Friday, March 16, 2012

Grub Crawl - Longwood : Romansa (Closed), Papa Bees (Moved), Papa Tony's (Closed), Frank-O's

Romansa - It's across from Gateway To India on 434 close to 17-92. They refer to themselves as a restaurant, wine bar and cafe. I had lunch there on Tuesday. It's a place that serves alot of things you would see on American and Italian menus and a few Yugoslavian dishes. The owner's are Serb and Croatian. The restaurant means "Romance" in Serb (and for some reason a dialect of the Philippines) if you believe Google. I had two of the "regional" offerings. I had Cevapi for $7. It was a sandwich of five little link sausage looking pieces of what they call meat. I'm not sure if I can be more precise. I was going with beef until I looked at how they describe it on the menu. I had a taste there, but, had to wrap it up because the next dish filled me up. The Cevapi was predictably dull. There was nothing added. It came with a bland red pepper puree and some raw onions. We are talking the rudiments of gastronomy. The bread was a mix between focaccia and pita. It was good. The main course was a similar dish called Pljeskavica. It was one large log that they list as ground beef (tasted like the Cevapi) stuffed with bacon and cheese. It cost $12. It came with the same accoutrements and tasted about the same as the Cevapi. I couldn't really taste the bacon. Perhaps it was subsumed by the char on the log. Not to say it was overcooked. It was semi-moist inside. The cheese seemed like a form of string cheese and I believe I saw more on top than inside. It came with some well cooked shoe string french fries, a basic salad and garlic bread. They also have : weiner schnitzel, goulash, Raznjici (skewers), Punjena Paprika (stuffed peppers), Sarma (stuffed cabbage rolls) and Pork Medallions. I'm not saying that these are the tastiest dishes from the most renowned culinary region on the planet. I'm saying it's a change from the ordinary. The space is similarly, aesthetically, dull. A little gauche. It's a step down from Jersey Shore Italian. It's that horrible confluence of Arabic and Mediterranean tastes. Think of the people who brought you the velvet track suit and shaved head look and you'll get the picture of what you are in for. It's a rougher Goomba aesthetic. These guys haven't created something as bad as some of things I've seen out of the immigrants from former Soviet Republic, but, it is still a notch below tasteful. I'm not blaming Communism. These tastes have been passed on for generations. The sad thing is this will come as a big surprise to the owners and the patrons. I believe that they believe it is a triumph. Back to the room. It seats about 50. It has two booths in the window and the rest are fours. It takes up half of the space. The other side is a dance floor and bar. The bar looks ok. The dance floor is an eye sore and cheapens the presentation. They have a ghetto patio outside in the parking lot that seats about forty. They probably need it to seat the smokers. There were about a dozen people there. All seemed Slavic. The service (1) was polite. They could probably use a second set of hands. I recommend this place as place to pick up Eastern European women and food. If you have no interest in either then this is a "me too" restaurant in a remote location. You can probably don't need to venture this far for the usual food and women. They have been open for over a year.

*They moved to the old Fiesta location on 434 and 17-92. Now closed.

Papa Bees - This place is next to Romansa. They said they have been there for twenty years. It's a coffee shop that claims to have the best wings in town. Because I ate them the next day, I will not confirm or deny that. But, if I had to bet, I would bet against. Even when microwaved, they weren't crisp. I'm not sure if they steamed in the bag or lost crispness in the fridge. They weren't bad. Just ordinary. The place is lack luster. It has some sports inspired decorations and a claw machine. They had a sign that said they now serve beer and wine at $2. The wings cost $8 for 10. I'm sure it's fine for an everyday pick me up, but, it is not a destination.

*They moved to Ronald Reagan Blvd near Hourglass Brewery.

Papa Tony''s - This place moved to 17-92 from their place in a gas station on 434. I think it used to be a Bavarian place. I looked at my review of their last locale and I ripped them. Hopefully, the new location will mean better food. The pizza I had was good. It was under $2. It was thin with a non sweet tomato sauce. They didn't change much inside.

Frank-O's - I'd like to say more about this little deli on 17-92 near the old Range Rover dealership, but, the sandwich I had was average at best and the inside is very minimalist. I had a NY Slammer for $7. It was corned beef and pastrami on marbled rye. The quality of the meats were like the stuff you get in those pouches for 89 cents. I'd say it tasted like a latex glove, but, then you will say how do you know what a latex glove tastes like and then I will have to tell you something you don't want to know about your mother. I'm sure they will say it is Boarshead, but, Boarshead quality isn't what it used to be and isn't good enough for these two delicacy meats. That said, it was better than the corned beef I had at Firehouse on Monday, so maybe most yokels won't know the difference. Then again would anybody but a devotee order these meats. The people inside were nice. There is a Frank O. He is from Crook-Land. They serve breakfast, smoothies, soups, sandwiches, salads and even latin food on special order. The place seats about forty on sterile plastic benches like I think you see in the hospital. I haven't been to a hospital in a while (maybe after these reviews), but, that is all that comes to mind. I can't recall any decoration. I wouldn't make an effort to find it, but, if you are close it is an option. They have been open for nine months.

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