I tried this one month old Spanish restaurant on Monday at lunch. The executive chef is Jose Andres. I first learned of him (I believe) through Anthony Bourdain in one of the episodes where he visited the now defunct Il Bulli in Spain. I can't recall if he (Jose) worked there at one time or was/is just an acolyte. In any case, this is probably as close as I will ever get to Ferran Adria. So that is what I did. And not surprisingly, Igor is not (hopefully) as good a scientist as Dr Frankenstein. This meal was as convoluted as his politics.While much of the blame can probably by laid on the people who actually did the cooking (although his supposed right hand man is still in the kitchen), the menu construction is also a miss. Too much repurposing food. Half the menu or more must be other peoples effort plated with an upcharge. Like $30 for anchovies. I like that people can be exposed to a panoply of regional gastronomy, but, that is what food halls and markets are for. You are supposed to be a wunderkind. Let's see some actual cooking.
I'll return to the menu later on. Now let's see what troubled me particularly. I started with a paella of mushroom and chicken. I wanted a rabbit and chicken from Valencia, but, they only do two of the six on any given day. That is in tiny print in that section of the menu. I must say that I settled on the paella because the menu doesn't have many off ramps under $30. You are forced into paella (high twenties to thirties) or a two apps/tapas shame fest. They did have a basic sandwich for under twenty. I was scared it was going to be Triscuit sized. A slider is $8 or 9 and a taco was $18 (and it is just a slice of Iberico and roe). Back to paella. Or should I say - steamy elephant dump. It was like bad chaufa. Leeching oil. Over cooked bomba (at least) rice. Rubbery chicken. Molted mushrooms. Offensive, fattening aioli strewn across the plate. I swear they made it the day before. It didn't have any of the "crunch" you are supposed to get from the bottom layer's overcooking. It was like bad fried rice you get at a cheap Chinese buffet where they cooks are Mexican and make the rice like they make Mexican rice. I (yes me!) couldn't eat it. I know. I eat everything. Just couldn't do it. Fortunately, the manager comped it. Kudos. I said they didn't have to. It cost around $26. I turned that generosity back into the menu and ordered his famous olives and a Canary Island rabbit app. The olives are done via molecular gastronomy. Olive oil is turned into a blob (with nitrogen I believe) that looks like an olive. It was cute for a minute. Then you realize the accompanying "real" olives are tastier. Thank You Mother Nature. The real science expert. You get four of each for $12. The "blobs" have a gummy texture and you taste a little lemon up front. They serve the blobs in spoons and the real olives in a sardine tin. Nicer plating than the paella (unadorned white plate). The rabbit was a leg smothered with a paste. The flavors are probably best described as pseudo Moroccan. Not much flavor for all that slop. The rabbit was also a bit dry. It was seated on an apricot puree/jam that had no flavor. No sweetness. No brightness. And this dish needed both or either or anything. It was as if they were using my five year old flavor spent spices, It cost $15. As Maximus implored - "Are you not entertained"? Uhh, no. Not really. Really unimpressed actually. Not that I truly believed a franchised, celebrity chef mega-outpost at Disney was going to be able to recreate the level of artistry evinced (ostensibly) at the place that made this place possible. But, one can always hope....and always have the football yanked from underneath one. I'm flat on my back again.
Back to the menu. Some examples. A 22oz ribeye is $75. Is that a lot? I just had two steaks (14 and 18oz) at very famous steak restaurants in Texas and both were mid-twenties with all the sides. Very fresh beef. One cheese option was over $20. A three piece cheese plate was around $20. The Iberico ham was pricy. Starting at the twenties and climbing. They had some salads. High teens. Sides were all around $10. Not much molecular gastronomy. I think a foam was the other science experiment. There is a small section of the menu that are his "specialties". Nothing too special. Tapas you see on most menus. The menu's print is tiny. I see many a codger having trouble reading it. And that is during the day. God help them when the place is electrically lit. They also appear to have two tasting menus. One in the seventies (14 course) and one at around one hundred and fifteen or so where the chef prepares a meal for you. I don't think they list it. Lunch and dinner menu is the same. I didn't peruse the wine or cocktails lists. The best dish I saw was an ice cream dish the table next to me had to end their two hour tasting adventure.
The space is amusing. It is shaped like an artichoke. It has lots of "corner" seats. Many tables are angled so they face each other at forty five degrees. The hexagon is celebrated. There are many plush, low backed booths (curved) with red and yellow (Spanish flag) cushioned backs. Up front are two large tables made from foosball tables. A bar/waiting area in the front left. A patio on the lake in back. The open kitchen on the left. The "lab" area and cheese and meats "kitchen" on the right. A large mural of some seaside town on the left wall aside a staircase to a yet unopened (permit) second level. Some beaded curtains to break up the open floor plan. Lots of glittery objects. A few ham slicing "carts" Modern and funky.
The service was almost one on one. Part of that was probably the lack of customers. Part was my poor humor. They seemed to want to please me. But, I think they have this part down well. My waiter was very conciliatory and upbeat. He also had enough knowledge of the place and the man he represents. I almost felt bad for being nonplussed at the experience. And that is the sad thing. I really kind of wanted it to be great. The execution just wasn't. And it's not like they haven't had time to get the kinks out. Maybe they just are exhaling from the opening and things are going slack for a period. Maybe it is because they just started doing lunch? Maybe they don't care about lunch service as much as dinner? Maybe it was an outlier of an experience? Maybe I wouldn't look for so many excuses if it was different chef? But, the menu is also a let down. At least sushi can claim that the freshness requirements of their stock and trade demand significant upcharges. I don't accept the same justification for tinned sardines and dried ham Maybe I should since waiting for things to age is also expensive. However, I will maintain that neither can claim to require much talent in the kitchen. Just a few knife skills and assassins have those. They just require a smart purchasing manager and a Fed Ex delivery person. Maybe a "curator"? Ooooh. Jose Andres- Curator to the Stars.
The name was said to mean "celebration" and Wikipedia (yeah I looked it up for you) says it is "a chorus in flamenco in which dancers and singers clap". I'll give it a golf clap. It's not bad. It's not outrageously overpriced. It's just not special. And if you go in with that expectation it may be cause for celebration. It's open from 11am to 11pm on weekdays and until 12 on weekends (probably just Fri and Sat). It's in between HOB and Bongo's in the old Wolfgang Puck spot. I don't know why the name makes me think of a Michael Chrichton novel.
*The NBA place is finally being built.
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