Friday, April 14, 2023

Grub Crawl - SoDo and Winter Park: Dragon King, House of Mac (Closed) and Just Salad

I tried these spots on Tuesday. The first two at lunch. The third at dinner. All to go. The first two are on South Orange Ave around Michigan. The third is on South Orlando in between Fairbanks and Lee Rd.

Dragon King - I only went to this ancient Chinese place because I needed more of an incentive than just House of Mac and it was the last thing in the area (my route to the airport) that remained untested. What I expected (except for the high prices). Average take out in a decrepit environment. I had the Moo Goo Gai Pan lunch special for $11. Isn't that about twice the going rate before Bidenflation? I swear my local place has it at $6 with a soda. This a bland chicken dish if you were unaware. Came with broccoli, onion, cabbage and carrot. Not as unfresh as some places. Side of fried rice and a mostly fillingless eggroll. Like I said, it was acceptable (not greasy). But not worth the premium price. All the dish prices seemed high. And weird numbers. Like they were lucky numbers or they just took the old spreadsheet and multiplied the old prices by some new profit margin at a fixed percent. Usual menu. 7 tables. Mostly four seaters. Empty at 2pm. Sounds from the kitchen sounded Chinese. One front of house girl. Didn't seem Chinese. In a non-descript strip mall with no real landmark to point you to. Not that I would.

House of Mac - This is another South Florida franchise. Pit Bull's ex-manager. It was announced over a year ago. But, just opened in February. I really thought I was going to flame throw this spot (for a variety of reasons), but, it may have saved itself slightly. I tried the cheapest item because it is just stupid mac and the rest were overpriced. The World Famous Five Cheese Mac and Cheese at $13. I believe they sprinkle it with chemicals (err truffle oil). I was expecting a ramakin of mac. It was a casserole. One of those big tin circle containers. Maybe eight portions worth. I've eaten two. And it was ok. Properly cooked elbow macaroni. Ok sauce (except for the oil and rosemary accents). On the thicker side. Coated with a layer of cheese that I could live with out. But, it's more product. I do believe they pre-prep these. Maybe not. They said it would take ten minutes to prepare. No one can be that slow wrapping up a container. Right? And you can't nuke metal. Not sure because I didn't try it until a bit later and it was room temp then. Not sure if it was ever hotter. I nuked some and it was way better hotter. You can even put the cheese side down and it will leave a skin of cheese after you pick around it. Then you can use that to make a grilled cheese. So, in summary and in conclusion (that's an SNL reference) ok mac - would prefer the non-family size portion at a lower price. Then I MIGHT be tempted to try the $18 burger or more expensive salmon or higher priced macs. But, probably not. Salmon? Here? Defenitely not. The place already looks grubby. They still keep the real estate lady key holder lock on the front door. It never looks open. Just a tiny, unfurnished, square room with a counter at the end. Some pics of the owner with celebs and his spots on tv on a loop on the tvs. That's three "on" (ons?) in one sentence. Not changing it though. I'm torn. It's really just another stupid novelty restaurant. However, it's not as terrible as I thought it would be. But, the sizes and prices aren't single guy (or calorie) friendly. You decide. More people (women) patronize the fake health food dessert (err smoothie) place next door. I guess being associated with Pit Bull isn't quite the same draw up here. It's always empty. How do I know? I've tried this place four times over the past year because of bs info from the internet. But, I guess it would be empty when it was never open. I came one time just before 11am. Open 11am - late (maybe past 11pm). Maybe 7 days? It's near that condo complex in between the hospital and Michigan. There is a Foxtail Coffee at the corner. Parking in back. And homeless people! Some in wheel chairs!

Just Salad - You knew this was coming...Just Stupid. It's it isn't even just bad looking, expensive salads. They also ruin wraps and bowls and soup. I tried the cheapest thing because I was only doing this for you to begin with and even then it everything looked disappointing. I "curated" (actually I don't think they abused this word) a half filled, recycled, cardboard quinoa bowl with three items (shredded broccoli, chick peas and cherry tomatoes) and a protein (they do abuse this poor word). That would be six "nuggets" of dry, supermarket salad bar chicken. The guy gave me a tiny dressing cup (avocado something), but, he kind of made it sound like it should cost extra. Made me think of that scene in Beverly Hills Cop where Damon Wayans tells Eddie Murphy to "go on and take those bananas" (for the tailpipe of course). It cost $11. Most listed things were a few bucks more. They have around fifteen add ons. Just tofu as an extra "tein". Rice or sweet potatoes too. Order at a counter. Modern build. White. Tile. Counter in rear of building. Seats aside and up front. Odd because parking is in the rear and most people will see their ass before their face. See what I did there? Ass and rear in the same sentence. This is another unnecessary (and hopefully unwelcome) South Florida franchise. There are at least five other "healthy" rip off chains in the area already. I was ambivalent about this place when I thought it was an all you can eat salad bar. This was another punch to the nether region entirely. It's across from that Knife Cake place (Golden Knife?). Closer to Fairbanks. Some place listed as Superica is being built out at the end of the strip mall. Seems months away. 

*I heard that Farm & Haus opened a location on Park Ave. Don't look for a review. See the one from when I went to the East End market location.

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