I had dinner at this re-vamped spot near the Publix on Monday. I don't know why, but, I have had a bad feeling about this ever since I heard of the reboot (and I didn't even know it was the same team). The first time I went here it was so unmemorable that I forget the theme. The next time (when it was Jack's Steakhouse) I believe I had a bad burger. The next time I road safaried to the ultra-inconvenient ex-military artillery range, I found out that they now fancy themselves a dinner only kind of establishment. I only returned this time because I'm tenacious and it was sort of on the way to the airport. It turned out that my Spidey-sense was dead on. One look at the overpriced and banal menu and I knew it was deja vu all over again. The lunkheads that run this place evidently can only learn the wrong things through trial and error an/or observation. A new place (Osprey Tavern) came in and did something similar (in their eyes) and succeeded. They took from that that their concept was out of date (correct) and all they needed to do was copy what the new guys were doing. They forgot that is not only the what, but, the how. I wouldn't be surprised if they kept the same "Ale House" level cooks from Jack's. So, it is still low on talent. Then they cherry picked the least complicated items from a gastro-pub menu (street tacos, chicken wrap, tuna tartare, etc) because either they have no one with imagination or the talentless kitchen could not be entrusted with anything not offered in an Ale House type restaurant. Then they tried to copy the decor of the market leader. Then they raised the prices ($40 for a steak and $12+ for every app) to imply that they are at that level. They forgot two things. Guys like me (hell all of us) are going to call them out on their short con and THERE IS ALREADY SOMEONE IN YOUR TINY FISHBOWL THAT IS DOMINATING THIS NICHE! I mean how stupid do you have to be not to understand brand positioning. You don't need an MBA. Buy a book! Any book on sales and marketing and it is a chapter title! Even if you are that good (and you aren't), it is very hard to unseat a market leader. At best you can pick off their overflow. I doubt that peculiarity is in play here. Anyway, back to my meal in particular. I gave up and just ordered a burger again. I wasn't about to trust them with anything more complicated or expensive. I had a long flight ahead of me. It looked alright. However, the Luis Guzman parolee (in my imagination) in the back squeezed every drop of moisture out of the already thinnish patty. Those juices and fats then were lit up by the over heated flame grill and char burned the exterior. The result was an ashy hockey puck. And wait, it was overly salty and what I could taste of the beef tasted like Salisbury steak. The onions and tomato were wilted. The lettuce was fresh. The pickle was good. The fries they served along with it were good, but, so overly salted that I got tired of trying to wipe them down and left them uneaten. This travesty cost $15. The worst part of the evening was that I know that the place is like one of those plants that traps its insect victims with an enticing aroma or attractive color. It looks nice. The menu may appeal to a culinary laggard. And then you are trapped. I think it is important to tell you that I missed my flight because of a visa misunderstanding and that was the second most infuriating event of the day. The only "buzz" is from the flies gathering around this soon to be dead carcass. Avoid.
*I also want to add that this place made me a supporter of the $15 and hour minimum wage. That way I won't feel so bad paying for $15 cheeseburgers anymore.
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