I just got back from this Firefly replacement across from the movie theater. The guy from Pizza Vadiamo (sp?) took over the lease and stripped the pub grub menu to just burgers. Sadly they can't even get that right. They may have served me the worst burger I've ever had. And I eat Krystal burgers. The short rib ground was burnt on the outside and raw in the middle. They dust stormed it in some needless salt and spice rub. Drenched!. The grind was bad. It had cartilage and vein bits galore. The patty was formed in that half hand/half mold compromised way. The meat had no taste. The burgers must be "assembled" on a plastic menu with oil marker. The bun may be pretzel, brioche, lettuce leaf or Texas toast. Four clichés. Four things I hate about "gourmet" burger culture. The meats can be short rib, bison, turkey, salmon, and chicken (?). The cheeses were the usual plus beer cheese (melted nacho cheese sauce). The veg were the usual. And they also force several "glazes" on you. I can't imagine how much worse the burger would have been with any of those. They had ranch dressing as a sauce! Is there any greater sign of gastronomic impotence? In Australia I was trying to explain to a guy how some Americans dip their pizza in ranch dressing. Much to his amusement. This may be as bad. I kind of recall a few pithy "extra toppings". Can't recall them now. They add the cheeses are $1.50 more. Not that it matters, but, I had a short rib ($10) with beer cheese and green olives and onion and tomato. It came with a side. I chose fries. They were served in a little fryer basket and that was the extent of their charm They were also over salted. They were another cliché I hate. Those skin on offenders that never crisp up. Sodas were $3. The place looks exactly the same. They even replicated (didn't update) the booze section of Firefly. I recoiled in apprehension when I saw their signage over X-mas. I knew it would suck. I knew I would have to waste both my money and time there. Intuition was dead on. They can't even conjure up an original moniker. Is it Smiling Bison or is it the Hairy Buffalo? No. It is the Hangry Bison. Good one! An interesting (to me) side note. My step brother coined the phrase "hangry" in the Nineties. He also came up with bacne. As well as a host of other acne related (as well as others) words (like nacne) that are derived from where the acne is located on the body. Aside from zed. Which was a dick zit. I have added some words to the English vocabulary as well, but, I doubt you will believe either of the stories I have just told you. It makes me chuckle when I hear them though. You wonder how this game of telephone worked its way through the country. I was also responsible for the "Baby It Is Cold Outside" controversy. FYI.
In any case, this place sucks. The funniest part is that they claim to have "won" the best burger in CF award. I wonder what questionable publication is responsible for that? I love these "fan vote" contests of a dozen or so entrants. These are the same hayseeds that vote Sonny's BBQ best barbeque and Tijuana Flats best Mexican. And those are some of the lesser obscenities. If it wasn't clear, stay clear of here or you will be as angry as a bison getting fucked by Mike Tyson..
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