. I didn't have it.) garlic or regular bread - forward. $2.50 soda and not refilled - two back. You get the drift. The place is cramped. Everyone is sitting on top of each other in what looks like a Italian grand mother's tea room. The veal (chicken) francese was three pieces. I think the generosity was based on it's expiration date rather than largesse. I smelled funk on the ends of some of the pieces. The egg wash was misapplied so I experienced the pleasure of fried egg on some of the pieces. The sauce was cold. It reminded me of an association dinner. I wouldn't be surprised if the cutlets were cooked the night before. I can tell because the capers didn't have enough time to soften in the sauce. I almost forgot. It came with limp rigatoni in a tomato sauce. Mmmm. Just what compliments Francese - tomato sauce. It was just thrown in because they didn't want to prepare another dish to go with it. I think some of the problem stems from the owner. She isn't Italian (not that that usually matters anyway). She is Asian. And as such has the Asian penchant for thrift (see who waits for the choicest cuts to be purchased before weighing in at a meat or seafood market). This translates into poor ingredients, assembly line production and poor understanding of the types of cuisine they are trying to recreate. It's like Mexican Chinese food. They just don't get it right. I can't imagine how infuriated I would have been if I had paid full fare. And get some damn field greens or arugula for that salad. It comes in packages in the supermarket! Iceberg lettuce is for pets.

Club Crawl - Winter Park - Eden, Red Fox, Wine Room

9-9:30pm: Eden. I had a beer at Eden. It's an outdoor bar next to the Enzian theater where the restaurant (burned down - who knew) used to be. It's now owned by some Austrian royal couple. They should show up. It would have doubled the occupancy. They have some cool beers and really old and expensive bottles of liquor and wine ($125 a shot). I just can't imagine it being tolerable past this time of year. Too hot.

9:30-9:35pm: Red Fox Lounge. Horrid singing. Tiny venue. Weird collection of geezers and hypsters. Served some well whisky in a Maker's Mark bottle. Had too see it for myself. Now I know what the here after holds for me. I'll be in the front row next to Hitler!

9:35pm-1am: Wine Room. Full. Rollins students and their parents. How many times can you play Lady GaGa and Flo rida? Double check those tabs. 1 drink will become 2. 3oz will become 5oz.

Seoul Gardens, Winter Park

I had dinner at this Korean restaurant across from where Melting Pot used to be on Friday night. I had a stew/soup with beef broth, rice cakes, clear noodles, egg and beef dumplings for $11.99. It came with 8 of those appetizer cups (fish cake, bean sprouts, kim chi, potatoes, dried beans, etc). I found it tasty. And I think I finally accepted the cavalcade of flavors argument. These things really work against each other. However, I think if your stomach is strong enough to jump from spicy to sour to sweet to whatever and back it can give you quite a satiating ride. It's like a game. Oh, that tastes like crap. What should I do to cover the taste? The place is in what must have been a French restaurant a one time because the decor remains. The place is large (60 people). However only 5 others were dining with me. They also only had one waitress. It was clean. The tableware was clean (had to mess up chopsticks and a spoon). There was no language barrier.

Punjab Palace, Winter Springs

I had lunch at this Northern Indian restaurant in Winter Springs on Friday (a slovenly strip mall on 434). I had the lunch special for $6.99! Again. I curse you - assembly line fast food enterprises and you mid-quality slop dispensers. It came with a green lentil, butter soup, rice, naan, rice pudding and choice of about 10 entrees. I had the butter chicken. It was like a tikka masala except extra creamy. It was very good, It had about seven sqaures of chicken breast. You can have it mild, medium or spicy. The soup was very rich. It came in a cup. Very nice. The naan was a little more crisp on the bottom than I've had before. But as I am not an Indian cuisine expert, I will just leave it at that. The rice was fine (maybe a tad over cooked and stirred - shredded skins). The rice pudding (I usually refuse dessert) was sweet and a little more cottage cheesy than a european rice pudding. The one criticism of the food would probably be the penurious serving of unrefilled soda at $2. The place is small (probably 20 seats). It has a strange orangeish colored interior and just a few Indian posters and some faux silk vines. It was clean. The service (1) was conscentious. They have a large dinner menu. On the downside I think I gained 5 pounds (there's a reason you don't see many skinny Indian women). The best secret about this place is that it is owned by the family that runs Punjab on I-Drive. Please try and find this place as the door knobs on the town's council has forbidden them from erected signage that would ultimately attract business. It must be because it's in such a great part of town that said signage would offend the aesthetic sensibilities of the inhabitants.

