I tried these spots on Friday. The first is near The Spanish River Grill in the Publix shopping area off A1A. The second is near the drawbridge on Flagler Ave.
Off The Hook - I first noticed this seafood restaurant when I found Spanish River. It seemed kind of inauthentic, so, I put it off until now. I will say that I still think the vibe is kind of manufactured. It seems like a chain. Some people are placed at ease by that kind of clean familiarity. I'm not one of them. I had a mahi Puffy Fish Tacos with fries for what I think was $12. I say "think" because I didn't get a bill. I opined (when asked) that I didn't think the fish was fresh (fishy tasting) and they comped the meal. I really wasn't looking for that (you know I just have a big mouth and a penchant for using verbal exchanges for more than social bonding), but, it is good to know that they take their reputation seriously and cultivate it with more than lip service. Then again, maybe they knew this batch of mahi should have found its way into a wastebasket and they really didn't lose anything in the bargain. I will argue that this may have been more a case of a rogue fillet than a financial decision. Perhaps a sourcing or storage problem. I am inclined to give them the benefit of the doubt based on the totality of the service. And it wasn't "piss out of your ass hours later" fishy. The portion size was large (two tail sections) and otherwise cooked well. The fries were good. The salsa was cold and tasteless. They even offered a to go soda that I should have accepted. The place seats about 90. It is clean. It looks like a Tommy Bahama's shirt. Service was good. The menu was a tad ordinary. All in all - ordinary. But, that seems to be the sweet spot for Joe Sixpack (a six pack of Mic Ultra of course).
Cafe Heavenly - This place has been tormenting me since I saw the sign for its lobster rolls last Fall. I know the odds are 1 in 10 for getting a decent/inexpensive lobster roll (1 in 30 in Florida), but, I hoped that they could stand up to the scrutiny. They could not. Here is the problem in a nutshell. Most places fail because they use lobster than has been emaciated from it's time in captivity. Plus they boil instead of steaming (robs them of any sweetness). Side bar - I mean how retarded are people (especially people whom have grown up around the sea) that they don't get that boiling sucks as a cooking method. It even sucks for vegetables and meat. How does no one get that it should be left to the Russians and Germans.They are too miserable to notice they difference. I see cooking shows and pro's are boiling their seafood. I want to strangle them. End of side bar. Then the "boils" are too far in between. Then they only use the shit parts of the lobster. I won't even get into the guys who use frozen parts. Heavenly gave me three, limp, small, tasteless pincher claws. They didn't even mix in the mayo or cut up the claws. Some say the pinchers are sweeter than the "crushing" claw. Not if you boil it and don't trim the "fingers". Then it's just the least meaty part of the lobster with bitter ends. Plus they had the audacity to charge $19 for this junior version (regular = $23). You know how I know the price is obscene? I saw a $5 off coupon for the "Jr" in a local magazine. That means they can take an extra $5 off and still not blink at the profit margin. This is a $10 lobster roll at best. And that means that you should skip it and order something else that might actually be good. They serve some other seafood, but, it is overpriced too for a place with zero allure. It is just a deli looking place that seem to be two places next to each other. They also serve pizza and the way they do the signage it looks like two different locations. The pizza parlor looked promising. Wood fire. They start at $11 for individuals, but, go up to $24 for a lobster pizza. The gelato looked good. If I had to guess, the place is run by some goombas from Long Island or NE. You realize the cost of living is lower down here, right? This isn't even Jupiter Florida. They are the only ones who think they can do both seafood and pizza. They also serve flatbreads and sandwiches in many forms. And smoothies. I found it be too much of a joint for these price points. Either pony up and get a real location with a paved driveway and adequate seating or pass some of that saved coin back to your customers. I can only say, first hand, that your lobster rolls suck (and the wine selection). The rest may be good (even great), but, $13 for a panini? $17 for one crab cake? That shitty Caesar salad side doesn't balance out. Drop those prices or improve the non-culinary elements of you endeavor. I'd ignore their food truck too.
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