I think it has happened once before. A place that made such a bad first impression that I left before ordering. A place that needs a wake up call. A review that can be written without regard to the food. A place that starts the at bat with three strikes. I should have listened to the Universe. I was distracted on my way in and veered off the Sand Lake exit into the Volcano Bay area and then had to get back on I4 on go to Sea World to get back to Sand Lake. I should have kept going and never turned back. BTW who is the idiot that put no off ramps between Sand Lake and the Beach Line? *This all transpired yesterday at lunch.
The offending behavior(s) is not egregious in retrospect. It's an example that betrays a ethos. The behavior(s) in this case were a visually unappealing host (head to toe tats and a parolee/junky vibe), a petulant Puerto Rican reform school looking waiter and some amusing big timing. Now, I'm not sure if the host meant to give me the worst seat in a nearly unattended restaurant or if he was just a poorly trained numbskull, but, that is what he did. Apparently, my reaction to this insult/stupidity must have displeased the bus boy (err waiter) and his attitude towards me was provoking. Throw in the risk of food retribution from the kitchen and a few more critiques I will expand on and I just had to get out of there or challenge someone to a duel.
The place is a chain. The French "Applebee's'. Plastic menus (with pictures) and all. Sticky, grimy, worn menus. I think they have been open less than six months! The selection is also odd and pricy. The rest of staff is equally "greasy" looking. I didn't see one female employee. It just screamed (insert any of the many ethnic groups this applies to) latently homosexual bohunkery. There were two tables seated at prime lunch hour. A waspy couple and a table of three French men. Hopefully, they were there to report on the franchise and understood what transpired. Then again, they are French and probably found it laudable behavior and acceptable business conduct. And why was Latin music being blasted in a French restaurant?
The place is in an inconvenient strip mall that seems to swallow up enterprises. The traffic alone in the area makes it undesirable. To go here you really have to have a reason. The ambiance surely is not one. They can't act like this. In French "fermez la bouche" means "shut up" or less colloquially "close your mouth". I can only hope the Universe will listen to me when I request that they "fermez la boucherie".
*On top of this, my plan b (Chronic Tacos) was far from ready. I had to go to Disney (as the Universe was leading me) as you will read about shortly.
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