Mi Cafetal, Altamonte Springs

I had lunch at this Dominican restaurant in Altamonte Springs (436 and 434 near Pilin Thai) on Thursday. I had the house special for a ridiculously low $4.99 (now granted it's probably undeclared but how is it Subway, etc that you can't do a lunch for under $8?). Thursday's special was either Ropa Vieja (shredded beef) or Chicken Stew with rice, salad and a soup! Did I say it was $4.99? The soup was a chicken stock with beans (lots). It was savory. The beef was not overcooked. The rice did have a metallic taste that I've experienced in a few Latin kitchens (not sure of the cause). The salad was a little unimaginative (part of a head of Iceberg cut in large juliannes and topped with a tomato. I'm not sure if it was dressed but if it was it was light. It wasn't like I had room for it anyway because I had to go sampling an empanada for $2.50 that I thought came with salt cod and crab, but that I am now thinking was cod or crab. I had the cod. It was fresh, non greasy and ok. The service was attentive (not much of a language barrier). Although it was service singular not plural. It may get backed up if there is more than the 3 that were there on Thursday. The only criticism (other than not taking Amex) was the loud island music. It's a little much when you have to shout your order to the waitress. This is a restaurant not a nightclub (especially at noon). The place is small (probably seats 25). It is aethetically challenged. But, if your looking for variety and value this is a great place. They do ambitious and varied specials every day (I'm talking pigs feet people)! The regular menu is quite large (I don't know how the poor cook keeps up with the demands). And how often do you do Dominican. I mean "come on". You know you want to.

Patio Grill, Sanford

I had lunch at this American eatery today. It's just past 417 on 17-92. I had a "corned beef" sandwich for $7. I inserted the quotation marks because this wasn't corned beef. It didn't even look or taste as good as the meat you get in those 33 cent packets from the supermarket. It looked like ham. It tasted like nothing. It came on the poorest excuse for rye bread that I have ever seen. It must have been white bread that they jammed rye seed into. The swiss cheese was as flacid as it was extraneous. The worst "corned beef" sandwich I have ever had. If they asked the most non-jewish person in the world to recreate a corned beef sandwich this would be it. I'm suprised it didn't come with mayo. Take this off the menu. It came with a large bowl of Shrimp Bisque. This was both a blessing and a curse. A blessing because the bisque was quite good. A curse because they put those little canned shrimp in it. Little shrimp? You couldn't even buy and expiring shrimp cocktail tray from Publix? Talk about cheap. And that's the problem with this place. They have no respect for the building blocks of acceptable cuisine - ingredients. It's a shame because I think they could have received a good review if they didn't dig themselves such a hole to begin with. I feel for that chef (unless of course he is buying the food). Aside from that, this place is a little cleaner than their 434 location. Although, it was decorated from the Buy Direct or Home Depot collection. The service was ok. Although, she did forget to run a couple of errands for me. The tableware was clean. It was fairly crowded with a Sanford crowd. I'm sure they love this place and eat here every day. I need a little more.

Rivership Romance, Sanford

On Wednesday I had lunch aboard this cruise ship for a little over $40 (with $7 coupon that basically negated the tax and port fee). They served some cheese, crudite and sweet rolls as appetizers (all you can stomach). We then had some time on deck. Then there was a typical salad with some sort of Italian vinagrette and rolls. The main course was cornflake and panko dusted Celery City Tilapia with roasted potatos and a medley of vegetables (yellow carrots again - is it a conspiracy?). All in all it was better than I expected (I'm rating it as a 20 dollar cruise with a 20 dollar meal). The fish was large and well cooked. Unfortunately, it was covered with too much of an unecessary mayonaise based sauce. The potatos were a little over buttered. The vegetable were ok for unsteamed. The served a brownie for dessert. The service was good. Although, I still don't know why they call everyone down from the upper decks if they're going to make you wait as they serve stewardess style. I hope they have more than two servers on the other cruises (we only had about a half full tour). Ice tea, coffee, or water are complementary. They have alcohol, beer and soda for a charge. You are offered a chicken or beef or vegetable or fish or pork entree. The two specials were fish and beef on the day I sailed.

The boat is a little seasoned. It has gold trim, red pleather booths, fake Tiffany lamps and a plentitude of mirrors. I would guess it seats 100. It's air conditioned and mostly enclosed. It was bigger and more enclosed than I thought (so don't worry about sailing in the heat or rain). The silverware and glasses were a little worn . The table mats and napkins were paper. Ask for the right side of the boat. It had the better view.

All in all this was a fun experience. I did the shortest tour (3 hours). You had to be at the dock by 10:30. We left at 11 and returned at 2. It's a cheap getaway and the food will be better than expected. It's not the Queen Mary but I think it's exactly what their demographic clamors for . It was mostly an older crowd and their young relations who boarded with me. Most were celebrating some kind of anniversary or birthday. They had an MC who furnished some good info (who new the St John's is black because of tannins from Cypress trees). We probably could have done without his karoake on the ride back. We saw alligators, snakes, manatees, birds and other flora and fauna on our ride. It may not live up to the expectations of some snobs, but, I found it a decent value and I ask the snobs of Central Florida to slum it for an afternoon or evening and I think they will be secretively satisfied. Where else can you get this experience locally? Unique(ness) is hard too find.